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“It Still Hurts”: 50 Experiences That Broke People’s Hearts Into A Million Pieces
Interview
There are moments so painful that you wonder if that’s all there is to life—suffering, disappointment, betrayal, and sadness. Though life is much more than just these negative experiences, these events can leave such a deep mark on your mental health that they shape your future for years if not decades to come.
Recently, some incredibly brave AskReddit community members opened up about the most heartbreaking things that have happened to them. We’ve collected the most powerful stories they shared in a very vulnerable online thread. Bored Panda reached out to u/vigilantee001, who sparked the intense and emotional discussion online, and they were kind enough to answer our questions.
Warning, many of these posts deal with deeply traumatic experiences. Some of these stories might make you feel very uncomfortable if you’ve been through something similar. Keep this in mind as you read on.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Trump winning a second term and my realization that I don’t belong in the country I was born in, grew up in and fought for.
Libstak 1 year ago
I'm just numb, there nothing to say. Every word he spoke was obvious hyperbole and crazy level lies and every choice he is making is corrupt and despicable and so much worse than anything Harris or Biden could ever be accused of, yet here we are. What is there to say anymore? Nothing matters except hate, it leaves you feeling dead inside and everything is just "oh well, this is what the people want".
Tracy Sellars 1 year ago
I think the hardest realization is the majority of Americans are filled with selfish uneducated hate and the rest have lived with a delusion that people are nice at heart.
Sara Frazer 1 year ago (edited)
Oof, that hit right in the feels. I guess I'm one of those people who thought most people are kind and caring. It's been a double whammy since the orange turd won once; already shattering that belief. Then I and I'm sure millions like me were expecting something terrible/worse for 2020, then Biden won, which gave us this renewed hope that the world wasn't so bad. Then we continued hoping, until just recently with the new US election, then I think the hopes for a good world were smashed at least 10x as hard. It's been a rollercoaster, one I wish we didn't have to ride. Yay. We got a r@pist felon as "president", and the time this monster is in office my daughter will become a teenager.
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Gunný Petersen 1 year ago
How can a convicted fellon get to be president when convicted fellons can't vote in the US?? Just How?
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago
How?? Well because Trump was convicted in New York and in 2021 the state of New York passed a law that allows people with felony convictions to vote, as long as they are not serving a term of incarceration at the time of the election.
Load More Replies... Kelly Scott 1 year ago
Unbelievable to me that service members actually voted for this orange clown and after he called dead Marines losers and suckers yet.
Skogsrået 1 year ago (edited)
Just read something about that, don't know what to think though: https://www.planetcritical.com/p/cyber-security-experts-warn-election-hacked
Kanashimi Cat 1 year ago
I wonder if this was the "secret weapon" some high office Repubs were snickering about.
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Lukas Hörmann 1 year ago
Even I´m shocked as an non American! It´s just racist and sexist that Harris got so low votes!
Jaaawn 1 year ago
Is it really a case of sexism or just a case of not being the right candidate? If we survive WWIII, I'm pretty sure you'll get a woman president as the world often needs a kick up the a**e as a wake-up call.
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Cara Vinson 1 year ago
I am so discouraged. Is this really who we are? Hateful, spiteful, corrupt, and stupid? I guess so. I am teaching young people to garden and can their own food. They are afraid.
Skywitness 1 year ago
I know the feeling. My father fought against fascism through North Africa and Italy. I served in the military too. I cringe at the idea that a majority of voters wanted this along with his sycophants. Round 1 was a four year dumpster fire. Round 2 is the revenge tour.
RELATED:
#2
My cat died when I was twelve. Found her in the morning in a bath of urine, completely limp on her favourite pillow.
She was 20 years old, struggled to walk, stand or even sit straight. The evening before I found her she was dragging herself around the house as if searching for me.
She laid on my lap for hours and when I had to go to bed she wouldn't let go. She knew what was coming and wanted to stay with me.
I know this is not as bad as some other stories I read, she was just a cat after all, but I never really recovered.
Her name was Indy, by the way.
Aidan Pite 1 year ago
My cat died yesterday. The vet said she threw a clot that paralyzed her back end. She just flopped down in a corner and started wheezing. She was only six :(
Rachel Pannell 1 year ago
Our cat died in March in similar circumstances, he was 5. He collapsed, had a seizure and was gone - otherwise perfectly healthy. The shock made me cry on and off for about a week. My vet put it down to a clot too, probably caused a fatal stroke. RIP Leo.
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ROSESARERED 1 year ago
I miss scamp my big beautiful ginger , I miss him everyday, he's been gone for 30 years, and it still makes me cry😢
Steve Robert 1 year ago
You are not alone. When my cats died, I was devastated. The saddest part of having a pet is outliving them. It actually hurts more than losing a parent.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
I had a pet rat who was clearly about to go, but she kept reaching for me, asking desperately to be picked up. So I took her out of the cage and cuddled her. Minutes later, she passed. She refused to die without me there to hold her.
#3
When I was a child and my dad started hitting me, I realized none of the adults in my life were going to protect me.
I told my mom and she wouldn’t believe me. The next day, I told my teacher, because we had just talked about inappropriate touch the week before. She looked me in the eye and called me a lair. I stopped trusting adults completely. I was 9 years old.
Kelly Scott 1 year ago
I remember my mom always saying that she would never stay with a husband who hit her. One day I looked her in the eye and said, "But you let him beat us when we were little!" She said that we deserved it. Yeah, I really deserved being grabbed by the neck and slammed against a wall. And then constantly yelled at for the counseling we had to go to when I told my guidance counselor.
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
I was in a caregiver position when a kid started making claims about being abused. It later turned out the kid was lying and had done this before to get himself out of trouble. WE MADE A FULL REPORT AND CONTACTED THE PROPER AUTHORITIES ANYWAY. Which is what you SHOULD do. Whether you personally believe it is 100% irrelevant.
LuisSD stuff 1 year ago
Teachers today don't have the guts. Find one who will stop a student from being bullied. And teachers moan and b***h they don't get paid enough. Try being a real teacher that makes a different instead of wasting space in a classroom.
The author of the viral thread was very vulnerable with us when we got in touch with them. They opened up about the scarring experience they had that motivated them to look for other people with similar experiences.
"I had a harrowing experience when a baby died at the hospital, waiting in line, in my arms," u/vigilantee001 opened up to Bored Panda.
They said that this tragedy happened due to pneumonia. "Telling that part exacerbated my whole body. A part of me died that day. My heart was completely devastated."
#4
One of my kindergarteners died in my arms. He had an undiagnosed heart defect.
Lila Allen 1 year ago
It means more to his parents than she could know that he was held and comforted.
Load More Replies... #5
My Grandmother raised me. My dad died of a sudden heart attack when I was 8. My mom never got over it, started drinking, so my grandmother, who was 74 at the time, took over for caring for me and my little brother.
She broke her hip when she was in her late nineties, and she had to be put in a nursing home. I would go visit her, by then she had started living in the past. She knew me, but she thought I was still in school and would ask why my brother wasn't home, what we wanted for supper, things like that.
One day I went to see her, and didn't recognize me or know who I was, and didn't speak. That was the most heartbreaking, gut wrenching day of my life. That broke me. Completely. I went to my car and cried like a baby for a long time.
