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“The Trashiest Person I’ve Ever Met”: 30 Moments That Altered How Folks Saw Their Partners
If you really break it down, a lot of “dating someone” is just a prolonged exercise in getting to know them. Sure, there are other activities, but if you are looking for a long-term partner, it’s generally best to not commit until you feel like you know who they are. Often enough, that means seeing them in all sorts of situations.
Someone asked “What did your partner/ex do that made you look at them differently?” and people shared their examples, both good and bad. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorite examples and be sure to add your own thoughts in the comments below.
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#1
Said we need to buy a house big enough for my grandmother to live with us instead of her living in a retirement home. Then he found the house and remodeled the first floor to include a 1 bedroom apartment for her. She lived with us for 15 years and died at home with her family around her. Now my Dad lives with us in that apartment and it is the best thing ever. Hubby is a rock star.
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#2
Kicked my dog. I saw red. I kicked him back and left with my dog. Dog and I are doing great 💜.
#3
What hammered it into my head that I loved him - My now partner came over & carried my beloved 75 lb old collie up & down the stairs to my condo 2x a day to toilet for months, insisted on driving us to that awful appointment with the vet, stayed with me during euthanasia & actually was tearful, as an emotionally avoidant man & collected his ashes as he knew it would be horrendous for me, then spent weeks sitting on the floor getting my new rescue to not be afraid of him.. I am a very lucky woman ….believe me I know it!
Family's_disappointment 2 days ago
I don't think anyone in this entire universe can ask for anything more than this. We humans don't need someone who we can laugh together with, but we do need someone who will lend us their shoulders to cry on, all the while they hold our hand to comfort us.
#4
We had just got in my car when it was snowy & very icy out. He saw a woman we vaguely know who is nearly blind & has developmental issues trying to cross the road at a very dangerous spot. Leapt out the car to help her & walked her home to make sure she was safe. He also offers to help anyone who looks like they’re struggling with anything. He’s a keeper!
#5
When we had juuusssttt started dating, my husband kept cancelling or rescheduling dates to "go visit his sick friend in the hospital". It turns out the friend was real, not a made-up excuse, and had emergency brain surgery to relieve fluid buildup and pressure. He didn't have somewhere he could recover with help available, so my husband put him up in his little condo. When the tests came back that it was terminal brain cancer, he let him stay rent-free so that his disability payments would be enough to enjoy life without stressing about finances or pressure to return to work too early, and there would be someone there to help him if needed.
When we had a brief period where we thought maybe he'd live longer and he went back to work full-time (the original tumor was actually seemingly defeated, but then a few months later two new ones formed) my husband asked him to pay a small rent... And was secretly keeping it in an account to give back to him to help get him started if/when he could move out.
My husband re-arranged his one bedroom condo to make a permanent space in the living room so his friend could stay there and the space was still usable. I was amazed by his kindness and it spoke volumes about what kind of person he was, and how he would handle difficult situations.
(For those that are wondering... We all became great friends and had fun hanging out in that condo together, but sadly our friend passed away after about 2 years... However, he didn't have to worry about money or care, and he was happy for the time he had left. He said he didn't have a "bucket list" and just wanted to enjoy life with his friends and family, and he got to do that while staying out of palliative care for as long as possible. I really wish he could have seen us get married, but we dressed up the cardboard box with our portion of his ashes in a little custom box-sized suit that matched my husband's, put googly eyes on it, and it sat at the head table between us.).
#6
I was in an international long distance relationship and my boyfriend at the time was flying to the US to see me. I was very ill with a chronic illness and urgently had to be sent to the hospital. He was still in his own country about to get on a flight so I called him and told him that I was going to likely be in the hospital all week so if he didn’t want to come it was okay and I’d understand. He came anyway and spent the whole week with me in the hospital. Didn’t complain ONCE. Brought my books and laptop to me everyday and spent hours just sitting next to me playing Mario kart on my switch. This was 2022 and we got married a month ago 🩷.
#7
During the later stages of covid, he was working 15 hour shifts for NHS. I was in India, he was in UK so there was a bit of a timezone difference and the only time we could talk was during his 1.5 hour long commute back home.
During one such call I saw him quietly get up from his seat and give it up for an aged man and smile at him. It was a small gesture, he didn't realise I saw him, but it still told me the type of person he was.
He's the type of person who would work 15 hour shifts and do home visits for elderly patients during covid. Who would give up his seat for a stranger with a smile. Who would stand out in the snow to get a better signal to talk to me for 5 extra mins. I love him.
#8
Stopped teaching yoga, went and got her GED at age 31, enrolled in community college, transferred to university, graduated at 7mos pregnant, took a year off to be with our daughter, got accepted to grad school, got her masters, brought in a second income for our family. Together 20yrs next year, I'll never stop being impressed.
