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We’ve often heard people say that men don’t understand women and the other way around. But sometimes, it can be difficult to relate to people of the same gender as well.

For instance, a Reddit thread explored the topic: things gay men don't understand about straight men. It all started when a user sparked a lively discussion by asking, "Gay men of Reddit, what’s something about straight men that doesn't make sense to you?" And the responses were both intriguing and eye-opening. Below, we’ve compiled some really impressive answers for you, Pandas.

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#1

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” I really don't understand the, "I hate my wife trope."

thedean246:

I’ve worked with some older generations and most of them treat it the same way. They’ll sit there and complain about their wife and being married. I’m recently married and I’ve had several older dudes try to joke with me about it. Like… no. I actually love and enjoy my wife.

SpartanJT6 , ivanmorenosl Report

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PeepPeep the duck
PeepPeep the duck
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I never understood it either as a straight female, like we get proposed too (generally speaking) - they made their choice 😂

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#2

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” How certain things make you "gay" or less manly.

Quazakee:

One of my goals in life is to dress well enough that people think I'm gay.

Dire-Dog , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

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PeepPeep the duck
PeepPeep the duck
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This! 😂 when my mum left my dad (for her soulmate / I have two mums) my dad went through this weird phase, and it’s not funny but to 8yr old me it was hilarious - he got over mum ‘turning’ gay by banning ANYTHING gay from the household while he blasted Elton John cds 💿 24/7. That confused me on Elton John for bit 😂

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#3

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” Their contempt for women. They mansplain to them, they troll their socials, criticize their looks, downplay or even oppose their views despite their validity, and they feel like you are owed sex just because she is nice or dresses sexy. And to always associate girly stuff with weakness.

Toxic masculinity is just so exhausting. Men live shorter lives not because women stress them out, it's because of toxic masculinity.

YazzGawd , Hannah Nelson Report

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CanadianDimes
CanadianDimes
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And they’re sure to mansplain why mansplaining isn’t real and go on about “red pill for women” when women point out misogyny

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As humans, we ought to make an effort to comprehend other perspectives since it enhances our social and personal interactions. When we accept and value different points of view, it fosters our own development and also helps us build more inclusive communities.

These posts reflect how straight men and gay men have their own unique views due to their distinct life experiences and societal expectations. In order to learn more, Bored Panda contacted one of the post's commentators, who agreed to share their opinions but requested anonymity.
#4

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” I've had so many "straight" men try to get me to fool around with them that I believe if we didn't make such a big deal about s*x, more men would be at least bi.

Having said that, just because I am gay does not mean I want to fool around with every guy I see. I won't even consider s*x until a few dates in.

Samisoy001 , Joshua Mcknight Report

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Bernd Herbert
Bernd Herbert
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How is that hard for some to understand? I'm straight, doesn't mean I want to f**k every woman on this planet

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#5

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” The ABSOLUTE hatred for tiny dogs, I swear to god it’s still a dog man just smaller, showing affection or walking a small animal does not make you gay.

FemboyHooters- , Robert Bogdan Report

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David Paterson
David Paterson
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's the pitch of the dog's voice. Perforated eardrums is not my idea of fun.

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#6

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” Sports, they are just mind bogglingly boring to me, I’m what most people would consider a manly man gay/bi man and I still can’t imagine getting excited over them, UFC is slightly more entertaining but I still can’t be arsed to care about it.

FemboyHooters- , Beyza Kaplan Report

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It’s quite common for women to have elaborate skincare routines, but here’s the thing: men don’t have 'magical’ skin; they also need to take care of their faces and bodies. The commentator believes, “It’s quite perplexing as to why straight men don’t prioritize grooming. We all want to look good, and that requires effort. You can’t expect your skin to glow if you don’t even have the time to apply sunscreen before going out.”

Expressing your emotions is definitely not a sign of weakness. “It’s okay to feel sad; it’s okay to say it out loud. It's all right to tell your family and friends you are going through a bad phase. While I understand how difficult it is to open up, you shouldn’t bottle up your feelings,” he adds.

