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As much as you try to avoid injury, there are times when pain just comes to you. Fate decides to play a cruel game at your expense, hurting you in ways you probably never imagined.
These people would know. They were generous enough to share their answers to this Reddit question: “What’s the stupidest way you’ve injured yourself?” Someone cut their hand on a frozen chicken nugget, while another unfortunate soul had a dog fall on their head from a third-floor balcony.
Scroll down and read through these stories. Some are almost cartoonish, while others may make you cringe out of empathy. Try not to laugh too hard because it is still someone’s pain, after all.
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#1
Slipped a disk in my neck because my cat made me jump
Had the wind close an iron gate onto my head
Had a wasp fly into my face when I was standing at the top of the stairs and ended up at the bottom of the stairs a lot quicker than I would have liked
Tripped up on my own feet in an attic bedroom and ended up on the landing, fell 8 foot flat onto my back
When fishing I badly messed up a cast and got a hook stuck in my a**e cheek
Think I will stop there, or this post could go on for a while
#2
Trying to be all arty farty and sharpening my pencil with a craft knife. Yes, I sliced open my thumb, fainted at the gushing blood, fell to the floor and stabbed myself.
I always use a pencil sharpener now.
EDIT::: Oh my! Thanks so much for the Gold Award! This has made my day :).
#3
Cut my hand on a broken, frozen chicken nugget.
Edit: This is by far the most upvoted comment I've ever made, so thanks.
My first job was in a chip shop. I had to get some nuggets out of one of the giant, overloaded and frosty stand up freezers. I plunged my hand into the box and when it came out there was blood everywhere. When I scraped some of the contents out, there was a nugget that had broken so had a glass shard-like edge.
I had to sit down for 5 minutes whilst the bleeding stopped. It seemed pretty daft at the time and it would appear that about a thousand people on the Internet seen to agree.
#4
Got my arm caught up in my top when getting changed and in yanking it out, punched myself in the mouth and burst my lip.
#5
I once inverted a loft ladder into the loft, lay on it and said "thunderbirds are go", released the latch and ejected myself out of the loft onto the concrete floor below.
#6
Tried to take painkillers for a bad headache at work, somehow managed to slice my finger on the foil from the tablet blister pack (like an overpowered paper cut), bled all over my desk and keyboard. Colleague helpfully said "at least you've already had painkillers".
#7
I was playing a computer game sitting cross-legged for 2 hours. Got up to make dinner but had pins and needles in my leg. Took a step, went right over on my ankle and tore some ligaments. Needed surgery and 9 months of physio.
I’m not allowed to walk if I get pins and needles again.
#8
Broke a light fitting and got an electric shock trying to remove it. Called and electrician, and showed him what the problem was by touching the fitting again.
#10
A friend had her 18th in a pub in her town, whereas I live in the nearby city. We all left the pub they had their party at to continue the night back at theirs.
All the people ahead of me were walking down the long and winding path to leave through the gate. Directly in front of the exit was a small stone wall about 2ft high at most, and that was a significantly quicker route.
Obviously I was smarter than everyone who lived in this area and had been to this pub a million times, so I casually hopped over the little wall.
Turns out it's 2ft high facing the pub, but about 8ft high on the other side. I broke my ankle and collapsed like a sack of s**t. Struggled and limped all the way back to her house and assured myself it was just a sprain until the following morning when I couldn't walk at all and my mum had to come get me to go to A&E.
#11
I was playing cricket and at tea I was walking back from the clubhouse, fell over fresh air and trying to protect my pork pies & vital goodies I broke 2 fingers.
#12
Paper cut both of my eyeballs when I was tickling my eyelashes with the edge of a magazine as I watched TV (why, I don't know). Our dog next to me barked, made me jump which shoved the edges of the pages into my eyes.
I think the Dr at the hospital was even judging my stupidity.
Sue Denham 1 month ago
I'm more concerned that you didn't have the smarts to tell the doctor "My dog had the magazine in its mouth and pushed it in my eye".
#13
A dog fell off a 3rd floor balcony and landed on my head.
Knocked me onto the iron gate of our ground floor flat and I fracture my jaw.
