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Women Share Moments Men Intimidated Them Probably Without Even Being Aware Of It (42 Stories)
Women live in fear. Whether they're walking home from work in the dark or someone likes every single photo with their face on Instagram in 2 minutes, it usually isn't paralyzing but it's there. And men are the biggest contributors to it.
Recently, Reddit user Honnung posted a question on the platform: "Women of Reddit, what are the things men do that scare you but they don't realize it?"
Many responded, sharing candid stories from their everyday lives.
The answers they have provided might also explain why women develop social anxiety disorder (SAD) nearly twice as often as men. Here are some of the most-upvoted ones.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
When I say I don't like something — like something he said, or did, or joked about — and he says 'you secretly like it :).' That makes my skin crawl and alarm bells start going off. Don't tell women what they like.
Jarno Flinkers 3 years ago
As a man I can say this is an enormous red flag. It's a lack of boundaries in my opinion.
Interestingly, this post was actually a preparation for a speech Honnung needed for school. "My friends and I have spoken about the subject many times and thought nothing of it," the Reddit user told Bored Panda. "When I later talked to my boyfriend, he admitted that he and his friends never really thought about it. I have personally been in many situations where men do things that freak me out and I wanted to see what experiences other women have; plus it would be good for men to hear the thoughts we don't really say out loud."
Since releasing the post, Honnung has realized that a lot of women have the same experiences and fears and that this is a really serious topic. They've also learned that many people, especially men, get offended by the fact that women are afraid of seemingly unimportant things. "There were a lot of fights in the comments between men trying to justify their actions and women holding them accountable. I thought it was just a matter of ignorance but I see now there are a lot of people who just straight up refuse to listen."
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#2
Blocking my path or physically holding me in place if they are not done talking to me. Basically, using their strength or size to restrict my motion in any way
Jarno Flinkers 3 years ago
I have witnessed something like this and knocked the guy out cold. Got smacked in the face by the girl with the bruises on her arm.
According to Jodi Lane, a University of Florida sociology professor, such fears are especially common in women who are domestically abused—if they’re hurt by men they love, they're afraid strangers could hurt them, too. But there are other reasons why women live with more fear than men do.
First, women are scared any crime could lead to rape. "The fear of sexual assault is shadowing every other fear," Lane pointed out. Men are not nearly as likely to be raped as women.
Second, women are physically weaker than men. Women fear they can’t fight off an attacker, especially as they get older.
Third, women are socialized to be afraid. "All the things parents tell their children socialize them that they should be responsible for their own safety," Lane explained. "We socialize girls to be terrified. We socialize boys to be tough."
#3
Telling women to smile
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Sorry my smile doesnt work when I'm around controllers. I'm sure I'll smile when you're gone
Honnung believes that the matter of being scared is a little complicated. "I am almost sure that the fear has grown since the Internet became a thing. Women share experiences; stories about men getting into their cars, onto balconies, videos of men just harassing women on the street. And for some, this might just be a quick video you see on Instagram but for many, this is a big warning for what's out there in the world," the Reddit user said. "'And even if this one man won't try to attack me in the street at night, the next one might. Or the next one.' You never know so you generalize and fear everyone."
However, the author of the post thinks that with every generation, the relation between men and women is improving. "We talk more openly and the correct use of the Internet (like with this post) can give women a chance to talk in a (mostly) safe space and a chance for men to listen. For the most part, [it looks like people are ceasing to brush it off] as just 'something that happens' which is a big step in the right direction."
At the end of their speech, Honnung said something Jodi Lane would have really liked: "We have to, instead of just teaching our daughters to be afraid of the world, teach our sons how they can make it safer."
#4
Touching you in any way without permission, even if it seems harmless to you. Unfortunately that happens rather often in retail. Don't touch my shoulder when you talk to me. Don't stroke my hair. Don't caress my hand when you give me your money. Don't touch my ass or my boobs or anything at all! Please respect my personal space. It freaks me out when male strangers come near me and touch me in any way
#5
Thinking 'no' isn't the final answer. Believing that with a little more convincing, I'll say yes. It makes me believe you don't respect me and worries me about how far you will go after I say no.
#6
Any time someone tries really hard to convince me he's a 'nice guy.' Every guy I've met that desperately brings it up every chance he gets isn't usually very nice. It always makes me wonder, what are they trying to hide? Like why do I have to think you're nice? Prove it with your actions, don't tell me repeatedly
#7
Parking right next to my car in a dark and/or empty parking lot. I've had this conversation with several girlfriends, but when I've mentioned it to men they had no idea about what goes through our mind when we see that
#8
Breaking or hitting things out of anger
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
I had to tell my ex one too many times that I obviously can’t fight him so he should stop approaching me with fighting words and stances. That was the most unattractive thing ever. Fûck did he think I was going to do? Brawl with him? So glad I’m free of that dead weight.
