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“As Gay As It Is In The Media”: 30 Surprising Things About Prison, As Shared By Ex-Inmates
Much of what we think we know about prison comes from movies and the media, often reduced to clichés that paint a one-dimensional picture. But there’s so much to it that rarely gets acknowledged.
So, one curious Redditor asked former inmates to share what most people aren’t typically aware of when it comes to life behind bars. The question sparked plenty of responses, and we’ve gathered some of the most intriguing ones. Find them below—you’ll likely learn something you didn’t expect.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
You've heard of for-profit prisons, but it starts well before and ends well after prison.
Everything has a cost: parole (you pay a parole fee), community service (you pay a community service fee), court costs, you owe the state for part of the cost of you being in jail. Restitution (paying back the people hurt by your crime). Ankle monitor, on your tab. Can't pay? Parole revoked, back to jail with no chance of re-parole / you must serve your full sentence because you violated conditions of your parole.
The biggest scams are the halfway houses. They were about $1500 a month in my town to share a dormroom with, well, another ex-con. Can't pay? Parole revoked, back to prison.
And remember that you're supposed to be paying all this on whatever job you can get **as a felon**. Do you know how many jobs, like Wendy's or even Kroger, tell you to GTFO when you answer that you have a felony conviction? I couldn't work at a *library*. What, you think I'm going to steal a library book?
If you have a substance-related conviction (and sometimes, even if you don't... eg me), you have to do regular d**g testing. You're paying for that, of course. Can't pay? Back to prison. It was like $128 a month for 2x month d**g testing. And again, my conviction wasn't d**g related.
My roomie did have a d**g-related conviction, so he had to do three random d**g tests a week (that he had to pay for). He almost got sent back to prison (2 of 3 strikes) for testing "dilute"; that is, his urine was too watery. He was walking home in 95* heat (can't have a car at this halfway-house) and was, you guessed it, drinking water.
I did the math and I owed about $2200 / month in mandatory court expenses, that if I did not pay I would go back to jail. That was something like 200 hours of work / month, *before taxes and not even considering food*. And I had a fairly good job, *especially* for a convicted felon.
But the best part was the judge that sentenced both of us **owned the halfway house**. He was a partial owner. Talk about cash 4 kids.
The system is absolutely, 100% designed to send you back to prison. There is simply no way a normal ex-con can get out of the "cycle" on their own.
edit: this was in one of, if not the most, progressive towns in the country. I cannot imagine what it would be like in the Sheriff Joe Arapaio places of the world.
Blue Bunny of Happiness 5 days ago
And now (as a Brit) I understand why the USA has such a large prison population
RELATED:
#2
Here in Wisconsin, there’s a volunteer organization that trains guide dogs. All guide dogs in this program are housed at a prison an trained by an inmate for a portion of every dogs puppy raising process.
newsgroupmonkey:
In many prisons in the UK, dogs, particularly cute ones, are allowed in prisons as therapy dogs.
Apparently you can often take the hardest, most manly prisoner and they'll become an absolute softy around a cute dog.
On the other hand, the security dogs, don't muck about around them.
talliloo 6 days ago
this should be a program offered to prisons on a regular basis. there was a study that was done regarding having inmates having pets, in this case, cats. it was found that the aggression levels came down and there were less altercations. however, it was also noticed that the inmates became very possessive of the pets and some had acted out if their pet was mistreated by another inmate. actually, i can relate to that as i would definitely put someone down on the ground if my babies were messed with.
#3
How loud it is ALL THE TIME. Damn near deafening.
#4
A lot of people don’t realize how much trading goes on inside. It’s not just cigarettes everything has value, from ramen noodles to stamps. The barter system is huge, and sometimes it feels like an economy all on its own.
#5
Never went to prison but got arrested before and spent a few days in jail. Chained next to a guy that was a repeat offender and taught his GF, who also got arrested with him, sign language. Neither are deaf; they use it to signal each other in between cells. I always thought that was pretty interesting.
Mike F 5 days ago
I knew many people who have been through the system and heard the stories of what they did and how they did it, along with stuff like the OP mentioned and I often thought that many of those people were brilliant in thinking up their crimes. If they could have been taught something useful, they could have been legit millionaires.
#6
Can only speak for Australian prisons, but the food can be incredible if you're lucky and they let the prisoners cook.