#14
I once slammed my head in my own car door. I was trying to slide into the driver's seat and close the door behind me all in one fluid motion but I mis-timed it somehow and trapped my head between the top of the door frame and the car roof.
It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't done it directly in front of my girlfriend's parents who were waving me off after I had met them for the first time ever. I had to pretend I was fine, then drove around the corner to clutch my head in my hands for a few minutes and try not to throw up.
1brokegirl 1 month ago
I've done this! I didn't seriously hurt myself or get a concussion and it was seriously funny! Lol I'm pretty sure I was alone if not with my boyfriend when I went to get in tried to do the same thing but one of my body parts didn't listen correctly lmfao! Just closed it enough to know I did it! Just stupid enough to know I did it and laugh about it!!
#15
I'm a wheelchair user and I once tried to show off in a club by getting up this pretty big step to dance on the raised area. Fell backwards and basically punched the floor when I landed, breaking my hand (though I didn't realise until the next day)
About 2 minutes later my partner tried to do the exact same thing and got a nearly identical injury
Who could have predicted that taking a GIANT step (like 4x the size of a curb) with no run up, on a slippy dance floor with slippy wheels, and nothing to grab on to, could have POSSIBLY gone wrong.... not us, apparently.
#16
Three spring to mind.
The first - I was grabbing a can of polish from under the sink and when I pulled it out, I jerked my arm too viciously and smacked myself in the face. Gave myself a black eye and a headache.
The second - at work, I was taking some money out the till to put in the safe. Had to be quick as it was super busy. Grabbed the Dosh, ran to the coded door, put the wrong code in and rather than push the door open, I walked right into it...it didn't open because I put the wrong code in. Another black eye, eyebrow piercing bled, and I smacked my head so hard into the door that I gave myself concussion and had to go home.
The third - in college, a friend and I decided to bunk off for the day and make cake. My mum had an electric mixer stick thing and I was showing my friend K how to scrape the excess mixture out of the hollow bit where the blade sits without hurting yourself. She was holding the stick so we could both see it...and she turned it on with my finger still inside. It didn't sever the finger, but now my left index finger has a big scar and no feeling in the place above where the blade hit. After we got to the hospital and got everything sorted, she said to me "do you think we could still make cake with the batter if we scoop your blood out of it?" No, Kirk. No.
I am one of the clumsiest people alive and fall down the stairs almost every day, so there's probably more but those are the 3 that I think of regularly.
Jessica Shookhoff 1 month ago
I think you should see a Neurologist as falling down the stairs that often isn't normal. There may be a treatment that could help you with that.
#17
Where to start…
Stabbed myself in the foot with a garden fork while aggressively aerating my garden. Figured ouch but it’ll be fine. The next day it was twice the size and a very ugly shade of purple. Ended up in A&E on an antibiotic drip plus a course of antibiotics to take home and a tetanus jab.
Sawed my thumb with a bow saw.
Chopped the same thumb on the same day with an axe. Luckily I was only a kid at that point so not strong enough to do any serious damage.
Took the front of my shin right off trying to vault a wall, I could see the bone. Also as a kid.
As an adult, I was taking a pizza out of the oven. Had a pizza stone with a metal cradle. Foolishly lifted the cradle away wearing oven gloves which had no grip and it swung round and landed on my forearm; it was a pretty nasty burn which also needed hospital attention.
There’s more, but you get the idea.
ETA I also stabbed myself in the hand separating frozen burgers with a kitchen knife. The tip of the knife came right out of the other side of my hand. Luckily it went between my metacarpals otherwise that could’ve been lasting damage.
All in all, I think I’m pretty lucky to be alive, but pretty damn stupid for not learning from any of it.
Definitely not a catnapper 1 month ago
I think the universe is trying to tell you something STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM SHARP OBJECTS
#18
When I was a teenager I was lying down in my hallway doing art coursework with a pillow underneath my elbows. Had the whole house in complete darkness apart from a small light on behind me. The phone rang and as I ran to answer it got me foot caught in me laptop wire, ripping it out from the wall, getting my balance and then tripping over the f*****g pillow. Broke 3 toes and had to crawl across the floor to see who had rang.