#9
Standing too close. Even without covid, social distancing is a thing. Stay out of my personal space
#10
Catcalling
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Yes! Its just uncomfortable and objectifying at best, intimidating at its worst.
#11
Night out in the pub, there will always be one guy commenting that I haven't drunk much. 'Oh you're still on your first glass of wine. You drink slow. Why aren't you drinking' etc.
Why are you counting my drinks? Creepy as f***!
#12
'Jokingly' using your strength to move me or keep me from moving. If I want to go home and you’re pulling me back, I am not actually going along with it. You are stronger than I am and I literally cannot leave
#13
Following you to your car to get your number. Don't. Ever. Do. That.
#14
I had a guy come into the store I worked at and leave within ten minutes. Not even 5 minutes after he left, he had searched me up on Instagram and messaged me, as well as all other social media. He didn’t have my last name and literally sat in the parking lot to search me up and message me. And then he came into the store a lot more to learn what shifts I worked and was ALWAYS THERE. That’s not endearing or cool, it’s creepy and makes me not want to go to work anymore
#15
Hitting on you in locations where you cannot escape (enclosed places like elevators, or workplaces)
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
Oof. Or when they box you in, like putting one arm against the wall in is intimidating it's like ur potential escape is blocked
#16
Approaching me when I obviously don't want to be approached ie. I have headphones on, I'm on my phone, I'm reading or pretty much any other universal signal of 'I don't want to be disturbed'
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
Or sitting on a beach watching hubby and the kids playing in the water.
#17
While talking online when I say, 'I don't know about meeting up,' and their response is, 'You are more likely to be [sexually harassed] by someone you actually know in person.' Yup...Not meeting up now
#18
Standing in doorways or blocking exits
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
That's when I'm ready to press call for the police, and working out how I need to keep safe until I can get out (ie do I need to be aggressive, calm but firm, play along til I'm safe, scream, call police? Which one won't get me killed today)
#19
Flirting is fun so long as you don't 'flirt' by asking me where I live, and if I live alone, and if I know people in the area. If you want to chat, flirt, get to know me? Don't start with the questions that set off alarm bells in my head
#20
Putting your arm on top of my shoulder and around close to my throat. It scares the heck out of me and every other lady I have talked to.
#21
Messaging you on a dating app, commenting that they found your profile and that they are in the same location as you — they can see you, but you can't see them. I had a guy do this on a fully packed train I was on to go to work. I'm not an anxious person, but it felt really uncomfortable
#22
Trying to sleep with me when I am very obviously not interested. When I confront them, they just say, "Can't blame a guy for trying." WTF.
BonnyDK 3 years ago (edited)
Or call you stuck up for not being thrilled that they are trying to come on to you. Really? When I was younger guys came on to me all the time. I just thought oh the 10th guy this evening. Just get in line behind the others... the chemistry is either there or it isn't. And for God's sake the FB section on do you know this person is not a dating app!!! If I say I'm happily married don't try to just talk to me to be my friend. I'm off the market. I'm not going to chat up strange men online while my husband is sitting next to me on the couch.
#23
Driving really aggressively and having road rage. When I was younger and dating, I had so many experiences as a passenger with young guys who were otherwise normal but really intense and scary when they got behind the wheel. It always seemed like a red flag
Jo Choto 3 years ago
I was once in a really horrific car accident with a double blowout. The car started veering suddenly on the road, and that sensation of veering became part of a severe anxiety/PTSD that affects me in cars to this day. I shared this with a boyfriend, because he wanted to know why I was such a nervous passenger. His response was to drive and then start going faster and faster and then swerve the car as though we were going to crash into a barrier. I was hyperventilating, panicking, crying. He didn't understand why I couldn't just see what a funny joke it was. Sadly it took me more months and more red flags to realize I needed to get the hell away from him, but I did eventually.
#24
I've been approached several times in public by random men who say they want to be friends with me. One leaned in really close to have a conversation and asked me where I was from and where I live. Another grabbed my hands and remarked on how soft my skin is. Another one literally locked arms with me and dragged me to a coffee shop to 'get to know me' and then later told me to come with him to a more private place for a view of the city
Sergy Yeltsen 3 years ago
Revolting. The sort of behaviour I'd expect from a backwards, misogynistic culture.
#25
Slow down their car when I’m walking. Dude, check your phone down the street. Not pulled up next to a woman walking alone. Infuriates me how few men even think of how that looks
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
I agree for the most part but if someone is receiving a phone call when they are driving, they often won’t pay attention to other surroundings besides the road as they pull over to answer the phone. Could be the only place to pull over for a while, or where they live. I don’t think there is a way of actually knowing but we can’t stop men doing everything.
