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Naming babies sure is fun - you get to learn all kinds of awesome names and choose one for your adorable spawn. However, as with almost everything in life, there are certain unspoken rules for naming human babies. First off, the name should be appropriate, meaning you shouldn’t call a little human something like Paper Clip. It’s just wrong. Second, remember that the tiny little human will someday be bigger than you, so calling your baby Baby might have repercussions in years ahead (for the Baby, not you, though). And lastly, always remember that a name has the power to make an impression on people, so one should avoid combinations like Sergeant Sergeant. Because then, your baby will absolutely have no choice but to become a Sergeant Sergeant Sergeant one day.
And yeah, although these rules are pretty valid and not so hard to stick to, some people make it their life goal to break them. Hence this amusing Reddit thread where people shared the worst names they’ve ever seen. There’s Granny Gremlin, a preschooler named Xerox, and tons of names that might’ve been pretty fine if not for the absolutely kooky combo they make when paired with the person’s surname. Some of them are so freaky we cannot even mention them in this text!
As to why these people’s parents chose such unfortunate names, we have no clue. Might it have been a bet to come up with the funniest name possible? Or perhaps the person was in a rush and just named their baby after the first thing that popped into their mind? Perchance a mistake? Who knows! And although we do feel sorry for the people who have to carry probably the worst names of all time, it’s nevertheless quite an entertaining read. So, scroll down below, check out the hilarious names people shared on this AskReddit thread, and vote for the most outrageous ones!
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#1
Lemon_Scented_Seal said:
"My mom had a coworker who named her child Tequila."
8bit-meow replied:
"I was in 5th grade with a Tequila. We had a big sleepover and pretended we were at a club and she was the bartender."
#2
UrDraco said:
"Icy Dong. And Erika, spelt airwrekkah."
WaitingForTheFire replied:
"Was airwrekkah born during a plane crash?"
#3
Jazzlike-Channel3465 said:
"An 80+-year-old lady called Gremlin."
IAmNaaatBorat replied:
"Never feed her after midnight."
#4
peppermintblues said:
"I’m in healthcare and the worst name I’ve seen on a kid is Meatball."
TheGoober87 replied:
"Son of Meatloaf?"
#6
"Once at work, I met a guy whose first name was Greg which is not all that bad. The only thing is, his last name was also Greg
Greg Greg."
#8
"'Messiahiscoming' is by far the worse I've heard. It's beyond ridiculous."
#9
mattxfish said:
"I went to school with a kid named “Phuc”. It was pronounced “fook” but seeing teachers/substitutes take attendance was always a good time."
Leaf_Warrior replied:
"From what I know it's a pretty common Vietnamese name (if I'm including Phuoc) and means "blessing" or something else with a really positive connotation. Just a bit unfortunate in how it sounds similar to a certain word in the English language."
#11
"In the military, there was this guy called Richard (Dick) Sergeant. Who was a Staff Sergeant? So his name was Staff Sergeant Dick Sergeant. He owned it though so good for him."
Donkey boi 1 year ago
It dates back to the middle ages (well before D**k was used to denote penis) where they liked rhyming. Richard gets shortened to Rich, then Ric(k), which sounds like D**k. Just like William is Will, which sounds like Bill. Robert, becomes Rob, which sounds like Bob. Margaret, abbreviated to Meggy, rhymes with Peggy. D**k never meant Penis until the 1880's an only became a term for an arsehole in the 1960's. At some point in the 1700's a d**k was a slang term for a male sexual partner. Prior to that it you were 'dicking' someone you were watching them (usually someone with authority waiting to see if you are going to cause trouble. eg, 'Don't do it now, the headmaster is dicking you').
Load More Replies...
Nancy Marine 1 year ago
D**k Sargeant was the name of the first person to play the husband in the show Bewitched.
Glenn Christensen 1 year ago
How do you even get D**k from Richard? I guess you could just ask nicely.
Bidango Smith 1 year ago
I had a neighbour who's last name was Major and his rank was Sargent ... "promoting him" to Sargent Major. He said their was another guy in his platoon who was Major General.
RamiRudolph 1 year ago
Why does that make me think of Duty Calls that was used to advertise Bullet Storm.
