Trump winning a second term and my realization that I don’t belong in the country I was born in, grew up in and fought for.

2of5 , Sachith Ravishka / pexels (not the actual photo) Kodikara Report

POST

View more comments

My cat died when I was twelve. Found her in the morning in a bath of urine, completely limp on her favourite pillow.

She was 20 years old, struggled to walk, stand or even sit straight. The evening before I found her she was dragging herself around the house as if searching for me.

She laid on my lap for hours and when I had to go to bed she wouldn't let go. She knew what was coming and wanted to stay with me.

I know this is not as bad as some other stories I read, she was just a cat after all, but I never really recovered.

Her name was Indy, by the way.

NumberFour_123 , Shahidul Khan / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

When I was a child and my dad started hitting me, I realized none of the adults in my life were going to protect me.

I told my mom and she wouldn’t believe me. The next day, I told my teacher, because we had just talked about inappropriate touch the week before. She looked me in the eye and called me a lair. I stopped trusting adults completely. I was 9 years old.

Your-cousin-It , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

One of my kindergarteners died in my arms. He had an undiagnosed heart defect.

FerriGirl , Ksenia Chernaya / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

My Grandmother raised me. My dad died of a sudden heart attack when I was 8. My mom never got over it, started drinking, so my grandmother, who was 74 at the time, took over for caring for me and my little brother.

She broke her hip when she was in her late nineties, and she had to be put in a nursing home. I would go visit her, by then she had started living in the past. She knew me, but she thought I was still in school and would ask why my brother wasn't home, what we wanted for supper, things like that.

One day I went to see her, and didn't recognize me or know who I was, and didn't speak. That was the most heartbreaking, gut wrenching day of my life. That broke me. Completely. I went to my car and cried like a baby for a long time.

She died at the age of 103, but that was the day I lost her. I didn't cry at her funeral.

123fofisix , Kindel Media / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

In 2017 my oldest son was waiting for a heart transplant. Around us were 5 other families with their children all waiting for the same. We became a family, taking care of each other, supporting one another. Of the six kids my son is the only one left alive. 5 of those children passed while waiting. I will never be able to shake the sound of those parents when their children passed. The pure anguish and pain in those cries….

patsfan5454 , Pixabay / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Losing my dog unexpectedly hit me hard. It felt like a piece of my heart was gone. The house felt emptier, and I missed our little routines. Pets become family, and their absence leaves a big void that's tough to fill.

NoirSelenes , Johann / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

When my daughter died. I’ve never recovered.

Eastmelb , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Watching my grandad lose to dementia.

Beautiful_Life437 , Jean Papillon / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

There was a story in the news earlier this year about a middle aged single dad that had a heart attack and died in his home. They found him a couple weeks later with his toddler son who starved to death lying next to him. Even typing this out is making me tear up.

-Words-Words-Words- , Elijah O'Donnell / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Got cancer at 27, one year in I discovered my husband I met when I was 14, and had 2 sons with, had a full-blown relationship with one of my best girlfriends, and that had been going on for a year. While she pretended to be my close friend during the worst time of my life, so she could attend my children's birthdays, getting closer to my husband and so on.
Still recovering 9 years later.

iminlovewiththe , Vitaly Gariev / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

My mom died when I was 15 after a 10 year battle with recurring oral cancer (she never smoked a day in her life either, just got unlucky). Her death was incredibly painful, however there was something that happened a couple of years prior that I think broke my heart first.

Bit of backstory: My mom was a children’s librarian (she also worked at a children’s bookstore for a while) and one of her favorite parts of her job was getting to do “story times,” for the kids where she’d read to them and they’d do activities she prepared etc. For as long as I knew her she’d read to me and my sister, sung us lullabies, and was always there for advice or encouragement or any other reason we had for talking with her. Words are a very important part of my life and were always central in my perception of her and the way she showed love.

Then they had to remove her tongue.

When she first told us and once it had registered that I would likely never hear her voice again I completely broke down.



That said, she did still manage to speak some - I strongly believe there was nothing that could have stopped her from that - but it was nowhere close to how she could before. She actually made some audio recordings for us the night before her surgery. Personal messages, my favorite lullaby that she used to sing to me, and a couple of my and my sister’s favorite picture books that she used to read for us. I still have them to this day and I am forever grateful they exist.

NeverTrustAnOpenDoor , Kindel Media / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

When my husband and I got pregnant for the first time. We were beyond excited, planning the future... Then went to our 10 week appointment/first ultrasound to be told there wasn't a heartbeat. Repeat ultrasound two weeks later showed it had never developed a neural pole (what turns into the brain/spinal column) or cardiac activity of any sort, that it had basically just stopped developing for no reason they could tell, that a miscarriage was inevitable. My husband is a very stoic man, usually doesn't show a ton of emotion. Him crying with me about broke my heart.

