“I Don’t Think He Realized How Profound That Was”: 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said

Interview With Expert

Therapy can be life-changing. Not just because therapists are pretty much the only people who can’t wait to hear about our weird dreams and childhood trauma, but because they can help us sort out the tangled mess of thoughts and feelings we have. That’s a pretty big deal.

Recently, a Reddit poster asked folks to share the most impactful things their therapist had said to them. People poured in with their stories, and this mental health thread became full of thought-proving statements, some of which were certainly Gandalfesque!

More info: Reddit

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"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said The anxiety you're feeling is not evil or your enemy, it’s an overprotective friend trying to keep you safe because it once saw you hurt. Do not fight it, prove it wrong.

Plus-Statistician80 , Ron Lach Report

Final score:

180points

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WindySwede 4 months ago

Darn brain!

23points

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"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said "Change happens when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of change.".

SpicyEmmaa , Håkon Grimstad Report

Final score:

120points

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Tamra 4 months ago

Oh man, I've lived this one. It made for lasting change, though.

27points

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"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said I asked him, "How do you process all of the negative feelings that are projected at you?" and he said "They aren't my feelings"

I don't think he realized how profound that was.

wirestyle22 , Min An Report

Final score:

119points

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WindySwede 4 months ago

By others or by his brain?

10points

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The biggest misconception about therapy is that the counselor will give advice. People start attending sessions hoping they’ll be told what to do and their lives will magically improve. But that’s not the case at all. Actually, mental health professionals help patients better understand what motivates them and causes them to act or think the way they do. Therapy also empowers people to make their own decisions and face what’s bothering them.

The best way to understand therapy sessions is from a trained professional, which is why Bored Panda contacted Vidya Kale, a Yoga Therapy practitioner. She shared that she had been dealing with extreme trauma and that yoga therapy helped her deal with the bodily symptoms of it. She also credited her therapist, Ankita Deshmukh, with her healing and shared things the counselor said that stayed with her. You can check it out below.

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said You aren’t that interesting.

I would have panic attacks and paranoia that people were out to get me (PTSD etc) and would think that people were judging me in grocery stores because my toddler was crying or that my hair was messy. And honestly it boiled down to…nobody cares. We’re all trying to survive and get through the day and what someone looks like or does, we observe and move on. Nobody is that interesting. Nobody (for the most part) is going to remember to toddler crying for a brief moment or the way I was dressed or if my makeup was perfect. Nobody. The only person who will remember is me, and how I made MYSELF feel.

jac_kayyy , RF._.studio Report

Final score:

107points

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Bec 4 months ago

Glad they helped you realize this. When you are depressed or otherwise unbalanced your brain tends to make you perceive that every one is out to get you.

24points

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"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said I was discussing with my therapist that although I’m still young, I felt like it was too late to achieve what I wanted my life to be. She very seriously looked me in the eye and said “Are you dead?” “Well….no” “Then there’s time” and it’s a motto I’ve been reminding myself of daily.

mindfulexhale , Jordan Benton Report

Final score:

96points

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LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 months ago (edited)

At age 42, I would like to be able to internalize this. My dad had an accident when I was 18, and I stayed home to help take care of him for the next 21 years. I did not finish my degree (I only have an Associate's) and I did not pursue a career - I couldn't, when I had to take care of my bedridden, brain-damaged father AND help work at the family business. My dad died in 2021. I have felt paralyzed since I was 18, unable to finish school or find a job that I want. I keep saying to myself "It's too late to become a vet/vet tech" etc.... but maybe it isn't.

66points

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"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said You can't control others, but you can control how you respond.

PinkSparklingGem , Athena Sandrini Report

Final score:

93points

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Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 4 months ago

this is the crux of instructive therapy.

15points

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When you read these profound pearls of wisdom that therapists have imparted, it makes complete sense why they stuck in the clients’ heads for so long. Vidya Kale, the counselor we interviewed, also shared something her therapist asked her that was very impactful. She said, “early on during the therapy sessions, I used to tell her about all my weaknesses, bad qualities, and what was wrong with me. After many sessions, she asked me one question, ‘What is something in you that is enough?’ It doesn’t have to be something exceptional, just enough.”

“That was like a shock for me that not everything has to be about reaching an expert level, I can just be enough. We don’t tend to acknowledge the okay qualities in us and focus on the negative. I have also experimented with using this question with my clients, and it’s quite impactful. They too get shocked and realize they never acknowledged the things that were ‘enough’ in themselves,” she added.

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said Your friends should not make you cry.

