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“I Can’t Drive Anywhere Without Permission? Ok, I’ll Follow That Rule. Maliciously”: Guy Complies With His Parents, They Regret It
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“I Can’t Drive Anywhere Without Permission? Ok, I’ll Follow That Rule. Maliciously”: Guy Complies With His Parents, They Regret It

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How many times have you heard “as long as you’re under my roof, you live by my rules”? While saying this cliche may instantly cause friction, the truth is that every family has a right to create its own set of boundaries. Such as picking up after yourself, cleaning up your messes, or putting away all devices after 8 pm, just to name a few. When done right, they become a valuable part of family dynamics and bring less stress, conflict, and yelling to everyday life.

Unfortunately, strict parents are notorious for going overboard with high expectations and unreasonable discipline techniques. And Redditor SDBeerGuy, Brian, knows this from personal experience. Last year, the teen shared his story on the ‘Malicious Compliance’ subreddit after he found himself on the receiving end of an over-the-top rule right after he got his driver’s license.

“You are not allowed to drive anywhere we do not give explicit permission for you to drive,” Brian’s parents told him. But instead of politely following their request, the user took the opportunity to spark some drama by proving just how pointless the new rule is. Continue scrolling to read how the whole ordeal unfolded, as well as our interview with adolescent psychologist Cameron (Dr. Cam) Caswell, Ph.D., and be sure to weigh in on the situation in the comments.

A 16-year-old teen shared how his parents came up with a rule that forbids him to drive anywhere without their permission

Image credits: Hareez Hussaini (not the actual photo)

So he set out to prove how unreasonable their request was by pulling an act of malicious compliance

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Image credits: Dom J (not the actual photo)

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Image credits: SDBeerGuy

Household rules can be a sensitive topic as everyone has different beliefs on what works best for their family. So it’s no surprise that Brian’s story caused quite a stir in the community, making Redditors rush to the comments section to share their reactions. As the replies show, many revealed their surprise about how wholesomely the story ended and applauded Brian’s dad for the way he handled the whole ordeal.

However, this situation could have been easily avoided if the family members had set realistic expectations for each other. To learn more about boundary-setting and the fine line between healthy rules that are worth implementing and those that only spark tension in the family dynamics, we reached out to Cameron Caswell, Ph.D., a “teen translator”, family success coach, and author of the book called Power Phrases for Parents: Teen Edition.

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According to her, adolescence is the period when kids learn and improve their problem-solving and decision-making skills. “This means they aren’t good at it yet. The only way to get good is to practice and that often means making some bad choices along the way.”

Dr. Cam asked you to think of it as learning to ride a bike. “We may topple over and swerve into things before we’re able to race around the block. To protect us, we’re told to stick to the sidewalk or wear a helmet. We still may get some bumps and bruises, but we avoid serious injury. Healthy boundaries do the same thing. They give our kids plenty of room to learn, even fail, while keeping them safe from danger,” she explained.

However, the psychologist pointed out that some parents get pretty good at imagining all the dangers that may befall their kids. Then they can go overboard and start implementing strict rules out of fear. “Although it may ease your worry in the moment, when boundaries are too restrictive, we prevent our teens from developing the critical skills they need to make good choices on their own. Besides, if our teens don’t understand the purpose of our rules/boundaries, rather than learning from them, they learn how to get around them,” she added.

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Moreover, some parents, like Brian’s, come up with unbending rules even when their children stay out of trouble and do well in school. “I heard someone say the other day that their child expected to get recognition when they did a chore or got a good grade. Their response to them was, ‘You don’t get a prize when you do what you’re supposed to do. It doesn’t work that way.’ Why not?”, Dr. Cam asked.

She works with many parents who are quick to dole out punishments as soon as their child does something wrong. “The irony is, we get more of what we focus on. Wouldn’t it make sense then to focus more on what they do right? If you want your teen to take out the garbage more, thank them when they take it out rather than yell at them when they don’t,” she explained. But sadly, doing the “right” thing is often more difficult than doing the “wrong” thing. “The kids I talk to that make that effort, yet still only get in trouble when they do something wrong, tell me, ‘Why bother. They only see the bad stuff anyway.'”

