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Woman Has To Constantly Accommodate For Husband’s Pooping Schedule, Forces Him To See A Doctor
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Woman Has To Constantly Accommodate For Husband’s Pooping Schedule, Forces Him To See A Doctor

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Admitting that you have a problem, regardless of what it is about, is always a healthy way to begin dealing with it. Unfortunately, for many different reasons, it is also never really easy to do, as most of us find denial to be a more convenient option.

It doesn’t even have to be anything incredibly serious. For example, one Redditor recently shared how her husband was making at least five toilet trips a day, each lasting no less than 20 minutes. Yet, when she suggested that he go to a doctor, he got very offended. Scroll down to read the full story!

More info: Reddit

Denying that you have a problem might appear as an easy solution, but it creates a lot of inconveniences for you and those around you when left unaddressed

Image credits: Jaycee300s (not the actual photo)

A man was making long trips to the toilet at least five times a day, each lasting at least 20 minutes, which annoyed his wife

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Image credits: Keira Burton (not the actual photo)

The woman got tired of having to accommodate her husband’s restroom routine, among all the other things they had to do daily, and she confronted him about it

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Image credits: Hot_Drama_2854

The man refused to admit that he had a problem, saying that having as many and as lengthy bathroom trips as he had was entirely normal for how much he was eating

The OP began by cutting straight to the point, explaining how her husband would always visit the bathroom 2-3 times in the morning and at least 3 more times throughout the rest of the day, with each trip lasting at least 20 minutes, taking his phone every time he went.

The woman said she knew her husband was actually taking care of the business he said he was going for, but with it happening so often, she eventually lost her patience and told him that his toilet habits were affecting her life as they have a child and a lot of things that they need to take care of each day. She insisted that the man go see a doctor, calling the situation abnormal and suggesting that it might be IBS

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This really upset the man, who started defending himself by saying that it was completely normal to have to go as often for the amount of food that he was eating. However, the wife wouldn’t budge, so the drama didn’t get resolved.

The reactions from the commenters were a little mixed. Some completely supported the OP — right out saying that the husband’s habits are not normal and he’s likely trying to dodge sharing responsibilities, while others blamed the woman for her harsh approach. However, everyone seemed to agree that the situation seemed like IBS or something even more serious and that the man should really get himself checked out.

Image credits: RDNE Stock project (not the actual photo)

The struggle to ask for help when we actually need it is something that many, if not all, of us encounter at least sometimes. But why is this human trait so common?

Well, the explanation is actually not that complicated. According to Manfred F.R. Kets de Vries of Harvard Business Review, there are a few main reasons that can prevent us from doing it.

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Some people feel the constant need to be independent, putting effort into being as self-reliant as possible, which can make asking for help feel rather uncomfortable. This also connects to the fear of giving up control, which usually comes from trust issues and the general dislike of putting yourself in the hands of others.

At the same time, there are a lot of people who would gladly ask for help but end up steering away from it due to over-empathizing with others and assuming that they would be a burden to them if they accepted, all the while fearing that they might be rejected in the first place. 

And lastly, some simply fear being vulnerable, especially if they’re insecure about their issue and others’ perception of them or even feel unworthy of help, falling prey to victimhood, and instead of seeking help, pretending like everything is fine.

Image credits: MART PRODUCTION (not the actual photo)

However, when it comes to specific health issues like IBS, there is another reason why people are reluctant to seek help. As per an article on the Canadian Digestive Health Foundation website, this subject is surrounded by a stigma coming from the general lack of belief in the diagnosis, as well as the chronic nature of the condition itself and the lack of treatment options available.

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The article quotes a study done in 2014, which found that more than half of participants with IBS felt that their family, friends, and colleagues treated them differently due to their condition, as it is not unusual for them to be accused of using it as an excuse to get out of commitments and activities they don’t want to be in.

And, of course, since openly talking about bowel movements is usually kind of a taboo, there is the embarrassment factor, which leads to people with IBS keeping quiet about their diagnosis and choosing to suffer in silence instead.

To sum it up, the OP’s husband most likely falls into one of these categories, and while his wife’s words were arguably too harsh, her concern was most likely very valid and the advice was well-placed. So, in the end, it’s wise to remember that while being in denial and waiting for the problems to solve themselves might appear easier, most of the time, it only makes a matter worse and the process of fixing it a lot more tedious.