Pathetic that I needed to learn this in my 30’s, but there it is.

skynolongerblue , Alena Darmel Report

Final score:

93points

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StrangeOne 4 months ago

Better to be happy alone, than miserable with friends.

51points

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"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said Sometimes a thought is just a thought.

maybepensive , Norbert Kundrak Report

Final score:

90points

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Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 4 months ago

this how i haven't self-terminated. All I gotta do is wait out the thought.

39points

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"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said You're going to put yourself in an early grave trying to make your Mother happy. Your Mother is sick, trying to make her happy is like trying to fill a bucket that has no bottom, its not going to happen unless she fixes the bucket. You can't fix it for her.

Moderatedude9 , Karolina Kaboompics Report

Final score:

88points

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Cool crow 4 months ago

There are lots of hurt people, aren't there? Even moms (and dads).

25points

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Therapy isn’t about just sitting and talking to a counselor. The mental health professional and the client tackle important issues in the person’s life and try to find tools they can use to work through their struggles. According to a survey by ValuePenguin, around 86% of their 1.3k respondents found that therapy helped them cope better. This happens because counselors ask important questions to make their clients reflect on complex situations.

Vidya shared her experience, stating, “my therapist asked what I would do if I learned about a security threat that would affect my city, and how I would save it. I told her that on the spot, I might not be able to do much, but I gave her a list of things I’d do if I had 24 hours. She then said, ‘see, your brain is able to deal with the toughest situations, and it finds a way out. So trust that you can manage even the most difficult situations and find a way out.’ Even now, my hair stands on end while telling you this.”

#10

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said We judge ourselves by our intentions but we judge others by their actions.

horny_rapunzel , Karolina Kaboompics Report

Final score:

82points

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Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 4 months ago

and don't judge someone by their worst day.

16points

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#11

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said Some people are like a colander, it doesn't matter how much time, love and support you pour into them, it will never fill them up enough to make a difference. .

Competitive-Watch188 , Mikhail Nilov Report

Final score:

77points

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Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 4 months ago

i'm stealing this for next group

12points

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#12

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said As a teen in therapy, I used to call myself a potato because of my ugly appearance. The woman I had sessions with actually gave me a small plastic potato replica and had written on it in sharpie "some people like potatoes."
I think it was just the effort she went to trying to help me/cheer me up that really affected me and my judgement of professional help (I was an angsty kid) and after that I took getting help much more seriously.

dangerous_bends , Franco Antonio Giovanella Report

Final score:

73points

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The Darkest Timeline 4 months ago

Bart: “Mom, why are you always giving me potatoes?” Marge: “I just think they’re neat!”

5points

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Research has found that receiving more counseling sessions can improve patient outcomes. Studies show that out of clients who dropped out, only 12% recovered as compared to 60% of those patients that completed their course of therapy. That’s why it’s so important to stick with these mental health sessions and fight the urge to drop out if things get hard.

#13

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said "You need to show yourself the same kindness and compassion that you show others."

I did not expect to get something like that in my second session.

MrSabrewulf , Pablo Heimplatz Report

Final score:

71points

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Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 4 months ago

put your oxygen mask first in the plane, then the kid's. When you support yourself you're already supporting others. Find your gratefulness , make it kindness and steer it with wise love.

20points

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#14

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said “Be the mirror, not the sponge”. Don’t absorb other people’s stress and anxiety, show it back to them gently. Changed my life.

CariocaInLA , Vince Fleming Report

Final score:

70points

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StrangeOne 4 months ago

I'm not sure how to do this. If I acted the same way to my co-workers the same way they act towards me I'd get written up.

32points

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#15

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said When I broke down because I was so fed up of being scared and anxious all the time he said something like.
“You can’t be brave without being scared first.”
It always stuck with me that fear, no matter how overwhelming, won’t last forever and I try to see it as a chance for me to prove to myself I can fight back and try to get through this.

AnxiousAxolotyl88 , Skylar Kang Report

Final score:

63points

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Papa 4 months ago

Bravery is not the absence of fear. Bravery is continuing in spite of fear.

48points

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When we asked Vidya about the impact of therapy and her therapist on her, she said: “no therapy can have an impact if the client doesn’t take any initiative. If their mindset is set to think ‘everything is bad and everything is wrong, nothing is good,’ nothing will change no matter how much you do or how good the therapist is. I have been working for 4.5 years, and my therapist for 8 years. We also found that people who are spiritual or have spiritual beliefs have better chances of healing and it being sustainable.”

