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67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet

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Naming babies sure is fun - you get to learn all kinds of awesome names and choose one for your adorable spawn. However, as with almost everything in life, there are certain unspoken rules for naming human babies. First off, the name should be appropriate, meaning you shouldn’t call a little human something like Paper Clip. It’s just wrong. Second, remember that the tiny little human will someday be bigger than you, so calling your baby Baby might have repercussions in years ahead (for the Baby, not you, though). And lastly, always remember that a name has the power to make an impression on people, so one should avoid combinations like Sergeant Sergeant. Because then, your baby will absolutely have no choice but to become a Sergeant Sergeant Sergeant one day.

And yeah, although these rules are pretty valid and not so hard to stick to, some people make it their life goal to break them. Hence this amusing Reddit thread where people shared the worst names they’ve ever seen. There’s Granny Gremlin, a preschooler named Xerox, and tons of names that might’ve been pretty fine if not for the absolutely kooky combo they make when paired with the person’s surname. Some of them are so freaky we cannot even mention them in this text!

As to why these people’s parents chose such unfortunate names, we have no clue. Might it have been a bet to come up with the funniest name possible? Or perhaps the person was in a rush and just named their baby after the first thing that popped into their mind? Perchance a mistake? Who knows! And although we do feel sorry for the people who have to carry probably the worst names of all time, it’s nevertheless quite an entertaining read. So, scroll down below, check out the hilarious names people shared on this AskReddit thread, and vote for the most outrageous ones!

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#1

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet Lemon_Scented_Seal said:
"My mom had a coworker who named her child Tequila."

8bit-meow replied:
"I was in 5th grade with a Tequila. We had a big sleepover and pretended we were at a club and she was the bartender."

Lemon_Scented_Seal Report

54points

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#2

UrDraco said:
"Icy Dong. And Erika, spelt airwrekkah."

WaitingForTheFire replied:
"Was airwrekkah born during a plane crash?"

54points

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#3

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet Jazzlike-Channel3465 said:
"An 80+-year-old lady called Gremlin."

IAmNaaatBorat replied:
"Never feed her after midnight."

Jazzlike-Channel3465 Report

47points

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#4

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet peppermintblues said:
"I’m in healthcare and the worst name I’ve seen on a kid is Meatball."

TheGoober87 replied:
"Son of Meatloaf?"

peppermintblues Report

47points

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#5

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "The girl at my school was Crystal Shanda Leer."

MarcoNoPollo Report

43points

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#6

"Once at work, I met a guy whose first name was Greg which is not all that bad. The only thing is, his last name was also Greg

Greg Greg."

Glide1505 Report

39points

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#7

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Kaliber and his brother Gunner and their cousin Ruger."

39points

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#8

"'Messiahiscoming' is by far the worse I've heard. It's beyond ridiculous."

PointyWombat Report

35points

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#9

mattxfish said:
"I went to school with a kid named “Phuc”. It was pronounced “fook” but seeing teachers/substitutes take attendance was always a good time."

Leaf_Warrior replied:
"From what I know it's a pretty common Vietnamese name (if I'm including Phuoc) and means "blessing" or something else with a really positive connotation. Just a bit unfortunate in how it sounds similar to a certain word in the English language."

mattxfish Report

35points

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#10

"A guy named Ashley Hole who went by "Ash"

I s**t you not."

PiffWiffler Report

34points

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#11

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "In the military, there was this guy called Richard (Dick) Sergeant. Who was a Staff Sergeant? So his name was Staff Sergeant Dick Sergeant. He owned it though so good for him."

Rickdaquickk Report

33points

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#12

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "A few years after graduating, I found out that a guy in my grad class named his daughter Charizard."

gentlefawn98 Report

33points

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#13

"Quandale Dingle. No contest."

LeprechaunPC Report

33points

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#14

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet ddcaypuno said:
"Someone named their Child "Drink Water" here in the Philippines. The full name would be "Drink Water Rivera".
Hope that counts."

kajnbagoat7 replied:
"Drinkwater is a second name in the UK. There’s a football player called Danny Drinkwater."

ddcaypuno Report

32points

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#15

"Worked at a credit union processing loan docs for borrowers.

Worst name: Nip Hickey.

