40 Of The Worst Newspaper Headlines To Make You Facepalm At The Stupidity

There is hardly anything better than waking up at the crack of dawn and making some English breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, fried tomatoes and mushrooms, a bit of toast with marmalade, and a large mug of Earl Grey tea. And what better way to enjoy this feast than by eating it whilst you read the morning newspapers?

Unfortunately, some newspaper headlines can make us do a spit-take and drench the entire page in delicious tea (splash of milk, no sugar). You know the type of headlines that I mean: unintentionally amusing, very silly, and quite obvious how stupid they are if the overworked editors would look at them with a pair of fresh eyes.

Our team at Bored Panda has run, flown, and swum all over the planet looking for hilarious and idiotic newspaper articles, all for your amusement. So put your reading glasses on, scroll down, and upvote the headlines you enjoyed. We’d love to hear about any peculiar and giggle-worthy headlines that you’ve come across; even better if you’ve come up with them yourselves!

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I adore newspapers, just like I love books, writing things in notebooks, watering my ficus tree, and sketching on real paper. They’re real things that don’t disappear once the power goes out, the internet goes down, or the moment a zombie outbreak starts (Max Brooks’ ‘The Zombie Survival Guide’ will be worth its weight in gold then and I keep it by my bed at all times). However, times are changing. More and more news and entertainment can be found in the digital world. Which means that the print media industry is slowly declining.

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For example, in 2018, weekday print newspaper circulation in the United States decreased by 12 percent, while Sunday circulation fell by 13 percent, according to the Pew Research Center.

What this means is that on Sundays, when most Americans have more free time, they’d rather do something else than buy a newspaper; like browse the internet.

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And the situation is only getting worse for newspaper journalists and other staff members. Based on the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Occupational Employment Statistics, in 2018, 37,900 people worked in the newspaper industry as reporters, editors, photographers, film or video editors. That is 14 percent fewer employees than in 2015, and a whopping 47 percent less than in 2004.

Do you think that newspapers have a future, dear Readers? Would you like to see a Bored Panda newspaper? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!

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Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

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I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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What do you think ?

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Lucas 5 years ago

Great start to a Monday morning!! Now just have to try and force myself to actually DO something bar read Bored Panda.

38points

Foxxy 5 years ago (edited)

I am surprised there isn't many from the NT (northern territory) News. They are renowned for their funny headlines. A few examples are "why I stuck a cracker up my clacker", "Catnappers shaved my pussy", "trouser snake on a plane", "check out my flaps" and "game of phones" etc

13points

J.Labuschagné 5 years ago

Quite a few of these are actually good. Funny, Ironic or purposefully obtuse, but good.

7points

Nea 5 years ago

It would be fun to write for these newspapers.

3points

Amber Cook 5 years ago

These were a good laugh for sure! I'm so glad I'm from Utah and the news with Poison Control reminds us all 'Not to take poison'!

2points

Uwe Theiss 5 years ago

Most countries have socially accepted tradions of poisoning yourself. So a reminder is not that bad.

-1point

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bert dandy 3 years ago

Our local paper here in Niagara Falls, Canada just published a headline reading, "Homeless sex offender sentenced to house arrest"

1point

Jo Choto 5 years ago

Where are all the "Florida man" headlines!?

1point

Jackson Harmer 4 years ago

Yeah!

0points

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Lana Raven 5 years ago

This post and it's comments reaaally made me laugh!!!

1point

Thomas Heien 2 years ago

Newspaper in Houston posted today ‘“Death was too good for him” says stepmother of slain 16-year-old teen in Humble’. Taken out of context it sounds like she’s an evil person, but the victim was her stepdaughter.

0points

Person #1,051 3 years ago

My face hurts from laughing...

0points

Tom Wagner 4 years ago

Sure, they're funny... But I read most of these years ago. Where have YOU been?

0points

Boris McGooligan 4 years ago

Great headlines! I saw one a few years ago in the Newcastle Evening Chronicle, it read: WOMAN HIT IN SNATCH

0points

TC 5 years ago

These are not the worst ones I've seen

0points

Suzanne 5 years ago

All the editors must have been napping during the night shift.

0points

Karen Klinck 5 years ago

Can I get a job with one of these, actually proofreading instead of just collecting the salary?

0points

Borgia 137 5 years ago

I loved these. Cried laughing 😂🤣. Thank you 😘

0points

Felicia Dale 5 years ago

Once, while crossing the midwest, my husband and I spotted a newspaper with this headline: "Today's Weather. Is It Out Of Control?" I so wish we'd bought a copy!

0points

John Lang 5 years ago

Trust the Illawarra Mercury to stuff up a simple article headline and run with an editorial direction instead!! Nothing wrong with the article itself, the content of which suggests that it is from either late last year or early this year.

0points

Glynis Lailann 5 years ago

This article is giving me toothache.

0points

nala simba 5 years ago

"Shell found on beach!" Is one of my faves.

0points

Cenk Karaferya 5 years ago

Just wow! Lol

0points

Larry Huffman 3 years ago

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-1point

Dog Lover 5 years ago

My response to all of these is ‘No s**t Sherlock’

-1point

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Lucas 5 years ago

Great start to a Monday morning!! Now just have to try and force myself to actually DO something bar read Bored Panda.

38points

Foxxy 5 years ago (edited)

13points

J.Labuschagné 5 years ago

Quite a few of these are actually good. Funny, Ironic or purposefully obtuse, but good.

7points

Nea 5 years ago

It would be fun to write for these newspapers.

3points

Amber Cook 5 years ago

These were a good laugh for sure! I'm so glad I'm from Utah and the news with Poison Control reminds us all 'Not to take poison'!

2points

Uwe Theiss 5 years ago

Most countries have socially accepted tradions of poisoning yourself. So a reminder is not that bad.

-1point

Load More Replies...

bert dandy 3 years ago

Our local paper here in Niagara Falls, Canada just published a headline reading, "Homeless sex offender sentenced to house arrest"

1point

Jo Choto 5 years ago

Where are all the "Florida man" headlines!?

1point

Jackson Harmer 4 years ago

Yeah!

0points

Load More Replies...

Lana Raven 5 years ago

This post and it's comments reaaally made me laugh!!!

1point

Thomas Heien 2 years ago

0points

Person #1,051 3 years ago

My face hurts from laughing...

0points

Tom Wagner 4 years ago

Sure, they're funny... But I read most of these years ago. Where have YOU been?

0points

Boris McGooligan 4 years ago

Great headlines! I saw one a few years ago in the Newcastle Evening Chronicle, it read: WOMAN HIT IN SNATCH

0points

TC 5 years ago

These are not the worst ones I've seen

0points

Suzanne 5 years ago

All the editors must have been napping during the night shift.

0points

Karen Klinck 5 years ago

Can I get a job with one of these, actually proofreading instead of just collecting the salary?

0points

Borgia 137 5 years ago

I loved these. Cried laughing 😂🤣. Thank you 😘

0points

Felicia Dale 5 years ago

Once, while crossing the midwest, my husband and I spotted a newspaper with this headline: "Today's Weather. Is It Out Of Control?" I so wish we'd bought a copy!

0points

John Lang 5 years ago

0points

Glynis Lailann 5 years ago

This article is giving me toothache.

0points

nala simba 5 years ago

"Shell found on beach!" Is one of my faves.

0points

Cenk Karaferya 5 years ago

Just wow! Lol

0points

Larry Huffman 3 years ago

-1point

Dog Lover 5 years ago

My response to all of these is ‘No s**t Sherlock’

-1point

40 Of The Worst Newspaper Headlines To Make You Facepalm At The Stupidity

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