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When something good happens in your life, you want to share it with your friends, you confide in them when you are having a rough period in your life and you are there for their joys and troubles. Friends are necessary for people to be happy, but somehow we manage to call people our friends who don’t really care about us or hang around just because they know they can use us.

Somehow it is hard to tell when you’re the only one putting effort into the relationship and are not receiving anything for what you give. Every friendship is different, so you need to evaluate whether the friendship brings you more happiness or hurt to determine whether it is worth keeping in touch with that person.

Redditors shared their own stories of what happened between them and their friends that led them to realize their relationship wasn’t as strong as they thought. Even though it probably wasn’t easy, in the end, they certainly benefited from the breakup.

More info: Reddit | Reddit

#1

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends When my father passed NONE of my friends showed up to the funeral. It was an hour and a half away so when they made up excuses not to come I said I understood (I didn't).

Surprisingly two of my neighbors that I barely know showed up. I'm friend with them now.

quebecesti , VirtKitty Report

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Emerald Ocean
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow… those friends were the worst kind. They couldn’t even be there for you in one of the lowest points of your life. RIP your father

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#2

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends She was one of my best friends, I guess. She was a self-centered drunk, but had some good qualities. We were talking on the phone one day, and she rambled on and on about her stupid, lazy co-workers. Then I told her I was afraid I was starting to relapse (life-threatening illness I thought I was over). She sighed and said "....AND? What's that to ME?" She was bored and wanted to talk about herself. When I got off the phone I emailed her a "Dear Karen" letter, saying don't ever contact me again. She didn't, and I didn't either. And I wasn't relapsing after all, thank God.

[deleted] , Giuseppe Milo Report

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Nikki Sevven
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've lost more friends who have just, without a word, dropped out of my life because they couldn't handle the fact that I'm disabled. While it sucks not having close friends, it's better than wasting time on people who don't care about you.

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#3

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends I decided to throw a Super Bowl party a few years ago. I went out a bought a new grill and mounted a tv in the kitchen for people who wanted to hang out and snack while watching the game. Had tons of food and beer ready. 30 minutes before kickoff I got a text that the whole group decided to go to someone else’s house and that I should bring all my food and beer over there. Needles to say, I didn’t go, and I haven’t thrown a party at my house since.

LordAtchley , Roger Mommaerts Report

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Sweetpotato314
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow, that's so freaking rude! I hope OP dumped those friends and found some genuine ones.

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#4

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends Was a cop wife for twenty years. When you divorce you not only lose your cop family, you evidently lose your best friend who is married to a cop. I learned a valuable lesson. Friendships built on a common thread last only as long as that thread remains. Heartbreaking.

TrustMeIaLawyer , Jason O'Halloran Report

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mind yours
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this sucks of the "friend" and also don't marry a cop until after you google the rate of domestic violence in marriages to cops

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#5

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends Tried to invite them to an event I go to every year. Day of I go by myself and find out weeks later they went as a group without me.

naomiteabee , TLC Jonhson Report

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#6

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends My wife and I had a small wedding. I didn’t invite a ton of people but I invited 15 or so friends. Besides my best man, only one showed up. What’s worse is that all these people said they were coming. I no longer put effort towards those friendships.

EDIT: I’ve struggled with social anxiety my whole life. These “friends” were all people I met at work. I work at a big company and this was the first time I actually had friends. I wouldn’t call any of them super close but I thought they were at least close enough to come to my wedding as they always talked about coming and would comment saying that I better invite them. I worked on several different teams then and most of them didn’t know each other. I don’t think it was intentional. I just think I misinterpreted what true friends are. I was more of a casual friend to them than they were to me. I did wonder if I did something wrong and it made me feel pretty awful for a while, but as someone who didn’t have experience with friendships I think I just invited people who didn’t really value me as much as I value them.

I hope that makes sense. I definitely looked back at my behavior, and like I said, I wondered for the longest time if I had did something wrong, if it was my fault.

Smoky6593 , Robert Kintner Report

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Zophra
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have made this mistake of thinking a "work friend" is a closer friend then I am to them. Painful and a bit humiliating.

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#7

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends An easy answer for me.

