Join the Fun!

Well, despite that fact that I'm a 210 pound, masculine former rugby player who drives a pickup and has been married to the same woman for 31 years, i am in fact gay because: * I cook * I like a grande no-whip mocha * I wash my a*s * I say "Good morning" to other dudes * I sometimes drink fruity cocktails * I like chocolate, deserts and sometimes Luna bars * I use a rolling suitcase and wear sunscreen * I like the occassional rom-com and British period piece. Geez, it's amazing I'm not living in a bathhouse.... WTF?

jaywayhon Report

Final score:

420points

POST

Riche White 1 year ago

Right on, Brother!

91points

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) Real Men don't show their own children affection or accept affection from them, apparently.

Edit: Holy s**t this blew up. On behalf of all dads out there, I’m sending all of you a virtual hug. Every kid deserves to know they’re loved.

Rahkyvah , Kampus Production Report

Final score:

332points

POST

Thiago Gonsalves 1 year ago

There's no better feeling in the world than hugging my kids.

100points

We wanted to get the thread author's thoughts on why their thread got so much attention on the internet. According to them, Reddit is "still male-dominated," which is why the topic made such a big splash.

"We as a society haven't really focused much on the 'old school' pressures we still put on men to appear stoic/strong/etc.," they told Bored Panda.

We asked redditor u/callmevicious about what could help someone become more aware that they might have toxic masculine values. "Repression leads to perversion. If you feel uncomfortable expressing certain emotions, that's something you need to work on," the OP shared their thoughts.

"A certain portion of the population still feels there is a social stigma attached to men expressing emotional vulnerability. It's when men bottle things up that they begin to feel desperate and feel compelled to reach out to the more extreme male-dominated, and toxic, corners of the internet, looking for understanding."

Real men don't eat bananas. I just went to a bachelor party where I was the only gay man. I flew in from out of town so I asked the person buying the food for the weekend to get me some bananas for my breakfast. No one else would eat a banana that weekend. One guy even cracked a joke about how it was gay to eat a banana. When I eat a banana I'm thinking about a banana. If you think about a p***s when you see a banana, maybe you have some unresolved issues.

2_Fives Report

Final score:

329points

POST

Miss Frankfurter 1 year ago

BP!!! Please get over your prudishness about even actual medical names for body parts being typed entirely out, for real. A P3nis is a penis. A v@gin@ is a vagina. Get over it!!

167points

Anything behind that is stupid. Literally anything. There is no such thing as "real men". If you identify as a man, you are a man, no matter what you wear, how you behave, what you do for a living and what gender your partner is.

This "real men don't" should go die in a fire, no matter what follows behind it.

Haliwe Report

Final score:

323points

POST

ॐBoyGanesh 1 year ago

I’m more of a real man than anyone who tries to qualify something as “real men” and I’m the queerest gay homo fae fāg on the planet.

143points

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) "Real men don't order dessert."

I'm sorry, it's "gay" to like sugar? This real man is gonna deep throat a bananas foster while holding eye contact with you the entire time.

tall_pale_and_meh , Ron Lach Report

Final score:

284points

POST

Rebekah 1 year ago

".... deep throat a bananas foster while holding eye contact..." I'm dying here.

178points

send_cat_pictures , Hobbies on a Budget Report

Meanwhile, the redditor shed some light on the main signs of someone who has embraced healthy masculinity. In their opinion, dignity and integrity are the most vital.

"Respect for yourself and others, particularly those who may be more vulnerable or face more of a struggle than you do. Having a sense of community is crucial; feeling both responsible for and needed by those around you," they said.

"One of the most oft-cited quotes on Reddit is, 'A child that is not embraced by the village will burn it down to feel its warmth.' A lot of these guys feel not only isolated but unwanted. The only solution for it is to leave your keyboard and actually interact with people, without the buffer of a screen between you."

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) I was at Joanns and the man behind me in line was buying something for his wife and didn't have any coupons. I told him about the app and the website and offered to pull up my coupons for him to use.

He laughed and said "Boys don't use coupons"

So weird. It's free money. How fragile is your masculinity that you pay full price when you don't have to.

Final score:

273points

POST

tuzdayschild 1 year ago

So what? Real men don't like money?

77points

Change diapers.
We had four kids and I was a union steel worker. I took a withdrawal on the union card because the cost of daycare for children was just ridiculous, so my wife, who was a school teacher carried the benefits and I stayed home with our last kid.
I had more than one ironworker tell me that real men don’t change diapers.
I asked them what they would do if their kid had a dirty diaper, and they all said the same thing.
They would have to sit in it until the wife got home.
It was then I realized how ignorant these guys were.

wyopapa25 Report

Final score:

238points

POST

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago

So real men maliciously neglect their children's basic needs?

206points

ticklish_stank_tater , cottonbro studio Report

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) My dad told me once, "Men don't say thingy."

And frankly I agree. A man should speak eloquently. Be sure to enunciate. A say specifically what you mean.

Besides, there are way better words than 'thingy".

For example, doohickey, thingamajig, whatchyacallit, or whoswhatsit are of my favorites.

Final score:

215points

POST

GenericPanda09 1 year ago (edited)

Ah.. the fun me and the missus have had during a building emergency when I've asked her to pass me the thingy..... 'no.. not that.. the thingymajig.... there... no not there.. the who'd youmaflip next to it.. no.. not that f*****g way... oh christ's sake... the wottsit with the handle.... not that one... how the f**k could that fit on this nut? right... are you taking the p**s now? I swear to f*****g god you're doing this on purpose now..... stop laughing... it ain't funny till we've stopped the flooding..... here hold this whilst I go and have a smoke look in the garage.

