ADVERTISEMENT

Naming babies sure is fun - you get to learn all kinds of awesome names and choose one for your adorable spawn. However, as with almost everything in life, there are certain unspoken rules for naming human babies. First off, the name should be appropriate, meaning you shouldn’t call a little human something like Paper Clip. It’s just wrong. Second, remember that the tiny little human will someday be bigger than you, so calling your baby Baby might have repercussions in years ahead (for the Baby, not you, though). And lastly, always remember that a name has the power to make an impression on people, so one should avoid combinations like Sergeant Sergeant. Because then, your baby will absolutely have no choice but to become a Sergeant Sergeant Sergeant one day. 

And yeah, although these rules are pretty valid and not so hard to stick to, some people make it their life goal to break them. Hence this amusing Reddit thread where people shared the worst names they’ve ever seen. There’s Granny Gremlin, a preschooler named Xerox, and tons of names that might’ve been pretty fine if not for the absolutely kooky combo they make when paired with the person’s surname. Some of them are so freaky we cannot even mention them in this text! 

As to why these people’s parents chose such unfortunate names, we have no clue. Might it have been a bet to come up with the funniest name possible? Or perhaps the person was in a rush and just named their baby after the first thing that popped into their mind? Perchance a mistake? Who knows! And although we do feel sorry for the people who have to carry probably the worst names of all time, it’s nevertheless quite an entertaining read. So, scroll down below, check out the hilarious names people shared on this AskReddit thread, and vote for the most outrageous ones!

#1

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet Lemon_Scented_Seal said:
"My mom had a coworker who named her child Tequila."

8bit-meow replied:
"I was in 5th grade with a Tequila. We had a big sleepover and pretended we were at a club and she was the bartender."

Lemon_Scented_Seal Report

Add photo comments
POST
The Doom Song
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Her siblings names are Smirnoff, Bombay, Ballentines and Turkey. I'm guessing what the were conceived on

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#2

UrDraco said:
"Icy Dong. And Erika, spelt airwrekkah."

WaitingForTheFire replied:
"Was airwrekkah born during a plane crash?"

UrDraco Report

#3

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet Jazzlike-Channel3465 said:
"An 80+-year-old lady called Gremlin."

IAmNaaatBorat replied:
"Never feed her after midnight."

Jazzlike-Channel3465 Report

#4

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet peppermintblues said:
"I’m in healthcare and the worst name I’ve seen on a kid is Meatball."

TheGoober87 replied:
"Son of Meatloaf?"

peppermintblues Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#6

"Once at work, I met a guy whose first name was Greg which is not all that bad. The only thing is, his last name was also Greg

Greg Greg."

Glide1505 Report

#7

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Kaliber and his brother Gunner and their cousin Ruger."

rinky79 Report

#8

"'Messiahiscoming' is by far the worse I've heard. It's beyond ridiculous."

PointyWombat Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#9

mattxfish said:
"I went to school with a kid named “Phuc”. It was pronounced “fook” but seeing teachers/substitutes take attendance was always a good time."

Leaf_Warrior replied:
"From what I know it's a pretty common Vietnamese name (if I'm including Phuoc) and means "blessing" or something else with a really positive connotation. Just a bit unfortunate in how it sounds similar to a certain word in the English language."

mattxfish Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#11

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "In the military, there was this guy called Richard (Dick) Sergeant. Who was a Staff Sergeant? So his name was Staff Sergeant Dick Sergeant. He owned it though so good for him."

Rickdaquickk Report

Add photo comments
POST
Donkey boi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It dates back to the middle ages (well before D**k was used to denote penis) where they liked rhyming. Richard gets shortened to Rich, then Ric(k), which sounds like D**k. Just like William is Will, which sounds like Bill. Robert, becomes Rob, which sounds like Bob. Margaret, abbreviated to Meggy, rhymes with Peggy. D**k never meant Penis until the 1880's an only became a term for an arsehole in the 1960's. At some point in the 1700's a d**k was a slang term for a male sexual partner. Prior to that it you were 'dicking' someone you were watching them (usually someone with authority waiting to see if you are going to cause trouble. eg, 'Don't do it now, the headmaster is dicking you').

