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30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Trying to be all arty farty and sharpening my pencil with a craft knife. Yes, I sliced open my thumb, fainted at the gushing blood, fell to the floor and stabbed myself.

I always use a pencil sharpener now.

EDIT::: Oh my! Thanks so much for the Gold Award! This has made my day :).

whoops53 , 2H Media Report

Final score:

86points

POST

Mike F 1 month ago

I know that is an illustration, but I used to use the pictured knife and that devil doesn't play!

19points

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Cut my hand on a broken, frozen chicken nugget.

Edit: This is by far the most upvoted comment I've ever made, so thanks.
My first job was in a chip shop. I had to get some nuggets out of one of the giant, overloaded and frosty stand up freezers. I plunged my hand into the box and when it came out there was blood everywhere. When I scraped some of the contents out, there was a nugget that had broken so had a glass shard-like edge.
I had to sit down for 5 minutes whilst the bleeding stopped. It seemed pretty daft at the time and it would appear that about a thousand people on the Internet seen to agree.

JiggyMacC , Evgeniya Davydova Report

Final score:

78points

POST

Mike F 1 month ago

Nuggys that fight back.

28points

frusciantefango , Anna Nekrashevich Report

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Got my arm caught up in my top when getting changed and in yanking it out, punched myself in the mouth and burst my lip.

Final score:

78points

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Alexia 1 month ago

Reminds me of my own idiot moment :))). I had just washed my long hair and wanted to throw my hair over my head, like in those shampoo commercials. Slammed my head against the sink. I saw some blue and green tiny stars for some time, not sure how much =)))

41points

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others I once inverted a loft ladder into the loft, lay on it and said "thunderbirds are go", released the latch and ejected myself out of the loft onto the concrete floor below.

McRazz , Kindel Media Report

Final score:

76points

POST

DrBronxx 1 month ago

That's what you get when you don't do it right. You gotta count down from 5 in "the voice".

20points

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Tried to take painkillers for a bad headache at work, somehow managed to slice my finger on the foil from the tablet blister pack (like an overpowered paper cut), bled all over my desk and keyboard. Colleague helpfully said "at least you've already had painkillers".

justdont7133 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

66points

POST

Pink kitty 1 month ago

Your colleague and I would get along so well!

25points

runwithcolour , Alexander Kovalev Report

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others I was playing a computer game sitting cross-legged for 2 hours. Got up to make dinner but had pins and needles in my leg. Took a step, went right over on my ankle and tore some ligaments. Needed surgery and 9 months of physio.

I’m not allowed to walk if I get pins and needles again.

Final score:

64points

POST

StrangeOne 1 month ago

Ouch. I've nearly bent my knee backwards doing that.

9points

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Broke a light fitting and got an electric shock trying to remove it. Called and electrician, and showed him what the problem was by touching the fitting again.

Mossley , La Miko Report

Final score:

63points

POST

Mike F 1 month ago

I'm shocked at the stupidity.

43points

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Lying in bed, sneezed, threw my back out.

sandra_nz , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

62points

POST

Corvus 1 month ago

Diagnosis: You're over 30.

60points

#10

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others A friend had her 18th in a pub in her town, whereas I live in the nearby city. We all left the pub they had their party at to continue the night back at theirs.

All the people ahead of me were walking down the long and winding path to leave through the gate. Directly in front of the exit was a small stone wall about 2ft high at most, and that was a significantly quicker route.

Obviously I was smarter than everyone who lived in this area and had been to this pub a million times, so I casually hopped over the little wall.

Turns out it's 2ft high facing the pub, but about 8ft high on the other side. I broke my ankle and collapsed like a sack of s**t. Struggled and limped all the way back to her house and assured myself it was just a sprain until the following morning when I couldn't walk at all and my mum had to come get me to go to A&E.

Slothjitzu , Kindel Media Report

Final score:

62points

POST

Bay Bo 1 month ago

But at least u were smarter😜

17points

#11

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others I was playing cricket and at tea I was walking back from the clubhouse, fell over fresh air and trying to protect my pork pies & vital goodies I broke 2 fingers.

ShiteCrack , Kodiak_Wylde Report

Final score:

60points

POST

Mike F 1 month ago

Fell over fresh air 😂😂😂

56points

Parking-Grade8241 , Michael Morse Report

#12

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Paper cut both of my eyeballs when I was tickling my eyelashes with the edge of a magazine as I watched TV (why, I don't know). Our dog next to me barked, made me jump which shoved the edges of the pages into my eyes.
I think the Dr at the hospital was even judging my stupidity.

Final score:

58points

POST

Sue Denham 1 month ago

I'm more concerned that you didn't have the smarts to tell the doctor "My dog had the magazine in its mouth and pushed it in my eye".