#26
Common female discussion - Unsolicited nudie pics. Equivalent to those creeps who hide behind the bushes trying to flash you. People need to realize 1 in 4 women have had some kind of [sexuall harassment]. Save it for your partner. Or risk getting blasted or viewed as a weirdo perv.
Casey McAlister 3 years ago
That makes me annoyed and disgusted, not scared. I'm not afraid of someone's pathetic junk.
#27
When a guy won't give up. He doesn't even have to be physically present. Being an adamant d**k over text is enough to terrorize you sometimes
#28
Wanting to go to a secluded location if I don't know you well. Men on Tinder suggest going on hikes or taking a walk after dinner on first dates. Doesn't even cross their minds that I would not want to be alone with them on a date
#29
Raising their voice in anger. Even if it isn't directed at me. Triggers a flight response. An obvious one I know but I think some men have no idea how scary that is. Also grabbing or hugging me from behind as a surprise. Solid way to trigger a panic attack
Computernaut 3 years ago (edited)
99% of people raise their voice when angry. It's kind of supposed to be scary.
#30
The complete inability to see an idea or situation from a woman's perspective. Instantly getting defensive when you mention something men do makes you uncomfortable. "But, but I don't do that!!!" Ok cool, but can you see his this might make someone half your size feel??
Whenever a guy does this I realize they have a serious empathy problem and makes me not want to be around them. What happens if they lose their temper, are intoxicated, etc so their inhibitions are even lower?
No thanks, not worth the risk. Also, I try not to spend time with closed-minded people so that automatically rules them out of my friend group
WhatEvenIsLife 3 years ago
The "but I don't do that" also ignores the point, which is that there are underlying attitudes, biases, and cultural conditioning that mean a lot of men are not only doing these things, but they don't even seem to realize the things they're doing aren't okay. The "not all men" argument completely disregards that toxic masculinity is a pervasive, systemic issue, not "a few bad apples." If it were just a few bad apples, every single solitary woman I've ever spoken to wouldn't have an entire scroll of creepy/scary past encounters with men.
#31
Once a guy made new social media accounts to search me up after I blocked him, THREE TIMES
I don’t know what he thought would happen by just keep trying. Like I would just go “I love how you stalk me and keep shooting your shot after I’ve blocked you several times! Marry me”??
Eva the Egg 3 years ago
Can't believe they would be so desperate to make a new social media account just to search you up, disgusting
#32
Uber or lyft drivers who ask me if they're driving me home. You don't need to know that!
Nomadus Aureus 3 years ago
Uber drivers who abuse the child lock... Can't tell you how many times I've been sitting there, locked in a car with drivers asking for my number, telling me they'll let me out once they have verified that I gave them my real number .
#33
Strangers complimenting me on my body really freaks me out. I also don't like people commenting on my hair, but that's because I'm ginger and I get a lot of sexualized comments
BonnyDK 3 years ago (edited)
I've had guys just want to touch my long hair including a dr I was seeing. He said he loved my red hair and asked if he could touch it. I have brown hair. Not red in the least. I had the receptionist tell his wife. How inappropriate. He retired after that.
Sista of the moon 3 years ago
I am a read head, and I am not really at the “dating age” yet (I’m 12) but, I have had a lot of people comment on my hair. All the time. Please, don’t do it. I don’t think people realize how creepy it really is, stop.
Carrie de Luka 3 years ago
As a blonde I get a lot of questions about does the carpet match the drapes. It is so offensive. I've had it shouted at me, asked in casual conversation, notes left on my car. Fed up with it.
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Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago (edited)
This one is so common and when you tell them to back off they always act like you’re some dumb, stuck up, self absorbed bítch for not accepting their weak compliments. Bïtch, you are only complimenting me because you want to fück. Stop acting like it’s an innocent compliment. I know an innocent compliment when I hear one.
Jane Petersen 3 years ago
I have a friend (AAPI) that had one of our male coworkers (white guy) literally get mad at her because she cut her hair off to donate to kids having cancer treatment without ASKING HIM FIRST - He said he would have bought it to MAKE A PILLOW OUT OF IT 😬 oy
Nia Loves Art 3 years ago
Do people mind if it’s another woman doing it? I think red hair is really pretty and I often make positive comments that in my experience people seem to appreciate.
Carrie de Luka 3 years ago (edited)
I personally still don't want to hear it. Some people might like it, true. Though just because it's from another woman doesn't mean it's not sexualised. Compliment your friends, they'll know your intention. Also, lets stop making looks so important. It's who we are and what we do, not what we look like. If people are getting validation because of compliments from random strangers than their self esteem probably has issues anyway. This is just my own opinion of course. Others will no doubt feel that compliments from random strangers somehow matter, even though our looks are accidents of nature and no achievement of our own.
