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There’s no denying that men and women often see the world through different lenses, but it seems the gap between them is growing wider. According to the Survey Center on American Life, only 42% of young men feel that women recognize the problems they face. At the same time, 72% of young women believe men don’t fully grasp their struggles.

Clearly, there’s a need for better communication to bridge this divide. To share their side of the story, men on Reddit recently opened up about what they wish women would understand about them.

Read on to see their perspectives, along with expert advice from Kevin Pasco, relationship coach for men, on building better relationships with women.

More info: Instagram | YouTube

#1

A man expressing frustration, his hand covering part of his face, illustrating struggles men wish women knew. Sometimes you are wrong. There are things that a lot of women do that are toxic, even sexist. You are not perfect.

JekPorkinsIsAlright , Adrian Swancar Report

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Nina
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No human is flawless. And just because you are a woman, doesn't mean you are automatically the victim. Both sexes can show abhorrent behaviour unfortunately.

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#2

When we ask you "what's wrong" just tell us what's wrong in simple terms. We can't read minds.

Shadow948 Report

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David Morgan
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

PLEASE, everyone, stop doing the "If you don't know I'm not going to tell you" s**t. Maybe I should already know from context, maybe not, but the fact is that right now I DON'T. This applies to everyone.

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#3

Just because I'm talking to you doesn't mean I'm trying to hit on you. It just means I'm talking to you.

Belteshazzar98 Report

In 2024, the age of smartphones, social media, and dating apps, men are struggling to form meaningful relationships—so much so that it’s been labeled the “male loneliness epidemic.”

The numbers tell a clear story. Research from 2021 revealed that 15% of men say they have no close friends—a significant jump from just 3% in 1990. Another study by Equimundo in 2023 showed that a majority of men, from older millennials to Gen Z, agreed with the statement, “No one really knows me well.” Among all the groups, Gen Z expressed this sentiment the most.

In terms of romance, men appear to be trailing behind women. According to a 2022 Pew Research Center survey, 6 in 10 men under 30 are single—nearly double the rate of women in the same age group. The Equimundo study also found that about 1 in 5 men are either not seeking a relationship or are unable to find sexual partners.

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#4

This is a 'some women' deal: I wish more people (in general) realized that 'men' and 'women' aren't teams. Just like I don't have to back up every single thing a guy does because I'm a guy, you don't automatically have to back up a woman because you're both women.

Current_Poster Report

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Helena
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Women holding up other women is historically the only way we get any improvements in our lives. Like the vote.

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#5

Man sitting indoors with his hand on his face, illustrating struggles men experience. That we have feelings and should be able to share them. Yet societal norms have me feeling weak for even saying this.

Aware_Opportunity_80 , christopher lemercier Report

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Iampenny
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think most women accept this fact, at least most women that I know. I know there are societal norms by which men feel they shouldn't talk about their feelings, and I am sorry about that, but if men in general don't start trying to break these societal norms, nothing will ever change.

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#6

Man in winter jacket smiling during a conversation outdoors, highlighting struggles men experience. Most of the time, when men say something, there is no hidden meaning.

Low-Temporary6308 , Brock Wegner Report

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David Morgan
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Obviously a generalisation, but in my experience, men prefer to be direct - if they like you or dislike you, they won't hide it. If there's a conflict they will deal with it and then move on, sort of resetting back to neutral. Men don't tend to hang on to grudges without acting on them, and the acting on them purges them (mostly). All opinions my own etc etc.

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Feeling abandoned by society, it’s not much of a surprise that many men feel bitter. Unfortunately, some have directed their anger outward, blaming women for their loneliness.

However, Kevin Pasco, relationship coach for men, believes this approach is misguided.

“So many men are frustrated with women (and vice versa) because we’re being taught all the wrong ways to have a relationship,” Pasco told Bored Panda. “Men aren’t being taught how to be solid leaders, how to communicate, how to connect with their feelings, and most importantly, how beautiful it is to have a deep relationship with a woman.”

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“It’s become more common for men to be involved in hook-up culture, avoid being vulnerable, and only focus on what they can get instead of what they can give,” he added.

#7

Man in a hoodie with eyes closed, representing struggles men wish women knew. That we can in fact think about nothing.

And that deep breath we do isn’t sighing.

