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140 The Office Quotes Every Fan Should Know By Heart

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During the last couple of decades or so, we’ve had some pretty excellent TV series, yet somehow, only a fraction of them have made such an impact on the audiences and pop culture as the one and only The Office. From its painful relatability to loveable characters and goofy humor, The Office proved to be a smash hit for the last ten years or so.
And let’s not forget the endless stream of The Office memes that keep the show alive and well in the digital age. To commemorate its ingenuity once more, we’ve created a list full of only the most awesome The Office quotes and are delivering them straight to your screens for reading pleasure. So, get ready for giggles and eye-opening moments, and scroll down below to meet our selection!
But, before you do, though, should we bet whose funny quotes, besides Michael, you’ll find the most in this list? Will it be the gems of thought from the enigma known as Dwight? Or maybe the most loveable cat lady, Angela? Or perhaps the very insightful quotes from Tuna will be the most numerous here? Well, there’s only one way to figure it out, and it is by checking out The Office quotes and doing a thorough count! Doesn’t that sound fun?
So, you’re probably ripe enough with curiosity, and it is time to finally skip to the fun, unexpectedly moving quotes themselves, am I right? Once you are there, vote for the best quotes if you’d like to, and share this jovial compendium with your compadres.

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#1

Creed Bratton talking and pressing hand “I’ve been involved in a number of cults, both a leader and a follower. You have more fun as a follower, but you make more money as a leader.” — Creed Bratton

26points

#2

"You only live once? False. You live every day. You only die once." — Dwight Schrute

25points

#3

Michael Scott looking at someone “Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.” — Michael Scott

22points

#4

“Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.” — Michael Scott

21points

Jacob Nunez 2 years ago

Honestly mood

1point

#5

"That's what she said." — Michael Scott

19points

Jacob Nunez 2 years ago

But that IS what she said.

3points

#6

“Tell him to call me ASAP as possible.” — Michael Scott

18points

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#7

“Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? Creed Bratton.” — Creed Bratton

18points

Sue From Michigan 2 years ago

Lol.

1point

#8

Dwight Schrute talking while in an officers outfit "You couldn't handle my undivided attention." — Dwight Schrute

18points

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#9

Dwight Schrute talking on the phone "Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' and if they would, I do not do that thing." — Dwight Schrute

17points

#10

"I wish there was a way to know you're in the good old days before you've actually left them." — Andy Bernard

17points

Sarah K 2 years ago

I think about this one a lot

4points

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#11

“My roommate wants to meet everybody. Because I’m pretty sure he thinks I’m making Dwight up. He is very real.” — Jim Halpert

16points

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#12

Creed Bratton looking up while talking “Creed Bratton has never declared bankruptcy. When Creed Bratton gets in trouble, he transfers his debt to William Charles Scheider.” — Creed Bratton

16points

#13

“Boy, have you done lost your mind? Cause I’ll help you find it!” — Stanley Hudson

16points

#14

"Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica." — Jim Halpert

16points

#15

"Sorry I annoyed you with my friendship." — Andy Bernard

16points

#16

Michael Scott talking while on computer “I’m an early bird and I’m a night owl so I’m wise and I have worms.” — Michael Scott

16points

#17

“Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked, but it’s not like this compulsive need to be liked, like my need to be praised.” — Michael Scott

15points

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#18

Creed Bratton talking “Oh, you’re paying way too much for worms. Who’s your worm guy?” — Creed Bratton

15points

#19

“Me think, why waste time say lot word, when few word do trick.” — Kevin Malone

14points

#20

Michael Scott talking “I say dance, they say, ‘How high?'” — Michael Scott

14points

#21

“I love inside jokes. I’d love to be a part of one someday.” — Michael Scott

14points

Lisa H 2 years ago

This one legit makes me a little sad.