One year I had a sleepover party with a bunch of childhood friends from the neighborhood as a teen. It was really fun and I invited 15 or so kids, had to convince my parents and spent a ton of money to make it perfect for everyone. We went swimming in the pool, played dodgeball, kickball, had tons of food, had a nerf gun war, played pool, played video games, and watched movies. It was a blast and everyone was clearly enjoying themselves.

Then they tried to watch a horror movie that my parents would [end] me if I saw it, and I objected for a while before reluctantly putting it on. I hated horror movies, too, but I wanted them to have fun. It was like 1 in the morning.

They got bored during the movie and asked if we could all go to the clubhouse (I lived in a gated community with a public clubhouse at the time) to meet up some girls in the middle of the night. I said that my parents would never let it happen and that I didn't want to get caught, so I told them we couldn't go. After that, about 5 of them left at like 2-3 am to go without me. They said they'd be "right back" and that "one of them needed their medicine so they went to get it." Within the hour, everyone was gone except me.

I was crushed, and too embarrassed to tell my parents, so I finally put on the movie *I* wanted to watch before going to sleep. In the morning my parents were furious because over a dozen kids that they had promised their parents would be at their house had disappeared without a traced. Sad and tired me had to call all of them to figure out where they were and let all of their parents know that they didn't spend the night. Even though my parents made me do it, a lot of them got mad at me for that. The worst part by far was figuring out that they had all went to a different kid's house to spend the night after leaving mine.

TheSpartanB345T , Shawn Campbell Report

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#8

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends I opened up to him about my mental health issues, and after a day or two he messaged me saying he couldn't have that kind of negativity in his life. This was literally the first and only time I told anyone about it.

[deleted] , neajjean Report

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Raven DeathShade
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I told a dude (over text) that I had severe mental health issues that can really affect my friendships. He thanked me for letting him know and told me that it's okay. That's how a good person reacts. Not all this nonsense.

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#9

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends He was physically and psychologically abusing to me for years. It took a long time for me to see that even though he was “joking” it was just flat out abuse.

Cleedmastadum , Melissa O'Donohue Report

#10

Best friend of nearly 10 years expected me to travel halfway across the world and take a month off from work to stay with her (and her boyfriend) so that we could go to Oktoberfest and maybe do other things. However, when the time came, she refused to make any concrete plans, but still insisted that I apply for a visa and book my tickets anyway. Note that at this stage she hadn’t even confirmed the dates and had not spoken to her boyfriend about the possibility of my staying there for a month. She never initiated the conversation and very rarely answered my texts/calls. At some point I called her out on it, demanded that she show some interest on her part considering how I would be making a significant financial investment if I had decided to go through with the plan. She told me she was busy and that she would call me back. She never did.

One day I simply had enough, blocked her on all social media and haven’t talked to her since. All relationships require effort. If people care, they will show you they care.

cheesecakeandchill Report

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Wendy Wiseman
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sounds like me traveling across the Atlantic to spend my birthday with my so-called BFF, and she ditched me to baby sit her kid & the kids friend and her bosses dogs to hang out with her new boyfriend and also wouldn't return my calls or texts on when she was returning but could check into FB in some bar or other.

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#11

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends When I was hanging out with my real friends and felt at ease and calm with them.

Made me realize that my other friends gave me anxiety.

dedeenxo Report

#12

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends My husband and I went on vacation with her and her husband. My husband and I did some gambling and won a decent amount of money. They did not gamble at all. When we got back I found out they had told everyone how much of a b***h I was because I had not offered to pay for their half of the vacation with my gambling winnings. When I confronted her she did not deny it. I didn’t want to be friends with someone that thought money played into our friendship or that talked like that behind my back.

amelia_egghart217 , Lisa Brewster Report

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KB
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A cousin of mine is quite lucky with his online bets and that. When he gets very lucky, he always gives my mum a few pound from his winnings. Kind of like a "share the wealth" or a "good lucks penny." He would give a few very close family members a little share, nothing major though. I know a few people who do that, only a few though! But thats about it lol nothing extravagant lol i personally would never expect a penny from someone else's winnings. Thats theirs and happy days for them i say 😁

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#13

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends Not me, but the kid who vandalized my house and car.

After someone threw eggs and rocks at my house, and finished with a rock through my windshield, I left the car parked next to the street with a big poster on it with "Reward for information" on it.