Red Wyvern Emperor 1 year ago
Wasn't there a story about two officers. One was colonel named Lieutenant and one liautenant named Colonel, if I recall it right. XD
Auntriarch 1 year ago
We have a police officer surnamed Sergeant. And yes, he did get promoted. But my favourite was police constable Paul Colin Peacey. PC P.C. Peacey
Load More Replies... Riche White 1 year ago
When I was in the National Guard we had a sergeant who's last name was Major, and a major who's last name was Sargent
Tucker Cahooter 1 year ago
There was a politician in Australia called Richard Face. I don't think he was worried about being called D**k Face, I am pretty sure he used that himself at one point
#12
"A few years after graduating, I found out that a guy in my grad class named his daughter Charizard."
#14
ddcaypuno said:
"Someone named their Child "Drink Water" here in the Philippines. The full name would be "Drink Water Rivera".
Hope that counts."
kajnbagoat7 replied:
"Drinkwater is a second name in the UK. There’s a football player called Danny Drinkwater."
#15
"Worked at a credit union processing loan docs for borrowers.
Worst name: Nip Hickey.
Best name: Kitty Divine."
#16
"In elementary school, there was a boy named Famous. His younger sister was Fashion."
#18
"Keithesia, because her Dad's name was Keith, and because her mom was in Anesthesia when she was born. Not kidding. She seemed embarrassed to explain it to me. Poor girl."
#20
"Knew a girl named LaSonja. When I first saw her name I read it as "La-sahn-ya." She informed me that it was in fact pronounced Lasagna. Even acknowledged 'like the Italian dish.'"
#21
"Went to school with these trailer park kids. They were twins. Bud Light and Bright Light."
#22
"A student I work with is named Dymmonic. It’s pronounced ‘Demonic’. Poor thing."
#23
"In high school, I knew two twins whose last name was 'Poos'. Chris Poos and Alex Poos. I called them 'the sh**s.'"
#24
"Clindamycin. Yes, spelled exactly the same way as the antibiotic. When questioned, the mom said 'I just thought it was pretty.'"
#27
"My elementary school boyfriend in 3rd grade was named Matthew Wiener the kids started calling me Mrs Wiener so I told him I couldn’t be his girlfriend anymore lol."
#28
"My mom was a nurse and one woman named her newborn daughter Tarantula Iguana.
Runner up is the name I heard as a camp counselor: Sevenne, pronounced like the number, and yes the kid was 7 years old."
#33
"I knew a student named Baby. Sister was Princess. So Princess and Baby."
#34
"A bit of an urban legend, but here in Wales an English-speaking new mother wanted to give her daughter a Welsh name (a fairly common practice) and saw some writing on a sign in the hospital. She read the sign out loud and thought it sounded really nice and would be a good name for her daughter.
The name she gave was Allanfa Dân. This translates to Fire Exit."
#36
"Myferson (not sure if that’s how it was spelled). It was a compacted version of “my first son”. Parents were tweakers."
#38
"Heard some people named their kids Khaleesi during the height of Game of Thrones... Bet they regret that now."
#41
ZookeepergameSea3890 said:
"Knew a girl in school, the poor thing was named Cheyfatte. Everyone pronounced it as "she fat". Their last name was Lay."
-partlycloudy- replied:
"My brain actually having trouble computing this one and keeps trying to turn it into Lafayette."
#43
"Atreyu.
His parents named him after the character on NEVER ENDING STORY."
#44
"One of my high school friends named her daughter Peppermint Vespa. Vespa was after Spaceballs, not the scooter. Regardless, she's going to be miserable in school. Not even a decent middle name to go by, poor kid."
#45
"Bruhilga. It just conjures the image of an evil witch brewing her cauldron. (My friend’s aunt’s name.)"
#47
"I once met a kid in school named “Zachary”. The issue was that it was spelled “Zaquarie” the kid was fine, ate glue once, and was a bit standoff-ish but overall not mean for a then 5-year-old."
#48
"I work at a daycare and I watch two sisters, one named Tesla (after Nikola Tesla, not the car) and Poe (named after Edgar Allen Poe). I see ridiculous names every day watching children but those have probably been the worst."
#49
Lone_Ronin_ said:
"0nica pronounced Zeronica, that’s a zero, not an o."
