Join the Fun!

#2

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) I was called in to assist my wife with putting together a friend's baby shower when her helper bailed at the last minute. My job was to prep the "dirty diaper game" which, if you've not heard of it, is played like this: an assortment of name brand candy bars and chocolates are unwrapped and then mushed into a diaper so as to resemble a baby's dirty diaper. The game participants then assess the contents of each "dirty" diaper and have a guess at what candy bar might be lurking within. Whoever has the most correct answers wins.

Because I was called in at the last minute, I had to complete the task while at work...

So there I was, in my office, fifteen or so diapers laying open on my desk, sleeves rolled up, hurriedly rolling what appeared to be a gooey, nutty turd in my hands...when my boss walks in.

We make eye contact.

He glances at my work, looks at me as though I am dangerously unstable, then slowly steps back out of the office without saying a word.

We've never spoken of it.

CaptainWisconsin , Denny Müller Report

Final score:

389points

POST

TKA 2 years ago

Omg I have never heard of this! (Thankfully)

120points

combustablegoeduck , Alexandra Gorn Report

#3

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) I picked up a pizza and was super excited to eat it. I put it in the passenger seat of my car and said something along the lines of, 'I'm gonna take you home and [mess] you up!' I then realized that my window was open, and so was the window of the car next to me. The driver had watched and heard me talk dirty to a pizza.

Final score:

371points

POST

(T)reacherou(S) 2 years ago

This is hillarious!

108points

helljack , S.C. Air National Guard Report

If you’re a fan of popular reality shows, I don’t need to tell you how secondhand embarrassment feels. This phenomenon is often followed by uncontrollable cringe, an immediate tense in the body as if you were ready to evacuate it, aka “get outta here.” Reading these stories may too give you this feeling, and if they did, the chances are you’re far from the only one.

So you may wonder what exactly happens to us and our brains when we feel embarrassed for someone else. Emma Azzopardi, a psychotherapist and developing clinical psych, argues that our experience of secondhand embarrassment tells us much more about ourselves than we’d think. Turns out, it is related to our ability to empathize with the embarrassment or shame that another might feel, she told Refinery29.

#4

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) When I bought my first pair of night vision goggles, I had them delivered to the TV station I worked at (not trusting my neighbors to leave my [stuff] alone).

So, I took a break and tried them out in the only truly dark room I could find. The mens room.

A coworker came in, flicked on the lights, and was startled to find me in the middle of the room, blinded by the sudden flash of normal light, brushing my teeth in the pitch dark with night vision goggles.

I had to go talk to HR about it. He was freaked out.

Final score:

363points

POST

(T)reacherou(S) 2 years ago

Omg! 😆

71points

#5

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) I was in standstill traffic (ie car had been turned off, people where loitering outside of their cars) and I had a baby squirrel that I was hand rearing in my car. I fed it some puppy milk formula from a bottle, looked up and realised I had an audience of about twenty people gawking at me

rafraska , NAUSHIL ANSARI Report

Final score:

329points

POST

Monday 2 years ago

And all of them wanted a good look at the baby squirrel I bet...I certainly would have.

144points

#6

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) Me, newlywed to my then-husband. Had to leave our apartment and move in with his somewhat disabled mother. Two weeks in, he and I are having sexy times in our bedroom. Specifically, hes going downtown and eating at the Y. MIL knocks and immediately opens the door, saying "dinners on the table!". Awkward pause. Everyone freezes. His face is buried in my crotch. She stands shock still, then huffs, and says "Well, I see you've already eaten," slams the door and goes away.

We giggle, recoup, and go to eat. Most awkward meal of my life.

Fang_Jolima , Jonathan Petersson Report

Final score:

321points

POST

(T)reacherou(S) 2 years ago

She should've knocked and waited, it's important with privacy!

185points

"As social animals, empathy is a key trait that evolved to help us to be part of a community and to live harmoniously within it. We recognize embarrassing situations for others through neural pathways activated in the anterior cingulate cortex and the left anterior insula regions of the brain. These are regions implicated in the experiencing of 'social pain' related to the situations that others, rather than us, find themselves in. It is these same cortical structures that are involved in the mental responses we would have if we witness the physical pain of another person."

#7

When I was like 14, we got Jehovah’s Witnesses at our front door and my mother walked downstairs just in time to hear me say, “this is a strictly Satanist household and we shoot missionaries on sight.”

My parents are Jewish.

[deleted] Report

Final score:

310points

POST

Jose Ortiz 2 years ago

Im an ex JW. I got in trouble a few times for "air knocking" so no one opened the door when it was my turn to preach their b.s propaganda. No regrets either!

24points

BlueBerryJaffas , Geoffrey Moffett Report

#8

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) My friend and I went to the movies and thought the place was empty, so we started running around and flailing our arms. Turns out, there was a man sitting in the far back corner the whole time just watching us.

