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129
Teen Sick Of Being Treated As “Mom And Dad’s Mistake”, Stops Babysitting Siblings’ Kids
Not all children are planned. In fact, nearly half of all pregnancies worldwide are unintended. The United Nations Population Fund has revealed that there are around 121 million unplanned pregnancies every year. Some result in births, some don’t. Some result in happy families. And others don’t.
One teen recently shared how he’s been reminded throughout his life that he was “an accident” that should not have happened. He was often excluded from family dinners and treated like a burden. As he got older, his siblings started using him as a free babysitter so the family could have fun without him.
Now that he’s 16, he’s decided “enough is enough”. But his decision to stand up for himself has not gone down well and he’s wondering if he’s in the wrong.
RELATED:
Having an unplanned child can come with its own set of challenges for the parents
Image credits: cottonbro studio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
But this teen is the one paying the price for his parents’ “oopsie” 16 years later
Image credits: micens / Envato Elements (not the actual photo)
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: primagefactory / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: SharpAddendum9864
Image credits: sunny / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Experts say being an “oops baby” can have an effect on a child’s development
Research shows that the average American woman will spend more than three-quarters of her reproductive life trying to avoid pregnancy. This is based on the fact that most women in the U.S. want to have two children. They’ll spend close to three years total pregnant, postpartum or attempting to become pregnant, and the rest making sure they don’t. But sometimes, they fail.
The Centers For Disease Control estimates that just over 40% of pregnancies in the States are unintended. And the Guttmacher Institute says the unintended pregnancy rate is significantly higher in America than in many other developed countries.
Not all women choose to follow through on unplanned pregnancies, and some of those who do face massive challenges. An unexpected baby can impact your finances, emotions, career, relationship, and life in general. But the child should never bear the burden of your choices.
Experts say children who are the result of an unplanned pregnancy can face the consequences if their parents don’t come to terms with the situation. “How a parent views their children is significant,” warned educational psychologist Patricia Britto.
“Every child or young person 25 and under needs at least one adult who thinks they are priceless and provides unconditional love. Parents’ attentiveness to their children’s emotions is essential when fostering their emotional development and well-being.”
Britto says telling children they weren’t planned can have a negative impact on the relationship with their parents all the way into adulthood. It can also affect their future relationships. “Children and young people who have been told that their birth status is unplanned can likely feel unwanted, which can be associated with attachment insecurity—anxiety and avoidance,” explained Britto.
The expert advises parents to think carefully about whether they want their child to know they were unintended. Should they choose to tell them, Britto says a nurturing approach is always best, as opposed to an abrupt comment.
Having an unplanned baby doesn’t always have to result in doom. Another expert, Jennie Lannette Bedsworth, believes how parents move forward after the pregnancy is what matters most.
The clinical social worker and behavioral therapist advises parents to work through their emotions, be they disappointment, sadness, anger. Once they’ve accepted the situation, they’ll have an easier time connecting emotionally with their child.
“With a solid network behind them, families dealing with an unplanned pregnancy can absolutely emerge happy and healthy,” said Bedsworth. “It’s not how a child begins that defines their future, but rather the care and nurturing they receive along the way.”
“Every child is a gift”: netizens were saddened by the situation and showered the teen with support
“The world isn’t always sunshine and rainbows”: not everyone was sympathetic
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What do you think ?
Thanos'Fingers 11 months ago
What makes you think that one liner came from a bot? Sunshine and rainbows is exactly the type of thing a dumb Redditor would say
Load More Replies...
Anne Roberts 11 months ago
I agree with the comment that his parents should have put him up for adoption as a baby. So many loving couples would be over the moon to adopt a baby to love. OP, you deserve so much better in life. I hope that happens and I wish you all the best!