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Kels_the_Mels 3 years ago
I will never for the life of me understand WHY Europeans have a thing about redheads. We straight up DO NOT CARE in the US.
Δημήτρης Ανδρέου 3 years ago
Only ugly or low income strangers... Rich chads are always welcome
Caitlin Holcomb 3 years ago
I don't know if this comes off weird and sorry if it does but I think gingers have the most beautiful hair ever, i compliment gingers alot is that weird/creepy?
DetongLhamo 3 years ago
I have the same issue with men and their infantile breast fixation. I’d have them cut off if I could afford it.
#34
Getting really intense about our relationship/ friendship really early on. A lot of guys turn women into this kind of fantasy thing that’s supposed to make them whole/ help them change or whatever. Sir I am the main character in my own life, not just a supporting one in yours. When you put that pressure on me right away abs without reciprocation, I know that I don’t actually matter, you’ve been taught that women serve you
#35
Meeting me at my job and asking for my work schedule so they can 'see me more often'
BonnyDK 3 years ago
I had a guy from a singles group at church want to volunteer at my school where I taught. Not going to happen. I asked him if he had kids that went there. He didn't. I told him they are not going to let you in the door.....so many really awkward stuff going on there. Not someone I was interested in any shape or form to begin with.
#36
Staring. OHMYGOD THE STARING. It’s not cute, it’s not attractive, I don’t know you like that
Foxxy (The Original) 3 years ago (edited)
Staring from anyone is unsettling, although I must admit that I have stared into space in the direction of individuals. And just my luck that when I realise whats happening, at the same time the person notices me staring their way. So embarrassing.
#37
Calling women beautiful as much as possible. Once or twice is nice, if you know them, but if you don't know the guy and he says it too much, it freaks me out
I want cake 3 years ago
It makes me think that he's only interested in me for how I look on his arm, and not for my intelligence or companionship. Unfortunately I fell for it once and the guy barely knew me by the time we broke up nearly two years later. He'd tell everyone we met that I'd lived in Africa, but then he'd tell me stop the excuses when I didn't understand an unwritten rule because I grew up in freaking Africa (multiple countries), not Europe.
#38
Feel up on you and go "I'm kiddiiiiiiiingg" and do it again
I want cake 3 years ago (edited)
Had a colleague do that to me while I was carrying a tray full of drinks through an art trade fair on opening day, he grabbed my butt as he walked past me. This was after he'd been 'flirting' with me for weeks, even though he knew I had a bofriend, which only made him ask rude questions about what we got up to in the bedroom, and getting management to put me on his team every single shift. I had to threaten to get him fired to make him stop.
#39
Asking for way too much information. Where I live, who I live with, where I work, what hours I work, Nearly wanting a schedule of my life in order to schedule a date.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
Again, women need to be able to cut these conversations off at the start. After the first inappropriate or overly-personal question, they should be confident in saying, "Please stop asking me questions. I don't want to talk to you," and then you stop talking and stop listening. Doesn't matter if you're at work. You tell coworkers you are having a problem. Someone else asks them to leave.
#40
Matching my speed while driving to look in and stare at me
#41
Calling me "sweet" pet-names like "honey" and "sweetheart" in a normal conversation (like at the shopping counter or anywhere else I ask a question or mention something). Most of the time they don't even realize that they start with that and I'm annoyed at it but for some reason it freaks me out when they call me that and I don't know them. IDK why
#42
Liking every single picture with my face on Instagram in a period of two minutes
Shirley Heyn 3 years ago
My sister does that, it's irritating. She does it whether it is a good or bad post, whether she agrees or not with the content.
What do you think ?
Niffler_13 3 years ago
As a woman, I feel like a lot of these can be applied to both men and women. There have been plenty of times I have been made uncomfortable by other women, especially in college. Don't be an a**hole to people. The End.
Dave P 3 years ago
oh yeah, plenty of stalky and creepy women on many of these as well
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Jarno Flinkers 3 years ago
As a man this list is sort of a wake up call. No, I don't act like a creeper, no I don't disrespect women. Yes, I have done some things on this list, like asking a woman to smile and hitting on one in an elevator (while I was younger, but still). But I mean a walk up call in how to help women who feel uneasy or even unsafe. This one's a manual how to read a room and act on the ones being weird.
Druth Vlodovic 3 years ago
The elevator thing is a bit two sided. On one hand it is an isolated place that is hard to get away from. On the other I have had many brief conversations with strangers in one since it is a place where you are suddenly in close proximity to others and we are all standing around doing nothing. Haven't asked anyone out in one, I'd probably wait until we were disembarking.