Final score:

274points

POST

Summer Mason 2 years ago

*snort laugh*

80points

fashionablypunctual , MART PRODUCTION Report

#9

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) When I was 14, I wanted to try to drink like a dog. I put a bowl on the floor and filled it with Fanta. My dad walked into my room where I was kneeling on the floor with my tongue in the bowl. He has never mentioned it since.

Final score:

267points

POST

Andy Acceber 2 years ago

Parents of teenagers may see a lot of odd things. Frequently, it's easier just not to question it.

144points

#10

Driving my car through traffic. Have little trial sized hand lotion in my center console and my hands are dry-ish so I dispense the recommended amount and start rubbing it in. Traffic moves and I have to steer, accidentally get some lotion on my steering wheel. Which is leather. Now the part I touched is shiny and the rest isn't. Don't like the way that looks so I dispense more lotion and start working it into the leather. Now, this makes the rest of the leather bits look dull and pretty soon I am all in with this, lotioning whatever I can reach. Casually glance to my left left and there is a car full of people staring directly at me, eyes wide, as i thoroughly massage the interior of my vehicle like some sort of Buffalo Bill esqe auto enthusiast.

7sundays7times Report

Final score:

256points

POST

Harrison Miller 2 years ago

i just really like my car

60points

#11

Late to the party but here goes.

When I was ten or eleven I snuck a certain magazine I was fairly interested in into the bathroom. I spent way too long in there with it. On my way out I heard a lot of noise outside the bathroom. So I decided to hide the mag under my shirt in front of my chest. Exiting the bathroom I had to pass by the living room in which my father and all his siblings were siting in. Three aunt’s and an uncle. He shouted for me as I passed by, “Hey get back here! What’s under your shirt?”

I walked back slowly, head held low. He reached into my shirt in front of everyone and grabbed the magazine. The look of confusion on his and everyone else’s faces when he produced the Nintendo Power was priceless.

iTzFazy Report

Final score:

233points

POST

TKA 2 years ago

That’s not what I was expecting 😂

129points

#12

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) I can’t remember why, but I was in the shower and started loudly reciting the trailer for Gremlins 2. I stepped out of the bathroom and my mom was there pissing herself with laughter.

Mr-Dumb- , kevin Baquerizo Report

Final score:

225points

POST

(T)reacherou(S) 2 years ago

😂

44points

#13

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) I once ran up the stairs on all fours. I hadn't realized that my best friend had already come over.

brandthacker12 , Alex Shu Report

Final score:

224points

POST

Summer Mason 2 years ago

This stair case annoys me

114points

#14

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) Walking across the road to the dumpster with a bag of trash. One arm pulled into my hoodie. Flapping it like a wing, and slowly moving forward while going in circles. Saying to myself "Flying in circles, flying in circles." Realizing that I was not circling in the right direction for the 'wing' I had and reversing to circle oppositewise. Saying "Flying in circles the wrong way."

Come back inside and find that my whole family had been watching me.

Splendidissimus , Kaique Rocha Report

Final score:

217points

POST

BasedWang12 2 years ago

these types of things.... now these Ive done

62points

#15

I was at an old tourist junk store that was 3 stories named the Gay Dolphin- I’m like 17 and I let out the biggest fart and asked my sister- “did you hear that lol”

Like 30 mins later we are on the 3rd floor basement looking at sharks teeth and this old man walks by and goes, “I heard that” and just keeps walking.

readandweepand Report

Final score:

216points

POST

Beth S 2 years ago

LOL! This is hilarious. I would totally be that random person.

83points

#16

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) I once had a coworker who worked at a customer site and had a crush on one of the women who worked there, too. One day, the woman came back from lunch and saw him pick up the cushion from her chair and sniff it. He was asked to leave.

mordeci00 , Raj Rana Report

Final score:

206points

POST

(T)reacherou(S) 2 years ago

Creep!

129points

#17

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) As a toddler, my dog bit my diaper so, in retaliation, I bit my dog in the butt, and my mother caught me.

JadedJackal671 , cinnamonster Report

Final score:

198points

POST

Beth S 2 years ago

This could have ended badly, glad that it did not.

82points

#18

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) I was like 13 or 14 in my room alone, my window wide opened, when I started to wonder if I ever got kissed what the other person would be seeing from their perspective, so I went up to my closet, which had those floor length mirrors and I started kissing the mirror, opening my eyes every once in a while to see if I looked at all attractive doing this, one of those times I opened my eyes I saw my brother outside my wide open window through the mirror looking at me with such a confused look on his face, I screamed and fell to the floor and hid in my room for a while.

slave4u807 , Max Vakhtbovych Report

Final score:

193points

POST

DuchessDegu 2 years ago

😆😆😆😆😆

53points

BleachDrinkAndBook Report

#19

In Skyrim, I went and collected thousands of cabbages and filled my house completely, and was running around laughing.