Best name: Kitty Divine."

bravoindustry Report

32points

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#16

"In elementary school, there was a boy named Famous. His younger sister was Fashion."

sourdoughbreadlover Report

31points

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#17

"Tazer Face."

Lord_Matisaro Report

31points

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#18

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Keithesia, because her Dad's name was Keith, and because her mom was in Anesthesia when she was born. Not kidding. She seemed embarrassed to explain it to me. Poor girl."

begrudginglydfw Report

29points

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#19

"The guy up the road from where I grew up was named Harry Crack."

BonjourLavache Report

29points

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#20

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Knew a girl named LaSonja. When I first saw her name I read it as "La-sahn-ya." She informed me that it was in fact pronounced Lasagna. Even acknowledged 'like the Italian dish.'"

BargerianJade Report

28points

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#21

"Went to school with these trailer park kids. They were twins. Bud Light and Bright Light."

DustinSRichard Report

26points

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#22

"A student I work with is named Dymmonic. It’s pronounced ‘Demonic’. Poor thing."

pregers_ Report

25points

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#23

"In high school, I knew two twins whose last name was 'Poos'. Chris Poos and Alex Poos. I called them 'the sh**s.'"

pasghetti27 Report

24points

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#24

"Clindamycin. Yes, spelled exactly the same way as the antibiotic. When questioned, the mom said 'I just thought it was pretty.'"

throwawaypanda15 Report

23points

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#25

"Eye'n pronounced Ian.

"To be different", per his mom.

What the hell."

JustMeerkats Report

23points

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#26

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Rusty Clam. It's so bad it's almost good."

23points

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#27

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "My elementary school boyfriend in 3rd grade was named Matthew Wiener the kids started calling me Mrs Wiener so I told him I couldn’t be his girlfriend anymore lol."

UsedQuiet2862 Report

22points

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#28

"My mom was a nurse and one woman named her newborn daughter Tarantula Iguana.

Runner up is the name I heard as a camp counselor: Sevenne, pronounced like the number, and yes the kid was 7 years old."

galaxykiwikat Report

22points

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#29

"I once met a girl named Cliche."

Background_Tree_8468 Report

21points

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#30

"Found someone's name tag and the name was Nevah Petty."

JinshiyoBari Report

21points

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#31

"My brother went to school with a kid named William William William."

21points

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#32

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "There's a doctor at my hospital named Dr. Kunts."

KarthusWins Report

21points

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#33

"I knew a student named Baby. Sister was Princess. So Princess and Baby."

lindafancyontheb Report

21points

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#34

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "A bit of an urban legend, but here in Wales an English-speaking new mother wanted to give her daughter a Welsh name (a fairly common practice) and saw some writing on a sign in the hospital. She read the sign out loud and thought it sounded really nice and would be a good name for her daughter.

The name she gave was Allanfa Dân. This translates to Fire Exit."

a1edjohn Report

21points

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#35

"Xerox, poor kids will be bullied for the rest of their life."

reddit.com Report

20points

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#36

"Myferson (not sure if that’s how it was spelled). It was a compacted version of “my first son”. Parents were tweakers."

westcoastnerd Report

20points

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#37

"Girth gotta be the worst name I've heard."

Tnasty006006 Report

20points

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#38

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Heard some people named their kids Khaleesi during the height of Game of Thrones... Bet they regret that now."

Penumbral_Ichor Report

20points

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#39

"My dad's coworker is named Chris Cross. "

Sarah-cidal Report

19points

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#40

"Renesmee."

potatofanatic-0 Report

19points

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#41

ZookeepergameSea3890 said:
"Knew a girl in school, the poor thing was named Cheyfatte. Everyone pronounced it as "she fat". Their last name was Lay."

-partlycloudy- replied:
"My brain actually having trouble computing this one and keeps trying to turn it into Lafayette."

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#42

"Phayth! It is pronounced Faith."

Parking-Ad-1952 Report

19points

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#43

"Atreyu.

His parents named him after the character on NEVER ENDING STORY."

straight_edge_sammy Report

19points

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#44

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "One of my high school friends named her daughter Peppermint Vespa. Vespa was after Spaceballs, not the scooter. Regardless, she's going to be miserable in school. Not even a decent middle name to go by, poor kid."