Every chef is on d***s and will eventually spend time locked up, so you can have the entire kitchen of a prison be top class chefs.
Seriously, the best crumbed chicken I've ever had in my life was in Pentridge in the mid 90s. So crisp and full of flavour. 25 years and I've never had anything which has come close to how nice it was. Wish I know who cooked it so I could visit their restaurant, lol.
Manana Man 5 days ago
'I spent four years subsisting on a thin gruel in a Viet Cong tiger cage. I've nearly gone mad trying to find it here in the States but no one can get the spices right.' Seymour Skinner
#7
Not a former prisoner, but used to work in a job that involved the prison system:
1) The sheer volume of paperwork prisoners do every day. Everything they do, everything they request, almost every little interaction with the facility involves paperwork.
2) How *normal* a prison can feel, almost like any institutional setting — hospital, university, etc. — with people hanging around, shooting the s**t, going to work, going to class, until suddenly it very much doesn’t.
#8
From my husband/ best friend :
"From the color of the uniform to the color of the walls, every detail of a prison was thought about and placed to keep your mind numb and institutionalized".
Tamra 5 days ago (edited)
I wish we (here in the US) could pivot and change some of the experience of incarceration. Their freedom has been revoked, which should be the punishment, of course, but it would be great to avail the prisoners of education and therapy to help prevent recidivism. Maybe we do that in some places, but my money is that we don't.
#9
There are a lot of nerds in prison. Like regular DnD campaigns, magic the gathering battles, we played tons of board games, occasionally got awarded a game system for cleanest unit. (Only Madden and Forza tho, no shooters).
#10
Lifers get more perks than temp prisoners. They have nothing to lose really, so they are kept happy. (Ireland)
#11
It’s smelly and loud, the TV is fought over, but we all sang along to the commercials, the water is either way too hot, or ice cold. The food sucks a*s, I had like 3 pieces of fruit the whole time I was there. It made me not want to ever go back again, so I guess I learned my lesson. There was little to no mental health support, and half of the people in there just have undiagnosed mental illnesses.
#12
Women’s prison is a pettier, gayer version of middle school. I got pretty much molested daily my first 2 months. Prison definitely helped me to have a backbone. They are nice to you if they can tell you’re not from the lifestyle. Most of the time I escaped the drama because my character and heart saved me, so if someone did try to start something the other girls would usually step up for me.
Everyone is allll talk and if fights do happen they’re not that serious and usually about prison gfs or mutual dudes on the outside. Yes it is as gay as it is the media. 90%, married or not, no matter how straight they claim to be, engage in sexual activities or heavy petting and hand holding lol. Even more definitely get into a weird emotional/romantic relationship even if they never cross the physical activity line. It’s boring.
Depending on the program you’re in there’s mandatory wake up at either 5am or 9am. I was in the 5am and you get written up if you’re caught laying down. It’s super hard to actually have any s*x unless you’re roommates especially in a smaller facility the guards really have no lives so they police even sharing headphones. I got written up once for letting my roommate use my mayo at cafeteria for dinner.
You get reallyyyy comfortable having to strip down and spread and cough. I had to do it usually at least 3x a week. Most women gain a minimum of 30lbs, everythinggggg is processed and any gym time you get is limited and has time constraints based on units. The food sucks so most of the time you have to rely on commissary. I’m a chef and the facility I was in had a toaster oven so the girls loved me because I taught a lot of them how to make some good food haha, but also the ones that have done a lot of time know how to get creative. It’s crazy. We had girls making egg rolls and Alfredo haha. No matter how nice the staff might be you will still always be put into place and reminded/treated like a subpar human being.
#13
If you're on the spectrum it's gonna be hella overstimulating. The fluorescent lighting, the celly that won't shut f**k up, the texture of the scrubs you gotta wear.
#14
How creative every one is. People invent the craziest s**t to do mundane things that we take for granted.
I don’t wanna burn out the real creative stuff, but first thing that comes to mind is tv stands made of toilet paper and tattoo guns made of dismantled cd players and guitar strings.
