wonder if he sits down when abortion is discussed. doubt it. twat.

I'm dying. I've died 😭😭🤣🤣

That is hilarious.

We still use these at work to call between departments. They are pretty indestructible.

My Vicious Mockery in my current D&D game is yo mama jokes. I've killed more than one enemy this way.

The gallons of gas needs to be about 5 thousand less these days

Oh, buddy we were the dumbest civilization long before this

BREAKING NEWS - WOKE JESUS USES PRONOUNS, THOUSANDS LEFT REELING

So all that fruit falling to the ground and fermenting in the humid heat that some monkeys like to get drunk on came from where exactly? Oh that's tight, the fertile earth sprouted a seed, which fed on the soil and became a fruit tree...

wait until you find about cameras

I can do meth

There's a follow-up that got missed. The person who wanted the cat gone got voted out of office while the cat was still "employed" at the library.

Is it one distinct sound like a Tweet? Can you not change in ph settings to whichever notification tone?

Okay this is deep

The kid ain't wrong tho-

He's a garbage human

Do people actually ask for pictures like this? I feel like it’s a breach of privacy, also feels rude

Well played, kid, well played

I dunno... looks dazed and confused. Like he's trying very hard not to fall apart.

Nibble, nibble, pass.

Slay ✨✨

what I love about things like this is the amount of people that must have to sign off on them- that's the combined stupidity of many people, right up there.

No, it's made with shark hammers.

Good riddance

Omg i had to stare forever. I was like dont blink focus staring so hard.

That lamppost is really REALLY unfortunately placed.

I hope this kid rakes these entitled tools over the coals in court & the city ends up setting him up for life.

I WOULD HAVE NEVER GONE BACK TO THE CLASS AGAIN

I believe you woild put cake IN the fridge to prevent fluffy from sitting on it

Just one?

Should have said either, "What is black?", or "You're black, too."

Well is i or not?

Kitty always knows! My cat sits on my cell phone while I get ready for bed, all of my attention should be exclusively on her!

and then we eat them to solve world hunger

I don't know if the OP means that as a bad thing, just noting their surroundings with some humor? I would have nothing negative to say neither about a manspreader in recovery using these tactics or anyone doing so for medical reasons

I was about to say orange but then realized that the color is named after the fruit.

50% each and there’s an odd number of votes? 🤔

Feliz Cumpleaños

Yeah, I'd demand a retake. Nobody wants to look like the villain in a straight to DVD kids movie.

Why are they getting daughter's boyfriend notifications? I dont have an apple product so confused...

To be fair, they probably chose this place precisely because of its history.

This is such a depressing commentary on the times we're living in.

I will become what I hate

New Mexico

Is that French? Is this like that alternate world where Germany won the war?

Ich glaube, da wird jemand etwas enttäuscht sein…

Ein tasse cafe, bitte. Not for me, for the person who made this.

LOL I'm not fluent in French but I know more French words than German. Also, I can say the things above without sounding like I am clearing my throat which is a big clue. LOL "Do you have almond milk" "Hast du Mandelmilch?"

Ah, ceci n’est pas l’allemand… peut-être vous êtes confuse? Ce n’est pas Paris en 1943; il n’y a pas les Nazis ici. Peut-être, si vous voulais étudier l’allemand, vous devriez essayer Duolingo?