30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women

It's a cliché, but it's true. Men just don't understand women. For example, a study published in the journal PLOS ONE showed that men had twice as much trouble deciphering women's emotions from images of their eyes compared to those of men. (In addition, their brains showed different activation when looking at men versus women's eyes.)

So when Reddit user UnawareMother2 made a post on the platform, asking, "What's the biggest hint you've ever missed from a woman?" there was no shortage of cringey, funny, and even sad answers. Here are some of the most memorable ones.

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30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women In highschool I asked a girl to come watch a movie rental with me and some friends. She was sitting on the floor in front of me, and rubbed her neck saying that her neck/shoulders were sore. Completely missing the cue to offer a back massage, I got up and offered her a Tylenol. My buddies ribbed me for that for a long time. Somehow with my terrible game I still managed to marry her and we have 3 kids now.

twilling8 , JESHOOTS.com Report

Final score:

215points

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30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women Watching TV in my living room at roughly 2 a.m., in the dark.

Her: *applying strawberry lip gloss*

Me: Why are you putting on lip gloss?

Her: Strawberry lip gloss tastes so nice.

Me: Haha, you're weird.

Her: Want to taste?

Me: Nah, I already know what it tastes like.

Commence several years of late-night self-loathing and regret.

jamoce4269 , Letticia Massari Report

Final score:

162points

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30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women While in high school I was at a gig with a bunch of people from my year and had been standing next to this girl the whole night chatting.

Another guy asked us if we were together and she replied 'not yet' and I laughed and replied 'good one' while she looked at me weirdly.

I had such a crush on her as well.

McClernon , Martin Lopez Report

Final score:

152points

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30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women So my boyfriend is so bad at flirting, we have known each other for 15 years and we were always just friends. We always had secret crushes on each other but we’re always dating other people.

About 6 years ago after we had both been single a while, I had invited him over to go in the hot tub with me. Legit had candels lit and everything, not a move was made. Even after we got out I was sitting with him on the couch I put my head in his lap, he legit went nonverbal.

The next week was new years and when the ball dropped I kissed him and all he could say was ‘you are interested in being more than friends?!’ Lol DUH

That was 5 years ago, now we are getting married next year :)

Skrimppy666 , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

141points

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30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women Sometime back in the early 2000's
Having dinner with some colleagues..

She: Hey r/madasaturtle , Ive never been with a Dutch Guy.......

What I should have said:
"Well, lets do something about that tonight."

What I said instead :
"Me neither "🤦‍♀️

Madasaturtle , Katerina Holmes Report

Final score:

137points

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30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women I had a girl literally just explicitly say she liked me and wanted to date and I assumed she was joking. She was not.

boparoy485 , August de Richelieu Report

Final score:

109points

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30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women "Hey, wanted to ask if you are free this weekend?. We can make some pasta and tiramisu together. I'll bring the ingredients".

"Thanks for the offer, I plan on sleeping all day this weekend" 🤦‍♂️

She was an exchange student from Italy.

druranus , Anastasia Shuraeva Report

Final score:

107points

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30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women I had a girl in university ask if I was single. When I said yes, she asked if I wanted or was looking for a girlfriend and I said yeah I suppose so, and she came back with, 'Yeah, being single is tough, would be nice to just have someone to go on dates with.' I, in all my glory and skills with the ladies, came back with 'yup, sure would be!' And walked into class before her.

mfkterrence , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

107points

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Brendan (banned for downvotes) 1 year ago (edited)

This guy obviously wasn't into her, so why would he ask her out on a date?

12points

Rain Anderson 1 year ago

Did u read the post's title?

7points

Load More Replies...

Glen Moore 1 year ago

Cuz he was a high school loser, never made it with a lady ...

-1point

SCP 4666 1 year ago

Or he likes boys more than girls

-3points

Agamemnon O'Neill 1 year ago

As the girl in this situation, I would be so mortified I'd never drop a hint again for fear of my ego being shattered altogether.

7points

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

Those aren't hints so much as she said the quiet part out loud and you still missed it. yeeeesh.

4points

Erica Cochrane 1 year ago

i tried something similar on a guy from uni. first i made tons of hints about how i would prefer the guy asked me out, but i wasn't adverse to doing the asking. brought the conversations round to dating several times over a few months. then finally i asked him if he wanted to have dinner. so we went for dinner, it was a nice time, nothing happened. the next day at uni, he mentions his girlfriend who he had never mentioned before (i knew who she was, she'd been his friend, and they'd been together a few months at that point). turns out the dude was COMPLETELY oblivious to the fact that i'd asked him out on a date. i dont think it even occured to him it was a date. i was so upset! if i'd known he had a girlfriend, i'd never have asked him out! but in a way i'm glad he didn't realise it was a date, as he was never the type to cheat.

3points

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30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women I was snapchatting a girl from my high school when there was a pause in her response, then she sent me a post shower selfie with her arm just barely covering her tits with the caption “come play zombies” and my dumb**s goes: “Do you have xbox live?” “No” “Then how will we play?” “Idk” Her shirt was back on after that. It’s been 10 years and i’m still kicking myself.