Load More Replies...
Glenn Christensen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do you even get D**k from Richard? I guess you could just ask nicely.

Bidango Smith
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had a neighbour who's last name was Major and his rank was Sargent ... "promoting him" to Sargent Major. He said their was another guy in his platoon who was Major General.

RamiRudolph
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why does that make me think of Duty Calls that was used to advertise Bullet Storm.

Red Wyvern Emperor
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wasn't there a story about two officers. One was colonel named Lieutenant and one liautenant named Colonel, if I recall it right. XD

Auntriarch
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We have a police officer surnamed Sergeant. And yes, he did get promoted. But my favourite was police constable Paul Colin Peacey. PC P.C. Peacey

Load More Replies...
Riche White
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was in the National Guard we had a sergeant who's last name was Major, and a major who's last name was Sargent

Tucker Cahooter
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There was a politician in Australia called Richard Face. I don't think he was worried about being called D**k Face, I am pretty sure he used that himself at one point

Elchinero
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom said she knew lady who named their kid "Guy" Pronounced "Gooey"

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#12

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "A few years after graduating, I found out that a guy in my grad class named his daughter Charizard."

gentlefawn98 Report

#14

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet ddcaypuno said:
"Someone named their Child "Drink Water" here in the Philippines. The full name would be "Drink Water Rivera".
Hope that counts."

kajnbagoat7 replied:
"Drinkwater is a second name in the UK. There’s a football player called Danny Drinkwater."

ddcaypuno Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#15

"Worked at a credit union processing loan docs for borrowers.

Worst name: Nip Hickey.

Best name: Kitty Divine."

bravoindustry Report

#16

"In elementary school, there was a boy named Famous. His younger sister was Fashion."

sourdoughbreadlover Report

#18

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Keithesia, because her Dad's name was Keith, and because her mom was in Anesthesia when she was born. Not kidding. She seemed embarrassed to explain it to me. Poor girl."

begrudginglydfw Report

Add photo comments
POST
Adam Zad
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A woman had paternal twins, a boy and a girl. When she came out of the anesthesia, she was told her brother had named the kids. "Oh, no!" She said. "My brother is an idiot! What did he name them?" She was told the girl's name was Denice. "Well, that's not too bad," she said. "What about the boy?" "Denephew."

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#19

"The guy up the road from where I grew up was named Harry Crack."

BonjourLavache Report

Add photo comments
POST
Never Snarky
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Former Mayor of Fort Wayne, Indiana was named Harry (not Harold) Baals.

View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#20

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Knew a girl named LaSonja. When I first saw her name I read it as "La-sahn-ya." She informed me that it was in fact pronounced Lasagna. Even acknowledged 'like the Italian dish.'"

BargerianJade Report

#21

"Went to school with these trailer park kids. They were twins. Bud Light and Bright Light."

DustinSRichard Report

Add photo comments
POST
Raven Sheridan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Poor Bud Light. I bet all of the other trailer park kids are now boycotting him. 😔

View more commentsArrow down menu
#22

"A student I work with is named Dymmonic. It’s pronounced ‘Demonic’. Poor thing."

pregers_ Report

#23

"In high school, I knew two twins whose last name was 'Poos'. Chris Poos and Alex Poos. I called them 'the sh**s.'"

pasghetti27 Report

#24

"Clindamycin. Yes, spelled exactly the same way as the antibiotic. When questioned, the mom said 'I just thought it was pretty.'"

throwawaypanda15 Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#25

"Eye'n pronounced Ian.

"To be different", per his mom.

What the hell."

JustMeerkats Report

#26

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Rusty Clam. It's so bad it's almost good."

ginns32 Report

Add photo comments
POST
Donkey boi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what my ex used to call it when she was on her period, 'Can you get me some pads when you go shopping? I've got a rusty clam'.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#27

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "My elementary school boyfriend in 3rd grade was named Matthew Wiener the kids started calling me Mrs Wiener so I told him I couldn’t be his girlfriend anymore lol."

