What a sweet guy. I love this so much.

I do all of that and all it’s gotten me is gifted child syndrome, a fear of failure, and an anxiety disorder

Just because we share DNA doesn’t mean I’m obligated to have you in my life.

The truth is, there isn't much that can get a bully to stop other than greater numbers or greater physical strength.

I’m pretty sure everyone’s parents had some variation of this. For mine it was that they wouldn’t be able to see and would crash

Everything is a legitimate danger to life if you act stupid enough.

I'm much more concerned about the pool water turning brown.

Thankfully my parents told me in no uncertain terms that adults absolutely did not know what they were doing. Saved my life.

Or apples.

This is so sad. I'll be your friend.

There's nothing religion hates more than questions.

Organized religion is mankind’s biggest mistake. This is one of million reason why I despise organized religions and everything about them.

Some of us learned this the hard way.

I always wanted one! Advertised in Mad Magazine, soo disappointed. They’re shrimp aren’t they?

I just refuse to leave the driveway/parking lot until everyone has buckled their seat belts

Some don't. Some just bong at you. Others, like mine, couldn't care less. There is a seatbelt symbol on the dash that comes on when you turn the key and then goes out after about 5 seconds. However, as it is the law that you must wear a seatbelt in my country (with very few exceptions), and it is the driver's responsibility to ensure that everyone is wearing theirs, then my car won't move until you put yours on, as I'm not taking the rap for you being an ar*e. ;-)

This was once true, I don't know if it has changed, but in the 1970s many cars in the US, would not start if the seatbelts weren't fastened.

Yeah... I didn't lie to the kids, I just said "This car isn't moving until all seat belts are fastened."

Hah! I told that to my dad and he had a split second of "Wait, really....?" before he realized.

That should be a legit safety feature on a car.

Doesn't matter whose car I get into, I always yell out "SEATBELTS!! 😀"

some cars in the 80's would not start until the drivers seatbelt was buckled.

The word 'privilege' literally translates as "private law."

Well they got it at least half right...

As an american that map kind of can make sense --- but airline connections SAm-Afr or SAm-Asia would just not make sense. That's the good thing about forcing flat earthers to come up with a map, they have to make concrete choices that will be impossible to be consistent.

Yeah, I don't think it mattered where in the world you were, except China, if you dug deep enough you would end up in China. I wonder where Chinese kids dug to?

No, no, no, no, no, no. It's under my elementary school playground. We found the shells and the rocks to prove it.

That a$$hole who used to haze freshmen in high school became a cop. My brother punched him in the face one day and then that stopped. A$$hole pulled my brother over (which may have been justified because my brother is a better driver) and according to my brother seemed startled upon seeing him and just gave him a warning. I really don't trust that the cop thing isn't another way for a$$hole to lord his power over everyone.

I was conscious for my first colonoscopy and got to watch it live and in color. There was no chewing gum.

Ask not what your country can do for you.

Isn't that just the sad sick truth

If you tell a child this, you are really giving them zero guidance.

My mother said it couldn't stop on hills as the machine wouldn't pump the soft serve

Yikes. Half of these are silly and the other half just make you want to give the OP a hug and a big plate of cookies and tell them that everything will be okay

If they were talking about exploitation, they were right.

This was made up in the war "The idea that it might is due to a myth begun by the Air Ministry in World War II. To prevent the Germans finding out that Britain was using radar to intercept bombers on night raids, they issued press releases stating that British pilots were eating lots of carrots to give them exceptional night vision." BBC Science Focus Magazine