7points

The r/AskReddit thread made a massive splash on the internet. At the time of writing, Reddit user u/callmevicious’ question had 24k upvotes. The topic was incredibly popular, which just goes to show that toxic masculinity is still alive and kicking in this day and age. On the flip side, more men are aware of the dangers it poses.

Verywell Mind points out that toxic masculinity creates “extreme pressure” to behave in ways that are detrimental to their emotional, mental, and physical health. These men are expected to act tough, be aggressive, reject anything even closely resembling femininity, and strive to attain power and status.

#10

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) A guy at work described something his daughter did as “cute” and then some douche told him that men aren’t supposed to call things cute.

bela-77 , Josh Willink Report

Final score:

187points

POST

Lynda Birch 1 year ago

I would have pinched his cheek and said 'there there - you're a little cutie too'

128points

#11

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) "Real men don't have cats."

Laughable.

WhyAreYouSoSmelly , Yuliya kota Report

Final score:

180points

POST

K Reed 1 year ago

Nobody has cats. That is the wrong order. Cats have humans.

34points

#12

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) "cry" literally everyone cries stfu.

BlueberrirrebeulB , Ivan Samkov Report

Final score:

171points

POST

Audra Sisler 1 year ago

My husband cried when both our daughters were born and it made me love him even more!!! So yes, seriously STFU with that b******t nonsense!!!!

16points

A huge problem with toxic masculinity is that it glorifies unhealthy habits. There’s a warped belief that self-care is meant for women only and that men should just tough things out. The result is that some men avoid going to see doctors when they run into health issues. They also avoid seeking a therapist’s help when they’re struggling with their mental and emotional health because they see it as a sign of weakness.

Meanwhile, the more a man embraces toxic masculinity, the more they are to engage in risky behaviors, from heavy drinking and using tobacco to avoiding veggies and greens. Combine that with the unwillingness to ask for help when health issues pop up and you have a disaster waiting to strike.

#13

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) Drink fruity cocktails, dude, my cocktail has 5 spirits in it, it's way more alcohol than your 3.x% abv. beer and it tastes nice .

OstravaBro , Amar Preciado Report

Final score:

170points

POST

Nice Beast Ludo 1 year ago

My best friend in high school (male) ordered pink lemonade when we were out to dinner and my parents made fun of him all night after we dropped him off. I got real mad and defensive and told my dad he must be gay too because all he drinks is the yellow lemonade my mom makes and there's no difference but the color

3points

#14

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) Wear pink. Pink is an awesome color - and you’re a little b***h if you think I’m not rocking an awesome color.

InventasBam , Anna Shvets Report

Final score:

157points

POST

BatPhace 1 year ago

Also didn't pink used to be considered masculine because it was bright and vibrant or something?

97points

#15

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) 1. My cousin was working at a chocolate shop and said a guy barged in asking for "chocolate for MEN." She never did figure out what he was talking about.

2. My grandfather firmly believed real men didn't smile in photos. Smiling = gay in his mind (needless to say he was a homophobe).

liberaliar , Daniel Xavier Report

Final score:

145points

POST

UpQuarkDownQuark 1 year ago (edited)

Chocolate for real men has tobacco and ground glass in it. And no sugar.

13points

Broadly speaking, toxic men tend to hold sexist ideals. They tend to think that men are ‘superior’ to women and, so, avoid expressing their emotions, doing housework, and being involved in childcare. This extends to the type of interests, hobbies, and careers ‘real men’ can have. Someone with a toxic masculinity mindset might think, for instance, that anyone who is into dancing, sewing, cooking, or works as a nurse may not be as tough or worthy of respect as others.

These very same men also usually hold homophobic beliefs, often try to intimidate or bully others into submission, and are resistant to change. However, change is very much possible. And it starts with more self-awareness, and the willingness to ask oneself why they’re behaving the way that they are. Embracing the full range of human feelings and asking for help are not signs of weakness. Quite the opposite—they show a man is honest with himself, and has the strength, maturity, self-confidence, and resilience to be vulnerable when needed.

#16

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) Not sure if it counts, but a young woman wouldn’t sell me a Luna Bar because it’s made for women. I said “No. It’s marketed to women. But I like this flavor.” She said “I can’t sell it to you. It has estrogen in it.” We had a frustrating back and forth before I finally convinced her that I was willing to take the risk and she sold it to me.

NikkoE82 , Mike Mozart Report

Final score:

141points

POST

Mr.G86 1 year ago

Worst sales person ever

113points

#17

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) "Hug their sons."

My dad hugged my brother for the first time when he was 18 and graduated high school. Dad was raised by his parents to not show outwardly love towards his children because that would "spoil" us. Our childhood was...odd.

First and last time I saw my dad cry was when his bird hunting dog died. As he dug the hole to bury it in their backyard.

The older generations were tougher, sure, but I know my dad would have benefited greatly from being hugged more as a child. That s**t gets passed down.

AWL_cow , Timur Weber Report

Final score:

140points

POST

Robert Trebor 1 year ago

My dad hugged us until my older brother was 12 and shrugged him off, told him he hated to be hugged. He got the idea that boys didn't need hugging. Not abuse, a good, loving dad, but off with the hugs. Fast-forward to me, 32, and he and my mom helped me to get the divorce my wife was demanding, and I told him that when I got home, he'd better stand by. He was waiting at the door, and we hugged, and he was a hug bear for the rest of his life. Just needed to be told it was okay. I wish I' could go back and have my 10 yo self tell him, "Daddy, I still want to be hugged."

