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We’ve often heard people say that men don’t understand women and the other way around. But sometimes, it can be difficult to relate to people of the same gender as well.
For instance, a Reddit thread explored the topic: things gay men don't understand about straight men. It all started when a user sparked a lively discussion by asking, "Gay men of Reddit, what’s something about straight men that doesn't make sense to you?" And the responses were both intriguing and eye-opening. Below, we’ve compiled some really impressive answers for you, Pandas.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
I really don't understand the, "I hate my wife trope."
thedean246:
I’ve worked with some older generations and most of them treat it the same way. They’ll sit there and complain about their wife and being married. I’m recently married and I’ve had several older dudes try to joke with me about it. Like… no. I actually love and enjoy my wife.
PeepPeep the duck 4 months ago
I never understood it either as a straight female, like we get proposed too (generally speaking) - they made their choice 😂
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#2
How certain things make you "gay" or less manly.
Quazakee:
One of my goals in life is to dress well enough that people think I'm gay.
PeepPeep the duck 4 months ago
This! 😂 when my mum left my dad (for her soulmate / I have two mums) my dad went through this weird phase, and it’s not funny but to 8yr old me it was hilarious - he got over mum ‘turning’ gay by banning ANYTHING gay from the household while he blasted Elton John cds 💿 24/7. That confused me on Elton John for bit 😂
#3
Their contempt for women. They mansplain to them, they troll their socials, criticize their looks, downplay or even oppose their views despite their validity, and they feel like you are owed sex just because she is nice or dresses sexy. And to always associate girly stuff with weakness.
Toxic masculinity is just so exhausting. Men live shorter lives not because women stress them out, it's because of toxic masculinity.
CanadianDimes 4 months ago
And they’re sure to mansplain why mansplaining isn’t real and go on about “red pill for women” when women point out misogyny
As humans, we ought to make an effort to comprehend other perspectives since it enhances our social and personal interactions. When we accept and value different points of view, it fosters our own development and also helps us build more inclusive communities.
These posts reflect how straight men and gay men have their own unique views due to their distinct life experiences and societal expectations. In order to learn more, Bored Panda contacted one of the post's commentators, who agreed to share their opinions but requested anonymity.
#4
I've had so many "straight" men try to get me to fool around with them that I believe if we didn't make such a big deal about s*x, more men would be at least bi.
Having said that, just because I am gay does not mean I want to fool around with every guy I see. I won't even consider s*x until a few dates in.
Bernd Herbert 4 months ago
How is that hard for some to understand? I'm straight, doesn't mean I want to f**k every woman on this planet
#5
The ABSOLUTE hatred for tiny dogs, I swear to god it’s still a dog man just smaller, showing affection or walking a small animal does not make you gay.
David Paterson 4 months ago
It's the pitch of the dog's voice. Perforated eardrums is not my idea of fun.
#6
Sports, they are just mind bogglingly boring to me, I’m what most people would consider a manly man gay/bi man and I still can’t imagine getting excited over them, UFC is slightly more entertaining but I still can’t be arsed to care about it.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 4 months ago
Straight guy here, I am with you. Sports are so meh, who cares?
It’s quite common for women to have elaborate skincare routines, but here’s the thing: men don’t have 'magical’ skin; they also need to take care of their faces and bodies. The commentator believes, “It’s quite perplexing as to why straight men don’t prioritize grooming. We all want to look good, and that requires effort. You can’t expect your skin to glow if you don’t even have the time to apply sunscreen before going out.”
Expressing your emotions is definitely not a sign of weakness. “It’s okay to feel sad; it’s okay to say it out loud. It's all right to tell your family and friends you are going through a bad phase. While I understand how difficult it is to open up, you shouldn’t bottle up your feelings,” he adds.
#7
I have never and will never understand why so many (obviously not all) straight men obviously want to have s*x with women, but have issues with women who want s*x. Why on earth would you s**t-shame women for having or wanting s*x... if you want to have s*x with women? It’s a complete double standard that forces women to have to avoid being both a s**t and being frigid. Crazy to me.
Guess Undheit 4 months ago
Because more often than not it's about control, dominance, and violence. Cis hetero males want endless sex before marriage, but then they demand "a virgin wife".
