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“I Started Writing Compliments To Myself”: 55 Tricks That Improved People’s Mental Health
There is an ocean of advice for one's physical health. If you want to lose weight or grow muscles, there are thousands of books, experts and websites to check out. But mental health can be a bit more tricky.
Someone asked netizens “What massively improved your mental health?” and people shared their best suggestions. From internalizing some important ideas to impactful lifestyle changes, get comfortable as you read through, perhaps take some notes and be sure to share your own ideas in the comments section below.
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#1
When I stopped being in a hurry. Urgency is a trauma response and with current American culture focused on everything happening immediately, it's easy to lose yourself to being in a hurry.
Samuel Pelatan 6 months ago
Still working on that. It's really hard to tell yourself you are worth living even if you are not being productive right now.
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#2
Leaving a toxic work environment.
Elaine Van Zon 6 months ago
Absolutely this! I retired early due to mental health issues and since I've been out of that environment I've never been happier. Poor but happy 😁. I'm even coming off my antidepressants.
#3
I rescued a dog.
#4
If only I'd realized this in my teens. People severely undererstimate what a tremendous impact sleep has on your day, productivity, mood...etc.
ZGutr 6 months ago
I did lots of sports as a teenager. Had a coach point that one out frequently and so I learned that at the time. Learned to turn in early, how to relax and fall asleep. Never got rid of the habit either. My wife envies my capability of just deciding I'm gonna sleep and be asleep in less than 5 min.
#5
Removing toxic people from my life. It's amazing how much your mental health can improve just by removing someone who brings nothing but negativity to your life.
#6
Stopped watching the news altogether.
keyboardtek 6 months ago
The point of the news media is to get people riled up. News anchors learn how to talk so everything sounds serious and ominous. They could narrate a kids birthday party and make it sound like a catastrophe. Most of the news is slanted anyways and leaves out important details.
#7
Stopped drinking alcohol. 757 days sober. Life changing.
#8
Exercise. Every single day (and outdoors for me, wherever possible). I coupled it with giving up alcohol (a couple of years back) and cutting out sugary c**p. Massive improvement both physically and mentally. Bad diet and sedentary life styles are incredibly destructive. Now in my mid 50s, I look better than my mid 40s and there isn't any magic to how to do it (beyond "yes, it is OK to feel hungry").
keyboardtek 6 months ago
I still had acne at age 26. An alternative doctor had me eliminate all sources of sugar, even fruit. In two months my acne was gone, my energy level was way up, even my chronic sinus problems vanished.
#9
Learning to love myself. A few years ago, I was in a very low spot with my self esteem, and I wanted to be better. My therapist and I talked a lot about treating myself like I would a friend. It sounds cheesy, but I started writing compliments to myself on post it notes in the morning and placing them on a mirror. It didn’t take too long before I started to believe them. It’s amazing how being nice to yourself and giving yourself grace can really improve your mental health.
#10
Creating. Especially making something with my hands
Also some fiction to follow. Tv show/books
Pets.
#11
Hey OP. 48 year old married father of two in the UK here.
I’ll split it into two sections. The first is a well-worn path, but it works. The second is an embarrassing wade into the domain of ***“No S**T, Sherlock”***
**SECTION 1 - The Proven Methods**
- Admitting that I had a problem. This came when I was around 45. I admitted that feeling constantly empty, tearful and hopeless wasn’t sustainable
- Seeking professional help - which resulted in points below:
- Medication - took the sharpest part of the edge off the feelings I described above and allowed me to “get my head above water” emotionally
- Therapy - this has been a core part of recovery. I have learned my core values and how I live to them. That makes me feel 100% me. I have also been able to understand, identify and manage faulty or destructive thoughts processes (this one requires effort and perseverance)
**SECTION 2 - No S**T, Sherlock**
- I stopped drinking booze. I’d regularly drink until I had a hangover the next day, usually at weekends
- Since I’ve stopped drinking, it genuinely feels like I’m playing life on easy mode
- Shoutout to r/stopdrinking
So, yeah, that’s me. I’m a different man to who I was five years ago. I’d recommend the journey to anyone.