Within hours the kid's friends turned him in for $10 each.

mference123 , Peretz Partensky Report

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#14

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends They don't contact me at all unless I go out of my way to contact them first. They find any reason to not hang out. They claim we're good friends but it just feels like they just want to be able to say that I'm a friend without doing anything to *be* a friend

Nick31415926 , Hollywata Report

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Strawberry Pizza
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this isn't about the text post but what exactly does that photo have to do with this lol

yeeyee
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kind of hard to find a picture that portrays let down by people you considered friends. since cellphones are a large part of our communications I consider it appropriate. Now if there was a picture of let's say a sunrise than I would wonder.

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Indy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happened with my family. Every Christmas and birthday I'd call and send a present. I never got a call or present in return. I can't say it didn't hurt but I did it for years because I wanted to show I care. I completely caught them off 5 years ago when they didn't tell my favourite uncle died and they had a celebration party. I spend every Christmas alone but I spend the money on something I really want instead on them. Rather that than toxic family.

Rosie Hamilton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's awful, I am sorry. You are better off without them, but it doesn't stop it hurting.

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KB
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have a "best friend" just like this. We've been friends for 22 years. Haven't actually seen her in person in 2 years now though and we live in walking distance from one another which is sad really. Makes every excuse under the sun. We even have sons that are months apart in age and i always thought or imagined that they would grow up to be good friends too but again, every excuse has been made in the past 2 years to meet up or even get our boys together to play. An occasional text here and there for the past 2 years... I call her my pen pal now just 😔

Susanne B
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Maybe your friend have troubles, that she feel, that she cannot share with you, and that is why she is keeping away.

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TheEndIsNigh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel bad, because I am that person. 😔 I don't make an effort to reach out or hang out with people, and will ghost you in a heartbeat. It's...hard to explain. I have "tolerance" issues, and a limit to which I can socialize before being around or talking to people literally makes me want to peel the skin from my face. When I was actually working out in the world, I would come home and sit in a dark, silent house for hours and hours because of the sensory overload. I've lost a lot of friends because of this, unfortunately. 😕

Giobemo
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Similar. I feel awkward at family get togethers, and I have a hard time initiating contact with people I don't see every day. All my long distance friendships eventually peter out, and I know it's my fault. And it's sad because I used to feel *so* close to them, and they were such a big part of my life.

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Michael Sanders
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I left the last town I lived in on not the best terms. Details unnecessary but I parted with some “friends” but mostly acquaintances. But I had a super close and very loyal group of friends that stuck with me. I moved away to start fresh and for maybe the first month we texted back and forth and talked here and there. Since then not a peep unless I reach out. This was in 2018. I even went back there and sent a message to 5 people that I told were the most important for me to connect with months in advance. 1 showed. Being let down by existing friends only slightly beats out how hard it is to move to a completely new town on your own at 44 and trying to make new friends. But hey I’m still alive so yay!

Shelby Moonheart
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My college friend doesn't reach out to me either, even though we live close. I have to call her first. She says she was thinking of me but doesn't call or email.

Tami
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Possibly the friend has social anxiety. You know, afraid to reach out, might accept an offer to do something but then backs out. I have a friend like this and I'm not sure what to do. I'm nearly always the one to make contact. I notice she gets very nervous sometimes, and she's mentioned being on anxiety meds. One time we got together she said she was feeling very anxious and needed to go home. Last time we got together was last year, and we had a really nice time hanging out at a local coffee shop. When we parted she said, "Let's not make it so long between visits!" I haven't heard from her and am wondering if I should contact her again.

Rosie Hamilton
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You raise a good point. I must admit I'm someone who finds it very hard to push myself forward. It's the fear of rejection. I'd say reach out but that's because I'd want someone to do that for me. I'm over the moon when someone makes contact and makes me feel wanted and cared about - I make sure they know how much I value it though. So at least they know they are wanted!

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Tien Grooms
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup I had a "friend" and I always called her I even threw her a sweet sixteen party. I asked why she never called me she said cause she lost my number. She ALWAYS said she lost it. My number NEVER changed I finally

Lisa
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This sounds like me and my "friends". My husband and I used to throw a big Halloween party each year and always tried to go bigger and better each year. People always had a great time, but they never did anything to reciprocate the rest of the year. No invites to their houses for dinner, parties, movie nights, meeting for lunch or shopping...nothing. They MAYBE would comment on a FB post that wasn't party related. After looking at the effort and expense, we stopped bothering. I basically have no friends, but at least I was fortunate enough to marry my best friend.