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When parents meet their kids with strict and irrational rules, it can feel frustrating for them to know that adults simply don’t take them seriously enough. Moreover, adolescence is the bridge from childhood to adulthood, so it’s only natural for teens to look for independence and seek out their personalities. Something that inevitably makes them want to push back and fight for their beliefs.

Dr. Cam explained that when parents perceive their kids’ behavior as rebellious and disrespectful, it’s often teenagers’ best attempt to self-advocate and be heard. “When we get mad at that and shut them down, we send the message that what they think and feel doesn’t matter. I get it, teen attitudes can really get under our skin. But when we lose our patience, our anger only heightens their emotions, and things quickly escalate,” she told us.

“Expecting our kids to stay calm, respectful, and reasonable when they’re upset even though we don’t is just silly. If we want our interactions with our teens to be calm, we need to model what it looks like to stay calm even when we’re upset. If we want our conversations to be more respectful and reasonable, we need to model how to communicate in a more respectful, reasonable manner even when we disagree. It’s difficult even for us adults, and we’ve had more opportunities to practice it than our teens have,” Dr. Cam concluded.

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After reading the story, Redditors rushed to the comment section to share their reactions

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Ieva Gailiūtė

Ieva Gailiūtė

Writer, Community member

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Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee.

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Ieva Gailiūtė

Ieva Gailiūtė

Writer, Community member

Ieva is a writer at Bored Panda who graduated in Scandinavian studies from Vilnius University. After learning the Swedish language and getting completely lost in the world of Scandinavian mythology, she figured out that translating and writing is what she's passionate about. When not writing, Ieva enjoys making jewelry, going on hikes, reading and drinking coffee.

Justinas Keturka

Justinas Keturka

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

Read less »

Justinas Keturka

Justinas Keturka

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm the Visual Editor at Bored Panda, responsible for ensuring that everything our audience sees is top-notch and well-researched. What I love most about my job? Discovering new things about the world and immersing myself in exceptional photography and art.

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Mad Dragon
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents refused to let me get my license until I got a 4.0 GPA in high school. That didn’t happen. They then told me I couldn’t get my license until I got a 4.0 GPA in college. They told me that since it was their car I would be using, they were within their rights. I agreed. I got my license, bought my own car, and insured it with my own money. They objected to that. I moved out two weeks later and have been on my own for 25 years.

Emma
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it just me or with the way the whole story was written, it sounded completely made up.

Seán Hannan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the person who guessed that the Dad knew it was unreasonable all along but felt he had to back his wife until the son pulled off the MC, was correct.

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Kusotare
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It seems a lot of people are giving Dad more credit than he deserves. Yeah, he realized that the OP was only complying with their rules, but if he really was Awesome Dad, he would have realized the rule was overly harsh in the first place. I understand he could have taken it out on the OP even further, so he's a good Dad, but an Awesome Dad wouldn't have gone there in the first place. He would have gently pulled step-Mom back from the brink of insanity, instead of following her over.

NsG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It has a touch of the fairy tale about the whole thing - evil stepmother, bratty little sister and not-really-participating-until-the-end dad. However, giving the story the benefit of the doubt, I'd say the very final comment is the one with the largest footprint in reality: dad agrees with stepmother initially to keep her happy and knows it won't hold water, but if he argues with his wife he will get a tongue lashing too ("happy wife, happy life" since we're trotting out *all* the clichés), gets too graciously admit defeat and compromise later.

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Xander Preece
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

… im i the only one who didnt think it was unreasonable? Like just ask your parents… its literally not that hard, this is how i live as well, not allowed anywhere without permission. "But why?" Because if im ever in trouble or if my parents need me they know where i am, i also want to point out that the end sounds so made up.

Haily Jynne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what I thought. Especially if he just text his parents for permission, or even just an update on his location, that is totally reasonable.

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Bi-Polar Express
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Am I the only one calling BS here? This kid was probably not driving his own car, so he had to get permission. So what? And if driving his sister to ballet was one of his chores then he had permission. Either his dad is a complete idiot or this didn't happen this way. I couldn't just drive my parents' cars wherever I wanted. Neither could my kids.