2points

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#22

“In the parking lot today, there was a circus! The copier did tricks on the high-wire. A lady tried to give away a baby that looked like a cat. There was a Dwight impersonator and a Jim impersonator. A strongman crushed a turtle; I laughed, and I cried. Not bad for a day in the life of a dog food company.” — Creed Bratton

14points

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#23

Michael Scott looking grumpy “Should have burned this place down when I had the chance.” — Michael Scott

14points

#24

“No, I’m not going to tell them about the downsizing. If a patient has cancer, you don’t tell them.” — Michael Scott

13points

#25

“If I don’t have some cake soon, I might die.” — Stanley Hudson

13points

#26

Michael Scott talking “I guess I’ve been working so hard, I forgot what it’s like to be hardly working.” — Michael Scott

13points

#27

“I am running away from my responsibilities. And it feels good.” — Michael Scott

13points

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#28

“I don’t hate it. I just don’t like it at all and it’s terrible.” — Michael Scott

13points

#29

“Last year, Creed asked me how to set up a blog. Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Creed’s brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top. I’ve read some of it. Even for the internet, it’s… Pretty shocking.” — Ryan Howard

13points

that_curly_girl 🇺🇦 2 years ago

yes.

2points

#30

“I’m fast. To give you a reference point. I’m somewhere between a snake and a mongoose. And a panther.” — Dwight Schrute

13points

#31

Phyllis Lapin-Vance talking “I’m glad Michael’s getting help. He has a lot of issues, and he’s stupid.” — Phyllis Lapin-Vance

12points

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#32

“A few years ago, my family was on a safari in Africa and my cousin, Mufasa, was um, he was trampled to death by a pack of wildebeests and um, we all took it really hard.” — Ryan Howard

12points

#33

“The worst thing about prison was the dementors.” — Michael Scot

12points

tara 2 years ago

You can eat your hair if you are hungry though!

0points

#34

“Life is short. Drive fast and leave a sexy corpse. That’s one of my mottos.” — Stanley Hudson

12points

#35

“I just want to lie on the beach and eat hot dogs. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.” — Kevin Malone

12points

Jacob Nunez 2 years ago

That is mood

0points

#36

Michael Scott happy sitting on the desk “And I knew exactly what to do. But in a much more real sense, I had no idea what to do.” — Michael Scott

12points

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#37

“There are always a million reasons not to do something.” — Jan Levinson

12points

#38

"Mini cupcakes? As in the mini version of regular cupcakes? Which is already a mini version of cake? Honestly, where does it end with you people?" — Kevin Malone

12points

#39

"It takes an advanced sense of humor. I don't expect everybody to understand." — Michael Scott

12points

Jacob Nunez 2 years ago

I am so using this on my sister

0points

#40

"For my new year's resolution, I gave up drinking... During the week." — Meredith Palmer

12points

#41

Kelly Kapoor smiling and looking at someone “I talk a lot, so I’ve learned to tune myself out.” — Kelly Kapoor

11points

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#42

“So this is my life — until I win the lottery. Or Pam finally writes that series of young adult books.” — Jim Halpert

11points

#43

Michael Scott shouting “Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don’t know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.” — Michael Scott

11points

that_curly_girl 🇺🇦 2 years ago

“actually, don’t sue me.”

2points

#44

“Identity theft is not a joke, Jim! Millions of families suffer every year.” — Dwight Schrute

11points

#45

“Oh, I don’t think it’s blackmail. Angela just does what I ask her to do, so I won’t tell everyone that she’s cheating on Andy with Dwight. I think for it to be blackmail, it would have to be a formal letter.” — Phyllis Lapin-Vance

11points

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#46

“No, Rose, they are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs… Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs, do we bother resuscitating them? I mean, what quality of life do we have there?” – Michael Scott

11points

#47

Michael Scott looking mad with curly hair “Fool me once, strike one. Fool me twice, strike three.” — Michael Scott

11points

#48

Kevin Malone sitting at the office “The only problem is whenever I try to make a taco, I get too excited and crush it.” — Kevin Malone

11points

Sarah K 2 years ago

Oh Kevin.

