It is well known that becoming a parent doesn’t come without obstacles. Especially for single gay men.

A hypnotherapist, Shaun Resnik, from the state of Victoria, Australia, has always dreamed of becoming a father. Shaun came out as gay when he was 24 years old, and in his thirties, he began to look for the ideal partner to start a family. However, bringing up parenthood on the first date did scare his potential partners away.

At the age of 40, Shaun decided to become a single father and started his journey of looking for surrogates. Luckily, Shaun achieved his dream of having a family and now, he not only has the cutest baby boy named Eli, but also a loving partner named Sean, as well as two dogs.

More info: Instagram

Meet Shaun Resnik, a 44-year-old gay man from Australia who has always dreamed of becoming a father

Image credits: shaunresnik

It took over a decade of planning for Shaun to make history as the first single Victorian man who was granted permission to become a parent via surrogacy

Image credits: shaunresnik

Bored Panda reached out to Shaun to learn more about his story.

“I was just going through my phone tonight and I came across messages from 11 years ago, where I was asking other gay dads how they had managed to become dads through surrogacy.
I can’t believe that the whole process of starting to research to become a dad was over a decade long. I always knew that I would become a father, but I don’t think I realized just how hard and complicated doing surrogacy would be. There were lots of hurdles and I never gave up, although I definitely felt disheartened and almost defeated at points. Now when I hold my gorgeous 19-month-old son in my arms, I am so grateful that I persevered,” shared Shaun.

Image credits: shaunresnik

Image credits: shaunresnik

Image credits: shaunresnik

The surrogacy journey for Shaun was long and difficult. There were three potential surrogates that came along but for various personal reasons couldn’t proceed

Image credits: shaunresnik

Image credits: shaunresnik

Image credits: shaunresnik

Luckily, Shaun didn’t give up as he succeeded in finding a surrogate named Carla, who over the process became a close friend, and an egg donor from his already friend, Bree

Image credits: shaunresnik

It takes a special person to carry someone else’s child. Therefore, we asked Shaun to tell us more about the surrogate and how he found her. “I met Carla, my surrogate, when I began going to surrogacy catch-ups in Melbourne. I originally joined an online FB group where people who want to become parents get in touch with potential surrogates. In Australia, it is completely altruistic, which means that the surrogate and egg donor do not get paid to have your child. You pay for all pregnancy-related costs and medical appointments and help your pregnant surrogate by doing their grocery shopping when they are too tired to do it, or babysitting their kids if they need a night out and forming a relationship with their family. It’s a really nice way to have a baby because you create a friendship first and the surrogate learns to like and trust you before helping you to become a parent.

At the time I was single and I had no idea I was the first single Victorian male in Australia to have a baby via local surrogacy. It meant that my case was a landmark case and it ended up inspiring a lot of other single men and women to go on the journey to become parents.

I have since found a loving partner and we are raising our son together- it has worked out really well,” wrote Shaun.

Shaun’s efforts finally paid off when in October 2021, they found out that Carla was pregnant

Image credits: shaunresnik

For Shaun, learning the news that he was going to be a dad was a dream come true. Shaun shared more about his experience: “The day I found out that Carla was pregnant and that I was finally going to be a father was one of the best moments of my life. When Carla and I both looked at the positive pregnancy test, we both jumped up and down and hugged each other. I cried. It was surreal, the best day of my life. When Eli was born, I was lucky enough to “catch him” in the delivery room and when I cut the umbilical cord, it was one of the most profound moments, knowing that my child was finally here and I was now a father.”

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Image credits: shaunresnik

Image credits: shaunresnik

When the baby boy was born, Shaun named him Eli, in honor of his own dad

Image credits: shaunresnik

Many people tend to turn to adoption centers to expand their families with children. Shaun explained why he stayed on the surrogacy route instead: “In Australia, adoption is really difficult. Strangely enough, there are not many children available for adoption and the process can take up to 7 years to match with a child. Also, as a single gay man, I would have been at the bottom of the list and it would have been almost impossible to adopt in Australia. For these reasons, I did not consider adoption as a viable option. Also, I genuinely wanted to have a genetic child of my own. My parents are always commenting that my son reminds them of me when I was his age, we both have huge appetites for food and like me, he loves being out of the house and in nature.”

Image credits: shaunresnik

Image credits: shaunresnik

Even though Shaun started the surrogacy process while single, along the way came his now-partner Sean, and they raise Eli together

Image credits: shaunresnik

Now that Shaun not only has a baby boy but also a partner, Sean, we asked if the couple is thinking of more children.

“I always dreamed of having a big family and my son is in contact with both his egg donor and surrogate families. We are all close and we chat weekly and see each other often. I always say he is lucky, he has two dads, a birth mum, and an egg donor mum- so he has lots of parents and he knows his half brothers and sister. He is a very lucky kid and is part of a loving extended family.
My partner Sean and I are planning on having more children and Carla is going to carry our next child – we are so excited!”

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Image credits: shaunresnik

Image credits: shaunresnik

Now the couple are facing the joys of fatherhood and are planning on expanding their family once again

Image credits: shaunresnik

Image credits: shaunresnik

Image credits: shaunresnik

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