She died at the age of 103, but that was the day I lost her. I didn't cry at her funeral.
hardrad2009 1 year ago
When my grandpa died I was kind of relieved. The man who was a second (and at some periods first) father to me was gone because of dementia several years prior. It was extremely hard to see him fading away month after month for several years.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago
It truly is a horrible disease. I've worked in healthcare with dementia and Alzheimer's patients and it is very heartbreaking to see the person you once knew slowly decline. I'm sorry for your loss and I feel for those who have lost loved ones to this disease.
Load More Replies... Deborah 1 year ago
My mom had dementia at the end, was living in her own apartment with aides. She was my best friend. Then she didn't know who I was, just "the lady with the little dog." (Her 'granddog', as she used to say). She'd still pet and hold my dog. Then one day she ignored my dog and didn't want me to touch her. She died a few days later, at 96. I did my mourning as the wonderful person I knew drifted away.
Papa 1 year ago
Earlier this year my mother went to the Senior Center with a friend to eat lunch and play bingo. While she was there she either fell and broke her hip, or, what I believe really happened, her hip broke and then she fell. In any case, she was suffering from some cognitive decline already, which I believe contributed to her refusing to do therapy after the surgery. Because she wouldn't do therapy she never got strong enough to walk again, so she'll live the rest of her life in the nursing home. We never got along well, but it's heartbreaking to know that she left her house that morning and never got to go back.
#6
Losing my dog unexpectedly hit me hard. It felt like a piece of my heart was gone. The house felt emptier, and I missed our little routines. Pets become family, and their absence leaves a big void that's tough to fill.
Tobias Reaper 1 year ago
my kitty Elsa died over a year ago it was so sudden she seemed fine then one day she had trouble breathing. My mum took her to the vet who diagnosed her with heart failure gave us some medication for her. She deteriorated fast that same day and was suffering her looking up at me and meowing asking for help broke me. Mum took her to the vet to put her to sleep and end her suffering. The thing that broke me even more we have another cat her brother Oscar and when we brought her home after my sister laid her on the floor and Oscar saw her stopped went over and sniffed her. I miss her everyday she was my companion
Deborah 1 year ago
Over the course of my life, 2 dogs and 2 horses died. The dogs and one horse I knew it was coming, but it didn't hurt any the less. The one horse died suddenly, of colic. In the space of a day. The barn manager told me he'd shown no signs until he screamed and went down in his stall. He was 2 weeks shy of his 26th birthday. That was 2001. I miss the others, but can talk of them without crying - after a varying number of years - but that one horse, there was no closure as there was with the others, and it's only now I can speak of him easily.
Puppy Dancing! 1 year ago (edited)
I got another dog, made a huge difference.Now I get a new dog before my old dog dies.
According to the OP, "you don't come to terms" with events like this. "That was a child that never got a chance at life, like a poorly lit match stick never having a chance to glow," they said.
"You have to find a way to get past that. Intensive therapy can only prevent you from being a nihilist. I have constant therapy to keep me going for now."
#7
In 2017 my oldest son was waiting for a heart transplant. Around us were 5 other families with their children all waiting for the same. We became a family, taking care of each other, supporting one another. Of the six kids my son is the only one left alive. 5 of those children passed while waiting. I will never be able to shake the sound of those parents when their children passed. The pure anguish and pain in those cries….
Earonn - 1 year ago
But I don't see "pro life" people demanding obligatory organ donation.... (as far as I am concerned, everyone who protests against abortion should also be forced to live donation, where possible, eg. a kidney. Hey, it's just a small operation and a few changes to your life afterwards, according to them that's not biggie)
David 1 year ago
over 90% of stranger to stanger organ donations are from religious people. In fact Orthodox Jews are 0.3% of the US Population, but 18% of all stranger to stranger live organ donations. Mormons are also very high on this list.
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#8
My mom died when I was 15 after a 10 year battle with recurring oral cancer (she never smoked a day in her life either, just got unlucky). Her death was incredibly painful, however there was something that happened a couple of years prior that I think broke my heart first.
Bit of backstory: My mom was a children’s librarian (she also worked at a children’s bookstore for a while) and one of her favorite parts of her job was getting to do “story times,” for the kids where she’d read to them and they’d do activities she prepared etc. For as long as I knew her she’d read to me and my sister, sung us lullabies, and was always there for advice or encouragement or any other reason we had for talking with her. Words are a very important part of my life and were always central in my perception of her and the way she showed love.
Then they had to remove her tongue.
When she first told us and once it had registered that I would likely never hear her voice again I completely broke down.
That said, she did still manage to speak some - I strongly believe there was nothing that could have stopped her from that - but it was nowhere close to how she could before. She actually made some audio recordings for us the night before her surgery. Personal messages, my favorite lullaby that she used to sing to me, and a couple of my and my sister’s favorite picture books that she used to read for us. I still have them to this day and I am forever grateful they exist.
Montanavanna 1 year ago
I worked for a woman that taught me all the great things I know about cooking. Not just the technique but how food connects us all and preparing someone a meal is an act of love and connection. She had throat cancer that took her larynx and destroyed her esophagus. She could no longer eat like before and lost one of her favorite things. Enjoying a meal with people and building connections that way. I felt OP's story. Illness destroys so much more than just our physical health.
#9
Watching my grandad lose to dementia.
David 1 year ago
Towards the end of her life my grandmother no longer remembered who I was. She had been an awesome grandmother for half a century and I loved her a lot. Double whammy was my mom died a few months before so I was dealing with my mother's estate and became the main visitor for my grandmother because there was nobody else. I would visit my grandmother and let her think I was whoever, then sit in my car afterwards and cry for a while until I was able to drive away.
Nadine Debard 1 year ago (edited)
My grandma and my husband's grandma got dementia. My own grandma sang her childhood songs and then did a 180° and became a 'mafia granny', threatening people she disliked with '2 shots in the forehead'. She seemed quite well and happy, though (she had many people around her even if she didn't remember). My husband's granny (died at 93) once mixed me with one of my (thin) inlaws, slapped my thig and said 'wow, you're doing well!' (which meant you're fat) and I answered 'better make envy than pity' and we laughed.
Load More Replies... ROSESARERED 1 year ago
I lost my dad yo dementia...the last time he had a mostly good day, a couple of months before he died, he looked at me and said...I don't know who you are, but I know I love you....a wonderful memory, love triumphed over this horrible disease...miss you father dear
Major Harris 1 year ago
my uncle, a rhodes scholar and a noted shakespearean scholar, died not knowing his own name.
Marianne Grann 1 year ago
My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimers for 14 years before she passed away - I had the sweetest mother, she never deserved this and neither did our family.
Healing from trauma might sound impossible at first. However, with the guidance of a mental health professional, you can begin this healing process. You don't necessarily 'move on,' but you can learn to live with the loss and pain you've experienced. The goal is to get to the point where you can make the most of your life despite the setbacks you've faced.
Furthermore, the continuous support of your loved ones is invaluable. When you know for a fact that somebody has your back no matter what, you feel safer. It's also important that you try to reach out to people who have overcome similar traumas. They can support you, as well as give you practical advice on how to live your life, day by day, now that everything has fundamentally changed.
#10
There was a story in the news earlier this year about a middle aged single dad that had a heart attack and died in his home. They found him a couple weeks later with his toddler son who starved to death lying next to him. Even typing this out is making me tear up.
Sean Bantha Milk Co 1 year ago
I read this story when my son was the same age as the kid and I don't think a week has passed when I don't think about it.
TooTrue 1 year ago
That wasn't very long ago, I couldn't understand why the mother hadn't checked on the child. I pretty sure that they had joint custody and the mother and other family were on the scene.
