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There are moments so painful that you wonder if that’s all there is to life—suffering, disappointment, betrayal, and sadness. Though life is much more than just these negative experiences, these events can leave such a deep mark on your mental health that they shape your future for years if not decades to come.
Recently, some incredibly brave AskReddit community members opened up about the most heartbreaking things that have happened to them. We’ve collected the most powerful stories they shared in a very vulnerable online thread. Bored Panda reached out to u/vigilantee001, who sparked the intense and emotional discussion online, and they were kind enough to answer our questions.
Warning, many of these posts deal with deeply traumatic experiences. Some of these stories might make you feel very uncomfortable if you’ve been through something similar. Keep this in mind as you read on.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Trump winning a second term and my realization that I don’t belong in the country I was born in, grew up in and fought for.
Libstak 5 hours ago
I'm just numb, there nothing to say. Every word he spoke was obvious hyperbole and crazy level lies and every choice he is making is corrupt and despicable and so much worse than anything Harris or Biden could ever be accused of, yet here we are. What is there to say anymore? Nothing matters except hate, it leaves you feeling dead inside and everything is just "oh well, this is what the people want".
#2
When I was a child and my dad started hitting me, I realized none of the adults in my life were going to protect me.
I told my mom and she wouldn’t believe me. The next day, I told my teacher, because we had just talked about inappropriate touch the week before. She looked me in the eye and called me a lair. I stopped trusting adults completely. I was 9 years old.
#3
There was a story in the news earlier this year about a middle aged single dad that had a heart attack and died in his home. They found him a couple weeks later with his toddler son who starved to death lying next to him. Even typing this out is making me tear up.
The author of the viral thread was very vulnerable with us when we got in touch with them. They opened up about the scarring experience they had that motivated them to look for other people with similar experiences.
"I had a harrowing experience when a baby died at the hospital, waiting in line, in my arms," u/vigilantee001 opened up to Bored Panda.
They said that this tragedy happened due to pneumonia. "Telling that part exacerbated my whole body. A part of me died that day. My heart was completely devastated."
#4
When my daughter died. I’ve never recovered.
Huddo's sister 2 hours ago
I got caught up in emotion today, thinking about my little brother who died 14 years ago. Most of the time I just think about how happy he was and how much he got out of his short life but today I just kept thinking about how much I miss doing things with him.
#5
Watching my grandad lose to dementia.
David 6 hours ago
Towards the end of her life my grandmother no longer remembered who I was. She had been an awesome grandmother for half a century and I loved her a lot. Double whammy was my mom died a few months before so I was dealing with my mother's estate and became the main visitor for my grandmother because there was nobody else. I would visit my grandmother and let her think I was whoever, then sit in my car afterwards and cry for a while until I was able to drive away.
#6
One of my kindergarteners died in my arms. He had an undiagnosed heart defect.
According to the OP, "you don't come to terms" with events like this. "That was a child that never got a chance at life, like a poorly lit match stick never having a chance to glow," they said.
"You have to find a way to get past that. Intensive therapy can only prevent you from being a nihilist. I have constant therapy to keep me going for now."
#7
Figuring out you are not as important to someone you love as you thought you would be :) i learnt it the hard way that I am very much replaceable.
David 6 hours ago
Been there / done that. 35 years later she is on husband number five and I'm told that has soured. But she is getting too old to keep batting her eyelashes and finding a new knight on a white horse to rescue her so she is sort of stuck with this one since she does not have the money / skills to just go live on her own.
#8
My cat died when I was twelve. Found her in the morning in a bath of urine, completely limp on her favourite pillow.
She was 20 years old, struggled to walk, stand or even sit straight. The evening before I found her she was dragging herself around the house as if searching for me.
She laid on my lap for hours and when I had to go to bed she wouldn't let go. She knew what was coming and wanted to stay with me.
I know this is not as bad as some other stories I read, she was just a cat after all, but I never really recovered.
Her name was Indy, by the way.
#9
My Grandmother raised me. My dad died of a sudden heart attack when I was 8. My mom never got over it, started drinking, so my grandmother, who was 74 at the time, took over for caring for me and my little brother.
She broke her hip when she was in her late nineties, and she had to be put in a nursing home. I would go visit her, by then she had started living in the past. She knew me, but she thought I was still in school and would ask why my brother wasn't home, what we wanted for supper, things like that.
One day I went to see her, and didn't recognize me or know who I was, and didn't speak. That was the most heartbreaking, gut wrenching day of my life. That broke me. Completely. I went to my car and cried like a baby for a long time.
She died at the age of 103, but that was the day I lost her. I didn't cry at her funeral.
hardrad2009 6 hours ago
When my grandpa died I was kind of relieved. The man who was a second (and at some periods first) father to me was gone because of dementia several years prior. It was extremely hard to see him fading away month after month for several years.