It’s our brain remembering that we need to breathe.

SnooLemons5609 , Elijah Hiett Report

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Lost Panda
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My wife gets annoyed with the big breath and asks why I have an attitude. Nope, just trying not to suffocate over here

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#8

Confident man in a business suit holding a folder, reflecting struggles men wish women knew. Telling a guy that since he is a man he should " help you open the door", "let you walk in first" or "carry the heavy things" is like telling a girl that since she is a woman she should "smile more" or "dress modestly" or " be more quiet".

chickenlord11111 , Getty Images Report

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Child of the Stars
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

While I agree on most of these points, I'm definitely asking the person with a significantly higher upper body strength than me to "carry the heavy things" simply because you're less likely to hurt yourself than I am.

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#9

A man and woman discussing financial struggles, sitting on a couch with papers and a laptop. That we aren’t mansplaining every time we are explaining something… (but look at me, mansplaining mansplaining).

anon , Getty Images Report

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Iampenny
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men, women don't always think you are mansplaining when you explain things, but men do actually mansplain A LOT

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“One of the biggest things stopping men from having better relationships with women is that most men aren’t in their masculine energy,” Pasco explained. “And I don’t mean being jacked, having a beard, and drinking whiskey—what society thinks being masculine is.”

In Pasco’s view, true masculinity means having a clear goal or vision in life and actively pursuing it, being clear about what you want, and offering safe, protective energy in a relationship. “When you have those things down as a man, you’ll naturally attract a feminine partner who complements your masculine energy,” he said.

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#10

Man in casual attire sitting with a coffee cup, contemplating struggles men wish women knew. That sometimes we just need a bit of quiet time to recharge—it's not about pushing anyone away.

sensaationsensuous , Michael Proctor Report

#11

A couple lying in bed, woman looks thoughtful, highlighting struggles men wish women knew. That humans are sensitive creatures plain and simple. Men are just as sensitive as women but can be socially conditioned to perceive this as weakness and close it off. Men can quickly lean towards anger or bravado as defence mechanisms but if you peel back the layers of any person, inside is a sensitive inner child, that grew older, they have fears, hopes, needs. A man cannot be a stoic monolith, he needs support and encouragement as well as a place to feel safe to be vulnerable.

mynamesnotchom , Getty Images Report

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#12

Couple embracing on a beach, man in plaid jacket, reflecting struggles men face in relationships. We like to be hugged.

HighLord-Skeletor , Felicia Montenegro Report

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Ace
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Only by my partner. Man-hugging, or indeed non-partner hugging with any gender, is something I hate. Yes, I know it's a me problem.

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Pasco advises men looking to improve their relationships with women to take responsibility for the challenges they face. “Many men aren’t taught how to communicate or express themselves, and that isn’t their fault—but it is their responsibility to do something about it,” he said.

To make that happen, men should also have a strong idea of what they want. “You need to be clear with your intentions so you can step into your masculine energy and start attracting the kind of woman you want to be with,” he noted.

Finally, Pasco encourages men to learn how to connect with women and open up emotionally. “Men say they want a meaningful relationship but then get scared when it’s time to be vulnerable enough to create that depth,” he shared. “It’s far better to take the risk of being vulnerable than to stay scared and never experience true intimacy.”

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#13

A huge number of us are 1 bad day from offing ourselves.

flashesfromtheredsun Report

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Child of the Stars
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is a HUGE way in which toxic masculinity affects literally everyone, not just women.

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#14

Just because we like Disney, Acting, and Music doesn't automatically mean we're gay, please talk to us!!! 🥺.

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Fat Harry (Oi / You)
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I sing Disney songs (terribly) when I'm cooking. Does that make me less of a man? No... but it does make me feel like more of a Princess :D

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#15

Man sitting in a kitchen, looking thoughtfully at his phone, representing struggles men wish women knew. Intentionally creating distance or being cold to see if a guy will chase and respond the “right way” might not send the signal you hope it does. Dudes are way more emotional about small details than you might think.

wagimus , awar kurdish Report

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David Morgan
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have genuinely never understood this concept - 'testing' things by stressing them. What do you possibly hope to gain from it? If you act distant and un-interested and the person takes you at face value, you lose a perfectly good potential partner. If you act distant and un-interested and the person keeps on pushing, is that because they really care or because they are a creepy predator? If you act etc with an existing partner and they 'pass the test', is that good enough or do you need to do another test to make sure? Where does it end except the test finally failing when the relationship breaks under the strain?

