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30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points

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On the surface, infidelity seems like it’s easy enough to define. It’s a simple binary of doing or not doing certain things. Either you cheated or you didn’t. However, life is a lot more complicated than that. Someone can have not “done anything,” but still cross their partner's boundaries.
Someone asked “What's not really cheating but can count as cheating?” and netizens shared their best examples. We also got in touch with the person who started the thread to learn more. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorite examples and be sure to comment your own thoughts and ideas below.

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#1

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points If you wouldn’t do it with your partner standing right there, don’t do it. You know where the line is. You know when you’re toeing it. You know when you’ve crossed it. Don’t play dumb.

Scared_of_the_KGB , ira / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

67points

#2

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Intentionally deleting texts so your partner doesn’t see them. If it needs to be hidden, it’s already shady.

fairytaalecassy , Pixabay / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

38points

#3

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points In a relationship, if my partner knows that I would really like to do something with them and they don't want to do the thing with me, but then do the exact thing with someone else.
For example: If I am a bike enjoyer and I always ask my partner to come with me for a bike ride and they always say no and that they don't like riding bikes, but then the one time a friend asks them for a bike ride together they go.

Impossible_Form_2826 , Munbaik Cycling Clothing / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

36points

Bored Panda got in touch with the person who posted the thread and she was kind enough to answer some of our questions. Firstly, we wanted to know why she was inspired to post this particular query to the internet and what she thought of it getting so popular.

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“I just posted that because I was bored tbh. I honestly didn't think it would get so much traffic. Which I really, really don't like,” she shared. Naturally, we also wanted to hear their thoughts on the topic. “Things that are not point blank cheating but is cheating imo: Hugging the same woman twice. Once is enough.”

#4

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points We went to brunch with a group of friends. My wife couldn’t finish her meal and said “does anyone want my bacon?” instead of immediately defaulting to offering it to me, her husband. Still haven’t forgiven her.

Accomplished_Egg6239 , Vincent Rivaud / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

35points

#5

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Having a work wife/husband. The only people I’m aware of doing this, yeah they were cheaters.

RavingSquirrel11 , Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

34points

#6

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Stopping at Dairy Queen for the Blizzard of the month, and savoring every delicious bite in your car before bringing home all the healthy food for your hubby’s diet.

CrabbyPatt111 , Sarah Stierch / flickr (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

31points

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“Also, lingering hugs? No. Whispering in another woman's ear 'Oh my God' you smell sooooo good while you're hugging her??? You might as well turn around and punch me in the face. I'm a black woman, so taking out another women's braids??? Absolutely not. She has hands, and if she doesn't, she has feet. I'm not sorry.”

#7

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Flirting with someone online and calling it harmless fun.

Galactic_Goose_3 , Monstera Production / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

31points

#8

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points I guess when I found out he had taken another girls underwear from her bathroom floor because he liked her. Technically not cheating, but I kinda wish he had cheated rather than that.

Far_Change9253 , cottonbro studio/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

29points

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#9

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Emotional infidelity. People know when they’re giving something to someone else that is sacred to the relationship.

pastyoureyescheese , Ron Lach / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

27points

“Intense eye contact for more than 4 seconds, while paying attention to what she's saying. And you're smiling? Absolutely not. Like, why don't you just stab my mom? Laughing uncontrollably at another woman's joke. So uncontrollably that you can't even breathe. She's not that funny,” she shared with Bored Panda.

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#10

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Suggesting opening up your relationship with someone specific in mind.

SadlyNotDannyDeVito , Budgeron Bach / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

24points

#11

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points My partner made a whole plate of nachos while I was taking a nap and didn’t save me any, he might as well just have an affair at that point honestly.

awholedamngarden , Karolina Kaboompics / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

24points

#12

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Allowing someone to think they have a chance with you (in other words, leading them on), or not shutting someone down immediately when you’re in a relationship and intentionally withholding the fact that you’re taken out of the conversation…

Source: Been There, Done That ✔️.

adeduedemballa , Bethany Ferr/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

24points

#13

When you know the person wouldn't be okay with it if you told them or asked them about it, so you don't tell them so they won't say no and you can pretend it's the same as if they agreed to it.

4URprogesterone Report

Final score:

23points

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#14

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Getting coffee with Marisa Tomei when you find out she's into short, stocky, bald men.

rob_s_458 , Columbia Pictures Television Report

Final score:

22points

#15

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Keeping pictures of your old crush on your computer with her husband and kids cut out of them.