#19
Split my groin and d**k open as teenager by crashing a bmx into the ground after flying off the top of a half pipe and literally cocking up the landing.
sturmwesen 1 month ago
I heard a split tongue might have ehhm relationship benefits ...So what about a split d!ck?
#20
Oh I have a few...
Broke my leg slipping in a patch of booze whilst dancing enthusiastically to The Prodigy.
Broke my toe by stubbing it on a corner whilst hoovering naked.
Had to have 15 stitches in my hands when I picked my cat up to rescue it from a fight with anther cat.
Fell over putting my socks on and gave myself a black eye - I tried to break my fall, but punched myself instead.
#21
Running to catch a train after a few beers with some mates (had been watching a 5 a side legends tournament in Manchester), tried being flash by vaulting a bin at speed.
Messed up the landing and tore my right calf muscle badly, missed the train too (no they didn't wait for me).
#22
Running from the garden into the house, I jumped in through the patio doors. Except they were shut. My sister still laugh about how I boiinged off the door like a Tom and Jerry cartoon!
Dancing in my room wearing a pencil skirt. Kicked my leg up high, it whipped the other leg from under me and I landed on the floor. Luckily I was alone for that one!
Had a knife with a cover on it. Took the cover off with my thumb on the cover - of course sliced through my thumb. Bled like a bastard.
#23
Two things come to mind. Both many years ago, when at school.
1. I fractured my arm (not stupidly) so didn't do gym for a couple of months. During that time, they replaced the springboard that we used with a mini-trampoline.
First gym class I was allowed to do, we were using the mini-tramp to vault a horse. Never having used one before, I jumped on it with the same force as a springboard. I flew through the air and never touched the horse, and broke my collarbone on landing.
After that, the gym teacher called me 007, as apparently it was quite cinematic.
2. In metalwork, I'd been using a soldering iron and hung it from its hook on a rack. I misjudged it and it fell off. Without thinking I caught it in mid-air, but by the wrong end.
#24
I was removing the liquidiser blade from a stick blender and it was still plugged in. I said to myself with a loud inner voice - "DO NOT PRESS THE BUTTON" The other half of my brain heard it as "Press the button" so I did.
It wasn't so bad as the blade got stuck on the bone and didn't liquidise my finger but I couldn't bring myself to look at it until my wife, as if addressing a small child, made me.
#25
Ran over my own finger on skateboard and broke it (also had to have the nail pulled out of the same broken finger).
See also: ran over my own foot and ankle with my car.
#26
I once went on a lads holiday and broke my wrist trying to lean against a fence whilst chatting up 2 girls. turns out the fence was just some rope and i fell 10 foot off a ledge onto a balcony below. proper only fools and horses style.
#27
Was changing an office strip light and the bracket had somehow twisted itself, so I poked my (metal) Leatherman into the (live) fitting. Got an electric shock which caused me to punch myself in the face.
#28
Dismantling my old wooden shed, planks of wooden panels with long rusty nails scattered everywhere. I was rather proud of myself and then I stood on one of them at a weird angle and surely enough it was perfectly aimed for my family jewels....the pain of it made me violently stumble backwards and surely enough, I stood on another plank with big rusty nails....
#29
Slicing my hand myself with a new kitchen knife while unpackaging it, while talking about how sharp these new ones will be and being excited about it lol.
Philly Bob Squires 1 month ago
I have a kitchen knife that I call my "finger remover" because it will cut you to the bone. Ask how I know.
#30
Cutting my fingernails, didn't have clippers so carefully used a long craft knife. Sneezed and cut a 3 inch gash in the flesh by my thumb. Also got a bad habit of catching things I drop on my foot, stabbed my foot with the same knife.
What do you think ?
Ranger Kanootsen says GOODBYE! 1 month ago (edited)
I was sleeping on the roof of my house and I must have rolled off during the night. Woke up the next morning in a bush, covered in bruises and very confused
Maikku 1 month ago
I once got an eye infection after spraying parfume in my eye. I was trying to spray parfume normally and the thing didn't work. So at this point my brain stopped to function and I looked directly at the hole where the parfume is supposed to come out and pushed. It worked this time.