What did you think about this story? Do you think the OP was right about how she addressed the situation? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

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Most of the commenters agreed that the poster’s husband’s behavior was not normal, and he most likely had IBS or was trying to avoid his share of responsibilities

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Dominykas Zukas

Dominykas Zukas

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Hey! I’m Dominykas, and I come from Lithuania. According to my diploma, I’m a UX Designer. However, when during my studies, I (re)discovered my passion for storytelling, I’ve been doing that ever since, mostly in writing. I have written a few short stories, some songs, and a good bunch of articles, and I plan to keep expanding on all these fronts. Aside from that, I’m also a film buff, traveler, casual basketball player, video game enthusiast, and nature lover who will rarely pass up on a little hike through the forest or a simple walk around a park.

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Dominykas Zukas

Dominykas Zukas

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Hey! I’m Dominykas, and I come from Lithuania. According to my diploma, I’m a UX Designer. However, when during my studies, I (re)discovered my passion for storytelling, I’ve been doing that ever since, mostly in writing. I have written a few short stories, some songs, and a good bunch of articles, and I plan to keep expanding on all these fronts. Aside from that, I’m also a film buff, traveler, casual basketball player, video game enthusiast, and nature lover who will rarely pass up on a little hike through the forest or a simple walk around a park.

Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

Read less »

Denis Krotovas

Denis Krotovas

Author, BoredPanda staff

I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

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dayngerkat
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I poop, it's about 20 minutes. When I forget to bring my phone, 2 minutes. Tell him not to bring his phone

arthbach
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the first thing he should do is try going to the loo without a phone, tablet, or book. This will give an accurate representation of how long he actually needs to be spending there. If he is actually 'actively engaged' for 20 minutes at a time, then it is most definitely time to visit the doctor.

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Makenzie McNeal
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have UC so let me say this, He may not be pooping for 20 minutes straight it could be multiple small poops during that time. I spend some time in the bathroom because I have multiple small poops within a 20-30 minutes bathroom trip. This isn't every time of course but it is often even in my remission.

N.
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have IBS and have days like this. My stomach cramps so bad there no point getting up after the first "wave." If I take Linzess, I'll walk out the bathroom door, and turn right back around for round 2.

Load More Replies...
Marnie
Community Member
6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree with people saying the wife is in the wrong to be upset because of how it inconveniences her, and saying she should only be concerned about his well-being. He's an adult. Unless he's intellectually challenged, or has been completely cut off from other people, he has to know this is not normal. And unless he is utterly thoughtless, he also has to know that the two hours a day he's on the john means two hours his wife is going it alone. If he doesn't want to see the doctor for his own sake, that's on him. If you're doing something that only hurts yourself, have at it. But not going when he ought to know it's having a serious impact on his wife (and on his kids I would think), then that makes him an a*****e. And she's right to be upset for HER sake.

Load More Comments
dayngerkat
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I poop, it's about 20 minutes. When I forget to bring my phone, 2 minutes. Tell him not to bring his phone

arthbach
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like the first thing he should do is try going to the loo without a phone, tablet, or book. This will give an accurate representation of how long he actually needs to be spending there. If he is actually 'actively engaged' for 20 minutes at a time, then it is most definitely time to visit the doctor.

Load More Replies...
Makenzie McNeal
Community Member
6 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have UC so let me say this, He may not be pooping for 20 minutes straight it could be multiple small poops during that time. I spend some time in the bathroom because I have multiple small poops within a 20-30 minutes bathroom trip. This isn't every time of course but it is often even in my remission.

N.
Community Member
5 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have IBS and have days like this. My stomach cramps so bad there no point getting up after the first "wave." If I take Linzess, I'll walk out the bathroom door, and turn right back around for round 2.

Load More Replies...
Marnie
Community Member
6 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I disagree with people saying the wife is in the wrong to be upset because of how it inconveniences her, and saying she should only be concerned about his well-being. He's an adult. Unless he's intellectually challenged, or has been completely cut off from other people, he has to know this is not normal. And unless he is utterly thoughtless, he also has to know that the two hours a day he's on the john means two hours his wife is going it alone. If he doesn't want to see the doctor for his own sake, that's on him. If you're doing something that only hurts yourself, have at it. But not going when he ought to know it's having a serious impact on his wife (and on his kids I would think), then that makes him an a*****e. And she's right to be upset for HER sake.

Load More Comments
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