UsedQuiet2862 Report

Add photo comments
POST
Little king trash mouth
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Had a school principal with that last name who INSISTED it was pronounced "whiner." Sure, Jan.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#28

"My mom was a nurse and one woman named her newborn daughter Tarantula Iguana.

Runner up is the name I heard as a camp counselor: Sevenne, pronounced like the number, and yes the kid was 7 years old."

galaxykiwikat Report

ADVERTISEMENT
#30

"Found someone's name tag and the name was Nevah Petty."

JinshiyoBari Report

#31

"My brother went to school with a kid named William William William."

pbd1996 Report

Add photo comments
POST
Susan Bosse
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My college history professor's daughter was Amy Hawkins but married an Amy. So she was Amy Amy.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#33

"I knew a student named Baby. Sister was Princess. So Princess and Baby."

lindafancyontheb Report

#34

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "A bit of an urban legend, but here in Wales an English-speaking new mother wanted to give her daughter a Welsh name (a fairly common practice) and saw some writing on a sign in the hospital. She read the sign out loud and thought it sounded really nice and would be a good name for her daughter.

The name she gave was Allanfa Dân. This translates to Fire Exit."

a1edjohn Report

Add photo comments
POST
Donkey boi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My nephew is named the Irish slang for penis, because my sister is an idiot.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#35

"Xerox, poor kids will be bullied for the rest of their life."

reddit.com Report

#36

"Myferson (not sure if that’s how it was spelled). It was a compacted version of “my first son”. Parents were tweakers."

westcoastnerd Report

#38

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Heard some people named their kids Khaleesi during the height of Game of Thrones... Bet they regret that now."

Penumbral_Ichor Report

#39

"My dad's coworker is named Chris Cross. "

Sarah-cidal Report

Add photo comments
POST
Jessica SpeLangm
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's not a stupid name. It just happens to be the same name as a one hit wonder duo.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#41

ZookeepergameSea3890 said:
"Knew a girl in school, the poor thing was named Cheyfatte. Everyone pronounced it as "she fat". Their last name was Lay."

-partlycloudy- replied:
"My brain actually having trouble computing this one and keeps trying to turn it into Lafayette."

ZookeepergameSea3890 Report

Add photo comments
POST
Turd Ferguson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get why they included the last name, is there a joke I'm missing here or am I just dumb?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#43

"Atreyu.

His parents named him after the character on NEVER ENDING STORY."

straight_edge_sammy Report

Add photo comments
POST
YTK
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ha, I was named after the dwarf king in lord of the rings. To add on to the stupidity, I’m taller than both my parents

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#44

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "One of my high school friends named her daughter Peppermint Vespa. Vespa was after Spaceballs, not the scooter. Regardless, she's going to be miserable in school. Not even a decent middle name to go by, poor kid."

ArizonaZZ Report

#45

"Bruhilga. It just conjures the image of an evil witch brewing her cauldron. (My friend’s aunt’s name.)"

reddit.com Report

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#47

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "I once met a kid in school named “Zachary”. The issue was that it was spelled “Zaquarie” the kid was fine, ate glue once, and was a bit standoff-ish but overall not mean for a then 5-year-old."

anonymous01310555 Report

#48

"I work at a daycare and I watch two sisters, one named Tesla (after Nikola Tesla, not the car) and Poe (named after Edgar Allen Poe). I see ridiculous names every day watching children but those have probably been the worst."

lillianrosalieee Report

#49

Lone_Ronin_ said:
"0nica pronounced Zeronica, that’s a zero, not an o."

SweetAlbaD replied:
"What country allows numbers in names?"

herranton replied:
"The USA, in many states. Unless they are specifically banned at the state level, you can include numbers while naming a child. Some states do ban it though."