Comeonjeffrey0193 , Andrea Piacquadio Report

Final score:

98points

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#10

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women My brother was once driving a girl home when she said she thought he had a flat tire. She insisted they pull over and check. She directed him onto a narrow road surrounded by trees. He got out, checked it out and said it was fine. He was about to put the car in gear when she said "as long as we're here, let's just hang out a bit." **He asked what she wanted to do. She said "I'm sure you'll think of something" and put her hand on his stomach. He chuckled and said "that tickles"...before removing her hand and adding "come over to my house, you can check out my Xbox!"** Then he put the car in gear and drove home. Anyway, he finally figured it out that same night, when he told me she was "acting funny" and I clued him in. The next day he found her, first thing in the morning, and said "let me give you a ride home, I thought of something for us to do." Not the smoothest line, but it got the job done.

_eviehalboro , https://www.pexels.com/photo/young-diverse-couple-relaxing-after-unpacking-car-while-moving-home-4246265/ Report

Final score:

90points

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#11

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women Went on a short road trip with a girl from work. When booking hotels for the stay, she said "Let's book a single room with separate beds; it'll save us money". I thought that was a good idea and went ahead. That evening when we went to bed, I was showing her a YouTube video on my phone and she went "Make yourself comfy! Why are you sitting on the edge of the bed?", and raised the comforter - indicating that I ought to slide in next to her in her bed (which I did). When we were chit chatting, I reached out for a bottle of water that was on a table across from her and accidentally brushed her bra strap with my elbow. I apologized and took a gulp of water. She asked "Is my bra in the way?". I said "Nah, I managed to get the bottle, don't worry about it!". One day after the road trip ended, it hit me. And yes, I know I'm an absolute dumb**s.

haajisquickvanish , Pixabay Report

Final score:

86points

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#12

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women In high school, I caught a wickedly beautiful classmate sitting at my desk. When she looked up and saw me, she turned bright red and looked extremely embarrassed. Hours later, I realized that someone had written a love note directly on the cover of my notebook. . . And all I thought was “huh, that’s weird”.

To this day, I think of how stupid I was at 16

InformalManager3359 , https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-reading-book-inside-a-classroom-8419496/ Report

Final score:

85points

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#13

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women A girl I had a crush on sat on my lap because she had white shorts on and didn't want grass stains. She then sighed and said she wished someone would ask her to prom. I assured her that someone would. And it never occurred to me that I had a shot. Years later she punched me for being so oblivious.

enigmaunbound , https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-smiling-woman-sitting-on-the-man-s-lap-5933273/ Report

Final score:

84points

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#14

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women We were seeing a movie together and she said she was cold. I said "yeah it's pretty chilly" and did nothing. Later she said it again, pretty obvious what she wanted. I proceeded to give her my jacket to put around her.

I'm a practical man.

hixika8431 , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

82points

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#15

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women My first weekend of college a girl asked me if I wanted to wrestle her in my dorm. I wrestled her in my dorm. Nothing more.

Jdw5186 , Tima Miroshnichenko Report

Final score:

77points

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#16

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women I either missed them all, or there weren't any to miss to begin with.

Qimmosabe_Man , Mental Health America (MHA) Report

Final score:

71points

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#17

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women A year after high school, a girl I'd been crushing on for over a year and knew through mutual friends invited me over her (parents') place to...watch Smallville?...and at one point said her a*s was kinda sore and needed a massage. Proceeded to roll over in her skimpy volleyball shorts and look at me. I nervously gave her like the most clinical and non-sexy butt massage you could imagine. I was nervous and didn't want to seem desperate because this girl was out of this world gorgeous and I just felt very average. She just felt way out of my league and I always thought we were "just friends." To make things worse, that same night, a little later, this one girl from work who had a crush on me called me and I was awkwardly chatting with her trying to end the convo, and girl I was crushing on came in and jumped on my lap and started smiling, laughing, and grinding, knowing it'd make it more awkward for me. Just thought she was being playfully annoying and didn't imagine she might actually like me. Watched Smallville and went home.

A year before this, she asked me to her prom (she went to a different school). And a year or two AFTER all this, she was visiting me and my sister (she was a mutual friend to us both) after we moved to a different state. She stayed over at my place and one evening said that she always had the biggest crush on me and doesn't know why I never reciprocated her advances. She then got up, looked over at me, and walked into her bedroom. I just...assumed she was tired and going to bed. I missed every single opportunity that could ever opportune on God's green earth.

indiana_josh , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

71points

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#18

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women Drove every week from Pennsylvania to Chicago to see a girl I had a crush on. Still lived with her parents, so I never stayed the night.

She always was flirty, but 'then-me' was oblivious. When I stayed later than usual one night, and I yawned, she said, 'You should just stay the night and we can get a hotel room.'

I said, 'Nah, I'm good to drive, I'll make it.' She said, 'No, don't be silly. We can hang out tonight.
I was in the middle of Ohio when I realized what she meant.

mapom66490 , Katerina Holmes Report

Final score:

68points

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#19

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women This was back in high school. I was super shy. I had been crushing hard on this girl since freshman year and everybody knew it. She had thrown hints at me forever and I never acted. I was insanely good at math.

So one day as I'm coming out of class she stops me and says that she heard that I'm some kind of math genius and asked me to tutor her. I asked her what she's going to pay me. She says very suggestively "oh don't worry, you'll be well rewarded".

My stupid a*s responds, no I need actual numbers to know if it's worth my time smh. I was so dumb lol.

threat024 , Jeswin Thomas Report

Final score:

65points

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#20

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women Back when I was a teenager…

I was with a girl, in her bedroom, alone late at night. She was lying on the bed looking at me, telling me how handsome I was and how much she liked my eyes.

