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Sometimes, the line between life and death is so thin, luck is people’s only friend survival-wise. It doesn’t really help if said person also tends to make poor choices in life, but there is also a point where people start thinking they just naturally draw misfortune, but I digress.
And, sometimes, people share these stories in a viral Reddit thread asking people to share the stupidest ways they almost kicked the bucket, whether it’s stupid because of their own choices, or stupid because the circumstances and the chain of events were caused by stupidity.
Speaking of which, there’s a Reddit thread where people are sharing stories of how they almost died, all thanks to varying degrees of stupidity. It got 41,200 upvotes and people’s engagement went over 18,500 comments.
Bored Panda collected the best stories and responses and made a curated list for y’all, so scroll down and enjoy. Oh, and don’t forget to comment and all that jazz.
More Info: Reddit
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#1
Went to go visit a friend in Gloucester Mass in winter back in high school far from my home. I was planning on staying overnight at their house but their mother who I now know has mental health problems wouldn’t even let me in the house because the father "wasn’t home" working a night shift. Friend said sorry bro and closed the door. Almost froze to death waiting outside in 10 degree F at night. A cab driver saw me slumped on a bench and woke me up. Let me get warm and drive around in the passenger seat while he picked up drunk people out on the town all night. When he finished his shift he dropped me off at the train station and handed me 7 bucks for the fare. Dude probably saved my life and I can’t even remember his name.
RELATED:
#2
I walked into a back room freezer of a grocery store. The huge door was designed to close automatically. I knew this and went in and did what I was there to do. After 30 seconds, I couldn’t catch my breath. I thought maybe I was just working to hard so I stopped and took several huge breaths, nothing. I felt like I was drowning out of water. I had to move as quickly as I could back outside of the freezer and feel to my knees gasping when I got out. It was only afterwards I realized for some dumb reason someone kept open dry ice in a cart inside of the freezer.
Dry ice removes oxygen out of the air in enclosed spaces. I almost died from lack of oxygen and would have been an icicle when they found me.
Don’t f**k with dry ice.
Kit Warren 2 years ago
At first, I was thinking that the freezer was airtight for some strange reason
#3
Being sleepy on the road. Don't. Find a spot and sleep a bit.
Seriously, it happened to me twice. You think you won't fall asleep, but you will.
Claire Stanfield 2 years ago
I have blacked out while driving tired before. Don't do it. You seriously may not remember falling asleep, it's terrifying.
#4
Went to Grand Canyon and tried to be funny and acted like I was gonna slip,[it was snowing], and ended up almost really slipping and falling. Some random guy scolded me like a little kid because he got more scared than me.
Abdul Rahman Falih 2 years ago
bruh once I saw a woman sitting on the edge of a cliff, like a bruh I was scared AF, how can people be that riskyyyy??
#5
Waited too long to go to the hospital (pre-Covid) I thought I just had a cold. Husband said, go to the doctor. I said no. Three days later, still not great. Husband said, go to urgent care. I said I will if I don't feel better tomorrow. Next day, I tell husband, I need to go to the ER. A collapsed lung due to pneumonia.Three days in hospital plus breathing issues for the next year. Moral: Listen to your spouse. And yeah, got a whole lot of "I told you so"s. Deserved every one of them.
Who Panda 420 2 years ago (edited)
I know sometimes I don't want to go for help because I'm afraid of how they might react. There's been times I went in for a massive migraine I had for 3 days it was making me throw up in the emergency room doctor made me feel like crap. He said I have an emergency coming in from an automobile crash and you want me to pay attention to your migraine? It sucks I've had a couple stories like that so I tend to not want to go for help when I might really need it. That doctor didn't do anything for me and eventually the headache got better but it could have been a brain aneurysm or anything.
#6
I snorkelled too far out into the ocean, and it wasn't because it was a riptide, I just got distracted by pretty fish
#7
Stuck my head out the car window bc I wanted to see why dogs loved it. My grandpa didnt notice, rolled up the window, and I choked. He freaked out when he heard the cat like noises (ironic) I was making while my neck was trying to squeeze through the small opening of the window, but kept raising the window in his panic. Eventually he got it and I was left with a red mark on my neck and no closer to understanding dogs.