13points

#18

Eat dessert. Seriously. I was told it was gay to eat dessert. "Because children and women like sweet things."

F**k you, Paul, I am going to eat this raspberry cheesecake.

daneelthesane Report

Final score:

139points

POST

PlatinumThe8-BitCat 1 year ago

Mmm, cheesecake

42points

TheyCallMeDoofus , Pavel Danilyuk Report

#19

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) I recently saw “If you’re a straight man and go see the Barbie movie you’re 100% a beta” I thought, “I’m so sorry that someone called you a beta once and that ever since you’ve been critical of your fellow man by hamfistedly dissecting everyone’s choices through an arbitrary and nonsensical social hierarchy platform that only exists to a few and matters to less! Bruh, you could do with some content that boldly and artistically tackles some questions of who we are in the universe, society and what real support and true friendship looks like. Maybe go see Barbie?”

Final score:

134points

POST

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago

I've no interest whatsoever in the Barbie movie, but I'm not about to tell someone else what movies to watch.

72points

#20

Pick anything that Andrew tate prick says and it’s probably gunna be up there with the most stupid

Nixilaas Report

Final score:

126points

POST

Owen 1 year ago

Hopefully he'll soon be in a Romanian prison. For rape and human trafficking. What an absolute s**t of a human.

73points

#21

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) My former boss would die on the hill of "real men don't use rolling suitcases." He'd sooner throw out his shoulder carrying a heavy duffel bag than ever be caught dead rolling a suitcase through an airport.

Edit: forgot to add he also thinks "neck pillows are fruity" and can't stand when men wear them around their neck on planes. Also, re: the comments about benefits of hiking backpacks, I don't think I ever saw him sport a two-strap. Fellas, is it gay to have even weight distribution on your shoulders?

alffiesta , Mikhail Nilov Report

Final score:

119points

POST

Matthews 1 year ago

This obsession with portraying some kind of strong image is more about hiding insecurity than anything else. And I don’t really like those neck pillows because of the bubbly texture of their stuffings, but how come a luggage or pillow option defines a person's sexuality? SMH.

62points

#22

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) I was told that really men never look at their nails with their palm down and would only ever look at their nails with their palm up and fingers curled.

I gotta wonder how secure in your masculinity you've got to be to spend time even thinking about the right way to look at your nails.

totodododo , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

119points

POST

Sue Denham 1 year ago

What if they're having a tantrum and slap the table and accidentally catch sight of their nails and suddenly - poof! - not a real man.

9points

#23

"Real men don't let women be on top during sex, because being on the bottom is a submissive position"

Fellas? Is it gay to have sex with a woman?

OJRmk1 Report

Final score:

116points

POST

C W 1 year ago

That's sad. That person was missing out.

43points

#24

"Real men don't speak French"

When we were kids, my mother would speak to us in French and my dad in English. By pure coincidence, every other bilingual couple we knew was doing it the same way around. So when my little brother was 4, he decided men spoke English and women spoke French. He still understood French perfectly, but he refused to speak it. He'd also burst into tears when he heard an adult speaking the wrong language for their gender.

My mother told the school about this when she registered him for kindergarten. They put him in a class with a male francophone teacher and he got over himself pretty quickly.

MathAndBake Report

Final score:

111points

POST

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago

Funny. I thought most French men, at the very least, would speak French. Silly of me, I know.

87points

#25

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) Real men don't lift under (insert weight). Everyone has to start somewhere d**k head. I have been lifting for years but when I see a new kid try lifting crazy heavy with bad form I warn him it's a good way to get hurt. If they don't listen then that's on them.

Sodomy_Steve , Victor Freitas Report

Final score:

110points

POST

Dre Mosley 1 year ago

Have to start somewhere. Even the biggest guys in the gym started out small and perhaps even weak.

5points

#26

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) My friends once introduced me to this guy who was talking REALLY LOUDLY.

I thought maybe he didn't realize how loud he was being so I said "you're a little loud."

Dude said "real men talk loud. Chicks like that."

I did not like that.

liberaliar , Helena Lopes Report

Final score:

104points

POST

§• Råinbow Påndå •§ 1 year ago

Are you a baby chicken?

33points

#27

Ok so based on this a real man is a guy who:

Is sunburned. Smells because he doesn’t wash his a*s. Screams what he wants with very basic language.

Oh wow the lady must be swooning

WebBorn2622 Report

Final score:

100points

POST

Brainmas 1 year ago (edited)

Don't forget expects the woman to do all the cooking becausehe can'tfeed himself.

34points

#28

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) Real men don't love their women as much as or more than she loves him. He has to always love her less and be less emotional to hold more power in the relationship.

Retremeco , Emre Akyol Report

Final score:

95points

POST

SnakePlant 1 year ago

This is what made me eventually leave my husband.

9points

#29

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) "Read the Instructions"

Delicious-Let8429 , Wilson Hui Report

Final score:

85points

POST

Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My! 1 year ago

Yes, it's so gay for a man to want his new desk or grill or fooz ball table to be properly put together.

33points

Dutch Swimmer Goes Viral For Super Revealing Trunks During 2024 Olympics: “Is This Legal?”

