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Swear words and insults are an inescapable part of life. In fact, it’s hard to imagine humanity ever becoming so peaceful and kind that nobody would ever have anything bad to say about anyone else. There’s always going to be friction. Different perspectives, values, and agendas are always going to clash.
But for some people, simple and direct insults, though powerful, can get pretty mundane. User u/CoatedTrout4 recently inspired the r/AskReddit community to share their favorite subtle and creative insults that are beyond devastating. We’ve collected some of their most imaginative ones to share with you. Scroll down to check them out! Though, keep in mind, insulting someone 'for fun' is a great way to lose friends—it's not something to be played around with.

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#1

Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries...

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Bored Panda got in touch with licensed professional counselor Rodney Luster, Ph.D., for his thoughts on why some people go for subtle insults. He also shared his advice on how we can all be more emotionally resilient, no matter the criticism that we face. Dr. Luster is the host of the 'More Than a Feeling' blog on Psychology Today and the founder of 'Inspirethought.'

"How and why people choose things is sometimes motivated by deeper, unconscious elements," Dr. Luster told Bored Panda via email.

“In a case where people interweave a criticism, it could be because of the Shadow Self. As Jung suggested, the ‘dark’ aspect of ourselves that is part of our unconscious is acting out, so we attempt to disown the ‘shadow’ in us by criticizing others,” he said.

"For those that do it less conspicuously, it might also be a passive way to tell someone how they really feel about them, disguising it in hidden language."
#2

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place (After a tirade or rude remark) "Are you okay", spoken with the deepest sincerity.

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#3

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place You're difficult to underestimate.

maplenut , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:
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We asked Dr. Luster about becoming more resilient to any criticism thrown our way. He suggested a few things that we can do when we face criticism.

“Try to be aware of your defensiveness creeping up and attempt to remove your own connection by looking more closely at the underlying emotions and motives of the critic,” he told Bored Panda.
#4

When I was living I the UK I learned my favourite, most polite roast, of all times:

"You are so brave to say that".

I love British sarcasm.

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#5

Working with you is like working by myself, but harder.

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#6

The best line I heard was in a gym car park. A martial arts instructor was reversing his car and was nearly upended by a mid-40s feral in lycra on her P plates. She was looking for an argument and chose a soft target - country of origin based on appearance and skin colour. She fired off all insults based around the subject of "go back to where you came from".

The guy, who I perceived to be much older, said, "In my country, abortion is illegal. But with you, we can make an exception.".

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Final score:
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Dr. Luster added that we can also 'scrub' the words. "Look beneath the critical words for the productive element if there is one."

You can also reframe the criticism. "We get to choose how to contextually situate this in our brain," he said.

"I like to use the following analogy: You can choose to see your house in a few ways. You can go outside and stand in front of it, or you can look at it from Google Maps. Both are true versions, but you choose the one that you would rather see. Same thing here: choose the best picture of what you heard and see it for any opportunity that helps or not."
#7

Wisdom has been chasing you but you have always been faster.

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#8

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place Had this rude girl at work a few years back, who thought she was so hot and perfect and.. well you know the type. Anyway, one day I got sick of her attitude and said, “ Kendra, what’s it like being like the third hottest girl here?”

Drove her mad.

kkerins86 , Vlada Karpovich Report

Final score:
140points
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#9

Your grades say marry rich, but your face says study harder.

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138points
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There’s definitely a time and a place for swear words and insults. Swearing can relieve or distract us from pain, relieve stress, and even showcase linguistic creativity. However, you should not go around insulting everyone around you all day long just because you enjoy the rush. You’ll soon find that you no longer have any friends left!

However, a well-placed verbal jab or some witty banter can add color to everyone’s life. Especially if the other person has a good sense of humor and a dash of self-awareness to be able to laugh at themselves, too. Maybe they can appreciate how playful and intelligent your insult was. Of course, this only applies to situations where the person throwing around the insults isn’t completely mean-spirited.
#10

I don't.respect you enough for you to hurt my feelings.