My grandpa passed earlier this year so its a nice way to remember him and I know he' get a chuckle to know people found it funny.
it was meant to be funny so dont feel bad for laughing. My lil sis was in the seat next to me when this happened and she was laughing too, funny then, funny now.
Abdul Rahman Falih 2 years ago
OMG this happened way back in 2011 to me, I came from a picnic with my friend rolled up to say goodbye to them from the car, AND GOSH I thought I would be dead as my father started rolling up the window, FREKIN choking, thank god I'm still alive
#8
I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I was getting off the school bus and was walking around to the other side to my driveway. Suddenly the bus driver hits the horn, scared the hell out of me and I stopped at the edge of the front of a bus and a dump truck good speeding around. I dunno if the dump truck driver didn't see the lights of the bus or whatever but that driver made a dumb mistake that could have cost me my life. Thinking about it my older sister was up at our driveway waiting for me, probably would have messed her up for life
After that the school district changed bus routes to avoid students having to cross the road to get on or off the bus
Kit Warren 2 years ago
Glad the bus driver was paying attention to the traffic! And hopefully reported the dump truck!!
#9
I almost drowned in the sea as a kid. A current pushed me away from the shore. Lifeguards saved me and were slapping my face. I thought it was a punishment but they were resuscitating me.
#10
I commented on a controversial post on reddit
Abdul Rahman Falih 2 years ago
we've been there done that, PS who agrees this should be higher?
#11
Started hiccuping with peanut butter in my mouth. Peanut butter went down the wrong tube, I started choking, but couldn’t cough bc these hiccups wouldn’t f**king stop. Finally leaned over and managed to cough it out, but it was a close call
#12
While drunk, I sat down outside...to rest for a moment...on a freezing cold Winter's night. Fortunately, a passerby noticed me and encouraged me to get inside. I figure I was probably there dozing for several minutes.
#13
Taking apart a dryer completely to clean it out and get it running smoothly again, dropped a screwdriver onto an exposed wire… huge arc and zap sound. I had left it plugged in (up until I realized the incredibly smooth-brained move I had pulled)
#14
Smoked cigarettes for 23 years. Had a heart attack at 39. Pretty f**kin' stupid if you ask me.
D20 Games 2 years ago
I started smoking cigarettes at 16 to cover up the smell of the pot I was also smoking. I didn't want my parents to find out about the pot. I didn't care about the cigarettes. I had a close friend who smoked. I could pass the smell off as being near him. I still smoke cigarettes, don't smoke pot anymore. I've tried a couple times to quit, but then some douchebag at work, or in public in general does something beyond my tolerance level. Cigarettes are cheaper than murder.
#15
I'm Italian but have been living in the UK for two years
Guess who looked at the wrong side of the road while a Bus was coming trough?
Everytime I went back to Italy I risked my life for the same reason by getting used to drive to the left and viceversa
#16
Swam under a shipyard pier at night (solid concrete above me) and lost my sense of direction. Got lucky and found my way out.
To add more detail - A friend and I were "assault swimmers" attacking a ship for a training exercise at night. We would swim from pier pylon to pylon underwater. Take a breath, go under, push off, and swim ~20' to the next pylon, surface and repeat. My mask broke and I was doing it with my eyes closed due to having contacts at the time. One time I just kept swimming and felt like I missed the pylon. When I went to slowly broach the surface I found myself under the concrete above. I had no idea the pier was even built like that. Put my hands up and oriented myself. It looked dark in all directions but my gut told me to the right is where I came from. After that, I stayed on the surface! Cheers!
#17
I stuck my head in a random beaker to sniff something in chem lab, I have been very good about wafting since
#18
Came very close (about two inches) to backing into a warehouse rack full of two ton coils of sheet metal when I didn't realise that my forklift was in reverse.
#19
Literally today, getting undressed to shower and as my pants fell to my ankles I went to step out of them and tripped, almost walloped my head on the sink
Sheyanne Valiante 2 years ago
When I was little I was flipping my hair over to wrap it in an towel and bashed my forehead on the sink
#20
Unplugging the washing machine with wet hands. My hand slipped onto the prongs while they were still partially in the outlet, and I think my heart stopped for a second before I yanked the plug free. Definitely do not recommend.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
I was removing a dishwasher at the grandparents house when they were about to move in with my folks, had flipped the labeled breaker, and was trying to be careful of wires, but it's a dishwasher so there was water. Figured out I had not managed to turn off the power correctly when the whole right side of my body went tense and tingly. After that, we shut off power to the whole house until the job was done.