#8
Wearing sunscreen. I offer people sunscreen when I’m going to be outside with them for more than an hour. A surprising number of people turn it down. Like, man, it’s free. You’re not too tough to get skin cancer, and you’re sure as sh*t not stronger than the sun.
CanadianDimes 4 months ago
Our skin has an SPF of around two. TWO. You can’t be stronger than the sun
#9
I don't get how they can't grasp the idea of a woman being equal to them and not an object like a sportscar that they brag brag with.
When we are not able to speak our hearts out, our brain frequently enters a fight-or-flight response. The University of Kansas Health System points out, “This is a physical reaction to stress that sets off a chain of events throughout our bodies. It increases our heart rate, slows digestive functions, and makes us feel anxious or depressed.”
#10
The overwhelming fear a lot of straight guys have of being thought of as gay. I had a friend that, while we did get along really well and he didn't mind my sexuality personally, felt like he couldn't be seen around me anymore. It was quite painful to lose the friendship in that way, and since then I've noticed how big that fear is for a lot of people.
Roland Nijveld 4 months ago
Unfortunately alot of people have homophobes in their circle. Either "friends" or family.
#11
I don’t understand why straight men don’t want gay men around. Gay men aren’t after women, so the more there are the less actual competition there is for the straight girls.
Susie Elle 4 months ago
Because those are the type of men that only understand what consent means when a gay man is around them
#12
My male family members make fun of me for taking skincare seriously. Bro, you don't want nice skin?
HeartAttackMemeGuy:
I'm straight and my brother expects me to look like a frickin caveman or something? I put anything other than deodorant on me and they call me gay unironically.
Speaking about dressing sense, he says, “In my opinion, straight men have a more utilitarian approach to fashion. They choose clothes for practical reasons and don’t experiment much. I believe they can do better than the classic white shirt and blue pants.”
#13
If you're gonna brag about your s*x life you probably shouldn't get offended if I brag about mine. It's a double standard. If you don't want to hear about mine, consider keeping yours to yourself.
#14
Their denial of wanting nice things because they might not be “manly”.
I know straight men who flat out refuse to buy cocktails, because they’re “girly” and will straight up just order beer even though they’ve said they hate the taste.
censorshipsucks 4 months ago (edited)
as a 6'2" african male, I am always viewed with surprise when I order cocktails. I cannot stand beer. It makes you fat and does not contain enough alcohol to be counted as an alcoholic beverage.
#15
Why do they have to assert their masculinity every second with literally everybody? It must suck wanting to be silly and have some fun and be reminded all the time that you have to be an epic alpha male.
I know it's not every straight man but still.
Nathaniel He/Him Cis-Het 4 months ago
I am so alpha I refuse to use the other 25 letters in the alphabet and exclusively type with the letter A.
Lastly, the commentator also highlighted how men should not stick to the ‘traditional’ roles that society expects from them. “Learn cooking; clean the house by yourself. It’s confusing why men are not expected to learn basic life skills. I know many men do it now, but I have a few colleagues who absolutely refuse to do basic chores.”
#16
At the risk of sounding like a stereotypical shallow gay - so many men just aren't even trying when it comes to their appearance. So many are overweight (seriously, cut back on the beers and go for a jog). Dress sloppily, don't manicure their hair, look after their teeth and in some cases actually stink. Like it or not - your body is just as much a part of you as your personality. Women would probably find you more approachable or treat you with more value too and they aren't automatically gold diggers or "whores" just for finding a more attractive man more, well - attractive. Women actually have to try pretty hard to make themselves aesthetically "worth it" to both the opposite and same sex, I kinda feel men should be held to the same standard too. It's amazing how many cases I see of "hot wide married to average looki'n Joe" - men should be grateful that women generally aren't as physical-motivated as they are otherwise a lot less straight guys would be scoring without a skincare routine and some time at the gym.
#17
What's the obsession with buying trucks?
Roland Nijveld 4 months ago
That's what every European wonders as well... Isn't a van more practical?
#18
Why can’t you guys cry to one another?
similarly 4 months ago
I actually WANT to be able to cry, and I can't. I always told my kids that there was nothing wrong with crying, but I DID say "If you're crying because you're sad, that's completely okay. If you're crying because you're hurt, that's okay too! If you're crying because you didn't get what you wanted, well, that's not really going to help!"
