Husband sounds like the real baby.

"I negociated a full year of maternity leave" ... "In return for the accomodation I got a full month I got a month of uninterupted time with my new baby. Then I started taking on task from home on my own schedule". You did NOT negociate a full year of maternity leave. You got a month of true maternity leave, and got at work-from-home-deal after that on reduced time. Maternity LEAVE is that, you leave your work for a period to focus solely on parenting. By European standards you got quite a bad deal there, where you basically worked during what should have been time dedicated to your family.

Sadly common story: husband in an a*****e, wife argues back, husband runs to mommy, argument now involves extended family, whole family argues, wife correctly calls him out, husband cried about being embarassed/emasculated in from of the family.

As someone who has been In a similar position (more then once) if given a fixed deadline, a job will suddenly appear that will cover childcare costs the week before the deadline.

This is why women don't have children anymore or they have them single. Lots of promises from their partner and when the baby is born almost all of them either complain about how much time the baby is taking up, or Theydont do their share with anything at home, and it hurts the relationship but they still want conversation, sex, money, a fully rounded relatio ship. Then the partner gets dissapointed and resentful and leaves with the child, and men go around "pregnancy changes a woman. You're not the woman I chose to be with." No sh*t, and you haven't swept the floors or changed the baby without me bagg8ng you to death.

If I was her I would not have shared bank accounts.

He should feel emasculated by wanting to sit by and watch his wife be the sole provider of his house hold and family, when usually and naturally the man is the provider and head of house hold in that sense. On top of you birthing his beautiful baby. Now you're supposed to provide for the whole family, and stay at home taking care of the baby constantly..while he does what?? Twiddles his fingers and walks around with his thumb up his a*s???! I'm truly sorry to be so brash.. but that is unacceptable, I'm so sorry you're going through that. Do not be manipulated or taken advantage of. That's not what you as a woman were made for, to play the role of both the WIFE AND HUSBAND while you actually have a husband who should be your partner, 50/50. AND BTW, It's a little disturbing when men consider caring for their own child or being at home with their offspring as "BABYSITTING".

You can write and parent. Shirley Jackson pulled it off.

First, I suggest that you consider getting separate checking accounts. Then I suggest you give him an ultimatum, tell him that either he gets a job or he goes to live with mama and see how much she likes taking care of her man child.

And it's not "babysitting" if it's your own child.

The hubby doesn't want any responsibility but wants to live the life of luxury. If he's not willing to contribute financially or by caring for his child he's just a deadbeat. That being said, I wouldn't leave my child with someone who didn't want to care for him and left him to cry.

He sounds just as bad as my daughter's fiance. They have 3 children together. 2 boys 6 and 8 and a girl who is 18 months old. He works full time an hour away by car which means it costs a fortune and leaves for work at 4.30am every day. My daughter also works full time Mon to Friday 7am to 4pm. She took a year maternity leave as in Sweden it's paid for plus no daycare takes children under 1 year old. No travel costs as she works 10 minutes away. 3 kids and he has only stayed home with the youngest once and not at all with the older ones. He also works part-time at a farm, evenings and weekends. He uses their apartment as a hotel. Oh and he's taken 2 weeks paternal leave for the youngest over Christmas and New year but both my daughter and I know he will spend it working at the farm. Leaving my daughter to do everything as usual. Makes me furious

The OP has tried to get her husband To compromise but he refuses. It seems to be it’s his way or no way. However she is the main breadwinner Therefore since he refuses to compromise she should just make the decision to hire the nanny and take it out of their fun money. When he complains and we know he will all she has to do is tell him these are the consequences of your actions or lack there of. If he wants to be treated like a man he needs to act like a man it’s plain and simple. OP needs to find her backbone (No disrespect meant) Hire a nanny and do what she needs to do do what’s best for that child in that household. Because the only person that her husband is thinking about is himself.

It's called parenting not babysitting

Nta. Money is needed to raise a child and to live. Earning money is a way to take care of your children

I don't understand. Can't they bring the kid to kindergarden? If he's 1 yo it's old enough for it. It's what all the working parents do. About the guy, clearly he wasn't ready to be a dad. The emasculation thing would have me rolling my eyes for an hour. I feel like it's more about being dismessed by his father than the problem itself.

If you have to get up and go to work everyday so should he. When you come home he should be leaving to go to work period

Sorry dude, writing is a valid job IF you are making money at it. Otherwise it's a hobby or a dream and you need to wake up and live in the real world where both parents contribute in a meaningful way to the household. Either by working and contributing financially or by doing the majority of the work of childcare and houskeeping. He may never get another book that's picked up by anyone and that makes money, it's one of the realities of being an author. Many very successful authors still have to continue another job to pay the bills.

NTA. Tell this man-child that you don't babysit your own kid! It's called parenting, and it's for both parents, not just mommy. Aspiring author, my foot!

NTA your husband is keep firm with the choices you gave him no fun money for nanny to help out. He crazy

He emasculated himself when he ran to his Mommy. With his attitude, it's no surprise he's a Momma's boy. Good for FIL for a touch of reality. Big baby boy needs to man up and do his part. Mom doesn't need two infants to take care of.