We all are different, there's nothing new about that. However, we try to make connections with those similar to us. Whether it be hobbies, values, or general perception of life, we tend to stick with those that have matching approaches.

On the other hand, we often meet people whose behavior clashes with ours. Thinking about that, I asked our pandas to share their biggest deal-breakers. Scroll down for the answers!

#1

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Religion. Fine for you. Don't try to sell or convert me. I'm an adult, educated, older. A lot of people use it to separate, to misinform, excuse or convert. No thanks.

Noah Holm Report

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NugsLunaMochi
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Religion and politics are two topics I don’t want to ever discuss with other people. Bc more often than not, those that don’t agree with you on either topics will either try to change your mind and join them or get nasty and rude just bc you don’t agree with them.

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#2

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Selfishness, rudeness and not liking animals. That's my top 3.

Note: You are off the hook if you don't like animals because of an allergy or a bad experience. The first two are non-negotiable.

Toa Heftiba Report

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Donkey boi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm selfish and rude, but I love animals. I've been working on the selfish thing for years and don't generally act on it. But my rudeness is still used on people that are rude to me first, it pretty swift and cutting and used in a way to make them reflect on their own rudeness.

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#3

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Deal breaker - they don't like my dog.
Bigger deal breaker - my dog doesn't like them.

Justin Veenema Report

#4

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community People who are incapable of admitting they are wrong no matter how large or small.

Andrej Lišakov Report

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Freya the Wanderer
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of dingbats come to mind: flat earthers, anti-vaxxers, COVID deniers, tRump chumps--

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#5

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community The inability to discuss or maturely debate. Most things people argue about and get angry over are subjective. You should be able to express your views and opinions without being shut down or criticized in a harsh, hateful manner.
To add on to that, people should just plain listen to one another, given the "speaker" is being respectful.

charlesdeluvio Report

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chaotic legal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes! Thank you. sometimes I really need to get the what ifs or confusions out and it comes across as arguing. sigh. Sometimes I do get out of hand though in trying to make my point

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#6

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community 1. Animal abuser
2. Not caring about other people's interests or life
3. They are racist, sexist, or ableist. Pretty much any kind of "ist".
4. Homophobes and transphobes also are no deal.

These types of people will never be my friends.

Mitchel Lensink Report

#7

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community People who are unable to apologize or use the term "I apologize and am sorry".

Steve DiMatteo Report

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KY dog mom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The worst is when someone says, "I'm sorry if you feel....." If you said or did something wrong, apologize for your own actions. Don't apologize for how I feel.

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#8

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Lying, especially incompetent bald-faced lying that would insult any person’s intelligence. My childhood was so full of self-righteous liars that it is a real trigger point for me.

Jametlene Reskp Report

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chaotic legal
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

aweome we'd be great cause I never lie (I can't find that pinnocio emoji . . .)

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#9

Not vaccinating.

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Monday
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Amen. Unless you have a compromised immune system. That I can understand.

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#10

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community People who use excuses to justify their bad behavior. "But I'm like this because of XYZ, you understand, right?" No, no we don't.

Hello I'm Nik Report

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Amy Taylor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

THISSSS!!! I can't tell you how many times I hear people blame their shitty adult behavior on their childhoods. Mine was no picnic and I had to grow up and stop using that as an excuse to make poor decisions as an adult.

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#11

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Personally: Trump lover, lying, smoking, bad hygiene.

Things that I'd love to see changed in the US: attitudes about climate change, severe problems with education, and government subsidies to huge corporations that don't freakin' need them.

Reza Mehrad Report

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Madeleine Flowers
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We just need some little kid to go up and be like, "Oh Putin, you're so amazing, I look up to you!" Then take out a knife and slit his throat. He chokes and dies, falling down, and the little kid says, "And now I look down on you. Like I always have." At this point, I'm not even above blackmail, Putin needs to die.

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#12

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Looking down on those less fortunate than you. Just because someone is struggling (doesn’t matter in what regard, physically, mentally, financially, etc.), we shouldn’t look down upon them. It doesn’t necessarily make them an intrinsically bad person. Be kind.

petr sidorov Report

#13

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Double standards.

Alina Sofia Report

#14

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Rudeness, there is no need for it at any time, even if the other person is an a**, always be kind. Kindness winds them up even more, it's great.

Andre Hunter Report

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kcanded
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Absolutely. I love remaining calm when people are turning red with frustration/rage.

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#15

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Not respecting my time.

Aron Visuals Report

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Firstname Lastname
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you are constantly late, I don't want an apology. You obviously know that you take longer, so start sooner. Making me wait around for you will only make me feel like I'm not a priority, and I don't want to waste my time with that.

