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We all have our own definition of a good teacher but I think we can agree that the word "composed" is somewhere in it. However, if there's one thing students are good at, it's testing their limits.

Interested in how far the little devils can take it, Reddit user u/jeffzhang69 submitted a question to the platform, asking, "Teachers, what was the [sassiest] response from a student you have heard?" Turns out, there's many.

As of this article, the post has over 9K comments, many of which feature funny, disgusting, and even sad phrases students throw at their teachers.

This post may include affiliate links.

#1

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) I've told this story on reddit before but this really shy kid that doesn't really speak much was getting picked on by this mean girl when the teacher tells her "be nice to him, he might be your boss someday," without missing a beat he replies "no thanks, I don't want to be a pimp when I grow up."

Soitgoes5 , Anita Jankovic Report

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To find out more about what goes on in the classroom, we contacted Larry Ferlazzo, who teaches English, Social Studies, and International Baccalaureate classes to English Language Learners and mainstream students at Luther Burbank High School in Sacramento, California.

"I know that the word 'discipline' is often connected to punishment or correction," Mr. Ferlazzo told Bored Panda. "If you go to its word roots in Latin, though, you'll see that it's mainly related to 'teaching, learning, knowledge.' I think teachers are likely to be far more effective in creating a positive classroom environment if they focus more on the latter definition than the former."

"This kind of positive classroom environment includes respect for a few simple rules but also allows for flexibility. It's based on strong relationships, both between teacher and students and between students themselves. It recognizes that we all have bad days, none of us are perfect, and that we all are part of a classroom community of learners and not just a room full of students. With that kind of focus, I think we're much more likely to create a safe and mutually respectful situation where students want to concentrate on learning instead of feeling like they are being forced to comply. Compliance does not equal engagement," Mr. Ferlazzo explained.

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#2

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) My history teacher would spend half the class making jokes directed at the students. One student in particular always took the jokes on the chin and never really made any comebacks.

Eventually, the teacher called him out and jokingly lectured him about standing up for himself. He ended his rant with "You've gotta be a man. You've gotta be like me."

The student replied with: "Well which one? Do you want me to be a man or do you want me to be like you?"

-jackschitt- , NeONBRAND Report

Final score:
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qwerty
qwerty
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the teacher deserves it for the "Be a man" BS.

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#3

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) Had my class of working class kids at an art gallery. As we waited for our tour to begin we played on the small playground near the door. A prep school kid in a uniform approached two of my boys and said, 'I bet I'm smarter than you are!' I watched to make sure no blood was drawn - my students can hold their own pretty much anywhere and they don't accept insults casually.

But they were cool. 'No you're not. Are you in Grade 2?' The boy said he was and one of my boys said, So Then we're all grade 2. So we are all grade 2 smart.' He went back to climbing the monkey bars.

But the prep school kid continued. 'I know I'm smarter. Let's do some math and I'll prove it.'

The toughest kid in my room looked this guy square in the eye and said, 'Well, I'm smart enough not to do math when I'm having fun on a playground.'

Earl_I_Lark , notethanun Report

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beastmachine.
beastmachine.
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh that's pretty smart. Even some adults can't seem to understand that different spaces are for different tasks

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Before they respond to disrespectful student comments, Mr. Ferlazzo said teachers need to reflect on a number of issues, including:

  • Is the comment truly disrespectful, or am I letting my privilege and lack of knowledge make me feel defensive, or am I demonstrating a lack of a sense of humor?
  • Are student comments reflecting a lack of respect that I am showing my students, and are they just reflecting back on the way I treat them?
  • Is this student generally respectful and, if he/she is, what might be going on for them that is making them have a bad day?
#4

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) A kid in my math class would sleep on his desk. One day the teacher called on him to answer a problem on the chalk board. He woke up, solved the problem on the board with zero difficulty, and then just went back to sleep.

The teacher repeated the same thing a few times with similar results, and then just let him sleep the rest of the year.

MagnusT , abcd8164@yahoo.cn Report

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#5

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) I witnessed a rather sad one.

In my chemistry class sophomore year one of my friends was going through some family issues, and his dad just left for a year or so. The kid was acting up in class and the teacher was like "Do you want me to call your dad?" and he was like "If he picks up tell him to come home soon."

Shabloopie , elinerijpers Report

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~hUmMuS vIbEs~
~hUmMuS vIbEs~
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God, if I was that teacher I would've felt like crap for ages regretting that.

