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Mom Claps Back After Constantly Having Her Kids’ Heritage Doubted, Brings Another Woman To Tears
Genetics sure knows how to create masterpieces. Imagine two of the cutest little kids you’ve ever seen, a perfect blend of two vibrant cultures, Irish and Dominican. The son, rocking his dad’s rich, dark hair and the little girl sporting her mom’s fair skin and blonde hair.
This family was a beautiful mosaic, with a Dominican last name, which raised a few eyebrows over the years, but nothing too crazy, until one day. Hold onto your hats, folks, because this story is part school drama, part genetics lesson.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Ignorant woman who just doesn’t understand how genetics work constantly makes rude comments about Irish mom and her kids’ ethnicity, gets told off by fed-up mom
Image credits: Kelly Sikkema (not the actual photo)
“You’re not Dominican”: The rude woman accused the mom of cultural appropriation, asking her why her last name is Dominican as she is obviously not
Image credits: Ok_Garage5055
Image credits: CDC (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ok_Garage5055
Image credits: Remy_Loz (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ok_Garage5055
“Are you stupid?”: The mom snaps at the intrusive parent at a school event after having had enough of her inappropriate comments about her kids’ ethnicity
The OP (original poster) is an Irish mom of 2 adorable young ones. Her husband is of Dominican heritage, so this mom is the proud owner of a popular Dominican last name. The OP’s husband’s busy work schedule means he often misses out on school events, which leaves our mom holding down the fort.
Coincidentally, in the OP’s daughter’s class, there’s another little girl who shares the same last name as our family. From the get-go, this girl’s mom has been on the OP’s case like a detective. The first time the two women met, this mom told the OP straight up: “You’re not Dominican”. The OP calmly explained that she is not Dominican, but her husband and kids are. This didn’t convince the intrusive mom, who continued by pointing out the OP’s last name: “But your last name is (x),” she insisted. Yep, sure is. Thanks for the observation, Sherlock!
Every time these two ladies have crossed paths, the rude mom has had something snarky to say about how pale the OP’s kids are or how weird it is that they don’t speak Spanish. Fun fact: the OP’s husband didn’t grow up speaking Spanish, so neither did the kids. The OP usually hasn’t let these kinds of comments bother her because, honestly, who has time for playground drama?
All was well until it was time for culture day at school. The kids made collages about their heritage, and the OP’s daughter crafted a beautiful piece with a mix of Dominican and Irish elements. As the parents admired the artwork, Miss Skeptical mom spotted the OP’s daughter’s collage and rolled her eyes so hard she thought they’d get stuck in her head. When she asked her what her problem was, she accused the OP of “faking” Dominican culture. I mean, what?!
As the OP was trying to pick up her jaw from the floor, she let a little comment slip out of her mouth before she could stop it: “Are you stupid?”. The rude mom got defensive, so the OP whipped out her phone and showed her photos of her happy, multi-ethnic family. Miss Skeptical mumbled an apology, but the OP wasn’t done with this rude lady. “Maybe research how genes work so you don’t make yourself look stupid in front of a bunch of 3rd graders,” she told her. The rude mom teared up and walked away, and the OP was left dealing with a few stink eyes from other parents.
Later, the OP recounted the whole saga to her husband, who thought she might have been a bit too harsh and what she did was a bit of an A-hole move.
Dad says mom could have handled things differently and avoided name-calling another parent
Image credits: Kelvin Moquete (not the actual photo)
It’s normal to be protective of your family, especially when someone is challenging their identity. According to an article on setting effective boundaries with a disrespectful person, the perfect formula is to “state what you don’t like or won’t accept about the person’s behavior and how it makes you feel. Then you state what you will do in the face of that behavior in the future.” After you have declared your boundaries, you must act on them, because “a boundary means nothing until you are willing to take the action”, the article states.
However, maintaining a calm demeanor and avoiding name-calling could be a more effective strategy in the long run. While the OP had good reason to be upset, calling someone stupid repeatedly probably wasn’t her best move.
Genetics can be a wild ride, with kids inheriting a mix of traits from both parents. It’s entirely possible for children to have a different skin tone from one parent while still sharing other physical characteristics. According to experts, “genes do control what your baby will ultimately end up looking like, but the thing about genes is that they are very unpredictable. Children inherit genes from each parent, but different genes turn on and even affect other genes, which can all impact their appearance.”
A little empathy might have gone a long way in our story. The other mom’s comments likely came from ignorance rather than ill intent. Maybe she needed a gentle nudge towards understanding rather than a verbal smackdown. As the saying goes, “Educate, don’t berate.” Maybe next time, a calm explanation about genetics could prevent such confrontations. While it’s important to stand up for your family, doing so with kindness and patience can often defuse situations more effectively than harsh words.
What do you think? Was the OP a jerk for calling the other mom “stupid” multiple times after she accused her of lying about her kids’ ethnicity? Share your thoughts in the comments.
