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30 Instances Friendships Ended Because Folks Realized Their Friends Weren’t Actually Their Friends
When something good happens in your life, you want to share it with your friends, you confide in them when you are having a rough period in your life and you are there for their joys and troubles. Friends are necessary for people to be happy, but somehow we manage to call people our friends who don’t really care about us or hang around just because they know they can use us.
Somehow it is hard to tell when you’re the only one putting effort into the relationship and are not receiving anything for what you give. Every friendship is different, so you need to evaluate whether the friendship brings you more happiness or hurt to determine whether it is worth keeping in touch with that person.
Redditors shared their own stories of what happened between them and their friends that led them to realize their relationship wasn’t as strong as they thought. Even though it probably wasn’t easy, in the end, they certainly benefited from the breakup.
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#1
When my father passed NONE of my friends showed up to the funeral. It was an hour and a half away so when they made up excuses not to come I said I understood (I didn't).
Surprisingly two of my neighbors that I barely know showed up. I'm friend with them now.
Emerald Ocean 2 years ago
Wow… those friends were the worst kind. They couldn’t even be there for you in one of the lowest points of your life. RIP your father
#2
She was one of my best friends, I guess. She was a self-centered drunk, but had some good qualities. We were talking on the phone one day, and she rambled on and on about her stupid, lazy co-workers. Then I told her I was afraid I was starting to relapse (life-threatening illness I thought I was over). She sighed and said "....AND? What's that to ME?" She was bored and wanted to talk about herself. When I got off the phone I emailed her a "Dear Karen" letter, saying don't ever contact me again. She didn't, and I didn't either. And I wasn't relapsing after all, thank God.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I've lost more friends who have just, without a word, dropped out of my life because they couldn't handle the fact that I'm disabled. While it sucks not having close friends, it's better than wasting time on people who don't care about you.
#3
I decided to throw a Super Bowl party a few years ago. I went out a bought a new grill and mounted a tv in the kitchen for people who wanted to hang out and snack while watching the game. Had tons of food and beer ready. 30 minutes before kickoff I got a text that the whole group decided to go to someone else’s house and that I should bring all my food and beer over there. Needles to say, I didn’t go, and I haven’t thrown a party at my house since.
Sweetpotato314 2 years ago
Wow, that's so freaking rude! I hope OP dumped those friends and found some genuine ones.
#4
Was a cop wife for twenty years. When you divorce you not only lose your cop family, you evidently lose your best friend who is married to a cop. I learned a valuable lesson. Friendships built on a common thread last only as long as that thread remains. Heartbreaking.
mind yours 2 years ago
this sucks of the "friend" and also don't marry a cop until after you google the rate of domestic violence in marriages to cops
#5
Tried to invite them to an event I go to every year. Day of I go by myself and find out weeks later they went as a group without me.
#6
My wife and I had a small wedding. I didn’t invite a ton of people but I invited 15 or so friends. Besides my best man, only one showed up. What’s worse is that all these people said they were coming. I no longer put effort towards those friendships.
EDIT: I’ve struggled with social anxiety my whole life. These “friends” were all people I met at work. I work at a big company and this was the first time I actually had friends. I wouldn’t call any of them super close but I thought they were at least close enough to come to my wedding as they always talked about coming and would comment saying that I better invite them. I worked on several different teams then and most of them didn’t know each other. I don’t think it was intentional. I just think I misinterpreted what true friends are. I was more of a casual friend to them than they were to me. I did wonder if I did something wrong and it made me feel pretty awful for a while, but as someone who didn’t have experience with friendships I think I just invited people who didn’t really value me as much as I value them.
I hope that makes sense. I definitely looked back at my behavior, and like I said, I wondered for the longest time if I had did something wrong, if it was my fault.
#7
An easy answer for me.
One year I had a sleepover party with a bunch of childhood friends from the neighborhood as a teen. It was really fun and I invited 15 or so kids, had to convince my parents and spent a ton of money to make it perfect for everyone. We went swimming in the pool, played dodgeball, kickball, had tons of food, had a nerf gun war, played pool, played video games, and watched movies. It was a blast and everyone was clearly enjoying themselves.
Then they tried to watch a horror movie that my parents would [end] me if I saw it, and I objected for a while before reluctantly putting it on. I hated horror movies, too, but I wanted them to have fun. It was like 1 in the morning.
They got bored during the movie and asked if we could all go to the clubhouse (I lived in a gated community with a public clubhouse at the time) to meet up some girls in the middle of the night. I said that my parents would never let it happen and that I didn't want to get caught, so I told them we couldn't go. After that, about 5 of them left at like 2-3 am to go without me. They said they'd be "right back" and that "one of them needed their medicine so they went to get it." Within the hour, everyone was gone except me.
I was crushed, and too embarrassed to tell my parents, so I finally put on the movie *I* wanted to watch before going to sleep. In the morning my parents were furious because over a dozen kids that they had promised their parents would be at their house had disappeared without a traced. Sad and tired me had to call all of them to figure out where they were and let all of their parents know that they didn't spend the night. Even though my parents made me do it, a lot of them got mad at me for that. The worst part by far was figuring out that they had all went to a different kid's house to spend the night after leaving mine.
#8
I opened up to him about my mental health issues, and after a day or two he messaged me saying he couldn't have that kind of negativity in his life. This was literally the first and only time I told anyone about it.
Raven DeathShade 2 years ago
I told a dude (over text) that I had severe mental health issues that can really affect my friendships. He thanked me for letting him know and told me that it's okay. That's how a good person reacts. Not all this nonsense.
#9
He was physically and psychologically abusing to me for years. It took a long time for me to see that even though he was “joking” it was just flat out abuse.
#10
Best friend of nearly 10 years expected me to travel halfway across the world and take a month off from work to stay with her (and her boyfriend) so that we could go to Oktoberfest and maybe do other things. However, when the time came, she refused to make any concrete plans, but still insisted that I apply for a visa and book my tickets anyway. Note that at this stage she hadn’t even confirmed the dates and had not spoken to her boyfriend about the possibility of my staying there for a month. She never initiated the conversation and very rarely answered my texts/calls. At some point I called her out on it, demanded that she show some interest on her part considering how I would be making a significant financial investment if I had decided to go through with the plan. She told me she was busy and that she would call me back. She never did.
One day I simply had enough, blocked her on all social media and haven’t talked to her since. All relationships require effort. If people care, they will show you they care.
Wendy Wiseman 2 years ago (edited)
Sounds like me traveling across the Atlantic to spend my birthday with my so-called BFF, and she ditched me to baby sit her kid & the kids friend and her bosses dogs to hang out with her new boyfriend and also wouldn't return my calls or texts on when she was returning but could check into FB in some bar or other.
#11
When I was hanging out with my real friends and felt at ease and calm with them.
Made me realize that my other friends gave me anxiety.
#12
My husband and I went on vacation with her and her husband. My husband and I did some gambling and won a decent amount of money. They did not gamble at all. When we got back I found out they had told everyone how much of a b***h I was because I had not offered to pay for their half of the vacation with my gambling winnings. When I confronted her she did not deny it. I didn’t want to be friends with someone that thought money played into our friendship or that talked like that behind my back.
KB 2 years ago
A cousin of mine is quite lucky with his online bets and that. When he gets very lucky, he always gives my mum a few pound from his winnings. Kind of like a "share the wealth" or a "good lucks penny." He would give a few very close family members a little share, nothing major though. I know a few people who do that, only a few though! But thats about it lol nothing extravagant lol i personally would never expect a penny from someone else's winnings. Thats theirs and happy days for them i say 😁
#13
Not me, but the kid who vandalized my house and car.
After someone threw eggs and rocks at my house, and finished with a rock through my windshield, I left the car parked next to the street with a big poster on it with "Reward for information" on it.
Within hours the kid's friends turned him in for $10 each.
#14
They don't contact me at all unless I go out of my way to contact them first. They find any reason to not hang out. They claim we're good friends but it just feels like they just want to be able to say that I'm a friend without doing anything to *be* a friend
Strawberry Pizza 2 years ago
this isn't about the text post but what exactly does that photo have to do with this lol
yeeyee 2 years ago
Kind of hard to find a picture that portrays let down by people you considered friends. since cellphones are a large part of our communications I consider it appropriate. Now if there was a picture of let's say a sunrise than I would wonder.
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Indy 2 years ago
This happened with my family. Every Christmas and birthday I'd call and send a present. I never got a call or present in return. I can't say it didn't hurt but I did it for years because I wanted to show I care. I completely caught them off 5 years ago when they didn't tell my favourite uncle died and they had a celebration party. I spend every Christmas alone but I spend the money on something I really want instead on them. Rather that than toxic family.
Rosie Hamilton 2 years ago
That's awful, I am sorry. You are better off without them, but it doesn't stop it hurting.
Load More Replies... KB 2 years ago
Have a "best friend" just like this. We've been friends for 22 years. Haven't actually seen her in person in 2 years now though and we live in walking distance from one another which is sad really. Makes every excuse under the sun. We even have sons that are months apart in age and i always thought or imagined that they would grow up to be good friends too but again, every excuse has been made in the past 2 years to meet up or even get our boys together to play. An occasional text here and there for the past 2 years... I call her my pen pal now just 😔
Susanne B 2 years ago
Maybe your friend have troubles, that she feel, that she cannot share with you, and that is why she is keeping away.
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TheEndIsNigh 2 years ago
I feel bad, because I am that person. 😔 I don't make an effort to reach out or hang out with people, and will ghost you in a heartbeat. It's...hard to explain. I have "tolerance" issues, and a limit to which I can socialize before being around or talking to people literally makes me want to peel the skin from my face. When I was actually working out in the world, I would come home and sit in a dark, silent house for hours and hours because of the sensory overload. I've lost a lot of friends because of this, unfortunately. 😕
Giobemo 2 years ago
Similar. I feel awkward at family get togethers, and I have a hard time initiating contact with people I don't see every day. All my long distance friendships eventually peter out, and I know it's my fault. And it's sad because I used to feel *so* close to them, and they were such a big part of my life.
