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We all have our own definition of a good teacher but I think we can agree that the word "composed" is somewhere in it. However, if there's one thing students are good at, it's testing their limits.
Interested in how far the little devils can take it, Reddit user u/jeffzhang69 submitted a question to the platform, asking, "Teachers, what was the [sassiest] response from a student you have heard?" Turns out, there's many.
As of this article, the post has over 9K comments, many of which feature funny, disgusting, and even sad phrases students throw at their teachers.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I've told this story on reddit before but this really shy kid that doesn't really speak much was getting picked on by this mean girl when the teacher tells her "be nice to him, he might be your boss someday," without missing a beat he replies "no thanks, I don't want to be a pimp when I grow up."
To find out more about what goes on in the classroom, we contacted Larry Ferlazzo, who teaches English, Social Studies, and International Baccalaureate classes to English Language Learners and mainstream students at Luther Burbank High School in Sacramento, California.
"I know that the word 'discipline' is often connected to punishment or correction," Mr. Ferlazzo told Bored Panda. "If you go to its word roots in Latin, though, you'll see that it's mainly related to 'teaching, learning, knowledge.' I think teachers are likely to be far more effective in creating a positive classroom environment if they focus more on the latter definition than the former."
"This kind of positive classroom environment includes respect for a few simple rules but also allows for flexibility. It's based on strong relationships, both between teacher and students and between students themselves. It recognizes that we all have bad days, none of us are perfect, and that we all are part of a classroom community of learners and not just a room full of students. With that kind of focus, I think we're much more likely to create a safe and mutually respectful situation where students want to concentrate on learning instead of feeling like they are being forced to comply. Compliance does not equal engagement," Mr. Ferlazzo explained.
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#2
My history teacher would spend half the class making jokes directed at the students. One student in particular always took the jokes on the chin and never really made any comebacks.
Eventually, the teacher called him out and jokingly lectured him about standing up for himself. He ended his rant with "You've gotta be a man. You've gotta be like me."
The student replied with: "Well which one? Do you want me to be a man or do you want me to be like you?"
#3
Had my class of working class kids at an art gallery. As we waited for our tour to begin we played on the small playground near the door. A prep school kid in a uniform approached two of my boys and said, 'I bet I'm smarter than you are!' I watched to make sure no blood was drawn - my students can hold their own pretty much anywhere and they don't accept insults casually.
But they were cool. 'No you're not. Are you in Grade 2?' The boy said he was and one of my boys said, So Then we're all grade 2. So we are all grade 2 smart.' He went back to climbing the monkey bars.
But the prep school kid continued. 'I know I'm smarter. Let's do some math and I'll prove it.'
The toughest kid in my room looked this guy square in the eye and said, 'Well, I'm smart enough not to do math when I'm having fun on a playground.'
beastmachine. 3 years ago
Oh that's pretty smart. Even some adults can't seem to understand that different spaces are for different tasks
Before they respond to disrespectful student comments, Mr. Ferlazzo said teachers need to reflect on a number of issues, including:
- Is the comment truly disrespectful, or am I letting my privilege and lack of knowledge make me feel defensive, or am I demonstrating a lack of a sense of humor?
- Are student comments reflecting a lack of respect that I am showing my students, and are they just reflecting back on the way I treat them?
- Is this student generally respectful and, if he/she is, what might be going on for them that is making them have a bad day?
#4
A kid in my math class would sleep on his desk. One day the teacher called on him to answer a problem on the chalk board. He woke up, solved the problem on the board with zero difficulty, and then just went back to sleep.
The teacher repeated the same thing a few times with similar results, and then just let him sleep the rest of the year.
#5
I witnessed a rather sad one.
In my chemistry class sophomore year one of my friends was going through some family issues, and his dad just left for a year or so. The kid was acting up in class and the teacher was like "Do you want me to call your dad?" and he was like "If he picks up tell him to come home soon."
~hUmMuS vIbEs~ 3 years ago
God, if I was that teacher I would've felt like crap for ages regretting that.
Assuming the teacher has a good relationship with the student (which, in most cases, teachers should have worked very hard at achieving), Mr. Ferlazzo said they could:
- Go to the student and whisper a request for them to go outside so the two can have a conversation ("I didn't feel respected when ____ was said" and/or "Are you okay?" and/or "It sounds like you are upset. Can you tell me what's going on?"