#21
Drove on an interstate during a hurricane and watched all the cars around me get submerged
Gladys Hayes Southerland 2 years ago
Dumb like me... Drove home thru a major storm, going "Wow! Why's it so dark at 2.30? Look at that tree that fell on that roof... One tree on top of that car... Those signs rolling down the street... Another tree & roof combo. No street or traffic lights working." When l got home, turned on the news, it was a 🌪️that came thru just minutes before me.
#22
Grown adult and choked on mozzarella cheese. Was only alone for 20 minutes. Can't imagine the obituary
#23
Fell through the ice. The great lakes freeze partially in the winter. Far out there was an ice ridge, and on the other side was this clear glassy ice as far out as I could see. I climbed over the ridge to take a leak in privacy, but it wasn't solid. Went through. Wife had to put down our first infant son to fish me out.
Joi Cain 2 years ago
I thought this would've been a kid. No. A grown a** man. Married. With a child. SMH.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Yeah, at least when I fell through the ice I was a preteen listening to my stupid skinny friend tell me it was solid enough. It was definitely not the smartest thing I have done though.
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Jo Frey 2 years ago
Hmmm. Judgmental people need to realize that The Great Lakes freezing is well known, and that people have been walking on them for centuries. People make mistakes, but this isn't a case of his walking on ice that isn't usually solid. This is a case of his misinterpreting where the ice *wasn't* solid.
Cold Contagious 2 years ago
I completely understand what you're saying and agree with you. From what he's saying in the story, it doesn't seem like he went very far at all and it was suddenly unsafe. I don't have experience with a large frozen lake like this but I can understand how that could happen. Thanks for the input, I do hope it counters some of the judgemental opinions.
Load More Replies...
SilentBob731 2 years ago
First though I had "Well, that seemed like an overreaction". ;-)
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Pezor Zass 2 years ago
did this while walking the dog when i was a kid. Not great lakes, though. unfamiliar with the area, walked out onto a pond that i didn't realize was a pond, fell through. dog was smart enough to stay away, so she was fine. i had to walk back to where we were staying soaked to the bone in a freezing wind. Not fun, would not recommend.
#24
I was very small (probably around 5) and when my mum wasn’t looking I tied some clothes around my neck and hooked it to the stair railings, then tried to jump off the railings to see if they would hold me. Fortunately I was too small to climb over the railings and my mum found me before I would’ve jumped.
Abdul Rahman Falih 2 years ago
bruh if he died what would the cops think, do u think they would believe the mother?
#25
Yelling at someone in the hood, they tried to run me over with their car and then got out and chased me
LaToya Mack 2 years ago
I don’t know if it’s Covid but you should just assume everyone is having a bad day and they are all armed.
#26
Choked on a small potato at the Pizza Hut salad bar. Completely lodged in my throat. I raced to the loo and shoved my fingers down my throat, and it popped out. Walked back to my table and finished my salad. I was with my boyfriend. He did nothing. I grabbed the waitress’s arm. All she did was say “is she okay?” to my boyfriend. Hence running to the loo to deal with it myself!!
#27
Choked on a life saver
No the hole In the center is not for breathing. Life Savers have holes in them because the inventor, Clarence Crace wanted to create a unique candy. Back in 1912 (109 years ago)
Bernadette Macias 2 years ago
Only 18 pieces in a Lifesaver Storybook?! That's a paragraph, not a story. They originally contained 10 full rolls, each roll a different variety, 10 pieces per roll.
#28
Choked on a hamburger in 8th grade beside my old friend who was too busy flirting until someone else saved me
#29
Almost got my head squashed by a car due to a small pebble making me fall on the main road
#30
I let my anger get the best of me and DID NOT hold the piece of wood against the mitre saw wall. (For those that don't know if you don't do that it will without fail take the wood and catch it on one of the blade parts sending you into it with the wood)
#31
Climbed into one of those power supply units, that supply power to the whole road, whilst retrieving a ball.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Friend of the family managed to grab a high voltage line while trimming a tree, fortunately hitting the ground apparently restarted his heart. I would say he's fine several decades later but I have heard him pun before he was even awake enough to open his eyes, so the jury is still out.