JudgeJuryEx78:
My son's father made some really cool beads out of plastic bags and sent me a necklace and a bracelet. I've never worn them but I kept them. It's impressive.
talliloo 6 days ago
i taught a class once a month at prisons-kind of like a specialty class. the clerks for the regular instructors were lifers and i got along well with them. one rule is you don't accept gifts from inmates or do favors for them. one of the clerks had overheard on one visit that i had had a birthday. the next month he presented me with earrings he had made with my name. i thanked him but refused to accept them due to rules. he said he understood and left it at that. a couple of weeks later i was cleaning out my briefcase and there in the bottom were the earrings. i guess he slipped them in when i wasn't paying attention. it's been over 20 yrs and i still have them.
#15
The California department of corrections and rehabilitation is almost self sufficient. They make almost everything they use, food, clothing, all that.
Two Cat Studio 3 days ago
Georgia US prisons are like that: the men's prisons raise all the food, do all the canning, make the women's clothes. The women make the men's clothes, & have the Horse Rehabilitation Programs (abused horses). They both have support animal programs (see puppiebehindbars .com); also, there are GED, Plumbing/HVAC, Cosmotology, Horticulture, Culinary Arts, etc. programs. For substance abuse there is the Residential S.A. Treatment Program. Rehabilitation is possible in Georgia. See also Prison Policy Initiative to get involved.
#16
I found it pretty relaxing to not have to think about what you are going to do for the day. Also no pressure to achieve something. Yes, there were those walls and barbwire fences. But I flourished as a person in prison. And that’s something I do not talk about with other people. That I liked it there.
Yes, prison can be good for you.
Mother of Dragons 5 days ago
I'm quite close with someone who says the exact same thing. I've also worked with quite a few clients who have told me the very same thing as well.
#17
Cell phones are extremely easy to get, and contrary to popular belief, it’s not just the COs bringing them in. That’s actually less common than you think. Not a lot of people want to risk their job and benefits for their family for a bit of money. And inmates don’t want to risk being thrown in the hole for trying to proposition an officer. They also don’t want to be seen talking privately to an officer and looking like a snitch. There’s other ways contraband can get in.
Drones dropping contraband into the yard is common nowadays. There’s also the old walking up and throwing it over the fence. My spot let inmates drive cars for certain jobs, sometimes even off prison property. We also had windows that opened, and could be taken completely off by unscrewing some bolts.
Every night after count, a group of inmates would go out the window and grab alcohol, cigarettes, cell phones, and the big one was actually food. Usually dropped in a huge duffle bag in the woods behind the prison. A lot of them got picked up by their wives/girlfriends and hung out for a few hours. I know someone who got their girl pregnant while doing that. When COs noticed she was pregnant during a visit, he was put in the hole and investigated. Not sure what happened after that.
Eventually someone snitched and 4 of them got caught. Here’s the news article.
#18
How much just 1 year inside will change you. I spent one year in, and now my anxiety has tripled. I can't deal with large groups of people, even if it's family, and I catch myself always watching people, especially at work.
Old Wardog 5 days ago
I was the same way when I got out of the military, still have some issues.
#19
Things are settled with surprisingly respectful fights. If someone goes down you let them back up. It's settled in a very old school "manly" sort of way. Even small disagreements get settled this way. Neither party may even be mad, its just what you have to do "handle business" "get your paper" There are words that will always lead to a fight "b**ch" "h**" "punk" (theres some nuance here because punk is also a title so if you actaully are one, its not going to be a fight) where I was at, just saying "whats up then?" meant a fight you could not back down from.
If someone uses those "fighting words" or disrespects you, you must fight them win/lose/or draw. Its more about standing up for yourself than winning. People respect you if you stand up for yourself.
Upon entering certain races may approach you and test you, and you may need to fight immediately this is called a "heart check" its to confirm whether you're a b**ch or not. If you do not fight, you will have a bad time, as no one respects you and if someone wants to take advantage of you no one will give a s**t. On that note, there are absolutely predators, and you learn who they are and you just don't fuck with them.
Everything is racially segregated to an extent. Its just how it is. If a riot pops off even if its gang related, most gangs are based on race, so if youre a certain color its doesnt matter if you're solo, you're a target(hence the heart check, "if it goes down can I count on you to have my back?")
Pencil 5 days ago
Racial segregation in prison is a major factor that contributes to gangs outside of prison maintaining strict racial policies. If you have a white guy and a black guy both the in the same gang go to prison, when something kicks off of the inside, they either have to betray their gang oaths to defend each other or be considered race traitors by both their racial groups. Gangs that are racially segregated on the outside aren't necessarily racist, they just expect to wind up in prison so membership in the gang reflects the inevitability on the inside.