Healing from trauma might sound impossible at first. However, with the guidance of a mental health professional, you can begin this healing process. You don't necessarily 'move on,' but you can learn to live with the loss and pain you've experienced. The goal is to get to the point where you can make the most of your life despite the setbacks you've faced.
Furthermore, the continuous support of your loved ones is invaluable. When you know for a fact that somebody has your back no matter what, you feel safer. It's also important that you try to reach out to people who have overcome similar traumas. They can support you, as well as give you practical advice on how to live your life, day by day, now that everything has fundamentally changed.
#10
My older brother went missing for 10 days. He was then found deceased in a reservoir. Just unimaginable grief and shock. I will never be the same.
#11
Losing my dog unexpectedly hit me hard. It felt like a piece of my heart was gone. The house felt emptier, and I missed our little routines. Pets become family, and their absence leaves a big void that's tough to fill.
Tobias Reaper 3 hours ago
my kitty Elsa died over a year ago it was so sudden she seemed fine then one day she had trouble breathing. My mum took her to the vet who diagnosed her with heart failure gave us some medication for her. She deteriorated fast that same day and was suffering her looking up at me and meowing asking for help broke me. Mum took her to the vet to put her to sleep and end her suffering. The thing that broke me even more we have another cat her brother Oscar and when we brought her home after my sister laid her on the floor and Oscar saw her stopped went over and sniffed her. I miss her everyday she was my companion
#12
Got cancer at 27, one year in I discovered my husband I met when I was 14, and had 2 sons with, had a full-blown relationship with one of my best girlfriends, and that had been going on for a year. While she pretended to be my close friend during the worst time of my life, so she could attend my children's birthdays, getting closer to my husband and so on.
Still recovering 9 years later.
At some point, you will have to deal with something so traumatic that it’ll make you question everything you know about life. It might be a serious illness, the loss of a loved one, relationships falling apart, or the realization that the people you’ve trusted might not always have your best interests at heart.
However, life isn’t all about pain and loss, even if it seems that way at times. There are lots of positive experiences, both in your past and your future. And the harsh reality is that life goes on, no matter what happens. The way that we react to and frame traumatic experiences can leave us either more resilient or devastated.
Human beings tend to focus on the negatives more than the positives because it’s useful for survival, from an evolutionary perspective. It’s our brain’s way to keep us safe.
#13
When I found out my husband tried to get two other women pregnant a few days after my miscarriage.
#14
In 2017 my oldest son was waiting for a heart transplant. Around us were 5 other families with their children all waiting for the same. We became a family, taking care of each other, supporting one another. Of the six kids my son is the only one left alive. 5 of those children passed while waiting. I will never be able to shake the sound of those parents when their children passed. The pure anguish and pain in those cries….
Earonn - 1 hour ago
But I don't see "pro life" people demanding obligatory organ donation.... (as far as I am concerned, everyone who protests against abortion should also be forced to live donation, where possible, eg. a kidney. Hey, it's just a small operation and a few changes to your life afterwards, according to them that's not biggie)
#15
My mom died when I was a senior in high school. It all seemed very surreal, and like she had never actually left, since everything of hers was still in the house, where she had left it.
At her funeral, after hearing my brother and sister speak, make morbid jokes (as our family tends to do) and just generally do the normal funeral stuff, it finally hit me. It had been several days since she had passed, but it just hit me all at once like a bag of bricks that I would never hear her voice again. She would never be there to nag me when I needed to take out the trash, clean my room, do my homework, or the million other things that she had to constantly remind me to do.
That was the moment that I broke down and started sobbing. I hadn't shed a tear up until that point--maybe it was shock, I don't know. In that moment I realized that I now lived in a different world, one where I would have to finish growing up without the aid of my mother.
Nadine Debard 6 hours ago
That hits home so hard. I dreamt my mother was still alive and just recovering somewhere, my brain convinced myself that she wasn't dead (in my dreams I met her and hugged her). The awakening was terrible, as I lost her again and again. And I had to fight my own brain, to convince myself that she was dead, to remember her dead body. Finally I won and my brain stopped hurting me each night with deny. How hard it was. It was 9 years ago. Now I'm fine.
“Our tendency to pay more attention to bad things and overlook good things is likely a result of evolution. Earlier in human history, paying attention to bad, dangerous, and negative threats in the world was literally a matter of life and death,” Verywell Mind explains.
In short, people who paid more attention to the bad things happening in their environments were more attuned to danger and, therefore, more likely to survive and spread their genes.
Research conducted by Nobel Prize-winning scientists Kahneman and Tversky found that people tend to place greater weight on negative rather than positive aspects of an event, whenever they make decisions. This means that individuals can sometimes want to avoid loss more than they want to gain something.
#16
Finding my childhood diary and reading about how confident and fearless I used to be. Somewhere along the way life just... dimmed that light.