What do you think ?
Kandi Heiple 2 years ago
I already said it up there but if you choke do NOT run into the bathroom. People who choke to death are often found in bathrooms because their instinct was to run to the bathroom and deal with it themselves. Stand up and try to indicate whats happening so somebody can perform the Heimlich on you!
Red Ruffensor 2 years ago
I choked on a piece of steak, good thing thing my wife Heimliched me. She still seems to think I owe her something.
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 2 years ago
I almost got my face blasted off today by a bunch of boys playing cricket. They threw the ball so hard that I could hear the air being pushed as the ball missed me by a few millimetres
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
My dad cracked it at a group of boys when he was dropping me off at school once and I was really embarrassed until I realised it was because they had thrown a ball and it hit his head, almost directly on his temple.
Load More Replies...
GenericPanda09 2 years ago
Think I came pretty close this morning when I woke up, slapped my missus' a**e, and said 'good morning...now get up and serve me some breakfast wench'.
SandyB 2 years ago
My close call... I slipped and fell on a Friday leaving work, tearing my quadricep. Went home on crutches to put my leg up for a few days. On Sunday I had a "shortness of breath" issue that I blamed on the pain meds. Felt worse every day, finally passing out Wednesday. Went to the ER with pulmonary embolisms and spent 8 days in the hospital. Who knew?
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Hrm. As I have said before, I have more than one bonehead thing I have done that could have ended badly but didn't. I think probably the worst though was when I was driving a (fully loaded) city bus when I noticed that the power steering was not working as well. Called it in and was told to keep driving, which was, in retrospect, stupid and I should have refused (I could have). Oh, and the important detail: this was a commuter route, and while this happened on surface streets I was a few blocks from getting on the interstate. It ended up dumping enough fluid for the power steering to fail catastrophically right as I was making the turn onto the probably busiest surface street in the city. Making the turn, mind you, so I didn't get through the intersection until I spent about five light cycles using all my strength to turn the wheel and pull the bus over to the side of the rode. If I had actually gotten on the highway and been going more than a few miles an hour when things failed... Oo
Candia Lee 2 years ago
Weird double post: when I upvoted 1, the other also got my upvote. When I deleted my upvote from 2, it didn't change 1. Weird.
Load More Replies...
UpQuarkDownQuark 2 years ago
When I was ten I was throwing rocks off of a hundred foot tall granite cliffs into some rapids below, and when I picked up a rock I was startled by a small, sleeping rattlesnake under it. I leapt back and almost went over the cliff. And then I poked at the rattlesnake with a stick until it woke up and struck at the stick. Some city kids shouldn’t be let out into the woods.
Sky Render 2 years ago
Not me but my younger brother, back when he was about 8 or 9. We were exploring near a cave at the coast around low tide and he wanted to go in. We didn't have a watch with us (and this was many years before cell phones), so we didn't know how long we had 'til the tide started coming back in. Turns out the tide was already coming back in, and fast! He almost got himself stuck in that little cave and swept out with the current, but my older brother fortunately was there to pick him up and carry him back to safety through already-knee-high waves.
SilentBob731 2 years ago
The moral of this post: "Why is everyone else so bad at eating?" --Ron Swanson
Brian Geppert 2 years ago
I can share my King of Stupidity moment as it happened when I was really young... The kind of age those warning labels are referring to when they say "KEEP OUT OF REACH OF SMALL CHILDREN." That's important to the story... I wanted to clean my penny collection... So I made a mixture of bleach, kerosene, model airplane fuel, laundry detergent, and PEROXIDE! Chemists out there are already wondering how I didn’t blow myself up… I shook the mixture and then inhaled it… I’d be dead if I didn’t grow up 2-minutes from a hospital with an amazing emergency room… When I got home from the ER my penny collection had literally DISSOLVED.
Pezor Zass 2 years ago
Was walking to school in winter once and decided to take a short cut. went the wrong way, ended up on this kind of little hill thing beside a busy street. Figured i could safely walk down the hill and wait for a break in the traffic, but it turned out that the hill was all ice with a thin layer of snow over it. zoomed down headed right for the cars. Fell on my butt and barely managed to stop before ending up in the street. Had to sit there for a few mins to let my heart come back to some kind of normal.