#16

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said "Just because the mentally ill person screaming at you lives in your home instead of on the streets doesn't mean their opinion is any more true"

"The fact that the relationships you have with some people are involuntary doesn't mean you should hold them to a lower standard than voluntary relationships; you can hold them to a higher standard".

UnoriginalUse , Karolína Maršálková Report

Final score:

62points

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Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 4 months ago

bringing these to next group too

10points

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#17

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said I’m a therapist. You know that phrase “You can’t love someone until you love yourself”?

I tell my patients thats b******t and replace it with:

“Sometimes through loving someone else, you can begin to love yourself.”.

-whyareyousosweaty- , Emma Bauso Report

Final score:

59points

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StrangeOne 4 months ago (edited)

I guess it depends on the situation and context. I would tell my daughter this when she was cutting and was getting into bad relationships. I had to end some for her. (Yes, she was upset but she understood and wasn't mad about it. I only did that when the police started getting involved, and suicide threats were mentioned by the other person. As a parent of a minor, you do have to step in like that, and parent.) She was also dealing with issues at school, and her disability. She was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. When I told her it's better to learn to love yourself, before you love someone else, I explained to her that means it's better for her to get things sorted out, focus on her schooling, work on her self-confidence, get some counselling, and figure out what she wants in a relationship and learn the difference between what is healthy and unhealthy. She agreed. Not everyone will. Someone can say they love you, show you love, but how will you know if you don't know what's good and bad love?

19points

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#18

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said “Don’t live as though the thing you fear has happened when it hasn’t”.

tigerllort , Pixabay Report

Final score:

57points

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Victoria 4 months ago

Fear and anxiety are different things, but our brains process them the same way. Separate real Lions (fear) from imaginary Lions (anxiety) and only deal with the real.

16points

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With technology becoming even more innovative, it’s no shock that something like therapy can also be done online. Studies have found that online counseling sessions are just as effective as in-person ones to treat mental illnesses. The only concerns that exist involve privacy both on the counselor's and client’s side. In physical settings, confidentiality is easier to maintain since only the therapist and patient are in the room. With virtual therapy, people find it tougher to find that same level of privacy in their homes.

#19

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said Me: I just want to get back to my baseline and feel okay again.

Therapist: Or, potentially feel even better than your baseline.

Very eye-opening for me in the moment because the thought had never occurred to me.

campfire_eventide , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

50points

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Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 4 months ago

cptsd cause stressing since age5 - 45.. I had so many untied symptoms I thought depression was my personality.. only a few years later did i learn that 'just not worse' was only the first horizon.. never could even imagine what the shape of better would look like.. not there yet but i'm adding drops into my bucket (adding drops adds weight over time and makes bucket less likely to be kicked over ((in Jonathan Lawson insurance voice)).)

19points

#20

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said Not every friend has to be a close friend, you're able to have different kinds of friends (like levels of how close they are or how much you confide in them).

I struggle with being a loner and it affected my mental health a lot because I could count my friends on one hand. I thought of people as acquaintances or close friends with no grey area. This advice helped me appreciate more of the people who I'm not super close with but they still have a presence in my life.

boohoo_bear , Duy Pham Report

Final score:

48points

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Papa 4 months ago

I can count my friends on one hand also. I've been friends with all of them for decades (some so long that I can't remember a time when we weren't friends). I'm okay with that.

9points

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#21

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said "You deserve to take up space just as much as anyone."

There was a whole process involved in allowing me to see my own self worth.

thedude198644 , Joshua Abner Report

Final score:

48points

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geezeronthehill 4 months ago

"Everybody gotta be someplace."

5points

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As Vidya puts it, “everyone only wants someone who can understand them. The therapist needs to look beyond words, understand the person’s emotion, and respond to that.” That’s exactly why this thread exists. People who went to therapy felt heard and understood by their counselors, which is why these statements stuck with them.

Have you ever experienced that? We’d love to hear if something a therapist has said really resonated with you.

#22

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said That I was more addicted to the breaks and deep breathing than I was to the nicotine.