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Assuming the teacher has a good relationship with the student (which, in most cases, teachers should have worked very hard at achieving), Mr. Ferlazzo said they could:

  • Go to the student and whisper a request for them to go outside so the two can have a conversation ("I didn't feel respected when ____ was said" and/or "Are you okay?" and/or "It sounds like you are upset. Can you tell me what's going on?"
  • Ignore it and proceed with the lesson, and find the student later in the day (perhaps during the teacher's free period) to have a similar conversation.

"It's important to not get into a power struggle with the student because a teacher will never win one," Mr. Ferlazzo explained. "It may feel like a victory, but it will only be temporary."
#6

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) For context this was at a Catholic school, and the teacher (a very stern fire and brimstone nun) and the student (an extremely liberal anglican) had been at each others nerves all year. After correcting the teacher on something she had gotten wrong, the nun said something along the lines of "I hope you learn to enjoy the heat because it's going to be very hot when you end up in the deepest level of hell."

And entirely unruffled, without a moment's hesitation she responded "Actually, according to Dante's inferno the deepest level of hell is made of ice, but don't worry I'll bring a jacket."

ccentmarkd , kyo azuma Report

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#7

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) I've taught preschool for years, and one of my favorite "dad" responses to children who are being whiny just to whine is the "Hi, _____. I'm your teacher!" (Eg- "I'm thirsty." "Hi, Thirsty. I'm your teacher!"). Anyway, one day, after a long week, I sat down to lunch with my class (preschool, remember? 4-5 year olds), and say to a child (we'll call him Tommy), "Boy, Tommy. I'm really tired today." Without skipping a beat, he swallows his Mac-n-cheese, looks me right in the eyes and says, "Hi, Really Tired. I'm Tommy." That was the day I knew I had taught him all I could.

ImAVampiahImAVampiah Report

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"It is never okay for teachers to make [cheeky] comments," Mr. Ferlazzo said. "Does that mean we never make them? Of course not. If we make them, a public apology is always required. We have to model the importance of righting a wrong."

"I think it might be worth teachers developing flexibility about what student comments they consider disrespectful, and what could, instead, be insightful, humorous, or just a failed attempt at humor because of a lack of student maturity.  Then, it's not a matter of letting remarks 'slide.' Rather, it can demonstrate to students that you don't see the world just with a clear-cut vision - that ambiguity is okay."

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Mr. Ferlazzo believes that even with all these ideas on how to "de-escalate," however, there may be times when a comment is genuinely disrespectful, and "that it could be the first sign of a situation that could get dangerously out of control. In those situations, a call to the office for a campus monitor to remove the student from your classroom may be the least bad option." However, if teachers do that, they have polarized' the situation — once you polarize a situation, it's essential that you de-polarize it, perhaps by a conversation the next morning before class.

"By far, the best way to reduce the chances of disrespectful comments from students is to build relationships so that students know and feel like the teacher truly cares about them as people, is interested in their hopes and dreams, and wants to help students achieve them," Mr. Ferlazzo concluded.
#8

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) Does it count if it was me?

Gr. 12 religion teacher at a Catholic school tried to tell every one that ejaculating inside a woman will get her pregnant 100% of the time.

My hand shot right up to counter the bulls**t of that statement that he was trying to pass on as fact. I believe I quoted studies putting the percentage in the low single digits, and pointed out how many couples have to go through great lengths in order to conceive.

Mr. Bullsh**er counters back with "Well you see, OiMcCoy, In my personal experience..."

Thanks to him never shutting up about his family and home life and the bizarre rules about teachers strictly adhering to Catholic dogma when it comes to sex, I knew I had him on the ropes.

"Sir, you have been married for 12 years and have two sons. Are you telling us you have only slept with your wife twice?"

Easily my favorite memory from high school.

unknown , Erika Fletcher Report

Final score:
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Nadine Bamberger
Nadine Bamberger
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't have unprotected sex unless both parties are okay with a pregnancy though. Or an STD

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#9

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) Kid has his head down at the back of science class everyday. Never does any work, but we all know he's quite smart. Teacher calls him out for it one day and says "Why do you sleep so much at the back of the class? Do you think you're smarter than everyone? Do you think you know everything in the book?

He raises his head wearily and says, "i've done all the work at home just leave me alone"

"ALL OF IT!? REALLY!?"

"Yes."

"If you can answer a few questions on the book you can sleep for the rest of the term!"

"OK"

"If you can't then you'll sit right at the front and not put your head down once."