Lynda V
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How many cars did they own? Both parents were out separately. So at least three, I guess lol hmm

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Leah
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I call BS on this whole story. Perhaps something mildly similar happened but this sounds more like wishful thinking. As if he wished he actually had the balls to do that and get away with it.

Melissa Coleman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have been in this position as a parent. I have discovered that apologizing to my kids when I have made a mistake makes my relationship with them a lot better! And it also has strengthened the trust between us. Giving them a little room to make some choices for themselves, when they have earned it, also teaches responsibility. I

BordestPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if this story was real, it’d be stupid. Kid just got his license, probably wasn’t driving a car that belonged to him, or paying for insurance/gas.

Anastashia Charleton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually both parents were out separately. Meaning they least have three cars. I never had to ask for permission just told my parents where I was going, who I was going with, and when I'd be back. The only thing I remember asking permission for was if I could eat something like a snack. Even if I bought it, I found myself asking for permission to eat. He doesn't need to ask if he can go to a friend's house for a bit. Just tell them " hey, I'm going to so and so's house. I'll be back in couple of hours."

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Whodathunkit
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know. Honestly the kid had just gotten his license. These restrictions probably would have loosened once the 16 yr old had a little more time driving experience under his belt and proven his safety and responsibility. I doubt it was his car and I'm sure they were paying his insurance. The mature thing to do in this instance would be to initiate a conversation with his parents and clarify their expectations rather than be manipulative. If that was my kid I wound be too impressed with his behavior.

Diane Knight
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'Just got his license' but mom didn't hesitate to have him go buy a few items at the store, seems like a double standard. You kowtow to my whims and wants. How DARE you have independent thought and go around second guessing what I want. Little 'brat' now has to be driven to class, as long as it's at her (mom's)convenience, he's good, but if he stops at pals to show his newly acquired license, he gets slapped. What 16 yr old has his own car or insurance? He gets job ,saves the money for a car and pays for it and the items that is required to have it street-ready. Most parents look forward to the day that their child can ease the burden of being a 'taxi' or errand 'grunt'. My Mom loved the fact that we could run to the store for bread and milk or haul the little bro to his friend's house or pick him up from the pal's home. we were not in after-school activities, but my children were, what a great thing not to have to stop whatever I had going on to bring or pickup said child.

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Deborah B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's a case of "We want to know where you are and who you're with" taken a bit far. Kids need boundries, especially a 16 boy with his first car. They went overboard, possibly because they panicked when he was late home the first time he drove alone, and they realised the didn't know where he'd gone. They over-reacted, which was a mistake, then tried to stick to the unreasonable rule, which was also a mistake. Cue malicious compliance, and that's when they realise they're being over-controlling assholes. Kudos for Dad for calling a halt to it, and agreeing to more reasonable rules. Well done to the son for handling it without breaking the rules and clouding the issue.

Heather Warner
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had this very rule when my daughter turned 16 and started driving. The more she got used to driving the more places she could go but she had to have a GPS on just in case of car trouble. She is now 23 drives all over the country...and STILL keeps her GPS on so we all know where each other is at in case of emergency. She says it makes her feel more safe that we can always find her, or her last location.

DrBronxx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then everyone stood up and clapped. Also, in the unlikely event that this story is actually true, to me the only person who comes off (kind of) well here is the dad.

scarletsin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i don't think their rule was unreasonable tbh, a 16 y.o is just a teen, driver license or not, and it's normal for parents to know where their kids are, what if something happened to him? he just got his license. also, siblings ALWAYS fight, annoy and need each other, the sister needed to get to her class their parents probably paid in the car their parents provided for him to drive. he's an a*****e.