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#7

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” I have never and will never understand why so many (obviously not all) straight men obviously want to have s*x with women, but have issues with women who want s*x. Why on earth would you s**t-shame women for having or wanting s*x... if you want to have s*x with women? It’s a complete double standard that forces women to have to avoid being both a s**t and being frigid. Crazy to me.

Rottenox , Monica Silvestre Report

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Guess Undheit
Guess Undheit
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because more often than not it's about control, dominance, and violence. Cis hetero males want endless sex before marriage, but then they demand "a virgin wife".

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#8

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” Wearing sunscreen. I offer people sunscreen when I’m going to be outside with them for more than an hour. A surprising number of people turn it down. Like, man, it’s free. You’re not too tough to get skin cancer, and you’re sure as sh*t not stronger than the sun.

Sethrial , Anna Tarazevich Report

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CanadianDimes
CanadianDimes
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Our skin has an SPF of around two. TWO. You can’t be stronger than the sun

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#9

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” I don't get how they can't grasp the idea of a woman being equal to them and not an object like a sportscar that they brag brag with.

Michi181298 , Nguyễn Huỳnh Phong Trường Report

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similarly
similarly
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was fortunate that I grew up surrounded by very strong, well-educated, independent women. I never had a problem with answering to a female boss, or treating women as equals. The women in my family had a profound effect on how I see women.

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When we are not able to speak our hearts out, our brain frequently enters a fight-or-flight response. The University of Kansas Health System points out, “This is a physical reaction to stress that sets off a chain of events throughout our bodies. It increases our heart rate, slows digestive functions, and makes us feel anxious or depressed.”
#10

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” The overwhelming fear a lot of straight guys have of being thought of as gay. I had a friend that, while we did get along really well and he didn't mind my sexuality personally, felt like he couldn't be seen around me anymore. It was quite painful to lose the friendship in that way, and since then I've noticed how big that fear is for a lot of people.

anon , John Karlo Mendoza Report

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Roland Nijveld
Roland Nijveld
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unfortunately alot of people have homophobes in their circle. Either "friends" or family.

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#11

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” I don’t understand why straight men don’t want gay men around. Gay men aren’t after women, so the more there are the less actual competition there is for the straight girls.

anon , Mizuno K Report

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Susie Elle
Susie Elle
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Because those are the type of men that only understand what consent means when a gay man is around them

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#12

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” My male family members make fun of me for taking skincare seriously. Bro, you don't want nice skin?

HeartAttackMemeGuy:

I'm straight and my brother expects me to look like a frickin caveman or something? I put anything other than deodorant on me and they call me gay unironically.

anon , Lumin Report

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SCP 4666
SCP 4666
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3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Throw some skincare products on him and watch him writhe in pain as he slowly turns gayer and gayer

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Speaking about dressing sense, he says, “In my opinion, straight men have a more utilitarian approach to fashion. They choose clothes for practical reasons and don’t experiment much. I believe they can do better than the classic white shirt and blue pants.”
#13

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” If you're gonna brag about your s*x life you probably shouldn't get offended if I brag about mine. It's a double standard. If you don't want to hear about mine, consider keeping yours to yourself.

CastInShadow , Kristin Vogt Report

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#14

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” Their denial of wanting nice things because they might not be “manly”.

I know straight men who flat out refuse to buy cocktails, because they’re “girly” and will straight up just order beer even though they’ve said they hate the taste.

anon , lindsay Cotter Report

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censorshipsucks
censorshipsucks
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3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

as a 6'2" african male, I am always viewed with surprise when I order cocktails. I cannot stand beer. It makes you fat and does not contain enough alcohol to be counted as an alcoholic beverage.

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#15

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” Why do they have to assert their masculinity every second with literally everybody? It must suck wanting to be silly and have some fun and be reminded all the time that you have to be an epic alpha male.

I know it's not every straight man but still.

Chasm987 , Lance Reis Report

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am so alpha I refuse to use the other 25 letters in the alphabet and exclusively type with the letter A.