Lone_Ronin_ Report

Add photo comments
POST
Vic
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's it! I'm naming my next kid 1-3 pronounced entree!

View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#50

"I know a woman whose name is Thumbelina."

PeppermintPhatty Report

Add photo comments
POST
Rebel Peewee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I know a Cinderella! She has a loooong chin hair she's been growing for a decade, it's her pride and joy.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#51

"I went to High School with a girl named 'Candy Ho.'"

Raxtenko Report

#52

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "I tutored a homeschooled kid name Godspromise, I went to school with a girl named Barry-Anne and I have taught multiple kids with the middle name Danger.

On a different note, I also taught an 8-year-old named Ian. I don't know why that's as funny to me as it is. An absolutely fantastic kid too."

philby-mack Report

#53

"I have a baby nephew named Eros, I frequently make jokes about his name to my wife, in private, of course. I heard his name again yesterday and I was "Really? We're still calling him that? If there was a person that needed a nickname, it was that kid. I propose we call him Mordecai.'"

OinkMcOink Report

ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#54

"Distant relative named their son Ur'Majesty."

sunkissedbear1212 Report

Add photo comments
POST
Natty Tempest
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had two characters in a book called 'prince' and 'duchess' and they call their son 'duke'... I worried it was really odd until I remembered it's a book about fungus zombies

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#55

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet GentlemanLuis said:
"Met a girl in college my first year who was named 'Jewel-Leah'."

Poptart270 replied:
"So like Julia but spelled differently?"

GentlemanLuis Report

#57

zubaz69 said:
"Cornelvis. Yes, it's really someone's name."

Scrapper-Mom replied:
"Like a weird marriage between "Cornelius" and "Elvis"."

zubaz69 Report

Add photo comments
POST
Turd Ferguson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This bothers me too much. I personally can't stand when portmanteaus end up featuring all of one word as opposed to just part of it.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#58

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "My sister's sister-in-law named her son Brewer."

bijouby Report

#59

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet aRiotofPenguins said:
"I knew a girl in high school named Tuesday."

martusfine replied:
"Tuesday means “to shine”; wherever you are. Tuesday, I hope you’re shining brightly."

aRiotofPenguins Report

Add photo comments
POST
Nosirrow
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yikes, named after the Germanic god Tiu, God of war. At least Wednesday is the day of Odin, he's cooler than Tiu, or Tyr.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#60

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Cash dynamite, to the mom named Exclamation."

Dogsandtoads Report

Add photo comments
POST
GDTRFB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My daughter was filling in Valentine’s Day cards for her second grade class. When she showed me, I pointed out what looked like an obvious spelling error. My daughter showed me the class roster to prove she was right. Sure enough, she had a classmate named Teerreessaa.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#61

"Bliss Angel."

Nacho_eating_Zombie Report

Add photo comments
POST
Satan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nope. Nope. How do you look at a baby and give it the name of a stripper you saw last week?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#62

"Gelsey. Kelsey with a G like in gallon. Ugh."

blackbird163 Report

Add photo comments
POST
#63

"I taught a kid whose real name is Ricky Rock n’ Roll Smith."

Hopeful__Historian Report

#65

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "I was riding an Amtrak train. I was in my early 20s at the time. I was seated next to a high school kid. We got to talking. He told me his last name was Virgin. I immediately started laughing and then said, "Wow, I'm sorry, I should not have laughed." He graciously accepted my apology."

princeofallcosmos92 Report

Add photo comments
POST
Nosirrow
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is a funny surname. Mine means a loaf of bread, I'm used to teasing.

View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#66

67 Of The Worst Names Ever, As Documented By People On The Internet "Probably Godwill. Not because it's a bad name, the guy just ended up being, not Christian."

Recent_View6254 Report

#67

"There's a kid in my baby brother's class named "Nice"..."

reddit.com Report

Add photo comments
POST
Nosirrow
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In the late 90s I heard of a Polish girl named Nike, after the goddess or whoever she was. Pronounced Nikeh, without/ai/.

View more commentsArrow down menu