Susie Elle 4 hours ago
Same. Somewhere I went from a bold, daring and active child to an insecure and troubled teenager and it never quite reverted to the way it was.
#17
A friend's little brother died while in high-school.
Hearing their mom at the funeral, I finally understood what crying like a wounded animal sounded like. It was painful.
Huddo's sister 2 hours ago
I've been to quite a few funerals for children and you can always feel the anguish emanating from the parents, regardless of the style of service. I am thankful most funerals these days are celebrations of people's life rather than a solemn service. You can see what the person truly was like in life, from the songs they liked and the memories shared, to the photos chosen for slideshows. At my little brother's funeral we gave everyone a blue paper butterfly to take home in remembrance, because that was his 'symbol'.
#18
Realizing I'll truly never be loved the way I really want, or really need. Trauma is a monster.
Furthermore, human beings tend to focus on negative information. However, all of this focus on negativity can harm your mental health. You might find yourself dwelling on dark thoughts, hurting your relationships, and generally having a pessimistic perspective on life.
It’s important to be realistic but not pessimistic. If you find yourself trapped in a loop of negativity bias, you can fight back against it by changing how you think. For example, you can reduce negative self-talk. “Instead of fixating on past mistakes that cannot be changed, consider what you have learned and how you might apply that in the future,” Verywell Mind suggests.
#19
Burnout. It made me insensible and I wasn't able to care enough about others. My girlfriend left me for that reason and when I started to get better I understood exactly what errors I've done. Now i'm healing well but I find still hard to find the desire to search another partner having the fear of repeating the story.
Huddo's sister 2 hours ago
One of the reasons I'm not fussed about dating is because I just don't have the mental energy to put someone else first. I have so many periods where I don't talk to anyone, or only do so sporadically, because my anxiety gets bad or my fibromyalgia symptoms flare up. I wouldn't want to put someone through that.
#20
My 8 year old cat died of a heart attack last Saturday. He was completely fine one minute and then just collapsed. I didn’t think I would ever stop crying.
David 5 hours ago
That happened to me about 10 years ago. Me and cat alone in living room. Cat made a sort of surprised grunt noise and just fell over dead. Not sure if heart attack or brain aneurysm but it was something sudden and fatal. There were no signs or sickness in the days leading up to it.
#21
When my husband and I got pregnant for the first time. We were beyond excited, planning the future... Then went to our 10 week appointment/first ultrasound to be told there wasn't a heartbeat. Repeat ultrasound two weeks later showed it had never developed a neural pole (what turns into the brain/spinal column) or cardiac activity of any sort, that it had basically just stopped developing for no reason they could tell, that a miscarriage was inevitable. My husband is a very stoic man, usually doesn't show a ton of emotion. Him crying with me about broke my heart.
To end the comment on a better note, though: that was late October/early November last year. We got pregnant again fairly quickly and we're 33 weeks with a healthy pregnancy so far.
Nadine Debard 4 hours ago (edited)
Happened to me 3 times in a raw, the first was discovered at 12 weeks with the first ultrasound like OP, my belly became to get round, I had nausea each day. My body kept growing an empty sack with a dead embryo. The fourth pregnancy was the happy one.
Moreover, you can try reframing your past (traumatic) experiences in a way that’s more positive and empowering. Depending on the events in your past, you may need a mental health professional’s guidance.
Even changing your day-to-day routines can have a big effect on your mood and thoughts. Spend some time in nature, move more, do the things you love, eat a delicious meal, and be with the people you care about. There’s a lot of good out there in the world. And we’re all tougher than we first think. We just need to remind ourselves of this from time to time, especially in the face of devastation.
#22
Watching my dad one afternoon around sunset, sitting on a bench in our backyard with our new fishing rods, practising his casting for an upcoming fishing trip my brother that I knew he wouldn't make it to.
F**k cancer.
David 6 hours ago (edited)
I have had the same, super close best friend for 50 years. She is currently dying and it is mentally destroying me. It has been about 7 years since she "beat" stage 4 breast cancer. But that is longer than the cancer remission pills are supposed to work. She's been dealing with slowly progressing alzheimer's the past year plus but now the cancer is back and in her bones several places. Just today I found out a recent MRI shows the cancer is also in her brain. Rationally I know I will soon have to adjust to her being gone. But for now it is just massive depression and never leaving my house unless groceries or a doctor appointment demands it.
#23
Made a deal with several friends to meet up on a certain future date/time/place and one of the keys was that we couldn’t talk about it again, just had to trust that no matter what happened in the intervening years we’d be there.
I made up special personalized gifts for each person and waited in the foggy park for two hours later than the agreed time. Finally broke down and called one of the couples and not only were they not coming they had told the other people they wouldn’t be able to make it so the other couples decided not to come either.
And nobody told me.
F**k those guys.
#24
Confronting my ex about the rumors I had heard that she had cheated on me. When I asked her the question and she took a second to respond I felt like my entire chest collapsed realizing that everything we'd built up until that point was a lie and that I could never trust her again.
