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Great Therapist Jokes To Remind Us All About The Importance Of Mental Health

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One thing we need to state right off the bat is that therapy is no joke. It is as much of a medical treatment as going to your dentist or getting prescription glasses. Unfortunately, in some cultures and societies, therapy is still seen as something shameful, and those in need of therapy either hide it from people around them or, even worse, get angry at themselves for not being able to “get a grip.” But think about this: if you break a leg, everyone will tell you to go to the hospital, so if you have trouble coping with stress or trauma and there is an actual doctor who can help you with that, why would it be any different?

Having said that, a little bit of funny therapy memes won’t hurt. Mental health specialists confirm that laughter is a great coping mechanism, so if you feel anxious about talking to a therapist, a good counseling joke can help reduce that anxiety. But therapist humor is not only for patients. Therapy professionals love joking about their work just as much as anyone else does. Jokes for psychologists, psychiatrists, and other mental health professionals can be very elaborate and include psychology puns, therapist memes, and tons of other jokes.

We hope you enjoy our joke collection, but don’t forget, therapy and psychology jokes are only a small share in your well-being and are by no means a permanent solution. If you or someone you know are in need of professional help, do not hesitate to talk to a professional. Mental health is as important as physical health, and what might seem like an insignificant issue to one person can turn into a daunting problem for another. Enjoy our collection and stay safe!

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#1

Joke on therapy Thought all these voices in my head meant I was crazy, but one of them is a therapist. And he says I'm fine.

29points

melvin gilibert 8 months ago

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0points

#2

My therapist set half a glass of water in front of me. He asked if I was an optimist or a pessimist. So, I drank the water and told him I was a problem solver.

26points

FactcheckerGeneral 2 years ago

When I was a kid in New York, my father was an optimist. My mother was a pessimist. My sister, she was a realist. And I was an idealist. If there was milk on the table, my dad would say the glass was half full. My mom would say, no, it was half empty. My sister would say "Who cares? It's milk! Drink!" And I would say "Why can it never be yoghurt?"

7points

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#3

My therapist told me write letters to the people who you hate and burn them later. I did that. But now what should I do with the letters?

25points

the_harbringer_of_doom 1 year ago

idk man frame them?

0points

#4

Therapsit: Love yourself.
Patient: I'm not my type.

25points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Can't Blame the guy, i would never date myself either, i still have standardts, they may be really really low, but i still have them

5points

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#5

Joke on therapy Therapist: Your wife has complained that you never buy her flowers, what do you say to that?
Patient: To be honest, I had no idea my wife even sold flowers.

24points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago (edited)

Why am i reading this in Jmmy Car's voice....

4points

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#6

Therapist: We need to deal with this constant need of yours to please others.
Client: Sure, if it makes you happy!

24points

the shrimp whisperer 1 year ago

where my RSD neurodivergents at

1point

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#7

My therapist told me I have multiple personalities.
Now she charges me a group rate.

20points

Gabriela 2 years ago

Come on...you and me and all of our personalities will find her.

2points

#8

I told my therapist that no one understands me.
She said, "What do you mean by that?"

18points

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#9

There are only two times I feel stress: day and night.

18points

the shrimp whisperer 1 year ago

SAME bro

0points

#10

Joke on therapy What do you call Mark Zuckerberg getting therapy?
Tech support.

17points

the shrimp whisperer 1 year ago

true

0points

#11

My therapist recommended that I write in a diary to help my low self-esteem.

"Dear Diary, sorry to bother you again..."

17points

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#12

My therapist told me I am quite self-aware.
I already knew that.

17points

Elisabeth Breckenridge 2 years ago

Been there.

3points

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#13

Joke on therapy My therapist thinks I'm kleptomaniac. He didnt say it to my face, though. I read it in his notebook when I got home.

17points

#14

How many psychotherapists does it take to change a light bulb?
None, the light bulb will change itself when it’s ready.

17points

#15

How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb?
Just one. All he has to do is hold it in place while the world revolves around him.

16points

Blue Jay 1 year ago

Pretty sure this is how my mother does it!

1point

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#16

Therapist: So your parents both blame you for the divorce.
Patient: Nah, I was just a kid.
Therapist: That wasn't a question. I see them twice a week.

