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Whether we hide it well or not, we all have a handful of insecurities. As we pick our physical or internal features apart, we often risk becoming too obsessed with something that has no rational ground.

While many women out there know what it means to be way too judgemental of themselves, men are no exception. In a society where an illusory image of a strong and successful man has been fostered since the dawn of time, they find it particularly hard if not impossible to express their vulnerable side.

So this thread on Ask Reddit shares a whole new light on insecurities men have that they often remain silent about. “Girls of Reddit, what is something guys shouldn't feel insecure about?” someone asked, and below we wrapped up the most interesting responses.

Also, when you’re done, don’t forget to check out our previous feature on common female insecurities that according to men don’t matter at all.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Appearing feminine over stupid things, like thinking a puppy is cute, wearing pink, or being generally friendly and smiley. Women like that s**t and get annoyed and exhausted by men who take masculinity too far.

eyebrowshampoo , Yogendra Singh Report

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Camila Esteban Guerrero
Camila Esteban Guerrero
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Imagine being so limited by toxic masculinity that you can't fall in love with a puppy!!!

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#2

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About A good example is actually happening right now. I’m at a pool party. Two very nice overweight guys are in the pool but they are both wearing tee shirts to cover their guts and just standing around. Then there is a 3rd heavyset guy who easily has an extra 40 pounds on the other two guys. He is shirtless having the time of his life playing with abandon the pool basketball game and cracking jokes. He is way more attractive to the girls because he isn’t ashamed of his body and exudes confidence.

Should all three lose weight? Sure, most of us should, but don’t stop having fun because you are ashamed of yourself. Live your life and have fun. This is very attractive to all people.

Just my opinion. I’m a middle aged woman and I think I have a bit of wisdom about things like this. I’ve seen some s**t ha.

Dabo57 , Oliver Dumoulin Report

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#3

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About It's ok to not be the smartest person in the room. Admitting you don't know/understand a thing does not make you look weak. Blustering your way through makes you seem like an arrogant a*s.

Iddywah , Austin Distel Report

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flutterbyy
flutterbyy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This so much. I love it when people are curious about things/ willing to learn in general. If I know about it, I'll overshare every single thing I know. If I don't, we'll look it up together.

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“In my opinion, insecurities develop from messages we get as children,” Susan Petang, a certified divorce coach and the creator of “The Quiet Zone Coaching,” who teaches women how to stop feeling overwhelmed and start waking up happy in the morning again, told Bored Panda in an interview. 

“From the very first day, we get obvious and NOT so obvious messages from the people around us. Those messages might be positive, negative, intentional, or unintentional, but our little brains absorb them and accept them as truth,” Petang argues.
#4

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Dont feel insecure about liking "girly" things. Order that fruity drink, watch that rom com, and sing in the shower. A lot less people care than you might realize.

Areasley , joyce Mutesva Report

Final score:
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#5

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Height.

I know the popular presumption is ~anyone under 6 ft is screwed~ but if a girl considers a couple inches to be a dealbreaker she’s not worth your time anyway. I’m short, but lots of my tall and beautiful friends have dated men somewhat to quite a bit shorter than them. It’s no big deal.

Edit: to all the dudes snarking about how the above is not true, I promise ya, that kinda sh*tty attitude is wayyyy more unattractive than any physical characteristic. And if the only women you ever want truly *all* diss you for height, well...I’d look inwardly about your own tastes, too.

giraffewoman , Dalila Dalprat Report

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flutterbyy
flutterbyy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm somewhere between 5'2" and 5'3". I can't imagine the toll on my neck if I were to date a 6 ft. person.

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#6

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Being vocal when they orgasm ! I've seen so many guys just hold their breath and try to choke any sound that might come out of their throat when they cum and it's just a little sad, like what are you afraid of ? I wanna know you're having fun, I wanna know you enjoy what's happening ! Be loud about it, screw the neighbors !

GwendolynWeatherwax , Andrea Piacquadio Report

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“As children, we have little or no life experience or wisdom to filter through those messages and discard what's not true. For example, if your mom gets annoyed and yells, "You're BAD!  Don't be so stupid!" I might take that to heart and start to believe I'm bad and stupid, especially if that message is sent over and over again.”