Mmm K
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now this one I can relate to! It was always me giving, and them taking. Unreciprocared efforts in our friendships.

Heather Myers
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Happened to me with my family. Decided not to call or visit unless I heard from them first. They didnt call or come to my houses, ever, and i wondered what would happen if I just stopped reaching out. I didnt see them for 3 years, so my feelings were true. They just didnt want to bother.

Lucy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can relate & I even have siblings like that. I stopped making the effort & chose to enjoy life with or without them. I'm happier for it.

Phyzzi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just to put it out there... If your friend has ADHD, they may very much still want to be your friend but just not remember to contact you (especially not at a time you can talk). I'm not denying the friends who semi-ghost after a while, but just be aware that some of us aren't intentionally not reaching out, our brains just have those wires crossed.

Giobemo
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sometimes you're super close to someone because you're having a shared experience (like college) but then once you're out of that and have moved on to a different phase of your life, you find the connection really fades. And sometimes it really hurts to realize that and to remember what it used to be like and know that that will never come back. Sometimes people just change as they go through life. And sometimes you get someone who's SUPER KEEEEN to be your friend, and you're just not feeling it. And you don't want to be rude or make a scene or shoot them down outright, so you just don't reciprocate and hope they'll take the hint. And if people ask you if you're friends you say "Yea, sure" because, again, you don't want to hurt their feelings or embarrass them if they're telling people you are. And sometimes they'll confront you about it and ask what's going on, so you need to make a polite excuse, like you lost their number. And sometimes they keep asking, again and again and again...

Oros Vildheim
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is how it is for me too. If I don't put in the effort, mom will get pissed off that i/we didn't communicate

Tien Grooms
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yup I had a "friend" and I always called her I even threw her a sweet sixteen party. I asked why she never called me she said cause she lost my number. She ALWAYS said she lost it. My number NEVER changed I finally chalked it up as e Lost cause

Alex Foster
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one is more difficult. Not everyone is friends the same way. I try and make an effort to stay in contact with the people I care about but I can still go months without talking to my closest friends. It's just because none of us are the kind of people who need to check up on their friends or be social every single day. That's just one style of friendship. What matters is that everyone is on board with how the communication is going to work. I also have nasty ADHD and mean to message people but forget to until they message me first. That being said, the not hanging out is shitty.

Susanne B
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I may just be a grumpy old woman, but is this not exactly what critics feel about Facebook Friends? I mean, that those so called friends do nothing but click on Facebook, and are never ready or excepted to do anything else.

michael tasker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I dont reach out to anyone. Ever. If you text me, I'll respond (eventually) and we might have a brief exchange but I won't initiate. My wife keeps trying to set up 'play dates' for me and I usually blow them off. I don't want friends. I don't want to hear about your problems. I don't care about what you're working on and I don't want to tell you about what I'm working on. My wife has friends. She sees them 3-5X/wk, talks on the phone all day....it seems such a bother.

Sharon Dean
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have a similar experience with former neighbors, I'm living in the same area as ten yrs ago and keep bumping into old neighbors. The first thing they say is "we miss you", "we should get together". Like we are old buddies.........but we never, ever were. And no, nothing, no calls, no notes, nada!!!

C. T.
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have many friends that live in distant places, including some of the ones I feel closest to. I try to remember to phone them or email them regularly, but I have to push myself to send an out-of-the-blue email, and sometimes it takes years to build up the nerve. That's years in which I really was "meaning to write" because I really do miss hearing from them.

Catherine T
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is exactly what happened to me with my supposed best friend. I got to realize if I didn’t text her, nothing. So I tested it, took her 6 months! I was done with that.

Kylie Minou
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had those and figured it's my fault. I come from an abuse/neglect childhood situation and I think I don't chose the right people, so I make do with my own company and save me the humiliation of being shunned and treated as a last option

Colleen Rogers
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there done that and finally realized that I was not going to "beg" for their friendship anymore. It's been over 30 years since.

