“Subtle Sexism”: Guy Compares His And His Fiancée’s Pants To Prove A Point
Interview With AuthorGo take a handful of shirts or pants and just compare the size written on that little tag on the back. Your findings will probably differ depending on if you mostly wear men’s or women’s clothing. If this is news to you, then get comfortable as you scroll through.
This was an experiment that TikToker, father, ally, and Men’s advocate Expatriarch, who shared the realities of women’s clothing sizes with his viewers. So if you have never gone into a store to buy women’s clothing, then get ready to see just how many different sizes can, somehow, be applied to the same pieces of clothing. We got in touch with Expatriarch to learn more.
More info: TikTok
One TikToker decided to document just how widely the sizes of his fiance’s pants differ
Image credits: expatriarch
“Gentlemen, another way that subtle sexism shows up, is in clothing sizes. Now, my fiancée gave permission to raid her closet, and these are all pants that fit her.”
Image credits: expatriarch
“All right, so we got a size 8. We got a size 10.”
Image credits: expatriarch
Image credits: expatriarch
“These are a size 4 or 27, size 29.”
Image credits: expatriarch
Image credits: expatriarch
“We also have a medium, so good luck guessing what size that is. Apparently it’s the same size as a large in these.”
Image credits: expatriarch
Image credits: expatriarch
Image credits: expatriarch
“All right, so let’s compare that to the men.”
Image credits: expatriarch
“34. While sizing is pretty consistent for men, there’s incredible variation in sizing for women across brands, meaning that waste measurements can’t be relied upon.”
Image credits: expatriarch
“And you can even be a different numeric size in the same brand, depending on different styles, and even more difficult for their partners to be able to buy clothes for them. It’s just something to consider that even something as simple as throwing on a pair of jeans can take women a lot more effort.”
You can watch the full video here
@expatriarch ♬ original sound – Expatriarch
For some men, this information comes as a shock
Bored Panda got in touch with expatriarch and he was kind enough to answer some of our questions. We wanted to know if he has gotten interesting responses from men who had no idea. “That video I did all came about from a conversation with myself, my fiancée, and a close female friend talking about the struggle of finding clothes that fit. I mentioned I should make a video and I don’t think they thought I was serious. I think both because women are so used to it being such a problem that it’s just a thing that is, and not noteworthy, but also that it is something everyone knows. For a lot of men, we have no experience with this, as the majority of us can stick to our standard sizing and grab and go, often never even trying on clothes. I do, there were a number of men in my comments who had no idea this was the experience women go through (and a number of women who were shocked it was so simple for men). In particular, I had one comment from “puppychulo210” who said, “the way I rolled my eyes and assumed this was gonna be a reach but wow that’s p messed up”. I think a lot of men are overhearing about “patriarchy” and “sexism” so I’m grateful for those willing to keep an open mind, to listen, and to learn more about the lived experiences of women. I think it’s important to share these stories to help men who don’t live with women (and even those who do) understand their perspective and where these frustrations come from.”
We were curious to hear his thoughts on why women’s clothing was so poorly categorized. “To my understanding, standardized sizing for men came from simplifying ready-to-wear army uniforms based on chest size. It was tried for women based on bust size and there have been a number of voluntary sizing standards for women through the years but they have had limited success and adoption. I think a reason for that lack of adoption might be down to how men’s styles rarely change, allowing manufacturers to offer a wide variety of waist/inseam combinations for men. While fashion is faster-paced for women’s styles. Streamlining to limited options such as petite, regular, and tall (if there are even all three offered) might allow for faster design, development, and production of women’s clothing. Regardless of the reasons why, it’s a great example of how a seemingly innocent decision that isn’t influenced by sexism or the desire to discriminate, can end up being discriminatory. These sizing issues mean women have to put more time and effort into finding clothes that fit, the convenience of online shopping becomes less of a convenience, and a lot more time is invested in needing to go through the returns process. This then feeds into a negative sexist trope against women. They take so much longer to shop, which feeds into the idea women are more vain and materialistic. Rather than recognizing the very real systems, behaviors, and practices of the fashion industry to cause this problem and perpetuate it.”