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#16

Man in a green shirt sitting on a bed, appearing thoughtful, representing struggles men wish women knew. Using our own emotions against us is a bad idea. .

EatMoarSammiches , Victoria Romulo Report

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Luis Hernandez Dauajare
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Using anyone's emotions against them is a bad idea. Emotional manipulation is toxic regardless of gender or sex.

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#17

Men are 3.8 times more likely to die by [self-harm] than women. Some of us may act like we big, tough, emotionless people on the outside, but we do feel inside.

lojafan Report

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Tyke
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Suic!de is the biggest killer of men under 50 in the UK. There have been quite a few campaigns here about male mental health - this one I thought was particularly good https://www.itv.com/thismorning/articles/project-84-we-join-the-campaign-to-prevent-male-suicide

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#18

You should not trust women to give you advice about men.

If you want to know how to treat a man, ask him. ASK THE MAN HIMSELF !

Also don't ask Reddit either. A woman looking a man in the eye and asking him a question will get a more authentic answer than reddit. every man is different and every encounter is situational.

This sounds really complicated, but it is not.

If you want a man to do something ask him to do it. If you want to know what a man wants ask him.

ricko_strat Report

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Helena
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You have clearly never been on the receiving end of a manipulative man.

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#19

Woman warmly interacting with a man in a winter setting, reflecting struggles men wish women knew. Men need physical affection. It's how we communicate our feelings. Just watch a bunch of guys hanging out and count how often the touch, push, hit, grab, bump or wrestle. It will blow your mind when you start to see it. If you tell someone you love them 20 times a day but never touch them, they will constantly doubt that you do, in fact, love them. It doesn't mean constant sex either (although most of us wouldn't complain) but just little things throughout the day. Smack his a*s, hug him from behind when he isn't expecting it, or (and this is God tier) run your fingers through his hair with his head on your lap.

tman37 , Kateryna Hliznitsova Report

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Child of the Stars
Community Member
6 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's all fine and likely more true than not. Except that in my experience, men tend to assume that physical touch from a woman = take me upstairs and f.u.c.k. my brains out right tf now.

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#20

A lot of us are silent when we're mad/upset/frustrated and don't say anything because we outmass you by 100 lbs and historically speaking people get scared if we show our negative emotions. So we've learned that it's less of a problem if we just seethe and then take the anger out on a bunch of zombies in a video game later.

limbodog Report

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Jostanquecla
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know why but this one particularly bothers me. Maybe because I'm frequently on the receiving end of those negative emotions that make "people get scared".

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#21

Man sleeping in a car, illustrating struggles men wish women knew, wearing a black shirt with a watch showing peaceful rest. Male struggles. Every time I have ever brought up the struggles men face in the modern world with a woman, she has played the victim card and told me (maybe not directly) that my problems don't matter and my life is easy

anon , Emin Mammadov Report

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Liklik Snek
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's just a s****y reaction. Everyone has their package to carry, no matter of gender, age or income.

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#22

Man in a blue shirt and black beanie, pondering struggles men wish women knew, with blurred lights in the background. I really am listening to everything you say every day. I am listening to every observation, every feeling, every anecdote, every joke, how your day went, how your sister is, how your boobs are too big and causing back issues, the crazy driver you saw on the way to work, how bland lunch was, the men in your workplace ignoring womens contributions and ideas, your coworker going through a divorce, how your hair hates the humidity, your nails are overdue for salon. I really am listening! I just don't know which of those topics to latch on to for further discussion.

mintylips , Frederick Shaw Report

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David Morgan
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Communication is key - some women absolutely want active responses to what they are saying (questions, clarificatione etc), others want you to just listen (just being there is important), others want you to listen but show appropriate emotions etc. It's so much easier to ask, early on in the relationship, rather than get progressivly more irritated over time.