Reflecting similar feelings about how ‘traditional men’ behave, Luis Rodriguez, a software engineer working in Germany, shares, "It is in general emotions, the very narrow range of, almost lack of feelings and emotions they express: many straight men do not talk about or express their emotions. They restrict themselves for different reasons; maybe it was the way many of them were raised; it can also be a lack of interest, but I believe it is fear of opening up and being vulnerable or giving out a sense of weakness.”
“Not sure how many times I have heard the typical phrase of 'men/boys do not cry' and so on, and not only sadness but joy, love, and appreciation," he adds.
#19
A lot of straight men think gay guys want to have s*x with every male they encounter. Do they feel that way around females, so they just assume we do as well?
As a gay male, I just assume any other man I'm around probably *isn't* gay, so my thoughts never even go there. Maybe that's not an issue with females because the odds are more in their favor or something?
Luke Branwen 4 months ago
Pretty often, straight men make me think they'd f#ck a tree if there was a viable hole, so it's no wonder they project that on gay men, too.
#20
I don't get why they always ask us if we secretly have a crush on them. Like duuuude are you that stupid...?
#21
Being friends with other guys for decades and never talking about their feelings....ever....unless you're hammered?
Are you guys just like, not interested in what your friends are thinking or feeling outside of shared activities like video games or sports?
Mia Black 4 months ago
Yeah I feel so sad knowing that my dad only shares feelings when with friends out drinking. I'm his daughter and have some of the same struggles he had but I learned to speak about it and open up (even with the risk of being hurt or traited) because it's healthcare to speak with understanding persons...I wish he could speak with me or my mom or even with a friend just without alcohol....
#22
The anger.
Its definitely just the bias of my experience, but straight men tend to be angrily violent depending on the day/situation. Whether its getting frustrated at a video game, or its a bad day and i happen to be "acting" a little bit too effeminate and it catches their attention. But often times it ends with them lashing out and I've never met someone of a different persuasion than "straight male".
Luke Branwen 4 months ago
Men can only brag about how logical and emotionless they are because they've successfully convinced the society that anger is not an emotion.
As society progresses, the idea of masculinity continues to adapt, reflecting broader shifts towards individual authenticity.
Rodriguez says, “Something I don’t understand is the expression of masculinity; of course I am not generalizing, and it is more common in certain cultures, but I just don’t get the physical features men consider more masculine (being stronger or taller) and behaviors men tend to adopt to be perceived as masculine, from the way a man should walk or talk, again not showing emotions or sense of vulnerability to avoid being perceived as weak, all the way to seeing several women. Funny that if a man can be with several women, he is perceived in society as someone to respect; it’s called being macho.”
#23
The 'no homo' bit! Like if you really felt the need to add that, you probably need some introspection time.
#24
I've known too many straight men that just cannot think straight when a woman is involved.
Puppy love happens with gay men, sometimes with disastrous results since we don't all have the support of a loving family. So I understand that.
But the whole "Romeo & Juliet" / "the whole world is against us" mindset is just too prevalent with straight men.
No, everyone isn't "against" your girlfriend. She seems fine. But you're my friend. I want to hang out with you. Getting a new girlfriend shouldn't mean all your friendships die.
Shark Lady 4 months ago
I don't understand the obsession with Romeo and Juliet, they both end up dead in the end.
#25
Why being gay is seen as the butt of jokes a lot of the time. Even people who claim they're not homophobic still tend to lean on "HAHA, YOU'RE *GAY* AND THAT'S *FUNNY*" as a go-to joke/insult. What's the punchline? Why is it seen as funny or insulting to be gay or considered gay by straight people who claim they have no problem with gay people? I must be missing something, clearly.
What do you think ?
Carl Roberts 4 months ago
This list should be titled, "40 gay men post ignorant stereotypes about straight men", heck, this is borderline bigotry. Just imagine of this was reversed....
Ace 4 months ago
Not only stereotypes about straight men but reinforcing stereotypes about gay men, presumably posted by other gay men. Nearly all of the characteristics mentioned are not in the least bit specific to all gay or straight men.
Load More Replies...