I said thank you, and that it was late, and that I should get going. To this day I cannot explain my actions because this girl was absolutely gorgeous and I had crushed on her for years. She was my friends younger sister. I think my brain just short-circuited and refused to believe that she was telling me the truth, and I was so nervous that I had no idea what to do. It hurts to think about.

tenaciousDaniel , Alex Green Report

Final score:

57points

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#21

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women A girl legitimately said to me "take me home" as we parted ways.

I thought she was joking.

Judging by the fact we had just finished kissing eachother (passionately) only a few minutes beforehand I think it's safe to say she wasn't.

#brainonairplanemode

anon , Jonathan Borba Report

Final score:

57points

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#22

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women Met 2 girls at the club and we hit it off. After like 30min one of em says “wanna come with us to the car? We need to change?” What I said?! “Nah you guys look good.”

Didn’t know anything was amiss until like 3mo later. I shot upright outta bed and realized my mistake.

disphugginflip , Edoardo Tommasini Report

Final score:

56points

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#23

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women "'You know I'm single right?'

'Yeah, me too.'"

boparoy485 , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

54points

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#24

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women After a photo session with a close friend, she said I can stay the night when I said I'm tired.
I obliged, thinking it's just a nice offer.

During the night I woke up slightly because she had grabbed my hand, put it on her hip and pressed her butt against me.
I was still groggy and didn't think much of it and went back to sleep.

In the morning she turned around to face me, got her face so close her nose was touching mine... And again, I went back to sleep.

krtshv , anait film Report

Final score:

51points

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#25

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women Had a friend at University who was a best friend, except that I was too dumb to see that I was more than a friend to her.
She was smart, beautiful, funny, very patient and we gelled straight away.

We always went to parties together, spent the evening with different people circulating, had different partners over the years, but she would always insist I saw her home safely and of course I just kept on missing those obvious signs.
Roll on three years and everyone is going their different ways and we go out for one last night for a drink, have a great time and I see her home as usual except this time she doesn't hold back and basically drags me into her bedroom.

Honestly I was so shocked, so dumbfounded that my 'best friend' who happened to be female fancied the a*s off me that it totally wrong footed me and we literally couldn't do anything apart from collapse into a fit of giggles and fall asleep in each others arms.

I never saw her again but every now and then I think back to that time and wonder what if I wasn't such a dumb-a*s, would it have failed, would it have been amazing and life happy ever after?

Who knows apart from in an alternative universe.

Common-Ad6470 , Polina Tankilevitch Report

Final score:

50points

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#26

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women Dropping her off at her house after a joint college project

"My roommates and I have a wager over who can get laid first."

Awkward pause.

"Well, good luck with that I hope you win" *drives away.

BoardGames277 , MART PRODUCTION Report

Final score:

50points

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#27

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women In class, a girl asked if we could study together for a minor quiz at her place.

A friend overhears and asks if he can join us, I say yes immediately before she can say anything.

She sends us her address and a time. I show up and she answers the door in a bikini. Nobody else at her place. She says she was sunbathing and asks me into her room while she changes. I look away to be polite and then make small talk once she's done.
My friend shows up 30 minutes later, turns out she told him that the study group started 30 minutes after what she told me.

Sigh...

mapom66490 , Mikhail Nilov Report

Final score:

49points

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#28

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women Woman I'd been friends with for a year or two, "I bet you have a beautiful c**k ;)"

Me: "It's alright, keeps me entertained, lol." Then I asked a question about Chinese food.

Couple months after we lost contact, "Ohh... OH... damn"

Xenovitz , https://www.pexels.com/photo/man-eating-noodles-7594054/ Report

Final score:

47points

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#29

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women Woman: "Would you want to go for a coffee.... At MY place... (at 2 am after a party)"....

Yeah still hate myself for it.

TheKinkyGuy , PNW Production Report

Final score:

42points

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#30

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women I have very flexible joints. As a result, I was well known for doing tricks with my hands during my early uni days. Things like bending my fingers backwards to touch the back of my hand, touching my arm with my thumb, bending fingers into a Z shape etc.

I was at a party with classmates and this girl I vaguely knew asked me for a private demonstration of my hands. I was slightly buzzed at the time so I said sure and took her to the kitchen while she giggled. I started doing my usual tricks but I quickly noticed something was wrong because she got this disappointed look on her face. She mumbled something akin to "ok cool" and left the party claiming she was tired, leaving me confused for the rest of the night.

It took me 3 days of sobering up before I realized I had f****d up and by the time I saw her again it was too awkward to talk about.

Ralath1n , RDNE Stock project Report

Final score:

33points

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#31

Girl I fancied had messaged me saying, 'I can tell you work out, maybe you could come over and give me a workout, bet we could work up a sweat together.'

I messaged her back explaining that I wasn't a personal trainer.

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Final score:

21points

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#32

I worked as a bouncer 25ish years ago. One evening a slightly older and extremely attractive lady came back to the club and said that her car would not start. Eventually after chatting for about 15 minutes and just before closing I offered her a ride, out of sheer politeness and because I saw her tip bartenders really really well. When we got to her house she asked if I would like to get some water. I said okay and went into her house. After the glass of water she asked if I would not mind unbuttoning the top hook on the back of her blouse because she couldn't reach it. I did. Then I said thank you very much, have a good evening... and left.

Never saw her again even though she was a fairly consistent customer until that evening.