Hard to explain to someone who walks in, and sees you looking at a screen full of cabbages laughing your ass off.

Final score:

190points

POST

Yvette Desmarais 2 years ago

I love this

56points

#20

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) It was 3am and 15 year old me was taking a [poop] and got a blood nose. Now for context, I get real bad nose bleeds and usually just keep my head up and it goes away. Well I was bored. So I thought, “what if I just keep my head down and let it drip?” I know... very stupid. Blood was all over the floor. I had every intent to just clean it up with tissues and flush it, no evidence of my little experiment. What I didnt know was that my mum was actually awake and was waiting for me to finish in the toilet for her turn. I didnt lock the door because it was 3am and I didnt think I needed to. Well... she opens the door... “SemenDemon16 why are you taking so l-“ She sees the blood, starts freaking tf out. Thinks I’m either dead or dying. I start yelling trying to explain myself. Mum starts crying thinking shes gonna lose her son. My sister walks out her room from the crying and the yelling. Sees the blood. Freaks tf out as well. After a bit of panic I eventually explained my stupid experiment. I cleaned it up and we all went to bed. But I dont think anybody slept after that traumatic experience.

SemenDemon16 , Pixabay Report

Final score:

174points

POST

Evil Little Thing 2 years ago

User name checks out

71points

#21

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) A UPS delivery guy once caught my grandma biting her toenails. She was in the sunroom with the screen door open, and the guy walked up to the door and witnessed that.

spiderlanewales , Aaron Doucett Report

Final score:

166points

POST

Beth S 2 years ago

Wow, that is one flexible grandma... Yoga? lol

122points

#22

I was doing inventory in my freezer and the freezer in inside the store's cooler. Obviously, it was freezing, and my boobs got the worst of it that day. I walked out of the freezer cupping my boobs with my hands and doing some lamaze type breathing, and saying, "cold titties, ooh, ohh, ha." Did not realize the Pepsi vendor was there. Made awkward eye contact and I scurried out and did not return until he was gone. Thankfully, he never brought it up.

abbyabsinthe Report

Final score:

163points

POST

Jerry Mathers 2 years ago

He could have been like, "Hey this Pepsi is a little warm, could you help me out"

11points

#23

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) One time my girlfriend and I had just left the house. She then remembered she needed something and went back in. Now, our house (Golders Green, London), was semi-detached with the neighbours house.

The neighbours motorbike was kind of in our shared front yard. Since I was waiting for my girlfriend, I decided to sit on the motorbike.

I heard the front door of the house close behind me, so, trying to be funny for my girlfriend, I leaned over the tank of the motorbike and started pretending to rev the throttle and making Vrrooom, Vroom motorbike noises. Like, really getting into it. I didn't hear any laughing, so I turned around and it was actually my neighbour standing there with this wtf look on his face.

nutbanger2000 , Rachel Claire Report

Final score:

160points

POST

BasedWang12 2 years ago

....and then we moved

75points

#24

Having an argument with my houseplants about their watering schedules. They had their own voices too.

oikorapunk Report

Final score:

151points

POST

dee dee 2 years ago

I do this too! I also give motivational speeches to the ones that are not doing well, praise the ones that look good... my neighbours must think me insane

37points

#25

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) I was once a server, and we have ranch dressing in bags, which were so satisfying to squish. I started doing it the way cats do it with their paws against something. I looked to my left and saw my manager staring at me.

ssr2396 , Volkan Vardar Report

Final score:

150points

POST

Huddo's sister 2 years ago

I used to love the feel of the sachets of fabric softener and would go down the supermarket aisle going "squishiable, squishiable, squishiable.

38points

#26

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) Oh man. So I must have been about 12. I was in the car with my mom - to set the scene it was a three row soccer mom van and I was in the second row behind the passenger seat with my mom driving. Well since I was 12 I got my random hormone boner, strange and awkward enough right? Well I decide that I would pretend I was driving and that my boner was the stick shift... mom caught me.

Uncanny_badluck , Isaac Martin Report

Final score:

143points

POST

Harrison Miller 2 years ago

ITS NOT WHAT YOU THINK IT IS MOM ITS JUST MY STICK SHIFT

71points

Threeormorepeople , Feliphe Schiarolli Report

#27

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) One time, I was popping my friend’s back by picking him up from behind and bouncing him repeatedly. A teacher walked in the room and we both froze.