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Casey McAlister 3 years ago
They lumped together genuinely creepy things with mildly annoying moments. Yeah, men often act like total trash, but this post makes it look like women are in the constant state of panic. Most women I know are bold and confident, we aren't afraid of every shadow.
Aunt Messy 3 years ago
These are not "mildly" creepy. They're threatening and scary. Grow up and just don't do stuff like this.
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Demon Child 3 years ago
Why do punished Edward and uncle trash hate each other? they should get together, I think they would get along. They are both creepy, weird, and out of touch❤️
fuggnuggins 3 years ago
This site is just f*****g tiresome. Enough burdens in life without this s**t.
Mimi M 3 years ago
A) Respect. B) Inquiring what we want, not assuming. C) Listening to what we say and honoring it.
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fenixrising1972 3 years ago
Once I had a first date at a bookstore/cafe and I really liked the guy and we were having a good time and getting along great. After about an hour he said he wanted to show me a place, so I said I would follow him in my car. He asked why I wouldn't go in his car and I just said something like "I have to get up early and I might want to leave before you do." He argued with me and kept trying to convince me to go in his car. He made it clear that he was irritated and offended and it ruined the whole date. I'm sure he was harmless and just had a problem understanding women's safety issues. Since then I've had a rule that "No" is a complete sentence and I will no longer explain or defend any decisions I make on a date. Guys who argue or push back are either clueless or dangerous.
Janka Janka 3 years ago (edited)
Hate to be Schrodinger's woman. When someone call me 'Hey you are so pretty ,' and afterwards 'Hey, you're not interested? Actually you're ugly as hell!'
Heliocracy 3 years ago
Hate to say it, but a lot of this discomfort seems to be lessened if the guy is super hot. Just my observation. I'm long-time married BTW so I'm not coming from some angry incel space.
I want cake 3 years ago
I personally find it extra creepy when the guy is super hot. Mainly because I know he's probably used to women falling over themselves to please him and may not take kindly to being turned down.
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Aj Grimes (they/it/she/he) 3 years ago
So I have a story. One day I was playing an online game, and this random man was hitting on me. He said to me " I can make you like men." I was a lesbian at the time and I didn't like it. He also asked me for my phone number, my age, and where I live. This man was a total stranger and I could not see his face. That is just creepy for men to hit on little kids. Also, he told me men have their ways to date a lesbian, and that he could get to me.
GeneralZod 3 years ago
Don't use my size to make me feel threatened. As an incredibly short woman, I've heard many variations of "Oh you are so tiny, I could put you in a suitcase". It's not a compliment to know you could dispose of my murdered body without much effort.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
We absolutely need to be raising boys and educating men to stop these behaviors, but we also need to train girls and women to have the confidence to shut a lot of this s**t down immediately and definitively. Women are conditioned to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings, so they tolerate inappropriate behaviors. Wish I could teach a class to help girls and women find their voices.
Luke Oakridge 3 years ago
Most of the things on this list are also things that women will sometimes do as well.
Random Anon 3 years ago
Some people are just creepy. I decided to drive to work years ago rather than the train exactly because of these. I am a dude but I look like a women because of my build. Almost every other day I get idiots standing so close I can feel their breath on my hair, or brushing their arm on my body when there is ample space in the car or the most annoying one, "accidentally" grabbing my hand on the handle rails/pole.
Jill Bussey 3 years ago
I think women should trust their instincts more. If you're uncomfortable with the situation, remove yourself from it. You may not always need to do it in the same way, but get the heck out!
jdtimid123 1 year ago
I agree, a lot of these aren't super intimidating to the majority, but are rude. Like telling women to smile. The slowing down to text next to a woman thing is just dumb. He probably doesn't even know you're there if he isn't even looking at you. Buuuut he also should not be texting and driving.
Lyone Fein 3 years ago
Honestly, I think that men tend to man spread psychology wherever they are without realizing it. So, yes, this is both invasive and threatening most of the time.
Kimberly Brown 3 years ago
“Can I come over? C’mon, I just want to give you a massage -or- make you dinner -or- bring you a present” Or anything that appears to be innocuous, but leads to trying to get in your pants.
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
I can agree to some degree with all of these except #5. Unless you see them park there,how do you know who it is? It sounds like the problem is any car that's parked too close, not because a man was driving it. If your parking under a light, maybe they parked there for the same reason...Security.