He left us with some parting thoughts: “Just that this is a reminder that we should always question sexist and racist stereotypes and tropes. Asking ourselves why they might have come about and what we can do to recognize and dismantle our assumptions. As well as being open to learning about the lived experiences of others whenever we can.” You can find Brent’s channel here.
Brands tend to stock unrealistically small items and disregard the vast majority of women
The only silver lining of this wild inconsistency is that the age-old, quite loaded question of “What is your size?” has been effectively declawed, as a woman can effectively give any size under the sun and probably not be lying. The bizarre reality is that more than half of American women (67%) wear a US size 14 or larger, yet many stores barely stock items in this range, as Time reported. Vox did a test and found that Marilyn Monroe, who pretty handily conforms to most modern beauty standards, would have fit into a 4, 4/6, 6, or even an 8, depending on the item and brand.
As Expatriarch stated at the end of his video, this creates all sorts of headaches when it comes to purchasing women’s clothing. Online shopping is the ultimate guessing game and good luck to any partner trying to buy their significant other clothes. Some fashion brands have attempted weak excuses, arguing that larger women require more fabric, although this doesn’t exactly explain why most stores will not carry a product that fits the vast majority of customers. Even if we attempt to take this argument in good faith (which is a stretch) the simple solution would be to charge more. People need clothes that fit them and they will pay good money. Fashion and fast fashion in particular have no excuses for not making items their clients desire.
Other research into this trend has actually found that sizes have shrunk over the years, as the New York Times reported, a size 2 now could have been a size 8 roughly a decade ago. One study argues that in this way, fashion brands can hijack the beauty standards and social pressures that many women are subjected to. Women whose bodies fall near the margins of these sizes can access clothing that is ostensibly labeled as a size that society says is acceptable, which brings psychological and, presumably, social benefits. Of course, this can’t work if there is actual standardization, as everyone would have an objective frame of reference. Instead, fashion brands obfuscate, so nearly anyone can find something of a “desirable” size, at the cost of any consistency.
Online shopping might be the key to standardization
This practice has become so common that even brands all owned by the same parent company (H&M would be a prime example) make no effort to standardize sizes. In the UK, most women fall between size 14 and 17, yet 6 and 8 are the industry standard. A similar study discovered that across 17 UK clothing retailers, over half of female shoppers had difficulty finding clothes that actually fit. It’s hard to imagine another business that can thrive, let alone survive while excluding a significant part of the population just to maintain a certain image. Exclusivity has some brand value, but it’s hard to argue that H&M or Zare is in any way, shape, or form “exclusive.”
The result is that people interested in shopping for women’s clothes have to go to greater and greater lengths just to find something that works. As online shopping becomes more and more established, customers may be less interested in going through the rigmarole of trying on item after item. Perhaps it’s not the best solution, but consumer buying habits could ultimately be what pushes retailers to create a more comprehensive system. There are already third-party sites and tools to help women understand what a piece of clothing might look like and compare to other sizes. In some cases, women have fully switched to purchasing men’s clothing, although this really won’t work in many cases. But the bottom line is that women have to fight an uphill battle every time they want a new pair of pants.
Readers shared surprise and other details in the comments
"Man reveals..." as if women haven't made this type of post a thousand times before. Guess some folks have to hear it from a bloke before they believe.
Sadly, it's not real to men until another man points it out.
Load More Replies...Not just pants, I have blouses sized from S to XXXXL and the measurements are exactly the same.
It's the truth. I got a t-shirt from my company lately: I ordered it XL, and the thing that came was labeled XL but I would have called it an XS.... It's absurd.
Load More Replies...That's one of the main reasons l hate shopping for clothes so much. Shoes sizes are consistent, why clothes sizes can't? I range from a Spanish 36 to a 46 (S to XL approx)
Pants are already bad, but the most infuriating thing for me to buy are bras. I have one single really good bra which is not allowed to break. Ever. I'll probably be buried in it one day.