#13
Keeping my surroundings clean and organized. I'm not saying you gotta be able to eat off the carpet (although that's god tier s**t) but keeping everything tidy, and in its place will help a whole lot.
keyboardtek 6 months ago
I used to be a disorganized person. Then I bought a repair shop and leaned how important it was to organize everything so one can find it every time one needed something.
#15
Getting fired for refusing to sign a document that contained false information. As traumatic as being fired for the first time at 48 was it led to some remarkable events in my life. I have a stronger relationship with my SO and my family now and I have also experienced a lengthy period of personal growth. I stood my ground, lost my job, and reaped benefits much more valuable than money.
#16
Becoming very mindful of the media I consume (tv shows, movies, etc.). I no longer watch anything that isn’t upbeat and it has really changed how I feel.
#18
De-emphasizing the importance of my every thought. Most human thoughts are nonsense. I question every single negative thought, and every single one so far has turned out to be b******t. No joke. It’s a game-changer.
Edit: I feel compelled to add that I came to this practice by reading Eckhart Tolle and Byron Katie,mostly. Both reference great spiritual leaders throughout human history (Jesus, Lao Tzu, The Buddha, Ramana Maharshi) who all point to this notion as a path to end suffering. There are many contemporary writers who also point to the same truths (some mentioned here).
Suffering is optional.
Edit 2: I am thrilled this comment made it to the top of this thread. For those who know, be generous in this advice. Humanity depends on it.
Edit 3: Lots of folks asking what books I would recommend. The short answer is that you cannot choose incorrectly. Also, it all depends of where you are and what grabs you. But, in my opinion The Power of Now by Tolle is a great intro to his work. A Mind at Home with Itself by Byron Katie is what Im reading now for the second time so I suppose I would recommend that. But, truly, read descriptions and pick what pulls!
keyboardtek 6 months ago
Cognitive Therapy: teaches one how to recognize wrong thinking habits. It made me understand most of how I thought was simply incorrect and not accurate about my reality.
#19
5 pillars: Sleep, Nutrition, sunlight, exercise, social connection. Spend each day trying to up the HP in those categories and then one day you’ll just notice substantial changes in how you feel.
#20
Getting a hold of my insomnia and meditation and getting out of religion.
I used to be a total psycho. I’m only a little psycho now.
Insomnia is a f*****g terror. As is organized religion.
#21
Taking care of plants and watching them grow, it gave me a sense of responsibility and they also purify the air!
#22
Unpopular answer, but my mental health got better after I had a baby. Not because motherhood made me happier, but because I have so much to do now and so much to show/teach my baby about life, that in order for them to be the best version of them, I have to be the best version of me. I get to relive life through my child’s experiences and as a mother I have an opportunity to right any wrongs that were inflicted on me by my own parents.
Šimon Špaček 6 months ago
Having a baby puts problems in a perspective. I'm not saying "get a baby, all will be fine", but when you have one, you suddenly do not care about small issues.
#23
Avoiding drama like it's the plague.
Stress is poison, so everything I do is more or less related to trying to relax.
The Darkest Timeline 6 months ago
I agree with avoiding drama as much as possible but stress is a natural part of life; there will always be stressors and we often need them to spur us to action. That doesn’t mean we have to let them own us but we shouldn’t try to avoid them at all costs.
#25
Making enough money to start savings.
Laura ballam 6 months ago
people who say money doesn't equal happiness are full of it. But too much money often turns you into an out of touch greed monster.
#27
Walking daily in the countryside/ park/green space. Even a relatively short distance.
keyboardtek 6 months ago
As Bugs Bunny used to sing, "Nothing could be finer than to be in Carolina in the morning." We retired to the foothills of the mountains in NC and I wake to a beautiful morning forest every day.
#28
Exercise.
keyboardtek 6 months ago
My daily swim produces the endorphins that alleviate most of my arthritis pain.
#29
Honestly, Asking for help. That came from knowing myself well enough to understand the difference between being in a funk and when when depression was creeping back in. One is easier to overcome than the other.
#30
Losing 100lbs.
