This is a three way lack of understanding, had the babysitter been introduced to the boys before her duties were undertaken? Had the parents stated their own rules on each individual child? Had the older child had a chance to discuss his abilities with the childminder. It seems the parents were happy with the childminder, childminder was making sure both children were safe as per her job. It's all a communication breakdown. No one is an AH really, just needed a bit more structure.

Funny that some think you need to move out at 18 and be be independent but at 16 you can't cook alone or be home alone for a few hours. I know 2 years is a long time but how old do you have to be before you can make pancakes alone.

From the perspective of the babysitter, she's taking sole responsibility for two children for several days and that's no small task, particularly if it's the first time she's done so for that long and she's young, as many babysitters are. The rules don't seem that strict to me but even if they were, I'd always be inclined to give the babysitter the benefit of the doubt in this situation.

I mean, think what you will about the bedtime, but screaming at a 16 year old for making pancakes is not okay. Also it is in the nature of 16 year olds to be testing their independence and he did in the most benign way possible - making his own food. I'm pretty sure there were at least a thousand better ways that the adult in this situation could have handled this. The sitter did not say 'hey listen the reason I'm doing this with the kitchen is because I could be held liable and I really want to be careful while I'm doing this'. That didn't happen, though.

It sounds like the parents didn't really discuss anything with the babysitter at all or even tell her anything about the kids. Usually when hiring a sitter, the parents will talk about each kid and explain "Oh, so-and-so is this old so they don't need to have lights out until such-n-such time." I want to say that the parents are TA if anything. I can't blame the teenager for not enjoying a stranger coming into their house and putting down a bunch of restrictions that didn't exist beforehand.

I was mad when I was 16 and my parents hired a neighbour college student to stay with us while they had a weekend away even though the only rule really was I had to tell her where I was going and when I’d be back, so I understand. But then I discovered the babysitter was an amazing cook and had fresh baking every day, so I told my parents they could hire her anytime 😂

I'd be pissed if someone tried to make me sleep at 10 or not let me home alone for a bit

These parents are the ones who need supervision in my opinion. Who leaves a stranger with their children for 3 days without talking through rules and boundaries first? By the time I was 12 I was cooking meals regularly. When I was 14 my mom went with my sister on a weekend long school camping trip for 3 days. My best friend stayed with me at home. To be fair my dad live 7 blocks away, my grandparents 8 blocks and my friends parents 12. Plus the neighbor right next door was someone I regularly babysat for. I was a responsible girl. This kid seems like a good kid but the restrictions this sitter is imposing on this 16 year old is insane and the parents should have backed their child up. To just say go with it when the sitter from hell calls to complain that the OP isn't going along with their dictatorship isn't fair to the kid! Who did they hire to sit for them? Chairman Mao?

100 years ago a 16-year-old would have been married was at least one toddler already cooking every meal farming and growing their own food and milking a cow I think a 16-year-old nowadays can stay home alone while the babysitter goes to a movie. You did not say you were mentally handicapped so I'm going to assume you're not that you're a normal 16-year-old. You can get a job You can drive a car. I graduated high school at 16, and had already babysitting for 4 years

I'm on the fence about this. I'm 16, and I've been cooking on my own for years, i don't have a bedtime, and I stay home alone a lot, sometimes even overnight (though rarely). I'm pretty self-sufficient and could probably stay home alone for a few days by myself. That being said, while the rules aren't something I'd be used to, they don't seem that extreme. I could maybe understand calling my parents and saying hey, could you talk to the babysitter about maybe letting me have a little more freedom, but I think reacting by throwing a fit and locking yourself in your room is a little extreme. Ice known 16 year olds who are basically functioning adults, and 16 year olds who are immature children, so I think I'd need more info about this to make a fair decision

I think more info is needed because a 16 and 13 year can LEGALLY stay home alone for up to two days. So did the parents not trust the older teen is he responsible. Did the parents tell her to implement those rules. Did she just heavy hand someone probably 2 years younger than her? More info is needed.

Having a sitter for a 16 yo is pretty weird, but it was most likely meant mainly for the 13 yo and the the parents figured why not for both. At 16 he is absolutely old enough to stay home alone, but I wonder if there's a reason his parents felt the need to get a sitter for both kids

My daughter always listen to me I was able to leave her in the house for a couple of hours when she was 9. Very mature listens to all my rules. But when I had to go out of town to care for my sister she stayed back with my sister in law and brother. My daughter was 16 at this time. They said my daughter went to school did her after school sports and program came home started homework. Help around the house and with dinner finish homework went to sleep and did it again. She always asked before she went into anything because those are my rules. She called them everytime she left from one place and arrive at the next, plus me too. They had to run out of town for 3 days. Again my daughter is beyond mature. They let the neighbor know to look out for them. The neighbor tells me you daughter is nothing like a normal teenager that she did not have no company over while no adults was there. My SIL called her a nerd she said girl have fun my daughter stated it's not about having fun it's about

YTA your behavior to the babysitter just proved why your parents installed one. It was three days and you couldn't live with someone's rules to keep you safe.. 3 days. Guess what, you've just shown your parents that your not mature enough to be left on your own next time. See part of being an adult is learning what battles to fight. If you want to be treated like an adult you need to behave like one and nit like a spoilt teenager. Sorry I know it's not a popular opion but as someone who's had teenagers at home that is definitely the way a parent would read this situation

There is highly a lack of communication here. One Earth with the parents leave without sitting down with the babysitter and the kids going over the rules together?