David 6 hours ago
Been there / done this one as well. Except my then wife was in total denial until it couldn't be denied. I guess technically I confronted her twice but the second time it wasn't about us. I was husband number one. But it was the same deal with husbands four and five. I confronted her privately that it was obvious to me she and 5 were an item. (I didn't care, was just observing body language). She denied it totally until she officially dumped number four for number five. Our kids could see it, which is part of the reason we had the conversation. I digress. The first time was the one that hurt.
#25
Losing a family member for the first time. Then coming to terms with the fact that it will keep happening non stop, until my turn comes.
Huddo's sister 2 hours ago
I have lost a lot of people in my life, but it never really depressed me, thinking they won't be the last. It makes me happy that I have had so many people I loved and was loved by in my life, regardless of the time. Maybe it is because I was so young when I went to my first funeral, or because I always knew two of my brothers had degenerative conditions and wouldn't live very long. We packed so much into those years to make sure they had a great quality of life, and I believe in heaven, so I was sort of prepared for the loss.
#26
I only found out I had a son 19 years after the break-up when he died in a car crash as a passenger.
#27
My mom died when I was 15 after a 10 year battle with recurring oral cancer (she never smoked a day in her life either, just got unlucky). Her death was incredibly painful, however there was something that happened a couple of years prior that I think broke my heart first.
Bit of backstory: My mom was a children’s librarian (she also worked at a children’s bookstore for a while) and one of her favorite parts of her job was getting to do “story times,” for the kids where she’d read to them and they’d do activities she prepared etc. For as long as I knew her she’d read to me and my sister, sung us lullabies, and was always there for advice or encouragement or any other reason we had for talking with her. Words are a very important part of my life and were always central in my perception of her and the way she showed love.
Then they had to remove her tongue.
When she first told us and once it had registered that I would likely never hear her voice again I completely broke down.
That said, she did still manage to speak some - I strongly believe there was nothing that could have stopped her from that - but it was nowhere close to how she could before. She actually made some audio recordings for us the night before her surgery. Personal messages, my favorite lullaby that she used to sing to me, and a couple of my and my sister’s favorite picture books that she used to read for us. I still have them to this day and I am forever grateful they exist.
#28
My late wife telling me it was ok to divorce her when she got cancer.
David 5 hours ago
I'm guessing USA. For those not in the USA, many states have community property laws. Meaning stuff from the marriage belongs to both spouses. Unfortunately that also means bills. The wife dies from cancer, whatever portion of the huge medical bills the insurance doesn't pay, goes to the husband. So -- dead wife plus crippling debt.
#29
My mother telling me she preferred her girlfriend over me because, and I quote, “she was not a pain in her a*s.”
This was at 1 am, when I came home after a day in college and working 2 shifts to help her pay the mortgage. I left the next day. I was 18.
#30
Losing my mum when I was 14. I'm 27 now, and it still hurts. I'd do anything just to give her one more hug.
#31
Losing my younger brother who I had been fighting with for months. It still hurts, it never will stop hurting. Tell your loved ones you love them every day, you never know what’s around the corner.
#32
Losing my dog. He was my best friend for 14 years, he died almost 2 1/2 years ago and I still regularly break down into tears just thinking about him.
whodunnitfan2013 6 hours ago
I went through this again last December, and dread when it happens again.
#33
My father died when I was 21 and the same month we found out my mum had cancer. She died when I was 24. She left the house whilst I was out, and I never saw her again. I suppose it was too painful for her to say goodbye. She died a week later in a hospice.
At that point, I was living in a house with my mentally ill half-brother. The same month my mum died, I was r*ped. I moved into a flat alone, and at that point, everything from the previous few years hit me like a truck. I was working full-time but trying to function normally, but grief always catches you up.
#34
" I'm so sorry, there's no heartbeat"
35 weeks pregnant with our first baby.
I kept thinking it was a nightmare then realized it wasn't so it just hit me over and over and over.
Then, the deafening silence when he was born and the 100% knowledge that my baby had actually died.
Even though on a logical level I knew, there was a teeny tiny part of me that thought maybe, just maybe they were wrong.
#35
I cared for my brother for three years who had end stage renal failure. He was a non compliant patient and I often had to be on him to eat right , take his meds, bathe. After a while, I had to clean him up when he soiled himself, take him to the hospital several times a week, and transport him to dialysis. In the end, I had to lift him from the floor when he fell, which was often.
One day while lifting him I heard a pop and immediately felt excruciating pain. I had developed a micro fracture in my hip from over exertion. The next time he fell, I implored EMS to help him. I had no choice.
When I visited, he begged me to bring him home, but I couldn’t. It broke my heart to hear him beg to leave. He passed away 8 months after he arrived. I couldn’t even speak for a week.