16points

Katrina Im 2 years ago

HIPAA violation lol

4points

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#17

Joke on therapy My therapist says that I have revenge issues.
We'll see about that, won't we?

16points

FactcheckerGeneral 2 years ago

Credit where it's due: this is a Stuart Francis joke.

1point

#18

Trying to be honest with my therapist but not so honest that I get involuntarily hospitalized.

16points

the shrimp whisperer 1 year ago

i feel this

1point

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#19

I used to have super powers but my therapist took them away.

16points

Pumpkin Spice 2 years ago

??

1point

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#20

Client: I can't explain it. It's like I'm not sure about anything in my life.
Therapist: And how does this make you feel?
Client: I'm not sure.

16points

the shrimp whisperer 1 year ago

i felt that

1point

#21

My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. So far today, I have finished two bags of chips and a chocolate cake. I feel better already.

15points

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#22

Joke on therapy Therapist: I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know the symptoms?
Me: I can't say I do.
Therapist: That's one of them.

15points

Blue Jay 1 year ago

Ooh I see what you did there 😂

0points

#23

Someone's therapist knows all about you.

15points

Llama_flower93 2 years ago

Nah, cause none of the unhealthy people in my life are in therapy, kind of why they're still unhealthy.

2points

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#24

Actually, I became a therapist because the voices told me to.

15points

Gabriela 2 years ago

I hear them. Oh! I mean I hear ya.

1point

#25

Client: Shouldn't I tell you all about me?
Therapist: Not necessary. Just show me your Facebook ads!

15points

#26

Joke on therapy My therapist told me my narcissism causes me to misread social situations. I’m pretty sure she was hitting on me.

14points

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#27

My therapist says I have schizophrenia. Jokes on her I don't even have a therapist.

14points

#28

Patient: I'm terrified of random letters.
Therapist: You are?
Patient: 'Screams'
Therapist: Oh I see.
Patient: 'Screaming intensifies.'

14points

#29

Therapist: Do you get anxious?
Me: When I'm awake, yes.

14points

the shrimp whisperer 1 year ago

YEEEEs

0points

#30

In a psychiatrist's waiting room two patients are having a conversation. One says to the other, "Why are you here?" The second answers, "I'm Napoleon, so the doctor told me to come here." The first is curious and asks, "How do you know that you're Napoleon?" The second responds, "God told me I was." At this point, a patient on the other side of the room shouts, "No, I didin't!"

14points

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#31

Joke on therapy A psychologist breaks his leg whilst skiing. At the hospital the doctor says to him, -"Don't worry, it's all in your body."

14points

#32

I told my psychologist I am scared off living in tall buildings. Apparently it’s an Apartment Complex.

14points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

Ba dum tsssssd

4points

#33

Therapist: I just wrote a book on reverse psychology. Don't read it.

14points

FactcheckerGeneral 2 years ago

Damn who was it who said - "At I had a double major in Psychology and Reverse Psychology. I learned nothing."

3points

#34

I got kicked out of schizophrenia group therapy yesterday.
I was just trying to be polite but I guess it was wrong to say "Don't mind me, guys. Pretend I'm not here."

13points

#35

Joke on therapy My therapist just told me I might be a chronic procrastinator and that it will seriously affect my life. I'm not worried though I'll figure out what procrastination means later.

13points

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#36

I told my therapist that I was seeing strange colours.
He told me they were just pigments of my imagination.

13points

#37

I confessed to my therapist that I've been stealing other people's Bitcoin.
He says I'm his first cryptomaniac.

13points

#38

What did the therapist say to her husband after they got home from vacation?
There's a lot to unpack here.

13points

#39

How many Clinical Psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but there's a six-month waiting list. In the meantime, here's a leaflet on how to cope with darkness.

13points

Blue Jay 1 year ago

This is funny but also hurts a little

1point

#40

Joke on therapy Therapist: If you don't want to talk about your mother, do you mind if we talk about mine?

13points

Blue Jay 1 year ago

I would rather talk about anyone else's th an my own so go for it

0points

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#41

Therapist: I think you may have a 'Narcissistic Personality Disorder.'
Client: I bet I'm the only person in the world who's got it.

13points

Blue Jay 1 year ago

No, but you're definitely the best at it!

0points

#42

You can't choose your family. But you can choose your therapist.