Liz The Biz 1 year ago
This happened not far from where I live in the UK. Don't get me started on the mother. I mean, whatever the issues between the mother and the father, what kind of mother can't even be bothered to call or message her son over the Christmas period? 😞😓
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#11
When my daughter died. I’ve never recovered.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
I got caught up in emotion today, thinking about my little brother who died 14 years ago. Most of the time I just think about how happy he was and how much he got out of his short life but today I just kept thinking about how much I miss doing things with him.
Anthorn 1 year ago
oh, that's so sad. I send you my best wishes and condolences. If you don't mind me asking, what happened?
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Boopie Dew 1 year ago
About the moment you feel you can move forward at all, something hits you and you're right back in those moments. Sorry for your loss.
Phoenix Reign 1 year ago
I never knew love from a parent like that. She was lucky to be loved.
#12
When my husband and I got pregnant for the first time. We were beyond excited, planning the future... Then went to our 10 week appointment/first ultrasound to be told there wasn't a heartbeat. Repeat ultrasound two weeks later showed it had never developed a neural pole (what turns into the brain/spinal column) or cardiac activity of any sort, that it had basically just stopped developing for no reason they could tell, that a miscarriage was inevitable. My husband is a very stoic man, usually doesn't show a ton of emotion. Him crying with me about broke my heart.
To end the comment on a better note, though: that was late October/early November last year. We got pregnant again fairly quickly and we're 33 weeks with a healthy pregnancy so far.
Nadine Debard 1 year ago (edited)
Happened to me 3 times in a raw, the first was discovered at 12 weeks with the first ultrasound like OP, my belly became to get round, I had nausea each day. My body kept growing an empty sack with a dead embryo. The fourth pregnancy was the happy one.
Earonn - 1 year ago
So sorry for all the hard times, but glad that finally it worked. ♥
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At some point, you will have to deal with something so traumatic that it’ll make you question everything you know about life. It might be a serious illness, the loss of a loved one, relationships falling apart, or the realization that the people you’ve trusted might not always have your best interests at heart.
However, life isn’t all about pain and loss, even if it seems that way at times. There are lots of positive experiences, both in your past and your future. And the harsh reality is that life goes on, no matter what happens. The way that we react to and frame traumatic experiences can leave us either more resilient or devastated.
Human beings tend to focus on the negatives more than the positives because it’s useful for survival, from an evolutionary perspective. It’s our brain’s way to keep us safe.
#13
Got cancer at 27, one year in I discovered my husband I met when I was 14, and had 2 sons with, had a full-blown relationship with one of my best girlfriends, and that had been going on for a year. While she pretended to be my close friend during the worst time of my life, so she could attend my children's birthdays, getting closer to my husband and so on.
Still recovering 9 years later.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago
I hope he is your ex husband now and that you have kicked cancers butt.
Tommy DePaul 1 year ago
Perhaps work on learning English first before you go murdering people. Just a suggestion.
Load More Replies... #14
Finding my childhood diary and reading about how confident and fearless I used to be. Somewhere along the way life just... dimmed that light.
Susie Elle 1 year ago
Same. Somewhere I went from a bold, daring and active child to an insecure and troubled teenager and it never quite reverted to the way it was.
Luke Branwen 1 year ago
That's what the system wants. It doesn't need confident, fearless and ambitious people. It needs complacent drones who just bow their heads and do as they're told.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
I lost all my old diaries a few years ago. I am still upset about it, I used to reread them all the time.
#15
Losing my dog. He was my best friend for 14 years, he died almost 2 1/2 years ago and I still regularly break down into tears just thinking about him.
whodunnitfan2013 1 year ago
I went through this again last December, and dread when it happens again.
S Bow 1 year ago
I always dread it, but the joy that my pets bring to my life is worth it. I've said for years that grief is the price we pay for love; the greater the love, the more shattering the grief. But it's a price I willingly pay.
Load More Replies... Kelly Scott 1 year ago (edited)
I had to put my dog down in 1989. That was 35 years ago. It might have been better to have gotten another dog, but I never had the place for one. So today I still miss my old dog and wish I still had him with me. It took me years to realize he was the only thing that ever loved me. He was better than a lot of people and some days when I can't control the depression and the memories, I still sit and cry from losing him.
Terry B 1 year ago
We lost our sweet Lolli 2 months ago. She was diagnosed with cancer more than a year and a half beforehand. Although we knew her time was coming, losing her after more than sixteen years was devastating. When we had her put to sleep (at home by a wonderfully kind vet) , I held her head in my hand, and wrapped my other hand around her body. I felt her heart stop, and completely broke down crying. Then I realized my husband was sobbing beside me. if dogs indeed have any flaw, it is that they do not live as long as we do.
HardBoiledBlonde 1 year ago
My beloved boy died two years before the pandemic and my beloved girl during the pandemic which was absolutely hell. Rudy lived to 16 and Coco to 18. I was forced to adopt another dog soon after Coco died because Coco had never been alone and my Mother had become severely ill. It's just Pip and me now and he and I are good and enough. We learn to love again but never forget nor stop loving those who came before and made us what we are today
“Our tendency to pay more attention to bad things and overlook good things is likely a result of evolution. Earlier in human history, paying attention to bad, dangerous, and negative threats in the world was literally a matter of life and death,” Verywell Mind explains.
In short, people who paid more attention to the bad things happening in their environments were more attuned to danger and, therefore, more likely to survive and spread their genes.
Research conducted by Nobel Prize-winning scientists Kahneman and Tversky found that people tend to place greater weight on negative rather than positive aspects of an event, whenever they make decisions. This means that individuals can sometimes want to avoid loss more than they want to gain something.
#16
My older brother went missing for 10 days. He was then found deceased in a reservoir. Just unimaginable grief and shock. I will never be the same.
#17
Figuring out you are not as important to someone you love as you thought you would be :) i learnt it the hard way that I am very much replaceable.
David 1 year ago
Been there / done that. 35 years later she is on husband number five and I'm told that has soured. But she is getting too old to keep batting her eyelashes and finding a new knight on a white horse to rescue her so she is sort of stuck with this one since she does not have the money / skills to just go live on her own.
Philly Bob 1 year ago
The worst feeling you'll ever feel is sitting next to the person who means the world to you knowing that you mean nothing to them.
#18
A friend's little brother died while in high-school.
Hearing their mom at the funeral, I finally understood what crying like a wounded animal sounded like. It was painful.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
I've been to quite a few funerals for children and you can always feel the anguish emanating from the parents, regardless of the style of service. I am thankful most funerals these days are celebrations of people's life rather than a solemn service. You can see what the person truly was like in life, from the songs they liked and the memories shared, to the photos chosen for slideshows. At my little brother's funeral we gave everyone a blue paper butterfly to take home in remembrance, because that was his 'symbol'.
DuckDuckGooseberry 1 year ago
I made that noise once, and once only. I found out through Facebook that a friend died suddenly, and it took me a second to realise "that noise" was me. RIP boss xx
Furthermore, human beings tend to focus on negative information. However, all of this focus on negativity can harm your mental health. You might find yourself dwelling on dark thoughts, hurting your relationships, and generally having a pessimistic perspective on life.
It’s important to be realistic but not pessimistic. If you find yourself trapped in a loop of negativity bias, you can fight back against it by changing how you think. For example, you can reduce negative self-talk. “Instead of fixating on past mistakes that cannot be changed, consider what you have learned and how you might apply that in the future,” Verywell Mind suggests.
#19
Realizing I'll truly never be loved the way I really want, or really need. Trauma is a monster.