#36
Ending an 8 year friendship with my best friend.
David 5 hours ago
I had a good friend ghost me long before the term ghosting was a thing. I never understood why. I was sad but finally stopped trying to contact since after a while it became obvious it was intentional. Fast forward about 25 years and a year or two ago I found out from his ex wife why he is mad at me. He is mad about something THAT NEVER HAPPENED. Had he talked to me about it instead of ghosting me we probably could have worked out the misunderstanding. Instead he chose not to hear my side of the story. The whole thing seems worse to me because one of the things I respect about him is he is a very smart, very logical thinker. (sigh)
#37
My husband suffered a severe traumatic brain injury over ten years ago. He was not at fault in any way. Our children were eight and ten years old at the time and I was in my early thirties. After around seven months in hospitals, I brought my husband home as a diagnosed minimally conscious state patient who requires around the clock care. While I do have nursing, it is not consistent so I fill in several twelve hour shifts a week and have done so for ten years. Our children are grown now. They are healthy and well-rounded adults, for which I am abundantly grateful.
Losing my husband was the greatest heartache of my life, so far. He is here, but not. He loved me deeply and fully and we were best friends. I fully appreciated him in every way. He was in all ways my person and I was his. Not one thing in my life has brought me so much happiness and joy as meeting him and falling in love. We would have been married for thirteen years by the time he was injured, and while we are still technically married, it is hard to feel that way. Our relationship now is one of caregiver and patient. Our kids have moved out for work and college and to live their own lives, which I encouraged because I have not wanted to drag their lives down with our tragedy. They need to build their own futures and that has been my driving force from the moment the fog of initial shock lifted after my husband's injury.
But goddamn if I am not unhappy. And sad. I am perpetually a small trigger from crying at any moment, and I was not a crier before this all happened. The unhappiness is now an integral part of me. Sadness is twisted into my core like bind weed around a willow. My thirties are long gone. He is fairly stable because he is cared for so well in his own home, so he will likely live another ten years or longer, and that means my forties will also be devoted to his care. I can not put him into an institution because to do so would wreck me completely. The internal conflict of seeing my life go away day by day spent caring for his body, the years falling away to never be regained while also wanting to give him the best care possible is something I can not allow myself to think about. It is too painful. I still love this man so much. I miss, I miss, I miss. I feel guilt for even mourning my thirties. I feel guilt for being surprised by how much my face has aged; I am stuck in 2014 when the injury happened. I could write so much more, but this is already too long.
#38
Knowing without a doubt the person I’m supposed to trust is shady. That bell cannot be unrung.
#39
When I came to realization that my original hearing would never be restored and I would hear ringing for the rest of my life.
#40
Losing my dad. I’m not super emotional on the topic for the most part. I saw the cancer consume him from the inside, going from a hearty 300lbs to under 100lbs in 10months…But he never complained until the last days…. But I always had someone to call about the dumbest things, laugh about my moms antics, just wholesome moments.. I have had a s****y life in recent years and he is someone who would not have only helped me, talked to me, but also would have helped find a solution.
#41
Realising my dad actually is the father and more, that I grew up begging to have.. I just wasn’t worth the time and effort but his girlfriend’s kids and grandkids are. They’ve gotten a lifetime of someone that unconditionally loves them, helps them, travels to see them, calls them regularly, has in-jokes with them, makes them laugh, buys them gifts that they’ve wanted because he knows who they are and the things they like, tells them stories and lets them in and learn about who he is.
Meanwhile I’ve begged for him to let me be a part of his life since I was 4. Only just clicked this year he’s got everything and everyone he needs without me, I’m just an obligation and the only one that’s fighting to have a relationship.
#42
When my therapist asked me what I wanted most from my neglectful parents. I told him all I wanted was for them to hug me close and say they're sorry. To tell me that they tried and even though they messed up they can acknowledge that they're human too.
My therapist leaned forward, looked me right in my eyes and said "I'm so sorry (my name) that will never happen."
Stayed with me for awhile because it was the sudden realization that my parents will never change unless they wanted to themselves. Something I subconsciously knew my whole life but I didn't want it to be true, growing up thinking that 'today will be different' even though it was always the same.
Even though it tore me it was eventually helped me accept them for who they are and made going NC so much easier. Because I don't see them as Mom and Dad anymore and I haven't since that day.
#43
Losing my husband that was a family man to another woman. He stopped caring about me and our children and acted like a completely different person. My heart breaks for our children.
Earonn - 1 hour ago
How are parents capable of just 'forgetting' their children? It's as if they never loved them in the first place. And how can they live with themselves acting like that? The only explanation, from seeing my ex just 'forgetting' about the cat HE wanted so much, after he moved out, is "out of sight, out of mind". But we have old childhood friends we haven't seen for years and they still mean something to us, so how can these people act like this? I just don't get it, but I do know that these parents should be called, and see themselves as, useless c***s.