Over one year without smoking and watching my dad die of lung cancer due to a lifetime of smoking.

matriarch-momb , Kelvin Valerio Report

Final score:

47points

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CanadianDimes 4 months ago

I remember reading a story about a guy who quit by going outside and doing deep breathing exercises for 10 minutes at a time, basically a cigarette break without the cigarette

23points

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#23

“Sorry, but you’re just not that powerful.”
In response to my tendency to accept blame for everything that has gone wrong in mine and my kids lives. It should have been obvious to me but it wasn’t. When I processed this statement I felt overwhelmingly relieved.

wolfysworld Report

Final score:

46points

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StrangeOne 4 months ago

My mom always tells me how strong she is and I am. Truth is, I don't feel that strong and I'm sick of having that burden on my shoulders all the time. I'm not strong because I had a kid before I was 18, decided to keep her and raise her. I wasn't strong for ending my relationship with her dad. That was scary and hard as hell, and I wasn't the one who initiated it. My mom did. I'm not strong for working to support us. I just go to work, as I would if I were child-free. I'm not strong because I decided to finish school. I just found the time, did what I could, and I can't even say I was smart with the timing and finances to do it. I'm not strong because.... I'm just not that strong and powerful. If anything, I'm defensive and protective with myself, and that gets me into trouble at work, and only one person at my work recognized my anxiety attacks as being that. I have little friends, which is just fine with me. I even tried getting back with my ex. That didn't end well. I'm only human.

12points

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#24

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said Just because you feel bad doesn't mean you are bad.

GarbageMeat , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

43points

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Spring Fisk 4 months ago

feelings lie sometimes

10points

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#25

That the best way to get rid of cortisol is to scream, sing or hum. Animals shake when their levels get too high to get rid of it. Our Vargas nerve runs down our windpipe. So scream sing! You’ll feel better. Also that guilt is a heavy and useless emotion, put it down like a suitcase and walk off.

dragonflyladyofskye Report

Final score:

39points

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Tamra 4 months ago

Eh, pretty sure they meant vagus nerve, and not Vargas nerve. 😂

40points

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#26

As you become more educated and more experienced you will outgrow people and behaviors and it will not be comfortable. You will no longer fit in.

Addhalfcupofsugar Report

Final score:

39points

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Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 4 months ago

Learn chess. Visualize setbacks and success. Also, Sure you're 'Playing' with someone but they're gonna try to kill your king. I used to have a friend that said real friendship is helping dispose of a corpse. I realized he thought of a future of bodies (figuratively), We were tight but he was toxic.

4points

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#27

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said “You don’t need to please everyone all of the time. People who love you will not leave you because you disagree with them or do something they don’t like.”

She nailed a lot of my behaviours back to the fact my biological dad left when I was 9 months old. I cannot cope with perceived abandonment, and will do everything in my power to keep people happy… because they might leave me.

RhiR2020 , Alexis Brown Report

Final score:

38points

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RabidChild 4 months ago

Also, sometimes it's better to just let someone go ahead and leave.

23points

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#28

A question she asked that Immediately changed the way I saw a relationship. How much more of this b******t are you going to put up with?

OldTransportation122 Report

Final score:

35points

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Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 4 months ago

I've known some bars that were like a group therapy with wiser drunks. This sounds like something I'd hear.

20points

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#29

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said I had been in therapy for about a decade, and was talking to her about online dating. I said it was like being sucked into a whirlpool, in that there is only one small step between just playing around the edges and being sucked into the thing. She asked me why I used that example, and I said "Because, when I was 9, I was sucked into a whirlpool in a creek, and only survived because my brother managed to pull me out." This started a flurry of scribbling in her notebook I had not seen before. Also answered LOTS of things.

scrubjays , Gordon Wrigley Report

Final score:

34points

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Stephanie Did It 4 months ago

That is an amazingly apt comparison and one that would be easy to explain to a young person: how quickly "almost" can become "too late." Thank you!

14points

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#30

"I Don't Think He Realized How Profound That Was": 30 Mind-Blowing Things Therapists Have Said “I’m not taking your insurance anymore”.

MeatyUrology , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

31points

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Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 4 months ago

I heard this one. Changed my life.

22points

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Note: this post originally had 41 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

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I am a visual editor here. In my free time I enjoy the vibrant worlds of art galleries, exhibitions, and soulful concerts. Yet, amidst life's hustle and bustle, I find solace in nature's embrace, cherishing tranquil moments with beloved friends. Deep within, I hold a dream close - to embark on a global journey in an RV, accompanied by my faithful canine companion. Together, we'll wander through diverse cultures, weaving precious memories under the starry night sky, fulfilling the wanderlust that stirs my soul.

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What do you think ?

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Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 4 months ago

More of these Please , I am on BP as part of my therapy , so these help... well, reading other Pandas' responses and experiences has helped so much with my Populo-Agoraphobia . Those silly points .. help. Thank you to Allllllll Pandas

23points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 months ago

Darius, that's awesome! I was actually forbidden (several times) to post on Bored Panda, by my partner. But I have very few friends, so talking to my fellow Pandas is one of the few places I actually get to talk to other people. I am also not allowed to go to therapy (he doesn't believe in it) so it helps sometimes to read what others' experiences are.

