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My son is turning 6 very soon… I’ve lost track of the number of times people have told me, “Cherish these years—they grow up so fast.” But it’s a lot. And I guess it’s true. One moment you’re changing diapers, and the next, your child is having their own children. It’s tempting to want to hold onto them tightly, hoping they’ll stay small and cute. But inevitably, at some point, parents have to let go.
One dad has been left puzzled after his 16-year-old son suddenly started being unusually affectionate with him. The topless teen cuddled up to his father on the couch without saying a word. The man says that, while he doesn’t want to complain, his wife thinks it’s “weird” and has accused him of being too touchy with their son. The dad is seeking advice…
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This dad decided to cherish the moment his 16-year-old son decided to cuddle up to him
Image credits: ImageSourceCur / envato (not the actual photo)
But his wife has him second-guessing himself after she called the interaction “weird”
Image credits: mverkhoturtseva / envato (not the actual photo)
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Research shows that giving your teen physical affection can help keep them out of trouble
Image credits: dvatri / envayto (not the actual photo)
People generally don’t bat an eyelid when a parent shows physical affection to their young child. But some question whether it’s still appropriate to hug, kiss, cuddle, or tickle an older kid. Not only is it normal, say the experts—it’s actually really good. For several reasons…
Research has shown that teenagers are much less likely to seek unhealthy physical affirmation when they have regular healthy affirmation from parents. This is especially true if it comes from their dads.
“They are less likely to get into legal trouble and less likely to get into major school trouble,” notes the Hope For Your Family site. “In short, adolescents with a strong, healthy bond (marked by healthy physical affection) have a stronger sense of self and healthier boundaries.”
What this leads to is a better self-image. And, in turn, better relationships. And that’s definitely not a bad thing.
The experts over at Teen Therapy OC tend to agree. “Your kid is developing a sense of what they perceive as ‘normal’ for their adult life based on the way things work in your home,” writes therapist Lauren Goodman on the site. She explains that physical affection is an important part of love.
It’s also an area where you can make a quick impact on how your teenager feels. “If you continue to hug them and kiss them before they leave for school, sit right next to them on the couch, or rub their shoulders from time to time, you will maintain more emotional closeness,” says Goodman.
Not all teens feel the same way, though. Some get the ick when their parents get too close. But it can depend upon who sees them getting a hug, kiss, or cuddle. One survey found that 58% of moms believe it’s acceptable for a mother to show affection to her teenage son “anytime, anywhere.”
Teenage boys said, “Not true!” 59% of the teen guys polled felt that moms should only ever show them affection at home, away from the public eye.
550 U.S. moms of sons aged 10-17 took part in the Wakefield Research survey, while the same number of American boys also gave their opinions.
“It’s called love”: many netizens reassured the dad that his son’s behavior was normal
Some disagreed and felt it was totally “weird”
Poll Question
How do you feel about teenage boys showing affection towards their fathers?
It's completely normal and healthy
It's a bit unusual but okay
I find it weird
It depends on the circumstances
What do you think ?
Mobey Drunk 3 weeks ago
Imagine if the genders were reversed. A dad holding his daughter would be concerned a sweet gesture. However, males are told to reject any comforting touch. So, it's weird that a son would do it. We don't need double standards, one standard will do just fine.
winterwidow87 3 weeks ago (edited)
The amount of people who think this is weird and has sêxual undertones is concerning. Hug your sons! (and daughters but i guess that's seen as "normal").
Susie Elle 3 weeks ago
Direct your concern to the change in behaviour, not the behaviour itself. Maybe he's upset about something and is looking for comfort. Could be something in school, who knows.
Crystalwitch60 3 weeks ago
He will tell them in his own time , for now he’s looking for reassurance! Not being pushed ie he’s thinking I need to know I can rely on my dad (strange mind he don’t go to mum but 🤷♀️) that’s what he needs right now nothing more until he’s feels safe n ready to ask for help , speaking as a mother of two kids n a step mother to three times since I was 18 lol n I’m now 60 somethings def worrying him isn’t it x blessed be
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Meyrin 3 weeks ago
Cuddle with your child ffs (regardless of gender) especially if they initiate it. If you for some strange reason You don't like it then ok your house your weirdness, but in my not so humble option cuddle whenever you get the chance. I'm seriously dreading the thought when my once would decide to stop permanently.
Mobey Drunk 3 weeks ago
Imagine if the genders were reversed. A dad holding his daughter would be concerned a sweet gesture. However, males are told to reject any comforting touch. So, it's weird that a son would do it. We don't need double standards, one standard will do just fine.
winterwidow87 3 weeks ago (edited)
The amount of people who think this is weird and has sêxual undertones is concerning. Hug your sons! (and daughters but i guess that's seen as "normal").
Susie Elle 3 weeks ago
Direct your concern to the change in behaviour, not the behaviour itself. Maybe he's upset about something and is looking for comfort. Could be something in school, who knows.
Crystalwitch60 3 weeks ago
He will tell them in his own time , for now he’s looking for reassurance! Not being pushed ie he’s thinking I need to know I can rely on my dad (strange mind he don’t go to mum but 🤷♀️) that’s what he needs right now nothing more until he’s feels safe n ready to ask for help , speaking as a mother of two kids n a step mother to three times since I was 18 lol n I’m now 60 somethings def worrying him isn’t it x blessed be
Load More Replies... Meyrin 3 weeks ago
Cuddle with your child ffs (regardless of gender) especially if they initiate it. If you for some strange reason You don't like it then ok your house your weirdness, but in my not so humble option cuddle whenever you get the chance. I'm seriously dreading the thought when my once would decide to stop permanently.
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