19points

#13

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others A dog fell off a 3rd floor balcony and landed on my head.

Knocked me onto the iron gate of our ground floor flat and I fracture my jaw.

Queen_Sun , Magda Ehlers Report

Final score:

57points

POST

Karina 1 month ago

But what about the dog?

77points

PM_Me_Rude_Haiku , cottonbro studio Report

#14

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others I once slammed my head in my own car door. I was trying to slide into the driver's seat and close the door behind me all in one fluid motion but I mis-timed it somehow and trapped my head between the top of the door frame and the car roof.

It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't done it directly in front of my girlfriend's parents who were waving me off after I had met them for the first time ever. I had to pretend I was fine, then drove around the corner to clutch my head in my hands for a few minutes and try not to throw up.

Final score:

50points

POST

1brokegirl 1 month ago

I've done this! I didn't seriously hurt myself or get a concussion and it was seriously funny! Lol I'm pretty sure I was alone if not with my boyfriend when I went to get in tried to do the same thing but one of my body parts didn't listen correctly lmfao! Just closed it enough to know I did it! Just stupid enough to know I did it and laugh about it!!

6points

#15

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others I'm a wheelchair user and I once tried to show off in a club by getting up this pretty big step to dance on the raised area. Fell backwards and basically punched the floor when I landed, breaking my hand (though I didn't realise until the next day)

About 2 minutes later my partner tried to do the exact same thing and got a nearly identical injury

Who could have predicted that taking a GIANT step (like 4x the size of a curb) with no run up, on a slippy dance floor with slippy wheels, and nothing to grab on to, could have POSSIBLY gone wrong.... not us, apparently.

quinneth-q , Maor Attias Report

Final score:

45points

POST

Kris 1 month ago

Og course you knew. It was part of the act

0points

#16

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Three spring to mind.

The first - I was grabbing a can of polish from under the sink and when I pulled it out, I jerked my arm too viciously and smacked myself in the face. Gave myself a black eye and a headache.

The second - at work, I was taking some money out the till to put in the safe. Had to be quick as it was super busy. Grabbed the Dosh, ran to the coded door, put the wrong code in and rather than push the door open, I walked right into it...it didn't open because I put the wrong code in. Another black eye, eyebrow piercing bled, and I smacked my head so hard into the door that I gave myself concussion and had to go home.

The third - in college, a friend and I decided to bunk off for the day and make cake. My mum had an electric mixer stick thing and I was showing my friend K how to scrape the excess mixture out of the hollow bit where the blade sits without hurting yourself. She was holding the stick so we could both see it...and she turned it on with my finger still inside. It didn't sever the finger, but now my left index finger has a big scar and no feeling in the place above where the blade hit. After we got to the hospital and got everything sorted, she said to me "do you think we could still make cake with the batter if we scoop your blood out of it?" No, Kirk. No.

I am one of the clumsiest people alive and fall down the stairs almost every day, so there's probably more but those are the 3 that I think of regularly.

yalliepants , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:

43points

POST

Jessica Shookhoff 1 month ago

I think you should see a Neurologist as falling down the stairs that often isn't normal. There may be a treatment that could help you with that.

21points

#17

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Where to start…

Stabbed myself in the foot with a garden fork while aggressively aerating my garden. Figured ouch but it’ll be fine. The next day it was twice the size and a very ugly shade of purple. Ended up in A&E on an antibiotic drip plus a course of antibiotics to take home and a tetanus jab.

Sawed my thumb with a bow saw.

Chopped the same thumb on the same day with an axe. Luckily I was only a kid at that point so not strong enough to do any serious damage.

Took the front of my shin right off trying to vault a wall, I could see the bone. Also as a kid.

As an adult, I was taking a pizza out of the oven. Had a pizza stone with a metal cradle. Foolishly lifted the cradle away wearing oven gloves which had no grip and it swung round and landed on my forearm; it was a pretty nasty burn which also needed hospital attention.

There’s more, but you get the idea.

ETA I also stabbed myself in the hand separating frozen burgers with a kitchen knife. The tip of the knife came right out of the other side of my hand. Luckily it went between my metacarpals otherwise that could’ve been lasting damage.

All in all, I think I’m pretty lucky to be alive, but pretty damn stupid for not learning from any of it.

polychromiyeux , David Rangel Report

Final score:

40points

POST

Definitely not a catnapper 1 month ago

I think the universe is trying to tell you something STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM SHARP OBJECTS

31points

DudeFortitude (He/Him) 1 month ago

I do that already...

0points

Mike F 1 month ago

A word of advice, avoid mowing your own lawn.