Final score:

136points

POST

Nadine G 2 years ago

Oh this one is common, least I know I've caught and been caught doing this more than once lol always weird but feels amazing

57points

#28

As a pet sitter, sometimes you get lonely when the majority of your interactions are with animals. Sooo, to combat this I sometimes pretend to be the inner voice of whatever dog I'm walking, responding out loud to whatever they're sniffing or whatever grabs their attention. Each dog has his/her own weird voice as well. More than once people have walked around a corner to hear me doing this.

babbitygook14 Report

Final score:

132points

POST

Pink Dahlia 2 years ago

I do this with my cat. I talk TO him and FOR him. lol

48points

#29

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) My father once saw me put my foot up on a chair and smack my own [butt]. My leg had fallen asleep.

xXxMassive-RtrdxXx , Rumman Amin Report

Final score:

127points

POST

(T)reacherou(S) 2 years ago

😆

32points

mikehawk0129 , Mathias P.R. Reding Report

#30

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) I was 14 getting it on with my hand and surround sound headphones...my dad walks in on me half asleep and mumbles, “what are you doin boy?” And shuts the door, but then COMES BACK IN TO VERIFY WHAT HE’S WITNESSED and has the audacity to say “you playin’ with yer meat?”

Final score:

122points

POST

Harrison Miller 2 years ago

this is too good to be true

41points

#31

In basic training, we got back to our bunks late, were all exhausted and my body felt broken. Instead of taking a shower I decided to clean my self with babywipes. Usually nobody is paying attention to you because they all have their own things to do, but someone watched me wipe my groin area, under my pants and then proceed to stuff it in a drawer in my bed because I was to tired to get up and throw it away. The person watching me said "WTF are you saving that for later or something?"

BeffJridges Report

Final score:

118points

POST

Harrison Miller 2 years ago

yes

33points

#32

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) In third grade, I went to the bathroom and, thinking I was alone, put my hands against the wall, leaned forward, and let out a long gigantic fart. I turned around and saw that some other kids had come in as I had released that massive fart.

TomberryServo , Oliver Hale Report

Final score:

116points

POST

Beth S 2 years ago

I am sure they were impressed lol

50points

#33

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) I was a kid and creeped out by cousin's creepy doll, one morning me and the doll were alone in her room and I grabbed the doll and started to shake it and while I was yelling at it that I knew it could talk, my cousin walked in and was like what are you doing?? And I brought the doll close to me and caressed it and said I was just kidding. She kept the doll away from me after that

slave4u807 , Walter Saravia Report

Final score:

113points

POST

LuckyL 2 years ago

mission accomplished!

59points

#34

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) Arguing with myself (well, not myself - the actual person just wasn't there, so I was standing in) in the mirror. With animated facial expressions and gestures. Lips moving, but with no sound. I now reserve these hypothetical arguments for the shower. When I am home alone.

[deleted] , Taylor Smith Report

Final score:

109points

POST

Summer Mason 2 years ago

Do this all the time.

29points

#35

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) One of my old roommates walked in on me singing naked into a hairbrush once.

gujayeon , Anna Tis Report

Final score:

105points

POST

Kay blue 2 years ago

We've all done it!

43points

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#36

Found a stray cat hanging out in my apartment complex. Decided it would be a great idea to sit on the ground next to him and meow to him. He meowed back each time, so he and I just sat on the sidewalk together having a "conversation" for quite some time. Eventually I even picked him up and carried him around with me on my way to the complex laundry room. Passed by several people who either gave me a "this dude is definitely high" look or just kinda giggle at me. Nothing embarassing about this situation really, I just know me in my PJ's talking to a very dirty, dusty stray cat may have looked... weird.

I think he and I had a great conversation, though.

cocoakobra Report

Final score:

51points

POST

TKA 2 years ago

This is adorable!

22points

#37

I was leaving a voicemail for a client to call me back and my voice went from normal to Scottish to southern all in a span of 30-40 seconds. (was not intential I was just tired.)

I thought I was alone at the time as I was in the back room. When all of a sudden I hear guy wrenching laughter from the support department.

Not as bad as others but pretty strange

dietxrooty Report

Final score:

47points

POST

Micah 2 years ago

Reminds me of 30 Rock when Liz Lemon tries to do a Caribbean accent but then goes Irish.

9points

#38

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) I once jokingly made an Instagram story of me pretending to shoot oranges out of my bum. My girl walked in on me in the bedroom with my drawers on throwing oranges so it looked like a POV of them popping out my butt.

GoW20000 , Gunther Hagleitner Report

Final score:

41points

POST

Kalmar (she/her) 2 years ago

Priorities

10points

#39

My dad walked in on my and my brother vacuuming our d**ks into the tube attachment. He just shook his head and walked out of the room

McPussCrocket Report

Final score:

40points

POST

TuesdayDangerGirl 2 years ago

Used to work for medical insurance. You would be surprised not only how common this is but just how often it goes wrong and necessitates a trip to the ER

26points

#40

I once dropped a full litter of milk on the kitchen island and it made me give up and just lay down below the milk waterfall that was created and just drink it. This happen at 3 am and mother witnessed it as she was also awake and thirsty.

xbox_pleb Report

Final score:

39points

POST

MiniMaus 2 years ago

Is a litter of milk = to a litter of kittens?