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#23

Man in casual attire reading a newspaper, illustrating struggles men wish women knew. Im spreading my legs, NOT because I am a misogynist who thinks that by doing so I can oppress women and further support the patriarchy, but rather nature has placed a group of very sensitive "instruments" directly between my two strongest muscles and did not think to leave a natural spot for them to rest.

garry4321 , Marina Zvada Report

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Green Tree
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean yeah we understand you guys have balls and feel free to spread away when there is room bit that's different than being a jerk with personal space when the situation is crowded

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#24

That your breast size does not equal your womanliness this has been like the biggest insecurity most girls i’ve dated have. i think you girls care more than guys care.

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David Morgan
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

See also penis size for men. We have convinced ourselves that this is a make-or-break matter for women, but apparently we haven't checked with women themselves.

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#25

We love it when women make the first move.

None of this "confessing" c**p, it's a lot of pressure to have that kind of grand declaration thrown at you, just be direct: "I think you're cute and I would like to go on a date". No subtle hints and then wondering "why isn't he asking me out?".

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L.V
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a woman who is not traditionally pretty, I have made the first move many times, been rejected (that's fine, I can handle that), and made fun of for even asking ( not cool!). Thankfully I found the right one and married him.

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#26

Man in a black shirt by the water expressing surprise, highlighting men's struggles in communication. That I, as a man, am pretty much completely unable to get "men" to stop being violent. I am not violent. I have no friends who are violent. And my career as a masked crusader to fight crime would be very short indeed. So before you say that men are the ones who have to fix problems with sexual assault, r**e, domestic violence, and so on, please consider that.

Common-Wish-2227 , fotodinero Report

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Susie Elle
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The question is not to fight the fight for us, it's to fight it WITH us, and you CAN have influence on how others behave when you call them out on it when it happens. You don't have to go look for it, but when it finds you, speak up. That type of man won't take a woman seriously, so we need your help there.

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#27

I wish more women would not confuse indifference with intimidated. Most men are indifferent to your income, your education, or your status we really could care less because we know it does not affect us at all.

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#28

Men are not stupid and insensitive creatures. We have feelings too. Sometime when yall females do hurtful things or say hurtful things to us it hurts us, even though we don't point it out in front of your face, because we don't want to escalate the issue. We don't want to get into your gaslighting rabbit holes.

HighlyPossible Report

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BTDubs
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

IDK saying "men" and then "FeEmaLEs" just rubs me up the wrong way. Like, maybe try not to dehumanize women?

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#29

A couple sitting by a lake, highlighting struggles men wish women knew. We have more of the human experience in common with you than we don't. If you feel a way about a thing, it's not unlikely that we will experience something similar.

Remember that every perceived difference between men and women informs one's understanding of what men and women are, and that informs one's understanding of who they are and how they are supposed to be, which informs one's actions, which informs the perceived differences between men and women. It's a pretty shrill feedback loop.

RoyalOrganization676 , KaLisa Veer Report

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#30

When i get asked if everything is alright, and i say yes, please accept the yes and dont try to force or interpret something and ask 4 more times. We will talk, but not when forced or pushed into the convsersation like that. It results in the opposite of what you want.

Ok_Explanation3081 Report

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Susie Elle
Community Member
6 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think lots of men who do this are unaware of the nonverbal signals they're sending out. I've had partners who were like this, but for the entire time they're trying to unwrap and tackle an issue in their minds because they 'think they should solve it alone first', they're being grumpy, cold and distant. Please realize that your partner will immediately notice you're mentally occupied with something and that that usually doesn't make you more pleasant to be around. That's fine, for a little while, but not days or weeks on end. Let me help so you can be ok and start being nice to me again.

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#31

When we're quiet, we're not in a mood with you.

Whatever absolutely vacuous nonsense is going through our minds at the time, if there's anything going on there at all, take comfort that it's really not about you.

We're probably just trying to solve perpetual motion with household objects, or wondering how long it'll take for the ocean to wear Hawaii away.

Let us have these times. It's like meditation for us.

Gibbonici Report

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KillerKiwi
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This goes for women too. Maybe I've just had a long day, I'm quiet because I'm trying to decompress, not because you've done something or there's something bothering me.

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#32

At 30 if you’re single still life is incredibly lonely.


My life has been reduced to working 10s, gym, eat and sleep on the weekdays. Sometimes I feel like a rat. It’s like an endless grind for money and corporate and working on my body to attract someone.