Lori Morsman
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those who are arguing that OP is a newbie driver so needs more constraints but his parents are reasonable to expect him to drive young sibling to ballet as a regular chore are inconsistent. If he can barely be trusted to exercise independent judgment then why is it logical to entrust him with the transport of a minor child? Step mom wants the convenience, that's why. And, those who argue that OP is using parent's car and insurance, well, yeah. That's how they are getting a gofer and child transporter. So, if you want your kid to do those things, you should allow them to also use the car for their own errands. The rule should be, let us know where you are headed. And have teen pay for the gas over x gallons OR limit the mileage driven without explicit permission. Sort it all out with give & take before the teen even gets the license.

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J Adams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So did the op tell the step mother the reason why they didn’t drive the sister? Without that I find it very hard to believe the outcome to the story

John Doe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well you entitled little sh!t, it's not your car and this story sounds made up. You walked away with your back to your parents and a big grin on your face? What is this, a teen girl's drama?

Jamie Dawn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was kinda expecting a "I ran out of gas because they never gave me permission to stop at a gas station" lol

Olson Whitguy
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Total BS!! "Fast forward three days later"... Next... "I have taken her to ballet 3 days a week since I got my license." Time travel much? Please people, tell me you don't believe a random Redditor's (I hate my parents cause they don't $upport me) story??

Jason Mahurin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You'd have to be incredibly naive to buy this harrowing tale from the life of this criminal mastermind 🙄 This is nothing but a self-aggrandized fantasy that exists only in the mind of an entitled (and evidently deluded) teenage 'tough guy' wannabe. That said, if - by some miracle - this nonsense IS true, then the father is certainly not a hero, as some have suggested...but rather a spineless idiot who is apparently too weak-willed to stand up to his son and call him on his sarcastic, narcissistic, & passive-aggressive BS.

Michael Ross
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad woulda slapped the s**t outta me for being a smart a*s ! But he also wouldn't have had such a crazy rule either.

Reynaldo Flores
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How Petty!!. There are thousands of other 16 year olds who don't even have access to a private car. And they have other problems to cope with. Total waste of my time .

Marilyn Russell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait Till Your Father Gets Home was a good cartoon show I used to love watching in the 70’s when I was a kid. I should see if it’s on YouTube…

Adrienne McMillan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My oldest won't have a license for four more years but I will have a similar rule. I need to know where my children are at all times. Maybe not so much ask for permission for every move you make. But like, "stopping by Kroger and Xyz's house after practice," text. It's about safety, not control, for me.

Johnny Young
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well done my man, Well done. Let their own rule come back and bite them on the backside. Pops knew what you did is what they told you do. I would love to had seen the look on his face. Priceless!

Amber Seay
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man sounds like a spoiled brat your not even tht slick it's clear you had previous orders to continuously take her to the class. And there's no reason to be a jerk to your own sibling be happy your parents were willing to teach you to drive mine never did... ungrateful and entitled

Doug Graham
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of all the things that didn't happen, this absolutely didn't happen so much, it unhappened things that already had.

jjdubs W
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great story. But quoting Steve Miller by a teen of today? Hahahahahaha

Brian Spero Jr.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll never forget a similar situation. In public school my parents forced me to have a learning aid. They were nice, mind you, and they were needed EARLY ON but...In high school I didn't need them anymore and ditched them as often as I could. Hell, the last one even took a hint and only occasionally checked up on my once an hour or sat in the corner reading a book. But my story is like this one because my parents intended to send the aid with myle to college. Except I had a trick - ai DIDN'T HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE like I did K - 12. I said if they got me an aid, I would reject my acceptance letter. Needless to say my parents were shocked, but for the first time ever the power WAS in MY hands, so they had no choice but to close out the case with the company as "Successful". MAN, it felt great to walk into college all alone. My parents did convince me to allow a check in for the first tw years, but it was 1 hour once a week and not during class. 9 out of 10 times we just played a game

Zeke Ramos
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just so you know you didn't have to go to K-12 either. Probably could have pulled this move a lot sooner than college.

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Lori Lathrom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Take the drama out of a situation. Don’t base your rules on past grievances. If you’ve got a good kid, and you want to KEEP him good, don’t make him resent you with disrespectful, rules that don’t fit the situation. In Oregon USA, a new driver, under 18, is not allowed to transport minors.