Mine broke the other day. It was horrific. Terrifying. I clutched it and tried to pin it but there was nothing to be done. I actually walked into the store and asked the clerk for one exactly like it and she said they don't make it anymore. That it wasn't popular. My boobs will never be the same. (And as funny as this sounds, I am pathetically speaking truth)
Load More Replies...Unfortunately this is why a lot of ladies(not being sexist) are always dieting, and you can guarantee that when you find that perfect pair of jeans/trousers or dress/skirt, the shop that you got it from no longer produces them anymore, and so the frustrating search begins again. This is why I went to gents trousers, you know that you are getting the right waist size, plus you have the added bonus of decent pockets.
That's the main reason why I started to buy from Shein although I don't like who and what they are. But somehow they managed to size their products properly! I know my Shein size and it always fits perfectly. I didn't have to give back one single item. Everything is exactly as advertised. Why can't other, usually much more expensive labels just use proper measurements? They claim to be better than Shein, but in fact they're not.
this! so much this! for moral reaseon i try to avoid shein-shopping, but onece or twice per year i order some jeans and bikinis - because they are pretty and they fit!!
Load More Replies...Okay. I'm probably not going to win any popularity points here, but let me say this: Not a single heterosexual man cares about the size of their wife/girlfriend's clothes. I don't even know what size I have, let alone that I give a fūck about what size my wife is. She's sexy AF whatever she wears and how much she weighs. I actually don't even know her weight. Never cared either way. I don't know who these men are who criticize women for their weight. I know for sure that no women's clothes were ever designed by heterosexual men. That's not a jab at gay men, just that -maybe- their idea of beauty is a bit colored by their sexual preference.
That's wonderful of you to not care about her size but the point is that it makes it very difficult for women to shop because there is NO CONTINUITY in women's clothing. And it's poorly made compared to men's.
Load More Replies...I would argue mens jeans are also not consistent, I brought 2 pairs of Levis 501's, same cut, same size... But one fit, the other didn't... ordered at the same time direct from Levis.. and I find the same no matter where I go, trousers are inconsistent, it isn't just about the waist size
Yea. The only change I'd say to this guy is that men's jeans aren't consistent either. Don't get me wrong, women's sizes are ridiculous, but the guy said men's sizes are consistent, but there is a reason I have to try on every single pair of pants I want to get, even if just getting a different color of the same pants. I wish clothing for everyone was more consistent and accurate, but there isn't really any standardization.
Load More Replies...Also - even in the same size from the same manufacturer, model, line, color, everything, size can differ because they cut multiple at the same time. Top of the stack can be vastly different from the bottom of the stack. Learned that little tidbit from my wife. No wonder she hates clothes shopping.
Kudos to the man that notices thinks like this and understands the craziness of it
THIS is why we HAVE to try everything on and why I refuse to buy any clothes online
I’m very sender (folks say “scrawny” 😕) and can’t find clothes for adults that fit me in the US so I get i.e., from China. *Those* are consistent (they use”P/S/M/L”), so I ça order something and now it’ll fit. I don’t understand why, though, in the US I’m only to buy clothes for kids. They’re covered in rainbows, butterflies, and unicorns. (Yes, I understand there are adults who would think that’s great, but I’m not one of ‘em.) You’d think SOMEONE would make clothes for us! Instead, my clothing budget goes to China. 🤬
I think this is just a clothes thing, nothing to do with sexism. I have two shirts, from the same brand, I bought in the same store on the same day, in the same size. Only one of them fits me.
I am currently wearing jeans that are too big in my waist and too long for my legs, but fit my thighs perfectly.... At least they have real pockets.