1point

#49

“I am Beyonce, always.” — Michael Scott

11points

that_curly_girl 🇺🇦 2 years ago

omg this is like my fave quore

1point

#50

Creed Bratton standing with his hat on “Let’s put a smile on that face.” — Creed Bratton

11points

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#51

“You know a human can go on living for several hours after being decapitated.” — Creed Bratton

11points

#52

Robert California talking "Do I look like someone who would waste my own time?" — Robert California

11points

#53

Michael Scott with peanut butter being massaged in his hair “I’m not superstitious, but I am a little stitious.” — Michael Scott

10points

#54

“Today, smoking is going to save lives.” — Dwight Schrute

10points

#55

“I don’t want to be married in a tent like a hobo.” — Angela Martin

10points

#56

Pam Beesley dressed as Charlie Chaplin talking on phone “I’m guessing Angela is the one in the neighborhood that gives the trick-or-treaters toothbrushes, pennies, walnuts.” — Pam Beesley

10points

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#57

Dwight Schrute talking with his hands crossed “Who is Justice Beaver?” — Dwight Schrute

10points

#58

“When you’re a kid, you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that.” — Pam Beesley

10points

tara 2 years ago

I love this

0points

#59

“I miss the days when there was only one party I didn’t want to go to.” — Ryan Howard

10points

#60

Dwight Schrute dressed as deep “Jim told me you could buy gaydar online.” — Dwight Schrute

10points

#61

“I already won the lottery. I was born in the US of A, baby. And as backup, I have a Swiss passport.” — Creed Bratton

10points

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#62

“Any man who says he totally understands women is a fool. Because they are un-understandable.” — Michael Scott

10points

#63

Kevin Malone talking “I kinda know what it’s like to be in commercials. My nickname in high school used to be Kool-Aid Man.” — Kevin Malone

10points

#64

“I can’t use Phyllis! Are you kidding me? The moment she steps off this bar, I’ll be launched into space! God, you’re so insensitive.” — Dwight Schrute

10points

#65

"I understand nothing." — Michael Scott

10points

tara 2 years ago

This is truly how to sum up Michael Scott

0points

#66

"I feel like all my kids grew up, and then they married each other. It's every parent's dream." — Michael Scott

10points

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#67

Robert California looking at someone and talking "You want to start a street fight with me? Bring it on. But you're gonna be surprised by how ugly it gets. You don't even know my real name. I'm the flipping lizard king." — Robert California

10points

#68

“Everything I have I owe to this job… This stupid, wonderful, boring, amazing job.” — Jim Halpert

9points

#69

“I normally don’t enjoy making people laugh.” — Angela Martin

9points

tara 2 years ago

I hate being titillated.

0points

#70

“I got six numbers. One more and it would have been a complete phone number.” — Kevin Malone

9points

#71

“I don’t care what they say about me. I just want to eat. Which I realize is a lot to ask for… At a dinner party.” — Pam Beesley

9points

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#72

“Power points are the peacocks of the business world; all show, no meat.” — Dwight Schrute

9points

#73

“Sometimes the clothes at Gap Kids are too flashy, so I’m forced to go to the American Girl store and order clothes for large colonial dolls.” — Angela Martin

9points

#74

Stanley Hudson talking and gesticulating “I have been trying to get on jury duty every year since I was 18 years old. To get to go sit it in an air-conditioned room, downtown, judging people, while my lunch is paid for… That is the life.” — Stanley Hudson

9points

#75

Kelly Kapoor talking with her hands crossed “Who says exactly what they’re thinking? What kind of a game is that?” — Kelly Kapoor

9points

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#76

“We have a gym at home. It’s called the bedroom.” — Phyllis Lapin-Vance

9points

#77

“You guys I’m, like, really smart now. You don’t even know. You could ask me, ‘Kelly, what’s the biggest company in the world?’ And I’d be like, ‘blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah.’ Giving you the exact right answer.” — Kelly Kapoor

9points

#78

“Sometimes I get so bored I just want to scream, and then sometimes I actually do scream. I just sort of feel out what the situation calls for.” — Kelly Kapoor