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Michael Sanders 2 years ago (edited)
I left the last town I lived in on not the best terms. Details unnecessary but I parted with some “friends” but mostly acquaintances. But I had a super close and very loyal group of friends that stuck with me. I moved away to start fresh and for maybe the first month we texted back and forth and talked here and there. Since then not a peep unless I reach out. This was in 2018. I even went back there and sent a message to 5 people that I told were the most important for me to connect with months in advance. 1 showed. Being let down by existing friends only slightly beats out how hard it is to move to a completely new town on your own at 44 and trying to make new friends. But hey I’m still alive so yay!
Shelby Moonheart 2 years ago
My college friend doesn't reach out to me either, even though we live close. I have to call her first. She says she was thinking of me but doesn't call or email.
Tami 2 years ago
Possibly the friend has social anxiety. You know, afraid to reach out, might accept an offer to do something but then backs out. I have a friend like this and I'm not sure what to do. I'm nearly always the one to make contact. I notice she gets very nervous sometimes, and she's mentioned being on anxiety meds. One time we got together she said she was feeling very anxious and needed to go home. Last time we got together was last year, and we had a really nice time hanging out at a local coffee shop. When we parted she said, "Let's not make it so long between visits!" I haven't heard from her and am wondering if I should contact her again.
Rosie Hamilton 2 years ago
You raise a good point. I must admit I'm someone who finds it very hard to push myself forward. It's the fear of rejection. I'd say reach out but that's because I'd want someone to do that for me. I'm over the moon when someone makes contact and makes me feel wanted and cared about - I make sure they know how much I value it though. So at least they know they are wanted!
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Tien Grooms 2 years ago
Yup I had a "friend" and I always called her I even threw her a sweet sixteen party. I asked why she never called me she said cause she lost my number. She ALWAYS said she lost it. My number NEVER changed I finally
Lisa 2 years ago
This sounds like me and my "friends". My husband and I used to throw a big Halloween party each year and always tried to go bigger and better each year. People always had a great time, but they never did anything to reciprocate the rest of the year. No invites to their houses for dinner, parties, movie nights, meeting for lunch or shopping...nothing. They MAYBE would comment on a FB post that wasn't party related. After looking at the effort and expense, we stopped bothering. I basically have no friends, but at least I was fortunate enough to marry my best friend.
Heather Myers 2 years ago
Happened to me with my family. Decided not to call or visit unless I heard from them first. They didnt call or come to my houses, ever, and i wondered what would happen if I just stopped reaching out. I didnt see them for 3 years, so my feelings were true. They just didnt want to bother.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Just to put it out there... If your friend has ADHD, they may very much still want to be your friend but just not remember to contact you (especially not at a time you can talk). I'm not denying the friends who semi-ghost after a while, but just be aware that some of us aren't intentionally not reaching out, our brains just have those wires crossed.
Giobemo 2 years ago (edited)
Sometimes you're super close to someone because you're having a shared experience (like college) but then once you're out of that and have moved on to a different phase of your life, you find the connection really fades. And sometimes it really hurts to realize that and to remember what it used to be like and know that that will never come back. Sometimes people just change as they go through life. And sometimes you get someone who's SUPER KEEEEN to be your friend, and you're just not feeling it. And you don't want to be rude or make a scene or shoot them down outright, so you just don't reciprocate and hope they'll take the hint. And if people ask you if you're friends you say "Yea, sure" because, again, you don't want to hurt their feelings or embarrass them if they're telling people you are. And sometimes they'll confront you about it and ask what's going on, so you need to make a polite excuse, like you lost their number. And sometimes they keep asking, again and again and again...
Oros Vildheim 2 years ago
This is how it is for me too. If I don't put in the effort, mom will get pissed off that i/we didn't communicate
Tien Grooms 2 years ago
Yup I had a "friend" and I always called her I even threw her a sweet sixteen party. I asked why she never called me she said cause she lost my number. She ALWAYS said she lost it. My number NEVER changed I finally chalked it up as e Lost cause
Alex Foster 2 years ago
This one is more difficult. Not everyone is friends the same way. I try and make an effort to stay in contact with the people I care about but I can still go months without talking to my closest friends. It's just because none of us are the kind of people who need to check up on their friends or be social every single day. That's just one style of friendship. What matters is that everyone is on board with how the communication is going to work. I also have nasty ADHD and mean to message people but forget to until they message me first. That being said, the not hanging out is shitty.
michael tasker 2 years ago
I dont reach out to anyone. Ever. If you text me, I'll respond (eventually) and we might have a brief exchange but I won't initiate. My wife keeps trying to set up 'play dates' for me and I usually blow them off. I don't want friends. I don't want to hear about your problems. I don't care about what you're working on and I don't want to tell you about what I'm working on. My wife has friends. She sees them 3-5X/wk, talks on the phone all day....it seems such a bother.
Sharon Dean 2 years ago
Have a similar experience with former neighbors, I'm living in the same area as ten yrs ago and keep bumping into old neighbors. The first thing they say is "we miss you", "we should get together". Like we are old buddies.........but we never, ever were. And no, nothing, no calls, no notes, nada!!!
C. T. 2 years ago
I have many friends that live in distant places, including some of the ones I feel closest to. I try to remember to phone them or email them regularly, but I have to push myself to send an out-of-the-blue email, and sometimes it takes years to build up the nerve. That's years in which I really was "meaning to write" because I really do miss hearing from them.
Catherine T 2 years ago
That is exactly what happened to me with my supposed best friend. I got to realize if I didn’t text her, nothing. So I tested it, took her 6 months! I was done with that.
Kylie Minou 2 years ago
I had those and figured it's my fault. I come from an abuse/neglect childhood situation and I think I don't chose the right people, so I make do with my own company and save me the humiliation of being shunned and treated as a last option
Colleen Rogers 2 years ago
Been there done that and finally realized that I was not going to "beg" for their friendship anymore. It's been over 30 years since.
Ted Laudermilk 2 years ago
I get it I haven't had someone to call a friend since I was in jr high. I had people I talked to but no real friends. I wouldn't even know what to think if there were loyal people to trust and call friends anymore. I know they are out there but rare like the unicorn lol.
Jon White 2 years ago
i had one like that id call weekly shot the shi s see how things are, id stop by with coffee stop by his place of work at lunch see how things going, id call when i needed things done he would be right there, but he would only call me if he needed boiler work done plumping at his family's or so on roofing elc never out of the blue or when he went to buy smokes. aug will be a year sense i last spoke to him friends over 30 years
Timothy Richards 2 years ago
Being honest, I'm one of those types of friends. I love my friends, more than most anything, but just the idea of leaving my house gives me anxiety. Takes a lot to get me to agree to hang out. Even to voice chat. Anxiety's a bastard.
Cathy Hurd 2 years ago
I had this person who I thought was a friend but she was always to busy with her work group (she's a psychologist) or her college crowd. I'm just a housewife, I guess I'm just not intelligent enough for her. I don't even bother anymore. Friends aren't worth my energy.
Marilyn Russell 2 years ago
Let those relationships go dear one. The space will be filled with good people if you allow it to be.
serenyaa 2 years ago
I have a friend like this, she says we are "BFF" but then she never asks to hang out, she disappears for 2 weeks saying she had a lot to study, she never hangs out with our group because she is too busy, but then her friends post pictures with her hanging out all the time. It's very disrespectful and I honestly gave up on the friendship, if she wants to show some interest she knows what's my phone number
Nizumi 2 years ago
Bingo. Those are now people I'm perfectly happy to see, but I won't break a sweat trying ot organize something with them. Now it's just "Hi! It's been 6 months. I'm going to such and such place for dinner, date, time. See ya!" And usually end up having dinner with the one friend who always shows up and we have a lovely time. The rest? Meh - see you at your next milestone birthday party.
#15
When I realized that everything I did for them, they totally took for granted and advantage of most of the time. Like going out to eat I would usually pay because I used to make more then her but when she got a better job she still expected me to pay all the time. Nope
Alexia 2 years ago
I had such a "friend". I offered her all the emotional support when her fiance dumped her. She literally used to cry in my arms. I patiently listened to all her complaints and venting about her ex. I joined her in vacations so that she wouldn't feel alone and miserable. 2 years after, she finds someone else and gets married. I happened to go through a difficult period then (I was hospitalized), but she didn't care to give me a call. I really needed to talk to someone but she was not interested and even snapped at me a few times. One night we both went out to a restaurant. The waiter casually asked her about me: "Is she your best friend?" to which she calmly replied "No, she's not my friend." I was dumbfounded. She later explained to me that I shouldn't be upset about what she said to the waiter, because she never had any real friends. To this day, she is still wondering "I don't have any friends, nobody wants to be my friend, I wonder why". :))))
#16
She sided with her boyfriend when I told her he had made jokes about sexual assault which made me uncomfortable, eventually accused me of lying even though she was there when he made them
#17
I used to go out for dinner with some college friends.
Unlike me, they'd order multiple "call" drinks and *the most expensive* things on the menu.
Then, when the huge bill arrived, they'd say, "Let's just keep it simple and divide it equally." The guys knew I was paying double or triple what I should have, but that didn't seem to bother them.
James G. Currie 2 years ago
Instant reply..."how about we keep it fair, and each pay for their own?" Or, when they inform the server of this, let him or her know that I will be paying for *my* meal and drinks only.
#18
when i decided not to be the friend who always organised things and started conversations. i get no contact on the weekends and during the week, i noticed that if i kept quiet in a conversation, they wouldn't even notice i was there
#19
With friends on a trip to Japan, drinking one night in Roppongi district. I'm trying to taper off, Karen (no, really, it was her name) keeps putting drinks in front of me, paying the bartender for weird shots for me, but not for anyone else in the group. She's saying really catty s**t, but laughing like it's all good fun, we're pals. She starts saying some pointed stuff that makes me think she's been holding on to some really ugly resentment for awhile. After I'm good and sloshed, she pushes me over to my partner and tells him to grab a taxi and take me back. On the way back to the hotel I look at my partner and say, "I didn't realize until now that Karen hates me." He replied, "She sure seems to." Neither the trip nor the friendship was the same after that night, and I had the worse hangover of my entire life, passed out on the floor of a Tokyo hotel bathroom.