13points

Zedrapazia 4 months ago

I've seen your stories here for a while, Lakota, so I know you come from a bad home situation with an abusive adoptive mother and siblings. Reading this here kinda sounds like you've ended up in a devil's circle as so many people do, and have gotten a partner just like your mother was. Throw that partner into the trash and run, girl, run, you deserve better than that! I mean, just look at this situation: You're isolated, your partner forbids you from getting therapy (probably so you won't realize how full of shît he/she is) and forbids you from posting on BP, a post collection site. You're being taken advantage of here, and you have to get out of this before it's too late. Good luck!

17points

Tempest 4 months ago (edited)

I JUST STARTED THERAPY TODAY! I’ve been here a while so I consider my fellow pandas as friends and I want to tell this to my friends. Just my first session and it went so well. I have depression and BPD and both are self diagnoses (very clear symptoms and signs). A psychiatrist I saw before dismissed me because I self diagnosed. But the therapist today validated what I was feeling and immediately got to work helping me feel heard for the first time. And I felt so comfortable talking to her. She seemed to understand most of my struggles. I’m so happy that I found a good therapist right away (I was doubtful of how they’ll treat me cause of therapist horror stories I’ve heard). I’ve had depression for over 14 years and therapy was long overdue. She gave me homework and asked to come back next week. I feel like I’m already better 😂

13points

Isa 4 months ago

The best thing about Bored Panda is that you get to talk to someone without knowing what to talk about.The people here are supportive, Just much much better than any social media site.

8points

Janeymc 4 months ago

While talking to my sons therapist before their first session, she said to me, “you really seem like you give 200%. Would you ever consider pulling back just a little, and maybe giving 100%?” I knew after that she also needed to be my therapist. Helped me in so many ways.

5points

Beak Hookage 4 months ago

I wondered to a friend why I was feeling anxious and hated it yet felt constantly drawn toward things that would make me even more anxious. Her reply changed my life: "Because anxiety wants to be fed." It becomes like an addiction. So now when I feel anxious I do the exact opposite of what anxiety is telling me to do, and GOD it helps so much.

4points

Pill Nathan Whitely 4 months ago

More of these, please. I copy/pasted several of them because they impressed me.

3points

Diana Alvarado 4 months ago

I used to have a belief that something was wrong with me; flared up especially when I failed or couldn’t figure something out. I loved what my therapist said “I promise there is nothing wrong with you. We think that when we can’t make sense of what’s happening in our world. But these things are hard for everyone and they take time, doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with who you are.” I cried my eyes out.

3points

Samsquatch & Monko 4 months ago

Not a therapist, but very close to being one tbh: “and what interests of yours do you think she knows about?” I couldn’t come up with much… it was always about her the whole time. Today I had an existential crisis. She wasn’t just dramatic, she was lying and never cared about me or my interests. Yet I know so much about her.

3points

A C 4 months ago

Love to everyone that can relate to this article. Please remember....You Matter 🫶

3points

Joshua David 4 months ago

Best thing my therapist asked? Is the person you're balming all your problems and shortcomings still in your life today wreaking havoc on your life? No.....

3points

Montanavanna 4 months ago

Sometimes parents can't be, won't be, or are unable to be the people you want or need them to be. Understanding helped me to let go of resentment for past behaviors.

3points

Casey Smith 4 months ago

1996 my therapist wrote for me on his legal pad, ‘It’s good enough.’ I still have it. I was a perfectionist and that broke it.

0points

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Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 4 months ago

23points

LakotaWolf (she/her) 4 months ago

13points

Zedrapazia 4 months ago

17points

Tempest 4 months ago (edited)

13points

Isa 4 months ago

The best thing about Bored Panda is that you get to talk to someone without knowing what to talk about.The people here are supportive, Just much much better than any social media site.

8points

Janeymc 4 months ago

5points

Beak Hookage 4 months ago

4points

Pill Nathan Whitely 4 months ago

More of these, please. I copy/pasted several of them because they impressed me.

3points

Diana Alvarado 4 months ago

3points

Samsquatch & Monko 4 months ago

3points

A C 4 months ago

Love to everyone that can relate to this article. Please remember....You Matter 🫶

3points

Joshua David 4 months ago

Best thing my therapist asked? Is the person you're balming all your problems and shortcomings still in your life today wreaking havoc on your life? No.....

3points

Montanavanna 4 months ago

Sometimes parents can't be, won't be, or are unable to be the people you want or need them to be. Understanding helped me to let go of resentment for past behaviors.

3points