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Naming babies sure is fun - you get to learn all kinds of awesome names and choose one for your adorable spawn. However, as with almost everything in life, there are certain unspoken rules for naming human babies. First off, the name should be appropriate, meaning you shouldn’t call a little human something like Paper Clip. It’s just wrong. Second, remember that the tiny little human will someday be bigger than you, so calling your baby Baby might have repercussions in years ahead (for the Baby, not you, though). And lastly, always remember that a name has the power to make an impression on people, so one should avoid combinations like Sergeant Sergeant. Because then, your baby will absolutely have no choice but to become a Sergeant Sergeant Sergeant one day. 

And yeah, although these rules are pretty valid and not so hard to stick to, some people make it their life goal to break them. Hence this amusing Reddit thread where people shared the worst names they’ve ever seen. There’s Granny Gremlin, a preschooler named Xerox, and tons of names that might’ve been pretty fine if not for the absolutely kooky combo they make when paired with the person’s surname. Some of them are so freaky we cannot even mention them in this text! 

As to why these people’s parents chose such unfortunate names, we have no clue. Might it have been a bet to come up with the funniest name possible? Or perhaps the person was in a rush and just named their baby after the first thing that popped into their mind? Perchance a mistake? Who knows! And although we do feel sorry for the people who have to carry probably the worst names of all time, it’s nevertheless quite an entertaining read. So, scroll down below, check out the hilarious names people shared on this AskReddit thread, and vote for the most outrageous ones!

#1

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet Lemon_Scented_Seal said:
"My mom had a coworker who named her child Tequila."

8bit-meow replied:
"I was in 5th grade with a Tequila. We had a big sleepover and pretended we were at a club and she was the bartender."

Lemon_Scented_Seal Report

#2

UrDraco said:
"Icy Dong. And Erika, spelt airwrekkah."

WaitingForTheFire replied:
"Was airwrekkah born during a plane crash?"

UrDraco Report

#3

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet Jazzlike-Channel3465 said:
"An 80+-year-old lady called Gremlin."

IAmNaaatBorat replied:
"Never feed her after midnight."

Jazzlike-Channel3465 Report

#4

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet peppermintblues said:
"I’m in healthcare and the worst name I’ve seen on a kid is Meatball."

TheGoober87 replied:
"Son of Meatloaf?"

peppermintblues Report

#5

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "The girl at my school was Crystal Shanda Leer."

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#6

"Once at work, I met a guy whose first name was Greg which is not all that bad. The only thing is, his last name was also Greg

Greg Greg."

Glide1505 Report

#7

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Kaliber and his brother Gunner and their cousin Ruger."

rinky79 Report

#8

"'Messiahiscoming' is by far the worse I've heard. It's beyond ridiculous."

PointyWombat Report

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#9

mattxfish said:
"I went to school with a kid named “Phuc”. It was pronounced “fook” but seeing teachers/substitutes take attendance was always a good time."

Leaf_Warrior replied:
"From what I know it's a pretty common Vietnamese name (if I'm including Phuoc) and means "blessing" or something else with a really positive connotation. Just a bit unfortunate in how it sounds similar to a certain word in the English language."

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#10

"A guy named Ashley Hole who went by "Ash"

I s**t you not."

PiffWiffler Report

#11

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "In the military, there was this guy called Richard (Dick) Sergeant. Who was a Staff Sergeant? So his name was Staff Sergeant Dick Sergeant. He owned it though so good for him."

Rickdaquickk Report

#12

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "A few years after graduating, I found out that a guy in my grad class named his daughter Charizard."

gentlefawn98 Report

#13

"Quandale Dingle. No contest."

LeprechaunPC Report

#14

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet ddcaypuno said:
"Someone named their Child "Drink Water" here in the Philippines. The full name would be "Drink Water Rivera".
Hope that counts."

kajnbagoat7 replied:
"Drinkwater is a second name in the UK. There’s a football player called Danny Drinkwater."

ddcaypuno Report

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#15

"Worked at a credit union processing loan docs for borrowers.

Worst name: Nip Hickey.

Best name: Kitty Divine."

bravoindustry Report

#16

"In elementary school, there was a boy named Famous. His younger sister was Fashion."

sourdoughbreadlover Report

#18

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Keithesia, because her Dad's name was Keith, and because her mom was in Anesthesia when she was born. Not kidding. She seemed embarrassed to explain it to me. Poor girl."

begrudginglydfw Report

#19

"The guy up the road from where I grew up was named Harry Crack."

BonjourLavache Report

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#20

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Knew a girl named LaSonja. When I first saw her name I read it as "La-sahn-ya." She informed me that it was in fact pronounced Lasagna. Even acknowledged 'like the Italian dish.'"

BargerianJade Report

#21

"Went to school with these trailer park kids. They were twins. Bud Light and Bright Light."

DustinSRichard Report

#22

"A student I work with is named Dymmonic. It’s pronounced ‘Demonic’. Poor thing."

pregers_ Report

#23

"In high school, I knew two twins whose last name was 'Poos'. Chris Poos and Alex Poos. I called them 'the sh**s.'"

pasghetti27 Report

#24

"Clindamycin. Yes, spelled exactly the same way as the antibiotic. When questioned, the mom said 'I just thought it was pretty.'"

throwawaypanda15 Report

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#25

"Eye'n pronounced Ian.

"To be different", per his mom.

What the hell."

JustMeerkats Report

#26

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Rusty Clam. It's so bad it's almost good."

ginns32 Report

#27

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "My elementary school boyfriend in 3rd grade was named Matthew Wiener the kids started calling me Mrs Wiener so I told him I couldn’t be his girlfriend anymore lol."