24points

#41

When I was going through puberty I started getting a lot of hair on my ass, which I hated. So I started shaving my ass. Once my older brother decided to try and throw a cup of cold water on me in the shower. He rips open thr curtain to me slightly bent over with shaving cream on my ass and a razor in my hand. He stops for a second, throws the cup anyway then proceeds to laugh uncontrollably and tell everyone in the house what he caught me doing.

Darkjak909 Report

Final score:

39points

POST

Agnes Jekyll 2 years ago

That was really mean of your brother.

33points

#42

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) I was playing VR Chat with a skeleton skin on and I kept doing stupid dances that may or may not have involved a jerkoff motion. I heard my wife's voice from outside the headset go "what the [hell]?!?"

Teglement , Arthur Edelmans Report

Final score:

37points

POST

Supa79 (He/him) 2 years ago

That’s hilarious

10points

#43

I was trying to get my neck to crack because it was tight. I was turning it quick to the side and saying "crack, crack damnit" as I was doing it for probably ten seconds or so.

To a bystander I was just making awkward head movements and professing my love for crack.

Slick_Grimes Report

Final score:

37points

POST

Gabby M 2 years ago (edited)

Eh just a stranger!! no worries lol It's when friends & family catch you that's embarrassing

7points

#44

I was running down the hall at school when my trousers fell down revealing that I was also wearing Jeans underneath. The other kids in the hall almost started to laugh until they saw the Jeans and thier faces turned to pure confusion.

[deleted] Report

Final score:

37points

POST

BasedWang12 2 years ago

well played

13points

#45

In high school english class, we went to the computer lab to do a poetry project. Can't remember the specifics but I remember we had to find a bunch of different poems that we liked. I had a flashback to my sister reading me a poem about a guy who accidentally has sex with a chimpanzee, so I fired up a Google search for "Poems about making love to chimpanzees". My english teacher's teacher senses must have been tingling, because he appeared right behind me, and very loudly asked why I was looking for poems about making love to chimpanzees.

TypicalCricket Report

Final score:

37points

POST

BAWK BAWK BAKAW 2 years ago

wait now i need to know more

17points

#46

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) When I was around 10 years old I was getting curious about sex so I decided to look it up in the dictionary. Wouldn’t you know it my ultra conservative mother walks in the room so I try to play it off like I was looking up the Heida Native American tribe. She called me out for being in the S’s but I doubled down and pretended i was possibly dyslexic. What a tangled web I wove.

HotGarbageJuice , Snapwire Report

Final score:

36points

POST

Summer Mason 2 years ago

That's actually sad. We have an open age appropriate door in my house. I will explain anything to my kids. No one should grow up like this kid.

53points

#47

I have a really weird habit of needing to jump up and down while blasting music in my ears. It's the only way I enjoy listening to music. I have no idea why. Obviously, I only do this in private, but because I am blasting music, I've been walked in on a couple of times, sometimes wearing only underwear whilst I jump up and down like an idiot.

thatbro92 Report

Final score:

36points

POST

Thomas Sweda 2 years ago

Maybe mom and/or dad should have started your education.

-3points

#48

In college, in lab, was coding to get double linked list to work.. when my program worked, I hugged the monitor and kissed it .. it’s crt monitor, so yeah am old :) Right at that moment janitor guy walks in and sees it all and has this puzzled look

madamx797 Report

Final score:

35points

POST

Phyzzi 2 years ago

Every computer ever: "why do screens get all the credit, all the hard work happen in here" (also twss).

0points

#49

"What's The Strangest Thing You've Ever Been Caught Doing?" (35 Answers) Was at the driveway at Wendy's and had exact change as I was switching the money one hand to another the quarter slipped in between my legs and I went to grab it but it slipped down further and the guy comes to the window as I have one hand full with cash and the other hand in between my legs trying to grab the quarter. He looked and me and said "I'm not even going to ask" and I just said "the quarter fell between my legs I have exact change" I got it and handed it to him pulled up to the next window to get my food and it set it what he thought he saw me doing. So embarrassing.

crazycatlady2118 , Mike Mozart Report

Final score:

33points

POST

wowbagger 2 years ago

"Here's the quarter." "No thanks."

23points

#50

Giving the middle finger to an inanimate object

cain62 Report

Final score:

33points

POST

LH25 2 years ago

Do that all the time. Esp. to my computer when it doesn't do what I want it to.

21points

#51

Sort of absent-mindedly blowing on a kettle to cool it down before pouring the water over the coffee. My wife thought that was pretty funny...

normalguy_AMA Report

Final score:

31points

POST

Hobby Hopper 2 years ago

Well you don't want to burn the coffee.