6points

Jeweled Dragon (She/They) 1 month ago

The last one with the knife happened exactly the way as described to my mom. She was using the knife to separate frozen burgers and it went clean through her hand. She now has nerve damage in one of her fingers.

1point

Marie Kirk 1 month ago

Now to be known as a Bone Saw

0points

#18

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others When I was a teenager I was lying down in my hallway doing art coursework with a pillow underneath my elbows. Had the whole house in complete darkness apart from a small light on behind me. The phone rang and as I ran to answer it got me foot caught in me laptop wire, ripping it out from the wall, getting my balance and then tripping over the f*****g pillow. Broke 3 toes and had to crawl across the floor to see who had rang.

kiwii-xo , Towfiqu barbhuiya Report

Final score:

35points

POST

Mike F 1 month ago

We'd like to talk to you about your car's warranty...

34points

#19

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Split my groin and d**k open as teenager by crashing a bmx into the ground after flying off the top of a half pipe and literally cocking up the landing.

Berookes , Oliver Morgan Media Report

Final score:

34points

POST

sturmwesen 1 month ago

I heard a split tongue might have ehhm relationship benefits ...So what about a split d!ck?

9points

Connect-Smell761 , Aibek Skakov Aibek Skakov Report

#20

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Oh I have a few...

Broke my leg slipping in a patch of booze whilst dancing enthusiastically to The Prodigy.

Broke my toe by stubbing it on a corner whilst hoovering naked.

Had to have 15 stitches in my hands when I picked my cat up to rescue it from a fight with anther cat.

Fell over putting my socks on and gave myself a black eye - I tried to break my fall, but punched myself instead.

Final score:

33points

POST

WindySwede 1 month ago

I see you wanting to rescue the cat, but maybe not with hands? 🙈

8points

#21

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Running to catch a train after a few beers with some mates (had been watching a 5 a side legends tournament in Manchester), tried being flash by vaulting a bin at speed.

Messed up the landing and tore my right calf muscle badly, missed the train too (no they didn't wait for me).

YinkYinkYinken , Ketut Subiyanto Report

Final score:

29points

POST

Mary 1 month ago

How rude of them

4points

#22

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Running from the garden into the house, I jumped in through the patio doors. Except they were shut. My sister still laugh about how I boiinged off the door like a Tom and Jerry cartoon!

Dancing in my room wearing a pencil skirt. Kicked my leg up high, it whipped the other leg from under me and I landed on the floor. Luckily I was alone for that one!

Had a knife with a cover on it. Took the cover off with my thumb on the cover - of course sliced through my thumb. Bled like a bastard.

CaveJohnson82 , Pavel Danilyuk Report

Final score:

29points

POST

1brokegirl 1 month ago

The pencil skit!! I'd love to see that!!!

9points

#23

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Two things come to mind. Both many years ago, when at school.

1. I fractured my arm (not stupidly) so didn't do gym for a couple of months. During that time, they replaced the springboard that we used with a mini-trampoline.

First gym class I was allowed to do, we were using the mini-tramp to vault a horse. Never having used one before, I jumped on it with the same force as a springboard. I flew through the air and never touched the horse, and broke my collarbone on landing.

After that, the gym teacher called me 007, as apparently it was quite cinematic.

2. In metalwork, I'd been using a soldering iron and hung it from its hook on a rack. I misjudged it and it fell off. Without thinking I caught it in mid-air, but by the wrong end.

RetiredFromIT , Blaz Erzetic Report

Final score:

29points

POST

Mike F 1 month ago

That last one made my butt clench. I think I even smelled that accident. 🥴

17points

barriedalenick , Kampus Production Report

#24

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others I was removing the liquidiser blade from a stick blender and it was still plugged in. I said to myself with a loud inner voice - "DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON" The other half of my brain heard it as "Press the button" so I did.

It wasn't so bad as the blade got stuck on the bone and didn't liquidise my finger but I couldn't bring myself to look at it until my wife, as if addressing a small child, made me.

Final score:

28points

POST

Mike F 1 month ago

OP is the reason why there are stupid warning labels on devices.

27points

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#25

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Ran over my own finger on skateboard and broke it (also had to have the nail pulled out of the same broken finger).

See also: ran over my own foot and ankle with my car.

WBCSMFer , Mike Bird Report

Final score:

28points

POST

Bay Bo 1 month ago

The wheels seem out to get you, a oid them at all cost

12points

#26

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others I once went on a lads holiday and broke my wrist trying to lean against a fence whilst chatting up 2 girls. turns out the fence was just some rope and i fell 10 foot off a ledge onto a balcony below. proper only fools and horses style.

pb-86 , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

26points

POST

Bay Bo 1 month ago

But did the 2 girls fall for u??

