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Unfortunately, we’re not mind-readers—at least… most of us aren’t. That means that if we want somebody to know something, we have to vocalize it. Or hope beyond hope that they’ll pick up on the trail of clues we leave in our body language.

The men of Reddit have come together and shared the things that they wish women knew and the things that are important to them, in the context of romantic relationships and beyond. They opened up about cute things like the fact that men really do enjoy hugs and compliments and also broached practical topics like the need to be alone from time to time. (Hey, boundaries are important, especially in relationships.)

As you’re scrolling down, upvote the posts that you agree with. And you should also swing by the comment section to share the things that you wish your partners knew, too, dear Pandas. Bored Panda spoke about the dynamic between men and women, and why it’s important to communicate about what’s most important to us with dating and relationship expert Dan Bacon, the founder of The Modern Man. Scroll down to read what he had to say.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

Just say it straight. Don't make me read between the lines or trying and take a hint. How in the heck am I supposed to know you're into me if you don't say it. I don't know you well enough to read your brand of body language, but I'm interested in you cause you seem cool.

If you respond with a "no" to my interest I will respect your boundaries, don't expect me to "try harder". No means no.

Verbal communication is way better.

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Clark Tyler DS
Clark Tyler DS
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. It's really the basic concept of consent we teach our kids. No means no. I talked to a girl once that told me, if I were a real man, I would chase her. No ma'am. A real adult says what they mean.

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Bored Panda asked dating and relationship expert Dan to elaborate on the kinds of attitudes that are healthy in relationships, as well as whether it’s important to be on the same page in terms of respecting and understanding each other’s passions in life.

“The best attitude is true, sincere love where you honestly care about the other person and only want the best for them. However, that can only happen if the dynamic of the relationship continues to produce those feelings over time,” the expert told us.
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#2

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men You know that complaint that women sometimes have that just because they are polite to you doesn't mean they're interested in you?

Yeah, that works both ways. I'm not saying "good morning" because I want to bed you, I'm not holding the door for you because I think you'll reward me with some nookie for doing so, etc. etc.

I'm doing so because, like you, I'm a decent human being and am being polite.

just_some_a--hole , chris_jolly Report

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Tobias Reaper
Tobias Reaper
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

exactly i am just being polite i would do the same for a person of any gender or even species but not bears though

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#3

Women body shaming men is just as bad as men body shaming women.

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“If the dynamic of the relationship causes one or both of them to lose their feelings of attraction and love, then it will be very difficult to behave, think or care in the same way they did in the beginning. As a result, the relationship will become stale and a breakup or divorce will almost certainly happen at some point,” he said that consistent, genuine effort has to be put into relationships to make them work.

“Unfortunately, most people don’t ever get taught how to create and maintain a mutually happy, in love and attracted relationship dynamic, so they just wing it and hope for the best, which then results in high levels of breakups and divorces,” Dan said that just hoping for the best without actively doing your best isn’t good enough.
#4

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men Girl: I’m dropping so many hints! Why doesn’t he get them?
Boy: I think the girl is dropping hints but I’m not sure I want to risk my friendship and embarrassment, so I’ll just ignore them.

Qepperoni , Ekaterina Report

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User# 6
User# 6
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't speak for all men, but as a general rule of thumb: we are dreadful at deciphering subtle signs. Please just say what you want to convey.

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#5

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men Please ask us out. It makes us feel wanted and loved.

SalFunction12 , Hac Hai Report

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Nathaniel
Nathaniel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For me I feel like even talking to a woman, no matter how innocent my intentions I am being judged for only wanting "one" thing, it makes it so awkward should I want to ask a woman out, I dare not.

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#6

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men Just because I’m not talking, doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying my time with you.

Denmasterflex , Jonas Weckschmied Report

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Nathaniel
Nathaniel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My measure of how close you feel with someone. I have had many a happy a time just sat reading a book, with someone sat next to me also reading or doing puzzles etc. No communication, just being there with each other.

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Relationship expert Dan explained to Bored Panda that even though it’s wonderful to have the support of your partner when it comes to the things that you most care about, at the end of the day, we have to understand that this won’t be the case in every scenario.

“A man needs to be aware that his girlfriend or wife may not understand his passion project the way he does,” he pointed out that a guy’s girlfriend might simply not ‘get’ why he wants what he wants or needs what he needs.
#7

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men We like random gifts, we like random hugs, we like random signs of affection and love — sometimes just a cup of coffee in my favorite mug is enough to convince me it’s going to be a good day.