Darcy Marie 2 years ago
Years ago I was free climbing (no ropes, just your hands and feet) a 75ish ft cliff near me at an old abandoned rock quarry. I was about half way and had to sneeze, my mom taught me to cover my mouth. So I let go of the rock I was clinging to to cover my nose and mouth. 🤦♀️ Did a lot of weird flapping of my arms and slid/fell down a few feet before I could catch a hold. Scraped my legs and stomach up real good. But if I didn't catch myself and fell all the way down I definitely would have been hospitalized if not dead.
Lynne Hammar 2 years ago
I was driving on a major highway with my teenaged granddaughter, eating McDonald's, and we started laughing hard at something totally stupid. I ended up inhaling a piece of the bun, and that made me laugh harder. I continued to choke and laugh harder and harder, hyper-focusing on the road so I wouldn't get us both killed. Thank God the bun eventually dissolved enough and I could breathe. Scary and still funny after all this time.
AtomKat 2 years ago
I block my nose when I sneeze, and I have accepted that I may get a brain aneurysm and die. I think that’s the stupidest and funniest way to go, so I’m not mad about it.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Lots of people choke it seems...and not many people notice they are choking
Katinka Min 2 years ago
I almost ran in front of a car because my brain suddenly decided that red means I can go and green for the cars means they have to stop. I have no idea why that happened, but, Christ, I certaily was awake after that shock. terrifying brain fart!!
IlovemydogShilo 2 years ago
When I was a teen my dad came home from work with an old empty oil drum. He got it so we could burn some old rubbish in it as we were having a clear out. My mum dad and I were taking turns putting bags of rubbish in the fire. Mum put a bag in and walked away Just as I was about to put a bag in, when there was an almighty explosion. I was just far enough away not to get hurt but what bits came flying out and burnt the grass around the drum. My mother had put a bag that was full of old dead batteries that dad was keeping to one side to take to work to dispose of properly but mum didn't realise as they were in a black bag. If I had been any closer I would have been showered with fiery battery acid and been badly burned just like the grass.
Kandi Heiple 2 years ago
I already said it up there but if you choke do NOT run into the bathroom. People who choke to death are often found in bathrooms because their instinct was to run to the bathroom and deal with it themselves. Stand up and try to indicate whats happening so somebody can perform the Heimlich on you!
Red Ruffensor 2 years ago
I choked on a piece of steak, good thing thing my wife Heimliched me. She still seems to think I owe her something.
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 2 years ago
I almost got my face blasted off today by a bunch of boys playing cricket. They threw the ball so hard that I could hear the air being pushed as the ball missed me by a few millimetres
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
My dad cracked it at a group of boys when he was dropping me off at school once and I was really embarrassed until I realised it was because they had thrown a ball and it hit his head, almost directly on his temple.
Load More Replies... GenericPanda09 2 years ago
Think I came pretty close this morning when I woke up, slapped my missus' a**e, and said 'good morning...now get up and serve me some breakfast wench'.
SandyB 2 years ago
My close call... I slipped and fell on a Friday leaving work, tearing my quadricep. Went home on crutches to put my leg up for a few days. On Sunday I had a "shortness of breath" issue that I blamed on the pain meds. Felt worse every day, finally passing out Wednesday. Went to the ER with pulmonary embolisms and spent 8 days in the hospital. Who knew?
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Hrm. As I have said before, I have more than one bonehead thing I have done that could have ended badly but didn't. I think probably the worst though was when I was driving a (fully loaded) city bus when I noticed that the power steering was not working as well. Called it in and was told to keep driving, which was, in retrospect, stupid and I should have refused (I could have). Oh, and the important detail: this was a commuter route, and while this happened on surface streets I was a few blocks from getting on the interstate. It ended up dumping enough fluid for the power steering to fail catastrophically right as I was making the turn onto the probably busiest surface street in the city. Making the turn, mind you, so I didn't get through the intersection until I spent about five light cycles using all my strength to turn the wheel and pull the bus over to the side of the rode. If I had actually gotten on the highway and been going more than a few miles an hour when things failed... Oo
Candia Lee 2 years ago
Weird double post: when I upvoted 1, the other also got my upvote. When I deleted my upvote from 2, it didn't change 1. Weird.