6points

RunawayPenguin89 , Karmishth Tandel Report

#27

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Was changing an office strip light and the bracket had somehow twisted itself, so I poked my (metal) Leatherman into the (live) fitting. Got an electric shock which caused me to punch myself in the face.

Final score:

25points

POST

Bay Bo 1 month ago

🤣🤣that's something that u probably wish was on video

8points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

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#28

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Dismantling my old wooden shed, planks of wooden panels with long rusty nails scattered everywhere. I was rather proud of myself and then I stood on one of them at a weird angle and surely enough it was perfectly aimed for my family jewels....the pain of it made me violently stumble backwards and surely enough, I stood on another plank with big rusty nails....

Superhhung , Engin Akyurt Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Ava Lemar 1 month ago

Very cartoonish injuries on this one. Probably had to get tetanus shots afterward though, poor sap.

7points

Kitty_Boom95 , https://www.pexels.com/photo/brown-handle-knife-on-brown-wooden-table-3809174/ Report

#29

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Slicing my hand myself with a new kitchen knife while unpackaging it, while talking about how sharp these new ones will be and being excited about it lol.

Final score:

24points

POST

Philly Bob Squires 1 month ago

I have a kitchen knife that I call my "finger remover" because it will cut you to the bone. Ask how I know.

1point

#30

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Cutting my fingernails, didn't have clippers so carefully used a long craft knife. Sneezed and cut a 3 inch gash in the flesh by my thumb. Also got a bad habit of catching things I drop on my foot, stabbed my foot with the same knife.

Parking-Tip1685 , Roland LANNIER Report

Final score:

23points

POST

WindySwede 1 month ago

Every time you hold a knife think "jump back if I drop it!"

8points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

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#31

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others When I was a teenager I was messing around in the park with my friends (as you do) and got everyone to spin me as much as they could on the roundabout. When I got off I was so dizzy, I didn’t just stagger sideways I literally leapt sideways onto my own head and gave myself a concussion.

riotlady , Илья Торопов Report

Final score:

14points

POST

Tempest 1 month ago (edited)

Something similar happened to me. Some cousins were visiting and we, all being teens, were so bored that we decided to do some random internet challenges. The first one we tried involved getting dizzy at the start of the challenge. We decided to use a pole so we can get dizzy without another one helping. The pole we found was a large broken off branch. Anyway we had some several rounds go alright with just a few falls here and there. Then came my, I think, 3rd turn. I spun so fast with that pole that one of my legs slipped under me (we were doing the challenge on a loose gravel driveway) and I face planted right onto the gravel. It just took like 2 seconds for it to happen but I ended up with broken glasses, a deep gash on one of my eyelids, and terribly bruised fingers, elbows, and knees. I had to go to school the next day looking like I’ve been in a fight. We were all just glad that the branch didn’t impale me as I fell. I still have that eye scar to this day. Good times!

3points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

#32

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others I had kicked my slippers on and off like I normally did, I went to kick my slipper on again and booted the door frame hard enough to break my toe hahaha.

miz_moon , Lisa Fotios Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Bay Bo 1 month ago

Did u apologize to the poor door frame?

5points

#33

Whilst teaching I ran my hand down along the side of my smartboard and cut my hand open on a partially-cut zip-tie that tore straight through the skin. I stopped my teaching, looked at my hand with visible confusion, stating to my baffled class 'how can a zip tie do that much damage?!?!'. Naturally being teenagers, they all found me injuring myself on my smartboard to be highly entertaining. Can't say I blame them!

Wiseman738 Report

Final score:

13points

POST

UncleJohn3000 1 month ago

"Bloody great class! Thanks Teach!"

1point

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#34

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Cut my finger using a slightly serrated butter knife to open a pack of cheese. It moved fast when it opened.

Also managed to run my finger along the edge of a very sharp knife while drying it.

Oh, and walked into a concrete wall on my honeymoon in our hotel bedroom and then fainted.

theprocrastatron , Felicity Tai Report

Final score:

12points

POST

Bay Bo 1 month ago

Fainted or knocked out?

0points

#35

I broke my finger on the elastic type part of my tracksuit pants when I was pulling them up from the back.
Dont even know how this is possible, but it was the last portion of my finger, didn't hurt, it just was ....floppy

My parents at the time thought I was faking the break.
Had it in a splint, was to embarrassed to tell anyone at school how it broke so said it was in a car sliding door.