#20
We lived together during our early university years. I was not in a good place when we became friends. A couple years later, I picked myself up, got into really good shape, was accepted into the degree program I wanted and found an extremely awesome job. She said she couldn’t continue being friends with me because I didn’t need her. If you don’t grow together, you grow apart. Years later we were still Facebook “friends”. She deleted me when I got engaged. I noticed and asked her why, she said she didn’t care anymore about anything in my life.
It took me a long time to get over that last part. No one needs that in their life.
#21
He ghosted me because he got a girlfriend. I knew it was going to happen, even said so when it happened, but he assured me he wouldn't disappear.
It's two months and counting since he last texted me.
Ansi 2 years ago
This is such a typical thing and I hate it! Why? Well, when I found my boyfriend I worked hard on keeping my 18 month friendship going. We did almost everything in three and made sure that she wouldn't feel excluded and/or forgotten. Two weeks in she got a boyfriend of her own and then I didn't hear from her again unless we bumped into her randomly. (Still have my boyfriend/husband though)
#23
He got busy with his own life and I got busy with mine, and as much as I tried to keep in touch, he never did the same. I hear from him once in a blue moon, but whenever I try to make plans, he dodges me. I just finally came to the realization that a friendship isn't worth my time if I'm putting in all the effort and getting absolutely nothing back. It's sad, this is a guy I spent most of my young and teenage years with, practically lived at his house. We spent every waking minute together and had so many awesome times. I guess life just had different paths for us both. I don't begrudge him for anything, I don't think he has intentionally cut me out, I think he's just caught up in his own journey. Maybe one day life will bring us back to the same place and we will spend time together again, but maybe not.
#24
Our group of around 6 was all out playing basketball except I only found out when I went outside to do errands cuz of how bored I was at home. Not only that but I also heard they came near my place to use our internet to message our other friend to come play with them. That really f****d with me and I never felt the same around them.
#25
We were friends for almost 10 years. Every once in a while, we'd have small arguments, but always come around and told each other everything.
Over a year ago, we went to a party. I didn't drink, but he did. He got extremely moody, wouldn't talk to me and kept disappearing to a room to be alone. Kept brushing me off every time I asked if he was okay. He left the party early without telling me, and I sent him a pissed off text because we had agreed earlier to cab home together.
The next day I call and text. No answer. A week passes. More texts, still no answer. I go to his house. His roommate says he won't speak to me. He deletes and blocks me on all social media. I call and text him more, saying I'm sorry for whatever it is I must have done, still no answer. I message his friends, asking what I could have done and they have no idea, all he's saying is he doesn't want to see me.
At one point I fell into a depression. Am I such an uncaring person that I couldn't even know that I did something wrong? Or was our friendship even that great if he was willing to drop me so suddenly without explanation or goodbye? It's a weird, scary thought when someone who knows more about you than anyone refuses to even speak to you ever again.
It's been over a year and still no word. I went to a party the other day that I heard he'd be at. The host told me that as soon as he heard I was coming, he decided not to come. It's probably one of the biggest heartbreaks of my life.
#26
When I was the constant butt of their jokes, and they were thinly veiled insults that they gaslighted me into thinking I made up or that they were actual jokes made out of love.
Courtney Christelle 2 years ago
You're the one who decides if the way people speak to you is acceptable, not them.
#27
I was in a friends group of 11. Really close, hung out alot. Oddly enough, everyone coupled up. I was the only non-couple from the group (my gf wasn't from the pack). Eventually I found out that they met up very often without inviting me and I was just phased out. We had a WhatsApp group but it was quite underutilised.
In the end, I just left the group.
#28
It slowly fell apart. She moved to live with her partner and we slowly stopped talking as often until rarely talking at all.
I knew I was done when she asked me to help find someone to film her wedding-that I was not invited to.
But she's happy with how her life is and who am I to judge for that?
HarriMissesScotland 2 years ago
She hurt you. Even though I don't know you, there is pain in your last sentence. I'm sorry.
#29
They never paid me back the concert tickets I bought for them
#30
He decided to join a skinhead group in high school.
What do you think ?
Iriané Marie Laurentwolff 2 years ago
There's something that I've learnt about people. They, the very most of them, demands you to cope with their shitty, cheap, manipulative, and selfish and offensive actitude. If not. Your punishment is to be alone and with no one to talk or hang. Descent people are segregated just for not allowing someone to harm their dignity and self respect.
Doctor Strange 2 years ago
Last September, I ended up in the ICU for about a week. A viral infection caused some of my internal organs to stop working, including my pancreas. That, in turn, caused my blood sugar to spike off the scale (literally off the scale, the in hospital meter readers couldn't even give a number), and that lead to severe dehydration. According to the staff, if I had been even one more hour I definitely would have died, and as it was they weren't sure I was going to make it as I was in the worst shape of anyone brought in that day. So while I was quite literally laying on my potential deathbed, not a single one of my friends visited. I spent my time in the ICU alone.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I'm so sorry that you were left to handle a frightening, life-threatening situation alone. No one should have to be alone during what you suffered.
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deanna woods 2 years ago
My instance occurred in high school. My aunt worked at the school board and they planned to throw me a graduation party. They told me to give them the names of eight people that I wanted to invite and I did. Only two of them showed up to the party. I learned at that point that not everyone that you think is your friend is your friend.
NotMe 2 years ago (edited)
There's definitely shitty people everywhere, but I also wonder about one thing: What if I did something that really hurt a friend and they never told me and I just for whatever reason didn't think it was a big deal? And what if they just stopped thinking of me as a friend, the same way I'm hurt about stuff someone else said or did to me? I think some people are just bad at communicating (this includes myself, ofc).
MoJo1979 2 years ago
I always used to be the one reaching out to friends. At the start of the pandemic, I arranged weekly video chats for us and after about 3 weeks of us doing it, some people started to not show up. I then made the decision not to chase people anymore to see who would actually reach out. Only 4 friends did and they're the ones that got my new phone number when I changed contracts. Those 4 friends are all I need and we all make an effort to spend time together at least once a month and we text/call each other every day.
Angela 2 years ago
I became sick with what would become a chronic, disabling illness. At first friends are supportive. However, when I never got better, everyone moved on with their lives as though I no longer exist. Now, my immediate family is my sole support.
NatalieC 2 years ago (edited)
I got fired from a job some years ago, and it was a horrible situation. I had one work friend there at the time. I couldn't find another job so my house went into foreclosure, filed for bankruptcy, had to rehome my dogs and managed to buy a shitty little trailer that i could afford. Everything in my life sucked. So, this work friend calls me to tell me how much the employer loves her and how great things are going and apparently someone gave her a house? Never once asked how things were with me. It was a hurtful call. Then, after that my trailer burned down and I wound up living in my car. The karma part: My trailer was in Paradise CA which PG&E burned to the ground in 2018. I have just finalized a settlement where I get $300,000. Haha... SUCK ON THAT, Cynthia.
Berdarien Brown 2 years ago
I have two. One I was in construction for years, mainly industrial lots of heights. I got sick and couldn't do it anymore. After treatment I had friends who convinced me to open a logistics business. These were people who I'd had over for Christmas and Thanksgiving. Had tons of nights hanging out camping or even just having parties. Some of the closest friends of the group. Had my business going ok and the wife was doing my books. I noticed some inconsistencies but I was doing well so no worries. Then had an argument with a driver about nonpayment and called the trucking company. Turns out what they were billing and what I was getting were vastly different things. Called her out and she went nuts, called all my contacts and accused me of being a drug addict.(I don't even drink). I lost my business fairly quickly. Had to move in with my folks and start my life all over. Was a great lesson in business horrible lesson in friendship.
Berdarien Brown 2 years ago (edited)
2nd in high school I was best friends with one of the prettiest girls in school. We just clicked and were together a lot. Well one of the guys in my group of "friends" wanted to sleep with her. I didn't even know about this at the time. His girlfriend finds out and im accused of telling her, again I didn't know anything about it. The friends all show up at my graduation party we get into a big argument most of them left. I ended up leaving town the next morning. Talked to one of them twice while I was gone. He ended up getting in an accident and died. Found out 10 years later who told her. Told the friend who accused me. Never saw any of them again. From best friends from grade 7 til end of 12. Inseparable to me having no friends because everyone thought I couldn't be trusted. Pretty self reliant because you never know who is gonna ghost you on nothing.
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Violet Jensen 2 years ago
My pet snake passed away after getting sick, and my vegetarian friend told me that I was being insensitive to their mental health by crying about it in front of them. I cut them off and they told everyone I left because of their mental health :( all my other friends believed me though
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
I used to have this big group of friends who I'd meet up with for drinks and pool and house parties and other fun stuff. Then they all moved away at about the same time and suddenly I had no-one to hang out with. I'm not upset with them; they were all studying engineering when I knew them and there weren't enough good job opportunities here so they left to look for work. But losing that social circle really sucked.
Raynelle 2 years ago
Me. I'm the bad friend. I spent teens and early adulthood being a doormat. I wanted to help everyone, I wanted to be nice to everyone. I trusted everyone. I attracted very toxic people. Eventually, in my mid 20s, I woke up, and refused to be a doormat anymore. I relocated to an unknown area, and created a new life. Shortly after, I met my now hubby, and created a safe, non-toxic, strong nuclear family that I'd been craving unknowingly since childhood. Several yrs into this relationship, our family doubled, from 3, to 6 (originally me, my son, my hub. His ex had his son and NC, so we didn't get to see him. I got preg, and 2 mo's before birth, we got his son from CPS case on mom. Then, 3 mo's after birth of baby, my mom's disability was approved, and she could support herself, as I couldn't, and moved her in with us from her toxic/unhealthy situation. Fam is now, me, hub, my oldest, step son/my mid, baby, and my mom) all of that within 6 mo's. (1)
Jackie Lulu 2 years ago
That doesn't sound like being a bad friend. Yes, you got yourself into toxic relationships, but you've helped many people since then. good for you.