Dan Flo 4 months ago
I though being gay or straight is just a matter of what gender you are attracted to, not your general behaviour. Like, if a straight man thinks certain clothes are "gay", that is not because he is straight - that is because he is an idiot
Bret Sander 4 months ago
Being gay, I am attracted to a man's sex, not his gender.
Load More Replies... Cathy 4 months ago
I, I don't know what to think of this but I can tell you except from 'should pay a bit more attention to looks and could talk about feelings more'.. It feels like we are talking about a whole other species. I do not know any men who are like that
marianne eliza 4 months ago
Get some gay friends. They're fun and safe. And then you'll be able to observe what really goes on.
Load More Replies...
Serena Myers 4 months ago
Watch out, fellow pandas, there is a mysterious new phenomenon. An author gives herself 60 upvotes, you don't even bother to read the article because you find it uninteresting, so you downvote. Lo and behold, your downvote is cancelled out by one mysterious upvote. Still 60 upvotes and no comments. Yes, I know, not relevant here, but watch out for their sneaky tricks!
Serena Myers 4 months ago
Same happened again today. I could tell you the person I know that is doing this, but that would be beneath me. Screenshots taken, BP, do your worst!
Load More Replies...
Guy-Incognito 4 months ago
One thing I will say that disturbs me; the amount of straight guys that want a f*ckable version of their mum when they get a partner. Like it's not even a small percentage.
Nimitz 4 months ago
If you're a straight guy fuming at the list and looking for a way to invalidate it, just remember that a lot of this comes from the fact that we just don't feel safe around you guys. Looking through this list (currently 25) and yeah, I know at least one dude who matches each entry. So maybe there's a clue cause most of you aren't the helpful saints you think you are
brittany 4 months ago
when they have a kink or f*tish but scorn people who live as their authentic self. i knew a straight guy (at least he said he was) who fantasized about being female. had a whole body suit and everything. nothing wrong with that at all. he wore this and other female accessories during intimacy. however he was extremely transphobic and homophobic despite his partner being lgbt and spoke hatefully about anyone he even thought might be trans or gay. it was so hypocritical. lost that friendship fast when i confronted him. i think there was a lot of internalized hatred going on with him. hope he got help or found himself eventually
marianne eliza 4 months ago (edited)
I (64f)guess because I'm from CA. we grow up a lot more accepting. I have relatives and friends who are LG (no BTQs in my family that I know of). They are fun people with adult level conversational abilities and sympathy and empathy. Best buds. And great to go out with for a night of fun. You have male companionship and protection and they are usually up to do lots of stuff, from museums and theater, to art and wine festivals and vacations. You know, the kind of stuff insecure straight guys would label you "gay" for enjoying.
mandy the capibara 4 months ago
It is odd that I recognize the stereotypes, but if I think about the men in my social circle, absolutely none if them fits these descriptions.
Aiden Brough 4 months ago (edited)
I'm sure the irony is not lost on the author of the this article and those who were interviewed about how the more we strive for inclusion and equality that some we seem to be more exclusive and diversive. Personally, I'm not sure what a "gay man" or "straight man" is? You see, to me they are just men. What has someone's sexuallity got to do with who they are? Odd how we need to have more and more labels, initals, months etc to be 'inclusive' yet clearly we are all becoming less and less...
BoredWolfe 4 months ago
Why are we scraping Reddit threads from three years ago? Did you forget that we can see that in the post?
Jacquie Carr 4 months ago (edited)
Men in these comments saying these are stereotypes, lol. Most men would admit to at least some of these if they were actually honest with themselves. Do you all think the rest of the world is blind? We see and hear your reactions & behaviours all around us, why lie about it? You're faking outrage because you don't like sounding emotionally stunted
William Teach 4 months ago
So, would it be acceptable to have a post "40 things straight men do not understand about gay men"? That will never happen. I have zero problem with either, but, people would freak
Michael Largey 4 months ago
I would consider such a topic acceptable, informative, and worthwhile. I suspect most people on BP would as well.
Load More Replies... Carl Roberts 4 months ago
This list should be titled, "40 gay men post ignorant stereotypes about straight men", heck, this is borderline bigotry. Just imagine of this was reversed....