Annual_Hippo_6749 Report

Final score:

12points

POST

#36

When I was 6 I walked into a lamppost, requiring stitches to my forehead. I'd been walking past a church yard where some people were digging, and I thought there might be skeletons, so I wasn't looking in the direction I was walking. Most disappointingly there were no skeletons, as it was a bit of scrubby land next to a church rather than an actual grave yard.

Aged 9 I cut myself badly by sharpening homemade arrows with a kitchen knife.

cinnabar-moth Report

Final score:

12points

POST

Robert T 1 month ago

I did something similar with one of the poles that holds up the overhead powerlines for the trams. In my defence, it was painted black and it was raining so I head my head down. I hit it so hard I swear it went "CLONG". Had to go back to the office for the first aid kit, as I could feel blood running down my face.

2points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

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#37

December last year I opened a door a bit too enthusiastically with my bare foot in the way. Took my big toenail right off. Quite a fair bit of blood.

ShadowOfDeth_ Report

Final score:

12points

POST

Undercover 1 month ago

Nooooo, not the nails! 😵😵😵

5points

#38

I had sprained my ankle so had crutches. I’m terribly co-ordinated and just couldn’t get used to them. Trying to get to the loo I managed to smash my little toe on the other foot into the crutch and break it.

My husband cut his hand open trying to open a pack of knives with another knife.

This-Disk1212 Report

Final score:

11points

POST

#39

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others I’d stupidly started doing YouTube aerobics and was really stiff afterwards (steady). I was walking back from a meeting and went to step off a kerb and tore my calf muscle. Thank f**k my friend was with me because I was in so much pain I probably would’ve been run over. As it was I thought I was going to puke and pass out simultaneously.

So yeah, tore my gastrocnemius crossing the road.

schmoovebaby , Photo By: Kaboompics.com Report

Final score:

10points

POST

Mike F 1 month ago

This individual needs to stop crossing the road.

4points

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#40

30 Times People Injured Themselves In Dumb Ways And Just Had To Warn Others Sledging, but used a kayak.

anon , Rachel Claire Report

Final score:

7points

POST

Ranger Kanootsen says GOODBYE! 1 month ago

I did that too... :(

2points

RainbowPenguin1000 Report

#41

We had a football game and only 9 players turned up, classic Sunday League stuff. In the warm up i tried a scorpion kick and managed to jam my elbow in to my hip as i landed on the floor. I stood up and carried on without anyone noticing but my hip was in a lot of pain and i couldn't run, only lightly jog.

My teammates soon found out i was injured so we played 90 mins with a team of 8 players and one idiot slowly jogging round the pitch because he elbowed himself in the hip. My team never did find out exactly how i did it though thankfully.

Final score:

7points

POST

#42

Kicked a freezer in Aldi because I was too busy looking at the ice cream inside to notice I was still moving towards said large heavy object. Broke my toe. Didn't even get an ice cream.

anon Report

Final score:

7points

POST

hwatinternation 1 month ago

I feel like OP earned an icecream after that one.

3points

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#43

Dropped a Amazon box on my big toe. Broke it in one place. 10 minutes later dropped it again and broke it on two places.

Dropped my ecig on my toe and broke that toe….

N7_Hellblazer Report

Final score:

6points

POST

1brokegirl 1 month ago

Maybe op has a calcium deficiency issue! That's weird! 3 light of 1 definitely light E cig broke a toe? Wanna know how big the box was! Lol

1point

Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

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Struggling writer by day. Frustrated jazz drummer by night. Space Cowboy 24/7.

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Gabija is a photo editor at Bored Panda. Before joining the team, she achieved a Professional Bachelor degree in Photography and has been working as a freelance photographer since. She also has a special place in her heart for film photography, movies and nature.

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What do you think ?

POST

Ranger Kanootsen says GOODBYE! 1 month ago (edited)

I was sleeping on the roof of my house and I must have rolled off during the night. Woke up the next morning in a bush, covered in bruises and very confused

6points

Daya Meyer 1 month ago

And you didn't realized crashing onto the ground? How can you be so drunk or stoned? Well, sleeping on a roof is always a bad idea at all, I assume.

2points

Tempest 1 month ago

I was once rocking on a kitchen stool and for some reason decided to close my eyes to “feel” the rocking motion. Next thing I know was I’m on the floor very confused. My mom was in the kitchen preparing some afternoon tea and she witnessed the whole fall. I got an earful for rocking on a chair.

1point

Daya Meyer 1 month ago

Thank you for making things clear. I haven't thought about that you possibly have lost conciousness after the fall. Stay safe.

1point

Maikku 1 month ago

I once got an eye infection after spraying parfume in my eye. I was trying to spray parfume normally and the thing didn't work. So at this point my brain stopped to function and I looked directly at the hole where the parfume is supposed to come out and pushed. It worked this time.