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#8

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men We don't know where we want to eat either.

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#9

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men Sometimes stuff is just difficult. For no reason I can also be sad, just because I don’t cry doesn’t mean I’m not sad.

Also

We don’t want to be the ones who always initiates sex, it makes us feel creepy sometimes.

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“She may not see the importance of it, or might be annoyed with it because he has failed at it for years on end and they have bills to pay,” Dan said that some people might even start resenting their partners if their passions, projects, and goals haven’t yielded fruit (yet).

“She wants to see progress in their life and have a feeling of security about their future, rather than watching him spending years or decades fiddling around with something that isn't providing results for them as a couple now,” he noted how some women think and how they sometimes disregard what guys think is important.

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#10

When we're start dating, all other women don't magically become unattractive. No, I don't want to be with them, but some are still pretty. I will look. I won't stare. It means nothing and has no influence on my feelings for you. Btw, I'll probably look at that guy with huge arms too, and it won't bother me if you do the same. Attractive people are just beautiful things in nature like a sunset or a mountain view. Go ahead and look. Enjoy. I don't want to stick my d**k in any of them.

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#11

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men We need just as much support as you do, it’s always a shock when a guys kills himself until you look back at all the subtle cries for help. We’re screaming on the inside and we need someone to let us know it’s okay.

fosterdylan , Daniel Reche Report

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Natalia A
Natalia A
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Helplines for the men in the UK: https://www.safeline.org.uk/what-we-do/men/ https://www.mankind.org.uk/ https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/guides-to-support-and-services/crisis-services/helplines-listening-services/ https://www.thecalmzone.net/

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#12

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men Men love being the target of a romantic gesture. Many men never have been.

GamerFromJump , Brittani Burns Report

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Catarina
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When we we're dattting i left post-its with notes all around the house with litle hearts and my husband still talks about that 🥰

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However, Dan believes that even a lack of support can be a blessing in disguise. “A woman behaving like that in a relationship is often a blessing for a man. In many cases, a dissatisfied girlfriend or wife will drive a man to work harder and smarter, which can lead to the success of his passion project,” he said that some guys go the extra mile when they have something to prove to the people closest to them.

“He will have a 'must succeed' attitude, rather than only giving it a shot and seeing how it goes. That's often the difference between success and failure.”
#13

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men We aren't great with hints. Communication is king.

I-moth , Juan Pablo Serrano A Report

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Caro Caro
Caro Caro
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, you put the trash by the front door for him to take out and him: "Honey I'm home" and steps over the trash.... Just kidding. Seriously, It's true, you men aren't great when it's a guessing (hinting) game. But if asked what to do most men don't mind that and will do it!

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#14

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men We actually really want to be complimented too. A 60 year old women complimented me 5 years ago and it still makes me feel good, which just shows how little we get compliments.

Snoo_95427 , Marina Abrosimova Report

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Tobias Reaper
Tobias Reaper
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my best friend who is female told me when we first met 5 years ago my hair looks good short i have cut it short ever since and try to keep it short

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#15

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men Get away from me at night in the summertime, I still love you. I’m just hot and don’t want to snuggle.

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ToGo
ToGo
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A man like this would suit me just fine! Get away from me at night, every season. I don't mind snuggling for a few minutes but then I want my own side of the bed and my own cover. I'll be a much more romantic and pleasant woman during the day if I get a good sleep 😂.

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However, that’s not to say that support isn’t important. It is! And a lack of it can be a very clear indication that the relationship might not be working as well as it should. Passion projects, large or small, can help identify weaknesses in relationships by seeing how one’s partner reacts to them.

“If a man finds that no matter how much progress he makes, she still gets annoyed and doesn’t like him working on it, he needs to start thinking about whether or not she should remain part of his life,” the expert said.

“He doesn’t need to leave her right away, though. He should make real progress on his passion project and then, if she is still dissatisfied, he should calmly and lovingly let her know that he’s not going to stop working on it and if she doesn’t like that, she is welcome to leave him.”

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#16

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men It’s ok to make the first move. Guys can be shy too. Come talk to me instead of staring at me.

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Foxxy (The Original)
Foxxy (The Original)
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I made the first move with my now hubby. I approached him on the bus, didn't even know who he was.