"OK"

He then began to answer every question the teacher could throw at him, she even pulled up stuff we werent ever going to study in the back of the book and he just answered every question flawlessly... by the end of this 3 minute exchange he asked "We done?"

The teacher, was speechless, so he said "thanks" and put his head down again.

It was sick.

unknown , Green Chameleon Report

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Nadine Bamberger
Nadine Bamberger
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope the teacher then got him into a program for gifted students.

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#10

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) I had a friend who told the teacher he wasn't going to be able come to an after school event. She started fussing at him telling him that he wouldn't ever to make it college because of how irresponsible he was. When she finally asked why he couldn't come, he replied, "My house burned down."

unknown , UBC Learning Commons Report

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Steve
Steve
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I missed an Art History lesson (during "A" levels - I'm from the UK) and my tutor kicked off the next time I was in class, explaining quite angrily to me how Id have to stay late, catch up and be more dedicated. She then asked where I had been, to which I had to explain in front of the how class I'd been at my grandfather's funeral (I really had been). She when very quiet, uttered an apology and didn't bother me at all for the rest of the lesson.

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#11

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) MY FRIEND, BRIAN was in his home-room class back in high school. The topic of abortion came up as everyone was asking each other if/why they're either against, or pro-abortion. We're in Texas so you can assume the ideas and opinions of the majority of the class.

So my friend is a very intelligent and quiet fellow. Minding his own business in a corner of the room. The class turns to him to get his opinion on the matter.

Someone- "Brian, you've been quiet over there. So what about you? Are you Pro-Abortion?"

Brian- "Well, I wouldn't say I'm pro... but I'm pretty good with a coat hanger."

Jaws drop, the room is silent as everyone is registering what just happened.

Glad I made it to school that day.

Goldfishyz , Taylor Wilcox Report

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AngelWingsYT
AngelWingsYT
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And they never asked him his opinion on hard topics again n just left him be to himself🤣

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#12

There was this one kid in class who was listening to music in class, had one earbud in. My teacher asks him "Are you guarding the president" as a funny way to ask him to stop. The kid replied with "I'm not at liberty to say", teacher couldn't get mad at him.

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#13

Student A says to student B, "Dude, shut the f**k up!"

Staff says, "Student A, we don't talk that way. In the future find a more appropriate way of expressing yourself."

Student A says to staff, "Oh, sorry" then turns to student B and says, "Dude, would you please shut the f**k up."

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#14

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) Let me point out that I'm female since people will assume I'm a guy. I taught in an inner city school. We were talking about prime numbers so I would have kids give me a number and we'd work out if the number was a prime number on the board. One kid wasn't paying attention so me being a young teacher I thought I'd catch him off guard and call on him. It went something along the lines of

"Marc, do you have a number?"

"Huh"

"I need your number."

"Sheeeit, play it cool, girl. We can talk after class."

The whole room lost their s**t and I turned red from embarassment. They then laughed at how red I got.

blondeandtall , Dave Crosby Report

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#15

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) Not a teacher but witnessed as a student. There was literally 30 seconds left of class and my buddy starts to pack up. The teacher didn't seem to mind but when the bell rang and buddy got up to leave the teacher said the classic line "the bell doesn't dismiss you, I do" and buddy just continues to leave, gets in the doorway of the class and says "If it decides when I come, it decides when I leave" and just leaves the class.

Brendan1214 , domlafou Report

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WilvanderHeijden
WilvanderHeijden
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very valid response. Chances are he knew that he would get detention if he showed up late for the next class and saying that the previous teacher kept him too long, would be deemed disrespectful so he gets some extra detention for that as well.

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#16

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) I had a teacher tell a classmate "no drinks in class". He got up from his seat, picked up the teachers drink, and deposited in the garbage with his drink. She sent him to the office.

oh_hai_dan , headwayio Report

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#17

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) We had a teacher that would always threaten to phone our home if we were misbehaving. Which she promptly stopped after: Teacher: "What would your mother say if I called home right now?" Student: "She would say hello."

MrVulgarity , nordwood Report

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#18

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) Just yesterday actually.

One of my classes is fun in that we give each other hard times, but all in good fun and accomplish a lot. A girl starts giggling uncontrollably for no reason, and she's a bit of an airhead so I asked her if she saw something shiny and if that entertained her.