5points

sturmwesen 1 month ago

Don't go cleaning any guns

9points

Littlemiss 1 month ago (edited)

Gee where do I begin? Sewed my own finger, broke the needle off in my finger and then couldn't get the broken needle out of my finger. It went in the top, bounced off the bone and out the bottom. Dropped a book under a bench, bent down to pick it up and hit my head so hard I saw stars. Slipped in the shower, hit my head as I fell and knocked myself out. Came to 20 minutes later like a turtle on its back, legs up the wall and stuck. The ER doctor insisted on a sobriety test because he didn't believe anyone could be so clumsy. Put my back out sneezing. Fell down a small flight of stairs, kicked every single step and landed on both feet. I sprained the entire top half of my body. Slipped in a puddle and broke my coccyx. Yeah I either have a death wish or God has an awful sense of humor.

4points

Terran 1 month ago

I wanted to cut a bottle in half and took it in my left hand and stabbed it with a knife. I stabbed through the bottle into my hand, about 1,5cm deep. Another time I was sharpening tools for work and tested the sharpness with my finger. Proud to say they were very sharp (and my finger very hurt).

2points

brittany 1 month ago

my grandpa owned a horse farm. i climbed after him through a barbed wire fence to see the horses, lost my balance and landed straight on my elbow. shoved my elbow up into the next bone, splitting it. 0/10 would not recommend. ive also stepped on my own hand and boob before

1point

Liz The Biz 1 month ago

This happened quite recently. I went to put the bins out for collection and as it was a warm sunny morning I didn't bother to put anything on my feet. One of the bins was much heavier than I was expecting and I couldn't shift it. I managed to lift it slightly but I immediately dropped it right onto my big toe. This was about 4 months ago and my toe is still not a pretty sight. A few weeks later I dropped a box of heavy books onto the same foot.

1point

Toothless Feline 1 month ago

Most of mine are from my childhood. On my fifth birthday, I tried to stand up inside a bookcase. My scalp got five stitches. I once tried going down the backyard slide with a plastic croquet mallet in my mouth (pointing forward). The mallet hit the ground and the end of the handle scraped up the back of my throat horribly. I stepped off my bed and fell on a Fisher-Price Little People toy castle face first, knocking out a baby tooth and twisting the underlying adult tooth in its socket. Lower front tooth, still twisted. And, the piece de resistance, one day my sister was turning around in a circle holding a four-foot branch, swinging it around, and I walked into the sharp point on the end. Scratched my left cornea, and I had to wear an eyepatch for two weeks. My eye doctor suspects that this is the primary reason my left eye is more severely nearsighted than my right.

1point

Kristen Woehlke 1 month ago

Thanksgiving 2011, walked my dog in the back yard. Stepped in a mole hole, broke my ankle. Thought I got a nice sprain. Got up for breakfast the next day, fell on my face and crawled to the kitchen. 2019, woken up by the same dog to go out. Cat dashed between my legs, I tripped and slammed my face into the door frame... Woke up with a black eye. Damn, but I do miss my dog (no, seriously, I do!)

1point

Seedy Vine 1 month ago

One time I was washing dishes a little too enthusiastically and ended up impaling my wrist on the tines of a fork. The forks now go tines-side down into the dish rack in my household.

1point

MalP 1 month ago

I sneezed while using an electric hedge trimmer. Sneezed to hard I swung the trimmer all the way around and it bit my butt. Looked like a vampire got me.

1point

B 1 month ago

I went for the school high jump record many years ago. I actually made it, but landed badly - with my knee in my face. Lost two front teeth, and decades later I still have issues with the replacements (teeth, not knee, which was okay). To this day I'm convinced not a single person recorded that high jump record.

1point

Tobias Reaper 1 month ago

ok here we go while working on a Deli counter closing it down we had machine that holds a roll of cling film or seran wrap it has lid that you slam down over it when you pull it out and a blade that cuts it with a sticker that says concealed blade. It started slipping off the counter so i grabbed the bottom part with the blade ouch. When i was about 4 or 5 i was playing with a spring unwinding it and wound it right into my finger. My mum called an ambulance the guy on the phone thought she said string so thought it was joke it gets even worse. At this time in the UK ambulances were on strike so a police van turned up instead.

1point

DarcyRose 1 month ago

Relate to so many incidents. Curious how many of the posts were from people who are ND

1point

Bex 1 month ago

I know a guy who swallowed a bee when he was a kid. He was just talking, the bee flew in his mouth towards the back of it, and he panicked and swallowed it. It stung him on the inside of his throat as he swallowed it.