13points

Purplescales 2 years ago

Not every therapist will be a match. It takes time to gel with anyone.

3points

#43

When someone tells me that therapist work isn't even that hard, that it's just talking to people, then hell is just a sauna.

13points

Blue Jay 1 year ago

I think this only applies to therapists who actually put forth effort

0points

#44

Joke on therapy Therapist: Anyways.
Patient: 'Anyways' isn't a word. You mean 'anyway.'
Therapist: Anyway, we were talking about your difficulty making friends.

13points

#45

I’m seeing a therapist for my kleptomania.
I’m taking away something valuable from each session.

12points

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#46

"Doctor,"- said the receptionist over the phone, "there's a patient here who thinks he's invisible."
"Well, tell him I can't see him right now."

12points

#47

At first I thought my therapy for Stockholm syndrome was useless.
But now I kind of like it.

12points

#48

Joke on therapy My friend told me that he was sent to a therapy group for procrastinators.
They haven't conducted the first session yet.

12points

#49

I don't need therapy.
What I need is these squirrels to stop singing Pink Floyd.

12points

Scott Anderson 2 years ago

Send the sheep after the squirrels

4points

#50

Socks are like unhappy couples in therapy.
Always trying to break up, only to be reunited by a third party.

12points

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#51

My therapist says I'm narcissistic.
How can someone who's perfect be narcissistic?

12points

TheAquarius1978 2 years ago

I wonder the same thing myself, the worst part is, that if i don't know that sure as hell no One else will.....

2points

#52

My therapist asked me what I'd feel if I shot someone."Recoil",- I calmly answered.

12points

#53

Therapist to his nurse: “Just say we’re very busy. Don’t keep saying, “It’s a madhouse.”

12points

#54

Joke on therapy My therapist after I tell her about my week: "She was a Disneyland of mental problems."

12points

#55

What did Santa Claus say to therapist?
"When I was a kid, my parents told me I didn't exist."

12points

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#56

Therapy in 2030: Show me the emoji that best describes how you are feeling today.

12points

#57

Client: I'm afraid of Rick Astley.
Therapist: Don't worry, I'm never gonna let you down.

12points

#58

Joke on therapy Client: I have depression.
Therapist: You should go outside more.
Client: I was on the beach. Tropical depression.

12points

#59

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dust bin.
Therapist: Don’t talk such rubbish!

12points

#60

Who makes the most money from Father’s Day?
My psychologist.

12points

#61

A man was walking in the street one day when he was brutally beaten and robbed. As he lay unconscious and bleeding, a psychologist, who happened to be passing by, rushed up to him and exclaimed: "My God! Whoever did this really needs help!"

11points

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#62

I saw a doctor's office that does proton therapy.
I never thought that subatomic particles would need therapy, but I guess it's not easy being positive all the time.

11points

#63

Joke on therapy When is the Speech Therapy Class?
It's hard to say.

11points

#64

My therapist said my hyper-independence was unhealthy.
I then realised I didn't need a therapist.

11points

Blue Jay 1 year ago

Ok I felt this one and I didn't like it

1point

#65

I have a friend who has hallucinations.
I told him he should talk to a therapist, but he said he is already seeing people.

11points

#66

I told my psychologist I was thinking about killing myself. He said,- “How can I help?”

11points

Blue Jay 1 year ago

At least he's useful.... mine told me I clearly didn't try very hard 🙄

1point

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#67

Joke on therapy Why did Waldo go to thearpy?
To find himself.

11points

#68

My therapist says I'm bi-polar. I hate being bi-polar but it's awesome!

11points

#69

Why is it so hard to make a schizophrenic pay for private therapy?
Because they can't manage their invoices.

10points

#70

Why did the electron go to therapy?
It couldn't be positive.

10points

#71

Joke on therapy I joined a loneliness therapy group.
No one showed up.

10points

#72

My therapist said I could book 10 sessions in advance for £6000.
She must think I'm crazy!

10points

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#73

Sure, I like music, but accordion to my therapist, I'm obsessed!

10points

#74

Why is psychoanalysis quicker for men than for women?
Because when it’s time to go back to childhood, a man is already there.

10points

FactcheckerGeneral 2 years ago

Insult me again and I'll hit you with my blankie

1point

#75

At a job interview for a new receptionist:
“I see you used to be employed by a psychologist. Why did you leave?” “Well, I just couldn’t win. If I was late to work, I was hostile. If I was early, I was anxious. And if I was on time, I was obsessive.”