PinkMonorail , Karolina Kaboompics / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

22points

#16

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points I read a fun Reddit post about a woman who developed a fake relationship (sexting included) with an AI version of Arthur Morgan. She stopped spending time with her partner and only confided with the AI about problems.

Is it cheating if it’s not a real person? Does the answer matter if the feelings are real?

add0607 , Andrea Piacquadio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

21points

#17

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Flirting with someone to the point where it crosses emotional boundaries—it’s like playing with fire without getting burned.

kennagiveahug , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

20points

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#18

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Watching advance episodes that you and your partner both watches.

TooStrong4U1991 , cottonbro studio/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

15points

#19

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Allowing yourself to be in a situation where you have the option to cheat.

You can stop that well in advance.

dasaigaijin Report

Final score:

15points

#20

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Secretly paying for Only Fans behind your partners back.

gibtnlb , Eren Li / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

15points

#21

When my wife goes to Taco Bell without me.

luckynug Report

Final score:

15points

#22

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points "Monkey Branching", aka approaching a romantically compatible partner to pursue a friendship with them that's entirely innocent and platonic and is not breaching any sort of boundaries in any way - but the itended goal is to keep them in the loop and stay in touch so that you have an exist strategy should your current relationship go south.

Reasonable-Mischief , RDNE Stock project/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

14points

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#23

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points My first serious relationship I made friends with a coworker at work. On my side, it was nothing more than friendship so I did not understand why my ex was upset. This actually ended our relationship. A few days after my coworker made her move.

I didn’t see it at the time because I only saw her as a friend. But apparently being friends with someone who likes you is cheating.

SeesawOne485 , Artem Podrez / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

14points

#24

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points My wife had a dream I hooked up with her friend and was mad at me for weeks. Not sure if that counts or not.

Thrillhouse801 , Craig Adderley/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

13points

#25

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Having dating apps installed but stopped using them.

No-Cauliflower-4727 , Nik / unsplash (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

13points

#26

Using pet names that you use with your partner….especially with someone your partner already doesn’t trust.

Spiritual_Vacation62 Report

Final score:

13points

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#27

One of my friends once found messages from his gf telling some guy she was online friends with how if she gave him a lap dance her moves would make him bust in his pants lmao he was like “is this cheating,” i said bro that’s basically sexting and emotional cheating, you can’t be telling some guy you’d make him flood his khakis with a lap dance that’s crazy.

realfakejames Report

Final score:

12points

#28

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Being nice and still hanging out with someone who is obviously trying to get with you.

SexyAriana532 , William Fortunato/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

11points

#29

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Lying about your past. A sexual relationship is founded on certain terms, one of which is your past. If you have lied about those terms, then you have broken the basic contract.

teraza95 , Diva Plavalaguna/ pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

9points

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#30

30 People Debated What They Count As Cheating And They Made Some Interesting Points Deep emotional connection with someone to the point you feel like they understand you better than your current partner. It's always a trap because you don't really know them that well and it's just one aspect in which they seem to be better, while in fact they might be not.

ProfessorCautious798 , Oleksandr P / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

Final score:

9points

Note: this post originally had 50 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

Justin Sandberg

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

I am a writer at Bored Panda. Despite being born in the US, I ended up spending most of my life in Europe, from Latvia, Austria, and Georgia to finally settling in Lithuania. At Bored Panda, you’ll find me covering topics ranging from the cat meme of the day to red flags in the workplace and really anything else. In my free time, I enjoy hiking, beating other people at board games, cooking, good books, and bad films.

Kotryna Br

Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

Kotryna is a Photo Editor at Bored Panda with a BA in Graphic Design. Before Bored Panda, she worked as a freelance graphic designer and illiustrator. When not editing, she enjoys working with clay, drawing, playing board games and drinking good tea.

What do you think ?

Huddo's sister 2 months ago

I'm confused by the title- are these things that feel like cheating but aren't, things that some people think are cheating but others think are a grey area?

3points

Barry Fruitman 2 months ago

Yes

1point

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Steve Hall 2 months ago

Most of these items sound like they are written by a very possessive person.

0points

Vivi Pettiss 2 months ago

I'm so glad I never plan to be in a relationship. Half of this is manipulative bs.

0points

Huddo's sister 2 months ago

I'm confused by the title- are these things that feel like cheating but aren't, things that some people think are cheating but others think are a grey area?

3points

Barry Fruitman 2 months ago

Yes

1point

Load More Replies...

Steve Hall 2 months ago

Most of these items sound like they are written by a very possessive person.

0points

Vivi Pettiss 2 months ago

I'm so glad I never plan to be in a relationship. Half of this is manipulative bs.

0points

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