#20
There are a lot of talented people in prison. Artists who can draw sexual pictures are popular.
#21
I’m a CO, I will say that it’s interesting how a lot of inmates have their own “sky writing” sign language to talk to each other while we are in the block.
#22
Trusted prisoners often work as counselors and get training by The Samaritans. They save lives by helping prisoners cope, especially new prisoners. S*icides happen maybe once or twice per year. (Ireland)
#23
Not prison, but I did some months in county jail and toothpaste is the go-to treatment for almost any skin issues.
jessipepper27:
Toothpaste is also a good adhesive. The amount of times I've escorted prisoners to fix up smashed up cells and there's toothpaste being scrubbed off all the walls because they've used it to stick up photos and whatever else. No wonder they go through it like there's no tomorrow.
#24
Oh my God the corruption of the guards is SO prevalent!!! It's right out in the open clear as day. Watching female guards crying when certain inmates were leaving. Female guards when serious bling all pretties up at work. Female guards disappearing into cells.
Respect is a joke. No one gives it. If they think or say your p**o, your f****d. Doesn't matter if your paperwork shows you're not a p**o. The inmates will say you made your paperwork and it's fake, they got people on the outside saying you're a p**o. I spent 4 1/2 years fighting because they said all that and that I looked like p**o.
EVERYONE snitches.
Inmates believe if you're doing the f*****g or receiving head, your not gay. We all heard a guy who was married with kids being released in a week. Raping his cellmate every night
Guards don't give a c**p about you. A guard walked into the shower room and caught a bunch of inmates gangraping a small white inmate. The guard walked out and did nothing. It wasn't until 2 hours later another guard found the inmate barely alive covered in blood.
#25
It's a lot more relaxed than people would guess, common knowledge of prison has come from media that dramatizes the conflicts and violence. There is conflict and violence, but unless one places themselves in a position to be targeted, it's unlikely they will be.
#26
Prison is mostly boredom, trading items to get by, and staying alert to avoid trouble. The mental toll and overcrowding make it harder than people think.
#27
You can make eyeliner from pencil.
#28
Most of it has been said already, but a few off the top of my head. Im in the US:
If you dont have money or someone sending you money and you dont have a hustle, you are going to be hungry. The food is a*s, and will not fill you up. In my state you only get two meals on weekends.
Having a hustle is a good idea in general. Some folks write letters, make art, sell items they stole from whatever job they have(Clean/brand new clothes, bleach for washing said clothes yourself-in the sink so they don't get mixed in with the ones with s**t stains and stuff, any sort of items used to make a tattoo machine are highly valuable, food from the kitchen smuggled back.) Any job where you have access to certain things and aren't scared to steal can net you some good pull and money.
#29
French prisons have all the d***s, all of them. The guards know it, the director knows it, the government knows it, they don't try to stop it, stoned prisoners are easyer to manage.
Also everybody has a phone even if it's forbidden, it reduces the pressure on the parlor wait list.
French prisons are horribly overcrowded.
Shelli Aderman 5 days ago
This censor makes me laugh. I never know if the original post says drúgs or dícks… 🤣
#30
Some prisons have Netflix etc. No choice as to what they put on, but still...
Some prisons even allow old xBox 360 or PlayStation 2 consoles. (Ireland)
What do you think ?
Ace 5 days ago
More than 30 years ago I did a few months in UK prison (for driving offences) and I think one of the things many people, from the more privileged end of society don't realise is just how much the threat of violence is always there. You have to be on your guard all the time to not offend anyone and it's often a relief when it's time for the cell doors to be closed so you can relax on your own. I've often seen comments about how easy it is in prison, from people who either thrive in that sort of environment or from people who've never been there. It really is a horrible place.