See Also on Bored Panda

Thrill-Seeking Diver Jumps Down Extreme Waterslide, Ignoring The Strict Ban For Women

#30

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) Once saw a woman on twitter say something like “if a man is too eager when the free bread gets to the table that’s sus” and I was just blown away by that one

Soupjam_Stevens , Monica Silvestre Report

Final score:

85points

POST

Mr.G86 1 year ago

B***h we hungry!!! 🤣

76points

#31

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) Wannabe tough guy: "Real men don't cook... Only women and gay men cook."

Me: "What about male Chef's like Gordon Ramsay?"

Response A) They're closeted gay men.

Or

Response B) A Chef is a paid position so it doesn't count.

mjohnsimon , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

84points

POST

PlatinumThe8-BitCat 1 year ago

What an idiot

43points

#32

Have long hair. I don't understand it at all. If Eddie van Halen can have long hair, then I can too.

magos_idiotus Report

Final score:

84points

POST

James016 1 year ago

My son’s hair is halfway down his back. It looks awesome.

32points

#33

Real men don't put others first.

I have a big family and a lot of my siblings have problems. I do my best to help them, even if it means putting their needs ahead of mine.

My ex-fiance thought this made me weak. A real man doesn't take care of other people, he puts himself first and takes what he wants. Going out of my way to help my brother, lending him money when he needed it, spending time giving him advice, made me a little b***h in her eyes.

We're no longer together.

shaidyn Report

Final score:

84points

POST

Riche White 1 year ago

Sounds like she's the little b***h

58points

Woman Put A Water Fountain With A Camera In Her Yard, Here Are 24 Photos Of Regular Visitors (New Pics)

See Also on Bored Panda

“Ma’am I Live Here”: Woman Refuses To Back Out Of Driveway, Learns A Lesson The Hard Way

#34

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) I've heard real men don't drink tea.

_eviehalboro , Ron Lach Report

Final score:

83points

POST

Nonna_SoF 1 year ago (edited)

*Angry British Empire sounds*

125points

#35

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) "Real men never say no to sex"

SuvenPan , Monstera Report

Final score:

76points

POST

Dre Mosley 1 year ago

Sometimes, we aren't in the mood either.

38points

#36

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) My ex husband used to say real men don't eat popsicles.

Edit to add: my current husband loves popsicles, ex husband was a POS who never got to experience the joy of an icy treat on a hot summer day in the south.

cinnamon23 , Danh Huynh Report

Final score:

75points

POST

BatPhace 1 year ago

Ooooh someone's afraid of their oral fetish lol

48points

#37

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) Use umbrellas.

Barquebe , Nikita Ananjevs Report

Final score:

70points

POST

BagelBoi 1 year ago

are we supposed to be waterproof?

38points

#38

When I was 14 or so, I got my left ear pierced. An older cousin of mine worked at Piercing Pagoda in the mall (mid 90s), and he did it for me.

When my father noticed, he was beside himself and went on and on about me being a sissy. I removed it right away.

Anyway, it turns out that Dad was a self-hating closet-case. Still is.

love_is_an_action Report

Final score:

69points

POST

Jill Rhodry 1 year ago

Yeah, he got it wrong. 'Back in the day' right ear meant gay.

30points

50 Of The Most Incredible Shots That Were Submitted To The Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards

See Also on Bored Panda

French Diver’s “Jewels” In Tight Swimming Trunks Become Talk Of The Town At Olympics

#39

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) I saw a video of a woman saying “Real men don’t eat peanut butter and jelly” and I was flabbergasted.

TeamJase , Matias Garabedian Report

Final score:

67points

POST

ninjaTrashPandaBoom 1 year ago (edited)

Yeah, IDGAF, if it tastes good, I'm eating it. Tomahawk steak or a PB&J sandwich or the fruitiest, prettiest dessert...get in my belly!

6points

#40

Real men don't wear safety equipment.

iCopeHard Report

Final score:

67points

POST

Lynda Birch 1 year ago

Neither do dead men

134points

#41

Real men don’t tell their wives/girlfriends they’re going to go somewhere/do something they just do it. And if they don’t like it that’s too bad.

Like dude what?

CaptianCanuck Report

Final score:

66points

POST

TheBlueBitterfly 1 year ago

And that's how they end up single and alone.

71points

#42

Real men don't use straws lol. I've always thought like, no, "real men" drink however they damn well please

ZsaurOW Report

Final score:

64points

POST

James Edwards 1 year ago (edited)

Straws don't work with hot coffee

10points

#43

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) Wear sunscreen.

bubblypersona , Kindel Media Report

Final score:

62points

POST

§• Råinbow Påndå •§ 1 year ago

Fellas, is it gay to not want skin cancer?

57points

Woman Moves Out Of Parents' Home After They Asked Her To Give Her Space To Brother, They Freak Out

See Also on Bored Panda

Mom Leaves $250k Inheritance To Son, Throws A Fit When Daughter Stops Looking After Her

#44

"Real men don't apologize"

SuvenPan Report

Final score:

61points

POST

§• Råinbow Påndå •§ 1 year ago

Apparently, real men have no friends either

59points

#45

*... Don't eat sweet things like candy or chocolate, it's gay.*

I f*****g love chocolate so I'm probably the biggest gaylord out there.

Arch_Stanton1862 Report

Final score:

60points

POST

PlatinumThe8-BitCat 1 year ago

Chocolate is freaking delicious so that guy can just go rot

27points

#46

Real men dont drink fruity drink, only beers and hard liquor.