Littlemiss 1 month ago (edited)
Gee where do I begin? Sewed my own finger, broke the needle off in my finger and then couldn't get the broken needle out of my finger. It went in the top, bounced off the bone and out the bottom. Dropped a book under a bench, bent down to pick it up and hit my head so hard I saw stars. Slipped in the shower, hit my head as I fell and knocked myself out. Came to 20 minutes later like a turtle on its back, legs up the wall and stuck. The ER doctor insisted on a sobriety test because he didn't believe anyone could be so clumsy. Put my back out sneezing. Fell down a small flight of stairs, kicked every single step and landed on both feet. I sprained the entire top half of my body. Slipped in a puddle and broke my coccyx. Yeah I either have a death wish or God has an awful sense of humor.
Terran 1 month ago
I wanted to cut a bottle in half and took it in my left hand and stabbed it with a knife. I stabbed through the bottle into my hand, about 1,5cm deep. Another time I was sharpening tools for work and tested the sharpness with my finger. Proud to say they were very sharp (and my finger very hurt).
brittany 1 month ago
my grandpa owned a horse farm. i climbed after him through a barbed wire fence to see the horses, lost my balance and landed straight on my elbow. shoved my elbow up into the next bone, splitting it. 0/10 would not recommend. ive also stepped on my own hand and boob before
Liz The Biz 1 month ago
This happened quite recently. I went to put the bins out for collection and as it was a warm sunny morning I didn't bother to put anything on my feet. One of the bins was much heavier than I was expecting and I couldn't shift it. I managed to lift it slightly but I immediately dropped it right onto my big toe. This was about 4 months ago and my toe is still not a pretty sight. A few weeks later I dropped a box of heavy books onto the same foot.
Toothless Feline 1 month ago
Most of mine are from my childhood. On my fifth birthday, I tried to stand up inside a bookcase. My scalp got five stitches. I once tried going down the backyard slide with a plastic croquet mallet in my mouth (pointing forward). The mallet hit the ground and the end of the handle scraped up the back of my throat horribly. I stepped off my bed and fell on a Fisher-Price Little People toy castle face first, knocking out a baby tooth and twisting the underlying adult tooth in its socket. Lower front tooth, still twisted. And, the piece de resistance, one day my sister was turning around in a circle holding a four-foot branch, swinging it around, and I walked into the sharp point on the end. Scratched my left cornea, and I had to wear an eyepatch for two weeks. My eye doctor suspects that this is the primary reason my left eye is more severely nearsighted than my right.
Kristen Woehlke 1 month ago
Thanksgiving 2011, walked my dog in the back yard. Stepped in a mole hole, broke my ankle. Thought I got a nice sprain. Got up for breakfast the next day, fell on my face and crawled to the kitchen. 2019, woken up by the same dog to go out. Cat dashed between my legs, I tripped and slammed my face into the door frame... Woke up with a black eye. Damn, but I do miss my dog (no, seriously, I do!)
Seedy Vine 1 month ago
One time I was washing dishes a little too enthusiastically and ended up impaling my wrist on the tines of a fork. The forks now go tines-side down into the dish rack in my household.
B 1 month ago
I went for the school high jump record many years ago. I actually made it, but landed badly - with my knee in my face. Lost two front teeth, and decades later I still have issues with the replacements (teeth, not knee, which was okay). To this day I'm convinced not a single person recorded that high jump record.
Tobias Reaper 1 month ago
ok here we go while working on a Deli counter closing it down we had machine that holds a roll of cling film or seran wrap it has lid that you slam down over it when you pull it out and a blade that cuts it with a sticker that says concealed blade. It started slipping off the counter so i grabbed the bottom part with the blade ouch. When i was about 4 or 5 i was playing with a spring unwinding it and wound it right into my finger. My mum called an ambulance the guy on the phone thought she said string so thought it was joke it gets even worse. At this time in the UK ambulances were on strike so a police van turned up instead.
Bex 1 month ago
I know a guy who swallowed a bee when he was a kid. He was just talking, the bee flew in his mouth towards the back of it, and he panicked and swallowed it. It stung him on the inside of his throat as he swallowed it.