#31
Therapy was a game-changer for me. Finally having a safe space to unpack my thoughts and emotions with a non-judgmental professional made a huge difference in my mental health. It's amazing how much better you can feel when you have someone to support and guide you through your struggles.
#32
Stopped smoking weed on a daily basis.
keyboardtek 6 months ago
I just learned that when smoking weed one inhales carbon monoxide. As well as any pesticides that were sprayed on the plant.
#33
*“Your going to be fine; and even if you're not going to be fine, isn’t it better to just exist thinking that you’re going to be fine? And when it’s not fine, then you can just f****n handle it. There no sense to ruin right now, right?”* - Bill Burr
The "what ifs" were consuming me. I was losing my mind thinking about problems that haven't happened, and may never happen. This little quote from Bill Burr put a lot into perspective for me.
#34
Getting sober.
It made my Schizophrenia become almost a non issue and overall I just live a happier life. I just wish I didnt have those relapse thoughts.
Aballi 6 months ago
I hear you. Stopping d***s and alcohol was one of the best (if not THE best) things I've ever done for myself. Every time I take something I ruin some aspect of my life, and after almost a decade of recovery, I've built a mostly beautiful life. And yet STILL I sometimes feel like taking something would make my life better. Addiction is a crazy disease.
#35
I moved to a small country town. Less noise, less lights, slower pace of life, nice people, nature just helps me calm. I'm not constantly over stimulated so I'm not overwhelmed and always on the edge.
#36
**GOING**
**THE F**K**
**OUTSIDE**
**NATURE GANGGGGG**.
#37
Writing!! You don’t realize how much is ruminating up there until you take pen to paper. Been writing pretty much daily for almost a decade, an outlet that’s very near and dear to my heart. Other top things are spending time with nature and loved ones - and getting out of your bubble to try new things.
Vix Spiderthrust 6 months ago
My dad always says if he can't sleep, he writes a list of things he's worried about. Getting it out of his head by pinning it to a page. Works for him.
#38
Microdosing with mushrooms. Stop giving a f**k how the world or others see me. I am old enough to finally realize I don't give two f***s about their opinion of me. And also realizing I have missed so many beautiful moments by being held hostage by PTSD and other issues. My kids are almost adults and I wasted so many years letting that s**t control me that I almost missed the happiest years of my life. Not anymore. If one days I spiral I stop and think about those two and I stay grounded instead ed of spinning out. Like in the movie Hook (for us old timers) they (my Daughters) are my happy thought.
Seedy Vine 6 months ago (edited)
Mushrooms can really help with PTSD and so many other issues!
#39
Getting off my anti depression meds and taking care of what was making me depressed. Took a while, but I did it. Never looked back.
Šimon Špaček 6 months ago
This is a good advice. I think that antidepressants are like pain killers, great thing to help you deal with the problem. If you have a big wound, you will not just take morphine, you take morphine while somebody stitches it up and to sleep and get it healed. Antidepressants are the same thing, they will help you get out of toxic relationship, change work, cope with losing a friend,... but they are not solution, only help.
#41
Vitamin D.
#42
Being the "bad guy", also known as prioritizing yourself. Having been a chronic people pleaser I was constantly drained and taken advantage of, I made a huge breakthrough when I realized I had to break up with my now ex.
There is no escaping that some people will be disappointed with you, the question is, will you be disappointed in yourself. The right people in your life will be happy when you are, it's simple but it took me waaay to long to realize.
#43
Physical activity. Walking should be the minimum. That s**t is legit.
#44
Honestly drinking water and watching sugar intake. I used to only drink soda or super sweet tea but I stopped and everything feels more clear mentally, I'm more hydrated and it's also an easy way to shed some weight too. I highly recommend cutting soda for anyone to feel better mentally and physically. I didn't cut it completely, I might have a vanilla coke once a month as a treat but that's it.
#45
Having a routine. No matter what my schedule is for the day, whenever I’m in a routine of getting up, getting dressed and taking a shower, I’m in a good place.
Once I stop that routine, thinking I can just hang out in bed for just one day, I’m f****d.
