There are some families that insist on utterly under-educating their sons in things like “how to clean a mess” and “how to do laundry,” leaving all that work for mothers and daughters. The result is a sort of utterly useless and oftentimes disgusting type of man. Unfortunately, when they go out into the world, they tend to expect prospective partners to just pick up the slack.

A woman asked the internet if she went too far after dumping the mess her brother made into his bed. We got in touch with the woman who made the post and she was kind enough to get back to us.

Some men never learn how to clean a single mess

Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages/Envato (not the actual photo)

So a woman who was hosting her brother decided to make a point after he left her home dirty

Image credits: Wallace Chuck/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Image credits: prathanchorruangsak/Envato (not the actual photo)

She later shared a small update

Image credits: ThrowRA-Hanshotfirst

Being unable to clean isn’t a sign of masculinity

Image credits: Tom Morel/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

Bored Panda got in touch with the woman who made the post and she was kind enough to share some more details. “My brother left and ran off with some girl he has been chatting with. You can find a second post on my page with that update. I have no idea why people connected with it, a lot of people were sharing personal stories of people they had to deal with (mostly brothers and husbands) that were equally incompetent so maybe this is just a silent epidemic. I honestly found the comments that seem totally bewildered by my tolerance to be the most helpful. When someone acts dumbstruck because of your actions it is hard not to do a real reevaluation of your mindset. I would just like to add this, women who were raised in homes like mine have to wake up because it is not right to allow others to treat us this way.”

Some families don’t teach their sons to clean, cook, or be generally useful around the house because of long-standing gender roles that assume household responsibilities are a woman’s job. If you happen to be from a family where that was not the case, ask your female friends about the worst men they’ve dated, or just look at stories like this. There are all too many guys who can’t even fathom the idea that one should clean up after themselves.

Even in modern times, many parents, sometimes unconsciously, raise boys with different expectations than girls when it comes to domestic skills. Sons are often encouraged to focus on academics, careers, or physical activities, while daughters are expected to learn how to maintain a household, even if both will eventually need those skills as adults. This creates an imbalance where boys grow up without the basic ability to take care of themselves, relying on future partners or even their own mothers well into adulthood. Some even try to “mask” this as behavior “real men” don’t do, as if taking a tiny amount of personal responsibility when you make a mess isn’t masculine.

To be clear, the brother here goes far above and beyond “normal” amounts of dirty, the mess he leaves his downright unhygienic and disgusting. Using a trashcan isn’t some special skill that needs to be trained, he is just being disrespectful, although it’s unclear if this is just because of his off-putting personality or something he saw growing up in his own family.

Unfortunately, some families think it’s ok to have useless sons

Image credits: Sandra Seitamaa/Unsplash (not the actual photo)

In many cases, this dynamic comes from cultural or generational habits. If a father was never expected to clean or cook, and the mother handled everything, the same pattern may continue with their children simply because “that’s the way it has always been.” Of course, this often means that there are men who grow up with bizarre and entitled ideas about how a relationship or even marriage will look like. Some parents believe they are doing their sons a favor by not requiring them to participate in chores, thinking it allows them more time to focus on other pursuits. What they don’t realize is that they are setting their sons up for dependence, making it difficult for them to function as self-sufficient adults.

For example, in this case, we very clearly see that this mindset is holding the son back. Even from a purely selfish mindset, he can’t even keep a partner because he is so disgusting. Not only that, his own sister has half a mind to kick him out. This all points to the simple and pretty obvious fact that being a lazy slob is not a good life strategy.

There is also the issue of laziness being rewarded. If a boy resists doing chores or claims he doesn’t know how, some parents give up and do it for him rather than insisting he learn. Over time, this reinforces the idea that avoiding household work is acceptable and that someone else will always step in to take care of things. This attitude carries into adulthood, where some men continue expecting their partners to manage the home while they contribute little to nothing in terms of domestic labor.

The result of this upbringing is not just an unfair burden placed on women but also a disadvantage for the men themselves. Learning to clean, cook, and handle basic household tasks is not just about fairness—it is about independence. A man who can take care of himself is not just a better partner, but a more capable person overall. Breaking this cycle requires parents to recognize that life skills are not gendered, and that raising self-sufficient children—regardless of gender—benefits everyone in the long run.

Readers were quick to call her the brother and his parents

One readers even shared a similar story

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