10points

#76

Joke on therapy Today, I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than, “I told you so.”

10points

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#77

Patient: *says something self-deprecating*
Therapist: "So who's talking right now?"
Patient: "Technically, you were talking just now."
Therapist: *face-palms*

10points

#78

Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dog!
Therapist: Well lie down on the couch, and we'll talk about it.
Patient: I can't! I'm not allowed on the furniture!

10points

#79

Therapist: The next time your wife says, 'Why must you always have the last word?' - don't answer her.

10points

#80

Every time you call your boyfriend 'Daddy', Sigmund Freud's ghost becomes a little stronger.

10points

#81

Joke on therapy What did therapist say to the wolf?
Give yourself permission to express your feelings by howling even when there's no moon.

10points

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#82

Why were Pavlov's curls always so luscious?
He used classical conditioning.

10points

#83

My therapist says I'm paranoid.
He didn't actually say that but I know he was thinking it.

10points

#84

What did the skier say to the therapist?
"My life is going downhill."

9points

#85

Joke on therapy What did the therapist say to the depressed dog?
"Life is ruff."

9points

#86

How'd the session go with your new therapist?
It was a waste of time. He just kept showing me pictures of my parents fighting.

9points

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#87

My therapist says I have a problem trusting people.
Or at least she claims she's my therapist.

9points

#88

Definition of a psychologist:
A man who goes to a topless bar and looks at the audience.

9points

#89

What did dog say tho therapist?
"I'm telling you I'm not paranoid! Sometimes he only pretends to throw the ball just to make me look like an idiot!"

9points

#90

Joke on therapy Therapist at the party:
Not sure if that ENFP is flirting with me or just being an ENFP.

9points

#91

Sometimes the best part of therapist job is that the chair swivels.

9points

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#92

What Hulk say to therapist?
It's a burden always having to be incredible...

9points

#93

What did the psychologist say to the man who felt misunderstood all the time? "What are you trying to express?"

9points

#94

Joke on therapy Patient: There's a chance I might be bipolar.
Therapist: What're the odds ?
Client: 50/50.

9points

#95

My therapist told me its not healthy to pretend I have a therapist.

9points

#96

Therapist: You're in the safe place to spill the tea.

9points

#97

My therapist just told me that I’m completely incapable of expressing my feelings. Can’t say I’m surprised.

8points

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#98

Joke on therapy My massage therapist got fired. I guess she rubbed too many people the wrong way.

8points

#99

My girlfriend was born without her little toe and the sight of her foot makes me physically ill. My therapist said I’m lack toes intolerant.

8points

#100

My new therapist is British. The first thing he asked me was 'UK'?

8points

#101

I went to a group therapy meeting for those suffering from the imposter syndrome.
If they only knew that I did belong there.

8points

#102

Joke on therapy Two psychologists pass each other in a corridor. One greets the other: "Hello! You're fine. How am I?"

8points

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#103

Therapist: Wanna hear a joke?
Client: Yeah go on.
Therapist: And how does that make you feel?

8points

#104

Client: I could kill for a good cup of coffee right now.
Therapist: You have Latte Homicidal Tendencies.

8points

#105

Client: I never really thought my problems were very interesting before.
Therapist: ...

8points

#106

Joke on therapy What did astronaut say to the therapist?
I've been under a lot of pressure, lately, doctor.

8points

#107

Why do driving instructors make good physical therapists?
Because they can teach fine motor skills.

8points

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#108

What did the ghost tell the psychologist at his first therapy session?
"I used to know who I was, now I just feel like I'm drifting through life."

8points

#109

Joke on therapy I am paranoid. Am I paranoid enough?

8points

#110

My therapist tells me I have a preoccupation with vengeance. We’ll see about that.

7points

#111

I tried to start a therapy group for people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.
They’ve assured me it’s me who needs the group and I’m getting enrolled next week. I’m so grateful for their help.

7points

#112

I wasn’t surprised when they told me my electro therapy was free.
I was shocked.

7points

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#113

Joke on therapy Have to take my son to speech therapy.
Easier done than said.

7points

#114

My therapist told me that I have trouble interpreting social cues.
I think she wants to have sex with me.