#44
35 years of taking 911 calls.
David 5 hours ago
That would be hard. The jobs that deal with "ugly" on a routine basis take their toll. Soldiers in war, police and dispatchers, child protection workers, the folks that screen social sites for child porn. Probably even being an animal vet given how often they have to tell people their beloved Fluffy can't be saved.
#45
When my grandmother was dying, she was in hospice care. On my birthday, she woke up just enought to wish me a happy birthday. She then slipped back into her sleep and didn't wake back up. Listening to what the nurse told me was "the death rattle" still haunts me to this day.
A few days after her death, I was crying to my then (now ex!) boyfriend, who promptly told me I was over reacting to her death. I lost my grandmother, and I lost a big part of that relationship too. I still struggle with crying about loss to my now husband.
Edited: to make it clear I didn't marry that loser.
HarriMissesScotland 6 hours ago
My grandmother died the day before my birthday. My husband was not supportive even though I cared for his mother after a stroke. I miss her everyday.
#46
When my husband and best friend since we were 12 died suddenly when our baby was 8 months old.
Broke again when that baby became a teenage boy the spitting image of his father and sobbed on my shoulder as it hit him just what he’d missed out on in life.
#47
Two things.
Losing my dad suddenly to a heart attack less than a month before my 21st birthday. I completely missed the chance to bond and develop an adult relationship with my Dad.
After that I made sure that I really treasured and built a strong relationship with my mother. We were already best friends but I didn't take her for granted anymore. I'd go over for lunch or dinner 1-2 times a week and we'd have endless laughs and I'd always tell her how much I loved and appreciated her.
Two months out from my 29th birthday my mum suddenly died (a stroke). This hit me hard. To lose my main pillar of strength in my life was an emotional blow I still haven't recovered from.
Since then I've inherited and managed to buy my own place. A wonderful advantage at 31. But inside I have never felt more hollow.
If it weren't for my wonderful fiance I would honestly question the point in going on. She is the kindest person I know and is a big part of my motivation for continuing and excelling in life.
I used to be such a completely joyful and unbridled personality, completely insulated from the harm that life can bring upon you. I miss that version of me. I'm still a good person, I still extract joy from a lot of what I do in life, but I still feel like parts of me died along with my parents.
Thanks for asking this question and allowing me to put into words what I've been through.
#48
I married my college sweetheart after dating for 5 years through college. Then, 6 months later she had an affair on me. The affair lasted 8 months before I discovered it was happening. My life fell to pieces.
Then I decided to change things. I left the US and moved abroad. After living in a foreign country for two years I met a woman. We fell in love and she was the thread that kept me sane and connected to society. After her and I were married I discovered my mother was going through cancer at back in the states. It was also during COVID, which meant traveling was near impossible. Not to mention that I was unable to afford being able to travel. I could not afford to leave my wife behind and quit my job.
Then, the next summer, I discovered my wife was having an affair with a business man in Singapore.
This crushed me to a point where I don’t like to be around people.
Currently, my life is good. I spent some very difficult alone time hiking 3500 km through mountains along the east coast of the US.
In that alone time I learned more about myself than I’ve ever known. I also dealt with my demons.
I’m still very much an introvert and prefer being alone, but I have a good wife now. She’s incredibly talented. She deserves to have a man who is not broken and loves her unconditionally. I’m not that man yet, but I’m doing everything I can to become that man.
The biggest lesson I learned is the things that make life difficult are stepping stones that lead to other opportunities. I’ve also picked up a mantra that I say to myself during good times and bad times.
“Everything is as it should be”.
#50
Losing my childhood pet hit me hard. She was my constant companion through so many ups and downs, and when she passed, it felt like a piece of my heart went with her. It's tough to fill that void, but I cherish the memories we made together.
#51
My fiancé breaking up with me 6 months before the wedding because her family was sure my family was poor and got into her head so bad she started nitpicking everything I did. They actually acted like she was the dumbest person on earth to marry someone like me and she just couldn't take it anymore. I swear I would have been better off if she cheated on me than that. After that day I actually do not remember anything that happened for the next 1.5 years. I have no recollection of anything. I also quit my job so I guess I just existed at my family's house until I had a wake up call and got my s**t together. I do not have a happy ending by the way. I have a nice job that lets me visit other countries several times a year for work and I guess that's nice but relationship-wise I am done.
#52
Divorce after 24 years and some change.
And the fact that he f****d me over in the divorce papers where I got nothing despite contributing financially to the marriage for many years continues to break my heart every single day.
#53
Love is not enough.
My dad took his life a few years ago. He was a beloved member of the community and had nine kids who adored him.
You cannot convince someone to stay because you “love them”, it isn’t enough.
Bewarethere@gmail.com 6 hours ago
People telling you ur loved isn't the same as showing u that u r loved
#54
When my ex told me she and her family make fun of me behind my back. I can take other people making fun of me, but knowing that my girlfriend was a part of it... It makes you feel a specific type of alone.