SweetAlbaD replied:
"What country allows numbers in names?"
herranton replied:
"The USA, in many states. Unless they are specifically banned at the state level, you can include numbers while naming a child. Some states do ban it though."
#52
"I tutored a homeschooled kid name Godspromise, I went to school with a girl named Barry-Anne and I have taught multiple kids with the middle name Danger.
On a different note, I also taught an 8-year-old named Ian. I don't know why that's as funny to me as it is. An absolutely fantastic kid too."
#53
"I have a baby nephew named Eros, I frequently make jokes about his name to my wife, in private, of course. I heard his name again yesterday and I was "Really? We're still calling him that? If there was a person that needed a nickname, it was that kid. I propose we call him Mordecai.'"
#55
GentlemanLuis said:
"Met a girl in college my first year who was named 'Jewel-Leah'."
Poptart270 replied:
"So like Julia but spelled differently?"
#57
zubaz69 said:
"Cornelvis. Yes, it's really someone's name."
Scrapper-Mom replied:
"Like a weird marriage between "Cornelius" and "Elvis"."
#59
aRiotofPenguins said:
"I knew a girl in high school named Tuesday."
martusfine replied:
"Tuesday means “to shine”; wherever you are. Tuesday, I hope you’re shining brightly."
#65
"I was riding an Amtrak train. I was in my early 20s at the time. I was seated next to a high school kid. We got to talking. He told me his last name was Virgin. I immediately started laughing and then said, "Wow, I'm sorry, I should not have laughed." He graciously accepted my apology."
#66
"Probably Godwill. Not because it's a bad name, the guy just ended up being, not Christian."
What do you think ?
Lisa glass 1 year ago
I know a little girl, whose name is “Your Highness “. Her mother is a piece.
Zoey Rayne 1 year ago
My sister went to middle school with a girl whose parents did not speak English and unfortunately thought "Latrine" sounded like a pretty name.
Sabrina Bowen 1 year ago
I have you all beat. I knew a girl named Shi'thead. It was pronounced SHI-theed. But spelled like shithead.
Duncan 1 year ago
I can't help of thinking about the Seinfeld episode, The Seven. Jerry : [George plans to name his first child "Seven"] Awright, let's see. How about Mug? Mug Costanza, that's original. Or uh, Ketchup? Pretty name for a girl. George Costanza : Alright, you having a good time there? Jerry : [Jerry is in the kitchen, and opens a cupboard] I got fifty right here in the cupboard. How about Bisquik? Pimento. Gherkin. Sauce. Maxwell House.
The Doom Song 1 year ago
Do people not realise how the dumb name they pick will impact that kid forever?
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl 1 year ago
I once met a kid named Yue. She was named after Yue in Avatar the last airbender
Red Wyvern Emperor 1 year ago
Kinda surprised I didn't see Elon Musks's kid's name among these. The X Æ A-XII. I feel so sorry for the kid. He might live in luxury, but that name is a HEAVY price for it.
MaryHadaLittleLamb 1 year ago
I went to school with a girl named Cinnamint. Also another girl named April Rains. Both nice girls, I hope they weren't teased too badly.
starsailor (they/he) 1 year ago
Cinnamint??? how much did her parents like gum?!
Load More Replies...
Jessica SpeLangm 1 year ago
I don't think most of these are "worst" names or stupid names. I think many of them are unfortunate names that have preconceived meanings that weren't intended.
Tyranamar Seuss 1 year ago
I knew someone who legally had their name changed to "God Made Chief." And the court allowed it. I also knew a Princess I always felt bad for.
Lisa glass 1 year ago
I met an 11 yr old girl named “Your Highness”. Her mom wanted me to worship and bow down to her daughter.
Tucker Cahooter 1 year ago
A lot of these are bad but they pale against the names celebrities give their kids, in particular the chemical formula that Elon Musk and Grimes lumbered their kid with
Shyla Bouche 1 year ago
In the '90's, the comedian Paul Rodriguez called out Latino parents that gave their children English words as names. He pointed out that the word "genitalia" is a very pretty word, as long as you don't know what it means. So he's pretending to introduce his children to the audience. He says, "This is my daughter, Genitalia," as he gestured where the kid would be standing, "and my son, S*****m."