10points

#52

eating cake icing in my closet at 1 am, not from a cake or anything, straight from the container. with a spoon.

CasperTheCaper Report

Final score:

31points

POST

*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

One question? Why?

9points

skullofthegreatjon Report

#53

I stopped at a store to buy a baby-shower gift and coffee supplies. Without thinking, I bought just three items: (1) a bag of sugar, (2) a bag of coffee beans, and (3) a breast pump.

Final score:

29points

POST

Luther von Wolfen 2 years ago

At a 7-Eleven, about 2am, several years ago, I was buying a pack of cigarettes, a pack of condoms and a candy bar. I didn't have enough money and had to get my lady friend to give me a dollar.

15points

#54

One time my (then) girlfriend's mom caught me pissing in her kitchen sink when I was bombed out on Ambien. I had no recollection of it the next morning.

filthy_lucre Report

Final score:

27points

POST

Hazel Sage 2 years ago

Oh yeah, Ambien can be really obnoxious! It’s not uncommon for me to wake up in the morning and wonder, “What the heck is wrong with my stomach?” And then I walk out to the living room, and find evidence that I’d eaten something really weird. The weirdest so far was the morning I woke up to a bowl half-filled with tuna (liberally salted and peppered), goldfish crackers, Raisin Bran, and milk. I didn’t eat much that day. 🙄

14points

#55

I once was walking to a store while smoking a cigarette. It was only about half gone, but not wanting to litter I scraped it across the ground and tossed it in a half empty trash can. As it goes in I catch a glimpse of it still smoking and go to check it so I'm not responsible for a potential fire.

People walked by right after I waited for a moment and smelled directly in the trash can for any signs of burning. Yes, I did quit smoking after.

SpurnDonor Report

Final score:

27points

POST

*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

Good that you quit smoking though!

15points

#56

Arguing with myself naked infront of the mirror about politics

BlackBunny2424 Report

Final score:

27points

POST

*Displayname*=idk 2 years ago

I can relate, but not naked, or about politics...

8points

#57

Contrary to most porno seens, getting caught masterbating by your sister- in-law is not ideal.

panda_poon Report

Final score:

26points

POST

BasedWang12 2 years ago

that 5 knuckle shuffle strikes again

8points

#58

After I graduated highschool my parents took me to a fancy Brazilian barbecue place. You had these little wooden dowels that were green on one side and red on the other. Now they would come bearing very well cooked meat. Obviously I ate way too much.

So much in fact I woke up sweating at almost three in the morning. Now having too much meat in your stomach is like having a heavy solid weight stuck in your stomach. Now my sleep addled brain decided the best idea to get rid of this heavy meat ball in my stomach was to move. And that is the story of how my mother found me dancing very seriously at 3 in the morning.

RedMerida97 Report

Final score:

26points

POST

BasedWang12 2 years ago

MEAT SWEATS

10points

beanbag_thundercats Report

#59

Sitting on the floor of my kitchen with the lights turned off while making Mac and cheese.

It doesn’t help that the roommate who caught me is the one who would always find me sitting on the floor eating animal crackers or cereal out of the box.

Final score:

25points

POST

GlipGlop 2 years ago

Sounds like this isn't much of a strange occurrence then, if it's a recurring situation...

6points

LittleGravitasIndeed Report

#60

Rewiring a microwave to go past its automatic shutoff temperatures to make neat rocks and glass out of rocks I found in the backyard.

It wasn’t my family’s microwave, and my friend wasn’t home at the time. His father just stared at me, as I and his kitchen were covered in clay and pumice dust. And in his microwave. His only microwave.

My friend was due back from the hardware store in five minutes. Those were some very uncomfortable minutes.

Final score:

25points

POST

Joyce C 2 years ago

Doesn't sound very safe.

16points

#61

Having a full blown debate with my dog

StationaryApe Report

Final score:

25points

POST

LH25 2 years ago

Did you win, or did the dog?

20points

#62

When i was like 13 i had my two friends (female) showing me (male) on my stomach what a "happy trail" was. Their dad walked into the room with me having me shirt pulled up and the two girls touching my trail. Was really awkward cause up to that point I'm pretty sure he thought I was gay.

swearbear91 Report

Final score:

25points

POST

Mrs S 2 years ago

Treasure trail

4points

bluepenguinfromspace Report

#63

Caught in the garden singing "Where'd You Go" by Fort Minor looking sorrowful by my sister after a bird didn't return to her eggs in the nest she'd made in our shed.