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#17

If you don’t want to hear the truth about something don’t ask me to tell you the truth. Because I’m going to tell you the truth every time.

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#18

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men When we say we're thinking about nothing, the majority of the time it literally is just nothing or ridiculous scenarios that we make up that sound stupid when said out loud.

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#19

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men When we tell women that we don’t know how we feel about something it’s usually true and we genuinely don’t really understand how we are supposed to feel. I personally wasn’t allowed to express emotions growing up and it turned into me not being able to understand my emotions.

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User# 6
User# 6
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Also, when you ask 'what are you thinking about' the answer 'nothing' is true. Trust me, a men's head can be completely vacant.

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#20

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men I really like to hang out with my friends because I love them. Not because I don't want to spend time with you.

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Tracy Wallick
Tracy Wallick
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People who are insecure about their SO spending time with their friends probably need to think about why that is, rather than taking it out on their SO.

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#21

We aren’t unemotional, we just may not show it as often. It hurts when I’ve had to hear from my mother or sister say things like “you’re a guy, you aren’t good with your emotions” or “you don’t understand being emotional”. I do. I absolutely do. Saying things like “I don’t understand” in such an arrogant, condescending tone only makes me want to show them less.

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's worth it to explain things. My mother used to snap at me "Don't you understand?!" She wouldn't explain what she meant and that left me feeling too stupid to be worthy of proper communication. It wasn't until I was 20 that I finally burst into tears and told her, "You always say that! If you want me to understand, you explain!" She communicated better after that.

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#22

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men All the hurtful things they say don’t just magically disappear from men’s memories. We have feelings too. And criticizing a man for being honest with feelings as not being manly is not only cruel but also highly ironic considering there’s a constant yearning for men with emotion.

TheGhostofYourPast , Ekrulila Report

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Furious George
Furious George
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope women really read this one. I have had partners say some truly heinous s**t to me over the years, things that I would never say, and then just brush it off with something like "I was stressed". Unfortunately, just because it wasn't a big deal to you doesn't mean that it won't still haunt me for years.

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#23

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men Not all men of course, and some women have it too but.......The nothing box is real.

The nothing box is a small section of the brain that contains absolutely nothing at all. When we enter the nothing box we genuinely are not thinking a single thought. There is no song playing in our head, there is no thought process, there's so much nothing that we don't even recognise at the time that we're not thinking anything, because to do so would be a thought. If someone looks like their brain has just checked out and they have a dead-eyed stare into middle distance then they're probably in the nothing box.

The passage of time ceases to exist, no physical sensation makes it through. Once in the nothing box, you stay in there until some external stimulus or the formation of an errant thought pulls you out of it. Leaving the nothing box is the first time that you are even aware you were in the nothing box.

It's like a nap for the brain while all other functions remain.

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Lee Macro
Lee Macro
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have some good moments doing this. Laying down, not thinking, just being

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#24

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men I want real knight armor for my birthday but I’m not allowed to say so because society forces me to hide it.

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#25

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men If I’m lying in bed with someone, just enjoying the moment together, I should be able to just enjoy the moment and let my mind drift to wherever it’s going. If you want to talk about the future of the relationship or something, that’s great and we can do that if you start that conversation, but if you ask me out of the blue what I’m thinking about, and I say Bolbi’s “Slap slap slap” song from Jimmy Neutron, then you shouldn’t get mad at me just because it’s not the thing you wanted me to be thinking about! Just tell me you want to talk about the relationship and we can do that!

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#26

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men Playing “hard to get” does not work for a lot of people.

LavaTGP , Tirachard Kumtanom Report

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Daria B
Daria B
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Playing hard to get" is immoral to start with. It skews the understanding of rejection.

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#27

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men If you take the initiative and ask an average looking dude out, there's like a 99% chance he'll say yes.

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#28

When I get angry at my video games I’m not an angry person. I just f**kin suck at Dark Souls.

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Furious George
Furious George
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

🤣🤣🤣 my wife gets so mad when I play call of duty because "it REALLY doesn't sound like I'm having fun".

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#29

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men Sometimes men just need some alone time. (From everyone and everything)

ToastyTheToastr , Priscilla Du Preez Report

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#30

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men When I say “I don’t mind,” I really mean it. If I did mind, I would say so.