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Jknbt 2 years ago (edited)
I loaned money to a "friend" so he could make his car payment that month. The lender had warned him to pay up immediately, or they would repo the car without further notice. He was on hard times and was about ready to cry when he asked for help. He even signed a contract saying he would do work on the property at a specified rate for so many hours to pay back the debt. His answer to my kindness was to skip town without an apology or goodbye while still owing half the money. Then five years later I get a call from my "friend". He announces he has moved back into town, needs a place to stay, and that he needs someone to rent him a storefront and loan him $50,000 so he can buy inventory for his new store. No mention of skipping town like before. Hmmm.... I told him I couldn't help him, give me a call when he gets settled somewhere, my treat for a coffee. Never heard from him again, and good riddance. I have already reached my lifetime maximum quota for "friends" like that. Goodbye. Moral of the story: you never really know someone until you get around their money. This tells all tales. Glad it wasn't worse, what if I had loaned him the $50k?
Patricia Yousif 2 years ago (edited)
Had what I thought was my first “best friend” had a lot in common,supportive conversations, In my joy I overlooked a lot of self-centered, arrogant, gossipy behavior. Recently I begin to question the relationship, and my suspicions were confirmed when this individual made a request that I refused to honor as it was not in my own best interest and the negative response that I received as a result of my refusal has ended the relationship. I am angry and sad but I learned a lot about myself and I am going to be just fine.
Nadine Bamberger 2 years ago
Most of the things were really awful and I'm sorry it happened to them. But sometimes I'd like to hear both sides of the story, who knows what really happened.
Roald 2 years ago
The monster of Frankenstein said: if one human would love me, I could forgive them all...Yep people... despite sincere kindness, love, attention, effort from your side there is no guarantee you will receive that back equally. When I realise that again it happened, it always gets me. But I will not change because I believe that somewhere someplace someone will be 'that one human'.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Hopefully you don't slowly murder someone's entire family in revenge...
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Enlee Jones 2 years ago
This is why I choose to no longer have friends. It’s so much easier to not deal with people and their c**p.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
We all have imaginary friends. They're real people - we just imagine they're our friends.
Powerful Musk Ox 2 years ago
When I got sober, about 95% of my closest "friends" disappeared. Joke's on them, I'm a better person and friend now, five years later.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Eh, be careful here. Lots of people just have a lot going on and may let stuff slip and a reasonable number of people have neurodivergence that make it hard to keep track of things even if they really are interested in doing something. Don't assume someone hates you or just doesn't care because you have to initiate or because they are bad with plans, especially if they really do put in some effort in other ways.
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Mikey Kliss 2 years ago
Maybe I'm just a crotchety old 30 something but a lot of these sound kinda petty? I had lots of friends thru HS and College and now I talk to maybe 3 or 4 tops and even that's every once in a while. It just seems like how life goes. We get old and all have something else going on
FABULOUS1 2 years ago
I have two friends, one is my SIL, and we are really more like sisters even though her and my brother are no longer together. And one other friend who is also more like family. End of last year I had 3 but one hasnt talked to me since I told her she couldnt come for Christmas after telling me she was exposed to covid. I am good with the two I have. We dont talk all the time but are there when we need each other and try and spend as much time together as possible. Having a lot of friends is overrated and can get messy.
Just a Winter Fanboy 2 years ago
"Friends are necessary for people to be happy" Lol don't make me laugh. You're generalizing all human beings to be a social entity when it's clearly not the case. Some people don't need friends to thrive in life. Sure it is nice to have strong social relationships, but it is not necessary for our survival AND our happiness. Simply put, it is not necessary for humans to have friends. Do your freakin' research and stop embarassing yourself.
Naomi 2 years ago
Discovering that a person isn't your friend is heartbreaking. So, seek acquaintances, not friendship. I recently invited a neighbor over for a cocktail. She gladly came...and I haven't seen her since, except in passing. She'll say hello and tell me that she's gonna drop by... My feelings aren't hurt. She's a neighbor, not a friend. It's important to learn and know the difference. I always try to be cordial with people, but not overly friendly.
Lisa McKay 2 years ago (edited)
My dad always said to me that in life you’ll make lots of good acquaintances, but very few real friends.
Myxomatosis 2 years ago
My single Father died of lung cancer at the age of 52 when I was 26. His family of 6 brothers and one sister (3 doctors) ignored us during his four years of suffering and have IGNORED ME IN THE FOLLOWING 2 DECADES SINCE HIS DEATH even though I managed to show up to said sister's funeral, who died on my Father's birthday.
R Dennis 2 years ago
My best friend, who was like a brother to me for 20+ years started posting racist stuff after Trayvon Martin was killed. I am multiracial and had dealt with situations where at 16-17, I left work at 1am and had to walk two miles to catch the last bus home. It was an affluent area and on several occasions, I had cars slowly circle and follow me for several blocks. It was terrifying to the point I started carrying a wrench to use as a weapon if someone got out of the car. I wrote him that I had been in that position of minding my own business and feeling like I could be killed. I also told him that I had done the same things as Trayvon Martin: tried pot (once), got suspended for fighting (someone jumped me), and flipped off a camera. Did that mean I deserved to die? I said that it really hurt that he thought it was okay. He never responded back and a couple days later posted another "thug" meme. Lost my brother that day...
Kristal 2 years ago
Known this girl since high school, we were like sisters, I held her father's hand as he died. She forgot I was the first person she came out to, which I thought a but odd. A few months later we went to a festival (camping for a week) and I realized she is the same as she was in high school, no real growth after 20ish years. She kept trying to find careers like massage therapy (too many muscles to memorize) or trying to be tiktok famous (she's mid-30's). After the festival, she was inspired to look into being a therapist and I told her that she would need a Master's degree to do that and that it would be extremely challenging (I completed my Master's in 2020 in an unrelated field) and offered alternatives similar but no graduate degree in case she found it too challenging. She ended up taking this as condescending and unsupportive, then threw c**p in my face that I confided in her about my relationship. She then blocked me and her mother (who was proud to be my 2nd mother) unfriended me
H M 2 years ago
Almost a year after my friend, all my cats and my partner died, I was depressed. Extremely. Friend fetched me. Nice I thought. She then proceeded to lecture me on what a terrible person I am, point out all my faults, go on how she is there for me, proceeded to tell me what I needed to do (with current living situation, and no it wouldn't work) and when I went to leave shouted at me and told me how unappreciative I was . If I hadn't wanted to die already, I might have wanted to after.
Tina Hugh 2 years ago
She’s a sadist. Some people are wired like that, but they still know right from wrong
Load More Replies... Sofia Vähäjylkkä 2 years ago
I had a best friend that betrayed me in the worst way possible. About 11 years ago, when I was 17, I was raped by a guy that I had dated for two months. It happened on a party and my best friend supported me after it happened. About two months later I found out by a mutual friend that my best friend had slept with him, the guy that raped me. She knew how devastated I was after that but still decided to sleep with him. I haven't heard of her since, she has never even apologized.
athornedrose 2 years ago
we'd been friends since we were kids. in college, he helped set me up with a guy he knew i was really into who turned me down. when i went to tell him, he suggested we go out. when i said no, he said my self esteem should be down since i just got turned down, and i should start lowering my standards since no one else was gonna put up with my anxiety disorder. i ran to my car.
Tina Hugh 2 years ago
Sounds like he was negging. I wouldn’t take his insults to heart, not that his opinion matters
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Yaz Cam 2 years ago
Some people are in your life for a reason and some only for a season. I recently ended a “friendship” because it was very one-sided. They got all the benefits of friend and I got nothing in return. When I would try to talk to them about things going on in my life they would literally fall asleep while I was talking! It was always all about them. I felt so much better once I ended that “friendship”
Momochild 7 months ago
Got a friend for over 30 years, but she ist always agressive in the end, when she drinks alcohol it get most of the time more agressive. I dont want to do things with her again, because often it end in stress and fights. how can i end a friendship wich lastet so long, even with good vibrations, but always this fight i dont want to handle anymore,, i told her so often but it dosnt end. there are a lot of storys i can tell, even i called one ore two times the cops, even her husband called the cops one time, in her marriage is allways stress and fightings... i dont know.
Mark Kelly 7 months ago
I've had friendships in which they would treat me like a friend and then sometimes like c**p and then treat me like a friend and on and off.
Mary G----no 7 months ago
I guess I'm just not the type of friend people want - so many of these rang true with me. 1- so many people who rsvp'd to my wedding didn't show up. So much wasted money on food and other stuff. It was very hurtful. 2- I've always been the person who was never invited. Only went on things as long as I did the planning. 3- I get interrupted and cut out of conversations all the time. Someone will ask a question (sometimes even directed towards me) and then I get interrupted before I can barely get an answer in. I've been in so many situations where I tried to take part in a conversation and people act like I'm not there. Got to the point that I just quit trying. Then sometimes, they wanna know why I don't have anything to say. It's because I didn't come up with anything because I didn't think I'd get to share. I knew it was bad when my husband started acting that way too. That's when I figured I just wasn't meant for true companionship.
Adams Turner 2 years ago
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Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
My youngest sister was in Las Vegas & I lived in San Diego. She called me in an absolute panic begging me to come help her out. (LSS: she was helping the mother of a friend & being threatened/bullied by people trying to take advantage of an 86 y/o woman). So, I drop everything & fly to Vegas. I got there at 11:00am & she was already drunk. She didn't have any money, so I ended up paying for everything - I'm talking Uber, meals, cigarettes, liquor (I decided it was easier to deal with her drinking than her going into withdrawal). She was, as usual, completely self absorbed; started drinking at 6:30 or so every morning, complained about everything, disagreed with me about everything and was just a really ungrateful nasty f*cking b*tch. After 3 days, I flew home - oh, and I gave her $200 cash so she'd at least have food. That was over a year ago. She thinks I'm not speaking to her over the $1000+ she owes me. Not even close. She's an absolutely horrible person & I choose NOPE.
Suzanne Haigh 2 years ago
I had a couple of friends, both came from the same village, both had the same name. We were friends for years and had some laughs but when one of them got married I was not invited to the wedding, just the evening do. All her new work friend were invited, I did not go and forgot about her. The other we did grow apart but when I look back I realise she spent most of her time belittling me, small tits, can not drink like she can, does not go abroad as much as her. Gosh i was so blind, I slowly moved away from her. Try and be realistic, there are loads of new friends out there, just join some groups, alter your drinking spots, change your scene.