F**k off. I drink something if it taste good and i will die before doing 50 differents type of faces just to swallow something that taste like satan b******e and batteries acids

Regnier86 Report

Final score:

59points

POST

Dre Mosley 1 year ago

I love sangria and Moscato. I rarely drink beer.

7points

#47

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) "wash their a*s because it makes them gay"

vpnme120 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

56points

POST

Matthews 1 year ago

Washing it doesn’t change anyone’s orientation. But I must comment on that picture: I’d never do it with a tooth brush!

134points

jay_marcus_rustler Report

#48

enjoy candles

Final score:

51points

POST

Tim Fawcett 1 year ago

I guess that depends on where you are putting them!

32points

Woman Refuses To Chip In For Babysitting Because She Doesn’t Even Have Kids, Asks If She’s A Jerk

See Also on Bored Panda

“This Breaks My Heart”: People Stunned—And Angry—After Woman Buys Lost Luggage From Airport

#49

“What's The Stupidest 'Real Men Don't…' You've Ever Heard?” (50 Answers) “Sleep on their stomachs”

Merphee , Nicola Barts Report

Final score:

46points

POST

Array Index Out of Bounds 1 year ago

This one gets me. I've done a lot of time in county lockup and I sleep in my bunk however I like. No one has ever even mentioned anything close to this.

2points

#50

Real men don't wear lotion or chapstick.

nicolassedir Report

Final score:

46points

POST

§• Råinbow Påndå •§ 1 year ago

Fellas, is it gay to not want crusty lips?

3points

Storytelling, journalism, and art are a core part of who I am. I've been writing and drawing ever since I could walk—there is nothing else I'd rather do. My formal education, however, is focused on politics, philosophy, and economics because I've always been curious about the gap between the ideal and the real. At work, I'm a Senior Writer and I cover a broad range of topics that I'm passionate about: from psychology and changes in work culture to healthy living, relationships, and design. In my spare time, I'm an avid hiker and reader, enjoy writing short stories, and love to doodle. I thrive when I'm outdoors, going on small adventures in nature. However, you can also find me enjoying a big mug of coffee with a good book (or ten) and entertaining friends with fantasy tabletop games and sci-fi movies.

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I am a Visual editor at Bored Panda, I'm determined to find the most interesting and the best quality images for each post that I do. On my free time I like to unwind by doing some yoga, watching all kinds of movies/tv shows, playing video and board games or just simply hanging out with my cat

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What do you think ?

POST

Matthews 1 year ago

It’s scary to see that some people STILL think those things.

27points

Giant alien spider 1 year ago

Guess I'm not real. *Fades out of existence*

26points

Auntriarch 1 year ago

Apparently I'm a man. That's going to surprise my husband

34points

Sea Squirrel 1 year ago (edited)

The opposite of manly isn't gay, it's unmanly!!! Disturbing to see how many 'progressive' men in this list and the reactions still seem to think gay and unmanly are the same thing.

23points

Jeremy James 1 year ago

Shagging a bloke is one of the manliest activities there is. It's literally all man.

23points

Appalachian Panda 1 year ago

I mean, you're right, but the people who seriously believe this garbage do tend to equate the two. The reason they won't do [x] is because they're afraid someone might perceive them to be gay.

10points

Adam S 1 year ago

Exactly! Nothing in this post was about being gay, was about not being a “real” man. Sad so many people automatically equate the two

8points

Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 1 year ago

I agree with you completely, but, unfortunately,to the sort of person that actually believes this cräp,if you're not a "real man," then you're gay. I realise that it's no consolation, but as most of this list applies to me, I'm quite content to be considered the most unmanly man or the gayest gay there is.

4points

Will J Dochartaigh 1 year ago

Wrong. It’s all a goof on ‘traditional though when gay = unmanly. All part of the ‘once upon a time’ fallacies.

3points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 1 year ago

No. The definition of "unmanly" is exactly the opposite of "manly", in the culturally traditional sense. The problem is that these adjectives still exist at all. From Oxford Languages): ADJECTIVE: not having or showing qualities and characteristics traditionally associated with or expected of men. Similar: effeminate; effete; unmasculine; womanish; girlish; feminine; weak; soft; timid; timorous; fearful; cowardly; lily-livered; limp-wristed; spineless; chicken-hearted; weak-kneed; sissy; wimpish; wimpy OPPOSITE: manly; virile

0points

Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 1 year ago

in my decades of life i've heard this equation. i don't think the 'progressive' men think this. i believe they (me) are so fed up of manly/unmanly.. what the heck is manly? what the heck is "Real" for manliness or anything? I've heard the equation from men AND women and whatever those words mean too. Who is the arbiter of these? the absolute exhaustion this fear must cause people. Why? Why? Why Do people spend their precious life thinking these things and then actually commanding people this? Real Men have never considered Real Men rules. lol. i'm done thinking about this. going birdwatching.

0points

Hphizzle 1 year ago

The real men don’t wash their a*s is the one that scares me the most. Like, umm, that’s basic hygiene. No one of any gender gonna want to be around you smelling like boo-boo 💩.

17points

Greenmantle 1 year ago

And even worse, expecting a lover to venture down there when they haven't bothered wiping their b******e.

6points

Jessica Bertram 1 year ago

so REAL MEN™️ are dirty, joyless, loveless, angry lumps of fear. gotcha gotcha.

17points

Amina Hays 1 year ago

Good grief. What's next, breathing oxygen?

12points

Pa4040 1 year ago

Real men only breathe tobacco smoke and hooker farts.

6points

Thor Haugen 1 year ago

Gender roles are a social construct.