MaygarRodub , cottonbro Report

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Janus Preez
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Esoecially with food - do you want beef or chicken ? I don't mind, I really don't mind, either one will do. I'm not indecisive, its just food

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#31

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men When we went on that date and I kept you warm on that bench and you rested your head on my shoulders. And afterwards we kissed and said goodbye...I still wasn't entirely sure you were into me and I've been thinking about how dumb I am for the last couple of days.

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#32

I still have fond and treasured memories of being appreciated or generally uplifted by compliments I got in 10th grade. I can tell you the exact date of my last hug. I still remember what time it was when someone last told me they were proud of me. And I drown the pain in p**n, booze, and weed, but I still cry myself to sleep most nights because the pain just gets to me.

What, as a guy, do I wish girls knew? I wish they knew how much the little s**t matters. Especially to guys who are anti-social or just introverted. Compliments, appreciation, hugs, it doesn't matter. Affection does so much for guys, in a world that's increasingly devaluing them.

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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The problem is, being in a relationship won't fix this and will likely lead to codependency. What I've discovered through online dating is that most men need therapy -- and I'm not being sarcastic; I am a huge proponent of it! When they don't have community and an awareness of themselves and their emotions, they're toxic. They don't have coping skills and are dysfunctional. I'm not saying it's 100% his fault, though. Our society does, unfortunately, make it very difficult for men to be human.

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#33

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men if you dont tell us you want something we honest to god wont know...

case and point, my Ex was sat at home and i was going to the local shop

"hey, do you want anything from the shop?"

"no, im good"

she got mad because i didnt buy her anything....

Empty-Refrigerator , cottonbro Report

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#34

Sometimes men just don’t get hard. It’s not you. It’s many things, from lifestyle and diet to stress and anxiety. And just getting older. Please try not to take it as a sign of lack of attraction or affection. Sometimes it just happens.

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#35

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men We want to be seen as sexy, beautiful creatures. Many of us want to be pursued also, to feel like we don't have to always motivate women into wanting us. Nobody should be the designated initiator 100% of the time.

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And i was like WTF!!
And i was like WTF!!
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

After 3 years of relationship, to this day i think my gf lost a bet or is pulling a prank, even tho all she shoved me is genuine love and affection and respect... Idk man, i just dont see myself as someone desirable or sexy

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#36

Days off are for resting. Ive dated a lot of women who heard I had 2 days off work ad took it as an invitation to make plans for us. Like yeah I appreciate that you put all this effort into planning our time together but sometimes Im just burned out and need like 2 days of just sitting home in my underwear watching tv.

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#37

Just because I'm not in the mood right now doesn't mean I think you're ugly. Sometime when we snuggle, I end up falling asleep. The bed is comfortable, so pressing up against me might not get me in the mood. I'm just content laying down, feeling your body, and falling asleep knowing everything is okay at the moment.

We crave affection and close intimacy, but society tells us if we aren't ready for sex at a moment's notice, we aren't really men. Like F**K I JUST WANNA BE HELD SOMETIMES TOO.

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#38

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men “Why are you grumpy” is all I hear from my fiancée. Sometimes I just want to be quiet.

tjamos8694 , Djordje Petrovic Report

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Peej Maybe
Peej Maybe
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get this all the time. I point out that most of the time I am very happy, smiley, jokey and funny. But when it comes to people...and what people do, that's where I get grumpy :)

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#39

Our feelings are just as valid as yours, and shouldn't be held against us. My fiancee and I are in the process of planning our wedding, and she consistently gets irritated with me because I don't get as excited as she does. I'm sorry, I do want to marry you and I am excited, but I find it really f**king hard to jump up and down about picking out flowers and centerpieces. Just because you have been planning your Disney wedding since you were a young girl doesn't mean dudes do the same, and getting pissy with me because I am not mirroring your emotions exactly is really not cool, and not healthy for both of our mental health and the relationship.

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Me Oh My
Me Oh My
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dunno about everyone else, but this seems like a red flag to me..

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#40

Only speak if it improves upon the silence.

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#41

If you're throwing signals at a guy, and he's not catching them, it might not be because he's so dense he doesn't notice them. It might be that he does see them, but his self-esteem is so low his internal dialog talks him out of believing you are interested in him in a romantic or sexual context.

Throwing more obvious signals doesn't overcome that. If knowing his self-esteem is that low isn't enough for you to lose interest, be direct. That doesn't mean ask him if he wants to "have coffee" or "get a drink" with you, as either of those leave wiggle room for misinterpretation. Ask him out on a date (specifically say "date"), so there is no mistaking your intention.