- Ignore it and proceed with the lesson, and find the student later in the day (perhaps during the teacher's free period) to have a similar conversation.
"It's important to not get into a power struggle with the student because a teacher will never win one," Mr. Ferlazzo explained. "It may feel like a victory, but it will only be temporary."
#6
For context this was at a Catholic school, and the teacher (a very stern fire and brimstone nun) and the student (an extremely liberal anglican) had been at each others nerves all year. After correcting the teacher on something she had gotten wrong, the nun said something along the lines of "I hope you learn to enjoy the heat because it's going to be very hot when you end up in the deepest level of hell."
And entirely unruffled, without a moment's hesitation she responded "Actually, according to Dante's inferno the deepest level of hell is made of ice, but don't worry I'll bring a jacket."
#7
I've taught preschool for years, and one of my favorite "dad" responses to children who are being whiny just to whine is the "Hi, _____. I'm your teacher!" (Eg- "I'm thirsty." "Hi, Thirsty. I'm your teacher!"). Anyway, one day, after a long week, I sat down to lunch with my class (preschool, remember? 4-5 year olds), and say to a child (we'll call him Tommy), "Boy, Tommy. I'm really tired today." Without skipping a beat, he swallows his Mac-n-cheese, looks me right in the eyes and says, "Hi, Really Tired. I'm Tommy." That was the day I knew I had taught him all I could.
"It is never okay for teachers to make [cheeky] comments," Mr. Ferlazzo said. "Does that mean we never make them? Of course not. If we make them, a public apology is always required. We have to model the importance of righting a wrong."
"I think it might be worth teachers developing flexibility about what student comments they consider disrespectful, and what could, instead, be insightful, humorous, or just a failed attempt at humor because of a lack of student maturity. Then, it's not a matter of letting remarks 'slide.' Rather, it can demonstrate to students that you don't see the world just with a clear-cut vision - that ambiguity is okay."
Mr. Ferlazzo believes that even with all these ideas on how to "de-escalate," however, there may be times when a comment is genuinely disrespectful, and "that it could be the first sign of a situation that could get dangerously out of control. In those situations, a call to the office for a campus monitor to remove the student from your classroom may be the least bad option." However, if teachers do that, they have polarized' the situation — once you polarize a situation, it's essential that you de-polarize it, perhaps by a conversation the next morning before class.
"By far, the best way to reduce the chances of disrespectful comments from students is to build relationships so that students know and feel like the teacher truly cares about them as people, is interested in their hopes and dreams, and wants to help students achieve them," Mr. Ferlazzo concluded.
#8
Does it count if it was me?
Gr. 12 religion teacher at a Catholic school tried to tell every one that ejaculating inside a woman will get her pregnant 100% of the time.
My hand shot right up to counter the bulls**t of that statement that he was trying to pass on as fact. I believe I quoted studies putting the percentage in the low single digits, and pointed out how many couples have to go through great lengths in order to conceive.
Mr. Bullsh**er counters back with "Well you see, OiMcCoy, In my personal experience..."
Thanks to him never shutting up about his family and home life and the bizarre rules about teachers strictly adhering to Catholic dogma when it comes to sex, I knew I had him on the ropes.
"Sir, you have been married for 12 years and have two sons. Are you telling us you have only slept with your wife twice?"
Easily my favorite memory from high school.
Nadine Bamberger 3 years ago
Don't have unprotected sex unless both parties are okay with a pregnancy though. Or an STD
#9
Kid has his head down at the back of science class everyday. Never does any work, but we all know he's quite smart. Teacher calls him out for it one day and says "Why do you sleep so much at the back of the class? Do you think you're smarter than everyone? Do you think you know everything in the book?
He raises his head wearily and says, "i've done all the work at home just leave me alone"
"ALL OF IT!? REALLY!?"
"Yes."
"If you can answer a few questions on the book you can sleep for the rest of the term!"
"OK"
"If you can't then you'll sit right at the front and not put your head down once."
"OK"
He then began to answer every question the teacher could throw at him, she even pulled up stuff we werent ever going to study in the back of the book and he just answered every question flawlessly... by the end of this 3 minute exchange he asked "We done?"
The teacher, was speechless, so he said "thanks" and put his head down again.
It was sick.
Nadine Bamberger 3 years ago
I hope the teacher then got him into a program for gifted students.