#20
My father died when I was 21 and the same month we found out my mum had cancer. She died when I was 24. She left the house whilst I was out, and I never saw her again. I suppose it was too painful for her to say goodbye. She died a week later in a hospice.
At that point, I was living in a house with my mentally ill half-brother. The same month my mum died, I was r*ped. I moved into a flat alone, and at that point, everything from the previous few years hit me like a truck. I was working full-time but trying to function normally, but grief always catches you up.
katiekat0214 1 year ago
Please tell me you got therapy, and that your brother got help too. And that you have other family, friends, community that helped you and that you can rely on.
#21
My mom died when I was a senior in high school. It all seemed very surreal, and like she had never actually left, since everything of hers was still in the house, where she had left it.
At her funeral, after hearing my brother and sister speak, make morbid jokes (as our family tends to do) and just generally do the normal funeral stuff, it finally hit me. It had been several days since she had passed, but it just hit me all at once like a bag of bricks that I would never hear her voice again. She would never be there to nag me when I needed to take out the trash, clean my room, do my homework, or the million other things that she had to constantly remind me to do.
That was the moment that I broke down and started sobbing. I hadn't shed a tear up until that point--maybe it was shock, I don't know. In that moment I realized that I now lived in a different world, one where I would have to finish growing up without the aid of my mother.
Nadine Debard 1 year ago
That hits home so hard. I dreamt my mother was still alive and just recovering somewhere, my brain convinced myself that she wasn't dead (in my dreams I met her and hugged her). The awakening was terrible, as I lost her again and again. And I had to fight my own brain, to convince myself that she was dead, to remember her dead body. Finally I won and my brain stopped hurting me each night with deny. How hard it was. It was 9 years ago. Now I'm fine.
Yayheterogeneity 1 year ago
I love those dreams now. To be able to be so close to her, to feel her, to see and hear her laugh. Sometimes to fight with her... But yes, waking up is sad although it's almost 10 years ago that she died. The loss is forever there.
Load More Replies... Major Harris 1 year ago
dad died when i was 13n mom died when i was 17. dad had been sick, so sort of expected, yet still hard. mom, massive heart attack out of the blue. that hit hard!
LtKernelPanic 1 year ago
That hits a bit close to home. When my grandma passed we stayed at her condo for the funeral and it was weird. It felt like she was out getting her hair done or something because everything was where she left it including the newspaper on the tray table next to her glider (a type of rocking chair). It was still folded to her favorite section, the crossword puzzle. Wish I had saved that paper. I ended up taking pictures of everything there before I left and I don't think I ever looked at them afterwards. On a happier note not sure why but my brother ended up taking that chair and 8 years later as a single dad (his ex could be several BP posts!) he used it to rock his boy while feeding him when he'd wake up in the middle of the night. I'm sure somewhere she was smiling at the great grandson that she never got to meet.
Helena 1 year ago
My mom died when I was 18. I was grief stricken and bawling of course, but what really broke me was the look on my little sisters face. I will do whatever I can for the rest of my life to never see that again. My only job became doing whatever I could to protect her. We had already been through more deaths before that, and other stuff. The next year dad died, the year after our surrogate grandma, year after grandpa. But nothing ever came close to the look when mom died. It was heart wrenching.
Moreover, you can try reframing your past (traumatic) experiences in a way that’s more positive and empowering. Depending on the events in your past, you may need a mental health professional’s guidance.
Even changing your day-to-day routines can have a big effect on your mood and thoughts. Spend some time in nature, move more, do the things you love, eat a delicious meal, and be with the people you care about. There’s a lot of good out there in the world. And we’re all tougher than we first think. We just need to remind ourselves of this from time to time, especially in the face of devastation.
#22
Made a deal with several friends to meet up on a certain future date/time/place and one of the keys was that we couldn’t talk about it again, just had to trust that no matter what happened in the intervening years we’d be there.
I made up special personalized gifts for each person and waited in the foggy park for two hours later than the agreed time. Finally broke down and called one of the couples and not only were they not coming they had told the other people they wouldn’t be able to make it so the other couples decided not to come either.
And nobody told me.
F**k those guys.
#23
My mother telling me she preferred her girlfriend over me because, and I quote, “she was not a pain in her a*s.”
This was at 1 am, when I came home after a day in college and working 2 shifts to help her pay the mortgage. I left the next day. I was 18.
#24
My 8 year old cat died of a heart attack last Saturday. He was completely fine one minute and then just collapsed. I didn’t think I would ever stop crying.
David 1 year ago
That happened to me about 10 years ago. Me and cat alone in living room. Cat made a sort of surprised grunt noise and just fell over dead. Not sure if heart attack or brain aneurysm but it was something sudden and fatal. There were no signs or sickness in the days leading up to it.
Rachel Pannell 1 year ago
This happened to our cat in March, he was 5. He seemed to have a seizure in his final moments, lost control of his bowels etc and was gone by the time I climbed the stairs. I even tried resuscitating him but it was so clear he was just gone 😔
Load More Replies... 
aubergine10003 1 year ago
Likely hypertrophic cardiomyopathy in both cases (and probably what happened to my 7 year old kitty too). Apparently it happens to some cats around that age, without warning and with nothing to be done to prevent it. I still cry about the kitty I lost that way, because I wasn't even home when it happened and she died without me.
Rosemary . 1 year ago (edited)
I'm so sorry about your poor baby. Our cat Vegas had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy as well, but we were incredibly lucky our vet caught it super early when Vegas was around 7 before it caused any damage to his heart. He was given Atenolol (beta blocker) everyday and he lived to be 18.5. The vet and the cardiologist both said they only caught it because Vegas was such a calm laid back cat who didn't get stressed at the vet's office, which is why they were able to hear the abnormal heart rhythm. I really miss that little guy, he was such a character.
Load More Replies... #25
My husband suffered a severe traumatic brain injury over ten years ago. He was not at fault in any way. Our children were eight and ten years old at the time and I was in my early thirties. After around seven months in hospitals, I brought my husband home as a diagnosed minimally conscious state patient who requires around the clock care. While I do have nursing, it is not consistent so I fill in several twelve hour shifts a week and have done so for ten years. Our children are grown now. They are healthy and well-rounded adults, for which I am abundantly grateful.
Losing my husband was the greatest heartache of my life, so far. He is here, but not. He loved me deeply and fully and we were best friends. I fully appreciated him in every way. He was in all ways my person and I was his. Not one thing in my life has brought me so much happiness and joy as meeting him and falling in love. We would have been married for thirteen years by the time he was injured, and while we are still technically married, it is hard to feel that way. Our relationship now is one of caregiver and patient. Our kids have moved out for work and college and to live their own lives, which I encouraged because I have not wanted to drag their lives down with our tragedy. They need to build their own futures and that has been my driving force from the moment the fog of initial shock lifted after my husband's injury.
But goddamn if I am not unhappy. And sad. I am perpetually a small trigger from crying at any moment, and I was not a crier before this all happened. The unhappiness is now an integral part of me. Sadness is twisted into my core like bind weed around a willow. My thirties are long gone. He is fairly stable because he is cared for so well in his own home, so he will likely live another ten years or longer, and that means my forties will also be devoted to his care. I can not put him into an institution because to do so would wreck me completely. The internal conflict of seeing my life go away day by day spent caring for his body, the years falling away to never be regained while also wanting to give him the best care possible is something I can not allow myself to think about. It is too painful. I still love this man so much. I miss, I miss, I miss. I feel guilt for even mourning my thirties. I feel guilt for being surprised by how much my face has aged; I am stuck in 2014 when the injury happened. I could write so much more, but this is already too long.