Petang explained that “My subconscious will pick up on those negative messages.  Our experiences as children can reinforce insecurities, too. If other kids in your class got an A on a test, but you failed, you might start to believe that you're not as smart, rather than understand that the teacher's teaching style didn't match your learning style, or that you just weren't paying attention that day because you didn't feel well.”
#7

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Guys shouldn't have to be insecure about crying. Masculinity standards make men feel they shouldn't ever cry, but its a healthy way if expressing sadness and can even be a method of getting rid of stress.

kiriechi , Ketut Subiyanto Report

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Audra Sisler
Audra Sisler
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hubby cried when daughters were born..... I felt nothing but love and pride for that man!!!😍😍😍😍

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#8

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Being empathetic towards women's issues.

A lot of men tend to downplay or water down women's reactions, especially when they are in a group. Maybe because they don't want to seem as if they think differently from other men in the group.

If you empathise, you empathise. Doesn't make you less if a man for understanding us and where we're coming from.

herroyalcattyness , Samantha Sophia Report

Final score:
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TrolleyNotTheCart
TrolleyNotTheCart
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This trait is hella attractive,i donno why some men think manly= as*h**e

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#9

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Being able to admit that you were wrong and apologize.

chynorte , Мария Волк Report

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KitKat
KitKat
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This applies to everyone, irrespective of gender. If you got it wrong just say so & then we all can move on...

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When asked what are the signs that insecurity has become a real problem for a person, and they should consult a professional, Petang said that it’s when your insecurities start to affect the quality of your daily life, you may need some help. “For example, if you don't try new things because, "I'm never good at stuff like that, anyway," your internal messaging needs to be checked out.”
#10

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Showing kindness. Along the same lines of emotion but it's ok to be nice. It's not attractive being an aggressive jerk all the time (or at all).

theknittedgnome , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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Who Panda 420
Who Panda 420
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Besides a sense of humor showing kindness is definitely one of the hottest and most attractive features I find in a guy. The more empathic the better.

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#11

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Singing.

I love when I’m at a chill pizza joint and the cooks in the kitchen are singing. Doesn’t even matter if they’re not great singers. I love when people are happy enough to sing!

SucksHellaDick69 , Eugenia Clara Report

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Who Panda 420
Who Panda 420
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I love when they sing too and when they make their pizza dough the old fashioned way by throwing it up in the air spinning it and catching it on their fist.

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#12

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Not making as much money as their girlfriend or wife. If you're with the right girl she won't care. As long as you have a career that makes you happy, that's all that should matter.

svdel , Karolina Grabowska Report

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Tessb90
Tessb90
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you're with the right person, who makes what doesn't matter at all because it's all going towards your life together, whether it's your family of pets, or kids, or anything else, it doesn't matter. When the money is discussed as your money vs my money, not our money for our lives now, and our lives together in the future; the relationship should probably be re-evaluated. There is no competition in a relationship between people who are with right person. It's either us, or you, and I, separately.

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Petang also said that she can't see an upside to insecurity, but I can see a downside to the opposite, which is narcissism. “When folks think they are the best thing to ever happen to the world, and that they don't need to conform to the rules of the society we live in, it creates hate and chaos.”

According to the life coach, a lot of the time, insecure people are approval seekers, so they desperately try to make others like them. “I guess that's better than being a jerk!”
#13

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Their muscles— or lack thereof. Girls aren’t as into muscles as you might think :)

That said, a man who doesn’t look that muscly but is strong is very attractive.

anon , samer daboul Report

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Who Panda 420
Who Panda 420
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't care about muscles but I like it when a guy can defend himself. I've had two ex-boyfriends that didn't look muscly at all but one was a Jiu-Jitsu master and the other one was a knife and mixed martial arts expert. I cannot tell you how sexy I found that. Especially when I saw one of them in action defending another woman from a guy who had slapped her. He won in a fight bare-headed against two guys with knives. That said I also think there's something sexy about pacifists.

