Straight possibly, but possibly also VERY flexible.

Because she wants to look beautiful on both occasions? 😃

But now his upper lip is smooth? Thank god!

Well at least he didn't say it was his worst Christmas!

Aunty nowadays is banned from trips to the ocean.

What a fantastic 80 year old!

Only 1. That basically doesn't count

I feel so grossed out every time I see this quote.

... he really said that??!?

To think that this guy has the codes for nukes...

Ewww that's disgusting!!!

Chances are he's neither of those.

My reaction every time comes up: 🤢

trump is a cheeto-c**t

I am grossed out any time I see Trump, read his name, or even see anything orange. Haloween is going to be a b***h.

Plus that hyothetical Ivanka would be thrilled.

Ewwww! Bleach won't even help me erase that thought.

eewwww, gross

As a man thinketh, so is he.

Mega A-hole

Well how else are you going to save the white race? Gotta keep that gene pool tight, fenced up and vetted.

Seriously, who does not turn off email popups during a presentation deserves even worse than this.

Thanks for the tip, I will... no, no I won't

This is hysterical! I would have lost it XD

The important question is: what did dad say? Or has he been shopping for peanut butter? If so, you better move.

When I read "playing house", I expected that they would diagnose each other for rare deseases while giving misanthropist comments.

I hope their sales don't plummet. #PrayForMacy's

She may have forwarded it to your dad!

That took me a second...

She just wanted to brag, if I wore Magnums I'd probably want my wife to brag too.

That's not TMI, that's hilarious. I always buy tampons and chocolate together. Sometimes I slap them up on the counter (if it's a woman cashier) and say...."any questions?" LOL

Please no details!!!

That's just sad.

...How did she find this out?????

maybe she was hitting on you.

Eeeeew... and yet I cannot stop laughing

...or the balls were too low....

The only appropriate reply would have been "congrats!"

hahahaha... that's a good one though

Well viagra WAS originally invented as heart medication :).

guy (on top of his girfriend) no i'm not having sex right now.

that's cute

As an excuse, that's a winner!

Imagine the fun in that house if this is anything to go on.

less salty

The more important question is: in how many days didn't she have a shower?

I can imagine it for some reason

"You're so full of s**t, the toilet is jealous".

Creepy

And then the murders began...

...how marriages are founded.