Debby Keir 1 year ago
This is why a 'living will' is so important. I have a legal paper that says should this happen to me, I don't want any treatment, no antibiotics for infections, no help to breathe etc, because I don't want to be the burden that breaks my family. They'll be sad I've gone probably, but 10 or 20 years of needing such intensive care will wreck their lives far more than just letting me go. My husband has the same.
ROSESARERED 1 year ago
Sadly a care home would be best, fir both of them. She would have time to grieve, and most importantly, time to relive and remember the love they shared...and he would pass, in time, with her love intact, grief spent, and life living full again
Elle Gea 1 year ago
Baby girl you have given and even time.to take something for yourself find aone.happiness somewhere ao away somehow anything you are allowed to dk this amd not feel guilty.hixi u will do because youre lovely but life's short don't babe no one could.ask more of you. Amd honour ypure a samurai babe you deserve to be haooy and it's exactly what ypure hubby would want u to do regardless of his situation go get some life be happy girl thus ws out of your hands lots of love ❤️
Lowrider 56 1 year ago
I have a living will too. I will not be burden to my wife if something bad happens.
#26
Watching my dad one afternoon around sunset, sitting on a bench in our backyard with our new fishing rods, practising his casting for an upcoming fishing trip my brother that I knew he wouldn't make it to.
F**k cancer.
David 1 year ago (edited)
I have had the same, super close best friend for 50 years. She is currently dying and it is mentally destroying me. It has been about 7 years since she "beat" stage 4 breast cancer. But that is longer than the cancer remission pills are supposed to work. She's been dealing with slowly progressing alzheimer's the past year plus but now the cancer is back and in her bones several places. Just today I found out a recent MRI shows the cancer is also in her brain. Rationally I know I will soon have to adjust to her being gone. But for now it is just massive depression and never leaving my house unless groceries or a doctor appointment demands it.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago (edited)
I'm sorry for what you and your best friend are going through. Please seek out any help or assistance you may need, because you can't do much for your friend, if you aren't taking proper care for yourself. If you ever need to talk or vent or whatever, please don't hesitate to reach out, I know I'm just another random panda but you can message me, if needed.
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 1 year ago
One of my best friends lost her husband (of only about a year and a half) to cancer last year. He was only 32 and they were about to buy a block of land to build their first home.
#27
I cared for my brother for three years who had end stage renal failure. He was a non compliant patient and I often had to be on him to eat right , take his meds, bathe. After a while, I had to clean him up when he soiled himself, take him to the hospital several times a week, and transport him to dialysis. In the end, I had to lift him from the floor when he fell, which was often.
One day while lifting him I heard a pop and immediately felt excruciating pain. I had developed a micro fracture in my hip from over exertion. The next time he fell, I implored EMS to help him. I had no choice.
When I visited, he begged me to bring him home, but I couldn’t. It broke my heart to hear him beg to leave. He passed away 8 months after he arrived. I couldn’t even speak for a week.
Yayheterogeneity 1 year ago
You my friend, gave your best and are an absolute hero in my eyes.
#28
I only found out I had a son 19 years after the break-up when he died in a car crash as a passenger.
#29
Losing a family member for the first time. Then coming to terms with the fact that it will keep happening non stop, until my turn comes.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
I have lost a lot of people in my life, but it never really depressed me, thinking they won't be the last. It makes me happy that I have had so many people I loved and was loved by in my life, regardless of the time. Maybe it is because I was so young when I went to my first funeral, or because I always knew two of my brothers had degenerative conditions and wouldn't live very long. We packed so much into those years to make sure they had a great quality of life, and I believe in heaven, so I was sort of prepared for the loss.
Kombatbunni 1 year ago
Lost both my grandparents within 3 years of each other. I felt very lost without them but it completely broke my mother. She was very dependent on them both and watching her struggle to go on afterwards has been incredibly hard. She’s not the same person anymore and our relationship is broken too
Libstak 1 year ago (edited)
Yes at 57 I am the youngest in my immediate family, I have one sister 6 years older who I struggle to be near as she is a consumate liar and mum. Mum is the last of her generation, all aunts and uncles on both sides are gone. All my cousins are way older than me and many have serious morbidities to deal with in their health.
David 1 year ago
Welcome to getting older. My biological dad. My stepdad of 35 years, my mom, a close friend, my grandmother, other misc relatives. Next up my closest friend for the last 50 years, who will die in the next few weeks or months. Knowing that if I die in the chair I'm currently sitting in, it would likely be a month or more before anyone notices.
#30
Losing my childhood pet hit me hard. She was my constant companion through so many ups and downs, and when she passed, it felt like a piece of my heart went with her. It's tough to fill that void, but I cherish the memories we made together.
#31
When my husband and best friend since we were 12 died suddenly when our baby was 8 months old.
Broke again when that baby became a teenage boy the spitting image of his father and sobbed on my shoulder as it hit him just what he’d missed out on in life.
#32
When I found out my husband tried to get two other women pregnant a few days after my miscarriage.
#33
Losing my younger brother who I had been fighting with for months. It still hurts, it never will stop hurting. Tell your loved ones you love them every day, you never know what’s around the corner.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago
I try to follow telling my loved ones that I love them, but I can't reach out to all of them everyday, but I do let them know every time we talk or whatever.
ROSESARERED 1 year ago
Totally agree, the last time could be a split second away. Tell those you love, that you do create memories, not stuff...this life is shorter than we think
#34
" I'm so sorry, there's no heartbeat"
35 weeks pregnant with our first baby.
I kept thinking it was a nightmare then realized it wasn't so it just hit me over and over and over.
Then, the deafening silence when he was born and the 100% knowledge that my baby had actually died.
Even though on a logical level I knew, there was a teeny tiny part of me that thought maybe, just maybe they were wrong.
#35
When my grandmother was dying, she was in hospice care. On my birthday, she woke up just enought to wish me a happy birthday. She then slipped back into her sleep and didn't wake back up. Listening to what the nurse told me was "the death rattle" still haunts me to this day.
A few days after her death, I was crying to my then (now ex!) boyfriend, who promptly told me I was over reacting to her death. I lost my grandmother, and I lost a big part of that relationship too. I still struggle with crying about loss to my now husband.
Edited: to make it clear I didn't marry that loser.
HarriMissesScotland 1 year ago
My grandmother died the day before my birthday. My husband was not supportive even though I cared for his mother after a stroke. I miss her everyday.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago
I've worked in healthcare for quite some time and once you hear that "death rattle" you never forget that sound. So if you ever heard it again from someone else, you'll know that, that person won't be with us much longer. 😥 Btw the death rattle refers to the sounds one makes when they are dying and they can't swallow/cough due to a massive buildup of fluids, which eventually reaches the throat and we hear that rattling/gurgling type noise.
#36
My late wife telling me it was ok to divorce her when she got cancer.
David 1 year ago
I'm guessing USA. For those not in the USA, many states have community property laws. Meaning stuff from the marriage belongs to both spouses. Unfortunately that also means bills. The wife dies from cancer, whatever portion of the huge medical bills the insurance doesn't pay, goes to the husband. So -- dead wife plus crippling debt.