Paul Budhram 3 years ago
Seeing that loads of these happen unknowingly, I'm kinda scared that I might become like some of these... though I know I can't act creepy... but then again... *sigh*
Lsai Aeon 3 years ago
I see a lot saying "They are so much bigger and stronger than me" Get up off your ass and remedy that. I live in a wheelchair, I'm shorter/smaller than almost everyone I meet. I know how to defend myself. If you feel threatened by anyone and everyone that is "bigger" than you, you need to sign up for a self defence course or 2. Don't just sit there and whine about it
Kristy Nelson 3 years ago
Also, when I used to have to wear a name tag and someone would use my name like they knew me. I would flip it over when it got late.
Dave 3 years ago (edited)
I totally understand where these ladies are coming from. I actually do. I do my best to be a respectful decent human being in relations to my opposite gender and I am mindful of the boundaries. More to the point, to avoid some misunderstanding and false accusations because the woman in question has some bad experiences, and is at times a bit paranoid. However, the thing is. Judging by these posts, the only way for women to feel comfortable is for men to walk on eggshells, which I will not do. I know myself and I know I would not harm or disrespect boundaries in any shape or form and if some woman is threatened by the fact how I look even when I am minding my own business and I happen to be in proximity, still minding my business, well then that is her problem and she needs to deal with hear fears. Mind you, many of the examples fall under Narcissistic psychopathy and are out there and not isolated to men alone. I have had the misfortune to deal with a few female counterparts described in these posts.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
These things can be scary but a lot of them are just fücking common and pathetic. Many are reasons to laugh in their faces and insult them rather than run and hide. Although there are plenty of run and hide situations described here as well. Prepare yourselves, post-covid summer is coming.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
While I agree you can laugh and insult, you can do so only in certain circumstances. Some people, once insulted, will make it a life mission to hunt the person who insulted them.
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Luca Giordano 3 years ago
most of these are super creepy! some of these could be born out of insecurity...saying someone is beautiful too often or trying to be a galant young man and escorting the lady to her car could also just be friendly caring behaviour. Perhaps somewhat overbearing or insecure or otherwise clumsy. I know we live in a dangerous world but there is something to be said for allowing clumsiness in the dating world. Having all said that, the creepyness is usually a combination of signals and not one clumsy insecure action.
Vincent Philippart 3 years ago
Hey BoredPanda, since you've published five articles in the last ten days about how women are scared of men, how about other gender related issues as well? How about "men are 4 times more likely to die by suicide, here's why" or "Men of Reddit react to this shocking stat: 70% of all violent crime victims are men". You know, just to prove this isn't just about painting men as predators.
What's In Your Head? 3 years ago
Okay, I'm seriously done with the whole "woman being opressed/threatened by men because" aWaReNeSs... Yes, I am a woman. And yes, I have encountered many of these things. And yes, I get scared too. But do we really need to make it an overhyped subject? This is part of life, I don't think this will ever change. And no, I am not saying that it's okay or that women are at fault for this, but I am saying that women and men are fundamentally different, that's just nature. I'm kind of sick of this "feminist uprising". But have fun with it, by all means! I'm looking forward to get downvoted into oblivion. :-D
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
"This is part of life, I don't think this will ever change".....I wonder how many women used to say that when they couldnt vote, or have bank accounts, or own property. Just because thats the way it is right now doesnt mean its right. And if we dont talk about it, you're quite right it wont ever change.
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Computernaut 3 years ago
I hate how many of these are women telling about an experience with some creep and then asking men to not do that, as if they don't realize that 99% of men don't do that.
Chris Jones 3 years ago
Firstly, don't see anyone saying all men do. Secondly, no way can it be 99% of men who don't. It is far too frequent and far too much of a problem on a daily basis for most women. It's a mix of issues, lack of understanding, thoughtlessness, as well as deliberate actions that are absolutely out of order. You might not do it but there are too many who just don't get it.
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Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
(Repeat post)2 weeks ago, toxic women post: https://www.boredpanda.com/cringey-girls-messages/ The same week, a post on toxic masculinity: https://www.boredpanda.com/toxic-masculinity-experience-as-man/
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Lauren Caswell 3 years ago (edited)
(Repeat post)2 weeks ago, toxic women post: https://www.boredpanda.com/cringey-girls-messages/ The same week, a post on toxic masculinity: https://www.boredpanda.com/toxic-masculinity-experience-as-man/
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Niffler_13 3 years ago
As a woman, I feel like a lot of these can be applied to both men and women. There have been plenty of times I have been made uncomfortable by other women, especially in college. Don't be an a**hole to people. The End.
Dave P 3 years ago
oh yeah, plenty of stalky and creepy women on many of these as well
Load More Replies... Jarno Flinkers 3 years ago
As a man this list is sort of a wake up call. No, I don't act like a creeper, no I don't disrespect women. Yes, I have done some things on this list, like asking a woman to smile and hitting on one in an elevator (while I was younger, but still). But I mean a walk up call in how to help women who feel uneasy or even unsafe. This one's a manual how to read a room and act on the ones being weird.