The worst thing likely to happen is that he'll say no. Which does sting, but not like spending a month throwing hints he never responds to.

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ben woskje
ben woskje
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

exactly.... after years (or decades) of being told that your short/ugly/pathetic etc... funnily enough its not a natural response for those guys (like me) to realise on the very rare occasion that a girl is actually sending "signals"

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#42

Respecting our wishes is just as important as us respecting yours.

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#43

When you're mad at anything we did tell us. Don't play the silent treatment game and then get mad when we don't pick up on it or understand what you're doing or why you're doing it. Told my wife this before we got married, lol.

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#44

About the shrinkage. Sometimes it hides like a frightened turtle.

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ben woskje
ben woskje
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

hahaha... and other times, we get random boners.... yes, they really are random... we don't know why we have a boner either... we are not in control!

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#45

That every expression that crosses our face, does not relate to you. Some of us have a lot going on between the ears and we're trying to make sense of it.

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Phil Vaive
Phil Vaive
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THIS ONE!!!! I can't tell you how many times I've been replaying a conversation in my head or something, and suddenly think to myself "S**t, did I just make that facial expression out loud??"

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#46

We are not all good at fixing s**t. I'm absolutely terrible. I hate working on cars. I have zero interest in cars and have zero interest in figuring out how it works to fix it.

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ZAPanda
ZAPanda
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or maybe I do not feel like fixing your dad's car, or your brother's car, or your cousin's car, because they want to save money and think I really don't mind being abused.

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#47

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men I am perfectly happy sitting in silence/playing video games for a few hours at a time on a weekend morning/night and it doesn’t mean I’m mad at you/ignoring you/don’t want to spend time together. Ya boy is just trying to chill.

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Kai David
Kai David
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dated someone while I was in university. We were on the couch, his head on my lap, he was watching Seinfeld while I was studying for final exam. He became upset with me because I wasn't spending time with him.🙄

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#48

I am interested. Don't let my aloofness fool you. I just have no situational awareness when it comes to being hit on.

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Furious George
Furious George
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nothing like randomly realizing 3 years later that someone was hitting on you 😆

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#49

If you genuinely compliment a guy... don’t be upset if they don’t react the same way a woman would react to a random compliment. Most dudes get them so infrequently that when it does happen, there is a part of them that wonders if it was genuine...or if they are just giving them a polite and/or pity compliment. This often leads to an awkward/unenthusiastic response to the aforementioned compliment. It never occurs to most guys to just say, “Thanks!”

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Furious George
Furious George
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Agree. Just because it's creepy when random dudes say you're pretty doesn't mean the same is true for us. I still remember when women told me I was beautiful 20 years ago. I can probably count the number of times that I've received compliments like that on my hands.

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#50

That when 2 guys talk to each other, they dont talk about life, hobbies, kids, work, etc. We just talk, and we dont remember what we talk after it.

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Al Christensen
Al Christensen
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wife: How can you two be best friends for 25 years without you knowing every detail of his life and the lives of his entire extended family? Husband: We're best friends because we don't talk about that stuff.

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#51

When we say you're pretty without makeup and that you don't need it to be beautiful, we mean it.

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Ace Girl
Ace Girl
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband used to say this until he realized I don't wear makeup for him or any man. 😆 I know I'm beautiful without it. I just like wearing it. It's the creative expression for me!

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#52

A lot of us aren't horny 100% of the time. If I just came off a 12 hour day in 104 heat I'm just not feeling it.

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Jacob Nunez
Jacob Nunez
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or just not feeling it at all regardless of the circumstance

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#53

30 Things Women Don't Understand About Men We like to be the little spoon too sometimes.

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#54

We are insecure as hell at times. Be it "f**k I'm an fat piece of s**t", "i could be the ugliest person alive", "I'm in no way capable of doing this", "I'm drowning and in way too deep". It can creep up out of nowhere and cripple us.

We love being complimented, want to be wanted, want to feel needed.... which is part of the reason we automatically slip into "how can this be fixed" when we listen to your problems instead of giving a "oh damn, that sucks" answer that you might be looking for.

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#55

I can take care of our kids by myself. I'm not an idiot. Go hang out with your friends.