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
I knew a kid named Aaden (pronounce Aiden). It was actually a blessing because we had about 5 kids named Aiden in our class of friends so he stood out (unfortunately as the first one called by the teacher at times because of alphabetical order) but the guys turned out fine. I rarely see him but do occasionally talk to him and last I heard, he was a mobile paramedic (EMT aid on-the-go of sorts) so I just had to tease him that "Aaden be aidin' people now..." XP The good bloke took it all in stride though XD
Jessica SpeLangm 1 year ago
@Sheamus....how is Aaden a bad name? It's a perfectly fine name, with ONE letter different than the typical spelling. The only unfortunate part is that the 4 other kids' parents couldn't come up with a different name.
Load More Replies... Lisa glass 1 year ago
I know a little girl, whose name is “Your Highness “. Her mother is a piece.
Zoey Rayne 1 year ago
My sister went to middle school with a girl whose parents did not speak English and unfortunately thought "Latrine" sounded like a pretty name.
Sabrina Bowen 1 year ago
I have you all beat. I knew a girl named Shi'thead. It was pronounced SHI-theed. But spelled like shithead.
Duncan 1 year ago
I can't help of thinking about the Seinfeld episode, The Seven. Jerry : [George plans to name his first child "Seven"] Awright, let's see. How about Mug? Mug Costanza, that's original. Or uh, Ketchup? Pretty name for a girl. George Costanza : Alright, you having a good time there? Jerry : [Jerry is in the kitchen, and opens a cupboard] I got fifty right here in the cupboard. How about Bisquik? Pimento. Gherkin. Sauce. Maxwell House.
The Doom Song 1 year ago
Do people not realise how the dumb name they pick will impact that kid forever?
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl 1 year ago
I once met a kid named Yue. She was named after Yue in Avatar the last airbender
Red Wyvern Emperor 1 year ago
Kinda surprised I didn't see Elon Musks's kid's name among these. The X Æ A-XII. I feel so sorry for the kid. He might live in luxury, but that name is a HEAVY price for it.
MaryHadaLittleLamb 1 year ago
I went to school with a girl named Cinnamint. Also another girl named April Rains. Both nice girls, I hope they weren't teased too badly.
starsailor (they/he) 1 year ago
Cinnamint??? how much did her parents like gum?!
Load More Replies... Jessica SpeLangm 1 year ago
I don't think most of these are "worst" names or stupid names. I think many of them are unfortunate names that have preconceived meanings that weren't intended.
Tyranamar Seuss 1 year ago
I knew someone who legally had their name changed to "God Made Chief." And the court allowed it. I also knew a Princess I always felt bad for.
Lisa glass 1 year ago
I met an 11 yr old girl named “Your Highness”. Her mom wanted me to worship and bow down to her daughter.
Tucker Cahooter 1 year ago
A lot of these are bad but they pale against the names celebrities give their kids, in particular the chemical formula that Elon Musk and Grimes lumbered their kid with
Shyla Bouche 1 year ago
In the '90's, the comedian Paul Rodriguez called out Latino parents that gave their children English words as names. He pointed out that the word "genitalia" is a very pretty word, as long as you don't know what it means. So he's pretending to introduce his children to the audience. He says, "This is my daughter, Genitalia," as he gestured where the kid would be standing, "and my son, S*****m."
SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago
I knew a kid named Aaden (pronounce Aiden). It was actually a blessing because we had about 5 kids named Aiden in our class of friends so he stood out (unfortunately as the first one called by the teacher at times because of alphabetical order) but the guys turned out fine. I rarely see him but do occasionally talk to him and last I heard, he was a mobile paramedic (EMT aid on-the-go of sorts) so I just had to tease him that "Aaden be aidin' people now..." XP The good bloke took it all in stride though XD
Jessica SpeLangm 1 year ago
@Sheamus....how is Aaden a bad name? It's a perfectly fine name, with ONE letter different than the typical spelling. The only unfortunate part is that the 4 other kids' parents couldn't come up with a different name.
Load More Replies... You May Like “Die In A Minute”: 40 Times Autocorrect Made A Mess From A Normal Text The Ultimate List Of Funny Names People Are Cracking Up At These 50 Hilarious Wi-Fi Names Shared By Folks Online
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