Agat 1 year ago
Oh god, this is horrible! I didn't know the medical debt is common as well :(
Load More Replies... katiekat0214 1 year ago
Adding that many times when a wife gets a bad/terminal diagnosis, nurses regularly get the woman alone and tell her it's highly probable that her husband will leave her. Women stay; by and large, a lot of men leave, so much so that nurses regularly tell women this. THIS MUST CHANGE. Men need to do so much better.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago
It is true that men tend to leave their wives once they are diagnosed with a terminal illness more frequently than wives, when their husbands are diagnosed with a terminal illness. I'm curious as to where you got that nurses regularly inform recently diagnosed wives, who are dying, that their husbands are leaving them? This would be highly unethical and I've worked in many healthcare facilities, in multiple states and I've never seen or heard of this happening, anywhere.
Load More Replies... Puppy Dancing! 1 year ago
This is where economic hardship causes a person to get a divorce, and then have no rights as a caregiver.
#37
Confronting my ex about the rumors I had heard that she had cheated on me. When I asked her the question and she took a second to respond I felt like my entire chest collapsed realizing that everything we'd built up until that point was a lie and that I could never trust her again.
David 1 year ago
Been there / done this one as well. Except my then wife was in total denial until it couldn't be denied. I guess technically I confronted her twice but the second time it wasn't about us. I was husband number one. But it was the same deal with husbands four and five. I confronted her privately that it was obvious to me she and 5 were an item. (I didn't care, was just observing body language). She denied it totally until she officially dumped number four for number five. Our kids could see it, which is part of the reason we had the conversation. I digress. The first time was the one that hurt.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago
Sounds a little bit like my ex husband, who married wife #4, when he was around 34/35 years old. He was also a serial cheater and likely still is.
Load More Replies... Mostly Innocent Bystander 1 year ago
This. I fought so hard to get over my anger over his last infidelity and keep the family together despite the fights that followed. So many tears, so many moments of almost walking away, but sticking it out because I thought he too wanted to move forward - I mean, that’s what he told me. Then, a little over a year later, just after my 40th birthday, I found out he had a younger girlfriend, one he had kept behind my back almost that entire year. That’s where all the kind words had gone, the affection. My world just broke. And since we have kids and live in a small cmmunity there’s no escaping this betrayal, and no way to avoid him and that horrible woman who willingly spread her legs for someone she knew full well had a family at home. 22 years together, and this is how it ended. This is what he chose for me and our children. I just can’t wrap my head around it. Adultery is ugly, life ruining business - much more so than you can imagine without having experienced it. Just don’t do it.
#38
Losing my mum when I was 14. I'm 27 now, and it still hurts. I'd do anything just to give her one more hug.
katiekat0214 1 year ago
Lost my mom at 12 when she was only 48 to a heart aneurysm. I'm 56 now, and I was lucky to have family, friends, community. I lost my dad (age 91, good long life) in 2021. This time around, I really knew what I was losing. Grateful as a kid that I had such a strong safety net.
Debby Keir 1 year ago
I lost my mum unexpectedly aged 17 - I'm 73 now and still think about her every day.
#39
35 years of taking 911 calls.
David 1 year ago
That would be hard. The jobs that deal with "ugly" on a routine basis take their toll. Soldiers in war, police and dispatchers, child protection workers, the folks that screen social sites for child porn. Probably even being an animal vet given how often they have to tell people their beloved Fluffy can't be saved.
Deborah 1 year ago
Or being a vet and having people come in to have their pet euthanized because it got sick or old and they didn't want to deal with it.
Load More Replies... ROSESARERED 1 year ago
Thank you to all that do, however long they do it. ....all emergency workers....I hope they have much joy, and unending blessings in their life
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
I got offered a job in a government call centre, answering calls about government subsidised childcare for poor people. I said no because I knew damn well just how fast that job would have broken me.
Lila Allen 1 year ago
You are the bravest person I have ever seen. I cannot imagine the trauma you have had to endure. Thank you for being there in people's worst moments.
#40
Realising my dad actually is the father and more, that I grew up begging to have.. I just wasn’t worth the time and effort but his girlfriend’s kids and grandkids are. They’ve gotten a lifetime of someone that unconditionally loves them, helps them, travels to see them, calls them regularly, has in-jokes with them, makes them laugh, buys them gifts that they’ve wanted because he knows who they are and the things they like, tells them stories and lets them in and learn about who he is.
Meanwhile I’ve begged for him to let me be a part of his life since I was 4. Only just clicked this year he’s got everything and everyone he needs without me, I’m just an obligation and the only one that’s fighting to have a relationship.
Charity Wilkinson-Horn 1 year ago
I could have written this word for word. I am so sorry that another soul feels this pain too.
Tonyah Mcanelly 1 year ago
I can realate to this i never knew my father . But my older sister did . one tome he was playing in a band at our home town's fourth of July celebration. My sister and I walked up to the stage my sister told me thats our dad. he looked at us and walked away and we never saw him again . The only time he acknoledged me as his child is when he tried to claim me as a dependant on his Social security. He now lives 20 min away from me I have no desire to see him nor does he know as of last year he bacame a great granfather. My life has been filled with people who love me thats all i need
Vincent-Oliviér Desmet-Demeyer 1 year ago
He is nót that perfect father. He’s cosplaying one maybe but how he treated and treats you shows exactly who he is. And he is not worth your heartache. Those other kids and grandkids at some point will catch sight of his actual self, you can’t mask it forever.
#41
When my therapist asked me what I wanted most from my neglectful parents. I told him all I wanted was for them to hug me close and say they're sorry. To tell me that they tried and even though they messed up they can acknowledge that they're human too.
My therapist leaned forward, looked me right in my eyes and said "I'm so sorry (my name) that will never happen."
Stayed with me for awhile because it was the sudden realization that my parents will never change unless they wanted to themselves. Something I subconsciously knew my whole life but I didn't want it to be true, growing up thinking that 'today will be different' even though it was always the same.
Even though it tore me it was eventually helped me accept them for who they are and made going NC so much easier. Because I don't see them as Mom and Dad anymore and I haven't since that day.
Earonn - 1 year ago
People were wondering this year why I was so unfazed by my mother's death. I explained it's because I had a similar realisation to OP's and that was the actual day my mother died.
Kelly Scott 1 year ago (edited)
Same here. Edit to add: I didn't care when my parents died because even though I was an adult when they both died, they had actually died to me when I was a child and I had already buried them. The hurt they gave me supplanted any grief I might have had. Honestly, they were both gone and I couldn't find it in myself to care.
Load More Replies... #42
Two things.
Losing my dad suddenly to a heart attack less than a month before my 21st birthday. I completely missed the chance to bond and develop an adult relationship with my Dad.
After that I made sure that I really treasured and built a strong relationship with my mother. We were already best friends but I didn't take her for granted anymore. I'd go over for lunch or dinner 1-2 times a week and we'd have endless laughs and I'd always tell her how much I loved and appreciated her.
Two months out from my 29th birthday my mum suddenly died (a stroke). This hit me hard. To lose my main pillar of strength in my life was an emotional blow I still haven't recovered from.
Since then I've inherited and managed to buy my own place. A wonderful advantage at 31. But inside I have never felt more hollow.
If it weren't for my wonderful fiance I would honestly question the point in going on. She is the kindest person I know and is a big part of my motivation for continuing and excelling in life.
I used to be such a completely joyful and unbridled personality, completely insulated from the harm that life can bring upon you. I miss that version of me. I'm still a good person, I still extract joy from a lot of what I do in life, but I still feel like parts of me died along with my parents.