It clicked only years later when a date asked me to help with the top hook on the back of her blouse. I must have stood there for solid minute with an absolutely idiotic look on my face because she kept asking me what's wrong what's wrong what's wrong.

simple123mind Report

Final score:

20points

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#33

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women She "forgot" a scrap of paper at my place and *had* to come and get it.
I realised it was odd that she scrumped up the super important bit of paper, before I realised she was hitting on me.

worldworn , cottonbro studio Report

Final score:

19points

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#34

This girl asked me if i was single to which i said yes i am,she then said that she is single as well Guess what my dumb**s said ? “Woww we should start a single’s club”

Queasy-Peace3885 Report

Final score:

19points

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#35

30 Hilariously Relatable Stories Of Men Missing Obvious Hints From Women When I worked at an electronics store, a girl asked me for game recommendations, for the switch in general and specifically multiplayer games. I showed her the best off of the console, she picked out a single player game that she liked and we talked about it for a while. She then asked me if I live around here. I said yes. She asked if I’d like to play together sometime… I said well that’s not really a multiplayer game. Then another customer had a question so the conversation broke off. The girl quickly left but did not buy the game. I’m still thinking about this interaction every now and then

Xello_99 , Imthiyaz Syed Report

Final score:

19points

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#36

In my junior year of high school I was a teachers assistant for a 12th grade AP English course, and sat near this gorgeous, smart, and really nice girl. We talked a lot and I liked her but always just thought she was way out of my league.

About a week after our prom that year I was telling the teacher about how crappy it was because my date kinda ditched me. He said "well why didn't you ask ____?" When I told him how I never considered it he laughed at me and was like "Man, you've been missing a lot of easy signals. Don't worry, you'll get there."

Apparently being oblivious was my strong suit.

Edit: Probably should have added that she graduated shortly after and I never had the chance to ask her out, etc.

Cinner21 Report

Final score:

18points

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#37

"I'm a virgin"

"Aw I'd sleep with you"

"Aw thanks"

entpthrowawayballs Report

Final score:

18points

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#38

Biggest one was when she asked me where a pub is on a new years eve and told me 3 times that she doesn't understand when I directed her straight down the street.. only after she left I realized that she wanted me to come with her - at least I ain't the only idiot

AmusingRope91 Report

Final score:

17points

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#39

In college, my roommate’s gf was in town and I mentioned to a girl how I was going to have to leave the room. She tells me “my roommate is staying at a friend’s, you can stay with me.”

I take her up on it. We get there and I go to sleep in the roommates bed. She asks what I’m doing and motions for me to get in her bed. I join her and proceed to talk about everything and anything until 5am when I say “welp, they’re probably asleep maybe I should go back to my room.” And I left.

I realized the next day when she asked my roommate if I was weird

HamsterLarge4652 Report

Final score:

17points

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#40

A lifetime ago in high school, the extremely cute exchange student from Spain sort of cornered me and started asking questions about an upcoming school dance. What is it like? Is it fun? Are you going with anyone?

Ynez, if you're out there, I'm sorry. I'm a dope.

bepiti5170 Report

Final score:

17points

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#41

Everyday I trained her at a computer she would press her Double D boobs into me. I always thought it was accidental and didn't think anything of it. It wasn't until a long time later that we hung out outside of work, had some drinks and I learned she was trying to throw me multiple bones. I have 0 game and remain oblivious to others flirting with me.

HairyChest69 Report

Final score:

15points

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#42

Literally telling me which hotel she was staying at alone, where she was going to drink the bottle of wine I’d recommended to her, alone. In the hotel she’d specified, named and geolocated after asking me where a girl visiting town alone might go for a night out. I was out of the supermarket and half way home with my shopping when I stopped, frowned and thought “hang on a minute!”

Pond-James-Pond Report

Final score:

14points

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#43

This was back in college. Went to a talent show with a girl had a great time. We stop by a bar for a quick drink. It was a little past midnight. I walked her back to her apt she asked me "would you like to check out my place and have coffee" and I said "I am not a big fan of coffee. This was fun night, let do it again"

As George Costanza said "Coffee is not coffee. Coffee is sex"

nel_wo Report

Final score:

13points

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#44

Not sure what I missed, but when leaving to go to bed at a staff conference, the lady next to me stood up and shouted, "I have been chatting to you all night, the least you could do is take me back to your room". Everyone heard it and she had magically disappeared from the course the next day. I am autistic and have been married for over ten yrs, so it was very unexpected - i figured she was just being super friendly😂

boofing_evangelist Report

Final score:

13points

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#45

Attractive female friend: “Do you feel like you need to be in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship with a girl to have sex with them or are you open to a no strings attached relationship?”

(Truthfully) “Honestly, I think I’m wired to be in a relationship. I have a hard time not forming feelings once I get intimate.”

*Months later on a sleepless night in the midst of a long dry spell*

“Wait…..SONUVA-!!!!”

VagusNC Report

Final score:

13points

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#46

Took two gorgeous girls to my house back in college. I was cooking dinner, a nice pot roast. We were sitting on the couch, a girl on either side.

One of the girls said "hey let's have a threesome!" I laughed and said, ok you two get started and I'll go check on the food.

We ate and went back to the dorms. I thought it was a joke.

The_Deku_Nut Report

Final score:

13points

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#47

I (M) was 14 years old at school.
My secret crush looked over at me. When our eyes met, she looked down at herself, pulled her jeans down a bit and showed me her red thong.
Unfortunately, I was already severely depressed at that time. My only thought was "Look at what virtually anyone could have except you, you absolute zero!".
I looked away and she understood this as disinterest.
I understood what happened a good 10 years later and have hated myself for it ever since.