Philly Bob Squires 1 month ago
My (then) 15 year old daughter took 14 stitches in her foot from a falling butter knife. One of the dullest damned knives in the kitchen. 14 stitches. Doc said she'd had been better off if the knife was sharp as it would have only just stuck.
IamMe 1 month ago
I'm very clumsy, so I hurt myself a lot. The funniest looking, was probably when I stepped on a garden rake, cartoon style, and hit myself in the face. It knocked me out, and I landed in a wood pile, which collapsed on top of me. I had cuts and bruises from head to toe, but luckily only broke a hand. The scariest, for me, was when I was dragging an old, broken, bookcase outside. Somehow, one of the shelves fell off, and landed screw down on my wrist. It was a long screw, and went all the way through. I was home alone, with toddlers, and 80 miles from the nearest hospital, so I walked to my neighbors house, with the board still attached, terrified that I would bleed out if I removed it. Somehow, the screw had gone between the tendon, and big vein, so I just needed stitches and antibiotics.
Paulina 1 month ago (edited)
Not me, but coworker way back: Our store had glass front with one door that was fitted with customer counting device. So when we went in or out of the store, we would duck at the threshold as to not be counted. We were super used to it, but one day a coworker somehow missed the entrance and ran head first into the glass wall. And because he was mid manoeuver of ducking and swiftly getting back up, he added extra strength to the impact. He nearly fainted and got a mild concussion. And yes, our glass wall was fitted with painted lines, to make extra sure people wouldn't get confused.
Panda Bear 1 month ago
Some of these people need to be put in protective bubbles for their own safety
Ellen Townsend 1 month ago
My son sold Cutco knives one summer. They are the sharpest things. Everyone I know who's bought them has sliced themselves - me included!
DramaDoc 1 month ago
When I was 21, there was an unfortunate 18 month period where I made numerous calls to my mom that all began: "I'm in the ER, but I'm ok..." Here are the highlights: * Asked another student to hold a 2" x 4" so it didn't land on my head. Kid got distracted and it landed on my head giving me a concussion * Broke my right hand operating a slip stage when my hand got caught in the winch (still have never damage in that hand) * Put a 3" pneumatic staple through my hand on the recoil * Stood up too quickly, slammed my head on some metal steps that were part of a set = concussion * Was so overworked, I ended up admitted to the hospital for dehydration and exhaustion * My boss set me on fire teaching me how to weld aluminum * I set me on fire welding aluminum * Didn't realize a batten was so close, stood up and gave myself a concussion * Rewiring a 2PNG stage pin connector and slipped with the screwdriver putting it into my hand Shockingly, I still work in theatre today...
Mr. Toast 1 month ago
We need one of those hospital emergency room stories about items stuck where they shouldn't be. Always good for a laugh on 3 counts - the item, the lies told how it got in there as we all know the real reason and how they got it out. The best from a UK medical journal required retrieval using a broom handle and plaster of paris.
Rick Seiden 1 month ago
I was drying my hair after a shower when I was in high school and had to sneeze. I decided to really let it go, sneezed so hard I doubled over and cracked my forehead on the counter on the way down.
Jessica Shookhoff 1 month ago
People. Seriously, people. Unplug or flip off the fuse. ANYTHING that is powered by electricity. Just do it. Don't be lazy. Just. Friggity. Do. It. -From your Internet Mom
distant_echo 1 month ago
1. Trying on a pair of pants, foot got caught up and I sprained my ankle. 2. I went on a cruise, developed Covid halfway through the week and had to stay in my room. The day before we were to leave, I stubbed my toe on a chair in the room and broke my toe.
Beartholomew 1 month ago
Tried to be cute and crawl up the stairs. I slipped on the carpet and broken my toe. Few years later got 2nd degree burn on my pinky from a Pop tart.
Chewie Baron 1 month ago
I once stabbed myself on the top of my arm with a wooden clothes peg whilst hanging out washing. Still have the scar.
Petra Schaap 1 month ago
just minor. was at a concert drinking from a plastic cup. Cup was empty but for some reason i kept it in my mouth by the edge and was chewing on it. Edge broke and the two sharp parts stabbed into my lip. I couldnt get it off, so i ran to the bathroom for the mirror and very carefully pried it off. With audience.