Another boy jumps in and says "Yeah Mister, your head"

I'm going bald. I wanted to pretend to be mad but it was just too damn funny

unknown , javotrueba Report

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#19

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) Student in my spanish class was sleeping, like always. Teacher finally got tired of it and tried to embarrass him by waking him up and yell at him in spanish. The student responded with, "I'm back here minding my own business, not causing any sort of distractions at all, and you decide to stop everyone's learning by trying to make me look stupid. We all know I have no idea what you're saying, so please stop disrupting the class and let me go back to not bothering anyone." She never said another word to him.

ImOn4chanToo , Adrian Sampson Report

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#20

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) My Sister (who is a teacher) was taking her kindergarten class through the lunch line. Well, this day was St. Patrick Day, so there was green cupcakes. My sister told the class (jokingly) don't eat too many cupcakes, or you'll turn green.

A young black boy looks up at her and says "Miss Kerri, I ain't never seen a green brother before!"

boxofstuff , santivedri Report

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#21

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) In high school one of my teachers was having a disagreement with a student. I can't remember what it was about but finally the teacher ask him if she wanted her to call his mother. The student replies, "do it then. My mama will agree with me too." The teacher then asks him to leave her class. He goes, "you know what I'm gonna call my mom for you." He then whips out his cell phone and calls his mom on speaker. "Hey, ma, this teacher want to talk to you."

The whole class just lost it.

unknown , ci Report

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#22

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) Back when I taught first grade, we were doing a writing assignment about Thanksgiving. The kids had to draw a picture of their family celebrating Thanksgiving, and then write about it. One little girl drew the table and chairs, and that was all. I knew she just didn't feel like doing the work, so I tried to prompt her. I asked where the food and her family were, and she snapped right back with, "They're washing the dishes." Had to give her credit for coming up with a logical argument for not doing the work!

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#23

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) In HS our Functions and Relations teacher would always start to say something, forget it and say, "I lost my train of thought." Well one day a buddy of mine replies, "It's okay sir, there were no important passengers onboard."

Edit: For those who are asking, Functions and relations is a subset of finite math. Think of an entire course on the quadratic equation and its various off shoots.

Yanahlua , Shubham Sharan Report

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beastmachine.
beastmachine.
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Functions and relations is really interesting as that's what the entire calculus builds upon

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#24

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) Our teacher was teaching us about the States of Matter, solid liquid and gas.

He was talking about how a solid you can break into littler pieces, but how you can't do the same to liquids or gases! So I blurt out "But you can break wind."

I still talk to that teacher and he says that was the best part of his teaching career. This was in 6th grade.

VintageMerryweather , Shubham Sharan Report

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#25

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) Well this one was during coaching classes for entrance exams.

The maths teacher reduced a given problem to a simpler form and challenged the students "So this expression doesn't fit any of the given standard forms for us to find the particular integral. So what do you propose we do?"

A kid from the back shouted "The next question"

unknown , sambalye Report

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#26

This isn't going to be as good as when spoken out loud, but I had a friend who got into an arguement with their teacher about the whole "I" before "E" except after "C" thing (and if it sounds like an "A" it's "ei")

My friend told his teacher that wasn't always true. So she got defensive and started going off about her lit degree and how she knows more than him.

His response was, "No, seriously, there are some weird words where that rule doesn't apply"

She kepts saying that it wasn't true and he kept saying the same thing over and over.

"There are some weird words where that doesn't apply"

He did this like 5 times and finally she snapped and yelled "LIKE WHAT?"

He just yells "WEIRD!!!"

She permanently kicked him out of her class for being a smart ass

Skootchy Report

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Robert T
Robert T
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'I' before 'E' except for exceptions and there are lots of them! Said the weird heir from the ceiling.

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#27

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) My aunt is a kindergarten teacher. She saw a kid carrying another kid on his back. She told them to not do that because they wouldn't grow. Then the kid on top ask her: '' And who did you carried? ''. My aunt is 1.54m tall.

WinKevin1 , Gabe Pierce Report

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I want cake
I want cake
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what you get when you arbitrarily police children's behaviour and give them a bogus reason for it 🤷

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#28

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) Not a teacher, but this happened in an upper level French class where you can only speak French. If you speak English, the teacher scolds you in French. My friend walked in a few minutes late for a quiz, and wasn't allowed to take it. My friend looked at the teacher and said (in english) "That's bulls**t." The teacher looked back angrily and said (also in english) "What did you just say?" My friend: "En Français Monsieur." He got kicked out of the class.

theproducer0210 , CDC Report

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#29

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) A kid mocked me when I said, "don't do that." I started to yell at him and he said, "no man, that's a song." He then spontaneously came up with a rap song called "don't do that" and his friends started making beats. I was no longer mad.

beefstewforyou , gcowie Report

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#30

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) Not a teacher, but witnessed as student.