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Lastly, the commentator also highlighted how men should not stick to the ‘traditional’ roles that society expects from them. “Learn cooking; clean the house by yourself. It’s confusing why men are not expected to learn basic life skills. I know many men do it now, but I have a few colleagues who absolutely refuse to do basic chores.”

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#16

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” At the risk of sounding like a stereotypical shallow gay - so many men just aren't even trying when it comes to their appearance. So many are overweight (seriously, cut back on the beers and go for a jog). Dress sloppily, don't manicure their hair, look after their teeth and in some cases actually stink. Like it or not - your body is just as much a part of you as your personality. Women would probably find you more approachable or treat you with more value too and they aren't automatically gold diggers or "whores" just for finding a more attractive man more, well - attractive. Women actually have to try pretty hard to make themselves aesthetically "worth it" to both the opposite and same sex, I kinda feel men should be held to the same standard too. It's amazing how many cases I see of "hot wide married to average looki'n Joe" - men should be grateful that women generally aren't as physical-motivated as they are otherwise a lot less straight guys would be scoring without a skincare routine and some time at the gym.

anon , Towfiqu barbhuiya Report

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Ace
Ace
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've known some gay men who are equally careless about their appearance. The stereotype than all gay men are self-obsessed and narcissistic about their appearance is just as wrong as suggesting that all straight men are not.

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#17

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” What's the obsession with buying trucks?

Snarfsicle , Athena Sandrini Report

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Roland Nijveld
Roland Nijveld
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what every European wonders as well... Isn't a van more practical?

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#18

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” Why can’t you guys cry to one another?

eab33305 Report

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similarly
similarly
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually WANT to be able to cry, and I can't. I always told my kids that there was nothing wrong with crying, but I DID say "If you're crying because you're sad, that's completely okay. If you're crying because you're hurt, that's okay too! If you're crying because you didn't get what you wanted, well, that's not really going to help!"

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Reflecting similar feelings about how ‘traditional men’ behave, Luis Rodriguez, a software engineer working in Germany, shares, "It is in general emotions, the very narrow range of, almost lack of feelings and emotions they express: many straight men do not talk about or express their emotions. They restrict themselves for different reasons; maybe it was the way many of them were raised; it can also be a lack of interest, but I believe it is fear of opening up and being vulnerable or giving out a sense of weakness.”

“Not sure how many times I have heard the typical phrase of 'men/boys do not cry' and so on, and not only sadness but joy, love, and appreciation," he adds.
#19

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” A lot of straight men think gay guys want to have s*x with every male they encounter. Do they feel that way around females, so they just assume we do as well?

As a gay male, I just assume any other man I'm around probably *isn't* gay, so my thoughts never even go there. Maybe that's not an issue with females because the odds are more in their favor or something?

Jaycatt , Marcelo Chagas Report

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Luke Branwen
Luke Branwen
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretty often, straight men make me think they'd f#ck a tree if there was a viable hole, so it's no wonder they project that on gay men, too.

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#20

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” I don't get why they always ask us if we secretly have a crush on them. Like duuuude are you that stupid...?

anon , LinkedIn Sales Solutions Report

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#21

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” Being friends with other guys for decades and never talking about their feelings....ever....unless you're hammered?

Are you guys just like, not interested in what your friends are thinking or feeling outside of shared activities like video games or sports?

MaybeAlzheimers , Roman Synkevych Report

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Mia Black
Mia Black
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah I feel so sad knowing that my dad only shares feelings when with friends out drinking. I'm his daughter and have some of the same struggles he had but I learned to speak about it and open up (even with the risk of being hurt or traited) because it's healthcare to speak with understanding persons...I wish he could speak with me or my mom or even with a friend just without alcohol....

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#22

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” The anger.


Its definitely just the bias of my experience, but straight men tend to be angrily violent depending on the day/situation. Whether its getting frustrated at a video game, or its a bad day and i happen to be "acting" a little bit too effeminate and it catches their attention. But often times it ends with them lashing out and I've never met someone of a different persuasion than "straight male".