#55
My brother died from s*icide 2 and a half years ago at 18. Myself and my family haven’t been the same since.
#56
When my 13 year old told me his bio dad had been abusing him every weekend visit since he was 3. He is 17 now and has never seen him since the day he told me. After a lot of therapy he's in a great place now but man, my heart broke into a million pieces that day!
#57
February 20th 2023. Woke up without my boyfriend beside me. I went to check if he had moved to the couch (he snored so this wasn’t out of the ordinary) he wasn’t there. The bathroom door was shut. I knocked without an answer. When I tried to open it, it was obstructed by his body. Initially I thought he had passed out. I screamed for him to wake up. He never did. He was the love of my life. I know heart break after that. I felt my heart completely break. Haven’t been the same since.
#60
I know it's a cliché but my first break up from my first serious relationship. We weren't that long together but i was madly in love with her.
But it wasn't just a break up, she said she was sick and tired of my b******t but only a week later i found out that she was already together with her ex-boyfriend.
Which she also cheated on me with him a few months before, but since i loved her i forgave her.
So yeah, i still remember that s**t hurting like hell.
#61
My pet died January 1st this year. I’ve opened the garage door and he ran to the street and there was a car driving by. I’ve burst into desperate tears knowing I would never have him near me ever again. Writing this also broke my heart for the second time….
#63
Pinning for someone who's clearly not interested you.
Person u called a brother for 80% of your life suddenly becoming a stranger. He didn't even tell me he already left for abroad.
The latter left me a hole in my heart which I dont know will ever be healed.
#64
A good friend of mine's son struggled with depression and anxiety. Mainly due to the fact he was 19 and uncertain about his future. He signed on for the Navy, which made everyone proud. He was days away from leaving when he had gone to sleep on Christmas Eve. The next morning he never woke up. His mother found him cold to the touch. At first they said it was s*icide but it was later determined he had taken a Xanax he got from a dealer. Turns out it was laced with f*ntanyl. My friend never recovered from the tragedy and ultimately took his own life.
#65
After 15 years together, my partner said they were polyamorous. The absolute soul crushing and the feeling of wasting years of my life to come to this point of truly never being enough.
I tried so hard to make the relationship work, but it was like a slap in the face. After that, my now ex came out as trans, but I was already so done that I just wanted my ex to move out and live this new life while I healed.
I'm better now.
#66
A partner of almost 5 years cheating on me, after many late night soul beating conversations about how both of us had been cheated on before and how much it hurt. The difference was none of those other relationships lasted that long.
Been with my now fiance for 4 years, and I love her to death. But there’s a scared, broken part of me that’s f****d up now and secretly waiting for the day she does the same.
#67
When the Amazon prime truck ran over my dog on our driveway with giant speed “humps” while my husband and I were screaming at him to slow down.
Yes losing my dog broke my heart, but losing her to “stuff” bought from Amazon was like sticking in a knife and twisting. We really had to sit back to do a double take on our priorities and how we interact with the world.
#68
My sister dying last year. It was unexpected and she was 24, someone in a semi hit her. I didn’t get to say goodbye while she was conscious, I hope she could hear us in her coma.
#69
The death of my middle sister. I think any outside observer would have wagered her to outlive us all. It was quite a shock when she passed, and watching my 9 year old niece tell her goodbye on her deathbed wrung me out. Completely.
#70
I found out my girlfriend of 8 years had been with another man 4 years ago and had lied to me the whole time about it. We had separated and we're living separately at the time but we were still seeing each other.
She was in a relationship with this man for 9 months, while also spending lots of time with me, even sent me photos while she was on holiday "alone" (with him).
She lied because she knew that if she told me about him I never would have agreed to get back together.
She still doesn't understand what she did wrong, and still lies and won't tell me the full details.
We have a 19 month old daughter, I found out 5 months ago.
#71
My wife told me to just leave and not come back when she was pregnant. I may have had it coming with how little I was around at the time, but I was trying to make sure we had enough to prepare a nursery for two and was still attending college when she said it.
I never felt so broken that day and she knew it when I broke down crying in our car.
#72
My childhood best friend was very much like a brother to me. We were inseparable. When we entered high school he tired of being compared to his older brothers by his parents and rebelled. One day his mom was dressing him down in front of me and then asked him why he couldn’t be more like me. At that point he began to distance himself from me until we just weren’t spending any time together.
When I was 25 I took a job out of the area so I looked him up thinking that I might not ever see him again. He was happy to hear from me and invited me over. When I arrived, he and his friends were playing pool, getting drunk and giving each other tattoos. Realizing I no longer had anything in common with him I stayed perhaps 5 minutes and left.