9points

#79

“I wanted to eat a pig in a blanket, in a blanket.” — Kevin Malone

9points

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#80

Pam Beesley talking into microphone “I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate thinking that Al Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me, they wouldn’t hate me.” — Pam Beesley

9points

#81

“I want to be wined and dined and sixty-nined.” — Kevin Malone

9points

#82

“There’s a lot of beauty in ordinary things. Isn’t that kind of the point?” — Pam Beesly

9points

#83

Dwight Schrute talking “It’s a real shame because studies have shown that more information gets passed through water cooler gossip than through official memos. Which puts me at a disadvantage because I bring my own water to work.” — Dwight Schrute

9points

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#84

“We didn’t play many video games in Scranton. Instead, we’d do stuff like… Uh, Pam and I would sometimes hum the same high-pitched note and try to get Dwight to make an appointment with an ear doctor. And, uh, Pam called it… Pretendinitis.” — Jim Halpert

9points

#85

“I’m always thinking one step ahead, like a carpenter that makes stairs.” — Andy Bernard

9points

#86

Jim Halpert talking “One day Michael came in and complained about a speed bump on the highway. I wonder who he ran over then.” — Jim Halpert

9points

#87

"I am one of the few people who looks hot eating a cupcake." — Kelly Kapoor

9points

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#88

Dwight Schrute talking "Bread is the paper of the food industry. You write your sandwich on it." — Dwight Schrute

9points

#89

"From time to time I send Dwight faxes. From himself. From the future." — Jim Halpert

9points

#90

“The Dunder Mifflin stock symbol is D.M.I. Do you know what that stands for? Dummies, Morons, and Idiots. Because that’s what you’d have to be to own it. And as one of those idiots, I believe the board owes me answers.” — Oscar Martinez

8points

#91

Stanley Hudson reading newspaper “It’s true. Around this office, in the past, I have been a little abrupt with people. But the doctor said, if I can’t find a new way to relate more positively to my surroundings, I’m going to die.” — Stanley Hudson

8points

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#92

“I wanna do a cartwheel. But real casual-like. Not enough to make a big deal out of it, but I know everyone saw it. One stunning, gorgeous cartwheel.” — Creed Bratton

8points

#93

“Look, it doesn’t take a genius to know that every organization thrives when it has two leaders. Go ahead, name a country that doesn’t have two presidents; a boat that sets sail without two captains. Where would Catholicism be without the popes?” — Oscar Martinez

8points

#94

Michael Scott smiling “An office is for not dying. An office is a place to live life to the fullest, to the max, to… An office is a place where dreams come true.” — Michael Scott

8points

#95

“I don’t talk trash, I talk smack. They’re totally different. Trash talk is hypothetical, like: Your mom is so fat she can eat the internet. But smack talk is happening like right now. Like: You’re ugly and I know it for a fact ’cause I got the evidence right there.” — Kelly Kapoor

8points

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#96

“I once reported Oscar to the INS. Turns out he’s clean, but I’m glad I did it.” — Angela Martin

8points

#97

“If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls so you couldn’t hear the other dead people.” — Dwight Schrute

8points

#98

Angela Martin talking while in the shopping mall “I find the mystery genre disgusting. I hate being titillated.” — Angela Martin

8points

#99

“I do not like pregnant women in my workspace. They’re always complaining. I have varicose veins, too. I have swollen ankles. I’m constantly hungry. Do you think my nipples don’t get sore too? Do you think I don’t need to know the fastest way to the hospital?” — Standley Hudson

8points

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#100

140 The Office Quotes Every Fan Should Know By Heart “I have decided that I’m going to be more honest. I’m gonna start telling people what I want, directly. So, look out world, ‘cuz ‘ol Pammy is gettin’ what she wants. And, don’t call me Pammy.” — Pam Beesley

8points

#101

“It’s like I used to tell my wife. I do not apologize unless I think I’m wrong, and if you don’t like it, you can leave. And I say the same thing to my current wife, and I’ll say it to my next one, too.” — Stanley Hudson