To end the comment on a better note, though: that was late October/early November last year. We got pregnant again fairly quickly and we're 33 weeks with a healthy pregnancy so far.

Marauder424 , MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Finding my childhood diary and reading about how confident and fearless I used to be. Somewhere along the way life just... dimmed that light.

Sweetie-3Cupcake , The Lazy Artist Gallery / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

My older brother went missing for 10 days. He was then found deceased in a reservoir. Just unimaginable grief and shock. I will never be the same.

Ehousk , limoo / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Figuring out you are not as important to someone you love as you thought you would be :) i learnt it the hard way that I am very much replaceable.

comradebambi123 , FOERDER ZONE / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Losing my dog. He was my best friend for 14 years, he died almost 2 1/2 years ago and I still regularly break down into tears just thinking about him.

alsheps , V Marin / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Realizing I'll truly never be loved the way I really want, or really need. Trauma is a monster.

Undead_Bunnyslippers , MART PRODUCTION / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

A friend's little brother died while in high-school.

Hearing their mom at the funeral, I finally understood what crying like a wounded animal sounded like. It was painful.

Trainrot , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Made a deal with several friends to meet up on a certain future date/time/place and one of the keys was that we couldn’t talk about it again, just had to trust that no matter what happened in the intervening years we’d be there.

I made up special personalized gifts for each person and waited in the foggy park for two hours later than the agreed time. Finally broke down and called one of the couples and not only were they not coming they had told the other people they wouldn’t be able to make it so the other couples decided not to come either.

And nobody told me.

F**k those guys.

Celtic_Oak , Anatoliy Valentine / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

My mother telling me she preferred her girlfriend over me because, and I quote, “she was not a pain in her a*s.”
This was at 1 am, when I came home after a day in college and working 2 shifts to help her pay the mortgage. I left the next day. I was 18.

WoodenPhysics5292 , Anastasia Bekker / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

My father died when I was 21 and the same month we found out my mum had cancer. She died when I was 24. She left the house whilst I was out, and I never saw her again. I suppose it was too painful for her to say goodbye. She died a week later in a hospice.

At that point, I was living in a house with my mentally ill half-brother. The same month my mum died, I was r*ped. I moved into a flat alone, and at that point, everything from the previous few years hit me like a truck. I was working full-time but trying to function normally, but grief always catches you up.

Affectionate_Tap6416 , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

My mom died when I was a senior in high school. It all seemed very surreal, and like she had never actually left, since everything of hers was still in the house, where she had left it.

At her funeral, after hearing my brother and sister speak, make morbid jokes (as our family tends to do) and just generally do the normal funeral stuff, it finally hit me. It had been several days since she had passed, but it just hit me all at once like a bag of bricks that I would never hear her voice again. She would never be there to nag me when I needed to take out the trash, clean my room, do my homework, or the million other things that she had to constantly remind me to do.

That was the moment that I broke down and started sobbing. I hadn't shed a tear up until that point--maybe it was shock, I don't know. In that moment I realized that I now lived in a different world, one where I would have to finish growing up without the aid of my mother.

Prize-Ad4912 , Arina Krasnikova / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Losing a family member for the first time. Then coming to terms with the fact that it will keep happening non stop, until my turn comes.

PhoneEquivalent7682 , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Watching my dad one afternoon around sunset, sitting on a bench in our backyard with our new fishing rods, practising his casting for an upcoming fishing trip my brother that I knew he wouldn't make it to.

F**k cancer.

FractalTsunami , Gaspar Zaldo / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

I cared for my brother for three years who had end stage renal failure. He was a non compliant patient and I often had to be on him to eat right , take his meds, bathe. After a while, I had to clean him up when he soiled himself, take him to the hospital several times a week, and transport him to dialysis. In the end, I had to lift him from the floor when he fell, which was often.

One day while lifting him I heard a pop and immediately felt excruciating pain. I had developed a micro fracture in my hip from over exertion. The next time he fell, I implored EMS to help him. I had no choice.

When I visited, he begged me to bring him home, but I couldn’t. It broke my heart to hear him beg to leave. He passed away 8 months after he arrived. I couldn’t even speak for a week.

ReadyDirector9 , Mikhail Nilov / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

When I found out my husband tried to get two other women pregnant a few days after my miscarriage.

thekillertinytoaster , Kaboompics / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

I only found out I had a son 19 years after the break-up when he died in a car crash as a passenger.