LordBrandoza Report

Final score:

13points

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#48

A girl wrote a poem about me, said "Joe said he thinks this poem is about you, what do you think?" And then had me read it. The poem described me exactly and said about wanting to be with the person the poem was referring to and all that, and I still assumed since she was out of my league that the poem wasn't about me.

hixika8431 Report

Final score:

12points

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#49

I was on a night out with a group of college friends and we ended up meeting more people from our college whilst out at a club. We formed into one big group and I was introduced to a few new people who were friends of friends. One girl approached me and told me she had asked about me and found out we had the same name. I was kinda drunk and said something along the lines of “aw no way that’s so cool” and she said “yeah, and lucky for you I really enjoy moaning my own name.” And I just kinda “… :)” I was asked the next day by a mutual why I rejected her and then I had the lightbulb moment

BlueJuice_ Report

Final score:

11points

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#50

Girl came over to mine in a very skimpy outfit. Thought she literally came over to hang out. When she was leaving she literally said "you could have told me to do anything you wanted and I would have done it"

Taking hints has never been my strong suit, thought about that f**k up for quite a while afterwards haha

NoTurkeyTWYJYFM Report

Final score:

11points

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#51

Didn’t miss it from a woman but it’s funnier this way.

I used to work at a bar running poker tournaments & would usually talk to a regular. He would occasionally say we should go out for drinks & I said yeah but we never made plans. He would touch me, comment on what I was wearing, etc., this went on for months. Then one day he brought one of the waitresses a cake for her birthday & I made a crack about him trying to pick her up. Her response, “Hank’s gay, don’t you know that?” Suddenly it all made sense.

thatmitchkid Report

Final score:

11points

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#52

I was 19 and good looking back in '86 and I'd always be going on about movies. There were scads of older woman this office and one was constantly finding me alone and telling me that she'd love to see Blue Velvet but had nobody to watch it with. I told her it was kind of erotic, but a good thriller. She came back a week later and said her husband was going to be away if I still had the tape.

I handed it over and told her to borrow it as long as she wanted.

The68Guns Report

Final score:

11points

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#53

Two that stick out:

1. High school, senior year, I get a text from two girls, they ask what I’m up to at 12am and if I want to come over. They need someone to come watch a movie with them and want it to be me. I just asked what movie and then said I’d already seen it.

2. See a girl from my anatomy class I’d just finished at a bar, she’s like “holy s**t, it’s you.” Starts talking to me about how hard the class is, asks if I failed as well, I say nope I killed it on the practicals. Says she needs someone to help her study anatomy, I was like, “For sure, I’ll help out. Let’s study sometime.” Moments later, she’s like, “I’ll even give you a blowjob when we study anatomy.” I was just like, “That’s awesome, haha.” Then I just said, “I’ll text you, I’ll help you pass, I’ve got to meet up with a buddy right now.” I forgot I never had her number lol

UncoolSlicedBread Report

Final score:

11points

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#54

One time in middle school this girl asked me if I wanted to skip class and make out. We went outside to make out then I was like, yo lets go back to class before we get in trouble

25 years later I still regret that day.

OMGIDGAF21 Report

Final score:

10points

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#55

When I was maybe 14, my childhood friend 15 who also lived in the same neighborhood as me, asked me to be her boyfriend, and immediately right after invited me to her house to watch harry potter. I'd already seen the movies so i ended up watching anime on her computer while she sat on the couch alone. I got bored eventually and went home.

xrieconx Report

Final score:

10points

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#56

Hanging out with a coworker at her apartment, each 19–20ish. Sitting on the couch side by side, she complained that her large breasts were a pain to deal with because of their size, followed by '...Do you want to touch them?'

I sort of half-juggled them (as though I was comparing the weight involved) and said, 'Hmm, nice.'

Not the only signal I missed that night, but probably my defining moment of obvious failure.

mapom66490 Report

Final score:

10points

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#57

She sat in front of me, wearing only undies, with her legs spread wide open, I didn't know what she wanted, I reached for ciggies and started smoking instead. This was back in 1999, nobody would believe this story if I told it offline so I am trying my luck on Reddit in 2023.

Tazui1982 Report

Final score:

9points

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#58

Well obviously I don't know, do I?

btstfn Report

Final score:

9points

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#59

A girl once held my hand and I just thought we were friends 💀

JustFinish520 Report

Final score:

8points

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#60

At my community college when she sat next to me she immediately started talking to me. Laughing and giggling and asked if we could study together. I totally didn’t pick up on the vibes

DrKevorkians_helper Report

Final score:

7points

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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I'm a visual editor here at Bored Panda and I enjoy a good laugh. My work ranges from serious topics related to toxic work environments and relationship difficulties to humorous articles about online shopping fails and introvert memes. When I'm not at my work desk, checking if every single pixel is in the right place, I usually spend my free time playing board games, taking pictures, and watching documentaries

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What do you think ?

POST

Amanda 1 year ago

Perhaps if we women were a bit more direct, that would help. For example: I'd like to go on a date with you, or would you give me a hug? Or even, I'd like to kiss you. Just a thought. But I'm old and on the asd spectrum so what do I know?

17points

Monday 1 year ago

That would in fact help....though on this list there is a case of a girl going "I like you , I want to go out with you" and the guy laughing it off because he thought she was joking....