The problem is real but this is not "sexism". It is a combination of things. These days the clothing market is international. "Large" to a Filipino / made in PI is not the same as large to an American. (been there done that even in men's clothing). The 4/27 is misses size 4 or women's size 27 and means a waist size of 27.5” - 28.5”. Then there is vanity sizing - which typically means labeled smaller than it is for jeans and larger than it is for bras. There is style. Even in men's jeans, a particular size of "relaxed fit" jean will fit me when I would need a larger size in a tight fit. And of course different countries use different sizing systems. Women's clothing sizes are more of an obstacle course than men's clothing but none of that is 'sexist.
That’s an explanation of today, though it’s wrong. Please explain then how it could’ve been an issue appropriately 50 years ago when I was in my teens, and encountering the same s**t.
Load More Replies...Out of all my jeans, some are a size 0, some a 00, some are 1, some a 2, one a 10, and some an 8. The rest are all smalls, mediums, or larges. They all fit exactly the same.
MatPat has a great video on women's clothing sizes under his Style Theory channel: https://youtu.be/IlTp6wRkXuY
its the same with mens clothes as well i had 2 pairs of jeans waist size 42 i hadnt worn for while as i gained weight i lost a lot of weight one fit me but the other didnt until i lost even more weight
Can someone please explain how the "patriarchy" is responsible for this?
Don't hold your breath waiting for that explanation. (Probably best to just obediently agree and move on to a different subject.)
Load More Replies...He should shut up. We’ve known this for years and there’s nothing sexist about it. Women’s clothing is not sized in inches like men's, so yeah, there is some licence there and we expect discrepancies. We use change rooms to try on, or we can exchange something that doesn’t fit. Problem solved.
Was going to say, mens clothing has is getting just as bad (waists in an actual measurement is one of the last ones you can at least have a vague idea of) especially t-shirts. You can buy 5 t-shirts from a shop, and when you actually compare them they are all entirely different sizings.
Load More Replies..."Man reveals..." as if women haven't made this type of post a thousand times before. Guess some folks have to hear it from a bloke before they believe.
Sadly, it's not real to men until another man points it out.
Load More Replies...Not just pants, I have blouses sized from S to XXXXL and the measurements are exactly the same.
It's the truth. I got a t-shirt from my company lately: I ordered it XL, and the thing that came was labeled XL but I would have called it an XS.... It's absurd.
Load More Replies...That's one of the main reasons l hate shopping for clothes so much. Shoes sizes are consistent, why clothes sizes can't? I range from a Spanish 36 to a 46 (S to XL approx)
Pants are already bad, but the most infuriating thing for me to buy are bras. I have one single really good bra which is not allowed to break. Ever. I'll probably be buried in it one day.
Mine broke the other day. It was horrific. Terrifying. I clutched it and tried to pin it but there was nothing to be done. I actually walked into the store and asked the clerk for one exactly like it and she said they don't make it anymore. That it wasn't popular. My boobs will never be the same. (And as funny as this sounds, I am pathetically speaking truth)
Load More Replies...Unfortunately this is why a lot of ladies(not being sexist) are always dieting, and you can guarantee that when you find that perfect pair of jeans/trousers or dress/skirt, the shop that you got it from no longer produces them anymore, and so the frustrating search begins again. This is why I went to gents trousers, you know that you are getting the right waist size, plus you have the added bonus of decent pockets.
That's the main reason why I started to buy from Shein although I don't like who and what they are. But somehow they managed to size their products properly! I know my Shein size and it always fits perfectly. I didn't have to give back one single item. Everything is exactly as advertised. Why can't other, usually much more expensive labels just use proper measurements? They claim to be better than Shein, but in fact they're not.
this! so much this! for moral reaseon i try to avoid shein-shopping, but onece or twice per year i order some jeans and bikinis - because they are pretty and they fit!!
Load More Replies...Okay. I'm probably not going to win any popularity points here, but let me say this: Not a single heterosexual man cares about the size of their wife/girlfriend's clothes. I don't even know what size I have, let alone that I give a fūck about what size my wife is. She's sexy AF whatever she wears and how much she weighs. I actually don't even know her weight. Never cared either way. I don't know who these men are who criticize women for their weight. I know for sure that no women's clothes were ever designed by heterosexual men. That's not a jab at gay men, just that -maybe- their idea of beauty is a bit colored by their sexual preference.