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#16

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Dehumanizing anyone

Markus Spiske Report

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Small_Mushroom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fr tho my brother thought it would be ok to dehumanize me for having autism he pisses me off

Steve Fischer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some people just can't be humanized. They are evil to the core and end up running countries

Emmett O'Brian
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They're still human. They may be dangerous. They may be disgusting. But they're human. Act with caution and you absolutely don't have to agree with them, but they at least deserve the chance to make things right. They probably won't, but they deserve the chance.

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When people dehumanize others, in their minds those people actually deserve the shitty treatment they’re given. F****d up logic, I know.

Gypsy Lee
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those who dehumanize tend to not be very human themselves.

Lavendeer 201
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Especially if they just have a mildly different political opinion than someone else. I see a lot of that on this site; people being downvoted to hell and back and trash talked simply because they have a different stance on something

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#17

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Not respecting my space, both physically and with my time. I'm someone who needs a lot of time to myself, to relax and recharge my social batteries, and while I do want to spend time with you, I also need you to understand that I can't give you every free minute I have.

Greg Rakozy Report

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Kate Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I totally agree, especially if you are older. I'm 40 and so at this point, I've just gotten used to my own company and if I have someone else it's because I want to, not because I'm desperate or need them. And while I could make room for someone else and compromise with certain things, I would want my own bedroom and my own space. I like being able to have time at the end of the night to myself. I like stretching out in bed. He can go play video games in his room or do what he wants to do. I can read and do my hobbies, watch what I want on tv, etc. Sex isn't the issue- there would be plenty and we could have a nice nap together and cuddle here and there but I would just want to have space of my own to decompress at the end of the night. I don't know why people have to sleep in the same bed. Most couples I know hate it especially as they get older. They take it personally when it's just about comfort.

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#18

→Rudeness to and ignoring of service workers.
→Racism, sexism, intolerance

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#19

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Casual lawbreaking. Rifer now than ever before, if someone has no respect for a simple set of rules that civilized people are supposed to abide by, they're going to treat everything and everyone in their world (including you) with the same lack of respect.

Tingey Injury Law Firm Report

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Donkey boi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Depends on the law. Arbitrary laws that exist for no reason other than to give someone power other someone else NEED to be broken. The law here states that you cannot carry 'ANY article which has a blade OR is sharply pointed'. In other words, it is technically illegal to carry a pencil.

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#20

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community If they've ever cheated. I can't trust a person like that.

Marcos Paulo Prado Report

#21

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community A weird one - but since this is opinion - being undependable.

Ashley Jurius Report

#22

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community 1) Disrespecting or insulting a person because of their race. I have never once in my life had a single negative thought in my head because of this. I realize that we are a bit different, and I truly enjoy the experience of learning.
2) Disrespecting or insulting a lady. I consider myself a true gentleman. The term does confuse me a bit though. If a man goes too far all gentleness flies out the window. More than once I have ended up in the ER because of this. (Them as well, of course).
3) Disrespecting or insulting a person because of their sexual orientation. My Uncle Mike was gay and was far more of a true father to me than the neglectful/abusive thing that impregnated my mother. He bought me my first wristwatch, taught me how to drive a car and taught me to believe in myself and have true self-respect.
4) Disrespecting or insulting a person because of homelessness. I have done literally hundreds of hours of volunteer work for them, feeding them primarily (ex Chef) but many other ways as well. I have spoken and gotten close to many of them, and the overwhelming majority are there because they have simply fallen on hard times such as losing a job. Others unfortunately have mental issues, and others (ladies primarily) are simply trying to escape abusive relationships.
I admit that I am a bit of a rare breed. I tend to care about others more than I care about myself.

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#23

People who are too materialistic and like expensive stuff and can't even afford it, people who glorify Kardashians.

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#24

Trying to ‘cure’ someone with mental illness by putting them in situations that make it worse

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ObsidianAce_
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh you have social anxiety? Let’s force you to socialize under stress to “train” you!

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#25

People who think things like shoplifting are a joke. I get that, more than even, people wanna stick it to the Man...but jeez guys, it's the little guys that catch hell for your amusement. Knock it off.

And being rude to service workers in general.

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Vetus Vespertilio
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My bellwether for new people is how they treat the people they don’t have to be nice to.

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#26

1. Lack of compassion. 2. Corporal punishment. 3. Backpedaling/making terrible excuses. 4. Gum smacking (misophonia) 5. Terrible bias 6. Toxic masculinity/femininity 7. Litter bugs 8. Ppl who spread lies/misinformation on medicine/science.