Tonyah Mcanelly 11 months ago
I feel so bad for this kid. i wish i could take him in and show him what family is. My daughter in law has a similar relationship with her bio parents. Im glad she found my son he treats her well. he shows her what love is. The first time i met her we had a huge family boating trip we do annually and my son brought her out to California to join us for a 3 day excursion on the delta. When she got home she told my son she never felt a family experience like this one. We were all welcoming and there was no family drama. My son even asked me to pick up a case of beer so I did. she was suprised that I didnt ask for money for them to pay me back. THIS is family
Mark Childers 11 months ago
Even if the kid's perspective was skewed due to age and power dynamic, knowing he wasn't exactly wanted and didn't get the emotional and physical affection and support like little kids would growing up had to deeply scar him with lingering trauma and inability to relate and process feelings and relationships. Poor kid. No one deserves that.
tori Ohno 11 months ago
This is why I believe in Safe Sanctuary. A woman can leave her infant at certain places, hospital, firehouse, police station, etc, with absolutely NO legal repercussions. The child is deemed an orphan, and adopted out. We need more states to vote this into law. Especially since they're trying to take our reproductive rights away from us. Just let a woman walk away from the unwanted baby so it won't be abused like this one was.
Alexandra 11 months ago
Apparently the simplest things in life are the hardest for some people to understand. Your child, your responsibility. No one else's. Not your other kid's, not your sister, brother, mother, father, grandma, grandfather, neighbour, college roommate or anyone else: your responsibility, only yours and yours only.
Jude Laskowski 11 months ago
My friend was a surprise baby; his siblings were 12 and 14 years older. Luckily, everyone was thrilled when he came along. When his mom was widowed, she decided to move to a senior complex, and my friend drove one hour each way to have lunch with her every Sunday. Some of us "adopted" his mom, as our parents were all deceased. We celebrated her on Mother's Day, and swamped her with flowers. His siblings lived in another state and his brother was in the military, so they couldn't visit as often, but they contributed financially for mom's care. When she passed, she left me a bracelet (not real gold) that I wear often as I think of her.
Reta Murphy 11 months ago
I was an oops, a mistake and was even told by my mom that everything bad happened to her in my birth month. She listed all the bad s**t that happened in the month over the years. broke her back, broke her ribs, an apt building they owned burned down. I said yeah, but I was born and she see what I mean. The only thing that kept me going was my brother who was 4 years older. He taught me to hunt, swim, ride bikes, ride motorcycles. He was my protector and best friend and still is. I didn't talk to my parents or 2 sisters for over 10 years but my brother was always there. I am in my 60's now and still hurts but I am a better person because of those a$$holes.
Paula Glasscoe 11 months ago
I’m so sorry you went through that but I’ll correct you on one thing, you are not a better person BECAUSE of those s**ty people, you are a better person IN SPITE of them. They have nothing to do with the fabulousness that is you! That is 100% because of your own self and your wonderful brother, they deserve no credit at all.
Load More Replies...
Stephanie Washington 11 months ago
NTA! You need to go to your Counselor at school! They are mandatory to report any kind of abuse. Neglect, emotional abuse and verbal abuse. Your parents and siblings are AH!!
Rose Slirzewski 11 months ago
There is an adult protective services department in every state. What OP describes is abuse and as he is a minor, and vulnerable individual. OP can report their parent's abuse himself. The division of youth and family services, or whatever it is called in OP's state, can help him apply to become an emancipated minor or potentially find a foster situation which is more supportive
Aileen Wuornos 11 months ago
This is one of the reasons abortion should be easily available for any reason at any stage.
Harry Verner 11 months ago
Any stage? That's ridiculous. U shoulda made a decision long b4 the 3rd trimester
Load More Replies...