1point

Elladine DesIsles 1 month ago

Wow, that's worse than mine... When I was three, I went down a slide at the playground (picture early-1980s creaky metal slide), unaware that there was a bee resting on the surface partway down. So yeah, I had my first ever bee sting on my poor little preschool derriere. It is one of my earliest clear memories, although oddly enough, I don't really remember the pain. I can still picture the playground and the slide, and I remember it happening. Then I remember spending a lot of time lying on my stomach on the sofa, watching kids tv on public television while my mother tended to me (and my baby sister, only 2-3 months old; poor Mom!).

1point

Philly Bob Squires 1 month ago

My (then) 15 year old daughter took 14 stitches in her foot from a falling butter knife. One of the dullest damned knives in the kitchen. 14 stitches. Doc said she'd had been better off if the knife was sharp as it would have only just stuck.

0points

Batwench Premium 1 month ago

Was crying through laughter at these. Some of them are so close to what I have done to myself over the years.

0points

IamMe 1 month ago

I'm very clumsy, so I hurt myself a lot. The funniest looking, was probably when I stepped on a garden rake, cartoon style, and hit myself in the face. It knocked me out, and I landed in a wood pile, which collapsed on top of me. I had cuts and bruises from head to toe, but luckily only broke a hand. The scariest, for me, was when I was dragging an old, broken, bookcase outside. Somehow, one of the shelves fell off, and landed screw down on my wrist. It was a long screw, and went all the way through. I was home alone, with toddlers, and 80 miles from the nearest hospital, so I walked to my neighbors house, with the board still attached, terrified that I would bleed out if I removed it. Somehow, the screw had gone between the tendon, and big vein, so I just needed stitches and antibiotics.

0points

Paulina 1 month ago (edited)

Not me, but coworker way back: Our store had glass front with one door that was fitted with customer counting device. So when we went in or out of the store, we would duck at the threshold as to not be counted. We were super used to it, but one day a coworker somehow missed the entrance and ran head first into the glass wall. And because he was mid manoeuver of ducking and swiftly getting back up, he added extra strength to the impact. He nearly fainted and got a mild concussion. And yes, our glass wall was fitted with painted lines, to make extra sure people wouldn't get confused.

0points

Panda Bear 1 month ago

Some of these people need to be put in protective bubbles for their own safety

0points

Ellen Townsend 1 month ago

My son sold Cutco knives one summer. They are the sharpest things. Everyone I know who's bought them has sliced themselves - me included!

0points

DramaDoc 1 month ago

When I was 21, there was an unfortunate 18 month period where I made numerous calls to my mom that all began: "I'm in the ER, but I'm ok..." Here are the highlights: * Asked another student to hold a 2" x 4" so it didn't land on my head. Kid got distracted and it landed on my head giving me a concussion * Broke my right hand operating a slip stage when my hand got caught in the winch (still have never damage in that hand) * Put a 3" pneumatic staple through my hand on the recoil * Stood up too quickly, slammed my head on some metal steps that were part of a set = concussion * Was so overworked, I ended up admitted to the hospital for dehydration and exhaustion * My boss set me on fire teaching me how to weld aluminum * I set me on fire welding aluminum * Didn't realize a batten was so close, stood up and gave myself a concussion * Rewiring a 2PNG stage pin connector and slipped with the screwdriver putting it into my hand Shockingly, I still work in theatre today...

0points

Mr. Toast 1 month ago

We need one of those hospital emergency room stories about items stuck where they shouldn't be. Always good for a laugh on 3 counts - the item, the lies told how it got in there as we all know the real reason and how they got it out. The best from a UK medical journal required retrieval using a broom handle and plaster of paris.

0points

Rick Seiden 1 month ago

I was drying my hair after a shower when I was in high school and had to sneeze. I decided to really let it go, sneezed so hard I doubled over and cracked my forehead on the counter on the way down.

0points

Jessica Shookhoff 1 month ago

People. Seriously, people. Unplug or flip off the fuse. ANYTHING that is powered by electricity. Just do it. Don't be lazy. Just. Friggity. Do. It. -From your Internet Mom

0points

distant_echo 1 month ago

1. Trying on a pair of pants, foot got caught up and I sprained my ankle. 2. I went on a cruise, developed Covid halfway through the week and had to stay in my room. The day before we were to leave, I stubbed my toe on a chair in the room and broke my toe.

0points

Jeweled Dragon (She/They) 1 month ago

An awful lot of people punching themselves here

0points

Beartholomew 1 month ago

Tried to be cute and crawl up the stairs. I slipped on the carpet and broken my toe. Few years later got 2nd degree burn on my pinky from a Pop tart.

0points

Chewie Baron 1 month ago

I once stabbed myself on the top of my arm with a wooden clothes peg whilst hanging out washing. Still have the scar.