We had a substitute who was leafing through the yearbook and got to the senior superlatives.

Our school mascot was the eagles. She started reading some if then aloud and said. "Oh that's nice, Sara most school spirited" a student answered back "Yeah, because she's always spread eagle".

The substitute couldn't keep from laughing, as much as she tried not to.

unkown , ikael_k Report

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Nat Hedley
Nat Hedley
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

'Our school mascot was the eagles.' What, like, the band?

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#31

Teacher said: "Now, where is Macau?"

Friend blurted out: "In m'field"

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#32

High school spanish, we had the absolute sh**tiest teacher ever (it was done over cameras and she simultaneously taught 3 classes...) everyone, including the class monitor hated her. Anyway, about halfway through the year enters Eddy, now eddy's mom moved from our little backwoods town years ago to pursue modeling in Spain. And has now returned with her son who was born and raised in Spain. People loved eddy, very bright, funny and had a very open/European personality. Of course eddy knew spanish, better than his English (which was atrocious and he kinda sounded like Arnold Schwarzenegger after a stroke). But I assume spanish class is pretty equivalent to English class...no-one talks like this and written/spoken English are two different beasts. After a test which he bombed he got in an argument over the Mic which was a classic "it's said like this" and "no, no the proper way is this" after a few minutes you could tell he had had it, he pushed the button on Mic to speak and literally said "Botch look.....I'm from f**ing Spain" and left the entire student population and her slack jawed and speechless

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wendillon avatar
Monday
Monday
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Problem with this....OP seems to be American. So the Spanish they would be studying would be Mexican Spanish, not Spain Spanish. If the variations in different types of English is anything to go by, Eddie may well have been wrong.

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#33

In men's choir in college, we were singing "The Little Drummer Boy". The director stopped our singing and explained something to us. He got distracted and went off on a tangent for about 5-7 minutes. Then he pulled himself back around but couldn't remember where he had stopped. He asked himself out loud, "Hmmm..now where were we?"

Someone in the basses said "I think we were on 'Pum'"

The whole choir just lost it.

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#34

I was a student in the class, not the teacher.

The class was Anatomy and Physiology, and we were studying human reproduction. Our teacher was discussing how measuring your basal body temperature to determine ovulation. She recommended that women take their temperature at bedtime, "just as your head hits the pillow."

One of the seniors piped up, "Wouldn't that ruin the mood?"

Our teacher had to go out in the hall, she was laughing so hard.

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#35

In Religious Studies:

Teacher: Ganesh is the remover of obstacles. I have a little statue of him in my house.

Me: Is he in your bathroom?

Teacher: Why would he be?

Me: Ganesh is the remover of obstacles, right?

That teacher laughed for 10 minutes straight

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#36

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) Vocabulary word was asinine. He said "I give her face a 3, but her asinine."

OhanaE , jamiehowardtaylor Report

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#37

People Are Sharing The Most Badass Responses From Students (30 Stories) I finished a proof and asked my students "How is this? Does everyone understand the choices I made?" A student responded "Are we talking about the proof or about the choices you've made in your life?"

ColdStainlessNail , myleon Report

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#38

My buddies and I used to like to play ultimate Frisbee on the football field during lunch. We were told not to, organized sports were supposed to be that... organized, they didn't want kids getting hurt without supervision.
Anyway, one day we said screw it and decided to do it anyway, so they turned the sprinklers on us... didn't stop us, we kept playing and finally they sent a security guard out to get us.

Detention for the rest of the day in the cold cafeteria... soaked and cold so we started chattering and talking, but it's hard to stay quiet when you're shivering. anyway, the coach watching over detention told everyone to "Shut up, you'all sound like a bunch of canaries in a cage" Everyone got silent.

then one person started it, and it slowly grew.

"Cheep"

"Cheep"

"Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep Cheep"

"moooo"

"Bahaha"

"ye-ha, ye-ha"

The Coach couldn't help but start laughing.

Then turned the air even colder... bastard.

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WilvanderHeijden
WilvanderHeijden
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

From the point to where they turned on the sprinklers the school started to become criminal. Child maltreatment still is a crime.

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#39

Good friend of mine was in philosophy 101 and the professor was discussing how nothing can be two things at once. He couldn't help himself and yelled out "what about a spork?"