10points

Rostit . 1 year ago

to a point. Men can't be biological mothers. that whole lack of a uterus makes it impossible.

1point

Beans 1 year ago

Having cats is a weird one. People's odd prejudice against cats in general is effing weird. Another weird one is enjoying Disneyland or theme parks. My boyf and I love it, me more than him (I'm a woman) but like he's been given s**t for wanting to go with me since it's a place for girls and babies. Actually shaming Disney adults at all is messed up too. It's kind of why I prefer Tokyo Disney, there are so many couples there and people of all ages, I never felt shamed.

10points

becck 1 year ago

The cats one is because you can’t have control over cats like you can dogs. Cats aren’t “submissive” enough to be “masculine”

9points

Queen fhk 1 year ago

Another daily dose of a human stupidity. My eyeballs rolled back 360 degrees reading all this b******t

7points

Rostit . 1 year ago

180 you mean? 360 would be all the back to the front again.

1point

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

Just sharing a fun thing my dad taught me when I first cut my hair short. It always shut up anyone being an asshoIe: “your heteronormative polemic is infantile.” (Your sexist assumption/statement is immature and childish)

4points

Nice Beast Ludo 1 year ago

You always give me great things to borrow

0points

Ace 1 year ago

I remember a briefly popular book back in the '80s called "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche" which was full of these. Even then it was firmly tongue in cheek. But I don't think anywhere did it contain anything to suggest that the opposite of a 'real man' was to be gay. I've never understood why anyone, however masculine, could confuse one's sexuality with how hard and rugged one may present oneself.

4points

Greenmantle 1 year ago

Indeed, I read a study once about gay men having n g higher levels of testosterone and larger penises than straight men.

2points

Mell 1 year ago

When I see a person that is happy en confident, I can just enjoy that. Wether a man, woman, or whatever. People need to stop being insecure and stop shaming everything because they are insecure.

4points

Apatheist Account2 1 year ago

That's a bad spell of "whether"...;)

2points

Emmydearest 1 year ago

Maybe I'm just privileged but, as a European, the "list" of what real men don't do is much shorter. Yes, I've heard the occasional "real men don't cry or show emotions", or something about wearing pink... but...don't wash your a*s?! Don't eat desserts and chocolate?! Don't wear sunscreen?! What?! But I'm guessing that half Americans probably think European men are all a little gay so that explains it 😄

4points

Rostit . 1 year ago

you're privileged. Almost all American men don't think about European men or women at all.

-1point

River wolf 1 year ago

There’s only one “real men don’t” that’s actually true. Real men don’t say they’re women.

2points

Noname 1 year ago

There was a book that came out in 1982 "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche" by satirist Bruce Feirstein. I will testify that he was completely wrong and die on this hill, even though the book was hilarious.

2points

Apatheist Account2 1 year ago

The truth is: real men do what they think is right, regardless of what any one else says they should or should not do.

2points

Tracy Wallick 1 year ago

So many items on this list stem from "X is for women, and being like a woman is bad/shameful/degrading".

1point

Littlemiss 1 year ago

Real men don't change nappies or do anything remotely like care for their children. Apparently the douce canoe I'm related to by blood had no part in the conception of his 3 children cause his ex's all got pregnant without his help, so he was within his manly rights to not do any care and looking after the children. He convinced the 1st ex he was sterile so the second child must have been a huge surprise.

1point

Ghostsauce 1 year ago

I propose we practice script flips. In my head, I respond to some bro making fun of my clothes with "I didn't think people around here were so sensitive about fashion". If some bro is angry, aggressive, condescending, or just mean to you, allude to their sensitivity. Carefully though, in my head, I also get punched, lol

1point

Pigeon (they/them) 1 year ago (edited)

Apparently it’s weak to know how to do literally anything. “Real men” are glorified children ig

1point

kath morgan 1 year ago

Real men are such fragile wilting blossoms that they are threatened by beverages and coupons.

1point

SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago

Judging by majority of the list here, I'm most likely an artificial man. Oh well, more candy, ice cream, fruity drinks (not too keen on alcohol, personal preference), scented candles etc for me!!! Who's with me? I don't mind sharing :-)

1point

Valaun 1 year ago

Real men don't let other people define them. Real men have the courage to act decently towards others. Real men definitely wash every part of themselves because it's disgusting if you don't. Real men define for themselves what it is to be man because they have a brain. Real men can be a real bad a** by thinking for themselves, by being willing to stop the fake "real men" from disrespecting women, children, and other men. Real men love their kids and will beat any clown that says affection from kids is weak. Real men show who they are, think dudes who need to tell other guys what a man is are weak little cupcakes, and think this subject is dumb and a weak attempt to be controlling.

1point

Biofish23 1 year ago

Being a "REAL MAN' sounds absolutely miserable. Actually sharing the same oxygen with a "REAL MAN" sounds absolutely miserable.

1point

TheBlueBitterfly 1 year ago

Don't worry, real men don't need oxygen!

0points

Sam Schrevel 1 year ago

Ok I find this a homophobic bunch of c**p

1point

DBear 1 year ago (edited)

Wow. I haven't heard a single one of these. Surprisingly one of the most common ones comes in close to the end: "Real men don't eat quiche". Next time try some research. It's the very first thing that pops up when you do a Google or Bing search.

1point

Noname 1 year ago (edited)

I did make this comment about Feirsteins book! . It's like whoever is writing these posts doesn't do any research at all but cuts and pastes c**p off another internet post and calls it original. This is what passes for journalism these days.