Nakadaisuki , Artyom Kulakov / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

My husband suffered a severe traumatic brain injury over ten years ago. He was not at fault in any way. Our children were eight and ten years old at the time and I was in my early thirties. After around seven months in hospitals, I brought my husband home as a diagnosed minimally conscious state patient who requires around the clock care. While I do have nursing, it is not consistent so I fill in several twelve hour shifts a week and have done so for ten years. Our children are grown now. They are healthy and well-rounded adults, for which I am abundantly grateful.

Losing my husband was the greatest heartache of my life, so far. He is here, but not. He loved me deeply and fully and we were best friends. I fully appreciated him in every way. He was in all ways my person and I was his. Not one thing in my life has brought me so much happiness and joy as meeting him and falling in love. We would have been married for thirteen years by the time he was injured, and while we are still technically married, it is hard to feel that way. Our relationship now is one of caregiver and patient. Our kids have moved out for work and college and to live their own lives, which I encouraged because I have not wanted to drag their lives down with our tragedy. They need to build their own futures and that has been my driving force from the moment the fog of initial shock lifted after my husband's injury.

But goddamn if I am not unhappy. And sad. I am perpetually a small trigger from crying at any moment, and I was not a crier before this all happened. The unhappiness is now an integral part of me. Sadness is twisted into my core like bind weed around a willow. My thirties are long gone. He is fairly stable because he is cared for so well in his own home, so he will likely live another ten years or longer, and that means my forties will also be devoted to his care. I can not put him into an institution because to do so would wreck me completely. The internal conflict of seeing my life go away day by day spent caring for his body, the years falling away to never be regained while also wanting to give him the best care possible is something I can not allow myself to think about. It is too painful. I still love this man so much. I miss, I miss, I miss. I feel guilt for even mourning my thirties. I feel guilt for being surprised by how much my face has aged; I am stuck in 2014 when the injury happened. I could write so much more, but this is already too long.

mediocreterran Report

POST

View more comments

My 8 year old cat died of a heart attack last Saturday. He was completely fine one minute and then just collapsed. I didn’t think I would ever stop crying.

That_Cat7243 , RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Losing my childhood pet hit me hard. She was my constant companion through so many ups and downs, and when she passed, it felt like a piece of my heart went with her. It's tough to fill that void, but I cherish the memories we made together.

NoirGleam Report

POST

When my husband and best friend since we were 12 died suddenly when our baby was 8 months old.

Broke again when that baby became a teenage boy the spitting image of his father and sobbed on my shoulder as it hit him just what he’d missed out on in life.

ashenflower Report

POST

" I'm so sorry, there's no heartbeat"

35 weeks pregnant with our first baby.
I kept thinking it was a nightmare then realized it wasn't so it just hit me over and over and over.

Then, the deafening silence when he was born and the 100% knowledge that my baby had actually died.
Even though on a logical level I knew, there was a teeny tiny part of me that thought maybe, just maybe they were wrong.

catfight04 Report

POST

Losing my younger brother who I had been fighting with for months. It still hurts, it never will stop hurting. Tell your loved ones you love them every day, you never know what’s around the corner.

bmiranda3 , Shivansh Sharma / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

When my grandmother was dying, she was in hospice care. On my birthday, she woke up just enought to wish me a happy birthday. She then slipped back into her sleep and didn't wake back up. Listening to what the nurse told me was "the death rattle" still haunts me to this day.

A few days after her death, I was crying to my then (now ex!) boyfriend, who promptly told me I was over reacting to her death. I lost my grandmother, and I lost a big part of that relationship too. I still struggle with crying about loss to my now husband.

Edited: to make it clear I didn't marry that loser.

Vegetable_Edge2901 Report

POST

View more comments

My late wife telling me it was ok to divorce her when she got cancer.

sailirish7 , Tima Miroshnichenko / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Losing my mum when I was 14. I'm 27 now, and it still hurts. I'd do anything just to give her one more hug.

PenguinSmurf , Anastasia Shuraeva / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Confronting my ex about the rumors I had heard that she had cheated on me. When I asked her the question and she took a second to respond I felt like my entire chest collapsed realizing that everything we'd built up until that point was a lie and that I could never trust her again.

StrikerX1360 , Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

35 years of taking 911 calls.

lothcent Report

POST

View more comments

Two things.

Losing my dad suddenly to a heart attack less than a month before my 21st birthday. I completely missed the chance to bond and develop an adult relationship with my Dad.

After that I made sure that I really treasured and built a strong relationship with my mother. We were already best friends but I didn't take her for granted anymore. I'd go over for lunch or dinner 1-2 times a week and we'd have endless laughs and I'd always tell her how much I loved and appreciated her.