Jay R 2 years ago
Its hard to find good friends :/ who I thought was my best friend completely changed after moving. Leaving me on read and s**t. Was real quick to reply when I was closer and was able to bring food. Smh. And havent texted since she found out my dad had emergency heart surgery a month ago. So I deleted numbers and everything. You need to be ok with being alone. Aint many people you can count on
Craig Stafford 2 years ago
I have to say reading these i feel less alone. I had a group of friends i shared with my olde bro. Our father told me i was born to trap him in his relationship, i spoke my my bro he made it all about him saying hes important i should be grateful i was born. My bro told all friends im not thinking of his feelings at all. The after i split with my ex he told all friends i was stoping him from seeing my daughter, even forceing my ex to stop him. I got hate from all friends on Facebook, text, discord. Now i dont bother with friends. I dont feel the point any more.
Mary J 2 years ago
I had a friend for a lot of years. We went through a lot together. She always tried hit on the guys that I really had feelings for. I really didn't care, because I dealt with some pretty decent guys and they wouldn't have done that to me. She had some serious self-esteem issues.So I was seeing this guy (#1) who i was really in love with, he was in the process of a divorce. She knew this was "the one" and she tried her best but got no play from him. I was also seeing this other guy #2, a fine-a*s entertainer. #1 was really jealous of #2, and he had damn good reason to be. So this B... goes and tells #2 about how #1 feels about him! He got so mad at me, like it was my fault. I told him she had mental issues, and he turned around and told me that I was jealous of HER AND HIS relationship! We fell out, and I basically cut both of them loose, and married #1. I was still so hurt though. I saw him about a year later and the first thing he said was... "She is a MADWOMAN!" TOLD YA!
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
Had to stop reading about halfway through because of the memory it brought up of a "bachelor party" I arranged at a local bar. I invited about 10 of my closest male friends who all assured me they'd be there. None showed up. That was about 35 years ago and it still hurts.
Channo Sagara 2 years ago
Number #1 first top rule of thumb most important in life: DON'T TAKE PEOPLE FOR GRANTED. Let alone friends, your own dam flesh and blood family will definitely fail you if you do this. Always talk, discuss, ask, confront if you have to. But never take things for granted. Half of these problems happened because someone took their friends for granted.
Iga Błażejewska 2 years ago
My mom had cancer when i was just 23 and i was in serious depression. I forgot about a hangout with friends that was arranged on a WhatsApp group that i didn't visit. Someone told me 3 hours beforehand and i ended up ditching everything to drive 2 hours to be there. My best friend of 8 years acted rude and resentful to me for daring to forget, made comments about me being too loud and was generally unpleasant to be around. It was the most stressful day of my life and I haven't been the same since.
Friend Kelli 2 years ago
In '92 I spent the summer in an eating disorder clinic. Friends avoided me, which I get because it's awkward, but in '93 when I said I was getting married I had five 'friends' ask to be a bridesmaid.
Jackie Lulu 2 years ago
I learned a while ago that if you see a friend or partner of yours treating other people in an abusive or careless way, sooner or later they are going to treat you in that same abusive way. This happened with someone I'd been friends with for over 20 years. When she got after me in that ugly way over something I didn't do, I knew it was time to get out. Sadly I'm facing a similar situation now and know I need to do something about it, but it's hard, very hard.
Clara 2 years ago
My friend ditched me. I have depression. She actually has bipolar disorder. I'm very sympathetic to her because my dad has bipolar disorder. She would express her struggles. And I was always there for her because I've seen how it can affect a person. Well we met a group of other friends. And I know she told me she would like more friends since she was new to the area. But I didn't expect her to say "I never had friends.Now I do!" It felt like a stab in the gut. Because I was there with her from day one. Then she ditched me to hang out with them only. And when they wouldn't meet up with her, she would call me to invite me out and then rave about them. And how amazing they were and she wished her real friends lived closer to her. It just felt like I was a filler friend. Then when I told her one day that I wouldn't come to an event because my depression was kicking my butt that day, she completely ignored me and put me down. The whole time I thought we were best friends but I guess not
Evelyn Cardon 2 years ago
My friend would squish my thighs and then say squishy squishy or jiggly and I would feel super self conscious from that point forward about my weight
Evelyn Cardon 2 years ago
My “friend” called everyone away from the lunch table we were sitting at except for me and I was just left there sitting alone and then eventually one of them comes over and tells me that the need a break from being there friend right before Christmas and my birthday. Then one of them stole from me and would lie to me and not invite me to group activities and then she went and told the guidence counselor I was doing those things to her and so he told me I had to stop hanging out with them until they all agreed I could hang out with them again. Then she hid her pop it toy in the theater costume rack so that she could tell everyone that I stole it and traded it for a different pop it when I gave her that pop it for her birthday. It was like if u wanted it then I would have just kept it for myself and not given it to her for her birthday. Then she told everyone I was a liar and a thief they made up a secret language and wouldn’t tell me what they were saying and it was about me.
LucyGoosey 2 years ago
I was playing on the streets once with my friends at the time and I always had this one kid who would come down and start harassing me for God knows why. Not only did my best friend at the time not defend me (she usually did), but when that kid and I got into a fist fight because I threw a rock at his bike (wanted to throw it at his head), she was too busy making googly eyes at her crush to notice, even believed that I made it up. Another friend I had in high school was extremely manipulative and emotionally abusive. After threatening to take her own life and blame it on me because I wouldn't do what she wanted (this happened three times) I screamed at her and ended it there. Senior year was not fun after that. I find myself incredibly jealous of people who have amazing friends. I got a few now who are better, but there's always the thought in the back of my mind questioning it all...
Cyrus Allard 2 years ago
There was a girl at my school+job that I had a crush on. I invited her to prom, and she said yes, but didn't have her paycheck yet, so she wanted to borrow some money from me and pay me back later. I was so excited to go to prom with her, so of course I said yes and I paid for both our tickets. We get to prom. I asked her to dance multiple times, and each time she declined because "she doesn't dance". Said she would be right back because she has to use the bathroom, she's just talking to a bunch of other people instead. I make conversation with some of my friends, and we have fun and dance. Meanwhile she is off dancing with her friends, despite "not dancing", and basically ignores me the whole night. Towards the very end we got in one "dance" which was to apple bottom jeans. She never did pay me back and I haven't heard from her since.
Erika Sadie 2 years ago
I had a best friend throughout high school, we stayed close during college, she was one of my bridesmaids, she had asked me to be a bridesmaid in her upcoming wedding, and every summer I would dog sit for her while she went on vacation. One summer my car broke down 1 mile from her apartment. I called to see if I could stay the night at her apartment while it was being fixed (she had been begging me for a sleepover for a while). She didn't answer, but I knew she was at work. I waited three hours on the freeway for a tow truck, and two more hours at the shop with me car. She finally texted me back at 10pm and said, "Rough day at work, maybe some other time." I explained again that my car was inoperable and I needed a place to crash for the night (maybe she didn't understand my initial texts?) and she again reiterated that I was not invited to crash on her couch. Then she deleted me and all our mutuals off socials and we never spoke again.
Maple Porkly 2 years ago
A year into our marriage my husband was diagnosed with cancer (50/50 chance). My family had disowned me for the marriage and his lived far away so our friends of 5 years were all we had for support. My husband's treatment was a full day hooked up to an IV and he was left exhausted and sick for the next 24-48 hours after. This happened every 2 weeks since his cancer was so aggressive. We used to hang out with our friends almost every day so I had them over as much as I could despite being exhausted looking after him and working two jobs (he wasn't able to work during all this so I had to pull in more cash flow). I wanted him to feel comfortable and live as normally as possible. But after a few months they stopped answering my calls. Not like they lived far away (literally 3 blocks from us). Thankfully my husband was one of the lucky ones and survived. I kept my best friend that mattered. The rest disappeared into the wind. It's been 10 years now. Haven't heard from them since.
Yuki 2 years ago (edited)
God, these just remind me of the awful experiences with "friends" that I've had in the past. 🙄 --- One group (Jennifer, Hannah, Kara) would get together and refuse to invite me, despite one of them being my supposed "best friend" at the time (Jennifer). I'm pretty sure the little ringleader of that trio (Kara) turned the other two against me, because I'd been friends with Jennifer AND Hannah for almost ten years when they suddenly started ghosting me like that. Kara, I'm pretty sure, was pulling the "act nice to your face but trash-talk you behind your back to isolate you" thing. And what's worse, Jen and Hannah were my ONLY friends at the time, so I had no one. --- one (Kate) literally told me to "get over" losing my dad to cancer, NOT EVEN A WEEK AFTER HE'D PASSED AWAY. Just because she, apparently, "doesn't grieve" so therefore no one's allowed to. Blamed it on "[her] family being Italian". She also ripped apart a gift I made for her literally right after receiving it.
Cheese man Steve 2 years ago
Continued: the bartender heard we were military and had the whole place raise their glasses for us. Our old friend's group bought us drinks and we told them we actually used to be real good friends with him. They bought us another round and his group of friends actually hung out with us most of the night while he sat at the booth.
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Robert Margadona 2 years ago
Good people tend to protect their inner circles and overall groups from those types of people. The mean nasty ones that that aren't allowed in find the other mean nasties and form what Im calling "meanie groups" (birds of a feather flock together) or they become lonewolves. Also I've noticed that nobody in my huge group of friends including myself use Facebook alot. If someone here is looking for good friends I suggest finding a Hobbie that isn't drugs or alcohol and do them together. I want all you good people to find eachother and form a moral protection wall and you'll have good friends forever. Too many narcissistic behavior clusters and they are out. It can be done and maintained for years and even decades like ours. Don't give up.
Brittany Copeland 2 years ago
In high school, I organized a sleepover for my friends during my birthday, which is just before Halloween. I had made sure there werent any parties that weekend, and everyone said they'd come. Day of, only one showed up. She lived across town. 5 others lived within 5 minutes walking distance. They never mentioned it after that day, wouldn't give me any explanation. Day of graduation, they ghosted me. Haven't heard from any of them in 8 years. Saw on Facebook they all attended my (previous) best friend's wedding, though.