Nina Kay
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nice try. You're 16 and living under their house, using a car that doesn't belong to you. He was asked to go to the store real quick and that means to come home after. I would have been in so much trouble for that just like I would have been trouble for not taking my sibling to a dance class when I've already been taking them. As a 16-year-old it ain't that hard to ask permission to stop by your friend's house and get permission. I was never allowed to go anywhere without asking permission since I'm using their car, gas and their insurance. Also I will get in trouble if my GPS on my phone isn't working because my mother would track where I go and keep track of the time. Now that is overbearing and controlling. I'm 19 and she STILL does it. My sister is 25 has her own car and insurance but since she's still living at home she still asks permission to go anywhere out of respect for our mother. Now I think that's controlling all my sister should have to do would be tell where she's going

Lori Morsman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You seem to first be saying your parents did right by being controlling rather than reasonable then rebutting your own argument by saying how controlling and wrong your parents are still behaving regarding the same issues.

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Evermore
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

Lunar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get that OP want to have freedom of driving and by all means he deserves it as long as he drive responsibly and don't cause trouble. I just hope that he inform his parents where is he going every time.

EpicWolfandSparrow
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm really happy for them, the dad was so kind about the situation. If my mom and sister ran out to my dad after his work I think all three of them would gang up on me

Susan Bosse
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good dad to have your back, be reasonable and not jump on board with the other two.

Siobhan Skinner
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a brat. Until you are the one paying the car note, the gas, the insurance etc you damn well will ask permission when you are going to use my car to go to a friend's house. You're 16 years old! I get that in the heart of the moment absolutes were put into place but since you think you are grown then I guess you need to act like it and communicate your thoughts and feelings. Also, no one gives a s**t if your younger sibling was being a jerk, that's life.

Cassandra Reese
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone has clearly forgotten how it felt to be a teenager, chill out. If they're a good kid who doesn't cause trouble then keeping iron control only makes them go LC or NC (ask my parents). As a parent with a child who is fast approaching her teen years I'm trying my hardest to keep those experiences in mind and not act like them.

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DDmaybeandor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a wholesome story. I really like it. Thank you for sharing.

Mikey Kliss
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The stepmom sounds awful. I had one of those growing up (til she cheated on my dad). No fun

B. K.
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Sometimes stepparents are more concerned about damage to properly and liability costs from a teenage driver.

Libstak
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I call childish B'S on this one. He clearly he permission to drive the sister to ballet if he had been expected to do so on each occasion in the past. He also contradicted himself in that he had only just got his license and was showing off to his friend yet he had already driven to another friend the day before plus he had the established expectation that he was to drive his sister to the ballet lessons 3 x per week. This is a pat myself on the back for my grand pettiness level dummy spit. Finally, if he had only been 5 minutes at the friends place his parents wouldn't even notice, I am absolutely sure he was very much longer than that and the groceries were needed for that days cooking.

Donna Chapman
Community Member
2 years ago

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I am making a good salary from home $6580-$7065/week , which is amazing under a year ago I was jobless in a horrible economy. I thank God every day I was blessed with these instructions and now its my duty to pay it forward and share it with Everyone, Here is I started__________ www.Worksful.com

Mad Dragon
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My parents refused to let me get my license until I got a 4.0 GPA in high school. That didn’t happen. They then told me I couldn’t get my license until I got a 4.0 GPA in college. They told me that since it was their car I would be using, they were within their rights. I agreed. I got my license, bought my own car, and insured it with my own money. They objected to that. I moved out two weeks later and have been on my own for 25 years.

Emma
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is it just me or with the way the whole story was written, it sounded completely made up.

Seán Hannan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the person who guessed that the Dad knew it was unreasonable all along but felt he had to back his wife until the son pulled off the MC, was correct.

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Kusotare
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It seems a lot of people are giving Dad more credit than he deserves. Yeah, he realized that the OP was only complying with their rules, but if he really was Awesome Dad, he would have realized the rule was overly harsh in the first place. I understand he could have taken it out on the OP even further, so he's a good Dad, but an Awesome Dad wouldn't have gone there in the first place. He would have gently pulled step-Mom back from the brink of insanity, instead of following her over.