Jane No Dough 3 days ago
My grandfather was partially paralyzed from an automobile accident. My grandmother who'd been a stay at home mom for most of her life at that point (their eldest was 38 and the youngest 20 then), enrolled in college for a nursing degree to enable herself to take over her husband's care from the visiting nurses. She became an RN at 64!
#9
Made me pick up food (pasta with sauce) HE had dropped onto the floor with my OWN HANDS despite knowing that I have sensory issues that cause me to gag uncontrollably if I touch food with my hands (only things I can touch are dry foods like bread). I'm autistic so it's not just 'not liking' it, it's literally unbearable for me. Begged him to let me use the sweeper (we didn't have any towels), so that at least I wouldn't have to touch it. Did it in front of his friends and mocked me.
I just left him on Thursday.
#10
She called me a narcissist for not messaging or calling her back during my aunt's funeral.
Also when my aunt died, she had a meltdown because I might miss her birthday.
It’s like a switch turned off that could never be turned back on, and from that moment, I knew it was over.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 2 days ago
Why are you all downvoting Huddo's sister? The A-hole in this story called OP a narcissist for attending a funeral - hard to think of a better example of misuse of the word narcissist.
#11
When we were less than a year into dating, he invited me to his brother’s wedding.
His half brother, whom I had never met, proceeded to be combative and antagonistic with me about everything, frequently looking me up and down, lingering on my cleavage. I’ve always been a fighter with s****y men, so I gave the half brother a piece of my mind over lunch. We walked back to our hotel but I was so uncomfortable at one point that I was shaking while we were getting ready for the actual ceremony. My partner, furious, called his family and threatened to leave the wedding right then and there.
I still remember him pacing around the bathroom, in just shoes and the nice pants from the suit we picked out together, interrupting his mom to say, “No, you need to listen to me. No talking. No excuses.” Throughout the entire wedding he was my shield against his half-brother and we left promptly the next day after lunch.
No one — not even my biological dad — had stood up for me with their own family before. I was always told I had to just deal or “Well they’re family.” But he knew exactly how uncomfortable I was and didn’t question me at all. He said once he saw the behavior he couldn’t unsee it and it just disgusted him.
My partner refuses to ever see his half brother again and has been deeply protective of me with his family since.
I still think about that a lot.
#12
Gave food to a homeless guy and talked to him for a while, patted him on the back. He didn't think anybody was looking. I knew I loved him then.
#13
When my now-husband and I first started dating, I would get anxious about how much he tipped at restaurants (usually 40-50%, especially if he got any hint that the server might be going through a hard time). I grew up with a huge emphasis on saving money, and I thought it was irresponsible to tip so much every time. But one day I just realized - being with someone more generous than me is the best thing I could ask for.
I’ve since seen him stop everything to help so many strangers, find unique ways to get involved in our community, and just make so many people’s lives better with his empathy and generosity.
#14
My partner shifted my mom to our house during the pandemic days. My mom was severely ill with the pandemic virus and he chose to take care of her than move her to a hospital for isolation.
We couldn't keep her with my dad since he has a lot of comorbidities and a low immunity. He did not fear getting infected from her and took care of her day and night like his own mother.
He used to lift her and take her to the washroom as she was very weak and recovering from low oxygen.
#15
He took my phone off me and called my mum off it, forced me to talk to her about our infertility struggles I'd been keeping from her for months. He knew she'd be able to make me feel better when he wasn't able to.
I knew in that moment I'd married the right man and he'd always try to help me through the hard times.
#16
My first boyfriend hit and screamed at his dog because he urinated inside...broke up with him the next day.
#17
Went to a boxing class with her. She is very cute and happy most of the time but when the gloves go on there’s no stopping her. Love it.
#18
I once got in a huge fight with my father who I already had a strained relationship with. He told me to get out of his house and several other hurtful things. I came home and my ex gf was asleep and I got in the bath and cried. I stayed in there so long, the water was cold.
She woke up and came to the bathroom and saw me. Without saying a word she just took off her robe and got in the cold bath with me and held me. It was the most loving thing I’ve ever experienced especially right after my father wanted nothing to do with me.
Family's_disappointment 2 days ago
I really want to know why you broke up with her? (genuinely curious)
#19
One night my worst ex and I were out at a bar in the city and she got hammered and started making out with a girl.
On our way home as I’m questioning her and still trying to decide how I feel about it, she reveals that she did it to steal said girl’s wallet, which she then proudly holds up.
She grew up rich but was nonetheless the trashiest person I’ve ever met.
Shark queen 🦈🦈🦈 3 days ago (edited)
I hope you through the trash out, called the cops and the girl so she could get her wallet back.
#20
I grew up never learning how to drive in the snow (never had to), but it often snowed where I went to school. In college when it snowed, my boyfriend (now husband) would always go and grocery shop/run errands with me when it snowed until I felt comfortable driving alone. I knew he was life partner material.