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#14

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Receding hairline. If we love you we love you

thepapervictory , Sigmund Report

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Kyria Denton
Kyria Denton
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband was bald when we met, I still think a bald is a solar panel for a sex machine

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#15

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Some friends of mine are really insecure about not being able to grow a beard. Tbh it doesn’t really matter.

barstudent , Drew Hays Report

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#16

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About D**k size and their weight
I understand some ppl might think this is a lie but I personally think so as a woman bc size is not what determines how good sex is. Some may hav a preference, but with 7 billion people in this world, I think preferences are diverse. Plus, there are vagina sizes too. Many ppl forget that.

As for weight, love ur body. Confidence is attractive. It only shud be put to concern if ur health is affected by it.

Also, this is my opinion, this isn’t a lie bc this is genuinely how I think. I know there are people out there who can agree, while others may not.

EDIT: I MEANT THEIR BODY WEIGHT LMFAO

anon , Joegoauk Goa Report

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Who Panda 420
Who Panda 420
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had seen a survey where they asked women what the top 10 attributes on a man were and almost every single time d**k size was last on the list. When they asked men what they thought the top 10 attributes were they almost always put d**k size first. BTW what women thought was the most important was a sense of humor first

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#17

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Asking for help.

Snatched , Jakob Owens Report

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Brenda
Brenda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is this so difficult? We're supposed to be a team, working together

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#18

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About acknowledging other attractive guys, women say other women are beautiful all the time why can’t guys say the same things about other guys without fearing being called gay

hardboiledeggtiddy , Tyler Nix Report

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Who Panda 420
Who Panda 420
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Again I find it sexy for some reason when a guy is confident enough to admit another guy is attractive. I mean I'm not attracted to women in general but I can still tell you which ones are attractive and sexy.

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#19

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Cumming quickly. I am honored, sir.

batsicle , Anastasia Shuraeva Report

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Who Panda 420
Who Panda 420
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But it's nice if they finish quickly if they will help you get yours afterwards instead of just laying there.

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#20

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About What you do for a living. I feel like everyone is trying to be their best and if that's minimum wage, that's ok. Nothing sexier than a hard worker with dreams.

[deleted] , Reynardo Etenia Wongso Report

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#21

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Guys shouldn't feel so insecure about they're body shape. You don't have to have big biceps or washboard abs in order for a girl to like you.

Edit: their*

anon , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

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#22

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Being open about what they do/like.
My current boyfriend loves singing but is so shy even though he has an amazing voice.

Lucdreamin , Akshar Dave Report

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The Fabulous Killjoy
The Fabulous Killjoy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When guys sing it’s always amazing. Very attractive and also so amazing when they are so passionate about it

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#23

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About They should stop feeling insecure about showing emotion, especially in a relationship. I know a lot of guys grew up being told that showing emotion was ‘girly’ but honestly when a guy is open about how he is feeling and doesn’t suppress it, it makes everyone feel more secure. When the girl feels like she’s the only one who has real feelings in the relationship then it’s hard to trust the guy, and the guy often feels misunderstood as he isn’t conveying what he wants to. Guys, please know it’s okay to be emotional, you deserve to be honest with the people around you and it makes relationships so much better for everyone involved

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Brenda
Brenda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Refused to marry hubby until he learned to talk about things. He was used to not sharing. Took a while, but it got better. Still have to drag some stuff out of him occasionally but I need to hear about how he feels

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#24

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Living with your parents/being close to your parents. As long as they don't have to do your thinking for you, it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of!

flooperdooper4 , Any Lane Report

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#25

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Apologizing. It builds bridges, it’s not destruction to your ego unless you interpret it that way (so don’t interpret it that way).

cmhaml , Ivan Samkov Report

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$cagsy
$cagsy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As an aside to this, you can also buy flowers for your SO anytime. You don't have to be apologising to be going floral. Plus, men like getting flowers too, I know I do.

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#26

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About About wanting to be the little spoon

klymers Report

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Chucky Cheezburger
Chucky Cheezburger
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont think I've ever been able to be the little spoon. I think I would like it cuz I would feel safe.