Kohl_Keene 10 months ago
I hope you find a way to move out. I had abusive parents as well, got a job and room mate as soon as I could and never looked back. Find people who truly care for you and don’t expect favors while tearing you down
Still Going 11 months ago
What a heartbreaking story. Unbelievable, that a family would treat a member this way. I hope OP finds out more about emancipation; that could be the first step toward leaving "birth family" behind. My own children are grown so I'm not sure if schools still provide this, but maybe talking a school counselor if there is one? If not, a trusted teacher? A nurse at the doctor's office? Some sympathetic adult who might be able to help? (I was thinking a mandated reporter, but as there's no physical abuse, I'm not sure this qualifies.) Since parents and siblings aren't going to help or even listen, and there are no other relatives, getting away from this situation is paramount. Another thought: since parents have access to his bank account, maybe cashing paychecks and keeping cash in a safe (secret) place? Also, siince he already has a job, maybe some volunteer opportunities to keep him out of the house? Spending time at the library, to not be home? They can always use volunteer help, too.
Ruth Watry 11 months ago
I would let them know that you refuse to babysit, and if they leave their children with you, you will call CPS and report them for abandoning their children. Tell them that you are recoding your conversation, and let them know that you refuse to take their kids. Evidence if you have to call CPS
Donna Peluda 11 months ago
I'm.worried at got a vasectomy and mum still got pregnant. I'm hoping to get one this year.
TribbleThinking 11 months ago
That's why they check you after the vasectomy, to ensure that it worked.
Load More Replies...
Terry B 10 months ago
When I was born my older siblings were 11, 12,, and 13 years old. My parents raised me (and my sibling born 2 years after I was) as surprise gifts. I was only seven when my first nephew was born, and was close to my nephews and nieces growing up. My father died when I was 36, my mother when I was 47. I miss them.
bevky.knight 11 months ago
This is in response to the 16 year old who was unplanned by his parents.,This is a very abusive family.,He can call Child Protective Services and they will come out and do an evaluation on the young man and his family. If the situation is as bad as the young man states he can be removed from the home and placed in foster care. This family needs counseling badly to see the damage they are inflicting on this young man.
Skylar Jaxx 11 months ago
Those YTA and ESH here commenters mistreat there kids and a. See nothing wrong with it. B. Have no idea they are brain dead.
Katherine Smith 11 months ago
All the YTA can go walk off a cliff! This poor boy has been neglected and tormented for being an unwanted child his whole life! He has a right to feel the way he does! It's terrible the way his family treats him! My friend had a baby 2 years ago. It was unexpected for sure. Her youngest was almost 10. Her oldest 20. That boy is loved and cherished by all! That's how family is supposed to be!
Laura A Ivett 7 months ago
The YTA people are ignorant and pathetic, I swear those comments are just put in there as rage bait
Jason 9 months ago
Kk NTA however don't let this get you down, don't let this control WHO YOU ARE. I know it's hard and being so young and yes there is always help out there and you're never beyond help. Also and this is a hard one... don't let it affect your relationships. Not just the one you're in but potential future relationships. Rejection is hard, I'm still living with it from my youth and I'm 44. I wish I put my ego aside and got therapy help because in all the rejection in my life I keep pushing my wife away even when she is on my side because that's all I've ever known, rejection and broken hearts. Get help man, as soon as you're able leave home and don't look back, become a new you, a better you and find your true happiness. (I know you all heard happy p3ni$ like the video)
WhatDidUSayUrNameIs 11 months ago
Six years after a vasectomy Mom gets pregnant and "they're both 100% my bio parents" ?? Is he SURE sure? Did HE see the results, or did Mom just say it and he's supposed to accept that? Something seems off here.
Hoi-Polloi 11 months ago
Daughter: "Bro, you're adopted!" Son: "Daaaad, sissie says I'm adpoted!" Me: "Are you kidding me? We bought you BOTH from gypsies." Wife: "Are you kidding me? They paid US!"
James King 11 months ago
I can buy one or two of four older siblings treating him like that. Three...maybe. All four? Statistically, it's incredibly doubtful. Try harder next time.
Thanos'Fingers 11 months ago
What makes you think that one liner came from a bot? Sunshine and rainbows is exactly the type of thing a dumb Redditor would say
Load More Replies... Anne Roberts 11 months ago
I agree with the comment that his parents should have put him up for adoption as a baby. So many loving couples would be over the moon to adopt a baby to love. OP, you deserve so much better in life. I hope that happens and I wish you all the best!