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ZAPanda
ZAPanda
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate this. It implies we are incompetent. Never ever ever say, "should you do xyz?" it means "you are a f*****g idiot and I do not trust you to do xyz properly"

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#56

We would give you way more compliments, but too afraid to be blamed for sexual harasment. Or look like perverts.

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-
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One safe approach in the workplace is to compliment someone on their work.

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#57

That sometimes a hug or nice compliment can mean a lot. We can ride that wave for quite a while.

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#58

I want physical affection outside of sex. Maybe it’s just the women I’ve been with, but no one ever hugs me, rubs my back, or plays with my hair. And I do that stuff for you ladies all the time. Sometimes I just want you to walk up to me and hug me.

Part of the reason I ask for sex so often is because i feel physically lonely and it’s the only time I get to feel the touch of another human being.

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Kanuli
Kanuli
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So asking for sex is easier than asking for a hug? 😬

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#59

It’s hard to get over y’all. We don’t really have emotional support systems in place to rely on and a lot of men have small social circles so losing someone means a lot to us.

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Tobias Reaper
Tobias Reaper
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

when i have had a break up in past nobody was there for me i was just told to get over it and move on like my feelings didn't matter telling someone my heart was broken and being told dont be silly really hurt

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#60

You have a massive impact on our lives the smallest things you can harm or help us so much since we are so starved for affection and have our emotions alienated I had one friend who was a girl who just acted kind to me and it helped my mental health so f**king much.

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Tobias Reaper
Tobias Reaper
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i have a female best friend and since she has been my friend she is kind and affectionate to me and makes me believe that maybe i am worthy of being loved by others

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#61

Wearing my Cubs jersey while watching them play brings good luck and helps them win.

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Damitria
Damitria
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can make snacks and let you watch them all you want. I am not into sports and learned through experience that confusingly watching something I don't understand can ruin it when I interject a gazillion questions. I will be in the next room doing my thing while you do yours.

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#62

We are people too. We have the same feelings, fears and dreams as you do. Our way of expressing ourselves may be different than yours but we still experience the same range of feelings that you do. Please don't treat us as something less than yourself. We feel just as much as you do and we express it differently.

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#63

That I’m a softie. I like pink. I like cute things. I like to hang out at home. I want to be the one laying on your lap. Not all of us are mr. macho man lol.

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#64

I know f**k all about my mates. I don’t know what they’ll do in the future, I don’t know that much about their romantic life. They don’t know anything about me. Sometimes guys spend time around each other and don’t get too mixed up in the past or the future. This concept blows my sisters mind.

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#65

That the whole wanting sex all the time pretty much is because we're attracted to you and it's just a biological response. The vast majority of us guys don't start out going, "I want to f**k something!" We start out pretty much thinking about whatever else (cars, games, friends, body aches, et. al.) and then you come along and hold our hand, kiss us, snuggle, and before you know it, we want to be as close as we can to you and that means sex.

My ex-gf accused me of just wanting sex all the time and that's all I saw in her, and it was totally not true. I loved doing stuff with her, hanging out, laughing. But when we started snuggling, she made me horny. Because I loved her and was so incredibly attracted to her. So yeah, I want to share that intimacy with the woman I love. It wasn't "I want sex, come here and f**k me." It was "I'm so happy you're holding me ..... oh I'm getting hard.....let's make love!"

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Natalia A
Natalia A
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read somewhere that men are conditioned by society not to be affectionate/tactile, so when a woman initiates physical affection (hugs etc), his immediate response is to turn that into a sexual thing because he lacks the capacity to show affection and seek connection in a non-sexual way. In turns, this can lead to resentment on the woman's part because she ends up feeling like all he wants from her is sex.

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#66

That sitting on the toilet with the door locked is super peaceful. Just me and my stank.

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#67

Just ask how our day was. I just wanna talk and share my opinion.

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#68

We don’t have the time or the energy to “chase” a girl.

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#69

That us men do not always need to be emotionally strong. They should realize that we are human and we have feelings too and sadness is not a sign of weakness for us men.

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Veronica Sjöberg
Veronica Sjöberg
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never thought of men (in general/as a gender stereotype) as emotionally strong. I've seen them as conditioned to believe that having and showing emotions is a bad thing - yes, but that isn't the same as being emotionally strong. At all. A strong human (regardless of gender) can feel and show emotions and communicate them in a productive way. Just shutting down isn't going to help anyone.

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