Irishwoman abroad 2 years ago
Friends can come and go in the natural ebb and flow of things, but usually you it happening because you've both moved on, literally or figuratively. I was blindsided a couple of times though, one by a friend who I thought was really close, then she decided to up and leave the country for family reasons and didn't tell me until the last minute, and has since pretty much ghosted me. Another was foreseeable - a very spoilt, well-off friend who would rant on about her nutcase of an ex husband, then quickly end the conversation if I tried to tell her any of my stuff. The worst for me was when I was really sick, she didn't contact me and when I eventually rang, she said she had too much going on and saw I had enough friends to help out. I did have lots of help, but I'd known her much longer and she made me feel I was just a bother to her, which hurt a lot. However, at that time I discovered that true friends are always there to help you, and tbh I don't miss her.
Ashley Shaffer 2 years ago
My best friend for like 20 years didn't like who we were voting for. In high school and early college she was very conservative. My family was conservative. We did everything together. Years later she switch sides and now very liberal. That didn't bother me. Everyone is allowed to have their own opinions and can make choices for themselves. Her and my husband got in a political debate (on Facebook no less), where you should have facts to back up what you say. She was heavily throwing opinions rather than facts. Her and her Facebook friends started calling my husband names and saying horrible things to him (which she knows is not true). Then told me she was never coming to my house again because she didn't feel safe around us. We have never ever been violent towards anyone. She blocked him on Facebook and i could choose her or my husband. I choose the love of my life and the father of my kids. All because of the last election.
Kevin Felton 2 years ago
This whiny c**p always kill me. "Oh they didn't come to my super bowl boo freaking hoo." Grow up. If you expect other people to make you happy you're guaranteed to be disappointed. Stop crying about it and learn 'to thine own self be true."
Zelda Blue 2 years ago
You can't work harder to have a friendship/relationship than the other person is willing to do as well. I have a friend that every time we want to do something she always makes it so difficult to nail down a date. She has the "busy" schedule while the rest of us make the time for each other. We have finally stopped trying to work around her, if she can make it great if she can't its on her.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Hm, I get what you are trying to say, but I also would say that you can easily end something good with an attitude where you are constantly summing up how much you both contribute to a friendship.
Load More Replies... Iriané Marie Laurentwolff 2 years ago
There's something that I've learnt about people. They, the very most of them, demands you to cope with their shitty, cheap, manipulative, and selfish and offensive actitude. If not. Your punishment is to be alone and with no one to talk or hang. Descent people are segregated just for not allowing someone to harm their dignity and self respect.
Doctor Strange 2 years ago
Last September, I ended up in the ICU for about a week. A viral infection caused some of my internal organs to stop working, including my pancreas. That, in turn, caused my blood sugar to spike off the scale (literally off the scale, the in hospital meter readers couldn't even give a number), and that lead to severe dehydration. According to the staff, if I had been even one more hour I definitely would have died, and as it was they weren't sure I was going to make it as I was in the worst shape of anyone brought in that day. So while I was quite literally laying on my potential deathbed, not a single one of my friends visited. I spent my time in the ICU alone.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
I'm so sorry that you were left to handle a frightening, life-threatening situation alone. No one should have to be alone during what you suffered.
Load More Replies... deanna woods 2 years ago
My instance occurred in high school. My aunt worked at the school board and they planned to throw me a graduation party. They told me to give them the names of eight people that I wanted to invite and I did. Only two of them showed up to the party. I learned at that point that not everyone that you think is your friend is your friend.
NotMe 2 years ago (edited)
There's definitely shitty people everywhere, but I also wonder about one thing: What if I did something that really hurt a friend and they never told me and I just for whatever reason didn't think it was a big deal? And what if they just stopped thinking of me as a friend, the same way I'm hurt about stuff someone else said or did to me? I think some people are just bad at communicating (this includes myself, ofc).
MoJo1979 2 years ago
I always used to be the one reaching out to friends. At the start of the pandemic, I arranged weekly video chats for us and after about 3 weeks of us doing it, some people started to not show up. I then made the decision not to chase people anymore to see who would actually reach out. Only 4 friends did and they're the ones that got my new phone number when I changed contracts. Those 4 friends are all I need and we all make an effort to spend time together at least once a month and we text/call each other every day.
Angela 2 years ago
I became sick with what would become a chronic, disabling illness. At first friends are supportive. However, when I never got better, everyone moved on with their lives as though I no longer exist. Now, my immediate family is my sole support.
NatalieC 2 years ago (edited)
I got fired from a job some years ago, and it was a horrible situation. I had one work friend there at the time. I couldn't find another job so my house went into foreclosure, filed for bankruptcy, had to rehome my dogs and managed to buy a shitty little trailer that i could afford. Everything in my life sucked. So, this work friend calls me to tell me how much the employer loves her and how great things are going and apparently someone gave her a house? Never once asked how things were with me. It was a hurtful call. Then, after that my trailer burned down and I wound up living in my car. The karma part: My trailer was in Paradise CA which PG&E burned to the ground in 2018. I have just finalized a settlement where I get $300,000. Haha... SUCK ON THAT, Cynthia.
Berdarien Brown 2 years ago
I have two. One I was in construction for years, mainly industrial lots of heights. I got sick and couldn't do it anymore. After treatment I had friends who convinced me to open a logistics business. These were people who I'd had over for Christmas and Thanksgiving. Had tons of nights hanging out camping or even just having parties. Some of the closest friends of the group. Had my business going ok and the wife was doing my books. I noticed some inconsistencies but I was doing well so no worries. Then had an argument with a driver about nonpayment and called the trucking company. Turns out what they were billing and what I was getting were vastly different things. Called her out and she went nuts, called all my contacts and accused me of being a drug addict.(I don't even drink). I lost my business fairly quickly. Had to move in with my folks and start my life all over. Was a great lesson in business horrible lesson in friendship.
Berdarien Brown 2 years ago (edited)
2nd in high school I was best friends with one of the prettiest girls in school. We just clicked and were together a lot. Well one of the guys in my group of "friends" wanted to sleep with her. I didn't even know about this at the time. His girlfriend finds out and im accused of telling her, again I didn't know anything about it. The friends all show up at my graduation party we get into a big argument most of them left. I ended up leaving town the next morning. Talked to one of them twice while I was gone. He ended up getting in an accident and died. Found out 10 years later who told her. Told the friend who accused me. Never saw any of them again. From best friends from grade 7 til end of 12. Inseparable to me having no friends because everyone thought I couldn't be trusted. Pretty self reliant because you never know who is gonna ghost you on nothing.
Load More Replies... Violet Jensen 2 years ago
My pet snake passed away after getting sick, and my vegetarian friend told me that I was being insensitive to their mental health by crying about it in front of them. I cut them off and they told everyone I left because of their mental health :( all my other friends believed me though
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
I used to have this big group of friends who I'd meet up with for drinks and pool and house parties and other fun stuff. Then they all moved away at about the same time and suddenly I had no-one to hang out with. I'm not upset with them; they were all studying engineering when I knew them and there weren't enough good job opportunities here so they left to look for work. But losing that social circle really sucked.
Raynelle 2 years ago
Me. I'm the bad friend. I spent teens and early adulthood being a doormat. I wanted to help everyone, I wanted to be nice to everyone. I trusted everyone. I attracted very toxic people. Eventually, in my mid 20s, I woke up, and refused to be a doormat anymore. I relocated to an unknown area, and created a new life. Shortly after, I met my now hubby, and created a safe, non-toxic, strong nuclear family that I'd been craving unknowingly since childhood. Several yrs into this relationship, our family doubled, from 3, to 6 (originally me, my son, my hub. His ex had his son and NC, so we didn't get to see him. I got preg, and 2 mo's before birth, we got his son from CPS case on mom. Then, 3 mo's after birth of baby, my mom's disability was approved, and she could support herself, as I couldn't, and moved her in with us from her toxic/unhealthy situation. Fam is now, me, hub, my oldest, step son/my mid, baby, and my mom) all of that within 6 mo's. (1)
Jackie Lulu 2 years ago
That doesn't sound like being a bad friend. Yes, you got yourself into toxic relationships, but you've helped many people since then. good for you.
Load More Replies... Jknbt 2 years ago (edited)
I loaned money to a "friend" so he could make his car payment that month. The lender had warned him to pay up immediately, or they would repo the car without further notice. He was on hard times and was about ready to cry when he asked for help. He even signed a contract saying he would do work on the property at a specified rate for so many hours to pay back the debt. His answer to my kindness was to skip town without an apology or goodbye while still owing half the money. Then five years later I get a call from my "friend". He announces he has moved back into town, needs a place to stay, and that he needs someone to rent him a storefront and loan him $50,000 so he can buy inventory for his new store. No mention of skipping town like before. Hmmm.... I told him I couldn't help him, give me a call when he gets settled somewhere, my treat for a coffee. Never heard from him again, and good riddance. I have already reached my lifetime maximum quota for "friends" like that. Goodbye. Moral of the story: you never really know someone until you get around their money. This tells all tales. Glad it wasn't worse, what if I had loaned him the $50k?
Patricia Yousif 2 years ago (edited)
Had what I thought was my first “best friend” had a lot in common,supportive conversations, In my joy I overlooked a lot of self-centered, arrogant, gossipy behavior. Recently I begin to question the relationship, and my suspicions were confirmed when this individual made a request that I refused to honor as it was not in my own best interest and the negative response that I received as a result of my refusal has ended the relationship. I am angry and sad but I learned a lot about myself and I am going to be just fine.
Nadine Bamberger 2 years ago
Most of the things were really awful and I'm sorry it happened to them. But sometimes I'd like to hear both sides of the story, who knows what really happened.
Roald 2 years ago
The monster of Frankenstein said: if one human would love me, I could forgive them all...Yep people... despite sincere kindness, love, attention, effort from your side there is no guarantee you will receive that back equally. When I realise that again it happened, it always gets me. But I will not change because I believe that somewhere someplace someone will be 'that one human'.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Hopefully you don't slowly murder someone's entire family in revenge...
Load More Replies... Enlee Jones 2 years ago
This is why I choose to no longer have friends. It’s so much easier to not deal with people and their c**p.
Michael Largey 2 years ago
We all have imaginary friends. They're real people - we just imagine they're our friends.
Powerful Musk Ox 2 years ago
When I got sober, about 95% of my closest "friends" disappeared. Joke's on them, I'm a better person and friend now, five years later.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Eh, be careful here. Lots of people just have a lot going on and may let stuff slip and a reasonable number of people have neurodivergence that make it hard to keep track of things even if they really are interested in doing something. Don't assume someone hates you or just doesn't care because you have to initiate or because they are bad with plans, especially if they really do put in some effort in other ways.