15points

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Ample Aardvark 1 year ago

That comes with experience, as bold as we might be as teens/young women a rejection would really be blown out of proportion, specially because "men always wants sex" or fear we'd be tagged as being easy/s**t etc. At least that was the case in my circle of friends, but I'm also old, maybe things are different now

3points

Noname 1 year ago (edited)

Maybe, if we'd all put aside our insecurities and prejudices, we'd see that what we've been looking for is right in front of us.

2points

Linden 1 year ago

I'm a woman and that is what I did - but I'm autistic too. I have never understood flirting. It took me many years to realise some of the times people flirted with me. Worse sometimes I'm just talking to people and apparently it comes across as flirting which I was not intending. I read a lot of these wondering if some of the OPs might share our neurotype too because it's such a commonly shared experience in autistic community.

1point

XenoMurph 1 year ago

Id be petrified to "pick up on a signal". Guaranteed 2 weeks later there'd be an article on here detailing everything I'd misinterpreted and saying I was a terrible person for asking her on a date. It's just too complicated

0points

Super Beast 1 year ago

i dont get why people can't be direct. flirt culture is weird.

16points

Daria 1 year ago

Agreed.

3points

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James016 1 year ago (edited)

Even though I am married now, it's reassuring that I am/was in the good company of complete putzes like myself. Subtle hints don't work. Strong hints don't work. Actually hints just don't work. Also if Netflix was around when I was younger, I would have 100% taken "Netflix and chill" literally.

10points

Ladedah 1 year ago (edited)

Went on a group date to a horror movie with some friends. Everyone was paired up except for myself and this one guy... so, naturally, we sat next to each other. Mid movie, I decided I wanted to hold his hand... but didn't want to be the weirdo who grabs his hand, not knowing how he even felt about it. Waited for a scary scene, feigned a startled reaction and grabbed his hand. What did he do? Immediately pulled his hand away, thinking he was in my way. How do I know that's what he was thinking? Well, because we've now been together for 20 years and married for 17. Obviously, I gave him a few more hints 😁

4points

Noname 1 year ago

I liked this article because it shows men are just as vulnerable as women, and even more so because they have to deal with the stigma of being creepy when men don't really know when they're being given the green light to persue a woman or if the woman is going to call the police. I've known men who give off creepy vibes, but they're just really insecure and trying to act like what "men" should act like. They're not macho men, but are honestly, genuinely nice people with their own issues. I think a lot of women are attracted to this kind of guy, but that the guy needs to be honest with his partner about who he is, rather than what he thinks his partner wants. My marriages/relationships ended in divorce, but that doesn't mean i don't still have affection for them. It was what it was.

3points

Noname 1 year ago

Best date ever!! We met at a b-day party and had sat talking for a while before we exchanged phone numbers. He called me, we made a date for dinner and a movie. (we were late teens). He picks me up and his eyes go wide because I'm about 6 inches taller than him, in flat shoes. He's a gentleman, and we have a nice dinner, saw "Soulman", then he walks me to the door at my house. We have a kiss, but then he says, "I like uou, but..." and I "get" what he's being polite about. I'm all "it's the hight difference, right?" and he's all "yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't notice how tall you were when we met.." I wasn't offended. 20 years later I had the best romantic relationship with a guy who just cleared my shoulders-he even bought me a t-shirt that said "you must be this tall to ride", and he was just an inch taller than the line. I think too many people make a big deal out of little things that, if you could get past your insecurities, you'd find the right person for you in front of you.

3points

g90814 1 year ago

Oh to be so awkward. Instead, being gay and growing up in a rural area in the 70s, so none of that for me.

3points

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

I've spent a lot of time in very traditional settings, even after I left home. In college, I cringe at how many girls I found out liked me waaaay past when I should have. They were waiting for me to make the move, and I never did, so they moved on. Happened multiple times. I was so low on myself that I never thought in a million years someone I was attracted to could possibly like me back. Thankfully, my wife was a single mom who didn't have time to mess around, so she just went for it and asked me if I liked her since we'd been flirting for a few months.

3points

Rizzo 1 year ago

I made the mistake to answer to the old "Wanna come up for a coffee?" question with "I don't drink coffee." ... and YES - I am somtimes a bit stupid. ;)

3points

censorshipsucks 1 year ago

I had this one but said "I'd love to but it would feel too easy for it to become inappropriate so I Can't". Yes, she was inviting me for that, as she told me a few days later.

2points

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Noname 1 year ago

As I've commented before, there's a connection or there isn't. If it's just about sex, take your chances, but I think it's really great when men don't "get" the suggestion for a one nighter. You think you're missing out on what? - uncommitted consensual sex? Is that what you're all about? I think men are more than sex machines. Prove me right.

0points

Brendan (banned for downvotes) 1 year ago

I'm a tea drinker, so I'd probably give the same response lol.

0points

Stannous Flouride 1 year ago

As I said as a comment above, most of these show clearly the difference between the usual twatwaffles we see on here who wonder why women don't like "nice guys like me" and men who are actually nice men who respect women. (I blame their moms for such behavior) ;-)

2points

Richienotsorich 1 year ago

Just looks like a load of young women who can't verbalise what they want in life and a load of gentlemen who didn't try to take advantage of them.

2points

Lori w 1 year ago

As a woman, I have missed signs too. This one guy in college would put his arm around me. Told me I looked nice. We hung out a few times, never did anything. I realize now we could have been something, but I was very depressed and couldn't see this guy who was handsome, confidant, & was a college soccer player ever being into an ugly, introverted, couch potato like me. He was one of my only friends. But time moves on, I've moved on, I hope he's found someone great.