NsG
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It has a touch of the fairy tale about the whole thing - evil stepmother, bratty little sister and not-really-participating-until-the-end dad. However, giving the story the benefit of the doubt, I'd say the very final comment is the one with the largest footprint in reality: dad agrees with stepmother initially to keep her happy and knows it won't hold water, but if he argues with his wife he will get a tongue lashing too ("happy wife, happy life" since we're trotting out *all* the clichés), gets too graciously admit defeat and compromise later.

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Xander Preece
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

… im i the only one who didnt think it was unreasonable? Like just ask your parents… its literally not that hard, this is how i live as well, not allowed anywhere without permission. "But why?" Because if im ever in trouble or if my parents need me they know where i am, i also want to point out that the end sounds so made up.

Haily Jynne
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what I thought. Especially if he just text his parents for permission, or even just an update on his location, that is totally reasonable.

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Bi-Polar Express
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Am I the only one calling BS here? This kid was probably not driving his own car, so he had to get permission. So what? And if driving his sister to ballet was one of his chores then he had permission. Either his dad is a complete idiot or this didn't happen this way. I couldn't just drive my parents' cars wherever I wanted. Neither could my kids.

Lynda V
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How many cars did they own? Both parents were out separately. So at least three, I guess lol hmm

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Leah
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I call BS on this whole story. Perhaps something mildly similar happened but this sounds more like wishful thinking. As if he wished he actually had the balls to do that and get away with it.

Melissa Coleman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have been in this position as a parent. I have discovered that apologizing to my kids when I have made a mistake makes my relationship with them a lot better! And it also has strengthened the trust between us. Giving them a little room to make some choices for themselves, when they have earned it, also teaches responsibility. I

BordestPanda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if this story was real, it’d be stupid. Kid just got his license, probably wasn’t driving a car that belonged to him, or paying for insurance/gas.

Anastashia Charleton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Actually both parents were out separately. Meaning they least have three cars. I never had to ask for permission just told my parents where I was going, who I was going with, and when I'd be back. The only thing I remember asking permission for was if I could eat something like a snack. Even if I bought it, I found myself asking for permission to eat. He doesn't need to ask if he can go to a friend's house for a bit. Just tell them " hey, I'm going to so and so's house. I'll be back in couple of hours."

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Whodathunkit
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know. Honestly the kid had just gotten his license. These restrictions probably would have loosened once the 16 yr old had a little more time driving experience under his belt and proven his safety and responsibility. I doubt it was his car and I'm sure they were paying his insurance. The mature thing to do in this instance would be to initiate a conversation with his parents and clarify their expectations rather than be manipulative. If that was my kid I wound be too impressed with his behavior.

Diane Knight
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'Just got his license' but mom didn't hesitate to have him go buy a few items at the store, seems like a double standard. You kowtow to my whims and wants. How DARE you have independent thought and go around second guessing what I want. Little 'brat' now has to be driven to class, as long as it's at her (mom's)convenience, he's good, but if he stops at pals to show his newly acquired license, he gets slapped. What 16 yr old has his own car or insurance? He gets job ,saves the money for a car and pays for it and the items that is required to have it street-ready. Most parents look forward to the day that their child can ease the burden of being a 'taxi' or errand 'grunt'. My Mom loved the fact that we could run to the store for bread and milk or haul the little bro to his friend's house or pick him up from the pal's home. we were not in after-school activities, but my children were, what a great thing not to have to stop whatever I had going on to bring or pickup said child.

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Deborah B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's a case of "We want to know where you are and who you're with" taken a bit far. Kids need boundries, especially a 16 boy with his first car. They went overboard, possibly because they panicked when he was late home the first time he drove alone, and they realised the didn't know where he'd gone. They over-reacted, which was a mistake, then tried to stick to the unreasonable rule, which was also a mistake. Cue malicious compliance, and that's when they realise they're being over-controlling assholes. Kudos for Dad for calling a halt to it, and agreeing to more reasonable rules. Well done to the son for handling it without breaking the rules and clouding the issue.