8points

#102

“Right now, this is just a job. If I advance any higher in this company, this would be my career. And, uh, if this were my career, I’d have to throw myself in front of a train.” — Jim Halpert

8points

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#103

“I’m not offended by homosexuality. In the ’60s I made love to many, many women, often outdoors, in the mud and the rain… And it’s possible a man slipped in. (Shrugs) There’d be no way of knowing.” — Creed Bratton

8points

#104

"I love catching people in the act. That's why I always whip open doors." — Dwight Schrute

8points

#105

Andy Bernard looking mad "Andy Bernard does not lose contests. He wins them. Or he quits them. Because they're unfair." — Andy Bernard

8points

#106

“I run a small fake ID company from my car with a laminating machine that I swiped from the Sheriff’s station.” — Creed Bratton

7points

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#107

“You know what they say about a car wreck, where it’s so awful you can’t look away? The Dundies are like a car wreck that you want to look away from, but you have to stare at it because your boss is making you.” — Pam Beesley

7points

#108

Phyllis Lapin-Vance talking to someone “I wonder what people like about me. Probably my jugs.” — Phyllis Lapin-Vance

7points

#109

“How is it possible that in five years, I’ve had two engagements and only one chair?” — Pam Beesley

7points

#110

“The people here are amazing debaters. I guess you can say they are master-baters.” — Kevin Malone

7points

#111

“Stanley just drank OJ out of my mug and didn’t seem to realize that it wasn’t his hot coffee. So, the question has to be asked, is there no limit to what he won’t notice?” — Jim Halpert

7points

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#112

“I wake up every morning in a bed that’s too small, drive my daughter to a school that’s too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little. But on pretzel day? Well, I like pretzel day.” — Stanley Hudson

7points

#113

Meredith talking “Tell ya one thing, I’m not gonna be a good mom tonight.” — Meredith

7points

#114

Creed Bratton reading a presentation to colleagues “When Pam gets Michael’s old chair, I get Pam’s old chair. Then I’ll have two chairs. Only one to go.” — Creed Bratton

7points

#115

“So you’ve come to the master for guidance? Is this what you’re saying, grasshopper?” — Michael Scott

7points

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#116

“I think it’s great that the company’s making a commercial, because not very many people have heard of us. I mean, when I tell people I work at Dunder Mifflin, they think that we sell mufflers or muffins or mittens or… And frankly, all of those sound better than paper, so I let it slide.” — Jim Halpert

7points

#117

Michael Scott talking and holding flyer “Ain’t no party like a Scranton party cause a Scranton party don’t stop!” — Michael Scott

7points

#118

“Mind if I steal my wife?” — Bob Vance

7points

#119

Andy Bernard getting out of the car with sunglasses on "Oh, it is on, like a prawn who yawns at dawn." — Andy Bernard

7points

#120

"There's something about an underdog that really inspires the unexceptional." — Robert California

7points

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#121

“I never thought I’d say this, but I think I ate too much bone marrow.” — Dwight Schrute

6points

#122

Angela Martin talking “The man is wearing sandals. I don’t need to see Oscar’s toes at work. Gross! I mean, he looks like he just got off the boat.” — Angela Martin

6points

#123

“Well, this is what happened. Uh, Ryan’s big project was the website, which wasn’t doing so well. So Ryan, to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice. Once as offices and once in the website sales, which is what we refer to in the business as misleading the shareholders. Another good term is fraud. The real crime, I think, was the beard.” — Oscar Martinez

6points

#124

“I am proud to announce that there is a new addition to the Martin family. She’s hypoallergenic. She doesn’t struggle when you try to dress her. She’s a third-generation show cat. Her father was in Meet the Parents. Needless to say, she was very, very expensive.” — Angela Martin

6points

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#125

Kelly Kapoor talking “Look, I know the reason that you guys became accountants is because you’re not good at interacting with people. But guess what! From now on you guys are no longer losers! So give yourselves a round of applause.” — Kelly Kapoor