2points

censorshipsucks 1 year ago

urgh, mine was, Her: "I'm horny" (after a back rub). Me: "Oh ok well I need to get back to my desk now." No we weren't coworkers.

2points

Leo Domitrix 1 year ago

Coming at it from the other side: I was dating my hubby (then "just a good friend") for 3 weeks before I realized, "Oh sh*t, we're dating?" Yeah. Me clueless.

2points

Brendan (banned for downvotes) 1 year ago

Women, if you're interested in a guy, tell him. If you want a kiss, make the move. Why the hints?

2points

Monday 1 year ago

Hints are fun. They add a playful twist to things that isn't there when you're direct. That being said, relying on hints is no good either. If you can see the person you're flirting with isn't getting the hint you take the more direct approach.

4points

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Steven 1 year ago

It seems that many of us guys take a long time to develop our social-emotional smarts.

1point

cartoon ghosts 1 year ago

Most of these seem very not romantic/sexual to me, like I'd never assume. It might occur to me but I wouldn't want to come off as a creep, if someone is interested in me they should just say that in a direct way

1point

pp horrendous 1 year ago

i wonder if some of these guys might be autistic. sometimes its harder to pick up on social cues

1point

Bored Retsuko 1 year ago

Gender stereotypes ftw:-/ apparently I'm a man.

1point

Gavin Johnson 1 year ago

Spent a weekend at a music festival with a very pleasant woman, we were friends, I was a gentleman all weekend, she’s a lovely person but I saw no signs that she wanted to be anything more than friends and that was fine, slept in the car overnight together (both of us very drunk, warm nights, not too uncomfortable), drove home after three very enjoyable days. All good. I invite her in for a brew when she drops me off at home, she comes in for a brew, we drink it, she leaves looking confused. I was confused. Took me a while…… I need a neon sign ok? I can’t read signals. She’s still a mate and I’m glad of that, we a little older now (30 years older!) and we can both look back and laugh at our ships passing each other in the night 😂

1point

Thenatural 1 year ago

When I was about 18 a girl I liked used to pick me up from my parents house and we'd drive to the beach and smoke weed..one day she turned to me,looked me dead in the eye,smiled and said.." I've started taking the pill but haven't had the chance to see if it works yet" ..my response...."oh...pass me the rizlas.."

1point

Noname 1 year ago

Dude, you either feel the connection or you don't.

0points

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gilded panda 1 year ago

normally, this post would be funny. but this actually happened to me. i was in high school and this girl gave me a pencil topper from one of my favorite movies (star wars) and i put it on my pencil. one grade later when she stopped having a crush i realized.

0points

Linouchka 1 year ago

I stopped reading at #17 because I hate that men are expected to decipher women's mindgames and I wonder why women can't say what they mean and mean what they say. And I hate that men get laughed at when they simply believe what is said. Ffs, there is no shame in telling a guy you like him and you would like to go on a date with him sometime. Not one embarrassing word, all clean, and if it doesn't work out at least you tried !

0points

whineygingercat 1 year ago

While hanging out at my boyfriend's - now hubby's - apartment, we were listening to a Playlist on my ipod. Kiss The Girl played TWICE. He fumbled the play. TWICE

0points

Lord Voldedork 1 year ago

A boy in 6th grade (12 years) bought a condom. When we were in a camp. He was such a pervert.

0points

Falcon on Dizzy 1 year ago

I'm lucky, my S/O all of a sudden became like my bsf one day then let it slip that they fell for someone, eventually was able to get them to confess who it was and I became the luckiest man on the planet

0points

Camilla Koutsos 1 year ago

Just tell it like it is, girls.

0points

Colin 1 year ago

Waiting outside for my mum to finish work and a girl I knew at the college came walking past and asked what I was doing. Told her sitting here waiting for my mum to finish work at 4.30 (currently 3.30). She assured it I wanted to go back to her place and wait. My dumb a*s went "I better stay here just in case".

0points

$copper-fractions avatar$

Tiny Dynamine 1 year ago

I think that essentially, us guys have been programmed into thinking we'd better not try anything in case we're arrested for sexual harrassment in the next ten minutes.

0points

Isaac Harvey 1 year ago

As a male, I will say that I'm not the best at catching on to hints. I generally prefer to view things objectively, and I think I overthink a 'bit' too much.

0points

Captain Awesome 1 year ago

Looking back I missed so many hints and clues along the way. Hell I wouldn't even be with my wife if she didn't ask me to a dance. Captain Oblivious I was

0points

kansasmagic 1 year ago

Half of these are like "When I was in high school, the hottest girl in my class took off all her clothes and said "let's get it on!", and I thought she meant she wanted to play Xbox, LOL so dumb. Thirty years later and this is my only positive memory."

0points

R Dennis 1 year ago

I felt a lot of these. I had such low self-esteem that I totally missed all of them... Thankfully, my wife is relatively assertive!

0points

Daria 1 year ago

To be honest I was just as dumb with guys because I thought who in their right mind would seriously hit on me 🙈

0points

SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago (edited)

Yeah, I can concur with us men having zero clues. I once had a cute college mate who was always looking to sit beside me in almost all our classes and would often get me to help her study despite myself probably being much worse in some of the subjects than her. I figured she was being friendly after I gave her a bottle of branded moisturizer I had won (spontaneous pop-quiz thing by the brand organizers at our college where I was fortunately fast enough to raise my hand) so I thought absolutely nothing of it. I think the biggest clue I missed was driving her home and she put her hand on mine while I was shifting gears and said "I'd like to be able to get behind the wheel and this gearbox one day". Well guess what? My seriously dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb *ss said "Oh no worries, I'm sure one day you'll be good at it" and took my hand off the shift and instead held the steering wheel with both hands. I did drive her back a few more times after but that scenario never happened again.