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Pumpkin Spice
Pumpkin Spice
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What about a uterus? It tortures us with cramps and houses babies! It's a Crampy Valley!

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#40

My dad's a band teacher. One day a student forgot their instrument at home and my dad scolded them. "What is your clarinet doing at home??" Student: "Probably just sitting there."

I haven't thought about that story in a long time.

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Nadine Bamberger
Nadine Bamberger
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should definitely watch "The Secret Life of Woodwind Instruments 2", you'd be surprised.

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#41

In a high school physics class, we were learning about friction and what varies how strong it is. So, the teacher asks:

"So as an engineer, what would be some of the hard parts of designing, say, racing tires?"

Some kid in the back says,

"Getting out of bed in the morning"

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#42

Mandatory I'm-Not-A-Teacher, but here goes.

In choir one day, a male class clown was sitting with the soprano section before class. Teacher comes in and starts class without noticing him. He had long hair, but still hard to imagine. Anyway, twenty minutes in she realizes it and laughs a bit. She asks him if he's been there the whole time and that he must look like a girl to fit in so well.

Without missing a beat he replied, "I guess I am what I eat!"

The class and teacher lost it.

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#43

Finally time to shine! I'm not a teacher but was a student. My teacher was having a conversation with the class to kill time. Nothing super important and he cracks a 'your mom' joke and the kid snaps back 'you haven't even seen my mom' Then, in that split second silence, I say 'Yea, with the lights on.' lol. I wasn't allowed to talk for the rest of the period. 10/10 would do again.

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DE Ray
DE Ray
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think we should do away with your mother jokes. They're old and mean and stupid. Just like your mother.

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#44

I'm not a teacher, but I had a friend in school who was always pretty dramatic. She actually did have IBS though. So we're in this b**chy teachers class and she keeps asking to use the bathroom, the teacher says no, my friend's like, "I have IBS though!" and the teacher is like "Tell me what those initials mean and I will let you go." So she screams "IT MEANS I HAVE TO S**T" and takes off out of the room.

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#45

Some kid was skipping class and walked in after going to two lunches, and gave me some bulls**t excuse. So I start looking all around me, at my sleeves and chest and stuff.

Student: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Looking for the sign that says I'm an idiot"

Student(without missing a beat) : "Oh, it's on your back, so you can't see it"

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#46

This is more "well-timed" than "smart-ass", but once in middle school this kid next to me was looking and acting like he was sick, and asked to be excused from class. The teacher asked "Why?"

The kid was about to respond, but then immediately threw up all over his desk and onto the floor. After a bit of coughing, he looked up and muttered, "That's why."

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Jihana
Jihana
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would say that was solid proof that he needed to be excused. Only it was not solid.

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#47

I was the kid, and I was dead serious. 6th grade, teacher asked us for another word for a lawyer that starts with "A". Parroting back something my parents used at home, and without missing a beat, I blurted out "AMBULANCE CHASER!!!"

I don't remember if the teacher or my mother laughed harder.

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WilvanderHeijden
WilvanderHeijden
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Many years ago I saw a comic in MAD magazine where a tiny car softly rear ended a Greyhound Bus. All passengers stepped out of the bus holding their necks and screaming whiplash. I hope things have changed in 50 years.

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#48

This was while working with 9 year olds. We're doing number problems and a kid is having trouble with a sum. The sum is "You have 40 sweets. You give half your sweets to your friend. How many sweets do you have now". I grab 40 counters, and say to the kid "Here are 40 sweets. If you give me half, how many will you have left?". Kid turns to me, and utterly deadpan says " I can't give you the sweets. You aren't my friend"

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#49

Not a teacher, but I had a real "see you next tuesday" of a chemistry teacher. I was only a few steps away from the classroom entrance when the bell rang. She asked why I was late. Told her the bell rang before I got here. Since then, I never received above a C on any of my work. Even in group labs, I personally would receive a letter grade lower than my lab mates.

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#50

I live in a latin american country, so the name Jesús is really common So one day while in music class a mate from another class comes to give some kind of announcement. None of us are paying attention while he is trying to talk, so the teacher angrily shouts "Everyone listen to Jesus!!" to which a friend replied "Listen to his word, Hallelujah!"

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13
13
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hearing someone swear "jesus christ" and answering with "yes my child?"

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#51

I had a teacher when I was in 6th grade who had horrible breathe. Coffee + cigarettes. I told her that her breathe was nasty and she threatened to write a letter to my mom. I told her to lick the envelope and my mom would take my side.