Final score:

25points

POST

BasedWang12 2 years ago

One of the bottom tier songs on that album, but Mike Shinoda is legend

7points

#64

When we were in our twenties, a good song came on the radio and I was trying to make my brother dance to it. I put my hands on his shoulders and was moving him back and forth. My parents saw this and had a strange look on their faces. I asked what was wrong and they said 'we thought you were choking him'. Guess I should learn better dance moves.

pineapple_tg Report

Final score:

25points

POST

Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 2 years ago

LOL

2points

#65

I was licking the bottle of empty gatorade saying "damn I wish I left some for today"

SlavicMapper Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Harrison Miller 2 years ago

understandable

9points

#66

My friends and I did some questionably gay pranks back in the day as pubescent boys. Moon infront of the tv screen, stuff like that.

One day I snuck into my friends room (he had glass doors to the front yard) and got ready. I got naked and put on a sombrero, and equipped my pecker in the wide end of a vuvuzela. Laid in his bed in wait...

Few minutes later his mom walks in during a family function. I was mortified, she either didn’t notice or just ignored it and walked out. Was I caught? Too afraid to ask.

gedai Report

Final score:

24points

POST

BasedWang12 2 years ago

lmao the horror

7points

#67

I was the pet of the day

I mean by my Best friend made me naked and put a dog collar and went a walk with me in his house and i was the pet of a day.

And his parents caught us and said "WTF" I couldn't speak until i got home.

ThePotatoBiscuits Report

Final score:

24points

POST

Beth S 2 years ago

Kink shamers.... LOL jk

13points

hey_there_kitty_cat Report

#68

I forget which one it was, I believe it was Foster Dad John, he'd foster litters of kittens and had a live stream going. So obviously being kittens, 18+ hours a day it was just a steady video of them sleeping, but it was entertaining as hell when they actually were active.

I'd be in my basement typical college room programming, and have this live stream of kitties on my other monitor and my roommates would come in to ask me about dinner or heading to later classes or something like that, I'm there with code pulled up on one side, text books all over, and then a random live feed of some dude's living room on the other side. A decade later every time I talk to them they don't let me live it down. It was soothing, doing math and programming homework I needed some random kitties to keep me company but couldn't adopt one of my own so I'd bring that up.

Final score:

24points

POST

Sheepdude 2 years ago

kitties :)

9points

naynaythewonderhorse Report

#69

I had a coworker who looked a lot like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo. I mentioned it to him once, and he said he gets that a lot.

I got to talking to him about Beef Jerky, and how I had recently tried it for the first time. I explained that I wanted to try it because it’s probably the closest human equivalent to dog treats.

“Of course I never will, but I’ve always been curious about eating dog treats...”

...and just as I finish that sentence, the general manager walks by and catches the end of what I had just said. I preceded to laugh and walk away because I love when people walk-in on conversations at the most confusing possible moment.

Final score:

23points

POST

BasedWang12 2 years ago

some dog treats arent half bad

11points

#70

Slapping my belly and listening to sound it made. At least they found it funny

Pituliya Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Doug the cat 2 years ago

your weird if you havnt done this

9points

#71

Holding up the pee inside my foreskin to "charge up" the stream, and then release just at breaking point. I was 10, didn't lock the door. My brother happened to walk by. Been doing it ever since, gets you going more powerfully

Erikjb12 Report

Final score:

22points

POST

Supa79 (He/him) 2 years ago (edited)

HAHAHAHAHAHA WHY DO BOYS ALWAYS DO THE WEIRDEST STUFF WITH THEIR PEN1SES? I think I’ve done the same thing before….

13points

#72

Trying to pry ribs off a roadkill deer carcass.

For context, I'm a bone collector. Most of my collection comes from oddity shops, but sometimes you just find a really good opportunity on the side of a highway. I never did get those ribs, though. I was so embarrassed I immediately drove off.

BlackSheepHere Report

Final score:

21points

POST

not_at_school ;) 2 years ago

thats sorta weird, but to each his own!

11points

AntifaInformationist Report

#73

I was working nights at this liquor store. I step outside and hit my pipe and get high AF... then I go back in and I get to stocking shelves.

Well, high ass me, for a reason I still do not understand, got Jewel's "You were meant for me" stuck in my head. I have no idea why... this was in like 2004 long after Jewel's career had peeked and faded...

Anyway, I'm all stoned and singing Jewel... loudly... while stocking the cooler when I decide to have fun with it and sing it almost as though it was a Youtube apology video.

So now I'm cry-singing Jewel's "You were meant for me" at the top of my lungs, when a customer pops their head around the corner and says, "Um... are you open... and are... are you OK?"

Apparently our door beeper had gone on the fritz...

I tried to explain I was just stoned and effing around... but they were having none of it and continued to look at me as though I'd lost my damn mind, not just for the remainder of that transaction, but since they were a regular for years after.

Final score:

20points

POST

Bexx 🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦 2 years ago

Maybe it’s because you admitted to being stoned on the job? 😅

2points

#74

Rummaging through my (then-boyfriend) ex's laundry basket looking for his ID card and getting caught by his roommate. Iirc, I was caught holding his pants with a "I-can-explain" expression.