Ted Laudermilk
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get it I haven't had someone to call a friend since I was in jr high. I had people I talked to but no real friends. I wouldn't even know what to think if there were loyal people to trust and call friends anymore. I know they are out there but rare like the unicorn lol.

Jon White
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i had one like that id call weekly shot the shi s see how things are, id stop by with coffee stop by his place of work at lunch see how things going, id call when i needed things done he would be right there, but he would only call me if he needed boiler work done plumping at his family's or so on roofing elc never out of the blue or when he went to buy smokes. aug will be a year sense i last spoke to him friends over 30 years

Timothy Richards
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being honest, I'm one of those types of friends. I love my friends, more than most anything, but just the idea of leaving my house gives me anxiety. Takes a lot to get me to agree to hang out. Even to voice chat. Anxiety's a bastard.

Cathy Hurd
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had this person who I thought was a friend but she was always to busy with her work group (she's a psychologist) or her college crowd. I'm just a housewife, I guess I'm just not intelligent enough for her. I don't even bother anymore. Friends aren't worth my energy.

Marilyn Russell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let those relationships go dear one. The space will be filled with good people if you allow it to be.

serenyaa
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have a friend like this, she says we are "BFF" but then she never asks to hang out, she disappears for 2 weeks saying she had a lot to study, she never hangs out with our group because she is too busy, but then her friends post pictures with her hanging out all the time. It's very disrespectful and I honestly gave up on the friendship, if she wants to show some interest she knows what's my phone number

Nizumi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bingo. Those are now people I'm perfectly happy to see, but I won't break a sweat trying ot organize something with them. Now it's just "Hi! It's been 6 months. I'm going to such and such place for dinner, date, time. See ya!" And usually end up having dinner with the one friend who always shows up and we have a lovely time. The rest? Meh - see you at your next milestone birthday party.

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#15

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends When I realized that everything I did for them, they totally took for granted and advantage of most of the time. Like going out to eat I would usually pay because I used to make more then her but when she got a better job she still expected me to pay all the time. Nope

HonuCentric , Sebastiaan ter Burg Report

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Alexia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I had such a "friend". I offered her all the emotional support when her fiance dumped her. She literally used to cry in my arms. I patiently listened to all her complaints and venting about her ex. I joined her in vacations so that she wouldn't feel alone and miserable. 2 years after, she finds someone else and gets married. I happened to go through a difficult period then (I was hospitalized), but she didn't care to give me a call. I really needed to talk to someone but she was not interested and even snapped at me a few times. One night we both went out to a restaurant. The waiter casually asked her about me: "Is she your best friend?" to which she calmly replied "No, she's not my friend." I was dumbfounded. She later explained to me that I shouldn't be upset about what she said to the waiter, because she never had any real friends. To this day, she is still wondering "I don't have any friends, nobody wants to be my friend, I wonder why". :))))

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#16

She sided with her boyfriend when I told her he had made jokes about sexual assault which made me uncomfortable, eventually accused me of lying even though she was there when he made them

spiderrach Report

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#17

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends I used to go out for dinner with some college friends.

Unlike me, they'd order multiple "call" drinks and *the most expensive* things on the menu.

Then, when the huge bill arrived, they'd say, "Let's just keep it simple and divide it equally." The guys knew I was paying double or triple what I should have, but that didn't seem to bother them.

Back2Bach , Randy Greve Report

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James G. Currie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Instant reply..."how about we keep it fair, and each pay for their own?" Or, when they inform the server of this, let him or her know that I will be paying for *my* meal and drinks only.

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#18

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends when i decided not to be the friend who always organised things and started conversations. i get no contact on the weekends and during the week, i noticed that if i kept quiet in a conversation, they wouldn't even notice i was there

s0fia_4 , 1Day Review Report

#19

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends With friends on a trip to Japan, drinking one night in Roppongi district. I'm trying to taper off, Karen (no, really, it was her name) keeps putting drinks in front of me, paying the bartender for weird shots for me, but not for anyone else in the group. She's saying really catty s**t, but laughing like it's all good fun, we're pals. She starts saying some pointed stuff that makes me think she's been holding on to some really ugly resentment for awhile. After I'm good and sloshed, she pushes me over to my partner and tells him to grab a taxi and take me back. On the way back to the hotel I look at my partner and say, "I didn't realize until now that Karen hates me." He replied, "She sure seems to." Neither the trip nor the friendship was the same after that night, and I had the worse hangover of my entire life, passed out on the floor of a Tokyo hotel bathroom.