ACalcifiedHeart , Evelyn Chong Report

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Luke Branwen
Luke Branwen
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Men can only brag about how logical and emotionless they are because they've successfully convinced the society that anger is not an emotion.

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As society progresses, the idea of masculinity continues to adapt, reflecting broader shifts towards individual authenticity.

Rodriguez says, “Something I don’t understand is the expression of masculinity; of course I am not generalizing, and it is more common in certain cultures, but I just don’t get the physical features men consider more masculine (being stronger or taller) and behaviors men tend to adopt to be perceived as masculine, from the way a man should walk or talk, again not showing emotions or sense of vulnerability to avoid being perceived as weak, all the way to seeing several women. Funny that if a man can be with several women, he is perceived in society as someone to respect; it’s called being macho.”
#23

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” The 'no homo' bit! Like if you really felt the need to add that, you probably need some introspection time.

TheAmmiSquad , Armin Rimoldi Report

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#24

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” I've known too many straight men that just cannot think straight when a woman is involved.

Puppy love happens with gay men, sometimes with disastrous results since we don't all have the support of a loving family. So I understand that.
But the whole "Romeo & Juliet" / "the whole world is against us" mindset is just too prevalent with straight men.

No, everyone isn't "against" your girlfriend. She seems fine. But you're my friend. I want to hang out with you. Getting a new girlfriend shouldn't mean all your friendships die.

26_Charlie , Crook & Marker Report

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Shark Lady
Shark Lady
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't understand the obsession with Romeo and Juliet, they both end up dead in the end.

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#25

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” Why being gay is seen as the butt of jokes a lot of the time. Even people who claim they're not homophobic still tend to lean on "HAHA, YOU'RE *GAY* AND THAT'S *FUNNY*" as a go-to joke/insult. What's the punchline? Why is it seen as funny or insulting to be gay or considered gay by straight people who claim they have no problem with gay people? I must be missing something, clearly.

anon , Jonathan Goncalves Report

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Luke Branwen
Luke Branwen
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just keep a straight face and ask "Sorry, I think I didn't get the joke, could you please explain to me what makes it funny?"

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#26

Obligatory not gay, but I as a straight man have never understood the appeal of lesbian p*rn. I realize how strange it must be to hear that, but whenever I see two lesbians going at it, I feel like I'm intruding. I've just never understood why other straight people are so turned on by gay people. I mean from a biological perspective it's completely counterintuitive.

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winterwidow87
winterwidow87
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3 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a lesbian i don't really get the appeal of lesbian p.o.rn mainly because it's so unrealistic. I can't get into it if i see two women with wolverine nails going at it, i only think "ouch".

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Being competitive is healthy, but it's important not to let it become overwhelming or detrimental. Rodriguez believes, “My last point would be how competitive men are, especially to one another, to be with a girl, to get a job, to win something. Very competitive and selfish, and leading as well to them not asking for help when they really need it, again to not show signs of weakness or vulnerability.”

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#27

The "I stay with my wife even tho my life is hell, just because we have kids" reasoning.

I get it. You don't want to harm your kid. But dear god if you and your wife scream at each other constantly anyways, I wonder what will be more damaging for your kid.

Throwing away probably 10+ years of your life is so stupid and don't get me started on how bitter these guys become. 2 of my work colleagues go through this now. Both say "I will move out in an heartbeat as soon as my kids are out of the house." Yeah... That's still 10 years away for you. And thats only when they move out the second they turn 18. What they won't. So add another 2 to 4 years on that. So you tell me, that your s****y mood will stay for the next decate, where you scream at colleagues because you made a mistake and they pointed it out to you? Nice one dude...

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#28

Don't get why they use gay as an insult but we can't use straight as an insult. I think both insults are childish but still. Pretty damn hypocritical...

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#29

How they can act even gayer than us sometimes. Asked a straight friend of mine if j*ck-off circles were a real thing and they said
“Yeah, I’ve been in a Few.”
Like...yeah sure you’re straight.

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Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jack off circles are a thing? Where do I sign up? I mean cough cough that's gay and I am super straight.