Load More Replies... Mikey Kliss 2 years ago
Maybe I'm just a crotchety old 30 something but a lot of these sound kinda petty? I had lots of friends thru HS and College and now I talk to maybe 3 or 4 tops and even that's every once in a while. It just seems like how life goes. We get old and all have something else going on
FABULOUS1 2 years ago
I have two friends, one is my SIL, and we are really more like sisters even though her and my brother are no longer together. And one other friend who is also more like family. End of last year I had 3 but one hasnt talked to me since I told her she couldnt come for Christmas after telling me she was exposed to covid. I am good with the two I have. We dont talk all the time but are there when we need each other and try and spend as much time together as possible. Having a lot of friends is overrated and can get messy.
Just a Winter Fanboy 2 years ago
"Friends are necessary for people to be happy" Lol don't make me laugh. You're generalizing all human beings to be a social entity when it's clearly not the case. Some people don't need friends to thrive in life. Sure it is nice to have strong social relationships, but it is not necessary for our survival AND our happiness. Simply put, it is not necessary for humans to have friends. Do your freakin' research and stop embarassing yourself.
Naomi 2 years ago
Discovering that a person isn't your friend is heartbreaking. So, seek acquaintances, not friendship. I recently invited a neighbor over for a cocktail. She gladly came...and I haven't seen her since, except in passing. She'll say hello and tell me that she's gonna drop by... My feelings aren't hurt. She's a neighbor, not a friend. It's important to learn and know the difference. I always try to be cordial with people, but not overly friendly.
Lisa McKay 2 years ago (edited)
My dad always said to me that in life you’ll make lots of good acquaintances, but very few real friends.
Myxomatosis 2 years ago
My single Father died of lung cancer at the age of 52 when I was 26. His family of 6 brothers and one sister (3 doctors) ignored us during his four years of suffering and have IGNORED ME IN THE FOLLOWING 2 DECADES SINCE HIS DEATH even though I managed to show up to said sister's funeral, who died on my Father's birthday.
R Dennis 2 years ago
My best friend, who was like a brother to me for 20+ years started posting racist stuff after Trayvon Martin was killed. I am multiracial and had dealt with situations where at 16-17, I left work at 1am and had to walk two miles to catch the last bus home. It was an affluent area and on several occasions, I had cars slowly circle and follow me for several blocks. It was terrifying to the point I started carrying a wrench to use as a weapon if someone got out of the car. I wrote him that I had been in that position of minding my own business and feeling like I could be killed. I also told him that I had done the same things as Trayvon Martin: tried pot (once), got suspended for fighting (someone jumped me), and flipped off a camera. Did that mean I deserved to die? I said that it really hurt that he thought it was okay. He never responded back and a couple days later posted another "thug" meme. Lost my brother that day...
Kristal 2 years ago
Known this girl since high school, we were like sisters, I held her father's hand as he died. She forgot I was the first person she came out to, which I thought a but odd. A few months later we went to a festival (camping for a week) and I realized she is the same as she was in high school, no real growth after 20ish years. She kept trying to find careers like massage therapy (too many muscles to memorize) or trying to be tiktok famous (she's mid-30's). After the festival, she was inspired to look into being a therapist and I told her that she would need a Master's degree to do that and that it would be extremely challenging (I completed my Master's in 2020 in an unrelated field) and offered alternatives similar but no graduate degree in case she found it too challenging. She ended up taking this as condescending and unsupportive, then threw c**p in my face that I confided in her about my relationship. She then blocked me and her mother (who was proud to be my 2nd mother) unfriended me
H M 2 years ago
Almost a year after my friend, all my cats and my partner died, I was depressed. Extremely. Friend fetched me. Nice I thought. She then proceeded to lecture me on what a terrible person I am, point out all my faults, go on how she is there for me, proceeded to tell me what I needed to do (with current living situation, and no it wouldn't work) and when I went to leave shouted at me and told me how unappreciative I was . If I hadn't wanted to die already, I might have wanted to after.
Tina Hugh 2 years ago
She’s a sadist. Some people are wired like that, but they still know right from wrong
Load More Replies... Sofia Vähäjylkkä 2 years ago
I had a best friend that betrayed me in the worst way possible. About 11 years ago, when I was 17, I was raped by a guy that I had dated for two months. It happened on a party and my best friend supported me after it happened. About two months later I found out by a mutual friend that my best friend had slept with him, the guy that raped me. She knew how devastated I was after that but still decided to sleep with him. I haven't heard of her since, she has never even apologized.
athornedrose 2 years ago
we'd been friends since we were kids. in college, he helped set me up with a guy he knew i was really into who turned me down. when i went to tell him, he suggested we go out. when i said no, he said my self esteem should be down since i just got turned down, and i should start lowering my standards since no one else was gonna put up with my anxiety disorder. i ran to my car.
Tina Hugh 2 years ago
Sounds like he was negging. I wouldn’t take his insults to heart, not that his opinion matters
Load More Replies... Yaz Cam 2 years ago
Some people are in your life for a reason and some only for a season. I recently ended a “friendship” because it was very one-sided. They got all the benefits of friend and I got nothing in return. When I would try to talk to them about things going on in my life they would literally fall asleep while I was talking! It was always all about them. I felt so much better once I ended that “friendship”
Momochild 7 months ago
Got a friend for over 30 years, but she ist always agressive in the end, when she drinks alcohol it get most of the time more agressive. I dont want to do things with her again, because often it end in stress and fights. how can i end a friendship wich lastet so long, even with good vibrations, but always this fight i dont want to handle anymore,, i told her so often but it dosnt end. there are a lot of storys i can tell, even i called one ore two times the cops, even her husband called the cops one time, in her marriage is allways stress and fightings... i dont know.
Mark Kelly 7 months ago
I've had friendships in which they would treat me like a friend and then sometimes like c**p and then treat me like a friend and on and off.
Mary G----no 7 months ago
I guess I'm just not the type of friend people want - so many of these rang true with me. 1- so many people who rsvp'd to my wedding didn't show up. So much wasted money on food and other stuff. It was very hurtful. 2- I've always been the person who was never invited. Only went on things as long as I did the planning. 3- I get interrupted and cut out of conversations all the time. Someone will ask a question (sometimes even directed towards me) and then I get interrupted before I can barely get an answer in. I've been in so many situations where I tried to take part in a conversation and people act like I'm not there. Got to the point that I just quit trying. Then sometimes, they wanna know why I don't have anything to say. It's because I didn't come up with anything because I didn't think I'd get to share. I knew it was bad when my husband started acting that way too. That's when I figured I just wasn't meant for true companionship.
Adams Turner 2 years ago
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Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
My youngest sister was in Las Vegas & I lived in San Diego. She called me in an absolute panic begging me to come help her out. (LSS: she was helping the mother of a friend & being threatened/bullied by people trying to take advantage of an 86 y/o woman). So, I drop everything & fly to Vegas. I got there at 11:00am & she was already drunk. She didn't have any money, so I ended up paying for everything - I'm talking Uber, meals, cigarettes, liquor (I decided it was easier to deal with her drinking than her going into withdrawal). She was, as usual, completely self absorbed; started drinking at 6:30 or so every morning, complained about everything, disagreed with me about everything and was just a really ungrateful nasty f*cking b*tch. After 3 days, I flew home - oh, and I gave her $200 cash so she'd at least have food. That was over a year ago. She thinks I'm not speaking to her over the $1000+ she owes me. Not even close. She's an absolutely horrible person & I choose NOPE.
Suzanne Haigh 2 years ago
I had a couple of friends, both came from the same village, both had the same name. We were friends for years and had some laughs but when one of them got married I was not invited to the wedding, just the evening do. All her new work friend were invited, I did not go and forgot about her. The other we did grow apart but when I look back I realise she spent most of her time belittling me, small tits, can not drink like she can, does not go abroad as much as her. Gosh i was so blind, I slowly moved away from her. Try and be realistic, there are loads of new friends out there, just join some groups, alter your drinking spots, change your scene.
Jay R 2 years ago
Its hard to find good friends :/ who I thought was my best friend completely changed after moving. Leaving me on read and s**t. Was real quick to reply when I was closer and was able to bring food. Smh. And havent texted since she found out my dad had emergency heart surgery a month ago. So I deleted numbers and everything. You need to be ok with being alone. Aint many people you can count on
Craig Stafford 2 years ago
I have to say reading these i feel less alone. I had a group of friends i shared with my olde bro. Our father told me i was born to trap him in his relationship, i spoke my my bro he made it all about him saying hes important i should be grateful i was born. My bro told all friends im not thinking of his feelings at all. The after i split with my ex he told all friends i was stoping him from seeing my daughter, even forceing my ex to stop him. I got hate from all friends on Facebook, text, discord. Now i dont bother with friends. I dont feel the point any more.
Mary J 2 years ago
I had a friend for a lot of years. We went through a lot together. She always tried hit on the guys that I really had feelings for. I really didn't care, because I dealt with some pretty decent guys and they wouldn't have done that to me. She had some serious self-esteem issues.So I was seeing this guy (#1) who i was really in love with, he was in the process of a divorce. She knew this was "the one" and she tried her best but got no play from him. I was also seeing this other guy #2, a fine-a*s entertainer. #1 was really jealous of #2, and he had damn good reason to be. So this B... goes and tells #2 about how #1 feels about him! He got so mad at me, like it was my fault. I told him she had mental issues, and he turned around and told me that I was jealous of HER AND HIS relationship! We fell out, and I basically cut both of them loose, and married #1. I was still so hurt though. I saw him about a year later and the first thing he said was... "She is a MADWOMAN!" TOLD YA!
Stannous Flouride 2 years ago
Had to stop reading about halfway through because of the memory it brought up of a "bachelor party" I arranged at a local bar. I invited about 10 of my closest male friends who all assured me they'd be there. None showed up. That was about 35 years ago and it still hurts.
Channo Sagara 2 years ago
Number #1 first top rule of thumb most important in life: DON'T TAKE PEOPLE FOR GRANTED. Let alone friends, your own dam flesh and blood family will definitely fail you if you do this. Always talk, discuss, ask, confront if you have to. But never take things for granted. Half of these problems happened because someone took their friends for granted.