Tonyah Mcanelly 11 months ago
I feel so bad for this kid. i wish i could take him in and show him what family is. My daughter in law has a similar relationship with her bio parents. Im glad she found my son he treats her well. he shows her what love is. The first time i met her we had a huge family boating trip we do annually and my son brought her out to California to join us for a 3 day excursion on the delta. When she got home she told my son she never felt a family experience like this one. We were all welcoming and there was no family drama. My son even asked me to pick up a case of beer so I did. she was suprised that I didnt ask for money for them to pay me back. THIS is family
Mark Childers 11 months ago
Even if the kid's perspective was skewed due to age and power dynamic, knowing he wasn't exactly wanted and didn't get the emotional and physical affection and support like little kids would growing up had to deeply scar him with lingering trauma and inability to relate and process feelings and relationships. Poor kid. No one deserves that.
tori Ohno 11 months ago
This is why I believe in Safe Sanctuary. A woman can leave her infant at certain places, hospital, firehouse, police station, etc, with absolutely NO legal repercussions. The child is deemed an orphan, and adopted out. We need more states to vote this into law. Especially since they're trying to take our reproductive rights away from us. Just let a woman walk away from the unwanted baby so it won't be abused like this one was.
Alexandra 11 months ago
Apparently the simplest things in life are the hardest for some people to understand. Your child, your responsibility. No one else's. Not your other kid's, not your sister, brother, mother, father, grandma, grandfather, neighbour, college roommate or anyone else: your responsibility, only yours and yours only.
Jude Laskowski 11 months ago
My friend was a surprise baby; his siblings were 12 and 14 years older. Luckily, everyone was thrilled when he came along. When his mom was widowed, she decided to move to a senior complex, and my friend drove one hour each way to have lunch with her every Sunday. Some of us "adopted" his mom, as our parents were all deceased. We celebrated her on Mother's Day, and swamped her with flowers. His siblings lived in another state and his brother was in the military, so they couldn't visit as often, but they contributed financially for mom's care. When she passed, she left me a bracelet (not real gold) that I wear often as I think of her.
Reta Murphy 11 months ago
I was an oops, a mistake and was even told by my mom that everything bad happened to her in my birth month. She listed all the bad s**t that happened in the month over the years. broke her back, broke her ribs, an apt building they owned burned down. I said yeah, but I was born and she see what I mean. The only thing that kept me going was my brother who was 4 years older. He taught me to hunt, swim, ride bikes, ride motorcycles. He was my protector and best friend and still is. I didn't talk to my parents or 2 sisters for over 10 years but my brother was always there. I am in my 60's now and still hurts but I am a better person because of those a$$holes.
Paula Glasscoe 11 months ago
I’m so sorry you went through that but I’ll correct you on one thing, you are not a better person BECAUSE of those s**ty people, you are a better person IN SPITE of them. They have nothing to do with the fabulousness that is you! That is 100% because of your own self and your wonderful brother, they deserve no credit at all.
Load More Replies... Stephanie Washington 11 months ago
NTA! You need to go to your Counselor at school! They are mandatory to report any kind of abuse. Neglect, emotional abuse and verbal abuse. Your parents and siblings are AH!!
Rose Slirzewski 11 months ago
There is an adult protective services department in every state. What OP describes is abuse and as he is a minor, and vulnerable individual. OP can report their parent's abuse himself. The division of youth and family services, or whatever it is called in OP's state, can help him apply to become an emancipated minor or potentially find a foster situation which is more supportive
Aileen Wuornos 11 months ago
This is one of the reasons abortion should be easily available for any reason at any stage.