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#30

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” I know not everyone does that, but not showing any feelings to try to look "manly".

everynameisusedlol , Alan Cordero Report

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#31

It’s my understanding that many straight men don’t wash their a**es because they think touching down there is gay; that many guys just let the water run down and hope that it does what needs to be done. Seriously? If so, that’s way gross. And just what do you think your sexual partners are encountering when they’re down in that neck of the woods?

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Ace
Ace
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your understanding is fundamentally incorrect. No, this is not a thing.

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#32

25 “Straight Male” Quirks That Make Gay Men Say, “Really?” The norm of paying for every date rather than splitting the bill equally or occasionally doing it as a surprise act of love for them.

yeeetstreet , cottonbro studio Report

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Shark Lady
Shark Lady
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I believe this is slowly changing. Women didn't have their own money for a very long time, so it was expected that the man would pay for dates. I was brought up to always have my own money and to not be reliant on a man, but some other women my age were brought up to believe that a man should take care of them.

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#33

The obsession with grass and lawns. Lifes too short for that b******t.

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clairebear
clairebear
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lawns need to be phased out. They are wildlife deserts, guzzle water, and it is a waste of growing space. Dig it up and plant trees or grow veg.

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#34

Why on earth would you let anyone influence your interest in feeling great during sex, even with a woman. You have a ton of pleasure nerves in your butt, why neglect it??

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#35

I don’t understand the whole bass pro shop hat thing I see sometimes on tiktok. I get people who wear hats for a team but this is a weird part of masculinity to me.

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Ace
Ace
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can only guess at what you're talking about, knowing only that Bass Pro is a fishing shop chain, but presumably you're referring to a recent fashion trend and somehow extrapolating from what some kids on TikTok are doing to this being something in common to all straight men. Tell me, how do you know whether the people doing "this whole bass pro shop hat thing" are straight, gay or any other orientation?

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#36

The constantly touching each other for no reason. The guys at my job are always poking and grabbing at each other and giggling like crazy. I don’t get it. Like at all.

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Jeremy James
Jeremy James
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Straight men invented arm wrestling so they could hold hands and look into each other's eyes.

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#37

Straight men seem to think they're not allowed to:

Be emotionally/physically vulnerable with their friends (crying to / holding hands w friends)

Put effort into their appearance/clothes

Cook??? Like healthy food???



Y'all what? I take a particularly bad s**t and I need a hug from my roommate to console me. It's healing. Are you guys okay?

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A girl
A girl
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok. That last paragraph. Are you my husband? He has some digestive challenges and I have absolutely consoled him after an episode.

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#38

Not gay, but bi, I don’t understand the fear of seeming to be in a relationship with a girl because you are close friends. It makes no sense to me, I would think that most people would assume that two people walking together aren’t in a relationship as their first thought.

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Luke Branwen
Luke Branwen
Community Member
3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You'd be wrong lmao. I once went with my best (female) friend to a store where my mom works, and all of mom's colleagues immediately started shipping us together.

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#39

I am bi and a dog groomer but this still applies either way, straight men in general absolutely loathe poodles looking like poodles even if its their wifes dog. Its like it somehow detracts from how straight they are or something which imo has lead to the popularity of the stupid teddy bear style clip. If any straight guy is reading this then google german poodle breed clip its masculine, clean, utilitarian and if you pay for it then even if your wife hates it then its still an easy to clean style and its a bonafide official breed clip.

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Manana Man
Manana Man
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I googled it. That cut makes for a really nice profile. What I don't like is that old fashioned poodle cut that's like a bunch of puff balls. I don't think there's anything gay about it. It just looks stupid. Let the dog have a little dignity.

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#40

How homophobic they can be... like... b***h you should be happy because your ugly a*s got less competition with the ladies (they ain't gonna choose you anyway tho).

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#41

Assuming every relationship you enter is monogamous by default and then cheating. Why not just have an adult conversation early on? Also, do you know the ratio of mating events to births in our species?? Monogamy is just so unnatural for humans, but to each their own I guess.

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Ace
Ace
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3 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"To each their own" but "monogamy is unnatural". Does anyone else see the contradiction here?

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