Iga Błażejewska 2 years ago
My mom had cancer when i was just 23 and i was in serious depression. I forgot about a hangout with friends that was arranged on a WhatsApp group that i didn't visit. Someone told me 3 hours beforehand and i ended up ditching everything to drive 2 hours to be there. My best friend of 8 years acted rude and resentful to me for daring to forget, made comments about me being too loud and was generally unpleasant to be around. It was the most stressful day of my life and I haven't been the same since.
Friend Kelli 2 years ago
In '92 I spent the summer in an eating disorder clinic. Friends avoided me, which I get because it's awkward, but in '93 when I said I was getting married I had five 'friends' ask to be a bridesmaid.
Jackie Lulu 2 years ago
I learned a while ago that if you see a friend or partner of yours treating other people in an abusive or careless way, sooner or later they are going to treat you in that same abusive way. This happened with someone I'd been friends with for over 20 years. When she got after me in that ugly way over something I didn't do, I knew it was time to get out. Sadly I'm facing a similar situation now and know I need to do something about it, but it's hard, very hard.
Clara 2 years ago
My friend ditched me. I have depression. She actually has bipolar disorder. I'm very sympathetic to her because my dad has bipolar disorder. She would express her struggles. And I was always there for her because I've seen how it can affect a person. Well we met a group of other friends. And I know she told me she would like more friends since she was new to the area. But I didn't expect her to say "I never had friends.Now I do!" It felt like a stab in the gut. Because I was there with her from day one. Then she ditched me to hang out with them only. And when they wouldn't meet up with her, she would call me to invite me out and then rave about them. And how amazing they were and she wished her real friends lived closer to her. It just felt like I was a filler friend. Then when I told her one day that I wouldn't come to an event because my depression was kicking my butt that day, she completely ignored me and put me down. The whole time I thought we were best friends but I guess not
Evelyn Cardon 2 years ago
My friend would squish my thighs and then say squishy squishy or jiggly and I would feel super self conscious from that point forward about my weight
Evelyn Cardon 2 years ago
My “friend” called everyone away from the lunch table we were sitting at except for me and I was just left there sitting alone and then eventually one of them comes over and tells me that the need a break from being there friend right before Christmas and my birthday. Then one of them stole from me and would lie to me and not invite me to group activities and then she went and told the guidence counselor I was doing those things to her and so he told me I had to stop hanging out with them until they all agreed I could hang out with them again. Then she hid her pop it toy in the theater costume rack so that she could tell everyone that I stole it and traded it for a different pop it when I gave her that pop it for her birthday. It was like if u wanted it then I would have just kept it for myself and not given it to her for her birthday. Then she told everyone I was a liar and a thief they made up a secret language and wouldn’t tell me what they were saying and it was about me.
LucyGoosey 2 years ago
I was playing on the streets once with my friends at the time and I always had this one kid who would come down and start harassing me for God knows why. Not only did my best friend at the time not defend me (she usually did), but when that kid and I got into a fist fight because I threw a rock at his bike (wanted to throw it at his head), she was too busy making googly eyes at her crush to notice, even believed that I made it up. Another friend I had in high school was extremely manipulative and emotionally abusive. After threatening to take her own life and blame it on me because I wouldn't do what she wanted (this happened three times) I screamed at her and ended it there. Senior year was not fun after that. I find myself incredibly jealous of people who have amazing friends. I got a few now who are better, but there's always the thought in the back of my mind questioning it all...
Cyrus Allard 2 years ago
There was a girl at my school+job that I had a crush on. I invited her to prom, and she said yes, but didn't have her paycheck yet, so she wanted to borrow some money from me and pay me back later. I was so excited to go to prom with her, so of course I said yes and I paid for both our tickets. We get to prom. I asked her to dance multiple times, and each time she declined because "she doesn't dance". Said she would be right back because she has to use the bathroom, she's just talking to a bunch of other people instead. I make conversation with some of my friends, and we have fun and dance. Meanwhile she is off dancing with her friends, despite "not dancing", and basically ignores me the whole night. Towards the very end we got in one "dance" which was to apple bottom jeans. She never did pay me back and I haven't heard from her since.
Erika Sadie 2 years ago
I had a best friend throughout high school, we stayed close during college, she was one of my bridesmaids, she had asked me to be a bridesmaid in her upcoming wedding, and every summer I would dog sit for her while she went on vacation. One summer my car broke down 1 mile from her apartment. I called to see if I could stay the night at her apartment while it was being fixed (she had been begging me for a sleepover for a while). She didn't answer, but I knew she was at work. I waited three hours on the freeway for a tow truck, and two more hours at the shop with me car. She finally texted me back at 10pm and said, "Rough day at work, maybe some other time." I explained again that my car was inoperable and I needed a place to crash for the night (maybe she didn't understand my initial texts?) and she again reiterated that I was not invited to crash on her couch. Then she deleted me and all our mutuals off socials and we never spoke again.
Maple Porkly 2 years ago
A year into our marriage my husband was diagnosed with cancer (50/50 chance). My family had disowned me for the marriage and his lived far away so our friends of 5 years were all we had for support. My husband's treatment was a full day hooked up to an IV and he was left exhausted and sick for the next 24-48 hours after. This happened every 2 weeks since his cancer was so aggressive. We used to hang out with our friends almost every day so I had them over as much as I could despite being exhausted looking after him and working two jobs (he wasn't able to work during all this so I had to pull in more cash flow). I wanted him to feel comfortable and live as normally as possible. But after a few months they stopped answering my calls. Not like they lived far away (literally 3 blocks from us). Thankfully my husband was one of the lucky ones and survived. I kept my best friend that mattered. The rest disappeared into the wind. It's been 10 years now. Haven't heard from them since.
Yuki 2 years ago (edited)
God, these just remind me of the awful experiences with "friends" that I've had in the past. 🙄 --- One group (Jennifer, Hannah, Kara) would get together and refuse to invite me, despite one of them being my supposed "best friend" at the time (Jennifer). I'm pretty sure the little ringleader of that trio (Kara) turned the other two against me, because I'd been friends with Jennifer AND Hannah for almost ten years when they suddenly started ghosting me like that. Kara, I'm pretty sure, was pulling the "act nice to your face but trash-talk you behind your back to isolate you" thing. And what's worse, Jen and Hannah were my ONLY friends at the time, so I had no one. --- one (Kate) literally told me to "get over" losing my dad to cancer, NOT EVEN A WEEK AFTER HE'D PASSED AWAY. Just because she, apparently, "doesn't grieve" so therefore no one's allowed to. Blamed it on "[her] family being Italian". She also ripped apart a gift I made for her literally right after receiving it.
Cheese man Steve 2 years ago
Continued: the bartender heard we were military and had the whole place raise their glasses for us. Our old friend's group bought us drinks and we told them we actually used to be real good friends with him. They bought us another round and his group of friends actually hung out with us most of the night while he sat at the booth.
Load More Replies... Robert Margadona 2 years ago
Good people tend to protect their inner circles and overall groups from those types of people. The mean nasty ones that that aren't allowed in find the other mean nasties and form what Im calling "meanie groups" (birds of a feather flock together) or they become lonewolves. Also I've noticed that nobody in my huge group of friends including myself use Facebook alot. If someone here is looking for good friends I suggest finding a Hobbie that isn't drugs or alcohol and do them together. I want all you good people to find eachother and form a moral protection wall and you'll have good friends forever. Too many narcissistic behavior clusters and they are out. It can be done and maintained for years and even decades like ours. Don't give up.
Brittany Copeland 2 years ago
In high school, I organized a sleepover for my friends during my birthday, which is just before Halloween. I had made sure there werent any parties that weekend, and everyone said they'd come. Day of, only one showed up. She lived across town. 5 others lived within 5 minutes walking distance. They never mentioned it after that day, wouldn't give me any explanation. Day of graduation, they ghosted me. Haven't heard from any of them in 8 years. Saw on Facebook they all attended my (previous) best friend's wedding, though.
Irishwoman abroad 2 years ago
Friends can come and go in the natural ebb and flow of things, but usually you it happening because you've both moved on, literally or figuratively. I was blindsided a couple of times though, one by a friend who I thought was really close, then she decided to up and leave the country for family reasons and didn't tell me until the last minute, and has since pretty much ghosted me. Another was foreseeable - a very spoilt, well-off friend who would rant on about her nutcase of an ex husband, then quickly end the conversation if I tried to tell her any of my stuff. The worst for me was when I was really sick, she didn't contact me and when I eventually rang, she said she had too much going on and saw I had enough friends to help out. I did have lots of help, but I'd known her much longer and she made me feel I was just a bother to her, which hurt a lot. However, at that time I discovered that true friends are always there to help you, and tbh I don't miss her.
Ashley Shaffer 2 years ago
My best friend for like 20 years didn't like who we were voting for. In high school and early college she was very conservative. My family was conservative. We did everything together. Years later she switch sides and now very liberal. That didn't bother me. Everyone is allowed to have their own opinions and can make choices for themselves. Her and my husband got in a political debate (on Facebook no less), where you should have facts to back up what you say. She was heavily throwing opinions rather than facts. Her and her Facebook friends started calling my husband names and saying horrible things to him (which she knows is not true). Then told me she was never coming to my house again because she didn't feel safe around us. We have never ever been violent towards anyone. She blocked him on Facebook and i could choose her or my husband. I choose the love of my life and the father of my kids. All because of the last election.
Kevin Felton 2 years ago
This whiny c**p always kill me. "Oh they didn't come to my super bowl boo freaking hoo." Grow up. If you expect other people to make you happy you're guaranteed to be disappointed. Stop crying about it and learn 'to thine own self be true."
Zelda Blue 2 years ago
You can't work harder to have a friendship/relationship than the other person is willing to do as well. I have a friend that every time we want to do something she always makes it so difficult to nail down a date. She has the "busy" schedule while the rest of us make the time for each other. We have finally stopped trying to work around her, if she can make it great if she can't its on her.
Phyzzi 2 years ago
Hm, I get what you are trying to say, but I also would say that you can easily end something good with an attitude where you are constantly summing up how much you both contribute to a friendship.
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