Krissy Bulan 1 month ago
I was flicking open a paper grocery bag at the store and the corner stabbed me right in my eye. So painful! A trip to the ER showed I scratched my cornea pretty badly. No permanent damage though.
Disgruntled Pelican 1 month ago
Finally! My time to shine! 1. Threw my neck out blowing my nose. 2. Pulled a neck muscle putting on a sweater. 3. Got a speck of metal embedded in my eyeball by simply walking into a shop, then had to have said metal scraped off (not fun at 10 years old). 4. Got 2nd degree burns from accidentally having a 30 cup pot of freshly made coffee spilled own my back. 5. Lost my big toenail as a child while playing on a scooter. 6. Ripped a ligament in my foot playing basketball because the other girl would not get off so I tried to yank my foot out and heard the distinct pop.
Daune Tullina 1 month ago
I once burned my eyeball with a curling iron. The damn thing slipped of my bangs and went right into my eye. I was s pirate for a week as it healed. Stupidly painful as well
CG 1 month ago
I got two. The first isn't technically an injury, but I hyperextended my right ring finger while I was warming up for Jiu-Jitsu. Coach told me to do laps inside the cage, and my finger got caught in one of the cage rings/loops. The second is that I cut my the palm of my left hand with a dull butter knife trying to separate frozen burger patties. Luckily, I didn't bleed on any of the food, and it was a small cut. Then I cleaned the cut, bandaged my hand, and continued cooking.
Stardust she/her 1 month ago
There’s a long story but I’ll save time and just say I nearly lost my virginity because of a locker door. I also managed to get high off a sandwich which gave me a headache
sturmwesen 1 month ago
You know those electric bread and ham slicers? I got a nice big scar telling me where left is on my thumb...on the way to the hospital we had an accident and my mom needed a neck brace. Good thing we were on our way to the hospital anyway.
Ranger Kanootsen says GOODBYE! 1 month ago (edited)
I was sleeping on the roof of my house and I must have rolled off during the night. Woke up the next morning in a bush, covered in bruises and very confused
Maikku 1 month ago
I once got an eye infection after spraying parfume in my eye. I was trying to spray parfume normally and the thing didn't work. So at this point my brain stopped to function and I looked directly at the hole where the parfume is supposed to come out and pushed. It worked this time.
Littlemiss 1 month ago (edited)
Gee where do I begin? Sewed my own finger, broke the needle off in my finger and then couldn't get the broken needle out of my finger. It went in the top, bounced off the bone and out the bottom. Dropped a book under a bench, bent down to pick it up and hit my head so hard I saw stars. Slipped in the shower, hit my head as I fell and knocked myself out. Came to 20 minutes later like a turtle on its back, legs up the wall and stuck. The ER doctor insisted on a sobriety test because he didn't believe anyone could be so clumsy. Put my back out sneezing. Fell down a small flight of stairs, kicked every single step and landed on both feet. I sprained the entire top half of my body. Slipped in a puddle and broke my coccyx. Yeah I either have a death wish or God has an awful sense of humor.
Terran 1 month ago
I wanted to cut a bottle in half and took it in my left hand and stabbed it with a knife. I stabbed through the bottle into my hand, about 1,5cm deep. Another time I was sharpening tools for work and tested the sharpness with my finger. Proud to say they were very sharp (and my finger very hurt).
brittany 1 month ago
my grandpa owned a horse farm. i climbed after him through a barbed wire fence to see the horses, lost my balance and landed straight on my elbow. shoved my elbow up into the next bone, splitting it. 0/10 would not recommend. ive also stepped on my own hand and boob before
Liz The Biz 1 month ago
This happened quite recently. I went to put the bins out for collection and as it was a warm sunny morning I didn't bother to put anything on my feet. One of the bins was much heavier than I was expecting and I couldn't shift it. I managed to lift it slightly but I immediately dropped it right onto my big toe. This was about 4 months ago and my toe is still not a pretty sight. A few weeks later I dropped a box of heavy books onto the same foot.