AmericanViolence Report

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Noyfb noyfb
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the goal is to “attract someone,” you can spend X hours working on your body or working on your behavior (which first requires understanding yourself better). Do only the first one, and you’re wasting your time.

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#33

Women want Us to share Our feelings with them, them they mock Us when We do!!!
Whappingtime: Or think that they know our emotions better than we do, or act like we are monsters for expressing them in a way they don't like that's not directed at them.

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Erla Zwingle
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like somebody got hurt or confused one time and now the entire female world deserves punishment. I'm pretty sure that most women don't "mock you" or "act like you're monsters" in most normal situations. But maybe for you most normal situations are already weirdly exaggerated and self-referential. Incel much?

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#34

Sex/physical intimacy is one of the biggest ways men emotionally connect with their spouse/SO and not just because we are "always horny." Being physically desired is a feeling a lot of men don't have, and it causes a lot of emotional issues. Try initiating, and he just might be emotionally available in the way you need.

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Helena
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If the only way you're connecting is that, as a woman, you feel used. It is an awful awful degrading, icky feeling that makes you want a million showers.

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#35

Quiet is cool, also he wants his romantic partner to be deeply interested in what he's doing if he tells them or not.
penmanship2: I will say with my relationships, the women who were interested in me and showed me their interest in me every day made our relationship so much better and stronger. I had a woman who, if home when I got off work, would walk out the house and meet me before I got to the door just to throw her hands around my neck, give me a big kiss, and ask how my day was. Because of that, I wanted to talk to her and tell her. The little things mean a lot.

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Kelly Scott
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ye-ah, my last boyfriend told me if I'd run to greet him and get to him before the dog did, he'd pat me on the head first. Told him to dump that mistress and we'd talk about it. LOL

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#36

Oftentimes, they self-sabotage a really good thing and end up settling for what they truly think they deserve.

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Libstak
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Who? Men or women? This seems to apply to humanity in general imo. It's not a gender issue at all.

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#37

Man gazing out the window, reflecting on struggles men wish women knew, wearing a patterned sweater. Men let women get away with WAY more than you let us get away with. You are not nicer, more polite, more empathetic, or more understanding than men, we just let you get away with things that you would not let us get away with.

Original-Antelope-66 , Ave Calvar Report

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David Morgan
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't know about that. The 'amount' of things that the genders 'get away with' is about equal I think, but a behaviour from one gender to the same is not necessarily treated the same as it is if it's to a different gender. So, for a basic example if I get into a shouting-level argument with a woman and she screams 'f**k you' in my face, I'm not going to punch her whereas I might well do that with a man. There are behaviours we EXPECT from one gender and not another, even if there's no real reason why - for example, women are perfectly capable of opening doors for themselves or for me. I like to help people by doing little things like that, but my s*****m won't suddenly shrivel if a lady assists me instead. Courtesy is courtesy.

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#38

That we like it when women check on us as much as we check on them. But they never do sadly.

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#39

Silhouetted couple facing each other, illustrating struggles men wish women knew. That we don’t operate the same way as they do in almost every aspect. In fact, we often operate in the opposite way. So applying the same logic/rules when analyzing men’s and women’s behavior doesn’t work.

For example:

Me not sharing my problems doesn’t mean I don’t trust you or that I’m not open. It means I first need to try to solve it myself and go through it, because for many men, emotional support doesn’t help much if the problem still exists (this has been reported by therapists, showing a significant difference in how men and women respond after therapy sessions).

Noveno , Alexander Grey Report

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Susie Elle
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But what if your partner can help with it? Why struggle alone when there are people who can help? Part of that misunderstanding, in my opinion, is that you think we don't notice you're struggling with something, but we do. There's a change in your behaviour when you're trying to solo grapple a problem, and we just want to help so you'll stop being stand-offish or grumpy because of it. (maybe I'm projecting, lmao)

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#40

Woman emotionally distraught, illustrating struggles men wish women knew, sitting on a couch wrapped in a blanket. That a lot of times, when you want us to listen and empathize instead of solve the problem, it comes off as just whining. Our instinct is to provide a solution to the problem so that the whining about it will stop.

hokiebird428 , Blake Cheek Report

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Susie Elle
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry, I call b******t here based purely on the fact that you call it 'whining' if you can't solve it. A simple 'oh that sucks' is sufficient in most cases, you're just making it more complicated than it needs to be with this hyperfocus on problemsolving. I don't mean to invalidate anyone's feelings here, but I just feel hiding behind 'it's just instict to us to problemsolve' is too easy.

