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“People Who Are Incapable Of Admitting They Are Wrong” And 30 Other Deal-Breakers, As Shared By Our Community
We all are different, there's nothing new about that. However, we try to make connections with those similar to us. Whether it be hobbies, values, or general perception of life, we tend to stick with those that have matching approaches.
On the other hand, we often meet people whose behavior clashes with ours. Thinking about that, I asked our pandas to share their biggest deal-breakers. Scroll down for the answers!
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Religion. Fine for you. Don't try to sell or convert me. I'm an adult, educated, older. A lot of people use it to separate, to misinform, excuse or convert. No thanks.
Religion and politics are two topics I don’t want to ever discuss with other people. Bc more often than not, those that don’t agree with you on either topics will either try to change your mind and join them or get nasty and rude just bc you don’t agree with them.
Selfishness, rudeness and not liking animals. That's my top 3.
Note: You are off the hook if you don't like animals because of an allergy or a bad experience. The first two are non-negotiable.
I'm selfish and rude, but I love animals. I've been working on the selfish thing for years and don't generally act on it. But my rudeness is still used on people that are rude to me first, it pretty swift and cutting and used in a way to make them reflect on their own rudeness.
Deal breaker - they don't like my dog.
Bigger deal breaker - my dog doesn't like them.
People who are incapable of admitting they are wrong no matter how large or small.
A lot of dingbats come to mind: flat earthers, anti-vaxxers, COVID deniers, tRump chumps--
The inability to discuss or maturely debate. Most things people argue about and get angry over are subjective. You should be able to express your views and opinions without being shut down or criticized in a harsh, hateful manner.
To add on to that, people should just plain listen to one another, given the "speaker" is being respectful.
Yes! Thank you. sometimes I really need to get the what ifs or confusions out and it comes across as arguing. sigh. Sometimes I do get out of hand though in trying to make my point
1. Animal abuser
2. Not caring about other people's interests or life
3. They are racist, sexist, or ableist. Pretty much any kind of "ist".
4. Homophobes and transphobes also are no deal.
These types of people will never be my friends.
People who are unable to apologize or use the term "I apologize and am sorry".
The worst is when someone says, "I'm sorry if you feel....." If you said or did something wrong, apologize for your own actions. Don't apologize for how I feel.
Lying, especially incompetent bald-faced lying that would insult any person’s intelligence. My childhood was so full of self-righteous liars that it is a real trigger point for me.
aweome we'd be great cause I never lie (I can't find that pinnocio emoji . . .)
People who use excuses to justify their bad behavior. "But I'm like this because of XYZ, you understand, right?" No, no we don't.
THISSSS!!! I can't tell you how many times I hear people blame their shitty adult behavior on their childhoods. Mine was no picnic and I had to grow up and stop using that as an excuse to make poor decisions as an adult.
Personally: Trump lover, lying, smoking, bad hygiene.
Things that I'd love to see changed in the US: attitudes about climate change, severe problems with education, and government subsidies to huge corporations that don't freakin' need them.
We just need some little kid to go up and be like, "Oh Putin, you're so amazing, I look up to you!" Then take out a knife and slit his throat. He chokes and dies, falling down, and the little kid says, "And now I look down on you. Like I always have." At this point, I'm not even above blackmail, Putin needs to die.
Madeline I find that the more likely method of his death isa coup by the silovik (strong man) faction in the Kremlin who are ex military politicians and quite sensible and could really help Russia turn into a contributing member of the world community instead of a bully
Load More Replies...Wow!. Just cause I smoke you put me in a group of evil retards?. Not cool.
What's hard for me to not do is lie if grown up in a very strict household and started to lie to get out of the basic things. I'm also really working on not lying to people.
Some of us grew up in houses where lying is necessary to feel safe. I'm sorry you seem to have gone through that. Learning to be honest in all areas of my life is very important. If I don't feel safe being honest with a particular person, then that person doesn't deserve to be part of my life. That may be difficult to do if you're not an adult yet. I hope you find the support you need.
Load More Replies...Okay, hear me out. Pleeeease don't downvote me on this. As bad as climate change is, and it IS bad, there are other much worse things that we need to focus on. Did you know about 2,195 children die a day of diarrhea alone! That is filed into open defecation. Things like that should be our main focus, trying to supply more bathrooms for other, dare I say third world counties.