I had a spare hour between classes and he didn't have his ID card, meaning he'd have to walk home after work instead of riding the bus. So I rode the bus to his house, got his ID, then got back in time for class.

It's funny that I can laugh about this and feel nothing for him now. I'm healing and I'm happy.

auraysu Report

Final score:

19points

POST

BasedWang12 2 years ago

why wouldnt you be able to laugh about this? Why would this even be weird after just telling the roommate you were getting the ID

11points

#75

Sniffing ear wax.

YakkyDoodlePoodle Report

Final score:

18points

POST

BAWK BAWK BAKAW 2 years ago

but like... w h y

14points

#76

I hopped out the shower one day and was inexplicably overcome with the desire to see if I could balance upside down on my head. I use to do it all the time growing up. Guess I wanted to know if I still had it.

The thing is, this desire had to be sated immediately. Even before I threw on some clothes. So I drop my towel, flip on top of my head and start balancing like the good old days. Even held my arms out by my side to try it hands free.

Out of no where my mother and ex gf burst into my room (without knocking with their rude asses) and get a face full of me upside down, naked in what can only be described as a reverse T stance. They screamed, I laughed and I think I clipped through the ground a bit due to s**t collision

suisauce Report

Final score:

18points

POST

BAWK BAWK BAKAW 2 years ago

i mean thats impressive

8points

#77

Microwaving my cereal before eating it

AdditionalCreme Report

Final score:

16points

POST

Kay 2 years ago

how.dare.you

15points

#78

When I was about 8 or so, me (M) and my neighbor (M) decided to do some pole dancing at the stop sign at the end of our street, complete with hollering at the cars driving by. Some laughed. A few honked....one [jerk] stopped and chased us away yelling at us. Then, when he saw which houses we ran into he came and talked to our parents about what he had seen....

vitium Report

Final score:

16points

POST

BasedWang12 2 years ago

my fam woulda told him to go F himself. Kids bein kids

13points

#79

I built a joint before work the other day and forgot to wash my hands afterwards, so when i was on the bus i sniffed my fingers to check if they stunk of weed and halfway theough giving them a good sniff i noticed a couple of people looking at me.

Kl0pp0s Report

Final score:

15points

POST

Giga Bit 2 years ago

*Deep inhale*

4points

#80

During summer camp, I was caught in the girls lavatory.

There were only 2 toilets in each facility, and two camp counselors endlessly monopolized the men's (I waited at least 20 minutes, and they were still in there).

Since I was desperate to go, I used the girl's because there was no one around - that is, until I came out, and got caught.

Back2Bach Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Heather Menard 2 years ago

They were having sex in there

7points

#81

Playing Guitar Hero naked.

yugung Report

Final score:

13points

POST

Suzi Gauthier 2 years ago

Was it the Chili Peppers?

5points

ContextIsForTheWeak Report

#82

My friend and I fighting over my trousers.

Final score:

12points

POST

Hazel Sage 2 years ago

You can’t just leave us hanging! What was going on???

10points

#83

I wash my booty hole every day and I dry it with the pair of underwear from the previous day after I get out of the shower. That way none of my towels are [butt]-towels where someone's face might go someday. Call me weird. One time my ex walked in on me in the middle of standing Captain Morgan'd on the side of the tub, wiping my [butt] with my underwear and immediately accused me of "cleaning" my [butt] with my underwear. Took a month to convince her that wasn't the case and get her to stop making fun of me for it.

Ithxero Report

Final score:

11points

POST

Shane S 2 years ago

Gross. If you wash well enough then it won’t matter if you use the same towel but if this is a quirk if yours, get dedicated butt towels. You just showered. Don’t rub dirty underwear anywhere on your freshly cleaned body.

21points

#84

Early morning, was speaking gibberish nonsense. My dad witnessed it all.

[deleted] Report

Final score:

11points

POST

BasedWang12 2 years ago

always

2points

#85

Literally sucking my own toes

TheScrubBawla Report

Final score:

11points

POST

BAWK BAWK BAKAW 2 years ago

wow you're flexible

5points

#86

Doing a joker impression in the mirror

Omg_itz_Chaseee Report

Final score:

10points

POST

Christina T 2 years ago

My oldest son does impressions in the mirror ALL the time. He also likes to pace and have conversations with himself. It started when he was six and he is sixteen now, and still does this. He calls them his imagination talks. It bothers my husband, but not me. He explained to me that he puts himself in a movie or show he just watched, but not as any of the characters. He creates his own character, and then proceeds to come up with his own lines. I swear, between the impressions he does (and they've gotten REALLY good) he'll either be a screen writer or an actor who is really good at improv.

9points