Druth Vlodovic 3 years ago
The elevator thing is a bit two sided. On one hand it is an isolated place that is hard to get away from. On the other I have had many brief conversations with strangers in one since it is a place where you are suddenly in close proximity to others and we are all standing around doing nothing. Haven't asked anyone out in one, I'd probably wait until we were disembarking.
Load More Replies... Casey McAlister 3 years ago
They lumped together genuinely creepy things with mildly annoying moments. Yeah, men often act like total trash, but this post makes it look like women are in the constant state of panic. Most women I know are bold and confident, we aren't afraid of every shadow.
Aunt Messy 3 years ago
These are not "mildly" creepy. They're threatening and scary. Grow up and just don't do stuff like this.
Load More Replies... Demon Child 3 years ago
Why do punished Edward and uncle trash hate each other? they should get together, I think they would get along. They are both creepy, weird, and out of touch❤️
fuggnuggins 3 years ago
This site is just f*****g tiresome. Enough burdens in life without this s**t.
Mimi M 3 years ago
A) Respect. B) Inquiring what we want, not assuming. C) Listening to what we say and honoring it.
Load More Replies... fenixrising1972 3 years ago
Once I had a first date at a bookstore/cafe and I really liked the guy and we were having a good time and getting along great. After about an hour he said he wanted to show me a place, so I said I would follow him in my car. He asked why I wouldn't go in his car and I just said something like "I have to get up early and I might want to leave before you do." He argued with me and kept trying to convince me to go in his car. He made it clear that he was irritated and offended and it ruined the whole date. I'm sure he was harmless and just had a problem understanding women's safety issues. Since then I've had a rule that "No" is a complete sentence and I will no longer explain or defend any decisions I make on a date. Guys who argue or push back are either clueless or dangerous.
Janka Janka 3 years ago (edited)
Hate to be Schrodinger's woman. When someone call me 'Hey you are so pretty ,' and afterwards 'Hey, you're not interested? Actually you're ugly as hell!'
Heliocracy 3 years ago
Hate to say it, but a lot of this discomfort seems to be lessened if the guy is super hot. Just my observation. I'm long-time married BTW so I'm not coming from some angry incel space.
I want cake 3 years ago
I personally find it extra creepy when the guy is super hot. Mainly because I know he's probably used to women falling over themselves to please him and may not take kindly to being turned down.
Load More Replies... Aj Grimes (they/it/she/he) 3 years ago
So I have a story. One day I was playing an online game, and this random man was hitting on me. He said to me " I can make you like men." I was a lesbian at the time and I didn't like it. He also asked me for my phone number, my age, and where I live. This man was a total stranger and I could not see his face. That is just creepy for men to hit on little kids. Also, he told me men have their ways to date a lesbian, and that he could get to me.
GeneralZod 3 years ago
Don't use my size to make me feel threatened. As an incredibly short woman, I've heard many variations of "Oh you are so tiny, I could put you in a suitcase". It's not a compliment to know you could dispose of my murdered body without much effort.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
We absolutely need to be raising boys and educating men to stop these behaviors, but we also need to train girls and women to have the confidence to shut a lot of this s**t down immediately and definitively. Women are conditioned to be polite and not hurt someone's feelings, so they tolerate inappropriate behaviors. Wish I could teach a class to help girls and women find their voices.
Luke Oakridge 3 years ago
Most of the things on this list are also things that women will sometimes do as well.
Random Anon 3 years ago
Some people are just creepy. I decided to drive to work years ago rather than the train exactly because of these. I am a dude but I look like a women because of my build. Almost every other day I get idiots standing so close I can feel their breath on my hair, or brushing their arm on my body when there is ample space in the car or the most annoying one, "accidentally" grabbing my hand on the handle rails/pole.
Jill Bussey 3 years ago
I think women should trust their instincts more. If you're uncomfortable with the situation, remove yourself from it. You may not always need to do it in the same way, but get the heck out!
jdtimid123 1 year ago
I agree, a lot of these aren't super intimidating to the majority, but are rude. Like telling women to smile. The slowing down to text next to a woman thing is just dumb. He probably doesn't even know you're there if he isn't even looking at you. Buuuut he also should not be texting and driving.
Lyone Fein 3 years ago
Honestly, I think that men tend to man spread psychology wherever they are without realizing it. So, yes, this is both invasive and threatening most of the time.
Kimberly Brown 3 years ago
“Can I come over? C’mon, I just want to give you a massage -or- make you dinner -or- bring you a present” Or anything that appears to be innocuous, but leads to trying to get in your pants.