Heather Warner
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had this very rule when my daughter turned 16 and started driving. The more she got used to driving the more places she could go but she had to have a GPS on just in case of car trouble. She is now 23 drives all over the country...and STILL keeps her GPS on so we all know where each other is at in case of emergency. She says it makes her feel more safe that we can always find her, or her last location.

DrBronxx
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And then everyone stood up and clapped. Also, in the unlikely event that this story is actually true, to me the only person who comes off (kind of) well here is the dad.

scarletsin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i don't think their rule was unreasonable tbh, a 16 y.o is just a teen, driver license or not, and it's normal for parents to know where their kids are, what if something happened to him? he just got his license. also, siblings ALWAYS fight, annoy and need each other, the sister needed to get to her class their parents probably paid in the car their parents provided for him to drive. he's an a*****e.

Lori Morsman
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those who are arguing that OP is a newbie driver so needs more constraints but his parents are reasonable to expect him to drive young sibling to ballet as a regular chore are inconsistent. If he can barely be trusted to exercise independent judgment then why is it logical to entrust him with the transport of a minor child? Step mom wants the convenience, that's why. And, those who argue that OP is using parent's car and insurance, well, yeah. That's how they are getting a gofer and child transporter. So, if you want your kid to do those things, you should allow them to also use the car for their own errands. The rule should be, let us know where you are headed. And have teen pay for the gas over x gallons OR limit the mileage driven without explicit permission. Sort it all out with give & take before the teen even gets the license.

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J Adams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So did the op tell the step mother the reason why they didn’t drive the sister? Without that I find it very hard to believe the outcome to the story

John Doe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well you entitled little sh!t, it's not your car and this story sounds made up. You walked away with your back to your parents and a big grin on your face? What is this, a teen girl's drama?

Jamie Dawn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was kinda expecting a "I ran out of gas because they never gave me permission to stop at a gas station" lol

Olson Whitguy
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Total BS!! "Fast forward three days later"... Next... "I have taken her to ballet 3 days a week since I got my license." Time travel much? Please people, tell me you don't believe a random Redditor's (I hate my parents cause they don't $upport me) story??

Jason Mahurin
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You'd have to be incredibly naive to buy this harrowing tale from the life of this criminal mastermind 🙄 This is nothing but a self-aggrandized fantasy that exists only in the mind of an entitled (and evidently deluded) teenage 'tough guy' wannabe. That said, if - by some miracle - this nonsense IS true, then the father is certainly not a hero, as some have suggested...but rather a spineless idiot who is apparently too weak-willed to stand up to his son and call him on his sarcastic, narcissistic, & passive-aggressive BS.

Michael Ross
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My dad woulda slapped the s**t outta me for being a smart a*s ! But he also wouldn't have had such a crazy rule either.

Reynaldo Flores
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How Petty!!. There are thousands of other 16 year olds who don't even have access to a private car. And they have other problems to cope with. Total waste of my time .

Marilyn Russell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wait Till Your Father Gets Home was a good cartoon show I used to love watching in the 70’s when I was a kid. I should see if it’s on YouTube…

Adrienne McMillan
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My oldest won't have a license for four more years but I will have a similar rule. I need to know where my children are at all times. Maybe not so much ask for permission for every move you make. But like, "stopping by Kroger and Xyz's house after practice," text. It's about safety, not control, for me.

Johnny Young
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well done my man, Well done. Let their own rule come back and bite them on the backside. Pops knew what you did is what they told you do. I would love to had seen the look on his face. Priceless!