30 years later I tracked him down. I was going to be in the area and asked if he wanted to meet for lunch. He was very happy to hear from me. He was married and had two adult children. We met for lunch and despite the fact that he looked awful (the hard life he had lived due to a combination of bad luck and bad choices was evident), it was like we were kids again. The same sweet guy I palled around with, who at the time was more of a brother to me than my own brothers, reappeared. We vowed to be in each other’s lives again. It was great to have him back.
About a month later one of his sister’s called. He had gone out for a walk the night before and never returned. The next day he was found dead in the parking lot of a nearby office complex. An autopsy and security footage from a camera told the story. He had stopped to get something out of his day pack when a lifetime of smoking finally caught up with him. He had a massive heart attack and died instantly.
I cried on the phone with his sister for half an hour. I texted my wife (who was out shopping with our two kids) what happened. When they got home my daughter found me and said she was sorry to hear about what happened. I thanked her. I figured I was over the initial grief of it all. I went into the kitchen to find my wife. She put her arms around me and told me how sorry she was about what happened. I just burst into tears.
Growing up he truly was my very best friend and more of a brother to me than my own brothers. I had a grandfather die, uncles and aunts but I was expecting that and they weren’t particularly close to me. My friend’s death was the first time I lost someone truly close.
That was in 2016 and I still think about him often.
#73
I’m currently pregnant with our second child on hospitalized bedrest. I’m 1.5 hours away from my family. I see my 2 year old every few weeks, and I feel like I like in absolute hell every single day. I’m confined to a room and am not allowed outside. I’m not allowed to walk around at all. The food is terrible to say the least. The worst part is not having my child though. I feel like I’ve been stripped of everything. I still have 60 more days to go. I will never be the same person after this.
#74
Getting dropped by a friend group that I considered family. Got in a situation with one person and we could’ve talked about it and solved it like adults, instead he chose to act like. 16 year old and all the others just stood behind him even though I’ve been with them longer. Fell into a deep depression and am still trying to recover.
#75
Had a good friend in high school I left school early for a job and we caught up one weekend got lunch went to the beach laughed talked s**t dropped her off at her house hugged said we need to catch up more often and then she never spoke to me again wouldn’t reply to my texts/calls it’s been a few years but I’m still gutted about it one of the few friends I had.
#76
Asking a girl out and being told she didn't want a boyfriend. Then two weeks later she had one.
#77
Stupidly married my narcissistic abusive ex husband. At the wedding we asked for money instead of wedding gifts to go towards our honeymoon.
After the wedding I went to book the honeymoon when he told me "I cannot think of anything *worse* than spending a week alone with you". He took the money and spent the week that I had booked off work drinking with his friends.
I divorced him shortly after.
In a way I'm glad he said it because it finally opened my eyes to how much I'd been under his spell, and gave me the kick I needed to leave.
But boy, did it hurt.
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Naeem Sader 20 minutes ago
Any of the following: Lost my Dad when I was 6 years old, he had a heart attack in his sleep Lost the vision in my right eye when I was 21 years old due to a car accident Lost my youngest brother and best friend when I was 31 years old and he was only 23 yrs old, he drowned after being caught in a rip tide while on holiday with his buddies I am now 46 years old and most of this year has been spent fighting Hodgkins lymphoma, receving 12 sessions of chemo and being lucky to have it go into remission which I found out a few weeks ago sudden onset early hearing loss (sensory neural hearing loss) for no apparent reason and dealing with worsening tinnitus as the weeks go by BUT I AM STILL HERE AND HOPE TO BE AROUND FOR A WHILE LONGER TO SEE MY KIDS GROW:)
Tobias Reaper 3 hours ago
There has been to many but a couple of things stand out. My nephew is autistic and when he was about 6 he got upset about something and was saying by brain is broken and was crying it really hurt. The other i helped my best friend get away from her abusive ex and after a few months of being away from him while talking she told me i am ready to be happy again.
Naeem Sader 20 minutes ago
Any of the following: Lost my Dad when I was 6 years old, he had a heart attack in his sleep Lost the vision in my right eye when I was 21 years old due to a car accident Lost my youngest brother and best friend when I was 31 years old and he was only 23 yrs old, he drowned after being caught in a rip tide while on holiday with his buddies I am now 46 years old and most of this year has been spent fighting Hodgkins lymphoma, receving 12 sessions of chemo and being lucky to have it go into remission which I found out a few weeks ago sudden onset early hearing loss (sensory neural hearing loss) for no apparent reason and dealing with worsening tinnitus as the weeks go by BUT I AM STILL HERE AND HOPE TO BE AROUND FOR A WHILE LONGER TO SEE MY KIDS GROW:)
Tobias Reaper 3 hours ago
There has been to many but a couple of things stand out. My nephew is autistic and when he was about 6 he got upset about something and was saying by brain is broken and was crying it really hurt. The other i helped my best friend get away from her abusive ex and after a few months of being away from him while talking she told me i am ready to be happy again.
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