0points

Alex Mosby 1 month ago

Sprained my ankle while jumping to get a balloon from the ceiling.

0points

Petra Schaap 1 month ago

just minor. was at a concert drinking from a plastic cup. Cup was empty but for some reason i kept it in my mouth by the edge and was chewing on it. Edge broke and the two sharp parts stabbed into my lip. I couldnt get it off, so i ran to the bathroom for the mirror and very carefully pried it off. With audience.

0points

Krissy Bulan 1 month ago

I was flicking open a paper grocery bag at the store and the corner stabbed me right in my eye. So painful! A trip to the ER showed I scratched my cornea pretty badly. No permanent damage though.

0points

Disgruntled Pelican 1 month ago

Finally! My time to shine! 1. Threw my neck out blowing my nose. 2. Pulled a neck muscle putting on a sweater. 3. Got a speck of metal embedded in my eyeball by simply walking into a shop, then had to have said metal scraped off (not fun at 10 years old). 4. Got 2nd degree burns from accidentally having a 30 cup pot of freshly made coffee spilled own my back. 5. Lost my big toenail as a child while playing on a scooter. 6. Ripped a ligament in my foot playing basketball because the other girl would not get off so I tried to yank my foot out and heard the distinct pop.

0points

Jaya 1 month ago

I once tried to see if the sauce was hot enough or not, by touching it with my finger 🙄 It was a sugar-based sauce, so basically scolding hot sticky caramel, and I burned it pretty badly. I have no idea why I thought touching it was a good idea 😁

0points

Daune Tullina Premium 1 month ago

I once burned my eyeball with a curling iron. The damn thing slipped of my bangs and went right into my eye. I was s pirate for a week as it healed. Stupidly painful as well

0points

Enlee Jones 1 month ago

I once threw my back out while taking off my socks.

0points

A girl 1 month ago

How are flip flops not here? I've given them up now but have injured my ankles wearing them in the past.

0points

arthbach 1 month ago

My little finger dislocated when I picked up an empty plastic bag.

0points

CG 1 month ago

I got two. The first isn't technically an injury, but I hyperextended my right ring finger while I was warming up for Jiu-Jitsu. Coach told me to do laps inside the cage, and my finger got caught in one of the cage rings/loops. The second is that I cut my the palm of my left hand with a dull butter knife trying to separate frozen burger patties. Luckily, I didn't bleed on any of the food, and it was a small cut. Then I cleaned the cut, bandaged my hand, and continued cooking.

0points

Stardust she/her 1 month ago

There’s a long story but I’ll save time and just say I nearly lost my virginity because of a locker door. I also managed to get high off a sandwich which gave me a headache

0points

sturmwesen 1 month ago

You know those electric bread and ham slicers? I got a nice big scar telling me where left is on my thumb...on the way to the hospital we had an accident and my mom needed a neck brace. Good thing we were on our way to the hospital anyway.

0points

Bobby 1 month ago

I got a tibial plateau fracture saying Frisbee. Who injures themselves so bad they need multiple surgeries playing Frisbee? It me, im that idiot

0points

POST

Ranger Kanootsen says GOODBYE! 1 month ago (edited)

I was sleeping on the roof of my house and I must have rolled off during the night. Woke up the next morning in a bush, covered in bruises and very confused

6points

Daya Meyer 1 month ago

And you didn't realized crashing onto the ground? How can you be so drunk or stoned? Well, sleeping on a roof is always a bad idea at all, I assume.

2points

Tempest 1 month ago

1point

Daya Meyer 1 month ago

Thank you for making things clear. I haven't thought about that you possibly have lost conciousness after the fall. Stay safe.

1point

Maikku 1 month ago

5points

sturmwesen 1 month ago

Don't go cleaning any guns

9points

Littlemiss 1 month ago (edited)

4points

Terran 1 month ago

2points

brittany 1 month ago

1point

Liz The Biz 1 month ago

1point

Toothless Feline 1 month ago

1point

Kristen Woehlke 1 month ago

1point

Seedy Vine 1 month ago

One time I was washing dishes a little too enthusiastically and ended up impaling my wrist on the tines of a fork. The forks now go tines-side down into the dish rack in my household.

1point

MalP 1 month ago

I sneezed while using an electric hedge trimmer. Sneezed to hard I swung the trimmer all the way around and it bit my butt. Looked like a vampire got me.

1point

B 1 month ago

1point

Tobias Reaper 1 month ago

1point

DarcyRose 1 month ago

Relate to so many incidents. Curious how many of the posts were from people who are ND

1point

Bex 1 month ago

1point

Elladine DesIsles 1 month ago

1point