Flahdagal , Martyn Smith Report

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#20

We lived together during our early university years. I was not in a good place when we became friends. A couple years later, I picked myself up, got into really good shape, was accepted into the degree program I wanted and found an extremely awesome job. She said she couldn’t continue being friends with me because I didn’t need her. If you don’t grow together, you grow apart. Years later we were still Facebook “friends”. She deleted me when I got engaged. I noticed and asked her why, she said she didn’t care anymore about anything in my life.

It took me a long time to get over that last part. No one needs that in their life.

Nursewholovedyou Report

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Hphizzle
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think that they were jealous. Even people I don’t really care about get engaged or lose a ton of weight, I think “yay for them”. To actively block people takes effort, meaning there is usually some deeper emotions at play.

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#21

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends He ghosted me because he got a girlfriend. I knew it was going to happen, even said so when it happened, but he assured me he wouldn't disappear.

It's two months and counting since he last texted me.

charenton_ , Wyatt Fisher Report

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Ansi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is such a typical thing and I hate it! Why? Well, when I found my boyfriend I worked hard on keeping my 18 month friendship going. We did almost everything in three and made sure that she wouldn't feel excluded and/or forgotten. Two weeks in she got a boyfriend of her own and then I didn't hear from her again unless we bumped into her randomly. (Still have my boyfriend/husband though)

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#22

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends When they put rocks in my shoes and threw them in the quarry.

dlowwonders , Magnus Hagdorn Report

#23

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends He got busy with his own life and I got busy with mine, and as much as I tried to keep in touch, he never did the same. I hear from him once in a blue moon, but whenever I try to make plans, he dodges me. I just finally came to the realization that a friendship isn't worth my time if I'm putting in all the effort and getting absolutely nothing back. It's sad, this is a guy I spent most of my young and teenage years with, practically lived at his house. We spent every waking minute together and had so many awesome times. I guess life just had different paths for us both. I don't begrudge him for anything, I don't think he has intentionally cut me out, I think he's just caught up in his own journey. Maybe one day life will bring us back to the same place and we will spend time together again, but maybe not.

JohnOctober Report

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#24

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends Our group of around 6 was all out playing basketball except I only found out when I went outside to do errands cuz of how bored I was at home. Not only that but I also heard they came near my place to use our internet to message our other friend to come play with them. That really f****d with me and I never felt the same around them.

I________________ , Chilli Head Report

#25

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends We were friends for almost 10 years. Every once in a while, we'd have small arguments, but always come around and told each other everything.

Over a year ago, we went to a party. I didn't drink, but he did. He got extremely moody, wouldn't talk to me and kept disappearing to a room to be alone. Kept brushing me off every time I asked if he was okay. He left the party early without telling me, and I sent him a pissed off text because we had agreed earlier to cab home together.

The next day I call and text. No answer. A week passes. More texts, still no answer. I go to his house. His roommate says he won't speak to me. He deletes and blocks me on all social media. I call and text him more, saying I'm sorry for whatever it is I must have done, still no answer. I message his friends, asking what I could have done and they have no idea, all he's saying is he doesn't want to see me.

At one point I fell into a depression. Am I such an uncaring person that I couldn't even know that I did something wrong? Or was our friendship even that great if he was willing to drop me so suddenly without explanation or goodbye? It's a weird, scary thought when someone who knows more about you than anyone refuses to even speak to you ever again.

It's been over a year and still no word. I went to a party the other day that I heard he'd be at. The host told me that as soon as he heard I was coming, he decided not to come. It's probably one of the biggest heartbreaks of my life.

surejan94 , Eli Duke Report

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Samantha
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My thought is that it's guilt. The former friend did something that he feels guilty about (kissed OP's girl, trash-talked him, maybe even found himself attracted to OP) and can't handle it. Or someone lied about OP to the friend.

