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One of the best things that marrying couples can do is be warm and friendly hosts to their guests. After all, if you invite your family and friends to your Big Day, it clearly means you want them there. It’s then up to you to make them feel welcome so they can relax and enjoy the celebration alongside you.
Redditor u/Lingering_toot, a teenager who has mild cerebral palsy, recently opened up to the r/AITAH community about a very sensitive and tense family wedding situation. He shared how his sister, the bride, kicked him out of the wedding for “ruining” her photos by posing with his crutches. Scroll down for the full story and the advice the internet gave the young man.
Bored Panda has reached out to the author via Reddit, and we’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from him.
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It sounds like common sense that the happy couple would try to be accommodating and welcoming of their guests on their Big Day
Image credits: Lemnaouer / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
A teenager who suffers from cerebral palsy turned to the internet for advice after being kicked out of his own sister’s wedding
Image credits: Wavebreakmedia / envatoelements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Lingering_toot
If you’re not eloping, you need to consider what would make your guests feel appreciated
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk / pexels (not the actual photo)
In weddings, there’s always a delicate balance between what the couple wants and what the guests need. If you lean too heavily to either side, you risk upsetting either group of people.
On the one hand, the happy couple should feel free enough to be as authentic and true to themselves as possible. That means organizing the wedding how they want it, inviting the people they love the most, and picking out the theme, music, and food. It’s supposed to be their celebration of love, and they shouldn’t have to hide who they truly are out of fear of upsetting their guests.
On the other hand, if you’re throwing a wedding instead of just eloping, then you really do need to have the empathy to consider your guests’ needs. Put yourself in their shoes and think about what would need to happen to keep them happy. What can you do to make sure that they’re having fun all day (and night!) long? What will make them feel included, welcome, and loved?
People like being liked. Everyone wants to be valued, adored, and respected. There are dozens of small things that you can do to make everyone feel like you genuinely want them there on your Big Day. And it’s the small things that matter.
For instance, you could consider their dietary needs when putting together the menu. You could think about the logistics of everyone getting to the ceremony and reception venues. You might want to show your affection by putting together small gift bags for everyone.
But probably the most important thing that any couple can do is to give their guests a bit of their attention. If it’s a big wedding with lots of guests, even a few brief interactions are precious. A couple of kind words here, a ‘thank you’ there.
There’s no such thing as a ‘perfect’ wedding, and relationships should always be more important than aesthetics
Image credits: Juliana Navajas Robb / pexels (not the actual photo)
Another way to show your affection is to take some photos together with every guest. This is going to make them feel included (you’re physically standing together) and like they’re an important part of the day’s events (the photos will inevitably end up in your wedding album).
Refusing to take a photo with someone (your own family member no less) because their crutches don’t match the chosen color scheme of your wedding seems needlessly callous. If the price of taking some aesthetic photos is ruining your relationship with your sibling, is it really worth paying for it?
There is no such thing as “perfection” where weddings are concerned. Dozens of small things will inevitably go wrong. The vendors might be late. The decorations might be slightly off. The color scheme of the flowers you picked out might be different than you imagined. Some of your guests might make small blunders. Your significant other might lose one of the rings!
But no matter how difficult things get, those mistakes only affect us as much as we allow them to. At the end of the day, if you change your perspective, nothing is going to “ruin” your wedding.
What really matters is that you’re together with your partner, surrounded by the people you love. And if you’re able to laugh at any organizational hiccups along the way, you’re going to enjoy your wedding ceremony and reception that much more.
It’s the people, not the photos, that should be your priority. And blue crutches won’t “ruin” the pics—if anything, they’ll add a splash of uniqueness and make the photos much more memorable.
What do you think about the entire wedding drama, dear Pandas? What would you have done if you were in the author’s shoes? How would you react if your own sibling tried to get you out of the family photos or even asked you to leave? What do you think needs to happen for everyone to reconcile after all the tension? If you have a moment, let us know what you think in the comments.
Many readers were shocked by the family’s behavior. They came out in support of the teen
A few internet users could deeply relate to the story. They opened up about similar situations they’ve been in
A handful of readers had a slightly different interpretation of what happened at the wedding. Here’s their take
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What do you think ?
Marcellus II 4 months ago
"YTA" wrote TA. Imagine being so mentally deficient you decide OP is TA here!
DarkViolet 4 months ago
The ESH responses are no better. Yes, OP WAS kicked out of the wedding because of his disability. Those crutches could have been color-coordinated by the wedding planner, and the AH bridezilla would have STILL found a reason to bìtch about OP'S presence on her "special day." I would have left the venue and never spoken to her again. Each and every time she said anything to me, my response would be, "Pìss off, Tinkerbell."
Load More Replies...
arthbach 4 months ago
At my wedding, the photographer saw my grandmother was walking with two sticks. He paused the photographs for a moment, brought in two chairs. Then he asked my grandmother is she would like to continue to use her sticks, or she could sit, or stand behind the chair, using the back for balance. She gratefully accepted the seat. The photographer carefully arranged the photographs so everything looked balanced and good.
Happy Quokka 4 months ago
Hey Bored Panda, you should should seriously reconsider your approach of digging for at least one opposite opinion. In cases like this, it makes you TA.
Marcellus II 4 months ago
"YTA" wrote TA. Imagine being so mentally deficient you decide OP is TA here!
DarkViolet 4 months ago
The ESH responses are no better. Yes, OP WAS kicked out of the wedding because of his disability. Those crutches could have been color-coordinated by the wedding planner, and the AH bridezilla would have STILL found a reason to bìtch about OP'S presence on her "special day." I would have left the venue and never spoken to her again. Each and every time she said anything to me, my response would be, "Pìss off, Tinkerbell."
Load More Replies... arthbach 4 months ago
At my wedding, the photographer saw my grandmother was walking with two sticks. He paused the photographs for a moment, brought in two chairs. Then he asked my grandmother is she would like to continue to use her sticks, or she could sit, or stand behind the chair, using the back for balance. She gratefully accepted the seat. The photographer carefully arranged the photographs so everything looked balanced and good.
Happy Quokka 4 months ago
Hey Bored Panda, you should should seriously reconsider your approach of digging for at least one opposite opinion. In cases like this, it makes you TA.
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