Thanks for asking this question and allowing me to put into words what I've been through.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago
Maybe some counseling or therapy can help you to figure out how to live for yourself and love and motivate yourself. In the end we only have ourselves.
#43
I married my college sweetheart after dating for 5 years through college. Then, 6 months later she had an affair on me. The affair lasted 8 months before I discovered it was happening. My life fell to pieces.
Then I decided to change things. I left the US and moved abroad. After living in a foreign country for two years I met a woman. We fell in love and she was the thread that kept me sane and connected to society. After her and I were married I discovered my mother was going through cancer at back in the states. It was also during COVID, which meant traveling was near impossible. Not to mention that I was unable to afford being able to travel. I could not afford to leave my wife behind and quit my job.
Then, the next summer, I discovered my wife was having an affair with a business man in Singapore.
This crushed me to a point where I don’t like to be around people.
Currently, my life is good. I spent some very difficult alone time hiking 3500 km through mountains along the east coast of the US.
In that alone time I learned more about myself than I’ve ever known. I also dealt with my demons.
I’m still very much an introvert and prefer being alone, but I have a good wife now. She’s incredibly talented. She deserves to have a man who is not broken and loves her unconditionally. I’m not that man yet, but I’m doing everything I can to become that man.
The biggest lesson I learned is the things that make life difficult are stepping stones that lead to other opportunities. I’ve also picked up a mantra that I say to myself during good times and bad times.
“Everything is as it should be”.
Doodles1983 1 year ago
Sounds like op married fast all 3 times. Marry in haste, repent at leisure. I hope they don't regret it.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago
He dated his first wife for 5 years.
Load More Replies... #44
When I came to realization that my original hearing would never be restored and I would hear ringing for the rest of my life.
Learner Panda 1 year ago
Currently having treatment for Menieres Disease, which is no fun although it could be worse. This is on top of tinnitus.
#45
Burnout. It made me insensible and I wasn't able to care enough about others. My girlfriend left me for that reason and when I started to get better I understood exactly what errors I've done. Now i'm healing well but I find still hard to find the desire to search another partner having the fear of repeating the story.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
One of the reasons I'm not fussed about dating is because I just don't have the mental energy to put someone else first. I have so many periods where I don't talk to anyone, or only do so sporadically, because my anxiety gets bad or my fibromyalgia symptoms flare up. I wouldn't want to put someone through that.
FoxEcoLimaIndiaCharlieIndiAlfa 1 year ago (edited)
Girl, I am in the same boat. I've been single since I divorced my lying, cheating and abusive ex husband, 6 years ago. In that time, I've worked on bettering myself and I feel like I'm ready to get back out there because I'm only getting older and a little lonely at times, lol but for many other reasons, as well. I know that it wouldn't be fair to a potential partner when I need my time or space to myself, due to mental and physical needs. My ex husband smothered me, like I couldn't even run to the corner store without him offering to take me or go with or if I was at work or school and if I wasn't home within the time gps said I should be, he'd blow up my phone, like bro there was traffic, I'm talking like 2 minutes past my ETA. ( In hindsight I realized he did all this bc of his cheating ways.) Maybe if I go into a potential relationship, I would need to find a woman who is okay with this setup from the beginning, which will be quite difficult, I'm sure. I understand and can relate to this so much, good luck to you Huddo's sister. 🙂
Load More Replies... #46
Losing my dad. I’m not super emotional on the topic for the most part. I saw the cancer consume him from the inside, going from a hearty 300lbs to under 100lbs in 10months…But he never complained until the last days…. But I always had someone to call about the dumbest things, laugh about my moms antics, just wholesome moments.. I have had a s****y life in recent years and he is someone who would not have only helped me, talked to me, but also would have helped find a solution.
#47
Losing my husband that was a family man to another woman. He stopped caring about me and our children and acted like a completely different person. My heart breaks for our children.
Earonn - 1 year ago
How are parents capable of just 'forgetting' their children? It's as if they never loved them in the first place. And how can they live with themselves acting like that? The only explanation, from seeing my ex just 'forgetting' about the cat HE wanted so much, after he moved out, is "out of sight, out of mind". But we have old childhood friends we haven't seen for years and they still mean something to us, so how can these people act like this? I just don't get it, but I do know that these parents should be called, and see themselves as, useless c***s.
Huddo's sister 1 year ago
Sounds like my best friends current situation. Was an especial blow considering he was the one who saw her ex husband abuse her and got her out of the house. He seemed like the most stand up guy, loved her and their children. But it all changed when she was pregnant with their second child. She thinks they both had prenatal depression and while she got help, he denied all of it and when she worried he was spending so much time at work and getting close to another woman, he denied that as well. Then she found he was cheating, they tried to work it out with counselling, but turned out he hadn't stopped seeing the other woman. Now they are starting the divorce process.
#49
Ending an 8 year friendship with my best friend.
David 1 year ago
I had a good friend ghost me long before the term ghosting was a thing. I never understood why. I was sad but finally stopped trying to contact since after a while it became obvious it was intentional. Fast forward about 25 years and a year or two ago I found out from his ex wife why he is mad at me. He is mad about something THAT NEVER HAPPENED. Had he talked to me about it instead of ghosting me we probably could have worked out the misunderstanding. Instead he chose not to hear my side of the story. The whole thing seems worse to me because one of the things I respect about him is he is a very smart, very logical thinker. (sigh)
ROSESARERED 1 year ago
Having my once upon a time best friend lie to me about why she didn't want me to visit, numerous times, when she was fighting, and then dying, from cancer. Our friendship was changing, had started to before she was diagnosed....but knowing her 'tell' when she was lying and hearing it when she refused my visits ( 200km trip for me to see her), broke me in a way I'm still angry about, and deeply regretfully that it was how we finished things
Nadine Debard 1 year ago
Sometimes it's really healthy, but yes I think about it even 15 years after. I miss the friends they used to be.
#50
Knowing without a doubt the person I’m supposed to trust is shady. That bell cannot be unrung.
In overcoming personal tragedies and finding solace in unexpected companionship, the narrative of triumph and resilience becomes apparent.
For instance, the story of a father who found healing through travel, with his trusted dog as his constant companion, serves as a testament to the power of overcoming adversity through non-traditional means. Such stories remind us of the potential for joy and healing, even in the wake of profound suffering.
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Beak Hookage 1 year ago
The sudden death of a childhood friend. I developed PTSD from the shock and now, years later, have finally accepted that I will never be the same person again.
Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
My mother died on Mother's Day when I was 25. I celebrate it with my ex- who gave me a wonderful daughter but other than that I hate that holiday. You never get over the pain, you just adjust to living with it.
Liz The Biz 1 year ago
My dear dad passed away early on Christmas morning in 2013. Trying to hold it together and keep a smile on my face for my two daughters who were excited about Christmas and young to understand was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Even now more than ten years later I still get emotional and I find Christmas a difficult time of the year.
Load More Replies... Kenny Kulbiski 1 year ago
I lost my one of my adult sons, my wife of46 years, and my cat of 20 years all within a year and a half. Which brings me to this. People I've known for years greet me with " how are you? I feel like saying " how the f**k do you think I am?" Got a few hours? I don't though. My point is that phrase needs to be dropped as a casual greeting.
