"😂" she said unprofessionally

This is why it is now hard to believe any real heartwarming stories on the internet these days

Basically all corporate world, using pompous words to bulls**t their way into high level positions...

Wow... see what I was saying earlier, the internet is just fiction now

As a job hunter, it actually helps. Haven't heard back from company x in 2'weeks and their HR suddenly checks your profile - need to follow up today with person who viewed.

This "non-executive director" is so proud of their new invention. We better not tell her...

Hey, I met that guy! I think he's still talking about himself. Or to himself. Something like that...

That feels like every platform

Humility at its best!!!

You what? So this prick assumes that his interns should be poor, and punishes them for not being poor? How the f*** does a boss have anything to say about an employee's personal belongings anyway? It's insane how many people confuse wealth with personal worth.

Wow, this is so embarassing that it hurts.

With a heart heavy as a stone he sat behind his mahogany desk engulfed in the warm yellowish light of his turn-of-the-century banker's lamps, while he read yet another publisher's e-mail rejecting his manuscript. Apparently his style of writing was deemed to be 'archaic' and 'over the top'.

24 screens? He's a security guard?

These people's lives are motivational videos... pretentious, fake, and infuriating.

News flash - the smell of coffee can only fill your sense of (wait for it) smell.

now I want to kiss a sleephead too. wtf is that though

This is the biggest CRINGE so far. Nobody talks this way about their real life, Hemingway.

This sounds like a parody.

And he will one day die and rot and be completely forgotten like everyone else.

Can you imagine sitting next to this guy at a dinner ? Do what his wife does and pretend you are asleep !

Oh, barf.

He kisses his wife "sleep" head? Lol lol

Who made the coffee? Check your house sir, some ghosts wake up around 4 am and brew your coffee. Yikes!

Who brewed the coffee? Why does he light his garden at night? So many questions ...

If the wife and kids were asleep... who made the coffee? :D

He forgot the part where everybody else sleeps a little better just knowing that asshole left.

I sure hope he's not a book editor!

A tad too much for someone who spends 99% of the time remote working in his underwear, but OK...

Who are you, Tony Stark?

Eh. Some people really do feel like that in the morning. Good for them. I just hope they stay a mile away from me who does not wake up raring to go and would rather just skip mornings altogether.

Good thing you have all those women and computer activated things in your life or things could get messy!!

How is the coffee brewed already.

So pathetic

what a flipping goober

24 screens. The guy's a security guard that monitors security cameras...

the cringe level is just too high

Who made the coffee?

Of for f*cks sake, surprised this guys ego isn’t too big for that mirror. Wanker

It reads like the beginning of a novel

... posted at 2:00pm.

shoot me.

Remember in school when the essay had to be so many words and you busted out a thesaurus?

The smell of a*hole filling my senses.

Legit thought he wrote “peeing out the window”

this sounds like a crappy movie trailer.

Waiting for the part where he said he’ll eat lightning and crap thunder, it never came.

"Wife's sleep head" what the actual????? I cannot-

Who is the poor sap that has to brew his coffee for him? They are the real hero!