I don't downvote you, but I do not think you are right. Climate change has a lot to do with people suffering in many countries. If it keeps rain away, they get no food, if their homes and fields are washed away by too much rain an flooding, they get no food. And flooding is also often the cause of so much diarrhea. These two things have been much worsened by climate change.
Load More Replies...Must be single because all eligible partners love Trump? Or that all people who hate Trump are already in relationships and therefore not available? I'm assuming it's the Trump part that you're upset about, because assuming all people smoke and have bad hygiene is even dumber than assuming that all people love trump.
Load More Replies...Looking down on those less fortunate than you. Just because someone is struggling (doesn’t matter in what regard, physically, mentally, financially, etc.), we shouldn’t look down upon them. It doesn’t necessarily make them an intrinsically bad person. Be kind.
Double standards.
Without double standards, some people would have no standards at all
Rudeness, there is no need for it at any time, even if the other person is an a**, always be kind. Kindness winds them up even more, it's great.
Not respecting my time.
If you are constantly late, I don't want an apology. You obviously know that you take longer, so start sooner. Making me wait around for you will only make me feel like I'm not a priority, and I don't want to waste my time with that.
Dehumanizing anyone
Fr tho my brother thought it would be ok to dehumanize me for having autism he pisses me off
Not respecting my space, both physically and with my time. I'm someone who needs a lot of time to myself, to relax and recharge my social batteries, and while I do want to spend time with you, I also need you to understand that I can't give you every free minute I have.
I totally agree, especially if you are older. I'm 40 and so at this point, I've just gotten used to my own company and if I have someone else it's because I want to, not because I'm desperate or need them. And while I could make room for someone else and compromise with certain things, I would want my own bedroom and my own space. I like being able to have time at the end of the night to myself. I like stretching out in bed. He can go play video games in his room or do what he wants to do. I can read and do my hobbies, watch what I want on tv, etc. Sex isn't the issue- there would be plenty and we could have a nice nap together and cuddle here and there but I would just want to have space of my own to decompress at the end of the night. I don't know why people have to sleep in the same bed. Most couples I know hate it especially as they get older. They take it personally when it's just about comfort.
Casual lawbreaking. Rifer now than ever before, if someone has no respect for a simple set of rules that civilized people are supposed to abide by, they're going to treat everything and everyone in their world (including you) with the same lack of respect.
Depends on the law. Arbitrary laws that exist for no reason other than to give someone power other someone else NEED to be broken. The law here states that you cannot carry 'ANY article which has a blade OR is sharply pointed'. In other words, it is technically illegal to carry a pencil.
If they've ever cheated. I can't trust a person like that.
Always remember, if he/she will cheat with you, he/she will cheat on you
A weird one - but since this is opinion - being undependable.
This is a big one. It's why my first longterm broke up. They were just unreliable.
1) Disrespecting or insulting a person because of their race. I have never once in my life had a single negative thought in my head because of this. I realize that we are a bit different, and I truly enjoy the experience of learning.
2) Disrespecting or insulting a lady. I consider myself a true gentleman. The term does confuse me a bit though. If a man goes too far all gentleness flies out the window. More than once I have ended up in the ER because of this. (Them as well, of course).
3) Disrespecting or insulting a person because of their sexual orientation. My Uncle Mike was gay and was far more of a true father to me than the neglectful/abusive thing that impregnated my mother. He bought me my first wristwatch, taught me how to drive a car and taught me to believe in myself and have true self-respect.
4) Disrespecting or insulting a person because of homelessness. I have done literally hundreds of hours of volunteer work for them, feeding them primarily (ex Chef) but many other ways as well. I have spoken and gotten close to many of them, and the overwhelming majority are there because they have simply fallen on hard times such as losing a job. Others unfortunately have mental issues, and others (ladies primarily) are simply trying to escape abusive relationships.
I admit that I am a bit of a rare breed. I tend to care about others more than I care about myself.
People who are too materialistic and like expensive stuff and can't even afford it, people who glorify Kardashians.