Ace 4 months ago
Not only stereotypes about straight men but reinforcing stereotypes about gay men, presumably posted by other gay men. Nearly all of the characteristics mentioned are not in the least bit specific to all gay or straight men.
Load More Replies... Dan Flo 4 months ago
I though being gay or straight is just a matter of what gender you are attracted to, not your general behaviour. Like, if a straight man thinks certain clothes are "gay", that is not because he is straight - that is because he is an idiot
Bret Sander 4 months ago
Being gay, I am attracted to a man's sex, not his gender.
Load More Replies... Cathy 4 months ago
I, I don't know what to think of this but I can tell you except from 'should pay a bit more attention to looks and could talk about feelings more'.. It feels like we are talking about a whole other species. I do not know any men who are like that
marianne eliza 4 months ago
Get some gay friends. They're fun and safe. And then you'll be able to observe what really goes on.
Load More Replies... Serena Myers 4 months ago
Watch out, fellow pandas, there is a mysterious new phenomenon. An author gives herself 60 upvotes, you don't even bother to read the article because you find it uninteresting, so you downvote. Lo and behold, your downvote is cancelled out by one mysterious upvote. Still 60 upvotes and no comments. Yes, I know, not relevant here, but watch out for their sneaky tricks!
Serena Myers 4 months ago
Same happened again today. I could tell you the person I know that is doing this, but that would be beneath me. Screenshots taken, BP, do your worst!
Load More Replies... Guy-Incognito 4 months ago
One thing I will say that disturbs me; the amount of straight guys that want a f*ckable version of their mum when they get a partner. Like it's not even a small percentage.
Nimitz 4 months ago
If you're a straight guy fuming at the list and looking for a way to invalidate it, just remember that a lot of this comes from the fact that we just don't feel safe around you guys. Looking through this list (currently 25) and yeah, I know at least one dude who matches each entry. So maybe there's a clue cause most of you aren't the helpful saints you think you are
brittany 4 months ago
when they have a kink or f*tish but scorn people who live as their authentic self. i knew a straight guy (at least he said he was) who fantasized about being female. had a whole body suit and everything. nothing wrong with that at all. he wore this and other female accessories during intimacy. however he was extremely transphobic and homophobic despite his partner being lgbt and spoke hatefully about anyone he even thought might be trans or gay. it was so hypocritical. lost that friendship fast when i confronted him. i think there was a lot of internalized hatred going on with him. hope he got help or found himself eventually
marianne eliza 4 months ago (edited)
I (64f)guess because I'm from CA. we grow up a lot more accepting. I have relatives and friends who are LG (no BTQs in my family that I know of). They are fun people with adult level conversational abilities and sympathy and empathy. Best buds. And great to go out with for a night of fun. You have male companionship and protection and they are usually up to do lots of stuff, from museums and theater, to art and wine festivals and vacations. You know, the kind of stuff insecure straight guys would label you "gay" for enjoying.
mandy the capibara 4 months ago
It is odd that I recognize the stereotypes, but if I think about the men in my social circle, absolutely none if them fits these descriptions.
Aiden Brough 4 months ago (edited)
I'm sure the irony is not lost on the author of the this article and those who were interviewed about how the more we strive for inclusion and equality that some we seem to be more exclusive and diversive. Personally, I'm not sure what a "gay man" or "straight man" is? You see, to me they are just men. What has someone's sexuallity got to do with who they are? Odd how we need to have more and more labels, initals, months etc to be 'inclusive' yet clearly we are all becoming less and less...
BoredWolfe 4 months ago
Why are we scraping Reddit threads from three years ago? Did you forget that we can see that in the post?
Jacquie Carr 4 months ago (edited)
Men in these comments saying these are stereotypes, lol. Most men would admit to at least some of these if they were actually honest with themselves. Do you all think the rest of the world is blind? We see and hear your reactions & behaviours all around us, why lie about it? You're faking outrage because you don't like sounding emotionally stunted
William Teach 4 months ago
So, would it be acceptable to have a post "40 things straight men do not understand about gay men"? That will never happen. I have zero problem with either, but, people would freak
Michael Largey 4 months ago
I would consider such a topic acceptable, informative, and worthwhile. I suspect most people on BP would as well.
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