ArizonaZZ Report

18points

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#45

"Bruhilga. It just conjures the image of an evil witch brewing her cauldron. (My friend’s aunt’s name.)"

reddit.com Report

18points

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#46

"Crystal Methanie."

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17points

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#47

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "I once met a kid in school named “Zachary”. The issue was that it was spelled “Zaquarie” the kid was fine, ate glue once, and was a bit standoff-ish but overall not mean for a then 5-year-old."

anonymous01310555 Report

17points

#48

"I work at a daycare and I watch two sisters, one named Tesla (after Nikola Tesla, not the car) and Poe (named after Edgar Allen Poe). I see ridiculous names every day watching children but those have probably been the worst."

lillianrosalieee Report

17points

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#49

Lone_Ronin_ said:
"0nica pronounced Zeronica, that’s a zero, not an o."

SweetAlbaD replied:
"What country allows numbers in names?"

herranton replied:
"The USA, in many states. Unless they are specifically banned at the state level, you can include numbers while naming a child. Some states do ban it though."

Lone_Ronin_ Report

16points

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#50

"I know a woman whose name is Thumbelina."

PeppermintPhatty Report

16points

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#51

"I went to High School with a girl named 'Candy Ho.'"

Raxtenko Report

16points

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#52

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "I tutored a homeschooled kid name Godspromise, I went to school with a girl named Barry-Anne and I have taught multiple kids with the middle name Danger.

On a different note, I also taught an 8-year-old named Ian. I don't know why that's as funny to me as it is. An absolutely fantastic kid too."

philby-mack Report

16points

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#53

"I have a baby nephew named Eros, I frequently make jokes about his name to my wife, in private, of course. I heard his name again yesterday and I was "Really? We're still calling him that? If there was a person that needed a nickname, it was that kid. I propose we call him Mordecai.'"

OinkMcOink Report

16points

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#54

"Distant relative named their son Ur'Majesty."

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16points

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#55

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet GentlemanLuis said:
"Met a girl in college my first year who was named 'Jewel-Leah'."

Poptart270 replied:
"So like Julia but spelled differently?"

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16points

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#56

"Eden Seamenn. I felt so bad for her."

Adventurous_Mind_775 Report

16points

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#57

zubaz69 said:
"Cornelvis. Yes, it's really someone's name."

Scrapper-Mom replied:
"Like a weird marriage between "Cornelius" and "Elvis"."

16points

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#58

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "My sister's sister-in-law named her son Brewer."

14points

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#59

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet aRiotofPenguins said:
"I knew a girl in high school named Tuesday."

martusfine replied:
"Tuesday means “to shine”; wherever you are. Tuesday, I hope you’re shining brightly."

aRiotofPenguins Report

14points

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#60

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Cash dynamite, to the mom named Exclamation."

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#61

"Bliss Angel."

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13points

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#62

"Gelsey. Kelsey with a G like in gallon. Ugh."

blackbird163 Report

13points

#63

"I taught a kid whose real name is Ricky Rock n’ Roll Smith."

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12points

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#64

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Diesel."

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12points

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#65

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "I was riding an Amtrak train. I was in my early 20s at the time. I was seated next to a high school kid. We got to talking. He told me his last name was Virgin. I immediately started laughing and then said, "Wow, I'm sorry, I should not have laughed." He graciously accepted my apology."

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#66

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Probably Godwill. Not because it's a bad name, the guy just ended up being, not Christian."

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#67

"There's a kid in my baby brother's class named "Nice"..."

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Aivaras Kaziukonis

Aivaras is a SEO listicles curator. Aivaras is a student trying to pave the way to his career in Marketing and advertisment creation. Also Aivaras like's to watch and play sports, especially football.

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Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

What do you think ?

Sleestak 1 year ago

I overheard a woman in the grocery store telling her daughter to sit back down in the shopping cart, "Sit down, Tyranny!" Asking for trouble, if you ask me.

4points

Lisa glass 1 year ago

I know a little girl, whose name is “Your Highness “. Her mother is a piece.

2points

Zoey Rayne 1 year ago

My sister went to middle school with a girl whose parents did not speak English and unfortunately thought "Latrine" sounded like a pretty name.

2points

Sabrina Bowen 1 year ago

I have you all beat. I knew a girl named Shi'thead. It was pronounced SHI-theed. But spelled like shithead.