Amber Seay
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Man sounds like a spoiled brat your not even tht slick it's clear you had previous orders to continuously take her to the class. And there's no reason to be a jerk to your own sibling be happy your parents were willing to teach you to drive mine never did... ungrateful and entitled

Doug Graham
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of all the things that didn't happen, this absolutely didn't happen so much, it unhappened things that already had.

jjdubs W
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Great story. But quoting Steve Miller by a teen of today? Hahahahahaha

Brian Spero Jr.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'll never forget a similar situation. In public school my parents forced me to have a learning aid. They were nice, mind you, and they were needed EARLY ON but...In high school I didn't need them anymore and ditched them as often as I could. Hell, the last one even took a hint and only occasionally checked up on my once an hour or sat in the corner reading a book. But my story is like this one because my parents intended to send the aid with myle to college. Except I had a trick - ai DIDN'T HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE like I did K - 12. I said if they got me an aid, I would reject my acceptance letter. Needless to say my parents were shocked, but for the first time ever the power WAS in MY hands, so they had no choice but to close out the case with the company as "Successful". MAN, it felt great to walk into college all alone. My parents did convince me to allow a check in for the first tw years, but it was 1 hour once a week and not during class. 9 out of 10 times we just played a game

Zeke Ramos
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just so you know you didn't have to go to K-12 either. Probably could have pulled this move a lot sooner than college.

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Lori Lathrom
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Take the drama out of a situation. Don’t base your rules on past grievances. If you’ve got a good kid, and you want to KEEP him good, don’t make him resent you with disrespectful, rules that don’t fit the situation. In Oregon USA, a new driver, under 18, is not allowed to transport minors.

Nina Kay
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nice try. You're 16 and living under their house, using a car that doesn't belong to you. He was asked to go to the store real quick and that means to come home after. I would have been in so much trouble for that just like I would have been trouble for not taking my sibling to a dance class when I've already been taking them. As a 16-year-old it ain't that hard to ask permission to stop by your friend's house and get permission. I was never allowed to go anywhere without asking permission since I'm using their car, gas and their insurance. Also I will get in trouble if my GPS on my phone isn't working because my mother would track where I go and keep track of the time. Now that is overbearing and controlling. I'm 19 and she STILL does it. My sister is 25 has her own car and insurance but since she's still living at home she still asks permission to go anywhere out of respect for our mother. Now I think that's controlling all my sister should have to do would be tell where she's going

Lori Morsman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You seem to first be saying your parents did right by being controlling rather than reasonable then rebutting your own argument by saying how controlling and wrong your parents are still behaving regarding the same issues.

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Evermore
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

Lunar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get that OP want to have freedom of driving and by all means he deserves it as long as he drive responsibly and don't cause trouble. I just hope that he inform his parents where is he going every time.

EpicWolfandSparrow
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm really happy for them, the dad was so kind about the situation. If my mom and sister ran out to my dad after his work I think all three of them would gang up on me

Susan Bosse
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good dad to have your back, be reasonable and not jump on board with the other two.

Siobhan Skinner
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a brat. Until you are the one paying the car note, the gas, the insurance etc you damn well will ask permission when you are going to use my car to go to a friend's house. You're 16 years old! I get that in the heart of the moment absolutes were put into place but since you think you are grown then I guess you need to act like it and communicate your thoughts and feelings. Also, no one gives a s**t if your younger sibling was being a jerk, that's life.

Cassandra Reese
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Someone has clearly forgotten how it felt to be a teenager, chill out. If they're a good kid who doesn't cause trouble then keeping iron control only makes them go LC or NC (ask my parents). As a parent with a child who is fast approaching her teen years I'm trying my hardest to keep those experiences in mind and not act like them.

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DDmaybeandor
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a wholesome story. I really like it. Thank you for sharing.

Mikey Kliss
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The stepmom sounds awful. I had one of those growing up (til she cheated on my dad). No fun

B. K.
Community Member
2 years ago

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Sometimes stepparents are more concerned about damage to properly and liability costs from a teenage driver.

Libstak
Community Member
2 years ago

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I call childish B'S on this one. He clearly he permission to drive the sister to ballet if he had been expected to do so on each occasion in the past. He also contradicted himself in that he had only just got his license and was showing off to his friend yet he had already driven to another friend the day before plus he had the established expectation that he was to drive his sister to the ballet lessons 3 x per week. This is a pat myself on the back for my grand pettiness level dummy spit. Finally, if he had only been 5 minutes at the friends place his parents wouldn't even notice, I am absolutely sure he was very much longer than that and the groceries were needed for that days cooking.

Donna Chapman
Community Member
2 years ago

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