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#11

I had a really self-obsessed grade 12 student start bragging about how good looking he was, trying to get some girls’ attention. He said “people always tell me I look like a model.” I was at my desk marking, while the students were *supposed to be* working and, without even looking up I piped in with “Yah, a hand model.” His friends roared with laughter and I got many high fives. Even from the “model” kid.

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#12

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place > “You’re not making the point you think you are.”.

garrettj100 , William Fortunato Report

Final score:
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Unfortunately, there will always be people who put others down to boost their own egos. They might have problems with self-esteem or self-image. But instead of working through their problems, they lash out at the world. Some folks become outright bullies. Others embrace passive aggression.

Robert N. Kraft, Ph.D., a professor of cognitive psychology at Otterbein University, argues that it’s not actually direct insults that do us the most harm. As it turns out, we’re most unsettled by casual put-downs because they catch us off guard.

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According to the professor, subtle criticisms can be hidden or implied, take on the guise of a false compliment, or even masquerade as someone pretending to be concerned.
#13

“Have the day you deserve!”.

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#14

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place “You two look gorgeous” in the comments section of a social media post of a picture with 3 women in it.

Witherboss445 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
108points
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#15

I work at a grocery store that has a "senior day" once a month (they receive 10% off their entire order, includng alcohol and tobacco). I had a very rude young lady in my lane (probably late 30s). I added the senior discount, she saw it, and I said "I'm not quite sure if you qualify for the senior discount, but I gave it to you just in case. That's 10% off your purchase
Have a nice day!" The look on her face was priceless. 😉.

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However, subtle insults aren’t all-powerful. A lot depends on how you react to them. Or, to put it another way: is an insult still an insult if the person being insulted doesn’t feel insulted?

Professor Kraft urges people to first of all identify the hidden or implied insults. You can then directly confront the other person with a simple question and brief conversation. Or you move past the put-down by throwing out a general reply.

Alternatively, you could always downplay the put-down. For instance, you can acknowledge the insult and then either disagree with it or amplify it. If you throw some verbal playfulness into the mix, you can show that you’re not bothered.
#16

You seem like the kind of guy who would be embarrassed to buy tampons for his girlfriend.

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#17

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place "Ah, so this is what everyone meant.".

mrlotato , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:
102points
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#18

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place Five years ago, I met up with a friend. I asked her how my eyebrows were ( I had just waxed them and done them nicely). Her response: "I like the left one."

Still remember that.

KMermaid19 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
97points
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At the end of the day, though, it’s up to each of us to decide who we spend time with. If we’re constantly dealing with a barrage of snarky remarks, maybe it’s time to focus on better friends.

What's the most subtle but powerful insult you've ever heard, Pandas? Which of the put-downs in this post would you ever use in real life and why? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.
#19

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place I'm close to my sister and her friends. I've unironically heard, "I like how you'll just wear anything" after they spent the past hour getting ready.

GrammastolaRosea , Zen Chung Report

Final score:
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#20

Never underestimate the power of okay:

“You’re ugly” okay
“You’re stupid” okay
“You’ll never be cool” okay

Stops them in their tracks and makes them look weird as hell for saying it in the first place.

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Final score:
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#21

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place Man, I wish I had your confidence.

Also, one I always remember from xkcd: “the only thing standing in the way of your dreams is that the person having them is you.”.

zenspeed , Keira Burton Report

Final score:
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#22

To someone who's yelling at you "Oh wow, big feelings!!".

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#23

I think you are talking about things that you don’t have the capacity to understand.

It went right over his head.

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Final score:
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#24

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place Couldn't say it better than Ron Swanson
"When people get a little too chummy with me I like to call them by the wrong name to let them know I don’t really care about them.".

wh4tdoyoukn0w , SHVETS production Report

Final score:
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#25

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place Man, you're making that look real difficult.

TypeGreen51 , William Fortunato Report

Final score:
80points
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#26

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place “Everyone was right about you.”.