Two months out from my 29th birthday my mum suddenly died (a stroke). This hit me hard. To lose my main pillar of strength in my life was an emotional blow I still haven't recovered from.

Since then I've inherited and managed to buy my own place. A wonderful advantage at 31. But inside I have never felt more hollow.

If it weren't for my wonderful fiance I would honestly question the point in going on. She is the kindest person I know and is a big part of my motivation for continuing and excelling in life.

I used to be such a completely joyful and unbridled personality, completely insulated from the harm that life can bring upon you. I miss that version of me. I'm still a good person, I still extract joy from a lot of what I do in life, but I still feel like parts of me died along with my parents.

Thanks for asking this question and allowing me to put into words what I've been through.

Throwaway19938472 , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

When my therapist asked me what I wanted most from my neglectful parents. I told him all I wanted was for them to hug me close and say they're sorry. To tell me that they tried and even though they messed up they can acknowledge that they're human too. 


My therapist leaned forward, looked me right in my eyes and said "I'm so sorry (my name) that will never happen."


Stayed with me for awhile because it was the sudden realization that my parents will never change unless they wanted to themselves. Something I subconsciously knew my whole life but I didn't want it to be true, growing up thinking that 'today will be different' even though it was always the same. 


Even though it tore me it was eventually helped me accept them for who they are and made going NC so much easier. Because I don't see them as Mom and Dad anymore and I haven't since that day.

hazynlazy26 Report

POST

View more comments

I married my college sweetheart after dating for 5 years through college. Then, 6 months later she had an affair on me. The affair lasted 8 months before I discovered it was happening. My life fell to pieces.

Then I decided to change things. I left the US and moved abroad. After living in a foreign country for two years I met a woman. We fell in love and she was the thread that kept me sane and connected to society. After her and I were married I discovered my mother was going through cancer at back in the states. It was also during COVID, which meant traveling was near impossible. Not to mention that I was unable to afford being able to travel. I could not afford to leave my wife behind and quit my job.

Then, the next summer, I discovered my wife was having an affair with a business man in Singapore.

This crushed me to a point where I don’t like to be around people.

Currently, my life is good. I spent some very difficult alone time hiking 3500 km through mountains along the east coast of the US.

In that alone time I learned more about myself than I’ve ever known. I also dealt with my demons.

I’m still very much an introvert and prefer being alone, but I have a good wife now. She’s incredibly talented. She deserves to have a man who is not broken and loves her unconditionally. I’m not that man yet, but I’m doing everything I can to become that man.

The biggest lesson I learned is the things that make life difficult are stepping stones that lead to other opportunities. I’ve also picked up a mantra that I say to myself during good times and bad times.

“Everything is as it should be”.

Nemothafish Report

POST

View more comments

Burnout. It made me insensible and I wasn't able to care enough about others. My girlfriend left me for that reason and when I started to get better I understood exactly what errors I've done. Now i'm healing well but I find still hard to find the desire to search another partner having the fear of repeating the story.

Average_Rogue , Alena Darmel / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Realising my dad actually is the father and more, that I grew up begging to have.. I just wasn’t worth the time and effort but his girlfriend’s kids and grandkids are. They’ve gotten a lifetime of someone that unconditionally loves them, helps them, travels to see them, calls them regularly, has in-jokes with them, makes them laugh, buys them gifts that they’ve wanted because he knows who they are and the things they like, tells them stories and lets them in and learn about who he is.

Meanwhile I’ve begged for him to let me be a part of his life since I was 4. Only just clicked this year he’s got everything and everyone he needs without me, I’m just an obligation and the only one that’s fighting to have a relationship.

AnxiousAnnie555 Report

POST

View more comments

Losing my dad. I’m not super emotional on the topic for the most part. I saw the cancer consume him from the inside, going from a hearty 300lbs to under 100lbs in 10months…But he never complained until the last days…. But I always had someone to call about the dumbest things, laugh about my moms antics, just wholesome moments.. I have had a s****y life in recent years and he is someone who would not have only helped me, talked to me, but also would have helped find a solution.

Lari1012 , cottonbro studio / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Losing my husband that was a family man to another woman. He stopped caring about me and our children and acted like a completely different person. My heart breaks for our children.

pastelrabbit Report

POST

View more comments

When I came to realization that my original hearing would never be restored and I would hear ringing for the rest of my life.

Sohtes , Tima Miroshnichenko / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

Losing the love of my life.

skateurlane Report

POST

Ending an 8 year friendship with my best friend.

Lyok , Marlene Leppänen / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST

View more comments

Knowing without a doubt the person I’m supposed to trust is shady. That bell cannot be unrung.

8475d91 , Antoni Shkraba / pexels (not the actual photo) Report

POST