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#41

That most nerdy guys aren't going to go feral trying to get with you because you talk about liking the same stuff we do or interact with us sincerely in a way that we might expect from other guys or the ones we hang with. Also like many nerdy women, lots of guys are really emotionally attached to certain IP's or nerdy media in general. So while some there are guys that are like that stereotype where they say everything new is woke or are never happy exist, the vast majority talking about newer stuff aren't like that. Or really like the old neckbeard stereotypes.

That us talking about struggles/problems that might be more unique to men isn't some attack on what women or LGBTQ+ peeps go through for that matter. Or any talk about our negative experiences with women or anything related to women that might offend them. Most of the time we just want things to be better between men and women, and it can't really be talked about and some women dig in their heels when it comes to personal accountability.


We don't need to be given the 101 of what women go through in every instance where it seems relevant. Especially with how every woman we know; (our mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, friends, etc have dealt with varying levels of it). We are a whole lot more understanding, respectful, open, etc than you might think. We aren't unsympathetic if we don't respond to something like it's our first time hearing about it every single time. We know that other people will cover that base, and want to be more direct with helping or something like that.

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Kelly Scott
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6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nobody's asking you to go feral over some nerdy woman. If you both like the same things, why not enjoy each other's company as friends, instead of always thinking you have to be trying to attract each other. Suspend the genders for a moment and just be two people talking about something interesting. It's not that hard.

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#42

We like being desired.

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keyboardtek
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6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And we do not like hearing daily criticism and correcting of what we supposedly did wrong.

#43

For me it boils down to I want to be wanted too; women put in effort, they look nice, we say so, sometimes more than once. We put in effort and I might get a “handsome” thrown my way but that’s basically the end of it. I’ll buy flowers, flirt, hold doors, open car doors all of which is telegraphing I respect you, and I’m attracted to you; Attention lavished basically on the female. Apart from physical intimacy (maybe) what’s the reciprocation? I find that challenging, but maybe it’s just me.

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Penguin Panda Pop
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6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is weird. It's kinda saying that he only opens doors for people who he thinks are attractive. If I'm going through a door and I sense someone is behind me, I will hold it open. I put zero thought into how attractive the person following me is. Also the word 'female' was used. Feels a little incel adjacent. Maybe it's just me.

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#44

Respecting some personal time or hangout with friends im not a prisoner dumba*s. And please dont make anything or everything a big deal sometimes it is what it is nothing more nothing less besides im just a simpleton.

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Libstak
Community Member
6 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dumbass? OK, we hear you...maybe respect the person you are with, or don't be with them. Putting them down is not caring.

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#45

That guys can’t message first on bumble.

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El Dee
Community Member
6 days ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This was the whole point of Bumble, to hand power to women and prevent being inundated with guys who are simply looking for ANYONE. But societal norms are DEEPLY ingrained..

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#46

How hard dating especially using dating apps is.

I only yesterday had a conversation with a female friend about it and she first agreed, but than said that its also hard for woman. She used Hinge in her vacation and didnot get matched with the 3 guys she liked. She only got 250 requests from other guys.

I am still mad at her for seriously trying to argue that she has it even remotely as hard as man.

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Susie Elle
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6 days ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's two different things: getting no likes and thus no connection, or getting 250 likes from dudes that most likely just want to bang. Neither is probably what you're looking for on a dating app in this example. Do you honestly believe 250 men are genuinely interested in her as a person? Or are they just throwing out bait and hoping one of them bites? Getting no likes must suck too, but the end result is the same: you both got zero likes.

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#47

That self improvement is real. It seems like a lot of women just exist and do what they want and then expect to be with men they like, being completely unaware that such men needed to become who they are, same way they should put effort into becoming women men like.

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#48

It’s really sad women are freaking out thinking they’re oppressed when they get everything handed to them. Men are just expected to give everything and get breadcrumbs as a thank you. It’s f**ked up, sorry.

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