That's wonderful of you to not care about her size but the point is that it makes it very difficult for women to shop because there is NO CONTINUITY in women's clothing. And it's poorly made compared to men's.
Load More Replies...I would argue mens jeans are also not consistent, I brought 2 pairs of Levis 501's, same cut, same size... But one fit, the other didn't... ordered at the same time direct from Levis.. and I find the same no matter where I go, trousers are inconsistent, it isn't just about the waist size
Yea. The only change I'd say to this guy is that men's jeans aren't consistent either. Don't get me wrong, women's sizes are ridiculous, but the guy said men's sizes are consistent, but there is a reason I have to try on every single pair of pants I want to get, even if just getting a different color of the same pants. I wish clothing for everyone was more consistent and accurate, but there isn't really any standardization.
Load More Replies...Also - even in the same size from the same manufacturer, model, line, color, everything, size can differ because they cut multiple at the same time. Top of the stack can be vastly different from the bottom of the stack. Learned that little tidbit from my wife. No wonder she hates clothes shopping.
Kudos to the man that notices thinks like this and understands the craziness of it
THIS is why we HAVE to try everything on and why I refuse to buy any clothes online
I’m very sender (folks say “scrawny” 😕) and can’t find clothes for adults that fit me in the US so I get i.e., from China. *Those* are consistent (they use”P/S/M/L”), so I ça order something and now it’ll fit. I don’t understand why, though, in the US I’m only to buy clothes for kids. They’re covered in rainbows, butterflies, and unicorns. (Yes, I understand there are adults who would think that’s great, but I’m not one of ‘em.) You’d think SOMEONE would make clothes for us! Instead, my clothing budget goes to China. 🤬
I think this is just a clothes thing, nothing to do with sexism. I have two shirts, from the same brand, I bought in the same store on the same day, in the same size. Only one of them fits me.
I am currently wearing jeans that are too big in my waist and too long for my legs, but fit my thighs perfectly.... At least they have real pockets.
The problem is real but this is not "sexism". It is a combination of things. These days the clothing market is international. "Large" to a Filipino / made in PI is not the same as large to an American. (been there done that even in men's clothing). The 4/27 is misses size 4 or women's size 27 and means a waist size of 27.5” - 28.5”. Then there is vanity sizing - which typically means labeled smaller than it is for jeans and larger than it is for bras. There is style. Even in men's jeans, a particular size of "relaxed fit" jean will fit me when I would need a larger size in a tight fit. And of course different countries use different sizing systems. Women's clothing sizes are more of an obstacle course than men's clothing but none of that is 'sexist.
That’s an explanation of today, though it’s wrong. Please explain then how it could’ve been an issue appropriately 50 years ago when I was in my teens, and encountering the same s**t.
Load More Replies...Out of all my jeans, some are a size 0, some a 00, some are 1, some a 2, one a 10, and some an 8. The rest are all smalls, mediums, or larges. They all fit exactly the same.
MatPat has a great video on women's clothing sizes under his Style Theory channel: https://youtu.be/IlTp6wRkXuY
its the same with mens clothes as well i had 2 pairs of jeans waist size 42 i hadnt worn for while as i gained weight i lost a lot of weight one fit me but the other didnt until i lost even more weight
Can someone please explain how the "patriarchy" is responsible for this?
Don't hold your breath waiting for that explanation. (Probably best to just obediently agree and move on to a different subject.)
Load More Replies...He should shut up. We’ve known this for years and there’s nothing sexist about it. Women’s clothing is not sized in inches like men's, so yeah, there is some licence there and we expect discrepancies. We use change rooms to try on, or we can exchange something that doesn’t fit. Problem solved.
Was going to say, mens clothing has is getting just as bad (waists in an actual measurement is one of the last ones you can at least have a vague idea of) especially t-shirts. You can buy 5 t-shirts from a shop, and when you actually compare them they are all entirely different sizings.
Load More Replies...
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