Load More Replies... UpQuarkDownQuark 2 years ago
When I was ten I was throwing rocks off of a hundred foot tall granite cliffs into some rapids below, and when I picked up a rock I was startled by a small, sleeping rattlesnake under it. I leapt back and almost went over the cliff. And then I poked at the rattlesnake with a stick until it woke up and struck at the stick. Some city kids shouldn’t be let out into the woods.
Sky Render 2 years ago
Not me but my younger brother, back when he was about 8 or 9. We were exploring near a cave at the coast around low tide and he wanted to go in. We didn't have a watch with us (and this was many years before cell phones), so we didn't know how long we had 'til the tide started coming back in. Turns out the tide was already coming back in, and fast! He almost got himself stuck in that little cave and swept out with the current, but my older brother fortunately was there to pick him up and carry him back to safety through already-knee-high waves.
SilentBob731 2 years ago
The moral of this post: "Why is everyone else so bad at eating?" --Ron Swanson
Brian Geppert 2 years ago
I can share my King of Stupidity moment as it happened when I was really young... The kind of age those warning labels are referring to when they say "KEEP OUT OF REACH OF SMALL CHILDREN." That's important to the story... I wanted to clean my penny collection... So I made a mixture of bleach, kerosene, model airplane fuel, laundry detergent, and PEROXIDE! Chemists out there are already wondering how I didn’t blow myself up… I shook the mixture and then inhaled it… I’d be dead if I didn’t grow up 2-minutes from a hospital with an amazing emergency room… When I got home from the ER my penny collection had literally DISSOLVED.
Pezor Zass 2 years ago
Was walking to school in winter once and decided to take a short cut. went the wrong way, ended up on this kind of little hill thing beside a busy street. Figured i could safely walk down the hill and wait for a break in the traffic, but it turned out that the hill was all ice with a thin layer of snow over it. zoomed down headed right for the cars. Fell on my butt and barely managed to stop before ending up in the street. Had to sit there for a few mins to let my heart come back to some kind of normal.
Darcy Marie 2 years ago
Years ago I was free climbing (no ropes, just your hands and feet) a 75ish ft cliff near me at an old abandoned rock quarry. I was about half way and had to sneeze, my mom taught me to cover my mouth. So I let go of the rock I was clinging to to cover my nose and mouth. 🤦♀️ Did a lot of weird flapping of my arms and slid/fell down a few feet before I could catch a hold. Scraped my legs and stomach up real good. But if I didn't catch myself and fell all the way down I definitely would have been hospitalized if not dead.
Lynne Hammar 2 years ago
I was driving on a major highway with my teenaged granddaughter, eating McDonald's, and we started laughing hard at something totally stupid. I ended up inhaling a piece of the bun, and that made me laugh harder. I continued to choke and laugh harder and harder, hyper-focusing on the road so I wouldn't get us both killed. Thank God the bun eventually dissolved enough and I could breathe. Scary and still funny after all this time.
AtomKat 2 years ago
I block my nose when I sneeze, and I have accepted that I may get a brain aneurysm and die. I think that’s the stupidest and funniest way to go, so I’m not mad about it.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Lots of people choke it seems...and not many people notice they are choking
Katinka Min 2 years ago
I almost ran in front of a car because my brain suddenly decided that red means I can go and green for the cars means they have to stop. I have no idea why that happened, but, Christ, I certaily was awake after that shock. terrifying brain fart!!
IlovemydogShilo 2 years ago
When I was a teen my dad came home from work with an old empty oil drum. He got it so we could burn some old rubbish in it as we were having a clear out. My mum dad and I were taking turns putting bags of rubbish in the fire. Mum put a bag in and walked away Just as I was about to put a bag in, when there was an almighty explosion. I was just far enough away not to get hurt but what bits came flying out and burnt the grass around the drum. My mother had put a bag that was full of old dead batteries that dad was keeping to one side to take to work to dispose of properly but mum didn't realise as they were in a black bag. If I had been any closer I would have been showered with fiery battery acid and been badly burned just like the grass.
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