2points

VonBlade 1 year ago

If you want a palate cleanser after that, read "how not to be a boy" by Robert Webb (of Mitchell and Webb). It's a memoir, but also full of disbelief about this b******t macho posturing and why it's so toxic.

1point

chamvindev 1 year ago

This by far and large the most stupid list that I have ever read on BP. Just stopped reading after 5 post. Nothing to be happy about. Next!

1point

Will Cable 1 year ago

If you don't watch football/soccer you are NOT a real man.......yeah right, so real men like watching men in shorts running around and hugging and kissing when they score.

1point

Rick 1 year ago (edited)

After reading this, I am now convinced that 'real men' are incompetent, lazy, selfish, lack any sense of purpose and want the attention of a child. I think I pass on being a real man.

1point

Seabeast 1 year ago

I can't imagine going through life constantly fretting about this.

0points

Dave Thompson 1 year ago

LOTS of stupid s**t listed, for sure.

0points

Kurtis Wethington 1 year ago

Besides how all these examples combined paint a picture of an insecure, FILTHY, joyless, abusive sociopath, I'm reminded how notorious drug lord Pablo Escobar, who killed SCORES of people and basically ruled Colombia was still a loving family man considering: -He took PRIDE in changing his children's diapers rather than leaving it to his wife or a nanny. -While on the run, would sooner burn his getaway money without a moment's hesitation than let his children be cold. -Was finally tracked down BECAUSE he was on the phone with his son. So if a criminal so infamous that his catchphrase was "Plata o Plomo" ("Silver or lead" as in take a bribe or a bullet,) was such a domestic threat that his initial "confinement" was his own party mansion that he often snuck out of anyway like a "Batman" villain and required an international effort to take him down, comes off like a better father/man than you, you need to reevaluate your life.

0points

B.Nelson 1 year ago

Real men don't tell women that they are undateable because they own a power tool. IT WAS A DREMEL MULTI TOOL J! It barely counts as a power tool! I was using it to carve pumpkins!

0points

Oerff On Tour 1 year ago

Don't listen to criticism from people that you don't know, and you wouldn't ask for advice anyhow. Being a man is just "Mind over Matter". You shouldn't mind, and they don't matter.

0points

Kathy Wilbourne 1 year ago

So what does make a truly manly man? He controls himself, protects those weaker than himself, has the strength to apologize when necessary, and cleans up his own messes. His macho ego is not so fragile that he feels threatened by any of the nonsense listed above.

0points

Kathy Wilbourne 1 year ago

Nor does he feel the need to resopond with violence to every threat and insult.

0points

David A Paterson 1 year ago

A lot to unpack here. I detest the dichotomy of "real men" vs "gay men" all though the posts and comments. Whoever said that gay men can't be real? On the other hand, I've never seen chocolates or cocktails marketed for men, when a lot of other ridiculous products such as vitamins are marketed for men. It would be very interesting to do a survey of what proportion of men actually do the things listed above - often. As a SNAG sensitive new age guy, even I don't do half of the things listed above.

0points

Never Snarky 1 year ago

When I wasn't feeling sad for a bunch dumbasses not enjoying life because of these stupid beliefs, I was laughing my a*s off.

0points

Samsquatch & Monko 1 year ago

“FaShIoN iS gAy”/j

0points

Gozer LeGozerian 1 year ago

Men, is it gay to have a penis?

0points

zak 1 year ago

Real men are comprised of atoms.

0points

Michael Largey 1 year ago

If there is such a thing as "real men", I know one thing. Real men don't use the phrase "real men". So if you think you are, then you know you're not.

0points

Rostit . 1 year ago

someone had better let my wife know that I am gay because I do most of the things that "real men" do not do.

0points

Sonja 1 year ago

So if you listen to the guys sprouting all that nonsense 'real' men are fragile prissies who can't deal with sh;t and falter as soon as they wear a different colour than others. Gotcha. You're an insecure 9 year old playing adult trying to make adult men conform to your fantasies. Now move on.

0points

Larry XK 1 year ago

This list gravely missing the"real men don't ask for directions" I know it's kinda moot point now because of GPS, but still

0points

Shadow 1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Pa4040 1 year ago

What kind of confused unga-bunga still believes any of this cr@p ?

0points

Never Snarky 1 year ago

Unfortunately, far too many men who think they are real, and are anything but.

0points

Robin Navas 1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

les 1 year ago

Real men dont dance with other men. Well how the f**k else do we make our gay friend feel welcome on a night out?

0points

Sammy2Shoes 1 year ago

Good gracious. If any man anywhere does something, anything, then real men do that thing. Because men are humans & humans do all those things.

0points

Damon 1 year ago (edited)

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Noname 1 year ago

Watch the people who know when titles and content has been ripped off from another author tear into the plagiarist who doesn't believe anyone might know they've ripped off another author because they believe their readership is too young/stupid to know they aren't writing original content? Yes-let the bloodshed begin!!

1point

POST

Matthews 1 year ago

It’s scary to see that some people STILL think those things.

27points

Giant alien spider 1 year ago

Guess I'm not real. *Fades out of existence*

26points

Auntriarch 1 year ago

Apparently I'm a man. That's going to surprise my husband

34points

Sea Squirrel 1 year ago (edited)

The opposite of manly isn't gay, it's unmanly!!! Disturbing to see how many 'progressive' men in this list and the reactions still seem to think gay and unmanly are the same thing.