Naeem Sader 1 year ago
Any of the following: Lost my Dad when I was 6 years old, he had a heart attack in his sleep Lost the vision in my right eye when I was 21 years old due to a car accident Lost my youngest brother and best friend when I was 31 years old and he was only 23 yrs old, he drowned after being caught in a rip tide while on holiday with his buddies I am now 46 years old and most of this year has been spent fighting Hodgkins lymphoma, receving 12 sessions of chemo and being lucky to have it go into remission which I found out a few weeks ago sudden onset early hearing loss (sensory neural hearing loss) for no apparent reason and dealing with worsening tinnitus as the weeks go by BUT I AM STILL HERE AND HOPE TO BE AROUND FOR A WHILE LONGER TO SEE MY KIDS GROW:)
Madeleine Christiansen 1 year ago
Look up the Roxy Forbes 2019 incident. I was there at her camp when it happened. 10 years old.
Cherise/Bunny (She/they) 1 year ago
Having to call the police on my dad cause he planned on killing himself, back in 2021. S**t haunts me to this day. Worst was recently after that incident, he played it off as "Not being allowed to just go for a drive without having the police called on you" Sir, I had to be the adult to make the damn call cause your wife/my mom was a sobbing mess? He's in therapy and is taking antidepressants, but by the gods, I don't know if I actually ever decently dealt with that
olaff 422 1 year ago (edited)
I do not know how to add to these. But I'll tell a very long story short about the trauma that broke me. I used to be a roadie. I was with my wife for 10 years. I came home after a 3 month tour to a destroyed house, with the power off, the front door handle broken, her passed out on the couch with some homeless dude she met at the cult down the road in TN (you can look it up,) and then finding out that my house had been foreclosed on and sold at auction. Then I went back out on tour for a 1.5 year long US/Canada tour because i also found out she basically ran through all my money and had to work.
LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago
When my grandfather died. He was my last remaining grandparent and it felt like a piece of me died with him. But the day that shattered me was the day before his celebration of life gathering. My grandfather died in April, in late June I finally was able to get on a flight for the large gathering. I asked if I could still get into the house to say goodbye, my mom and her sisters cleaned it out within 3 months and sold it. My sister and I were never given a chance to save the contents or buy the house like we wanted, it had been sold by the time we knew it had gone on the market. We wanted to keep it in the family. Walking into a house that was empty of everything that made it wonderful completely shattered me. I cried for hours. I still do. It's been 8 years and I still remember how heartbroken I was that it was all gone. That a house that saw decades of amazing time was no longer ours.
LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago
To add salt in the wounds, a few years later, the house came back on the market, to my sister and I it didn't matter what we had to do, we were going to get it back. Till we saw the pictures. They flipped it. A beautiful, family house, built especially for my grandfather and his family, DESIGNED by him had been completed renovated. Not one inch was left unchanged. It looked soulless and hallow. My grandfather had always hoped if my mom and her sisters opted to sell the house, that they'd sell it to another family to enjoy it the way it should be. Instead they sold it to people who wanted to make a profit. All because mo mom and her sisters wanted more money than their share of my grandfathers estate (his savings alone were up to nearly 2 million, divided between 3 sisters and then my sister and myself, we got quite a bit. Yet somehow, it wasn't enough. I just wanted to keep our home. I didn't care about money.
Load More Replies... Beak Hookage 1 year ago
The sudden death of a childhood friend. I developed PTSD from the shock and now, years later, have finally accepted that I will never be the same person again.
Stannous Flouride 1 year ago
My mother died on Mother's Day when I was 25. I celebrate it with my ex- who gave me a wonderful daughter but other than that I hate that holiday. You never get over the pain, you just adjust to living with it.
Liz The Biz 1 year ago
My dear dad passed away early on Christmas morning in 2013. Trying to hold it together and keep a smile on my face for my two daughters who were excited about Christmas and young to understand was the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Even now more than ten years later I still get emotional and I find Christmas a difficult time of the year.
Load More Replies... Kenny Kulbiski 1 year ago
I lost my one of my adult sons, my wife of46 years, and my cat of 20 years all within a year and a half. Which brings me to this. People I've known for years greet me with " how are you? I feel like saying " how the f**k do you think I am?" Got a few hours? I don't though. My point is that phrase needs to be dropped as a casual greeting.
Naeem Sader 1 year ago
Any of the following: Lost my Dad when I was 6 years old, he had a heart attack in his sleep Lost the vision in my right eye when I was 21 years old due to a car accident Lost my youngest brother and best friend when I was 31 years old and he was only 23 yrs old, he drowned after being caught in a rip tide while on holiday with his buddies I am now 46 years old and most of this year has been spent fighting Hodgkins lymphoma, receving 12 sessions of chemo and being lucky to have it go into remission which I found out a few weeks ago sudden onset early hearing loss (sensory neural hearing loss) for no apparent reason and dealing with worsening tinnitus as the weeks go by BUT I AM STILL HERE AND HOPE TO BE AROUND FOR A WHILE LONGER TO SEE MY KIDS GROW:)
Madeleine Christiansen 1 year ago
Look up the Roxy Forbes 2019 incident. I was there at her camp when it happened. 10 years old.
Cherise/Bunny (She/they) 1 year ago
Having to call the police on my dad cause he planned on killing himself, back in 2021. S**t haunts me to this day. Worst was recently after that incident, he played it off as "Not being allowed to just go for a drive without having the police called on you" Sir, I had to be the adult to make the damn call cause your wife/my mom was a sobbing mess? He's in therapy and is taking antidepressants, but by the gods, I don't know if I actually ever decently dealt with that
olaff 422 1 year ago (edited)
I do not know how to add to these. But I'll tell a very long story short about the trauma that broke me. I used to be a roadie. I was with my wife for 10 years. I came home after a 3 month tour to a destroyed house, with the power off, the front door handle broken, her passed out on the couch with some homeless dude she met at the cult down the road in TN (you can look it up,) and then finding out that my house had been foreclosed on and sold at auction. Then I went back out on tour for a 1.5 year long US/Canada tour because i also found out she basically ran through all my money and had to work.
LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago
When my grandfather died. He was my last remaining grandparent and it felt like a piece of me died with him. But the day that shattered me was the day before his celebration of life gathering. My grandfather died in April, in late June I finally was able to get on a flight for the large gathering. I asked if I could still get into the house to say goodbye, my mom and her sisters cleaned it out within 3 months and sold it. My sister and I were never given a chance to save the contents or buy the house like we wanted, it had been sold by the time we knew it had gone on the market. We wanted to keep it in the family. Walking into a house that was empty of everything that made it wonderful completely shattered me. I cried for hours. I still do. It's been 8 years and I still remember how heartbroken I was that it was all gone. That a house that saw decades of amazing time was no longer ours.
LynzCatastrophe 1 year ago
To add salt in the wounds, a few years later, the house came back on the market, to my sister and I it didn't matter what we had to do, we were going to get it back. Till we saw the pictures. They flipped it. A beautiful, family house, built especially for my grandfather and his family, DESIGNED by him had been completed renovated. Not one inch was left unchanged. It looked soulless and hallow. My grandfather had always hoped if my mom and her sisters opted to sell the house, that they'd sell it to another family to enjoy it the way it should be. Instead they sold it to people who wanted to make a profit. All because mo mom and her sisters wanted more money than their share of my grandfathers estate (his savings alone were up to nearly 2 million, divided between 3 sisters and then my sister and myself, we got quite a bit. Yet somehow, it wasn't enough. I just wanted to keep our home. I didn't care about money.
Load More Replies... You May Like The ER Is For Real Emergencies, But These 46 Doctors And Nurses Reveal What Kind Of People Don’t Realize This From Drinking Coffee To Skipping Mouthwash, 5 Weird But True Health Hacks Experts Swear By
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