UsedQuiet2862 Report

#28

"My mom was a nurse and one woman named her newborn daughter Tarantula Iguana.

Runner up is the name I heard as a camp counselor: Sevenne, pronounced like the number, and yes the kid was 7 years old."

galaxykiwikat Report

#29

"I once met a girl named Cliche."

Background_Tree_8468 Report

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#30

"Found someone's name tag and the name was Nevah Petty."

JinshiyoBari Report

#31

"My brother went to school with a kid named William William William."

pbd1996 Report

#32

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "There's a doctor at my hospital named Dr. Kunts."

KarthusWins Report

#33

"I knew a student named Baby. Sister was Princess. So Princess and Baby."

lindafancyontheb Report

#34

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "A bit of an urban legend, but here in Wales an English-speaking new mother wanted to give her daughter a Welsh name (a fairly common practice) and saw some writing on a sign in the hospital. She read the sign out loud and thought it sounded really nice and would be a good name for her daughter.

The name she gave was Allanfa Dân. This translates to Fire Exit."

a1edjohn Report

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#35

"Xerox, poor kids will be bullied for the rest of their life."

reddit.com Report

#36

"Myferson (not sure if that’s how it was spelled). It was a compacted version of “my first son”. Parents were tweakers."

westcoastnerd Report

#37

"Girth gotta be the worst name I've heard."

Tnasty006006 Report

#38

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Heard some people named their kids Khaleesi during the height of Game of Thrones... Bet they regret that now."

Penumbral_Ichor Report

#39

"My dad's coworker is named Chris Cross. "

Sarah-cidal Report

#40

"Renesmee."

potatofanatic-0 Report

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#41

ZookeepergameSea3890 said:
"Knew a girl in school, the poor thing was named Cheyfatte. Everyone pronounced it as "she fat". Their last name was Lay."

-partlycloudy- replied:
"My brain actually having trouble computing this one and keeps trying to turn it into Lafayette."

ZookeepergameSea3890 Report

#42

"Phayth! It is pronounced Faith."

Parking-Ad-1952 Report

#43

"Atreyu.

His parents named him after the character on NEVER ENDING STORY."

straight_edge_sammy Report

#44

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "One of my high school friends named her daughter Peppermint Vespa. Vespa was after Spaceballs, not the scooter. Regardless, she's going to be miserable in school. Not even a decent middle name to go by, poor kid."

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#45

"Bruhilga. It just conjures the image of an evil witch brewing her cauldron. (My friend’s aunt’s name.)"

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#47

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "I once met a kid in school named “Zachary”. The issue was that it was spelled “Zaquarie” the kid was fine, ate glue once, and was a bit standoff-ish but overall not mean for a then 5-year-old."

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#48

"I work at a daycare and I watch two sisters, one named Tesla (after Nikola Tesla, not the car) and Poe (named after Edgar Allen Poe). I see ridiculous names every day watching children but those have probably been the worst."

lillianrosalieee Report

#49

Lone_Ronin_ said:
"0nica pronounced Zeronica, that’s a zero, not an o."

SweetAlbaD replied:
"What country allows numbers in names?"

herranton replied:
"The USA, in many states. Unless they are specifically banned at the state level, you can include numbers while naming a child. Some states do ban it though."

Lone_Ronin_ Report

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#50

"I know a woman whose name is Thumbelina."

PeppermintPhatty Report

#51

"I went to High School with a girl named 'Candy Ho.'"

Raxtenko Report

#52

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "I tutored a homeschooled kid name Godspromise, I went to school with a girl named Barry-Anne and I have taught multiple kids with the middle name Danger.

On a different note, I also taught an 8-year-old named Ian. I don't know why that's as funny to me as it is. An absolutely fantastic kid too."

philby-mack Report

#53

"I have a baby nephew named Eros, I frequently make jokes about his name to my wife, in private, of course. I heard his name again yesterday and I was "Really? We're still calling him that? If there was a person that needed a nickname, it was that kid. I propose we call him Mordecai.'"

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#54

"Distant relative named their son Ur'Majesty."

sunkissedbear1212 Report

#55

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet GentlemanLuis said:
"Met a girl in college my first year who was named 'Jewel-Leah'."

Poptart270 replied:
"So like Julia but spelled differently?"

GentlemanLuis Report

#56

"Eden Seamenn. I felt so bad for her."

Adventurous_Mind_775 Report

#57

zubaz69 said:
"Cornelvis. Yes, it's really someone's name."

Scrapper-Mom replied:
"Like a weird marriage between "Cornelius" and "Elvis"."

zubaz69 Report

#58

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "My sister's sister-in-law named her son Brewer."

bijouby Report

#59

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet aRiotofPenguins said:
"I knew a girl in high school named Tuesday."

martusfine replied:
"Tuesday means “to shine”; wherever you are. Tuesday, I hope you’re shining brightly."

aRiotofPenguins Report

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#60

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Cash dynamite, to the mom named Exclamation."

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#62

"Gelsey. Kelsey with a G like in gallon. Ugh."

blackbird163 Report

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#63

"I taught a kid whose real name is Ricky Rock n’ Roll Smith."

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#65

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "I was riding an Amtrak train. I was in my early 20s at the time. I was seated next to a high school kid. We got to talking. He told me his last name was Virgin. I immediately started laughing and then said, "Wow, I'm sorry, I should not have laughed." He graciously accepted my apology."

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#66

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Probably Godwill. Not because it's a bad name, the guy just ended up being, not Christian."

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#67

"There's a kid in my baby brother's class named "Nice"..."

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