Better then setting a real house on fire I guess.🤷‍♂️

Nah, tbh I’d rather keep the 100k.

Utter genius. She should be running a country

Adopt-a-Dad?

He seems very happy about his promotion!

And do the dishes.

What’s so bad with an iPhone 6? A newer model would be nice, but its not the worse thing in the world.

It's about time she cleans up her half of the closet

Yes! I want to meet that b*tch Natalie you've been telling me about.

For real!!!!!!

I had to bring my kid to one off my first classes. He took my syllabus and drew a picture of my instructor. That teacher still uses that copy of the syllabus in his class. He shows off my kid's picture and give extra credit to anyone who draws another picture of him.

Huh?.... oh, yes, that's me sometimes

They're Grrrrrr--- o my God!

I went to an “academically selective high school” and was bottom of that particular tier AS WELL as being weird AF. I see my ex-classmates on the news giving expert opinion on international economic policies while I am, for the most part, a housewife. I’d kinda like to be invited to the odd Tupperware party now and then 😆

"Let me impress you with my mad skills of disrespecting not only the safety of others but us as well. Look how great I am risking our lives! My self preservation is garbage, be amazed!"

Yes yes yes! I cannot buy things online on my phone, which I am completely competent at using, I instead must use my laptop because, well um, you know, the ahh bigger screen means I won’t muck it up, I’ll see things better, it’ll be a more legitimate purchase

I mean, your right…

Ha!🤣

Sure beats the 72-hour workweek one.

Nemo!

Besides being 2 am, I also live in a big kinda dangerous city, I know why I'm driving recklessly.. but why you??

Men: “You’re awfully quiet this evening.” Me: “Yeah, I am. So what?”

Did the scientist deliver? Asking for a friend

Can he please train every single repair shop in the country?

I used to work for a place that required "All hands on deck" for special events. Even if it was your day off. Yeah I was going to work a six day week for that BS. No sarcasm I actually did it. I'd never do it again and I'll never let an employer talk me into that again. I'm calling in sick and if you fire me, you better be ready to hire someone else.

$5.75 an hour? When did this happen? 1991?

He's not wrong...

This should be rated 18. He is stroking the pussy.

I don’t get it 🤔

🐻

And now I have to return. What a chore!

No! Save boxes, all the boxes!

until the contact you about their MLM

Feom memory the German BP Contigent has said otherwise in the past.

A good reason to book a hotel/motel room. Plus you can get often get a basic breakfast as part of the deal (unlike Air BednBreakfast ... lol)

WHERE.IS.MY SUPER.SUIT!

Because you keep eating avocado toast. 🤷‍♂️

You can give it a shot at 28 but you are really going to have to make that budget stretch

Childfree and loving it. Excuse me while I eat some chicken nuggets and not have to share.

Schrödinger's Cabinet.

Extra crispy personality!!

Still better than the driver's license picture

That's funny and exactly what this reminds me of. :-)

Hank Green is a treasure

Don't forget to go to the bathroom before you sit down!

2 day work week, 5 day weekends!

I'm leaving skid marks on ball #2 and falling on my head in the water

He’s too dangerous to be kept alive!

The Kutchers were outside and the rest probably go the the servants wing...