#10
I had a friend who told the teacher he wasn't going to be able come to an after school event. She started fussing at him telling him that he wouldn't ever to make it college because of how irresponsible he was. When she finally asked why he couldn't come, he replied, "My house burned down."
Steve 3 years ago
I missed an Art History lesson (during "A" levels - I'm from the UK) and my tutor kicked off the next time I was in class, explaining quite angrily to me how Id have to stay late, catch up and be more dedicated. She then asked where I had been, to which I had to explain in front of the how class I'd been at my grandfather's funeral (I really had been). She when very quiet, uttered an apology and didn't bother me at all for the rest of the lesson.
#11
MY FRIEND, BRIAN was in his home-room class back in high school. The topic of abortion came up as everyone was asking each other if/why they're either against, or pro-abortion. We're in Texas so you can assume the ideas and opinions of the majority of the class.
So my friend is a very intelligent and quiet fellow. Minding his own business in a corner of the room. The class turns to him to get his opinion on the matter.
Someone- "Brian, you've been quiet over there. So what about you? Are you Pro-Abortion?"
Brian- "Well, I wouldn't say I'm pro... but I'm pretty good with a coat hanger."
Jaws drop, the room is silent as everyone is registering what just happened.
Glad I made it to school that day.
AngelWingsYT 3 years ago
And they never asked him his opinion on hard topics again n just left him be to himself🤣
#12
There was this one kid in class who was listening to music in class, had one earbud in. My teacher asks him "Are you guarding the president" as a funny way to ask him to stop. The kid replied with "I'm not at liberty to say", teacher couldn't get mad at him.
Purple Panda Rae'n 3 years ago
Bwah-ah-ah-ah! Such a realistic answer to such a silly comment!
#13
Student A says to student B, "Dude, shut the f**k up!"
Staff says, "Student A, we don't talk that way. In the future find a more appropriate way of expressing yourself."
Student A says to staff, "Oh, sorry" then turns to student B and says, "Dude, would you please shut the f**k up."
#14
Let me point out that I'm female since people will assume I'm a guy. I taught in an inner city school. We were talking about prime numbers so I would have kids give me a number and we'd work out if the number was a prime number on the board. One kid wasn't paying attention so me being a young teacher I thought I'd catch him off guard and call on him. It went something along the lines of
"Marc, do you have a number?"
"Huh"
"I need your number."
"Sheeeit, play it cool, girl. We can talk after class."
The whole room lost their s**t and I turned red from embarassment. They then laughed at how red I got.
#15
Not a teacher but witnessed as a student. There was literally 30 seconds left of class and my buddy starts to pack up. The teacher didn't seem to mind but when the bell rang and buddy got up to leave the teacher said the classic line "the bell doesn't dismiss you, I do" and buddy just continues to leave, gets in the doorway of the class and says "If it decides when I come, it decides when I leave" and just leaves the class.
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
Very valid response. Chances are he knew that he would get detention if he showed up late for the next class and saying that the previous teacher kept him too long, would be deemed disrespectful so he gets some extra detention for that as well.
#16
I had a teacher tell a classmate "no drinks in class". He got up from his seat, picked up the teachers drink, and deposited in the garbage with his drink. She sent him to the office.
#17
We had a teacher that would always threaten to phone our home if we were misbehaving. Which she promptly stopped after: Teacher: "What would your mother say if I called home right now?" Student: "She would say hello."
#18
Just yesterday actually.
One of my classes is fun in that we give each other hard times, but all in good fun and accomplish a lot. A girl starts giggling uncontrollably for no reason, and she's a bit of an airhead so I asked her if she saw something shiny and if that entertained her.
Another boy jumps in and says "Yeah Mister, your head"
I'm going bald. I wanted to pretend to be mad but it was just too damn funny
#19
Student in my spanish class was sleeping, like always. Teacher finally got tired of it and tried to embarrass him by waking him up and yell at him in spanish. The student responded with, "I'm back here minding my own business, not causing any sort of distractions at all, and you decide to stop everyone's learning by trying to make me look stupid. We all know I have no idea what you're saying, so please stop disrupting the class and let me go back to not bothering anyone." She never said another word to him.
#20
My Sister (who is a teacher) was taking her kindergarten class through the lunch line. Well, this day was St. Patrick Day, so there was green cupcakes. My sister told the class (jokingly) don't eat too many cupcakes, or you'll turn green.