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13
13
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Big difference between being rude and being honest.

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#52

Oldest meanest english teacher at my school was going over adjectives and modifiers all day, super boring. Reject student gets up to use bathroom and is told to get a hall pass. He then says something like "I hate these damn hall passes". Teacher is pissed and respond angrily with "What did you say?!", and the kid responds with "Damn Hall passes, Damn modifies hall passes." Mic drop and hes gone.

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Nadine Bamberger
Nadine Bamberger
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We were allowed to just get up quietly and go. Never once led to any mass exodus or turned the hallway into a battle zone.

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#53

I went to a Catholic high school. One day in religion class, a girl asked if dogs went to heaven. Our teacher said "no." The girl said, "But it happened in some movie" (I can't remember what movie she said. The teacher said "You can't believe what you see in movies." A guy in the back of the class jumped in and said "Passion of Christ was a movie."

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Airis Malfoy
Airis Malfoy
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think the movie the girl is talking about is "All Dogs Go to Heaven" most of you know it, but still 😁

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#54

Spanish class in high school. Two guys who grew up in Spanish-speaking families were goofing off at the back of class. One guy says that he could stand the weight of another person standing on his stomach, and the other guy who was probably just shy of 200 pounds doesn't believe him.

So the first guy gets on the ground in the back of class, and the other guy gets up and stands on his stomach. The teacher sees this, and immediately yelled at the guy on the ground to get back into his seat.

Without missing a beat, he says "I can't, he's standing on me!" The other guy doesn't move because he wasn't yelled at. Meanwhile the teacher continues to be upset that the guy on the ground isn't listening to her.

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#55

This happened to my best friend in his French high school physics class. One day the teacher was in a grouchy mood, and couldn't get the control of his class room (people talking, laughing, generally not paying attention). He was never good at controlling his class, but I guess this day he'd had enough. He goes off on a rant yelling and screaming about how he deserves respect, and how they need to listen. Mind you all of this is in french. He then goes to say that they should be polite because he is being polite.

Now Polite in french is "Polie" (pronounced Po-lee). So the teacher in his raging rant says: "MOI, JE SUIS POLIE", translating to "ME, I AM POLITE".

At this point the class goes silent for a moment, after my friend blurts out in english: "How ya doin Paulie".

At that point the tension was broken amongst the student, and laughter filled the room. The teacher wasn't impressed.

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beastmachine.
beastmachine.
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is it so difficult to respect a teacher, they are trying their best to teach y'all!?

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#56

Work in mental health. One day a kid had to do therapy work as a consequence for whatever it was he did the day before. So i asked him to draw me a picture of how he felt today. He heads out into the hallway.

Returns a few minutes later with a drawing of what looks like a bunch of tubes lying together. When I questioned him about it, his response was, "s**t. I feel like s**t today". Shrugged his shoulders and slugged his way back into the hall.

Couldn't even be mad. I still have that drawing and this was years ago.

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#57

"Why are you all talking?" "Because you're not!"

Second grade. Kid was sent out of the room.

This is in regards to the rule: "don't talk when the teacher's talking.

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Glirpy
Glirpy
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3 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

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#58

In middle school, in history class, this happened:

Girl: "Hey Mr. C, how do you spell (word idr)"

Mr. C: "D-I-C-T-I-O-N-A-R-Y"

she writes it down, stares at it for a moment trying to comprehend why it doesn't look right, gets pissed at teacher

Class is dying, teacher laughing as well.

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Chucky Cheezburger
Chucky Cheezburger
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hate it when teachers (or anyone) does this... Student::" How do you spell*unknown word*" Teacher::" Look it up in the dictionary." Student:: Wondering how to find a word they don't know how to spell in a giant book that is in ALPHABETICAL ORDER!!!

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#59

This is a story about me.

Back in the day, we were discussing in class what our term papers were going to be on. We go around the classroom saying our subject. It falls on me.

Me: "Space exploration"

Teacher: "... Well space is very big..."

Me: "That's accurate."

There were lots of laughs and I still feel bad about this occurrence today. I cringe at the thought of it and don't know if my teacher took it jokingly or if I seemed like a huge douchebag.

Ms. McPhillips, if you're reading this, I meant it jokingly!