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
I can agree to some degree with all of these except #5. Unless you see them park there,how do you know who it is? It sounds like the problem is any car that's parked too close, not because a man was driving it. If your parking under a light, maybe they parked there for the same reason...Security.
Paul Budhram 3 years ago
Seeing that loads of these happen unknowingly, I'm kinda scared that I might become like some of these... though I know I can't act creepy... but then again... *sigh*
Lsai Aeon 3 years ago
I see a lot saying "They are so much bigger and stronger than me" Get up off your ass and remedy that. I live in a wheelchair, I'm shorter/smaller than almost everyone I meet. I know how to defend myself. If you feel threatened by anyone and everyone that is "bigger" than you, you need to sign up for a self defence course or 2. Don't just sit there and whine about it
Kristy Nelson 3 years ago
Also, when I used to have to wear a name tag and someone would use my name like they knew me. I would flip it over when it got late.
Dave 3 years ago (edited)
I totally understand where these ladies are coming from. I actually do. I do my best to be a respectful decent human being in relations to my opposite gender and I am mindful of the boundaries. More to the point, to avoid some misunderstanding and false accusations because the woman in question has some bad experiences, and is at times a bit paranoid. However, the thing is. Judging by these posts, the only way for women to feel comfortable is for men to walk on eggshells, which I will not do. I know myself and I know I would not harm or disrespect boundaries in any shape or form and if some woman is threatened by the fact how I look even when I am minding my own business and I happen to be in proximity, still minding my business, well then that is her problem and she needs to deal with hear fears. Mind you, many of the examples fall under Narcissistic psychopathy and are out there and not isolated to men alone. I have had the misfortune to deal with a few female counterparts described in these posts.
Mewton’s Third Paw 3 years ago
These things can be scary but a lot of them are just fücking common and pathetic. Many are reasons to laugh in their faces and insult them rather than run and hide. Although there are plenty of run and hide situations described here as well. Prepare yourselves, post-covid summer is coming.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
While I agree you can laugh and insult, you can do so only in certain circumstances. Some people, once insulted, will make it a life mission to hunt the person who insulted them.
Load More Replies... Luca Giordano 3 years ago
most of these are super creepy! some of these could be born out of insecurity...saying someone is beautiful too often or trying to be a galant young man and escorting the lady to her car could also just be friendly caring behaviour. Perhaps somewhat overbearing or insecure or otherwise clumsy. I know we live in a dangerous world but there is something to be said for allowing clumsiness in the dating world. Having all said that, the creepyness is usually a combination of signals and not one clumsy insecure action.
Vincent Philippart 3 years ago
Hey BoredPanda, since you've published five articles in the last ten days about how women are scared of men, how about other gender related issues as well? How about "men are 4 times more likely to die by suicide, here's why" or "Men of Reddit react to this shocking stat: 70% of all violent crime victims are men". You know, just to prove this isn't just about painting men as predators.
What's In Your Head? 3 years ago
Okay, I'm seriously done with the whole "woman being opressed/threatened by men because" aWaReNeSs... Yes, I am a woman. And yes, I have encountered many of these things. And yes, I get scared too. But do we really need to make it an overhyped subject? This is part of life, I don't think this will ever change. And no, I am not saying that it's okay or that women are at fault for this, but I am saying that women and men are fundamentally different, that's just nature. I'm kind of sick of this "feminist uprising". But have fun with it, by all means! I'm looking forward to get downvoted into oblivion. :-D
Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
"This is part of life, I don't think this will ever change".....I wonder how many women used to say that when they couldnt vote, or have bank accounts, or own property. Just because thats the way it is right now doesnt mean its right. And if we dont talk about it, you're quite right it wont ever change.
Load More Replies... Computernaut 3 years ago
I hate how many of these are women telling about an experience with some creep and then asking men to not do that, as if they don't realize that 99% of men don't do that.
Chris Jones 3 years ago
Firstly, don't see anyone saying all men do. Secondly, no way can it be 99% of men who don't. It is far too frequent and far too much of a problem on a daily basis for most women. It's a mix of issues, lack of understanding, thoughtlessness, as well as deliberate actions that are absolutely out of order. You might not do it but there are too many who just don't get it.
Load More Replies... Lauren Caswell 3 years ago
(Repeat post)2 weeks ago, toxic women post: https://www.boredpanda.com/cringey-girls-messages/ The same week, a post on toxic masculinity: https://www.boredpanda.com/toxic-masculinity-experience-as-man/
Load More Replies... Lauren Caswell 3 years ago (edited)
(Repeat post)2 weeks ago, toxic women post: https://www.boredpanda.com/cringey-girls-messages/ The same week, a post on toxic masculinity: https://www.boredpanda.com/toxic-masculinity-experience-as-man/
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