Trying to ‘cure’ someone with mental illness by putting them in situations that make it worse
Oh you have social anxiety? Let’s force you to socialize under stress to “train” you!
People who think things like shoplifting are a joke. I get that, more than even, people wanna stick it to the Man...but jeez guys, it's the little guys that catch hell for your amusement. Knock it off.
And being rude to service workers in general.
My bellwether for new people is how they treat the people they don’t have to be nice to.
1. Lack of compassion. 2. Corporal punishment. 3. Backpedaling/making terrible excuses. 4. Gum smacking (misophonia) 5. Terrible bias 6. Toxic masculinity/femininity 7. Litter bugs 8. Ppl who spread lies/misinformation on medicine/science.
Several years ago I heard from a man who was hiring an administrative assistant. Candidate A was better qualified than Candidate B, but Candidate A chewed gum "like a deranged cow" and loudly smacked and snapped it all through the interview. Candidate B got the job.
Lying. Honesty is the only policy unless it's a joke, but don't forget to let everyone in on it afterward.
Lying gets vilyfied a lot, but honesty really is not always the best solution. Very often being polite/friendly is far more important than telling the truth, especially if an honest input can't change a situation anyway. On the long run/important issues honesty is the way. On Christmas when mom just spent six hours working her butt off in the kitchen for the family and asks "how do you like the roastbeef" it's NOT the time to be honest and tell her you've had better.
Turning everything into extremes and using Ad hominem argumentations. Way too common lately, though
Smoking tobacco. It killed my father and I just can't handle it. It's still a trigger to this day.
While I don't have emotional issues with cigarette smoking (although I would prefer not being with someone who does), I'm at a point I wouldn't want to be with someone who smokes pot all the time. Occasionally is fine but I feel like everybody smokes so much pot these days. I'm so tired of having to deal with potheads. It's literally everyone I know. Can you not go one day without being high? Can I go a week without my clothes smelling like skunk? Can we have a conversation without you being stoned? And can you not complain to me about being broke or how you can't afford rent when you spend 50 bucks a week or more on pot? It's just frustrating. You aren't cool because you collect bongs or know literally everything chemically about pot but can't hold down a job for more than a year. Because keeping a well paying job isn't worth quitting smoking to you. I'm just tired of the whole pot culture thing.
People who don't accept others for being themselves. No matter their color, gender, preference (in anything really), background, appearance, style, ANYTHING. We are all people. Why can't so many people except that?
Don't suffer fools. And there's so much willful ignorance and contently misinformed around today. Pure laziness and prejudice.
I was about to ask why lazy people weren't on here .
Load More Replies...Some common threads I noticed: 1) bigotry, i.e., racism, homophobia, sexism; 2) rudeness; 3) dislike of animals; 4) dishonesty
Bigotry - unless of course it's bigotry against people with a religious belief, a right-wing political belief, a dislike of animals, personal difficulty with social interaction, etc. in which case it seems to be obligatory to hate and bully them as much as possible. If this is the new atheism then Christianity is starting to look attractive, because I see zero genuine love for other people any more unless they live up to an impossible ideal.
Load More Replies...Breaking News!!!: Antisocial behavior a deal breaker for relationships or friendships! More news as this sensational, unheard of, never before espoused breaking story unfolds!!!
Relationship wise, my red lines are someone who isn't clean and tidy, no cheating (or general dishonesty), and I can't stand drama queens or gossipers..so I draw the line at that too cause I know we'd only end up wasting time when it wouldn't work out in the long run.
Two Things I HATE: 1) No sense of humor. Comedy happens wherever I go -- funny shirts, bumper stickers, comedy advertisements - no laughter, no connection. 2) Limited vocabulary. Must have been clever in high school to cuss, but using F*** and S*** every other word does not make a conversation or show intelligence. Don’t have to be Shakespeare but you have to communicate.
Inconsistency. Don't put on a show to "win" me over and then turn into a dirtbag. Just be yourself from the beginning and the consistent part is easy!
People in the workplace who behave like they're still at high school. You're an adult, act like one.