6points

#126

“It is not a good time for me to lose my job since I have some pretty big long-term plans in my personal life with Pam that I’d like her parents to be psyched about. So, I am about to do something very bold in this job that I’ve never done before: try.” — Jim Halpert

6points

#127

Ryan Howard talking “Yeah, I’m not a temp anymore. I got Jim’s old job. Which means at my 10-year high school reunion, it will not say ‘Ryan Howard is a temp.’ It will say, ‘Ryan Howard is a junior sales associate at a mid-range paper supply firm.’ That’ll show ’em.” — Ryan Howard

6points

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#128

“Yes, I have a dream, and it’s not some MLK dream for equality. I want to own a decommissioned lighthouse. And I want to live at the top. And nobody knows I live there. And there’s a button that I can press and launch that lighthouse into space.” — Stanley Hudson

6points

#129

“If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know that I’d ever been here. And I’d forget, too.” — Ryan Howard

6points

#130

Jim Halpert talking while holding his picture “I am a black belt in gift wrapping.” — Jim Halpert

6points

#131

“I want you to rub butter on my foot… Pam, please? I have Country Crock.” — Michael Scott

6points

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#132

Stanley Hudson laughing “News flash: You are not special.” — Stanley Hudson

6points

#133

“If I can’t scuba, then what’s this all been about? What am I working toward?” — Creed Bratton

6points

#134

“As a person who buys a lot of erotic cakes, it’s nice to be represented on one.” — Phyllis Lapin-Vance

6points

#135

140 The Office Quotes Every Fan Should Know By Heart “I would say I kind of have an unfair advantage, because I watch reality dating shows like a hawk, and I learn. I absorb information from the strategies of the winners and the losers. Actually, I probably learn more from the losers.” — Michael Scott

6points

#136

“Michael is leaving. And apparently, they’ve already hired a new manager. And we’re meeting him today. It’s a lot to process — paperwork-wise.” — Oscar Martinez

6points

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#137

“Close your mouth, sweetie. You look like a trout.” — Phyllis Lapin-Vance

6points

#138

Meredith talking while she is angry “Who’s the one who didn’t bring lice into the office? Meredith. Sure, I gave everybody pink eye once, and my ex keyed a few of their cars, and yeah, I BMed in the shredder on New Years. But I didn’t bring the lice in. That was all Pam.” — Meredith

6points

#139

“You’re the people’s princess! Diana was nothing!” — Meredith

6points

#140

“Hey everybody, he’s not in the men’s room. Although the seat was warm, so we may have just missed him.” — Meredith

6points

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Linas Simonaitis

Linas is a SEO List Curator at Bored Panda with a bachelor's degree in Communication & Digital Marketing. Before, he did a quick internship at AMII and worked as a Wolt courier (in other words, before Bored Panda, he never had a real job). After an intense day of Googling and scrolling, he likes to lose himself in League of Legends or make a couple pretzels while practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Never shies away from a deep conversation, never runs out of jokes. Also an owner of 0.0028 Bitcoin.

Linas is a SEO List Curator at Bored Panda with a bachelor's degree in Communication & Digital Marketing. Before, he did a quick internship at AMII and worked as a Wolt courier (in other words, before Bored Panda, he never had a real job). After an intense day of Googling and scrolling, he likes to lose himself in League of Legends or make a couple pretzels while practicing Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. Never shies away from a deep conversation, never runs out of jokes. Also an owner of 0.0028 Bitcoin.

Justė Kairytė - Barkauskienė

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

Justė is a copywriter here at Bored Panda, and though her studies at the Veterinary Academy seemingly have nothing to do with writing, the passion for animals and nature helps in creating the most interesting and engaging posts. She also works with Search Engine Optimization, so you could find Bored Panda's articles easier. Justė's not only an avid equestrian, but she's also a walking encyclopedia. Ask her anything!

What do you think ?

tara 2 years ago

The office is the greatest show of all time!!!

1point

tara 2 years ago

The office is the greatest show of all time!!!

1point

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