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#26

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends When I was the constant butt of their jokes, and they were thinly veiled insults that they gaslighted me into thinking I made up or that they were actual jokes made out of love.

fatbabyotters_ , Tim Dorr Report

#27

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends I was in a friends group of 11. Really close, hung out alot. Oddly enough, everyone coupled up. I was the only non-couple from the group (my gf wasn't from the pack). Eventually I found out that they met up very often without inviting me and I was just phased out. We had a WhatsApp group but it was quite underutilised.

In the end, I just left the group.

tpoit778 , Blondinrikard Fröberg Report

#28

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends It slowly fell apart. She moved to live with her partner and we slowly stopped talking as often until rarely talking at all.

I knew I was done when she asked me to help find someone to film her wedding-that I was not invited to.

But she's happy with how her life is and who am I to judge for that?

MaineSoxGuy93 , Katsu Nojiri Report

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HarriMissesScotland
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She hurt you. Even though I don't know you, there is pain in your last sentence. I'm sorry.

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#29

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends They never paid me back the concert tickets I bought for them

nocturnalfetish , Bethany Khan Report

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SAF saf
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol....yep, these are usually you cheap friends. What they don't realize is that they've essential burned their credit with you.

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#30

He decided to join a skinhead group in high school.

[deleted] Report

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#31

She told me the friendship no longer held value to her and she always viewed it as shallow. Which I found rather ironic considering I was the one that she called when she had suicidal thoughts, she lived with my family after her dad beat her, we Skyped every week for years when I moved away, traveled together, were best friends for almost a decade, created countless memories together, and I told her every secret I had during that time. But apparently it wasn’t the same for her.

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#32

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends None of the people I used to hang out with and see on a regular basis reach out to me after I moved away. The ones that do are all former co-workers. I guess I should have hung out with the people at work more than the people I thought were my friends.

anon , robertsharp Report

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Peaches GreFra
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're not alone. I lost 50% of my friends when I left home and started my 3.5 year long world journey. You'd think they would've left over time but they did leave in the first 3 months (!) disappointment is an understatement

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#33

He wanted everything to be about him and hated when anyone else got attention. He was super agressive and would yell at people for nothing. He was addicted to sports drinks and was always super hyper which only made him or agressive. One time he came over and bullied my brother and punched a wall in anger when I told him to stop. That's where I drew the line and cut him off.

He lost a lot of his friends over the years and last I checked he managed a grocery store. Hope you cleaned up your act, Kyle.

fzkhn Report

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#34

She was a psycho. Super controlling and never wanted me to hang out with my other friends.

Also never got out of her weird vampire obsession phase. Remember when we were 14 and I said something she didn't like so she bared her teeth at me and hissed. That's when I thought "okay well, this pity party is over."

ALovelyComplex Report

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deanna woods
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

She is probably still in that vampire phase. Only now she probably sleeps in a coffin.

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#35

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends When you find out that people make plans regularly without you.

Most of my friends live a bit of a way away, so sometimes, those who live close together (or with each other) do stuff without me, which is fine, but we also do stuff together on a fairly regular basis. I've had friends who have just not bothered with the second part.

anon , [●] wim goedhart Report

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Griff
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get that. I frequently travel to Florida for family. One time, I was really trying to get my friends together so we could hang out and I could get some relaxation before I left (sleeping on a couch for a few weeks, being a night owl and everyone else being an early morning riser and having to deal with a one year old really makes life suck). As soon as I left (and I mean AS SOON as I left, like two days) my two friends decided to hang out together... And post pics of them hanging out without me in the group chat (it was literally just the three of us in the chat...) And basically kinda gloat about how much fun they're having. The reasoning for them not wanting to hang out when I was in town was that they were "too busy"

#36

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends When I was young, it was because my best friend grew out of playing with dolls before I did. All she wanted to do was wear make up, and so she got new friends who all wore make up.

It's been twenty years since I saw her last, but I'll never forget that. Young me was heartbroken.

[deleted] , Jenn Durfey Report

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deanna woods
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You are never too old to play with dolls and she is the one that lost out.

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#37

30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends I was planning my birthday party last year and when people showed up early and saw me working, nobody offered to help with anything.

anon , rabble Report

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#38

He broke off the friendship w me because he married a girl I slept with in the past. (I introduced them)

albinorhino63 Report

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Adagar
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

TBH I think it's a bit weird to introduce your friend to someone you've slept with already as a potential dating partner...

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