Aside from the items that mention religion or smoking, most of these perfectly describe my soon-to-be-ex-wife 🤐
Lying - I'd rather hear the truth even if I don't like it Stealing - You steal from me and mine, just because you can? Gone, gone, gone Manners - Use them! You either have good manners or no manners Loyalty/Trust - It takes a LOT to lose mine, but once it's gone you're never getting it back. Family says I'm too nice sometimes, but when I'm done I'M DONE Don't judge someone by someone else's standards. Find out for yourself Intolerance of any kind, for any reason! Don't like my skin, gender, religion..... Keep it to yourself and I'll do the same. See you being Intolerant? Right back at you. Too many people I love have dealt with that. Mostly, use your brain, think for yourself, do research, question things, have intelligent conversation without slamming others opinions. You don't have to like them, but diversity makes things much more interesting
When it comes to relationships (not that I'm looking lol, I'm almost married but)- someone with a history of cheating. If you've already done it before, what's to stop you doing it again- you're capable of it. And smokers. Get away from me, you stink and you're slowly killing yourself and others around you.
What deal-breakers would the homophobes, liars, animal haters, sexists, racists, etc, write about?
homophobes would consider being tolerant of gay rights to be a dealbreaker. Animal haters would consider owning an animal a deal breaker. Liars generally aren't aware that they are liars. Sexists would consider women mere kitchen appliances. etc.
Load More Replies...Don't suffer fools. And there's so much willful ignorance and contently misinformed around today. Pure laziness and prejudice.
I was about to ask why lazy people weren't on here .
Load More Replies...Some common threads I noticed: 1) bigotry, i.e., racism, homophobia, sexism; 2) rudeness; 3) dislike of animals; 4) dishonesty
Bigotry - unless of course it's bigotry against people with a religious belief, a right-wing political belief, a dislike of animals, personal difficulty with social interaction, etc. in which case it seems to be obligatory to hate and bully them as much as possible. If this is the new atheism then Christianity is starting to look attractive, because I see zero genuine love for other people any more unless they live up to an impossible ideal.
Load More Replies...Breaking News!!!: Antisocial behavior a deal breaker for relationships or friendships! More news as this sensational, unheard of, never before espoused breaking story unfolds!!!
Relationship wise, my red lines are someone who isn't clean and tidy, no cheating (or general dishonesty), and I can't stand drama queens or gossipers..so I draw the line at that too cause I know we'd only end up wasting time when it wouldn't work out in the long run.
Two Things I HATE: 1) No sense of humor. Comedy happens wherever I go -- funny shirts, bumper stickers, comedy advertisements - no laughter, no connection. 2) Limited vocabulary. Must have been clever in high school to cuss, but using F*** and S*** every other word does not make a conversation or show intelligence. Don’t have to be Shakespeare but you have to communicate.
Inconsistency. Don't put on a show to "win" me over and then turn into a dirtbag. Just be yourself from the beginning and the consistent part is easy!
People in the workplace who behave like they're still at high school. You're an adult, act like one.
Aside from the items that mention religion or smoking, most of these perfectly describe my soon-to-be-ex-wife 🤐
Lying - I'd rather hear the truth even if I don't like it Stealing - You steal from me and mine, just because you can? Gone, gone, gone Manners - Use them! You either have good manners or no manners Loyalty/Trust - It takes a LOT to lose mine, but once it's gone you're never getting it back. Family says I'm too nice sometimes, but when I'm done I'M DONE Don't judge someone by someone else's standards. Find out for yourself Intolerance of any kind, for any reason! Don't like my skin, gender, religion..... Keep it to yourself and I'll do the same. See you being Intolerant? Right back at you. Too many people I love have dealt with that. Mostly, use your brain, think for yourself, do research, question things, have intelligent conversation without slamming others opinions. You don't have to like them, but diversity makes things much more interesting
When it comes to relationships (not that I'm looking lol, I'm almost married but)- someone with a history of cheating. If you've already done it before, what's to stop you doing it again- you're capable of it. And smokers. Get away from me, you stink and you're slowly killing yourself and others around you.
What deal-breakers would the homophobes, liars, animal haters, sexists, racists, etc, write about?
homophobes would consider being tolerant of gay rights to be a dealbreaker. Animal haters would consider owning an animal a deal breaker. Liars generally aren't aware that they are liars. Sexists would consider women mere kitchen appliances. etc.
Load More Replies...