2points

Scarlett 1 year ago

Like the vine?

0points

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Duncan 1 year ago

I can't help of thinking about the Seinfeld episode, The Seven. Jerry : [George plans to name his first child "Seven"] Awright, let's see. How about Mug? Mug Costanza, that's original. Or uh, Ketchup? Pretty name for a girl. George Costanza : Alright, you having a good time there? Jerry : [Jerry is in the kitchen, and opens a cupboard] I got fifty right here in the cupboard. How about Bisquik? Pimento. Gherkin. Sauce. Maxwell House.

2points

Adam Zad 1 year ago

BLANKET?!! You named your kid BLANKET? (Michael Jackson)

2points

Ozzy Pawsbourne's Mum 1 year ago

My boss is called Chrystal-Sky (all one name)

2points

The Doom Song 1 year ago

Do people not realise how the dumb name they pick will impact that kid forever?

2points

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl 1 year ago

I once met a kid named Yue. She was named after Yue in Avatar the last airbender

1point

_physically_insane_(he/him) 6 months ago

That’s rough buddy

0points

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Red Wyvern Emperor 1 year ago

Kinda surprised I didn't see Elon Musks's kid's name among these. The X Æ A-XII. I feel so sorry for the kid. He might live in luxury, but that name is a HEAVY price for it.

1point

Hphizzle 1 year ago

Not the worst but I know a Skippy, a Pepper, and a Coco. All humans. All birth certificate names.

1point

nebulamoon333 1 year ago

In 4th grade there was this girl in my class named Goodness

1point

MaryHadaLittleLamb 1 year ago

I went to school with a girl named Cinnamint. Also another girl named April Rains. Both nice girls, I hope they weren't teased too badly.

1point

starsailor (they/he) 1 year ago

Cinnamint??? how much did her parents like gum?!

3points

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Jessica SpeLangm 1 year ago

I don't think most of these are "worst" names or stupid names. I think many of them are unfortunate names that have preconceived meanings that weren't intended.

1point

Libstak 1 year ago

I had a client contact named Rong Child. All I kept picturing after her birth was a nurse holding her up to her parents and asking if they have a name for her and the horrified mother who maybe spoke only a little English saying "wrong child, rong child..."

1point

Tyranamar Seuss 1 year ago

I knew someone who legally had their name changed to "God Made Chief." And the court allowed it. I also knew a Princess I always felt bad for.

0points

Lisa glass 1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Lisa glass 1 year ago

I met an 11 yr old girl named “Your Highness”. Her mom wanted me to worship and bow down to her daughter.

0points

Tucker Cahooter 1 year ago

A lot of these are bad but they pale against the names celebrities give their kids, in particular the chemical formula that Elon Musk and Grimes lumbered their kid with

0points

Shyla Bouche 1 year ago

In the '90's, the comedian Paul Rodriguez called out Latino parents that gave their children English words as names. He pointed out that the word "genitalia" is a very pretty word, as long as you don't know what it means. So he's pretending to introduce his children to the audience. He says, "This is my daughter, Genitalia," as he gestured where the kid would be standing, "and my son, S*****m."

0points

SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago

I knew a kid named Aaden (pronounce Aiden). It was actually a blessing because we had about 5 kids named Aiden in our class of friends so he stood out (unfortunately as the first one called by the teacher at times because of alphabetical order) but the guys turned out fine. I rarely see him but do occasionally talk to him and last I heard, he was a mobile paramedic (EMT aid on-the-go of sorts) so I just had to tease him that "Aaden be aidin' people now..." XP The good bloke took it all in stride though XD

0points

Jessica SpeLangm 1 year ago

@Sheamus....how is Aaden a bad name? It's a perfectly fine name, with ONE letter different than the typical spelling. The only unfortunate part is that the 4 other kids' parents couldn't come up with a different name.

2points

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Reggie 1 year ago

Try’Dredavarious

-2points

Sleestak 1 year ago

I overheard a woman in the grocery store telling her daughter to sit back down in the shopping cart, "Sit down, Tyranny!" Asking for trouble, if you ask me.

4points

Lisa glass 1 year ago

I know a little girl, whose name is “Your Highness “. Her mother is a piece.