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#60

In grade 8 we were learning some kinda tough math and the teacher wanted to challenge us and give us something just out of our skill range. Only problem was he needed to give us a mini lesson so we would be pointed in the right direction and do it ourself. It was close to the end of the day so we're all acting up and being loud as the teacher says "if you don't pay attention you won't be able to do this question!"

"Sure you can" shouts one of the genius kids.

"Then come up here and do it" planning on having the genius embarrass himself with this clearly advanced math for a 13 year old.

He hops up, grabs the chalk, starts workong on the problem narrating every step, drop the chalk and says "then just solve it normally" the teacher was stunned, likely because it was the right answer.

I have always wondered if this was some kind of fluke or is Lucas really was that smart.

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#61

Kid in my class asks the teacher how to spell 'opposition' and after she says 'O-P-P-' a friend of mine yells 'Yeah you know me!"

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#62

Not a teacher but in my high school chemistry class one of my classmates was quietly working on an assignment with headphones despite the school policy against it. He wasn't bothering anyone but since the teacher was a hard ass he approached the student.

Teacher : "Give me your iPod."

Classmate: "Give me your wallet."

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Chucky Cheezburger
Chucky Cheezburger
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If its against school policy have headphones on,fine, ask the student to take them off. But I feel the student had the right idea. I'll be damned if Im going to hand over my (Im guessing that at the time this happened) expensive electronics to someone without some way to ensure its return. Teacher may want a nice new Ipod, and guess where he found one. Teachers are human, and will steal jist like anyone else. On a side note, what happens if someone steals it from the teacher? Are they going to be responsible for something that was in their care? If someone steals it from the student thats the risk they take leaving the house with it.

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#63

My math teacher said: "If you don't understand, ask me. There are no stupid questions."

Where a guy in my class quickly responded: "Is that so? Do you cut your toe nails with a chainsaw?"

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Purple Panda Rae'n
Purple Panda Rae'n
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe it's time we turn the phrase "There are no stupid questions" into "It's never stupid to ask a question." Agree?

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#64

I'm a diving coach and I have 4 divers I'm responsible for so I don't usually get swimmers contact info. We were on our way to a meet and one of the swimmers was not on the bus. I said, "who has [redacted]'s number?"

No one.

So obviously I got mad, "this is your teammate and not one of you girls has her phone number to text her?" So one of my divers chimed in, "why don't you coach?" I said, "I have 4 divers, I don't need another 30 high school girls numbers in my phone."

She replied "Hahaha, you wish!"

Easily the best burn of my coaching career.

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#65

I'm not a teacher, I just want to share an experience with my classmate.

Director : Why are you late?

Classmate: Because I'm not early.

Director : Where are you coming from?

Classmate: Home.

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#66

I'm not a teacher, but this happened in one of my classes a few weeks back. My math teacher is a pretty chill guy and likes to share personal info every now and then, so he decides to tell the class he is getting married this summer break. Most of the class congratulates him and wishes him well, this one girl from the front of the class shouts out "It has been legal for a year now, why did you wait this long?" The whole class starts f**king dying laughing and the teacher is just sitting there with his mouth open.

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M O'Connell
M O'Connell
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this supposed to be a gay joke, or a sleeping-with-a-student joke?

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#67

Not a teacher but the answer is relevant. When I was in 7th grade I went to a private school. I had a friend who was a smartass and always gave fast witty responses to things. Our school was holding a bazaar to raise money for something before Christmas. When they do that a lot of church members would come in to cook all differnt kinds of food. The teacher told us one day "We're going to be eating bazaar lunches today." My friend said " You mean we're eating the schools lunches?"
In 7th grade that was a dynamite response. He might have got in a little bit of trouble but he was king of the room for the day.

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Purple Panda Rae'n
Purple Panda Rae'n
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol! This is funny because he (the "friend") must have heard "bizarre" instead of "bazaar."(✿◠‿◠)

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#68

A kid left a bag of flaming hot cheetos under his desk in my 1st period class. I sarcastically announced 2 my 2nd period class that "if you leave any food in my class I am going to eat it!!" Holding up the bag of cheetos. One kids responds..."well...someone should've left your fatass a salad"

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beastmachine.
beastmachine.
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3 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In what country are you allowed to be so disrespectful to your teacher?? At least in Asia calling your teacher a fatass will lead to you being suspended for week

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#69

Not a teacher but in class when I was younger a kid was causing trouble and the teacher got after him. The kid was complaining about the desks and the teacher asked "Should we just get rid of them all and sit in here Indian style."

The kid responded, "you mean with a six pack on the curb?"

He got kicked out.

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