I'm torn on this one. I think it needs more information, like do the parents normally let the kid cook? Would they normally let him stay home alone while they're out for a few hours? What is his normal bedtime? And, did they communicate that with the sitter? Can't really decide whether it's the kid acting out, the sitter overstepping their authority or the parents not caring. One thing I would say though, it's common courtesy not to just leave the house without saying where you're going even for the 16 year old. If she just finds the kid gone what is she supposed to do? Call the cops, just sit and hope he comes back? That one is a good rule.

I’m wondering if the 16 year old is perhaps not including information as to why his parents would hire a babysitter for only a three day trip and be perfectly fine with the restrictions the sitter imposed…

I think it would all depend on how mature he is. From the reaction seems that is why he needed a babysitter. The rules were a little too much for his age but not unreasonable to do for three days and when the parents were phoned they asked you to follow them. So that’s really disrespectful to your parents and you cost your brother a fun time at the movies. I think you should have called your parents and asked to stay home for that and then abided by what their answer was. Instead you showed them that you do need a babysitter. So maybe she was a little much but she did what was asked and you could have stuck it out. If your parents wanted to change her rules they would have when she called them. NTA but not mature enough to be alone with another 13 year old child with no rules judging your reaction.

Reality people needs to stop trying to see things from the child side or the parents. 1 a 16 year old is not allow to be left in the house by their-selves for more than a day. It's against the law someone 18 and up have to be there. 2 I am sure the idiot 16 year old had plans to do what he wants, got mad because his parents hired a babysitter. 3 UNDERSTAND THIS ONE FROM A BABYSITTER POINT OF VIEW!!! KIDS LIKES TO TRY TO RUN OVER A BABYSITTER WHEN PARENTS ARE NOT HOME OR ANY ADULT NO DIFFERENCE THAN HAVING A SUB TEACHER AT SCHOOL! IF ANYTHING GOES WRONG THE BABYSITTER IS HELD RESPONSIBLE AND SINCE THEY ARE NOT HER KIDS ITS WORSE! PLUS SHE CAN LOSE HER FUTURE BUSINESS! KIDS NEEDS TO RESPECT THE ADULT! ITS NOT THAT HARD TO DO WHAT YOU NEED TO DO UNTIL YOUR PARENTS ARE HOME! BUT HER RULES IS PLACE FOR A REASON ITS WHAT SHES COMFORTABLE TO DEAL WITH! HOW DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT MAYBE IN THE PAST SHE LET A 16 YEAR OLD STAY HOME WHILE SHE TOOK THE YOUNGEST OUT AND THE 16 YEAR OLD DECIDED

It's a half and half. He needs to understand that a household is NOT a democracy, and that as his parents are his sole providers, is ts their way as the finality of the say. Looking at it from today's standards where he should be allowed to do whatever including telling the babysitter to p**s off is not the correct assumption. He is 16 years old. There is an incredible amount of learning going on still, and even at 16 biting the bullet and dealing with some tighter rules CONSIDERING THAT PERSON IS NOW RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR WELL-BEING, is not too much to ask. Now, in my view, the babysitter should have asked the parents about the 16 y.o. as he is on the cusp of adulthood and sounds mature enough to deal with himself, so I understand both sides. Clearly a lack of defined rules and expectations etc. from the outset before mom and dad left.

ESH. Parents should set the rules before they left. Babysitter should have recognized that a 10 pm bedtime for a sixteen year old is ridiculous if it's not on a school night, like, he was already in his room, who forces a 16 year old to get in bed? And should have asked for clarification of rules before the parents left or called them to ask. OP should have have tried a reasonable discussion, followed by contacting their parents, and if that didn't work they should have just got over it for 3 days then brought up the issue with parents after the fact, set a clear boundary like an adult would do. "I recognize I'm still a minor, and I complied with her rules to keep the peace, but in the future I am really uncomfortable with this sort of arrangement, as it felt disrespectful and demeaning, and would prefer that we establish reasonable rules beforehand, or I stay with a friend or family member instead."

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I'm on the fence. As a 16 year old mooching off of your parents you should follow your parents' rules. But the parents should have given the guardian rules, the guardian should not have made them herself. Plus 2-3 days if you had just done what you were asked it'd be fine, what would've been great is if you say in your room naked with the door unlocked. I did that growing up to teach my mother to knock before coming in. (am female) my father respected and always knocked.

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Without reading any of the comments in the article or below, I have one thing that jumps out at me from the 16 year old. He wants to be treated as an adult, but this is how he reacts to something he doesn't like? Acting like a little toddler having a temper tantrum about rules? If he wanted to be treated like an adult, he should have acted like one by having a discussion with the babysitter, explaining the problem(s) and coming up with reasonable compromises as the solutions. ONLY THEN will anyone start to look at him as a teenager with an ounce of maturity.

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Another perfect reason why everyone should carry a tazer, the kid coulda tazed the p**s outta the babysitter. Would be a way more interesting story

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YTA. It was 3 days, not 3 months. Why do you care about leaving the house if you're just going to lock yourself in your room anyway? Your little tantrum just proved your parents were right to hire the babysitter.

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YTA clearly you are immature and have issues with authority, your parents know this and that is most likely why they didnt feel comfortable leaving you home alone with your sibling.. and as for your babysitter having these rules that you feel are too strict? Those are in place to protect the babysitter... she would be the one on the hook if you got hurt or burned the house down.. 16yo is old enough, but sounds like you aren't as mature as other 16yo's.