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#27

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Don’t feel bad if you don’t always take the lead in a relationship! Those are two way streets, and a lot of girls don’t mind or even enjoy being the one to make the first move or ask you on a date.

Besides that, though, don’t be insecure about being genuine and heartfelt with friends, family, and partners alike. You can say “I love you” to your friends without a “no homo” attached. Being close with your family is endearing. It’s okay to cry.

Just be yourself!

Elrochwen , rayul Report

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#28

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Starbucks barista. Don’t be ashamed of your drink! Pink drink, Frappuccino, chai tea, they’re delicious! And we want you to have a tasty drink!

TinyTinasRabidOtter , Thirteen .J Report

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Rost it
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I want a tasty drink it's not at Starbucks. They have the nastiest coffee on the planet. Bitter burnt and icky.

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#29

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About The flip side of the comments about not being able to grow a beard - guys shouldn't feel insecure about being hairy. I love a hairy chest, and don't find a hairy back or shoulders to be a problem.

Like most things listed here, yeah you'll find women who won't like it, but if they are willing to write you off for something physical that is out of your control, they probably aren't the person for you.

I will say, regardless of anything else, hygiene is important. If you're hairy you might sweat more depending on the climate and how warm you run, but if you shower regularly and keep everything clean, it's all good.

Edit : yes, this includes hairy butts, backs, legs, shoulders, etc. I think the only thing I might ask someone to trim would be crazy nose hair - though that could be disguised by a moustache.

mrskoobra , 20th Century Studios Report

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#30

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Don't be embarrassed to get a Mani/Pedi!

pinkpanda223 , Alexander Yuhchenko Report

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#31

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Guys shouldn't feel insecure about stereotypical masculine standards. You want to do handicrafts like sew or crochet or scrapbook? Great, we can do it together. I suck at them though, so the farthest I'll probably get is watching YouTube tutorials with you. You can wear cute things and accessories like scarves and handbags, hell you can borrow mine. If you need some time to unload emotionally with a bubble bath or a one-on-one afternoon tea about whatever jerk you encountered x days ago, it doesn't mean you're weak or unreliable. It means you know how to handle your emotions in a controlled and healthy way.

justyoaveragecactus , Jon Tyson Report

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Kim Kermes
Kim Kermes
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least through WWII, knitting and crocheting were common among sailors. During the days of sail and years long voyages, they not only mended sails but their own clothes. I'd like to see someone tell a WWII US Navy vet they were a wuss.

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#32

If they have guilty pleasures liking girly pop music. I find it attractive and cute if a guy is confident and comfortable enough with himself to sing along and enjoy "girly" pop songs.

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#33

Glasses!

snow_in_december Report

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#34

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About their hobbies.
i know a lot of drawing and creative guys, but they embarrass. also their friendly attitude to girls. why?? don’t be shy!

ALSO IF YOU LIKE GIRL SAY IT, ADMIIIIIIIIT

coolestkatik , Ryan Ancill Report

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#35

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Guys, you aren't nerds and neckbeards if you play videogames, idk about other females but i love them and the decent ones dont mind

anon , Fausto Sandoval Report

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The Fabulous Killjoy
The Fabulous Killjoy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a thing for guys who play video games. They are skilled and talented people. And if you nerd out about certain games that’s even better

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#36

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Opening up to people

retropretty , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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Who Panda 420
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very attractive. As long as you're being honest to me it's a sign of building trust.

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#37

Women Reassure Men They Don't Actually Care About These 30 Silly Things Men Are So Often Insecure About Chest hair. My husband is a gorilla and it's hot. But he's insecure. Always wears undershirts to keep it from showing, but he can take me anytime. He doesn't need to hide it.

anon , Ben Weber Report

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#38

Not wanting to be sexually dominant.

somerandomgamer0 Report

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Chucky Cheezburger
Chucky Cheezburger
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. It can get tiresome after awhile. I tell my wife that one of the hottest things she could ever do was put my head in a scissor lock and tell me to take care of business. For some reason, she doesn't believe me.🤷🏼‍♂️

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