Toothless Feline 1 month ago
Most of mine are from my childhood. On my fifth birthday, I tried to stand up inside a bookcase. My scalp got five stitches. I once tried going down the backyard slide with a plastic croquet mallet in my mouth (pointing forward). The mallet hit the ground and the end of the handle scraped up the back of my throat horribly. I stepped off my bed and fell on a Fisher-Price Little People toy castle face first, knocking out a baby tooth and twisting the underlying adult tooth in its socket. Lower front tooth, still twisted. And, the piece de resistance, one day my sister was turning around in a circle holding a four-foot branch, swinging it around, and I walked into the sharp point on the end. Scratched my left cornea, and I had to wear an eyepatch for two weeks. My eye doctor suspects that this is the primary reason my left eye is more severely nearsighted than my right.
Kristen Woehlke 1 month ago
Thanksgiving 2011, walked my dog in the back yard. Stepped in a mole hole, broke my ankle. Thought I got a nice sprain. Got up for breakfast the next day, fell on my face and crawled to the kitchen. 2019, woken up by the same dog to go out. Cat dashed between my legs, I tripped and slammed my face into the door frame... Woke up with a black eye. Damn, but I do miss my dog (no, seriously, I do!)
Seedy Vine 1 month ago
One time I was washing dishes a little too enthusiastically and ended up impaling my wrist on the tines of a fork. The forks now go tines-side down into the dish rack in my household.
B 1 month ago
I went for the school high jump record many years ago. I actually made it, but landed badly - with my knee in my face. Lost two front teeth, and decades later I still have issues with the replacements (teeth, not knee, which was okay). To this day I'm convinced not a single person recorded that high jump record.
Tobias Reaper 1 month ago
ok here we go while working on a Deli counter closing it down we had machine that holds a roll of cling film or seran wrap it has lid that you slam down over it when you pull it out and a blade that cuts it with a sticker that says concealed blade. It started slipping off the counter so i grabbed the bottom part with the blade ouch. When i was about 4 or 5 i was playing with a spring unwinding it and wound it right into my finger. My mum called an ambulance the guy on the phone thought she said string so thought it was joke it gets even worse. At this time in the UK ambulances were on strike so a police van turned up instead.
Bex 1 month ago
I know a guy who swallowed a bee when he was a kid. He was just talking, the bee flew in his mouth towards the back of it, and he panicked and swallowed it. It stung him on the inside of his throat as he swallowed it.
Philly Bob Squires 1 month ago
My (then) 15 year old daughter took 14 stitches in her foot from a falling butter knife. One of the dullest damned knives in the kitchen. 14 stitches. Doc said she'd had been better off if the knife was sharp as it would have only just stuck.
IamMe 1 month ago
I'm very clumsy, so I hurt myself a lot. The funniest looking, was probably when I stepped on a garden rake, cartoon style, and hit myself in the face. It knocked me out, and I landed in a wood pile, which collapsed on top of me. I had cuts and bruises from head to toe, but luckily only broke a hand. The scariest, for me, was when I was dragging an old, broken, bookcase outside. Somehow, one of the shelves fell off, and landed screw down on my wrist. It was a long screw, and went all the way through. I was home alone, with toddlers, and 80 miles from the nearest hospital, so I walked to my neighbors house, with the board still attached, terrified that I would bleed out if I removed it. Somehow, the screw had gone between the tendon, and big vein, so I just needed stitches and antibiotics.
Paulina 1 month ago (edited)
Not me, but coworker way back: Our store had glass front with one door that was fitted with customer counting device. So when we went in or out of the store, we would duck at the threshold as to not be counted. We were super used to it, but one day a coworker somehow missed the entrance and ran head first into the glass wall. And because he was mid manoeuver of ducking and swiftly getting back up, he added extra strength to the impact. He nearly fainted and got a mild concussion. And yes, our glass wall was fitted with painted lines, to make extra sure people wouldn't get confused.
Panda Bear 1 month ago
Some of these people need to be put in protective bubbles for their own safety
Ellen Townsend 1 month ago
My son sold Cutco knives one summer. They are the sharpest things. Everyone I know who's bought them has sliced themselves - me included!