A young black boy looks up at her and says "Miss Kerri, I ain't never seen a green brother before!"
#21
In high school one of my teachers was having a disagreement with a student. I can't remember what it was about but finally the teacher ask him if she wanted her to call his mother. The student replies, "do it then. My mama will agree with me too." The teacher then asks him to leave her class. He goes, "you know what I'm gonna call my mom for you." He then whips out his cell phone and calls his mom on speaker. "Hey, ma, this teacher want to talk to you."
The whole class just lost it.
#22
Back when I taught first grade, we were doing a writing assignment about Thanksgiving. The kids had to draw a picture of their family celebrating Thanksgiving, and then write about it. One little girl drew the table and chairs, and that was all. I knew she just didn't feel like doing the work, so I tried to prompt her. I asked where the food and her family were, and she snapped right back with, "They're washing the dishes." Had to give her credit for coming up with a logical argument for not doing the work!
#23
In HS our Functions and Relations teacher would always start to say something, forget it and say, "I lost my train of thought." Well one day a buddy of mine replies, "It's okay sir, there were no important passengers onboard."
Edit: For those who are asking, Functions and relations is a subset of finite math. Think of an entire course on the quadratic equation and its various off shoots.
beastmachine. 3 years ago
Functions and relations is really interesting as that's what the entire calculus builds upon
#24
Our teacher was teaching us about the States of Matter, solid liquid and gas.
He was talking about how a solid you can break into littler pieces, but how you can't do the same to liquids or gases! So I blurt out "But you can break wind."
I still talk to that teacher and he says that was the best part of his teaching career. This was in 6th grade.
#25
Well this one was during coaching classes for entrance exams.
The maths teacher reduced a given problem to a simpler form and challenged the students "So this expression doesn't fit any of the given standard forms for us to find the particular integral. So what do you propose we do?"
A kid from the back shouted "The next question"
#26
This isn't going to be as good as when spoken out loud, but I had a friend who got into an arguement with their teacher about the whole "I" before "E" except after "C" thing (and if it sounds like an "A" it's "ei")
My friend told his teacher that wasn't always true. So she got defensive and started going off about her lit degree and how she knows more than him.
His response was, "No, seriously, there are some weird words where that rule doesn't apply"
She kepts saying that it wasn't true and he kept saying the same thing over and over.
"There are some weird words where that doesn't apply"
He did this like 5 times and finally she snapped and yelled "LIKE WHAT?"
He just yells "WEIRD!!!"
She permanently kicked him out of her class for being a smart ass
#27
My aunt is a kindergarten teacher. She saw a kid carrying another kid on his back. She told them to not do that because they wouldn't grow. Then the kid on top ask her: '' And who did you carried? ''. My aunt is 1.54m tall.
I want cake 3 years ago
That's what you get when you arbitrarily police children's behaviour and give them a bogus reason for it 🤷
#28
Not a teacher, but this happened in an upper level French class where you can only speak French. If you speak English, the teacher scolds you in French. My friend walked in a few minutes late for a quiz, and wasn't allowed to take it. My friend looked at the teacher and said (in english) "That's bulls**t." The teacher looked back angrily and said (also in english) "What did you just say?" My friend: "En Français Monsieur." He got kicked out of the class.
#29
A kid mocked me when I said, "don't do that." I started to yell at him and he said, "no man, that's a song." He then spontaneously came up with a rap song called "don't do that" and his friends started making beats. I was no longer mad.
#30
Not a teacher, but witnessed as student.
We had a substitute who was leafing through the yearbook and got to the senior superlatives.
Our school mascot was the eagles. She started reading some if then aloud and said. "Oh that's nice, Sara most school spirited" a student answered back "Yeah, because she's always spread eagle".
The substitute couldn't keep from laughing, as much as she tried not to.
What do you think ?
Olive 3 years ago
I said this in an above post but I'm going to say it again. I know that teachers especially in the US are completely undervalued and over worked but why do so many teachers think it's OK to try to embarrass or bully their students? We have no clue what the home lives of these kids are like. There's always a chance that they get enough of that at home, maybe worse, they don't need it at school too especially from their teachers. And why are so many threatening to call home too? So odd.