RiflemanLax , Liza Summer Report

Final score:
79points
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#27

I heard a kid say this before:
"You know I bet you eat your cereal with water, 'cause your dad never came back with the milk."

Kinda basic but it hit the other guy hard.

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Final score:
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#28

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place After knowing you all these years, I truly consider you an acquaintance.

madameporcupine , Edmond Dantès Report

Final score:
70points
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#29

You have not been cursed with knowledge.

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Final score:
67points
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#30

You might be smart enough to be a bimbo, but the looks just don't qualify.

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Final score:
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#31

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place I’ve always liked, “you’re at the top of the bell curve.” .

Reinmaker , fauxels Report

Final score:
60points
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#32

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place My days of not respecting you certainly are coming to a middle.

fubes2000 , Wolrider YURTSEVEN Report

Final score:
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#33

As a woman, you have to be very careful when you use this one, but anything “oh wow are you trying something new with your makeup? (Or hair or insert something) Oh no it doesn’t look bad- it’s just interesting.” Did that to a girl who was bullying a friend of mine, she immediately shut up and seemed self conscious.

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Final score:
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#34

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place “You look tired.”.

dumbinternetstuff , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:
43points
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#35

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place First of all, clean your teeth.

Howitzer1967 , Kindel Media Report

Final score:
41points
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#36

You are not the person Mr. Rogers knew you could be.

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Final score:
28points
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#37

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place “He’s unburdened by the complications of a university education.”

Stolen from What We Do In The Shadows.

mandiller , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:
28points
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#38

I love the way you don't care what anybody thinks.

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Final score:
25points
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#39

If you met youself you would regret every minute of the experience.

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Final score:
25points
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#40

Ever been hit by the Gen Z special? “I love that for you!” Said with all the fake enthusiasm you can muster. Gut shot, every time.

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Final score:
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#41

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place My brother told me that i looked easy to draw and i was too stunned to even say anything lmao.

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Final score:
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#42

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place I have a beard that takes a bit to fully grow in. When I trim it down, it looks neater but for the first day or so it has spots that aren't as full as others. I went to a wedding for my wife's friend and one girl there said to me "I like your little beard or whatever that is" and it destroyed me. This was 5+ years ago and it still bothers me and affects my shaving routine.

Suddenly_Something , Apostolos Vamvouras Report

Final score:
19points
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#43

“Are you going to have *another* bad attitude today?”.

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Final score:
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#44

It looks like somebody has a case of the Mondays.

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Final score:
18points
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#45

Walk away without a response.

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Final score:
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#46

My granddaughter asked me what I wore to bed in the 1900s. I was 49.

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Final score:
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#47

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place Wow, is that your real laugh?

Perfect_Zone_4919 , Kindel Media Report

Final score:
16points
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#48

“You look like you have a dirty microwave”.

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Final score:
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#49

You look itchy.

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Final score:
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#50

I'll say one that destroyed me. Overhead someone tell my ex girlfriend "you could do better." In reference to me.

She eventually cheated on me btw.

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Final score:
14points
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#51

Is that what you are wearing?

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Final score:
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#52

You’re trying too hard.

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Final score:
12points
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#53

Why is it no one likes you ?

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Final score:
11points
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#54

"Why can't I meet someone like you?".

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Final score:
10points
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#55

What’s the matter with your hair today?

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Final score:
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#56

Any insult said by a little kid.

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#57

Boomer at work hit me with, “Damn, I bet your father wishes he had a son.” With the “let me show you how it’s done before you hurt yourself” kind of disapproving head shake and hand gesture.

Said while I was clearly lacking the strength to complete a basic mechanical task in front of a group of coworkers.


Ouch.

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Final score:
7points
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#58

My niece jiggled my belly and then called me fat lmao.

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Final score:
5points
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#59

35 Epic Comebacks That Immediately Put Jerks In Their Place I just cooked dinner for my wife, she casually remarked after eating ‘shame the restaurant was closed today’.

deadfish974 , Anastasia Shuraeva Report

Final score:
2points
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