DramaDoc 1 month ago
When I was 21, there was an unfortunate 18 month period where I made numerous calls to my mom that all began: "I'm in the ER, but I'm ok..." Here are the highlights: * Asked another student to hold a 2" x 4" so it didn't land on my head. Kid got distracted and it landed on my head giving me a concussion * Broke my right hand operating a slip stage when my hand got caught in the winch (still have never damage in that hand) * Put a 3" pneumatic staple through my hand on the recoil * Stood up too quickly, slammed my head on some metal steps that were part of a set = concussion * Was so overworked, I ended up admitted to the hospital for dehydration and exhaustion * My boss set me on fire teaching me how to weld aluminum * I set me on fire welding aluminum * Didn't realize a batten was so close, stood up and gave myself a concussion * Rewiring a 2PNG stage pin connector and slipped with the screwdriver putting it into my hand Shockingly, I still work in theatre today...
Mr. Toast 1 month ago
We need one of those hospital emergency room stories about items stuck where they shouldn't be. Always good for a laugh on 3 counts - the item, the lies told how it got in there as we all know the real reason and how they got it out. The best from a UK medical journal required retrieval using a broom handle and plaster of paris.
Rick Seiden 1 month ago
I was drying my hair after a shower when I was in high school and had to sneeze. I decided to really let it go, sneezed so hard I doubled over and cracked my forehead on the counter on the way down.
Jessica Shookhoff 1 month ago
People. Seriously, people. Unplug or flip off the fuse. ANYTHING that is powered by electricity. Just do it. Don't be lazy. Just. Friggity. Do. It. -From your Internet Mom
distant_echo 1 month ago
1. Trying on a pair of pants, foot got caught up and I sprained my ankle. 2. I went on a cruise, developed Covid halfway through the week and had to stay in my room. The day before we were to leave, I stubbed my toe on a chair in the room and broke my toe.
Beartholomew 1 month ago
Tried to be cute and crawl up the stairs. I slipped on the carpet and broken my toe. Few years later got 2nd degree burn on my pinky from a Pop tart.
Chewie Baron 1 month ago
I once stabbed myself on the top of my arm with a wooden clothes peg whilst hanging out washing. Still have the scar.
Petra Schaap 1 month ago
just minor. was at a concert drinking from a plastic cup. Cup was empty but for some reason i kept it in my mouth by the edge and was chewing on it. Edge broke and the two sharp parts stabbed into my lip. I couldnt get it off, so i ran to the bathroom for the mirror and very carefully pried it off. With audience.
Krissy Bulan 1 month ago
I was flicking open a paper grocery bag at the store and the corner stabbed me right in my eye. So painful! A trip to the ER showed I scratched my cornea pretty badly. No permanent damage though.
Disgruntled Pelican 1 month ago
Finally! My time to shine! 1. Threw my neck out blowing my nose. 2. Pulled a neck muscle putting on a sweater. 3. Got a speck of metal embedded in my eyeball by simply walking into a shop, then had to have said metal scraped off (not fun at 10 years old). 4. Got 2nd degree burns from accidentally having a 30 cup pot of freshly made coffee spilled own my back. 5. Lost my big toenail as a child while playing on a scooter. 6. Ripped a ligament in my foot playing basketball because the other girl would not get off so I tried to yank my foot out and heard the distinct pop.
Daune Tullina 1 month ago
I once burned my eyeball with a curling iron. The damn thing slipped of my bangs and went right into my eye. I was s pirate for a week as it healed. Stupidly painful as well
CG 1 month ago
I got two. The first isn't technically an injury, but I hyperextended my right ring finger while I was warming up for Jiu-Jitsu. Coach told me to do laps inside the cage, and my finger got caught in one of the cage rings/loops. The second is that I cut my the palm of my left hand with a dull butter knife trying to separate frozen burger patties. Luckily, I didn't bleed on any of the food, and it was a small cut. Then I cleaned the cut, bandaged my hand, and continued cooking.
Stardust she/her 1 month ago
There’s a long story but I’ll save time and just say I nearly lost my virginity because of a locker door. I also managed to get high off a sandwich which gave me a headache
sturmwesen 1 month ago
You know those electric bread and ham slicers? I got a nice big scar telling me where left is on my thumb...on the way to the hospital we had an accident and my mom needed a neck brace. Good thing we were on our way to the hospital anyway.
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