0points

SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago

After graduation, I finally realized two things: 1) She was actually flirting because she would most likely never drive unless necessary (car accident phobia she told me about) 2) I am dumber than a bag of hammers when trying to play the flirting game. Seriously, my bad. My big time bad!!!

0points

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Brainmas 1 year ago

Stop offering coffee, just say you want to bang already! Sometimes guys will think you are joking apparently, so be very clear.

-1point

Rodney McKay 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

POST

Amanda 1 year ago

17points

Monday 1 year ago

That would in fact help....though on this list there is a case of a girl going "I like you , I want to go out with you" and the guy laughing it off because he thought she was joking....

15points

Load More Replies...

Ample Aardvark 1 year ago

3points

Noname 1 year ago (edited)

Maybe, if we'd all put aside our insecurities and prejudices, we'd see that what we've been looking for is right in front of us.

2points

Linden 1 year ago

1point

XenoMurph 1 year ago

0points

Super Beast 1 year ago

i dont get why people can't be direct. flirt culture is weird.

16points

Daria 1 year ago

Agreed.

3points

Load More Replies...

James016 1 year ago (edited)

10points

Ladedah 1 year ago (edited)

4points

Noname 1 year ago

3points

Noname 1 year ago

3points

g90814 1 year ago

Oh to be so awkward. Instead, being gay and growing up in a rural area in the 70s, so none of that for me.

3points

ConstantlyJon 1 year ago

3points

Rizzo 1 year ago

I made the mistake to answer to the old "Wanna come up for a coffee?" question with "I don't drink coffee." ... and YES - I am somtimes a bit stupid. ;)

3points

censorshipsucks 1 year ago

I had this one but said "I'd love to but it would feel too easy for it to become inappropriate so I Can't". Yes, she was inviting me for that, as she told me a few days later.

2points

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Noname 1 year ago

0points

Brendan (banned for downvotes) 1 year ago

I'm a tea drinker, so I'd probably give the same response lol.

0points

Stannous Flouride 1 year ago

2points

Richienotsorich 1 year ago

Just looks like a load of young women who can't verbalise what they want in life and a load of gentlemen who didn't try to take advantage of them.

2points

Lori w 1 year ago

2points

censorshipsucks 1 year ago

urgh, mine was, Her: "I'm horny" (after a back rub). Me: "Oh ok well I need to get back to my desk now." No we weren't coworkers.

2points

Leo Domitrix 1 year ago

Coming at it from the other side: I was dating my hubby (then "just a good friend") for 3 weeks before I realized, "Oh sh*t, we're dating?" Yeah. Me clueless.

2points

Brendan (banned for downvotes) 1 year ago

Women, if you're interested in a guy, tell him. If you want a kiss, make the move. Why the hints?

2points

Monday 1 year ago

4points

Load More Replies...

Steven 1 year ago

It seems that many of us guys take a long time to develop our social-emotional smarts.

1point

cartoon ghosts 1 year ago

1point

pp horrendous 1 year ago

i wonder if some of these guys might be autistic. sometimes its harder to pick up on social cues

1point

Bored Retsuko 1 year ago

Gender stereotypes ftw:-/ apparently I'm a man.

1point

Gavin Johnson 1 year ago

1point

Thenatural 1 year ago

1point

Noname 1 year ago

Dude, you either feel the connection or you don't.

0points

Load More Replies...

gilded panda 1 year ago

0points

Linouchka 1 year ago

0points

whineygingercat 1 year ago

While hanging out at my boyfriend's - now hubby's - apartment, we were listening to a Playlist on my ipod. Kiss The Girl played TWICE. He fumbled the play. TWICE

0points

Lord Voldedork 1 year ago

A boy in 6th grade (12 years) bought a condom. When we were in a camp. He was such a pervert.

0points

Falcon on Dizzy 1 year ago

0points

Camilla Koutsos 1 year ago

Just tell it like it is, girls.

0points

Colin 1 year ago

0points

$copper-fractions avatar$

Tiny Dynamine 1 year ago

I think that essentially, us guys have been programmed into thinking we'd better not try anything in case we're arrested for sexual harrassment in the next ten minutes.

0points

Isaac Harvey 1 year ago

As a male, I will say that I'm not the best at catching on to hints. I generally prefer to view things objectively, and I think I overthink a 'bit' too much.

0points

Captain Awesome 1 year ago

Looking back I missed so many hints and clues along the way. Hell I wouldn't even be with my wife if she didn't ask me to a dance. Captain Oblivious I was

0points

kansasmagic 1 year ago

0points

R Dennis 1 year ago

I felt a lot of these. I had such low self-esteem that I totally missed all of them... Thankfully, my wife is relatively assertive!

0points

Daria 1 year ago

To be honest I was just as dumb with guys because I thought who in their right mind would seriously hit on me 🙈

0points

SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago (edited)

0points

SheamusFanFrom1987 1 year ago

0points

Load More Replies...

Brainmas 1 year ago

Stop offering coffee, just say you want to bang already! Sometimes guys will think you are joking apparently, so be very clear.

-1point

Rodney McKay 1 year ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

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