23points

Jeremy James 1 year ago

Shagging a bloke is one of the manliest activities there is. It's literally all man.

23points

Appalachian Panda 1 year ago

I mean, you're right, but the people who seriously believe this garbage do tend to equate the two. The reason they won't do [x] is because they're afraid someone might perceive them to be gay.

10points

Adam S 1 year ago

Exactly! Nothing in this post was about being gay, was about not being a “real” man. Sad so many people automatically equate the two

8points

Did I say that out loud? (he/him)cis/het 1 year ago

4points

Will J Dochartaigh 1 year ago

Wrong. It’s all a goof on ‘traditional though when gay = unmanly. All part of the ‘once upon a time’ fallacies.

3points

Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 1 year ago

0points

Darius S. (he/him) cis/grey 1 year ago

0points

Hphizzle 1 year ago

The real men don’t wash their a*s is the one that scares me the most. Like, umm, that’s basic hygiene. No one of any gender gonna want to be around you smelling like boo-boo 💩.

17points

Greenmantle 1 year ago

And even worse, expecting a lover to venture down there when they haven't bothered wiping their b******e.

6points

Jessica Bertram 1 year ago

so REAL MEN™️ are dirty, joyless, loveless, angry lumps of fear. gotcha gotcha.

17points

Amina Hays 1 year ago

Good grief. What's next, breathing oxygen?

12points

Pa4040 1 year ago

Real men only breathe tobacco smoke and hooker farts.

6points

Thor Haugen 1 year ago

Gender roles are a social construct.

10points

Rostit . 1 year ago

to a point. Men can't be biological mothers. that whole lack of a uterus makes it impossible.

1point

Beans 1 year ago

10points

becck 1 year ago

The cats one is because you can’t have control over cats like you can dogs. Cats aren’t “submissive” enough to be “masculine”

9points

Queen fhk 1 year ago

Another daily dose of a human stupidity. My eyeballs rolled back 360 degrees reading all this b******t

7points

Rostit . 1 year ago

180 you mean? 360 would be all the back to the front again.

1point

and_a_touch_of_the_’tism 1 year ago

4points

Nice Beast Ludo 1 year ago

You always give me great things to borrow

0points

Ace 1 year ago

4points

Greenmantle 1 year ago

Indeed, I read a study once about gay men having n g higher levels of testosterone and larger penises than straight men.

2points

Mell 1 year ago

When I see a person that is happy en confident, I can just enjoy that. Wether a man, woman, or whatever. People need to stop being insecure and stop shaming everything because they are insecure.

4points

Apatheist Account2 1 year ago

That's a bad spell of "whether"...;)

2points

Emmydearest 1 year ago

4points

Rostit . 1 year ago

you're privileged. Almost all American men don't think about European men or women at all.

-1point

River wolf 1 year ago

There’s only one “real men don’t” that’s actually true. Real men don’t say they’re women.

2points

Noname 1 year ago

There was a book that came out in 1982 "Real Men Don't Eat Quiche" by satirist Bruce Feirstein. I will testify that he was completely wrong and die on this hill, even though the book was hilarious.

2points

Apatheist Account2 1 year ago

The truth is: real men do what they think is right, regardless of what any one else says they should or should not do.

2points

Tracy Wallick 1 year ago

So many items on this list stem from "X is for women, and being like a woman is bad/shameful/degrading".

1point

Littlemiss 1 year ago

1point

Ghostsauce 1 year ago

1point

Pigeon (they/them) 1 year ago (edited)

Apparently it’s weak to know how to do literally anything. “Real men” are glorified children ig

1point

kath morgan 1 year ago

Real men are such fragile wilting blossoms that they are threatened by beverages and coupons.

1point

SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago

1point

Valaun 1 year ago

1point

Biofish23 1 year ago

Being a "REAL MAN' sounds absolutely miserable. Actually sharing the same oxygen with a "REAL MAN" sounds absolutely miserable.

1point

TheBlueBitterfly 1 year ago

Don't worry, real men don't need oxygen!

0points

Sam Schrevel 1 year ago

Ok I find this a homophobic bunch of c**p

1point

DBear 1 year ago (edited)

1point

Noname 1 year ago (edited)

2points

VonBlade 1 year ago

1point

chamvindev 1 year ago

This by far and large the most stupid list that I have ever read on BP. Just stopped reading after 5 post. Nothing to be happy about. Next!

1point

Will Cable 1 year ago

If you don't watch football/soccer you are NOT a real man.......yeah right, so real men like watching men in shorts running around and hugging and kissing when they score.

1point

Rick 1 year ago (edited)

After reading this, I am now convinced that 'real men' are incompetent, lazy, selfish, lack any sense of purpose and want the attention of a child. I think I pass on being a real man.

1point

Seabeast 1 year ago

I can't imagine going through life constantly fretting about this.

0points

Dave Thompson 1 year ago

LOTS of stupid s**t listed, for sure.

0points

Kurtis Wethington 1 year ago

0points

B.Nelson 1 year ago

Real men don't tell women that they are undateable because they own a power tool. IT WAS A DREMEL MULTI TOOL J! It barely counts as a power tool! I was using it to carve pumpkins!

0points

Oerff On Tour 1 year ago

Don't listen to criticism from people that you don't know, and you wouldn't ask for advice anyhow. Being a man is just "Mind over Matter". You shouldn't mind, and they don't matter.

0points

Kathy Wilbourne 1 year ago

0points

Kathy Wilbourne 1 year ago

Nor does he feel the need to resopond with violence to every threat and insult.

0points