#21
He’s now my husband but, before when we were close friends we did have a connection (I thought was one sided and never told him). Anyway, I went through a very difficult situation and opened up to him, I ended up sleeping over and cried periodically throughout the night and he would wake up and comfort me. I basically wanted to give up, but he came up with solutions and helped me get into contact with someone who assisted me in turning things around. He was just there for me throughout the years in so many different ways.
We were friends for 6 years before we got together and, I’ve seen him change a lot. He had his own struggles; he went to therapy and sorted himself out.
He shows up for me everyday and I do the same. I lost my job not long ago and am in a bit of a rut, so this morning as he was getting ready to leave; he made me a coffee in my travel mug, told me to get ready so I could walk him to the underground station. It’s sunny out, and it’s his way of getting me up and out and started with my day; I told him I wanted to paint this morning and he tried to make sure I would.
I love him so much.
#22
Knowingly drinks till blackout. Alcoholism was a childhood trauma for me, and he knew that. We are young but blacking out & not knowing who, what, where has made me less attracted to him. I always told him, i will not date/marry my father.
I just want him to understand, alcohol is okay to a certain extent.
- but Putting innocent people at risk, or relationships, friendships at risk from your actions due to blacking out?? Not it.
RagDollLali 3 days ago
This makes me sad that it's in present tense and not talking about an ex. OP is putting themselves through a lot of mental anguish with this.
#23
Claimed that homosexuality is propaganda spread by television.
in 2010.
he was already an ex by that point but we remained friends. suffice to say we were no longer friends after that.
Michael Largey 2 days ago
Yep, that was the source of Oscar Wilde's difficulties. Watching too much TV.
#24
We were only dating at the time but I asked him if he could take a look at my car for me because the windshield wiper fluid pump wasn’t working. He told me it wouldn’t be a problem. He’s never worked on my make of car before and apparently it’s incredibly difficult but he’s a super good mechanic so he spent hours watching YouTube videos to fix it for me. On top of that he fixed everything that looked like it needed to be replaced and never charged me for it or even told me about it. Married 2 years this May 😌.
#25
How cruelly he treated me when he was in pain after surgery. I stayed married to him for 8 more years, but I still vividly remember going to take a shower to escape him, standing in the shower and feeling part of my love die.
Blondie23 2 days ago
You are not alone. My ex-husband cheated on me several times and was also abusive in several ways. I stayed with him for the sake of our daughter but every year my love for him died more and more and grew into hatred till I couldn't take it anymore and then finally left him. He was and still is a narcisst and my daughter often says it's a chore to deal with him!
#26
At our wedding told everyone ‘wasn’t it great that he had paid for the whole thing’. He hadn’t, my parents did, he didn’t chip in a penny. Extremely embarrassing when one of his friends remarked to my mum how nice it was for ex to pay. My mum didn’t correct him, not her style, but it put into perspective all of the small lies I’d watched him tell to bolster his ego. Marriage didn’t last long because I realised I just didn’t like him as a person.
Robert Trebor 3 days ago
I would've gone and found the minister and torn up the marriage license.
#27
My partner stayed up with me when I was crying and having a rough night emotionally. He didn’t have to do that by any means, but stayed up until I was okay again. Showed me just how selfless he is. He sacrificed his own sleep just to make sure I was alright.
Kristen Johnston 2 days ago
While this is sweet, it's also base level relationship stuff. If your 'partner' lets you cry alone, that should end things immediately.
#28
This is so silly, but he bought a new box of Q-Tips a couple months ago without prompting and put them in my bathroom drawer where they belong. He has ADHD and didn’t take initiative on most things in the past. Came home last Friday from work and he had dealt with all the leaves in the yard (I had planned to do them on Saturday, woohoo!). Love him more every day, 14 years on. 💕.
Jane Jayne Jain Jeign Jein 2 days ago
People go nuts over big romantic gestures, but I think it's the everyday little thoughtful things that make the biggest impression.
#29
When I got a promotion (in retail, so not a massive uplift in wages), she said she might quit her job and stay at home.
It was a horror story of a relationship anyway, but her comment was the kick start to get me moving out and finishing things between us.
Je souhaite 2 days ago
Smart move no reason to quit your job and sit on yo a*s while your partner has to work to support both of you
#30
When my mother was terminally ill, we wanted to try a "natural" form of medication as our last form of hope but it was really expensive.
My sibling and I scraped our money together to get it for her, my husband (then boyfriend, not even engaged) said he would pay towards it too so we could buy a longer supply. He actually paid more than me and my sibling because he could.
I didn't even have to ask him, he did it because he knew how much my mum meant to me and how desperate we were and he never wanted to money back because "we are a couple and share".
I already loved him of course, but that moment I realised that he's such a selfless person and really want to spend the rest of my life with him.
He asked my father permission to propose to me not long before my mum passed away, so she at least knew about it.
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