Rarely!?

Good thing he/she didn't become an engineer, then...

We're doing something right!!

Or maybe even 20.

Ah, I see what they did there

Perhaps that's just what they want us to think!!

Oh, wow! That must 've been unexpected..

It also says Exclusive to all newspapers and asks for contact from people who have seen her in Morocco. What trash-rag is this?

Wow! Jesus has come back!

You don't say!

Holding text that someone forgot to change. Often says Lorem Ipsum dolor...

That's why they're in charge of money and not literacy!

Bugs crawling around with feet are crawling bugs.

It was a tough day.

*slaps his leg*

Gotta pass the time while waiting for the other golfers to play their shots...

Bad man. At least we know who to blame now.

Yeah it's easier with a bridge.

Oh no!

Ah, the classics ;-)

This was intentional

Oof.

Yes they are. Especially ones with heaters.

On a separate note, that’s awesome! Means society is finally getting somewhere!

naughty babies!

Penis envy actually explains a lot of the past three years.

Yeah, no kidding.

Oh deer...

Probably laughing at how they look - some people pull some great faces when they're singing. Just look at people in cars at traffic lights singing away... look mad.

Perhaps if you change your goggles, you'd find her?

This one's actually not too bad, when you think of all the perils caused by earthquakes. The ground splitting open, fires from broken gas mains, tsunamis.....

Damn! We thought they would have died by now...

Nah, they’re a bit chewy at that age.

This headline leaves nothing to the imagination. No one will read the article if you give everything away in the headline.

Hmm, I may have a thought...

Just needs some inverted commas for that 'miracle cure'

Now what essential information you are missing here is that the Metro Herald is an Irish newspaper, very few of us know what the sun looks like!!!

Might have moobs.

Well, reading the text it sounds like they were all wasting time.

Say no more, he's immortal

So are they just gonna keep his coffin/ashes in a jail cell when he dies?

Oh that’s what the freezers are for...

Poor guy. That prisoner must have been devastated, leaving him no hope at all for a pardon or early release.

Might be a cat; they have nine lives.

Oh guys keep reading, it gets worse... He was "looking forward to 2000 years"

He gets 2000 years for kidnapping & attempted murder...but child-rapers get out in 10? 🤔

After that, whats the point of not asking for a death penalty?

this reminds me of the book The tiger’s wife

He must had been scared as hell.

Lucky guy! Want to live that long too...

I bet the original was actually 200

Life times more=till death

So, more Hammer-time.

Is he REQUIRED to serve his sentence?

And, some should.

You are now granted immortality.

They literally could've said they were seeking the Death Penalty in the Headline.