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Freya the Wanderer
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Several years ago I heard from a man who was hiring an administrative assistant. Candidate A was better qualified than Candidate B, but Candidate A chewed gum "like a deranged cow" and loudly smacked and snapped it all through the interview. Candidate B got the job.

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#27

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Lying. Honesty is the only policy unless it's a joke, but don't forget to let everyone in on it afterward.

Taras Chernus Report

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Nicole Weymann
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lying gets vilyfied a lot, but honesty really is not always the best solution. Very often being polite/friendly is far more important than telling the truth, especially if an honest input can't change a situation anyway. On the long run/important issues honesty is the way. On Christmas when mom just spent six hours working her butt off in the kitchen for the family and asks "how do you like the roastbeef" it's NOT the time to be honest and tell her you've had better.

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#28

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Turning everything into extremes and using Ad hominem argumentations. Way too common lately, though

Eric Ward Report

#29

Smoking tobacco. It killed my father and I just can't handle it. It's still a trigger to this day.

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Kate Jones
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While I don't have emotional issues with cigarette smoking (although I would prefer not being with someone who does), I'm at a point I wouldn't want to be with someone who smokes pot all the time. Occasionally is fine but I feel like everybody smokes so much pot these days. I'm so tired of having to deal with potheads. It's literally everyone I know. Can you not go one day without being high? Can I go a week without my clothes smelling like skunk? Can we have a conversation without you being stoned? And can you not complain to me about being broke or how you can't afford rent when you spend 50 bucks a week or more on pot? It's just frustrating. You aren't cool because you collect bongs or know literally everything chemically about pot but can't hold down a job for more than a year. Because keeping a well paying job isn't worth quitting smoking to you. I'm just tired of the whole pot culture thing.

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#30

People who don't accept others for being themselves. No matter their color, gender, preference (in anything really), background, appearance, style, ANYTHING. We are all people. Why can't so many people except that?

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Ry Guy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have to disagree with you. Some people are awful and I don't accept them for that.

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#31

Not liking dogs. Or any other animal really.

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#32

Being unimaginative
Not being curious about something, as in you have no urge to investigate.
Being sure that no answer is the right answer. You just didn't find it yet.
Hypocrisy. Do you hate people that hate? You're a hypocrite. Find an actual reason to hate that is internally consistent, or even better, don't hate.
Being self serving. If this is a zero sum game for you, I'm not interested.

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#33

"People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong" And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community Not having any friends. If someone I’m seeing doesn’t have any friends and are all alone they will try to keep me from having any friends too. I’ve known my best friend for 40+ years and no one is going to keep me from seeing her. Just because they are friendless doesn’t mean I have to be too.

Noah Silliman Report

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Tigerpacingthecage
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not necessary true. I don't have a lot of friends (introvert) but it's totally fine by me if my partner (extrovert) wants to hang out with friends as long as we divide time for kids and housework equally (if you have children that is). I like to go to the gym so that's my "me-time" and he hangs out with his friends. No issue with that at all.

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#34

People that judge me from their religious perspective.

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#35

Disrespect of people & planet

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#36

People who use an aspect of themselves to justify a*****e behavior. For example, one I see commonly: "I'm an introvert. I'm always making plans to do stuff, then back out last minute! Haha" and act like it makes them oh so quirky.No, you're an a*****e with no respect for your friends and no time management skills.

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Ann Dennis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Totally agree. Besides, a real introvert doesn't make those to begin with.

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#37

liars, in work and relationships.

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#38

Slow walkers. I will leave you behind and never look back. Doubles as an easy breakup.

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Jennifer Muller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Slow walkers? That's a deal breaker? I walk slow because of a physical limitation. Does that count?

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#39

Lying, stealing, cheating, vain, arrogance, racism, sexism, ageism, homophobic types, kiss a$$es. All dealbreakers professionally & personally. I’m a dog person and can’t have cats because I have birds. I used to have chinchillas…..

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#40

- people who dont like cats (big cat person i grew up with 2 cats)
- people that think cats are how they are shown in comics and tv shows, they can be very well behaved and gentle creatures! i cant remember any time where our cats knocked something over or bit someone.
- not be mindful of my 500+ hotwheel collection (no redlines :( )
- not like tawog or regular show
- not laughing at my dark jokes :)))))))))))))))))))))

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HarriMissesScotland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I saw big cat person, thought immediately of lions, tigers, panthers....then read the rest. People dropped off their pregnant cats at my house in the country. I once had 26. My cat just attacked me as I walked out of the bathroom. No offense, but were your cats real? I have had cats for 65 years and every single one has misbehaved, and while they might love to snuggle, they attack as part of their play. And to get my attention, they invariably knock something off just to get my attention. It may not be breakable, but it gets knocked off, or toilet paper has been taken out of the cabinet and rolled into the living room. Normal cat behavior.