2points

Zoey Rayne 1 year ago

My sister went to middle school with a girl whose parents did not speak English and unfortunately thought "Latrine" sounded like a pretty name.

2points

Sabrina Bowen 1 year ago

I have you all beat. I knew a girl named Shi'thead. It was pronounced SHI-theed. But spelled like shithead.

2points

Scarlett 1 year ago

Like the vine?

0points

Load More Replies...

Duncan 1 year ago

I can't help of thinking about the Seinfeld episode, The Seven. Jerry : [George plans to name his first child "Seven"] Awright, let's see. How about Mug? Mug Costanza, that's original. Or uh, Ketchup? Pretty name for a girl. George Costanza : Alright, you having a good time there? Jerry : [Jerry is in the kitchen, and opens a cupboard] I got fifty right here in the cupboard. How about Bisquik? Pimento. Gherkin. Sauce. Maxwell House.

2points

Adam Zad 1 year ago

BLANKET?!! You named your kid BLANKET? (Michael Jackson)

2points

Ozzy Pawsbourne's Mum 1 year ago

My boss is called Chrystal-Sky (all one name)

2points

The Doom Song 1 year ago

Do people not realise how the dumb name they pick will impact that kid forever?

2points

The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl 1 year ago

I once met a kid named Yue. She was named after Yue in Avatar the last airbender

1point

_physically_insane_(he/him) 6 months ago

That’s rough buddy

0points

Load More Replies...

Red Wyvern Emperor 1 year ago

Kinda surprised I didn't see Elon Musks's kid's name among these. The X Æ A-XII. I feel so sorry for the kid. He might live in luxury, but that name is a HEAVY price for it.

1point

Hphizzle 1 year ago

Not the worst but I know a Skippy, a Pepper, and a Coco. All humans. All birth certificate names.

1point

nebulamoon333 1 year ago

In 4th grade there was this girl in my class named Goodness

1point

MaryHadaLittleLamb 1 year ago

I went to school with a girl named Cinnamint. Also another girl named April Rains. Both nice girls, I hope they weren't teased too badly.

1point

starsailor (they/he) 1 year ago

Cinnamint??? how much did her parents like gum?!

3points

Load More Replies...

Jessica SpeLangm 1 year ago

I don't think most of these are "worst" names or stupid names. I think many of them are unfortunate names that have preconceived meanings that weren't intended.

1point

Libstak 1 year ago

I had a client contact named Rong Child. All I kept picturing after her birth was a nurse holding her up to her parents and asking if they have a name for her and the horrified mother who maybe spoke only a little English saying "wrong child, rong child..."

1point

Tyranamar Seuss 1 year ago

I knew someone who legally had their name changed to "God Made Chief." And the court allowed it. I also knew a Princess I always felt bad for.

0points

Lisa glass 1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Lisa glass 1 year ago

I met an 11 yr old girl named “Your Highness”. Her mom wanted me to worship and bow down to her daughter.

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Tucker Cahooter 1 year ago

A lot of these are bad but they pale against the names celebrities give their kids, in particular the chemical formula that Elon Musk and Grimes lumbered their kid with

0points

Shyla Bouche 1 year ago

In the '90's, the comedian Paul Rodriguez called out Latino parents that gave their children English words as names. He pointed out that the word "genitalia" is a very pretty word, as long as you don't know what it means. So he's pretending to introduce his children to the audience. He says, "This is my daughter, Genitalia," as he gestured where the kid would be standing, "and my son, S*****m."

0points

SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago

I knew a kid named Aaden (pronounce Aiden). It was actually a blessing because we had about 5 kids named Aiden in our class of friends so he stood out (unfortunately as the first one called by the teacher at times because of alphabetical order) but the guys turned out fine. I rarely see him but do occasionally talk to him and last I heard, he was a mobile paramedic (EMT aid on-the-go of sorts) so I just had to tease him that "Aaden be aidin' people now..." XP The good bloke took it all in stride though XD

0points

Jessica SpeLangm 1 year ago

@Sheamus....how is Aaden a bad name? It's a perfectly fine name, with ONE letter different than the typical spelling. The only unfortunate part is that the 4 other kids' parents couldn't come up with a different name.

2points

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Reggie 1 year ago

Try’Dredavarious

-2points

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