People online, however, say that the rude mom has been harassing the Irish mom for a long time, calling her a liar, so she was not the jerk for telling her off
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What do you think ?
Alexandra 6 months ago
This whole culture thing is getting out of hand. Cultures change over time, they borrow from other cultures, they shed traditions, they acquire new ones....in short, a culture is always changing. 'Keep to your culture' therefore doesn't mean anything.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
I'm white, but was adopted at birth into a Mexican family. I grew up in "Mexican-American" culture. I speak Spanish. I grew up eating truly ethnic Mexican foods. I had a quinceañera (before she died, my grandma insisted and made my mom promise I would have one.) Am I Mexican? Obviously not XD But I FEEL Mexican, as that's how I was raised. Genetically, I'm a Scottish/Irish/European mutt. I LOATHE when people say "You're not IRISH, you're not ALLOWED to say you're IRISH. You're AMERICAN." Like, whoa, who made anyone the Culture Police? True appropriation is not acceptable, but true appropriation is rare.
Load More Replies...
detective miller's hat 6 months ago
I had an old co-worker who was black, and so was her husband. Their third kid came out white. Blue eyes, brown hair. There was no mix up at the hospital--both parents were in the delivery room when my coworker was handed a white child. The docs and nurses were just like ....yeah that doesn't happen often. Husband did not think she cheated, but they got DNA tests done for all of them just out of curiosity. My coworker never knew she was like 40% German.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
It's amazing how recessive genes can pop up if both parents carry them! :D I'm adopted but my sister is our parents' biological child. Our mom is Mexican, our dad was Swedish (pale blond hair, pale skin, blue eyes.) My sister looks 100% Mexican. But if she had children with someone who was blonde/blue-eyed, she could possibly have blonde/blue-eyed children. It's funny - no one thought I was adopted when I was a kid because I was blonde/blue-eyed when I was a small child. But unless my mom had recessive genes herself (unlikely, but possible), she could/would not have had a blue-eyed child even though my dad had blue eyes. Genetics are fun!
Load More Replies...
Bec 6 months ago
Side note: I have mixed feelings on the assignment. Yes, it is a great way to learn about heritage, but I would be cautious as there are adopted/foster/kids who don't have good home life who would have trouble with it.
Pamela Blue 6 months ago
I agree only to a point. The teacher would need to be sensitive to the issues, but children would never be able to do any projects on anything if the teacher had to worry about someone's sensitivities. There is ALWAYS someone who tries to put a wrench into any issue, no matter what.
Load More Replies...
Alexandra 6 months ago
This whole culture thing is getting out of hand. Cultures change over time, they borrow from other cultures, they shed traditions, they acquire new ones....in short, a culture is always changing. 'Keep to your culture' therefore doesn't mean anything.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
I'm white, but was adopted at birth into a Mexican family. I grew up in "Mexican-American" culture. I speak Spanish. I grew up eating truly ethnic Mexican foods. I had a quinceañera (before she died, my grandma insisted and made my mom promise I would have one.) Am I Mexican? Obviously not XD But I FEEL Mexican, as that's how I was raised. Genetically, I'm a Scottish/Irish/European mutt. I LOATHE when people say "You're not IRISH, you're not ALLOWED to say you're IRISH. You're AMERICAN." Like, whoa, who made anyone the Culture Police? True appropriation is not acceptable, but true appropriation is rare.
Load More Replies... detective miller's hat 6 months ago
I had an old co-worker who was black, and so was her husband. Their third kid came out white. Blue eyes, brown hair. There was no mix up at the hospital--both parents were in the delivery room when my coworker was handed a white child. The docs and nurses were just like ....yeah that doesn't happen often. Husband did not think she cheated, but they got DNA tests done for all of them just out of curiosity. My coworker never knew she was like 40% German.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 6 months ago
It's amazing how recessive genes can pop up if both parents carry them! :D I'm adopted but my sister is our parents' biological child. Our mom is Mexican, our dad was Swedish (pale blond hair, pale skin, blue eyes.) My sister looks 100% Mexican. But if she had children with someone who was blonde/blue-eyed, she could possibly have blonde/blue-eyed children. It's funny - no one thought I was adopted when I was a kid because I was blonde/blue-eyed when I was a small child. But unless my mom had recessive genes herself (unlikely, but possible), she could/would not have had a blue-eyed child even though my dad had blue eyes. Genetics are fun!
Load More Replies... Bec 6 months ago
Side note: I have mixed feelings on the assignment. Yes, it is a great way to learn about heritage, but I would be cautious as there are adopted/foster/kids who don't have good home life who would have trouble with it.
Pamela Blue 6 months ago
I agree only to a point. The teacher would need to be sensitive to the issues, but children would never be able to do any projects on anything if the teacher had to worry about someone's sensitivities. There is ALWAYS someone who tries to put a wrench into any issue, no matter what.
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