Harry Verner 11 months ago
Any stage? That's ridiculous. U shoulda made a decision long b4 the 3rd trimester
Load More Replies... Kohl_Keene 10 months ago
I hope you find a way to move out. I had abusive parents as well, got a job and room mate as soon as I could and never looked back. Find people who truly care for you and don’t expect favors while tearing you down
Still Going 11 months ago
What a heartbreaking story. Unbelievable, that a family would treat a member this way. I hope OP finds out more about emancipation; that could be the first step toward leaving "birth family" behind. My own children are grown so I'm not sure if schools still provide this, but maybe talking a school counselor if there is one? If not, a trusted teacher? A nurse at the doctor's office? Some sympathetic adult who might be able to help? (I was thinking a mandated reporter, but as there's no physical abuse, I'm not sure this qualifies.) Since parents and siblings aren't going to help or even listen, and there are no other relatives, getting away from this situation is paramount. Another thought: since parents have access to his bank account, maybe cashing paychecks and keeping cash in a safe (secret) place? Also, siince he already has a job, maybe some volunteer opportunities to keep him out of the house? Spending time at the library, to not be home? They can always use volunteer help, too.
Ruth Watry 11 months ago
I would let them know that you refuse to babysit, and if they leave their children with you, you will call CPS and report them for abandoning their children. Tell them that you are recoding your conversation, and let them know that you refuse to take their kids. Evidence if you have to call CPS
Donna Peluda 11 months ago
I'm.worried at got a vasectomy and mum still got pregnant. I'm hoping to get one this year.
TribbleThinking 11 months ago
That's why they check you after the vasectomy, to ensure that it worked.
Load More Replies... Terry B 10 months ago
When I was born my older siblings were 11, 12,, and 13 years old. My parents raised me (and my sibling born 2 years after I was) as surprise gifts. I was only seven when my first nephew was born, and was close to my nephews and nieces growing up. My father died when I was 36, my mother when I was 47. I miss them.
bevky.knight 11 months ago
This is in response to the 16 year old who was unplanned by his parents.,This is a very abusive family.,He can call Child Protective Services and they will come out and do an evaluation on the young man and his family. If the situation is as bad as the young man states he can be removed from the home and placed in foster care. This family needs counseling badly to see the damage they are inflicting on this young man.
Skylar Jaxx 11 months ago
Those YTA and ESH here commenters mistreat there kids and a. See nothing wrong with it. B. Have no idea they are brain dead.
Katherine Smith 11 months ago
All the YTA can go walk off a cliff! This poor boy has been neglected and tormented for being an unwanted child his whole life! He has a right to feel the way he does! It's terrible the way his family treats him! My friend had a baby 2 years ago. It was unexpected for sure. Her youngest was almost 10. Her oldest 20. That boy is loved and cherished by all! That's how family is supposed to be!
Laura A Ivett 7 months ago
The YTA people are ignorant and pathetic, I swear those comments are just put in there as rage bait
Jason 9 months ago
Kk NTA however don't let this get you down, don't let this control WHO YOU ARE. I know it's hard and being so young and yes there is always help out there and you're never beyond help. Also and this is a hard one... don't let it affect your relationships. Not just the one you're in but potential future relationships. Rejection is hard, I'm still living with it from my youth and I'm 44. I wish I put my ego aside and got therapy help because in all the rejection in my life I keep pushing my wife away even when she is on my side because that's all I've ever known, rejection and broken hearts. Get help man, as soon as you're able leave home and don't look back, become a new you, a better you and find your true happiness. (I know you all heard happy p3ni$ like the video)
WhatDidUSayUrNameIs 11 months ago
Six years after a vasectomy Mom gets pregnant and "they're both 100% my bio parents" ?? Is he SURE sure? Did HE see the results, or did Mom just say it and he's supposed to accept that? Something seems off here.
Hoi-Polloi 11 months ago
Daughter: "Bro, you're adopted!" Son: "Daaaad, sissie says I'm adpoted!" Me: "Are you kidding me? We bought you BOTH from gypsies." Wife: "Are you kidding me? They paid US!"
James King 11 months ago
I can buy one or two of four older siblings treating him like that. Three...maybe. All four? Statistically, it's incredibly doubtful. Try harder next time.
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