Binky Melnik 6 days ago (edited)
I watched the documentary TV series about prisons around the world (on Hulu, I think?), and I’ve never seen so many horrifying places. In Thailands and its environs, the men sleep chest to back like sardines. The most extraordinary, though, was Finland, where the jail is like a hotel (much nicer than a Motel 6!). Everyone has a phone, DVD player, TV, and can come and go as they please. Many have jobs and drive off to work every day, and some are allowed to go see their girlfriends after work! The COs are people they grew up with, so they’re treated like friends because they are! I’m not kidding that I’ve thought about going to Finland and doing something bad to get in there except I don’t remember having seen any women in the prison. I also remember seeing Reza Mahdadi (MMA fighter who participated in a designer handbag burglary) in his cell in Sweden in a YouTube vid and I had the same thought: his cell looked cozy and comfortable, and was full of books and a TV. Jails and prisons in the US are closer to Thailand that Scandinavia. 😞
Captive 5 days ago
Yes I watches that too. Truly horrific prisons around the world!
Load More Replies...
Tara Noe 6 days ago
A lot of good happens in prisons that people don't realise. Training inmates to be Samaritans was mentioned, but they also train prisoners to teach other prisoners how to read. It benefits both parties and is an incredible program.
LtKernelPanic 5 days ago
Absolutely. A friend helped a dozen or so fellow inmates get their GEDs while serving his sentence. Not only does it help them after being released but getting your GED can also help get your sentence reduced.
Load More Replies...
Huddo's sister 51 minutes ago
A lot of the time when people think of prisons they only think of maximum security prisons, because this is what is shown on screen. What I found out visiting a medium security prison was that most of the men were housed in units, with about 6-8 men in each unit. They each had their own room and a shared common space, with kitchenette, couches and tv. Many had jobs outside the prison they would go to during the day and then return from afterwards. Also, one thing people would be surprised about is that in my state (Victoria, Australia) and perhaps others, children under school age can stay in the prison with their mothers if they want.
PenguinEmp 4 days ago
So people didn't know prison sucks? It's loud? No privacy? Rape? Gangs? Who knew.
Ace 5 days ago
More than 30 years ago I did a few months in UK prison (for driving offences) and I think one of the things many people, from the more privileged end of society don't realise is just how much the threat of violence is always there. You have to be on your guard all the time to not offend anyone and it's often a relief when it's time for the cell doors to be closed so you can relax on your own. I've often seen comments about how easy it is in prison, from people who either thrive in that sort of environment or from people who've never been there. It really is a horrible place.
Binky Melnik 6 days ago (edited)
I watched the documentary TV series about prisons around the world (on Hulu, I think?), and I’ve never seen so many horrifying places. In Thailands and its environs, the men sleep chest to back like sardines. The most extraordinary, though, was Finland, where the jail is like a hotel (much nicer than a Motel 6!). Everyone has a phone, DVD player, TV, and can come and go as they please. Many have jobs and drive off to work every day, and some are allowed to go see their girlfriends after work! The COs are people they grew up with, so they’re treated like friends because they are! I’m not kidding that I’ve thought about going to Finland and doing something bad to get in there except I don’t remember having seen any women in the prison. I also remember seeing Reza Mahdadi (MMA fighter who participated in a designer handbag burglary) in his cell in Sweden in a YouTube vid and I had the same thought: his cell looked cozy and comfortable, and was full of books and a TV. Jails and prisons in the US are closer to Thailand that Scandinavia. 😞
Captive 5 days ago
Yes I watches that too. Truly horrific prisons around the world!
Load More Replies... Tara Noe 6 days ago
A lot of good happens in prisons that people don't realise. Training inmates to be Samaritans was mentioned, but they also train prisoners to teach other prisoners how to read. It benefits both parties and is an incredible program.
LtKernelPanic 5 days ago
Absolutely. A friend helped a dozen or so fellow inmates get their GEDs while serving his sentence. Not only does it help them after being released but getting your GED can also help get your sentence reduced.
Load More Replies... Huddo's sister 51 minutes ago
A lot of the time when people think of prisons they only think of maximum security prisons, because this is what is shown on screen. What I found out visiting a medium security prison was that most of the men were housed in units, with about 6-8 men in each unit. They each had their own room and a shared common space, with kitchenette, couches and tv. Many had jobs outside the prison they would go to during the day and then return from afterwards. Also, one thing people would be surprised about is that in my state (Victoria, Australia) and perhaps others, children under school age can stay in the prison with their mothers if they want.
PenguinEmp 4 days ago
So people didn't know prison sucks? It's loud? No privacy? Rape? Gangs? Who knew.
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