Ben Moss 3 years ago
I’ve had some Terrible teachers in 1st and 2nd grade. Verbally abusive, using humiliation and corporal punishments. When my parents complained the principal stood up for them because they “prayed with him” so they “couldn’t be bad” Most of my family are teachers so I know what a good educator should be, but some teachers are just scumbags straight out of The Wall. Any kid who fights against that kind of authority is a hero in my book
Load More Replies...
cassiushumanmother 3 years ago (edited)
My sassy reply at being bullied by a technology teacher for an hour the day my aunt was buried (i was sad and my eyes were showing that i have cried a lot, he was mocking me for an hour for it "your boyfriend dumped you?you will find another one" and other very smart sentences for an hour). Teacher: - "so you want to do a hairdressing internship?!" (because i was moving the hair of my working pair from our papers). - "No sir, i would do an idiocy internship to become a technology teacher." . I was evicted for a week but it was totally worth it. When he knew why i was so sad with shitty eyes he made poor apologies and he gave me candy for the rest of the year.
cassiushumanmother 3 years ago
Just adding that i have nothing against technology teachers in general, that was just a way to say "you are an idiot" without actually saying it.
Load More Replies...
IlovemydogShilo 3 years ago (edited)
I went to a Catholic school that was run by nuns. I HATED them as everybody even the teachers who weren't nuns did. The worst was the headmistress Sister Mary. When a friend of mine got pregnant at 16 she was furious. She expelled my friend from the school and used her as an example as to what would happen if any other student got pregnant. We were raging. This girl was popular and was really missed. She gave us all a lecture of the "Sins of the flesh and that any teenage girl that had a baby so young was nothing but a common whore and a s**t.(yes she did use those words). We were livid with her. I hated that woman. So I got back at her. I raised my hand and pointed at the statue of Our Lady Mary Queen of Heaven that was behind her and said "what about Mary, The Mother of Jesus? the deity you and the other nuns base a major part of your religion on?" She got pregnant at 14 didn't she and I bet you wouldn't call her a s**t or a whore, would you?" She just stormed out in a huff.
Olive 3 years ago
I said this in an above post but I'm going to say it again. I know that teachers especially in the US are completely undervalued and over worked but why do so many teachers think it's OK to try to embarrass or bully their students? We have no clue what the home lives of these kids are like. There's always a chance that they get enough of that at home, maybe worse, they don't need it at school too especially from their teachers. And why are so many threatening to call home too? So odd.
Ben Moss 3 years ago
I’ve had some Terrible teachers in 1st and 2nd grade. Verbally abusive, using humiliation and corporal punishments. When my parents complained the principal stood up for them because they “prayed with him” so they “couldn’t be bad” Most of my family are teachers so I know what a good educator should be, but some teachers are just scumbags straight out of The Wall. Any kid who fights against that kind of authority is a hero in my book
Load More Replies... cassiushumanmother 3 years ago (edited)
My sassy reply at being bullied by a technology teacher for an hour the day my aunt was buried (i was sad and my eyes were showing that i have cried a lot, he was mocking me for an hour for it "your boyfriend dumped you?you will find another one" and other very smart sentences for an hour). Teacher: - "so you want to do a hairdressing internship?!" (because i was moving the hair of my working pair from our papers). - "No sir, i would do an idiocy internship to become a technology teacher." . I was evicted for a week but it was totally worth it. When he knew why i was so sad with shitty eyes he made poor apologies and he gave me candy for the rest of the year.
cassiushumanmother 3 years ago
Just adding that i have nothing against technology teachers in general, that was just a way to say "you are an idiot" without actually saying it.
Load More Replies... IlovemydogShilo 3 years ago (edited)
I went to a Catholic school that was run by nuns. I HATED them as everybody even the teachers who weren't nuns did. The worst was the headmistress Sister Mary. When a friend of mine got pregnant at 16 she was furious. She expelled my friend from the school and used her as an example as to what would happen if any other student got pregnant. We were raging. This girl was popular and was really missed. She gave us all a lecture of the "Sins of the flesh and that any teenage girl that had a baby so young was nothing but a common whore and a s**t.(yes she did use those words). We were livid with her. I hated that woman. So I got back at her. I raised my hand and pointed at the statue of Our Lady Mary Queen of Heaven that was behind her and said "what about Mary, The Mother of Jesus? the deity you and the other nuns base a major part of your religion on?" She got pregnant at 14 didn't she and I bet you wouldn't call her a s**t or a whore, would you?" She just stormed out in a huff.
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