#46
Tapering off my zanax prescription. I didn't realize how much of a fog I was in until I quit, and after 10 years on it I realized it was making my anxiety worse. Proud to say I haven't touch any in 2 years.
#47
Permanently logging off Twitter. Finishing my dissertation was a pretty big boost as well.
LaserBrain 6 months ago (edited)
Never been on twitter but it seems like a waste of time. BP on the other hand, though...
#48
Transitioning. I waited 7 years after coming out as transgender to finally start my medical transition. I truly did not realize how unhappy and insecure I was. I was so afraid of being misgendered or being hate crimed that I just... didn't talk to anyone. I'm moving to a different state next month and I'm so excited to have a fresh start.
keyboardtek 6 months ago
The teen age years for a straight person is challenging and stressful enough trying to figure out the opposite sex and appropriate behavior. I cannot imagine how difficult it is for trans people.
#49
Getting diagnosed with adhd. My confidence has skyrocketed, I'm holding down a job for the first time in my life (got it through a government program - and 4 months later I'm a de facto project manager for a pilot-program that's do or die for the company). The combination of medicine that works, and a purpose in life has literally turned my life around. It's only been 8 months since I was put on the right meds. My biggest worry now is my increasing tolerance to the meds and if my bloodpressure allows for an increase in dosage (I'm still at the lowest dose). Also I'm not getting enough sleep. :S.
Pansexual-Kat 2 months ago
I think I have adhd but I haven't gotten professionally diagnosed. So good for you! ^^
#50
1. Stopped watching videos where they explain how relationships should be like based on their story.
Everybody is different.
2. Quitting my job.
#51
The second best thing I have ever done for my mental health is daily cardio exercise get about 2 hours a day on average. My mental and physical health has never been better.
#53
Changing my entire playlist from sad songs to upbeat ones.
#54
Vitamin B Complex helps motivation when you’re deficient. Some vitamin supplements help physical health, which may allow you to do whatever you need: exercise, sleep, pain management. That all helps improve mental health.
#55
Started being a c**t to people who deserved it.
doredde 6 months ago
I´m not really sure if that will be an "improvement" for your mental health. Setting firm boundaries and not letting you parade around is important, in my opinion. But being a c**t is not very mature and will give you no inner peace. Hate is a strong emotion, as love, and would it not be better to let go the things/people that hinder you from going forward ? Inner peace will not come from striking back.
What do you think ?
David Paterson 6 months ago
Lots of good advice above. One extra is affirmations - I started lying to myself: Everything will get better; I love everybody; I deserve true success; that sort of rubbish. And after a few months it started to help.
Kari Panda 6 months ago (edited)
For me, it was having a kid, though for unexpected reasons: I always had a bad opinion of myself - I‘m fat, I‘m useless, I‘m ugly etc. Then I read a comment, I think it was on BP even, from someone whose daughter started copying their self-reproaching comments. The kid started worrying about her 'fat thighs'. That had a huge impact on me and I vowed to myself to not let my insecurities affect my daughter. So I‘m actively calling her and myself pretty when we play dress up, and when I make a mistake Iike dropping or spilling something, I say how that’s not something bad, you just need to fix the mistake you made. It was hard at first because calling myself pretty made me tear up, but it became easier and I do now stress and worry less about myself.
David Paterson 6 months ago
Lots of good advice above. One extra is affirmations - I started lying to myself: Everything will get better; I love everybody; I deserve true success; that sort of rubbish. And after a few months it started to help.
Kari Panda 6 months ago (edited)
For me, it was having a kid, though for unexpected reasons: I always had a bad opinion of myself - I‘m fat, I‘m useless, I‘m ugly etc. Then I read a comment, I think it was on BP even, from someone whose daughter started copying their self-reproaching comments. The kid started worrying about her 'fat thighs'. That had a huge impact on me and I vowed to myself to not let my insecurities affect my daughter. So I‘m actively calling her and myself pretty when we play dress up, and when I make a mistake Iike dropping or spilling something, I say how that’s not something bad, you just need to fix the mistake you made. It was hard at first because calling myself pretty made me tear up, but it became easier and I do now stress and worry less about myself.
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