7points

#115

My therapist said the best treatment for depression is to vigorously rub salt into my skin in order to draw out excess moisture. Wow thanks I'm cured.

7points

#116

My wife is studying to become a massage therapist. All she wants to do is study and practice. I've got to cook, I've got to clean, it's tough. But I have to say, at the end of the day, it does feel nice to be kneaded.

7points

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#117

Two psychiatrists pass in the hall. The first says, “Hello.”
The other thinks, “I wonder what he meant by that?”

7points

#118

Joke on therapy What did the psychologist name his scared cat?
Freudy cat.

7points

#119

Client: Everything these days is dot-com this and dot-net that! I just can't stand it anymore!
Therapist: I know the website that can help you.

7points

#120

Why would Gwen Stefani make a bad physical therapist?
She has a strict ‘Don’t tell me cause it hurts’ policy.

7points

#121

What’s the physical therapist’s favorite movie?
Empire Strides Back.

7points

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#122

"I'm walking home from school and I'm watching some men building a new house. And the guy hammering on the roof calls me a paranoid little weirdo... in Morse code." - Emo Philips

7points

#123

My therapist told me that "Denial" is "not just a river in Egypt." But he then went on to describe the river's role in the regions economic and agricultural history in scrupulous detail. I should probably stop getting "therapy" from my cab drivers.

7points

#124

Joke on therapy Therapist: Last week I broke a finger. On the other hand, I was okay.

7points

#125

Went to my psychologist and told him I feel like a pack of cards. He said “I’ll deal with you later.”

7points

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#126

My therapist said to try having a different outlook on life. I agree. I should have a different outlook on life. Preferably from underground.

7points

#127

The therapist said I can get over my fear of buffets. But first, I’ve got to want to help myself.

6points

#128

Joke on therapy My therapist refused to help me with my fear of backing up my car. She said she would under no circumstances perform reverse psychology.

6points

#129

My therapist warned me that I’m getting addicted to downhill skiing. She said, “It’s a slippery slope.”

6points

#130

There is a therapy group at school for kids who are bullied.
I’m helping new members join.

6points

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#131

I saw my therapist today, and said "You are going to bring up my obsession with predicting the future, aren't you?" She said yes.
I said "I knew it!!"

6points

#132

A woman went to see a psychotherapist and said she was troubled by having no friends. The therapist asked, “What do you think might be causing the problem?” The woman said, “What, are you lazy and want me to do your job for you? If I knew already, I wouldn’t be here, would I, you fat ugly twit!”

6points

#133

A professional baseball player comes into the clinic with a limp. “What’s wrong?”,- asks the therapist. “I took too many walks.”

6points

#134

Joke on therapy Therapist: You're overthinking.
Me: What if...
Therapist: Don't!
Me: What if...
Therapist: No.
Me: What if everyone else is underthinking?

3points

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#135

What it's like being therapist?
You talk nonsense while making wise and meaningful faces.

2points

#136

Therapist? You mean bartender?

2points

Žydrūnė Trukanavičiūtė

Hi! I'm the visual editor at Bored Panda, spicing up articles on Gardening, Home & Design. Guess what I daydream about? A future home with a huge garden, filled with all kinds of veggies and flowers. Sounds like the perfect match, doesn't it?

Hi! I'm the visual editor at Bored Panda, spicing up articles on Gardening, Home & Design. Guess what I daydream about? A future home with a huge garden, filled with all kinds of veggies and flowers. Sounds like the perfect match, doesn't it?

Marisha Kazaryan

I knew I wanted to be a storyteller ever since I learned to read and write. Fulfilled this dream when I became a content creator and a filmmaker. Also got a degree in English language and literature because grammar is important! Good coffee and good music make everything better. When I’m not telling stories, you’ll find me studying foreign languages (currently, Korean), fangirling over my guinea pig Pepperboy, watching TV shows, and learning to play the drums.

I knew I wanted to be a storyteller ever since I learned to read and write. Fulfilled this dream when I became a content creator and a filmmaker. Also got a degree in English language and literature because grammar is important! Good coffee and good music make everything better. When I’m not telling stories, you’ll find me studying foreign languages (currently, Korean), fangirling over my guinea pig Pepperboy, watching TV shows, and learning to play the drums.

What do you think ?

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