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#41

Jealousy. I shouldn't have to defend myself for talking to women, including people I've known since childhood, and deescalate your rage and accusations. If we're together, it's because I really like you. I'm going to trust you completely and have confidence in your choices. If you want something else, so be it. I shouldn't have to force you into being with me. I expect the same in return. In the past, it turns out she was projecting her insecurities after being unfaithful herself. Ended it and moved on.

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#42

Narcissistic Personality Disorder or Borderline Personality Disorder. Sorry, I realize it’s not their fault and I am not an ableist, but I just don’t have the emotional bandwidth to deal with either type. This is a dealbreaker for friendships too…

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Ghosts
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having suffered over a decade at the hands of a narcissist, I agree that nobody should have to endure that. It's not ableist to not have your entire life destroyed & have permanent trust & intimacy issues.

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#43

racist, people talking behind your back, childish ness, people who belittle others

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Russ Kincade
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Heyyy! Childish Ness is my rapper name! (inspired by Elliot Ness - I fight crime by day and rap at night)

#44

My dealbreakers are (in no particular order):

1) Being the type of person who refuses to be open to others' ideas/thoughts. You don't have to agree but don't shut down someone for disagreeing with you.
2) Misogyny and Misandry
3) Cheaters. There is absolutely no reason to do this. If you feel the need, then break up/divorce your partner first.
4) Abusers. Domestic, child, and animal. Physical, psychological, emotional, verbal, financial and any other ways a person can be abusive towards another.
5) People who refuse to accept responsibility for their actions. Also, people who refuse to apologize.
6) Active Drug/Alcohol abusers. If they are sober then that is ok but if they are actively consuming drugs and/or alcohol, then it's a solid nope.
7) Criminals meaning anyone who has committed a violent offense, crimes against persons and places. Basically any crime that is punishable by jail/prison especially felonies.

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#45

Not taking responsibility for their actions. I accept most things, no one is perfect but you need to take responsibility and be able to communicate about it. Also, you need to have basic emotional skills and please - no one sided sex. It's a big no no with partners who doesn't return favors or just don't care about you sexually. It speaks a lot of their feelings towards you.

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#46

You don't get a second chance to make a first impression. Anything that betrays a person's trust means that someone else's trust in you has no value to you. I feel likewise about such people. Coal and diamonds are exactly the same thing (carbon) with one crucial difference: one is rare, precious, valuable and difficult to acquire. The other is plentiful, common and fit only to be burned. Interesting how people are the same way.

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#47

individuals who can't form an opinion for themselves.
example
don't know the person but so and so said this so it must be true to.
AND LIARS

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#48

Do not make fun of someone who meditates, believes in the healing power of herbs, (not discounting modern medical science here. They can work together) or loves looking for crystals. Just to try to force me to believe you’re right about a political prisoner who died 2000 years ago. Faith and spirituality are part of what makes us who we are. Discuss if you can discuss it with others. If not let. It. Go.

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censorshipsucks
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They can't work together, and believing they work at all ("alternative" medication and "religion")... is the reason we are progressing so slowly particularly in controlling things like Covid.

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#49

Assuming I am a manchild based on interests. I've watched My Little Pony, I like anthros, and I love to write romantic stories. The moment my date finds these out and judges me, I'm outta here.

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#50

If you judge someone on what they listen/read/watch. It shouldn't affect how you treat people

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Jodi Von Seggern
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Um, I might have agreed to this 25 years ago, but not since Murdoch & OAN et al. Telling me you respect people who promote lies, hate, and sedition will definitely affect my approach and interactions with them! Have a hard time not judging those self exposed selfish, hate based "My beliefs are better than facts or science" crowd prove many humans suck out loud.

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#51

Religion and politics are two topics I don’t want to ever discuss with other people. Bc more often than not, those that don’t agree with you on either topics will either try to change your mind and join them or get nasty and rude just bc you don’t agree with them.

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Elizabeth
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I call that entitlement tyrant ego I always look at the other guys view it's not only enlightening but beneficial to hear another opinion IF we are talking just don't knock on my door to voice it

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#52

Lying. A pattern of a lying lifestyle. Broke up with 6 guys bc they lied to me & others.

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You cant stop the truth
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Six guys? You obviously keep attracting them. I suggest you go to therapy and try find out why it is that you are attracting them. Was your dad a habitual liar?

#53

Relationship wise, if she likes dogs. No. I'm a cat person through and through.

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June
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't have anything against people who like dogs, I actually like them too. But not liking cats is a no go for me as a cat person, and a huge red flag. If you don't like cats, you won't like me and I won't like you 🤷‍♀️

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